I know you don't know but... I've been waiting months for this

dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes

blindiemac  asked:

So I've been thinking about the retirement au a lot today (work has been slow...) and I was thinking. Yuuri strikes me as the kind of man not to talk about his accomplishments, but he will gush about his friends. Like, "My friend Phichit just won Gold at the Four Continents!" "Chris was so good at the European Championships!" "My unofficial son Yurio just won at Worlds!" things like that. I imagine him talking about these things, but like his friends don't know he really knows these (cont.)

(Cont.) people. Like they think the beautiful, untouchable, hot Yuri Katsuki-Nikiforov is just like a massive fanboy for figure skating (which, true he is, but he’s also been known as Japan’s Ace so…) and think it is just a cute little character quirk that makes him even more adorable. After all, his friends are not into skating so they have no idea who these people are. They do however know Yuuri is gay (or at least bi) because he regularly refers to this guy Viktor as his husband (apparently he’s some big shot figure skater that Yuuri has the cutest little (massive) crush on, can you even believe how cute this guy is?). But Yuuri isn’t really married because he would wear a ring on his left finger if he was, like come on. It all comes to a head like it does in your retirement au by Yuuri being recognized by fans, with some added hilarity of “I talk about my figure skating friends all the time?" 

"We thought you were just a really big fan!" 

"I talk about my husband all the time?" 

"Yeah and Jenny talks about her rock star "wife” all the time too!“ 

"wait, you’re not really married?" 

Bc of course Yuuri would not find it weird to be married to a rock star. He married Viktor Nikiforov after all. (fin.) 



And completely and utterly plausible omg. Because that is literally exactly the kind of language we use here on tumblr XDD Even I call my favs as my sons or daughters, or how I call JJ as the king of my heart.

Wowow, okay, so the only plot hole in this au has been filled, we finally have a good explanation for why Yuuri’s friends don’t know he’s married!!! This is totally canon…in my headcanon XD

But then also can you imagine when his friends do finally find out that the person Yuuri has been calling his husband all this time is actually his husband, they insist on getting to meet him.

Except maybe that week Skate America is going on or whatever.

So all these famous skaters are in the US, and Otabek’s competing too. And Yura wants to spend some time with the bff, so Yuuri and Viktor decide to have a house party after the competition is over.

And Yuuri’s college friends are invited over.

And they get there, and they just kinda stare around at everyone like OAO

Because they’re all lowkey terrified and highkey intimidated because???? This party is basically a who’s who of the figure skating world??? Their little Yuuri knows and is comfortable with so many celebrities? Their little Yuuri IS a celebrity!!!!! This is more famous people than they’d ever thought they’d meet in one place!!!

But before the night is over, they’ve loosened up and gotten to know the skaters. Chris is probably missing his pants. Yuuri has a bottle or two of champagne in him (nevermind the fact that those two bottles probably cost more than any of his friends make in a month). And you know Phichit has told a very attentive crowd the full story of how Viktor and Yuuri met, in detail. Never mind the fact that Phichit wasn’t even at that banquet in the first place, and he himself had gotten the story, heavily embellished, from Chris.


#i need his smiles more than i need air

Educating a Friend
  • Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
  • Guy Friend: What's his name?
  • Me: I don't know. Frank?
  • Guy Friend: No.
  • Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
  • Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
  • Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
  • Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
  • Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
  • Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
  • Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
  • Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
  • Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
  • Guy Friend: What five bucks?
  • Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
  • Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
  • Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
  • Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
  • Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
  • Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: oh

A short little future-take from Pure that literally no one asked for but you’re getting it anyways because it got stuck in my head after someone on here wrote a post about waking up in a hospital and smiling because the person you love is sitting there asleep, but whatever, the muse is fickle and I have learned not to scoff at her gifts. RATED M for brief smutish content. If you’ve read the whole story, fear not! There is very little angst here. If you haven’t read it, you probably won’t understand all of the references but that shouldn’t detract too much from enjoying what’s below.

I spent enough time wandering this hospital when Sarah was assaulted to know exactly where I’m going. Three quick turns left and one flight of stairs up. I even know which board to stop at, scanning the names for the one I want, my stomach twisting when I find it next to the number 12K. Ironic.

Turning on my heel, I charge down the hall, right past the nurses’ station.

“Miss…Miss! You can’t be on this ward unless–!”

I whirl around to face the nurse, barely holding back tears, arms crossed over my chest to keep my heart from crumbling to ash in my chest. Fucking hormones. She balks at the look in my eyes, but I don’t need her calling security on me so I huff and manage to get myself somewhat under control.

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50% OFF starters.
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  • "let me help you out of that swimsuit-- POOL."
  • "I sure hope we become best friends! but I don't hope we have a falling out, leading us to have a tense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love/hate relationship later on."
  • "so anyways I regain consciousness, there's cops everywhere, (name) is covered in blood, got an icepick-- haha it was kind of a weird tuesday."
  • "we're gonna be late for anime school!"
  • "I'm just saying, is it illegal if I'm in my OWN pool?"
  • "(name) WAS A BITCH-ASS POSER."
  • "oh no, he's hot when he's sad!"
  • "this reminds me of prison. this reminds me of prison. this DEFINITELY reminds me of prison."
  • "look at that little pimp. he's gonna grow up to be a prison ass mothafucka."
  • "let's skip all the fluff and get to the part where we're shirtless."
  • "homeboy looks like shark week, I ain't messin' with that."
  • "It wasn't a dream! We got arrested for trespassing! We went to JAIL!"
  • "Nah, man, we went to holding. there's a big difference."
  • "Yeah now we owe Easter Dave a favor-- that is NOT a position you wanna be in."
  • "Wouldn't we have seen him around by now? I mean he is a bipedal shark-person."
  • "I'VE GOT MACE!"
  • "Was macing us really necessary AFTER you remembered who we were?!?"
  • "you took the fall for me and I said thank you."
  • "I went to jail!"
  • "I spent 6 months at a correctional facility!"
  • "I stabbed a girl in the yard!"
  • "I think that guard you killed had a family!"
  • "look at that majestic ass mothafucka. like a dolphin or some shit. a dolphin with legs... and arms... and a jetpack."
  • "that's how they do it in Austrailia."
  • "20 bucks on jabber jaws."
  • "hey, man did you Tivo Glee last night?"
  • "I'm not allowed to watch Glee, my dad says it might turn me into something bad. A musical theater major."
  • "Neither one of them even died!"
  • "they won't let me back into sewing club because apparently when I threaten someone with sewing needles it's deemed 'inappropriate' and I 'have to leave'."
  • "I have to tumblr this!"
  • "a guy with emotional issues who swims away his problems? Lady, that's the whole team, you're gonna have to be more specific."
  • "I ship them! and them!"
  • "they hate each other, but they also fuck each other!"
  • "hey we try not to get this part of the gym wet so whatever you're doing is gonna have to stop."
  • "so do you wanna come back to my place, listen to some Dave Matthews and talk about my work out routine?"
  • "I wonder if that stuff I hid is still here? ...nah, cops probably took it."
  • "do you know? do you know for sure? Because I don't need another incident."
  • "If I get out of this chair I guarantee you'll end up in one with wheels."
  • "Ok. I'll admit, I'm a little threatened."
  • "'sup bitches!~"
  • "aren't you that guy who drowned a kid? and burned down that building?"
  • "get back to it before you learn a lesson in post-war, urban torture practices."
  • "Remember, snitches get stitches!"
  • "shut up you're high as balls!"
  • "you're just mad because mom and dad thought you were a girl for the first year of your life."
  • "right, son. and speaking of crushing disappointments-"
  • "coach tried to get me to vandalize a police station again."
  • "good thing I wore my Heelys."
  • "he's so hot but so crazy! which makes him even MORE hot!"
  • "Come on let me get those digits baby!"
  • "It should be illegal to be that fine!"
  • "oh just basic addition and subtraction. he was subtracting from my profits so I'm going to add a few extra holes in him."
  • "this doesn't seem like the time for polka-renditions of Ke$ha songs."
  • "I hate it when you leave but I love watching you go."
  • "Yeah I've seen him. He's in my scrapbook class. He cuts the eyes out of magazine photos."
  • "your arrest record is extensive... and amateur."
  • "I want that boy to be my bride!"
  • "Pilates will do that man, works your core."
  • "what are we waiting for? let's go bro! let's gbro!"
  • "wow you sure said that."
  • "WOOP! WOOP! hold it, I'm gonna have to pull you over for exceeding recommended hotness."
  • "One time we went camping in the woods, I just left 'em there. Nobody found them for like 5 days. I don't even think their families cared, kinda sad, really."
  • "So, what you're saying is, if they disappeared, no one would notice?"
  • "well I've gotta go not talk to you anymore."
  • "I learned how to swim the old fashioned way. When I was five my dad took me out to a lake and tossed me right in the water."
  • "I'm so happy right now! --and it's not just cause I get to see you in a bunch of different swimsuits. Ok I lied, I'm sorry, that's mostly the reason."
  • "hey I know you! You helped me smuggle some stuff out of the country! How've you been kid?"
Newsies (musical) Lyric Meme
  • "Them streets down there, they sucked the life right outta my old man. Well they ain't doin' that to me."
  • "Everyone wants to come to New York."
  • "You keep your small life in the big city. Give me a big life in a small town."
  • "They say folks is dyin' to get here. Me? I'm dying to get away."
  • "Close your eyes. Come with me."
  • "I bet a few months of clean air, you could toss that crutch for good."
  • "You can bet we won't let them bastards beat us."
  • "Don't you know that we're a family? Would I let you down?"
  • "It's a crooked game we're playing. One we'll never lose."
  • "Ain't it a fine life?"
  • "What a fine line carrying the banner!"
  • "It takes a smile that spreads like butter, the kind that turns a lady's head."
  • "If I hate the headline, I'll make up a headline!"
  • "Shave me too close and you may slit my throat."
  • "It's the simplest solutions that bolster the bottom line."
  • "Give me a week and I'll train them to be like an army that's marching to war."
  • "That's the bottom line!"
  • "I'm doing alright for myself."
  • "The thing I want most, I can't get."
  • "Honey, that's rich."
  • "This life's too short to waste it on you."
  • "Love at first sights for suckers. At least it used to be."
  • "I never planned on someone like you."
  • "Turns out that love ain't blind, it's dumb."
  • "You are the most impossible boy ever."
  • "They think we're nothing! Are we nothing?!"
  • "They think they got us! Do they got us?!"
  • "And the world will know!"
  • "The world don't know but they're gonna pay."
  • "The world will know that we've been here!"
  • "Either they give us our rights or we give them a war."
  • "Everyday we wait is a day we lose!"
  • "All I know is I don't know what to write."
  • "As I may have mentioned, I have no clue what I'm doing."
  • "Am I insane? This is what I've been waiting for."
  • "Lie down with dogs and you wake up with a raise and a promotion."
  • "Just look around at the world we're inheriting and think of the one we'll create."
  • "Now is the time to seize the day."
  • "Stare down the odds and seize the day."
  • "Courage cannot erase our fear."
  • "Courage is when we face our fear."
  • "Once we've begun, if we stand as one, someday becomes somehow."
  • "Wrongs will be righted, if we're united."
  • "Proud and defiant, we'll slay the giant."
  • "Nothing can break us. No one can make us quit before we're done."
  • "One for all and all for one."
  • "Let me go far away. Somewhere they won't ever find me and tomorrow won't remind me of today."
  • "No more running. No more lying."
  • "Where does it say you gotta live and die here?"
  • "Where does it say a guy can't catch a break?"
  • "Why should you only take what you're given?"
  • "Why should you spend your whole life being trapped where there ain't no future?"
  • "If the life don't seem to suit you, how about a change of scene?"
  • "I can't spend my whole life dreaming."
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  • "You don't need money when you're famous."
  • "Look at me, I'm the King of New York!"
  • "I gotta be either dead or dreaming!"
  • "Guess I wasn't much help yesterday."
  • "There's no way I am putting them kids back in danger."
  • "You know why a snake starts to rattle? Cuz he's scared."
  • "You can't undo the past."
  • "Your abject surrender was always the bottom line."
  • "Be glad you're alive. I'd say that's the bottom line."
  • "Til the moment I found you, I thought I knew what love was."
  • "Love will do what it does."
  • "One night may be forever, but that's all right."
  • "If you're gone tomorrow, what was ours still will be."
  • "I have something to believe in now that I know you believed in me."
  • "Do you know what I believe in?"
  • "There's change coming once and for all."
  • "Write it in ink or in blood, it's the same either way. They're gonna damn well pay!"
  • "Once and for all if they don't find their manners, we'll bleed 'em!"
  • "Once and for all there'll be blood on the wall if they doubt us."
  • "This town will shut down without us."
  • "Wherever you go, I'm right there by your side."

Scout had been waiting all day to use that line, too…

[based off this]

The Three List | Barry & Iris | Script Fic
  • Barry: Hey, Iris?
  • Iris: Yeah, hun?
  • Barry: Do you remember when you were with Eddie & you told me about your 3's list?
  • Iris: My 3's list?
  • Barry: Yeah, you know, three guys you could cheat on Eddie with.
  • Iris: *snorts* oh, right. My 3 list.
  • Barry: You don't still HAVE that, do you?
  • Iris: *blinks* What?
  • Barry: Your 3 list. Do you still have it?
  • Iris: Uh...probably somewhere. Why?
  • Barry: *clears throat* I was just wondering if Oliver was still on it.
  • Iris: *smirks & crawls over to him* Babe, you know that's not a serious thing, right?
  • Barry: what do you mean?
  • Iris: *laughs* even if Oliver had given my fangirl self the time of day when I was with Eddie, I wouldn't have slept with him.
  • Barry: *blinks* you wouldn't have?
  • Iris: *laughs* Who do you think I am, Bear? You think 'he's on my three list!' would've sufficed if Eddie had caught us in bed together?
  • Barry: *blushes fiercely* No, I guess not.
  • Iris: *cups face* Babe, you've got nothing to worry about. *kisses him* You're the only one I want.
  • Barry: *after many kisses & sweet nothings whispered* But is Oliver still--
  • Iris: *rolls eyes & gets off him* oh, for crying out loud.
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, I didn't mean-
  • Iris: You most certainly did. *starts to walk away*
  • Barry: *panics* Iris-
  • Iris: Calm down. I'll be right back. *dashes up the stairs & comes back 10 minutes later* Found it!
  • Barry: *shifts towards her, eyes wide* What did you... *spots piece of paper she's holding* Oh.
  • Iris: *hands paper over* Take a look for yourself.
  • Barry: *scans list of names & frowns* He's still on it.
  • Iris: Mhmm.
  • Barry: This doesn't make me feel any better, Iris.
  • Iris: *crosses arms* that's the original list. I only updated it once, a couple months after I'd moved in with Eddie.
  • Barry: *still frowning* where's that one?
  • Iris: *makes circling motion with her finger*
  • Barry: *checks the other side* This one looks pretty much the same. I don't see-- *jaw drops*
  • Iris: *starts to grin* See something you like, hun?
  • Barry: Am...Am I...? *squeaks*
  • Iris: *nods* Mhmm.
  • Barry: I'm in the number 2 spot!
  • Iris: That's one above Oliver, I believe.
  • Barry: *still gawking* I don't understand.
  • Iris: *comes & sits next to him on the couch* After you told me how you felt when I was with Eddie, I had a lot of feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. Then when Eddie got all secretive on me I started thinking about you even more, and how my best friend would NEVER keep secrets from me the way my boyfriend was doing.
  • Barry: *winces* sarcasm is warranted.
  • Iris: in the past. *waves it off*
  • Barry: *swallows hard & nods*
  • Iris: That night when I came back to my dad's & you were there reassuring me, I felt like that was a safe place to put them. My feelings for you.
  • Barry: On your 3 list?
  • Iris: *nods* On my 3 list.
  • Barry: Did Eddie ever see it?
  • Iris: *laughs* Are you kidding? If Eddie had seen the updated version, he would've figured out what was up right away, even before I did.
  • Barry: And what was up?
  • Iris: *smiles & gently kisses him* I was in love with my best friend.
  • Barry: *has warm fuzzies* Iris...
  • Iris: So, you can keep that if you like. Oliver's name is still on it - BENEATH yours though. I don't have a need for it anymore. I haven't looked at it until today in over two years.
  • Barry: Yeah?
  • Iris: *nuzzles & kisses* yeah. You're all I want, Bear. If I can't have you, there's no one else I want. Not even a one night stand with a celebrity.
  • Barry: *smiles*
  • Iris: Do YOU have a 3 list? *raises eyebrows*
  • Barry: WHAT? *squeaks*
  • Iris: You heard me.
  • Barry: Iris.
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *sighs & then laughs* I have a 1 list.
  • Iris: *eyebrow furrow* What's a 1 list?
  • Barry: *pulls out wallet & digs out tiny scrap of paper inside & hands it to her* Same thing as a 3 list. Except mine only has 1 name on it.
  • Iris: *jaw drops when she reads it* I'M the only name on your 3 list??
  • Barry: *grins & pulls her close* Yep.
  • Iris: But of all he gorgeous celebrities, even SCIENCE NERDS, you only chose--
  • Barry: You're the only one I've wanted since the day that I met you.
  • Iris: *teary-eyed* Barry...
  • Barry: Getting a chance with you? 10 times better than any hook up with ANY celebrity.
  • Iris: *sighs contently & kisses him* I love you, Barry Allen.
  • Barry: I love you, Iris West.
  • Iris: *nuzzles & pulls away after a while* So what are you going to do with my 3 list?
  • Barry: Give it back to you. *hands it over* You decide what to do with it.
  • Iris: *grins* Mmk. *pecks him in the cheek, stands up & heads to the roaring fireplace*
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, what are you doing?! *speeds over*
  • Iris: Getting rid of it. I don't need it anymore.
  • Barry: Well, maybe you should keep it. You know, as a keepsake.
  • Iris: *eyes him suspiciously* Why do you want it?
  • Barry: *I* don't want it. It's yours. I gave it back to you. So you--
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *swallows* I mean, you ranked me ABOVE Oliver, so...
  • Iris: OHMYGOD. *rolls eyes & shoves it into his hand* You keep it. It'll be YOUR keepsake. *walks back to the couch & sits down*
  • Barry: It's not really MINE, so--
  • Iris: *gives him THE LOOK* one more word, Barry, and I WILL throw it to the flames. Not even your superspeed will stop me.
  • Barry: *nods & swallows* Right. *tucks paper into pocket & comes to sit next to her* So...
  • Iris: *raises eyebrow*
  • Barry: Now what?
  • Iris: *irritation fades away & she pulls him close, kissing him* Now I get some one-on-one time with #2 on my 3 list.
  • Barry: *pulls back after a few kisses* I thought you just said--
  • Iris: I swear to God, Barry, if you don't just kiss me--
  • Barry: *speeds them up their bedroom, drops her on the bed & takes off t-shirt, then hovers over her & kisses her, lingering*
  • Iris: *moans* Don't tell my boyfriend about this. He'll be extremely jealous.
  • Barry: *restrains groan* On my life. *mutters & kisses her again*
  • ...
  • A/N: Just did (as of 4/2/17) a bit of an edit, b/c I watched the 1.08 scene & realized it's actually called a 'three' list, not a 'threes' list. So I changed all those & added a short line to something Iris said early on.

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you're taking prompts right now, but if you are could you please do something for "I've wanted this - I've wanted /you/ - for a long time now." I loooove your writing and I'd be excited to see how what you did with this!

 Thank you, anon! I hope this is what you wanted. :-)

Their first mission together after Harry’s return to Kingsman is a disaster from start to finish. The company jet develops mechanical issues, so they’re forced to take a commercial flight to Athens. That plane is delayed for two hours and they miss their connecting flight, and they’re both in a bad mood by the time they finally arrive at their hotel. 

For three weeks they do their best, but their target never shows. They bribe, cajole, wheedle, steal, and even threaten people, but in the end they have to accept the inevitable. Their chemical weapons engineer, the one who’s supposed to be here to sell his latest and greatest new product, simply isn’t coming. 

At least they get to go home in relative comfort. While they wait for the news that the Kingsman jet has arrived at the airport, they pack up in the hotel and get ready to check out. Harry takes care with his new suits, layering them in the garment bag he has draped across the bed. 

In front of the other bed, Eggsy zips up his suitcase with a little flourish. He sets it on the floor, drops the handle back into its slot, and says, “I know I’m supposed to be pissed off that we didn’t get our man, but honestly?” He looks up at Harry. “This has really been great.” He grins. 

A bit astonished by this, Harry doesn’t say anything. 

Fortunately, Eggsy doesn’t seem to have expected an answer. He goes on talking. “I mean, I’ve wanted this for a really long time.“ 

Keep reading

The Oracle

A/N: I bring you the thing I had wanted to write in like forever: the saltiest reunion yet. But come on, did you really think I’d leave this character out? Not a chance.

Based on Flat Dreams by @pengychan. AU by @doodledrawsthings. Enjoy.

Part 1

Part 2 

“He is awake.”

“So soon?” Jheselbraum casts a look at at dimension 46’/, where Mabel Pines reaches to shake the hand of the monster they defeated only a year or so ago. “I would have expected at least a few more centuries.”

“I’m sure you know that time is relative.” The is a tone of amusement in the Ancient’s words. “It has been a lot longer than that.”

The Oracle takes that in, watching the events in Stanford’s home dimension play out, and hums in amusement, “‘A different form’,” she repeats to herself, “You couldn’t resist the irony, could you?”

The Axolotl chuckles, “Rather fitting, considering the many times humanity was deceived by him.”

Keep reading

Good Morning

Another CS conversation, post 7x02. Mention of early pregnancy loss. 900 words, or thereabouts.

“Snow was asking how you told me.”

“Told you what?”

“About the baby.”


“Apparently, it’s quite the big thing here. A smock embroidered with ‘Daddy’s sidekick,’ a pair of socks for the grandparents, a pie in the oven–”

“Not a pie, a bun.”

“Just a single bun?”

“Yeah, just one.”

“Well, that sounds miserly.”

Keep reading

It Ends

This weekend has been hard, you guys. My boyfriend - or I suppose ex now - decided that it would all end right before our third year together. I’ve gone through so many emotions of extreme downs to being angry to simply feeling helpless in what was happening in my life.

And I know compared to others lives, this is nothing, this is simply a small bump in the road. And when I think about it in the long run of things, I know that to be true. I know that in the end I’m going to turn out fine. But, right now, the entire future I had built for myself has crashed to the ground without any warning.

I tired one last time to salvage everything this morning. A mission I knew I would walk away from without winning, but it needed to be done. And I suppose to help me process it better, I put it here.

I’m sorry to be dumbing my feelings here, but I figure it anyone might benefit from what I’m going through, it’s the readers who might feel something while reading it.

Enjoy? I guess?

“Are you okay?”

The instant anger that arose from that question within their chest from that question hurt more than they had expected. The tears were already blurring their vision as they turned on Oikawa:

“No!” they choked around their tightening throat, taking in the way he recoiled, his hand rising to reach and grip at his bicep. “I’m not okay,” they continued despite the openly terrified expression that touched at his features, “you were unfair in your decision. A decision you had no right to make for me out of nowhere. It wasn’t right and I’m not okay.”

And, god, were they not. They knew that now staring at him, staring at those brown eyes that mirrored their own in his emotions. This was not something he wanted and it was all the worse for it.

“Now, I deserve answers,” they forced themselves to meet with his eyes, to make him look at them - really look at them - when he explained himself, “I want to know when you started thinking this way and why you never came to talk to me about it.” 

Because everything had been so perfect. Their plans for their anniversary were still being made, they had been making reservations for their vacation, and just the weekend before he had made love to them before whispered sweet ‘I love you’s as they drifted to sleep. There had been no signs between that moment and the next when he decided for them that he was going to let them go. That it was for them, that it was the right thing.

“About a month ago,” the words felt like ice pouring over their skin. A whole month of doubt and not a single mention of it. An entire month of pretend. “And I should’ve talked to you,” Oikawa admitted, his shoulders hunching, his voice small, “but I was scared that if we had that conversation everything would be over.”

Their chin trembled, “That’s not fair. Couples talk about these things, not make the choice because they think they know what’s best.” Oikawa couldn’t decide this for them. It was their choice on whether they were willing to wait for him to be ready; they were fine with how they were now - happy, in fact - and they didn’t need anything else right now.

“I know,” he whispered, his age falling to their feet. They watched the first tears of too many drip from his eyes. It was harder, they thought, far harder for him to feel so much about this.

A moment was needed, for composure to be collected. Because they has things to say, they had points that they needed to make. They weren’t going to let him have the last say, wasn’t going to let him leave without them getting their  thoughts in. “I was fine without moving in together,” they started, their hands rising desperate for something to do with them, “and I’m not saying that as a way to salvage this or anything, I really was. I have goals and you have goals and I was fine working on ourselves independently as we were–”

“It’s not just that,” he spoke, his eyes red as he met with their own, “I’m not there. I’m just not and I can’t tell you why. I can’t tell you that I’ll marry you tomorrow or that I want to move in with you because I can’t promise you something I don’t know if I’ll be able to ever give you.”

“But you don’t know how you’ll feel in the next few years, you just don’t!”

“But when it comes down to it, you’re there,” Oikawa’s voice broke as he reached out, hand dropping before he could take hold of theirs, “you’re there and I’m not. And you don’t deserve to be dragged along by me just because it’s comforting to me. It’s not fair to you because you deserve someone that can give those things to you.”

It hurt. It hurt so bad because it made sense. It made so much sense and they didn’t want it to. They didn’t want it be that rational. They wanted for their love for each other to be enough and to fight through it. There were so many things they wanted and with no way of obtaining. All they really knew was that it hurt.

They took a shuddering breath, their eyes falling closed as tears dripped down their cheeks. “I didn’t come here to change your mind,” they heard him release a sob at those words, “because I knew I wouldn’t be able to. I just… I couldn’t let you walk away without getting my own say in. I wasn’t going to let you speak for me.” But they couldn’t make him stay as much as they wanted either.

He knew, he thanked them for it, said they were right. He said he was sorry, said he loved them - probably always will - and how he hoped he could have them in his future if they chose. All the words that created a terrible twisting within their gut as they walked to that door.

And then they were holding each other, tears falling to shoulders and fingers digging into locks of hair. It would be the last time, the last time they were ever so close. They tried to burn the dips of his back, the curve of his shoulders into their mind. Tried to memorize the way his hands wrapped so tightly around their waist, tried to focus on the heat of his body that they would never feel again.

They went to pull away then, their mouth finding his despite any rational thought that told them otherwise. He kissed back instantly, his hands rising cup their face between them so tenderly, so desperately to stay exactly as they were.

A sob rising from their chest broke them apart, their gaze unable to meet with his own as his fingers slipped away for the last time. “I should go, I’m just gonnna go,” but they weren’t moving, couldn’t bring themselves to, “I need to go. I should go.”

“I love you,” he choked, his hands falling away as they stepped back, turning away from him to focus on the concrete below, “I do.”

And they left, leaving behind a future they thought that was forever. Sobs racked their body as they went, their body desperate to return to those arms they were walking away from. Because they loved him too; surely always will.

anonymous asked:

So like what is the evidence for Kylo jumping into the sea to rescue Rey on Achto? I've seen that mentioned many times these past few months but I have no idea where people are getting it from. And especially after the Vanity Fair Scare just now I don't want to be hopping on the train of excessive Reylo optimism unless I got my solid evidence handy for that plot point happening.

hiiiiiii! so this is a thing known to most of the fandom as the Cliff Scene™, but it’s origins are spoilery so under the cut to avoid possible spoilers for TLJ!

But before we go and I lose some people who understandably want to be as spoiler free as possible, it’s really important for me to say that excessive Reylo optimism is not a bad thing, nor did Vanity Fair strike it down. Fandom is in large part a thing of wild hope and speculation, and while we want every single thing to come out and confirm our wildest hopes, that’s just not how it’s always going to play out (and people have different hopes, even in an OTP/ship fandom).

So if this idea excites you (or any idea), then it’s okay to have that wild hope. That’s what fandom is about. And those who have been in fandoms long enough know that what is written/shown on screen is almost never as fantastic as some meta/headcanon/stories you’ve seen - and that’s okay. As long as we’re still eating ice cream, we can enjoy all the different flavors!

anyway, just my thoughts on that - spoilers re: the Cliff Scene™

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm flying to Vancouver in three weeks (which is halfway across the globe from Switzerland, where I live) and I'm really nervous because I've never been that far away from home and I was wondering if you could write a mini fic about Alex being nervous about flying halfway across the globe (to Geneva for example). I mean, you don't have to, but it would probs help me with my anxiety... I love your fics and they have helped me with my anxiety before. <3

She’s fine in the DEO helicopter.

It feels… different, somehow.


She knows the pilot and she can pilot the damn thing herself if she needed to. 

In the DEO helicopter, she’s strapped in and she’s armed and she knows where the parachutes are.

In commercial jets?

She’s so much more powerless.

And then she keeps having these dreams.

These dreams about dying under the crush of metal after a screaming crash.

They’re probably from that crash from Geneva.

Well, the almost crash.

The thing that would have been a crash, if Kara hadn’t saved her.

But she’s scheduled to head out to Geneva – again – because, even though Winn teases that she doesn’t have a diplomatic bone in her body, she’s actually quite good at the negotiating thing.

And J’onn doesn’t trust anyone else on this particular job.

But there are the nightmares.

There’s the helplessness. 

So she doesn’t want to go.

Not even a little bit.

Maggie holds her extra close through her panic attacks.

Through the panic attacks that the medicine doesn’t help with at all.

Kara holds her extra close through her panic attacks.

Through the panic attacks that get so bad her girlfriend calls Kara, so Kara can help.

And she does. Help.

Because Alex feels safe in Maggie’s arms, but add Kara’s to the mix?

Her breathing actually starts to regulate.

She wishes the flight were shorter. 

She wishes she wasn’t going so far away.

She clenches her fists the entire morning before she leaves – Kara had kept her own hands between Alex’s all night long so she didn’t accidentally cut into her own skin in her sleep – and Maggie kisses each of her knuckles, each of her fingertips.

“I loaded your iPad with old episodes of The West Wing, and I got you the issue of that medical journal you like, okay, babe?”

“The one that’s not being published until next month?” Alex asks with hopeful, disbelieving eyes, and Maggie grins and shrugs.

“I know a guy,” she says casually, but Alex can tell it wasn’t easy. 

Alex can tell she is so, so loved.

“Aaaand,” Maggie adds, pressing Alex’s phone gently into her hands. “I made you a mixtape.” 

Maggie blushes at this, and Kara squeals, because god, that’s a great idea, she should do that for Lena. She’s already got certain ‘Nsync songs in mind.

“Mags, you made me a mixtape? What’s on it? Oh babe, I – “

Maggie accepts Alex’s excited kisses with a smile, with open arms and with slightly parted lips that make Kara turn away and hum loudly.

“Wait until you take off, then play it for yourself. No peaking, understand Agent Danvers?” Maggie smiles, and it’s Alex’s turn to blush.

“Understood,” she whispers, and her breathing eases as her sister and her girlfriend take her to the airport, as she hugs and kisses and hugs and kisses again and finally waves them goodbye at the security checkpoint.

She closes her eyes as the plane lifts, and she thinks of flying with her sister. She manages to breathe.

She flips on Maggie’s mixtape, she settles back, and she smiles as that Sigma and Rita Ora song that makes her heart leap every time starts filling her ears, filling her lungs, filling her blood.

She smiles, because a week halfway around the world isn’t nearly that long when she has her sister, and when she has this amazing, amazing woman, to come home to.

anonymous asked:

Could you do something in the two alphas verse where the baby (babies maybe) kick for the first time. I've been pregnant (and it kinda sucks cause you're crazy sick and sore) but baby moving makes it worth it. And other people love feeling then bump lol

“I feel like a whale.” Obi-Wan settled heavily into his council chair, awkwardly shifting the pillow behind his back as he did and then breathing out.

“I know what you mean.” Depa grumbled, rubbing her face slowly.

“Do either of you two want anymore pillows perhaps?” Mace raised his brow, looking between the two.

“Or perhaps a cup of tea?” Plo leaned forward, frowning a bit in worry.

“No, I’m fine for tea and I have a pillow. I just wish I wasn’t huge.” Obi-Wan sighed with Depa echoing his words.

“Though I’d love a bowl of icecream right about now…with chocolate on it…and perhaps wafers.” She stared at her knees then sighed. “I’ll get it later. Later.”

Yoda gave a small snigger. “Big you both are, but wonderful in the Force your little lights feel. Comfort in that perhaps?”

“A little bit.” Obi-Wan rested his head on his hand, humming. “But sti-Ah!” Obi-Wan curved forward in surprise, wrapping his arms around his stomach before blinking down at his stomach. “Oh.”

“Obi-Wan?” Kit sat up in his chair.

“Um…the baby just kicked. Oh Force Anakin is going to be so annoyed.” Obi-Wan laughed a bit, his hands resting on his stomach as the next kick was delivered. “Again…”

There was a little pause and then Mace got up, moving in front of the omega and holding out his hands. “May I?”

At the others nod, Mace settled his hands carefully on the swollen curve, waiting just a few seconds before there was a soft kick. Mace lips curved a bit. “Congratulation Obi-Wan, feels like a strong one.”

That got a grin out of Obi-Wan before he glanced around. “If anyone else wants to try…”

That got him a line of councilors, all of them resting gentle hands on his stomach to feel it gently, commenting about how much the baby inside of him felt strong, already bright in the Force.

“I’m almost envious but I can’t be bothered to get up and feel it myself.” Depa laughed before grinning at him. “How does it feel? What am I in for?”

“It feels weird.” Obi-Wan confirmed for her. “Like…the strangest sensation of tickling from the inside I have ever experienced. Anakin and Padme are going to be so disappointed they missed out on this. But we should return to this…dream Anakin keeps having. It doesn’t make sense.” He looked around.

“Hmm, prone to visions young Skywalker has not been. Only one we know about.” And hadn’t that been a punch to the gut.

Obi-Wan had spent an hour apologizing and crying into Anakin’s chest, though the latter he’d blame on his unstable hormones at the time. But…

He had never thought Anakin’s mother would die.

He had ensured Cleigg had taken the money he offered to buy her, ensured she’d be safely away from slavery thanks to his father. Had gotten Cleigg to promise to free her.

He hadn’t expected her to marry him but that was what had happened and Tatooine was dangerous. When Anakin had dreamed of danger…

Obi-Wan had never wanted her dead of all things.

He stared at his hands. “…His dream, vision…nightmare doesn’t make sense.” He whispered. “I want to be in the temple when my baby comes. There is no need for a droid then unless we suddenly return to war with the truce being broken by the CSI, something I doubt since its been calmer then in years these last months and Padme has told me that four CSI worlds are considering returning because the peace has reminded them of…well peace, of not having to fight and be at war and having their supplies ravaged.” He sat back with a small sigh.

“Good news this is, support Dooku is losing.” Yoda hummed, watching him. “But danger I sense lurking. Danger not from Yan Dooku. A different place this danger lurks and the Sith master I believe this to be. Vigilant we must all be. Your death, your child’s death, great danger I sense in these words, related to Skywalker they are.”

“…You think he’s going to Fall.” Obi-Wan whispered, coldness curling in his belly that made his baby flutter at his distress.

“You gone, child gone…mating bond disrupted. Padme Amidala may hold him back but dangerous it will all be. But danger I sense in all of this. Vigilant we must BE.” Yoda repeated.

Obi-Wan looked away, small frown on his face.

Force, he hoped Anakin was being careful.


“Anakin my boy! I haven’t seen you much. Please, do sit, have tea with me.”

“Thank you Chancellor.”

anonymous asked:

I genuinely forgot it was spoiler day. I think I'm reaching freedom. This is a blatant lie. How much I enjoyed the angsty wall slam stuff is proof of that lol! But I don't have much in the way of opinion about the latest spoilers apart from Robert's such an idiot to still be scheming (not new lol) but at least he'll get scenes with Lucky & Gerry (!) rather than the baby mamma. I want to be exited about potential Rob V Lucky though. I've been waiting forever. Can you do your excited list plz Lo?

i can totally do an excited list anon oh my god

  • purely bc of the ryan quote in this article what kind of logical leap @ me, chill out 
  • LIKE
  • oooh god there’s so much other stuff too
  • MOIRA!!!! IS!!!! HAVING!!!!! A!!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • WITH CAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • F U N N Y 
  • T H A T
  • AND!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHAS IS COMING BACK SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • oh and emma’s gonna kill finn in a barn bye
Beautiful Creatures Sentence Meme
  • "I've been having the same dream for months now."
  • "I want him/her, no matter what happens."
  • "At first I thought I was losing my mind. Then I realized it would be no great loss."
  • "Insanity's inevitable."
  • "It was like love before first sight."
  • "Only two types of people here, the ones too stupid to leave and the ones too stuck to move."
  • "Anything is better than a life standing still."
  • "To be unstuck in time in a constant state of stage fright."
  • "If I dress like I care, I lose credibility."
  • "I envy people in comas."
  • "How does loving Jesus make that man/woman so crazy?"
  • "Why would anyone wanna move here?"
  • "How 'bout you and I go see a movie or something? Oh, that'd be just heaven!"
  • "I wish you would stop reading those types of books, they're bad for your mind."
  • "_____ looks like death eating a cracker."
  • "Are you nuts? You almost killed me!"
  • "You know I never understood why Leo had to die in the end! Why couldn't they take turns?"
  • "If I get in the car, will there be more of this interesting conversation? Because I'd rather drown."
  • "I can't believe you told me the ending to Titanic!"
  • "Well, that was a dead-end conversation on a road going nowhere."
  • "I don't feel like being a haunted house attraction today."
  • "Some people never go crazy, what truly horrible lives they must live."
  • "I think we need time apart."
  • "I pray every night you won't go straight to Hell."
  • "I won't go straight to Hell, I wanna stop off in New York first."
  • "This is one of those banned books."
  • "You can't pray in class."
  • "Never been on the outside looking in, have you?"
  • "I memorized this whole thing to impress you. Damn!"
  • "I never know whether you're insulting me or not."
  • "Again, wrong century."
  • "_____ loves Google."
  • "I hope this doesn't sound weird but I think I've been dreaming about you every night for months."
  • "That did not sound as creepy as it did in my head."
  • "So, like what, you're from Europe?"
  • "We prefer the term "Caster.""
  • "That is such a mortal thing to say."
  • "I hate hiding all the time."
  • "You're a miracle. Why would you ever want to be normal?"
  • "You wanna go out with me?"
  • "Wait, am I going out the window?"
  • "Promise me it'll be a really normal, awkward teenager date."
  • "I won't even call you after!"
  • "Let's get out of here."
  • "Most people spend their entire lives waiting for a moment that's going to change everything and it never comes."
  • "What could happen besides getting your first hangover?"
  • "They can choose, why can't you?"
  • "I don't know who I really am inside."
  • "I distinctly remember not inviting you."
  • "Boyfriend/girlfriend, huh?"
  • "Loving this boy/girl puts you in terrible danger!"
  • "You're not losing me!"
  • "No matter what you do, no matter they do to me, I'm still here! Now what does that tell you!"
  • "And I yelled at you because I care about you!"
  • "I don't want to be any further away from you than I am right now."
  • "I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you."
  • "Go ahead, kill me."
  • "The person I love has to die!"
  • "I just want to be with you."
  • "That's okay, I don't think you're cool now."
  • "How am I gonna survive a lifetime with you surprising me?"
  • "They took you from me."
  • "You can never be together."
  • "Define 'good.'"
The Night Sky

I’m still trying to figure out what the next chapter of the road trip is missing, but every time I stare at it I get more frustrated. I have no idea where it came from, and I have no idea where it went. But, the idea came to me, and I couldn’t shake it, so I wrote it. I hope you enjoy. 

word count: 4,985
Summary: Lucas moves to New York for his final year of high school, and he meets a certain brunette who woes him by being herself, then with a song. 

Lucas has made it through his first week at his new high school in a new city. He still didn’t understand why his parents refused to let him stay in Texas with Pappy Joe to finish his last year of high school. Lucas was doing well in Texas. He was managing a GPA of a 3.3, he was looking to be team captain of his school baseball team for the second year, he’s life was great—that was until his parents told him about his father’s job transfer that sent them all the way to the Big Apple.

It wasn’t so bad though he had made a few new friends.

Keep reading

Not Ready

Marinette is pregnant.  It was an accident, a late night at a club where she got drunk and went home with someone, but it’s still there.  She’s pregnant.  At least according to the seventeen pregnancy tests she took.  Alya’s away, and Hawkmoth seems to be on vacation, so she’s not able to talk to anyone until after she’s been to the doctor to confirm it.

She’s pregnant.

So she goes to patrol that night, the first patrol with Chat since she took the tests, and cries on him for a while.  She’s not getting an abortion–she’s pro-choice, but can’t do it herself–and she still has to talk to the father.

But Chat’s there.  He comforts her, says he’ll be there for her whether the father is or not.  He lets her cry on his shoulder for hours, and patrol never actually gets done.  They decide to meet up tomorrow night, even though it’s not a patrol night, so they can talk after Marinette talks to the father.

Which doesn’t go well.  Actually, that’s an understatement.  The father is furious at her for being pregnant, wants her to get an abortion, and wants nothing to do with the baby if she has it.

So Marinette leaves in tears, and skips her classes that afternoon and goes immediately to their patrol spot to just sit and cry for hours, waiting for Chat.

Chat left an hour early for patrol, barely having allowed himself to wait that long, and finds Ladybug already on the roof.  She tells him about how it went with the father and starts crying all over again.

“I’ll be it’s father.”


“A baby needs a father.  Mine was never around, and I know that’s messed me up.  So I can be this baby’s father.  I mean, if you want.”

“I…I’d like that.”

So they sit there for hours until Ladybug’s tears subside, holding onto each other.  When they decide it’s time to leave, Ladybug suggests they reveal their identities because “I am not going to the doctor as Ladybug, and I am not having Chat Noir take me there.”

So they reveal themselves, and are freaking happy that they are Adrien and Marinette, because that makes introducing themselves to their friends much easier.

The next morning, Adrien is sleep deprived and freaking out because he spent all night on the internet looking up everything about babies and pregnancy and “should I propose, Plagg?  Do you think she’ll expect me to?  What do babies eat?  Oh god, what if there’s more than one baby?”

(he’s also spent an insane amount of money on baby clothes and stuffed animals)

So when Nino calls to ask why he’s late for lunch, you really can’t blame him for blurting out:

“I’m not ready to be a father!”


“I’m not ready, Nino!  What if I’m as terrible a father as mine?  What if I kill it?  What if it hates me?  What if–”



“A father?”

“Yes!  I’m not ready!”

“…who did you get pregnant?”

(you also can’t blame him for hanging up and not going to lunch after all because Marinette didn’t want to tell anyone yet and he almost blew it with the first person he talked to)

They tell their friends a few weeks later, saying that Adrien and Marinette got drunk and hooked up one night, and no they’re not together but they’re both going to be in this baby’s life.

Alya and Nino are thrilled and decide that they are going to be godparents and Alya announces it on the Ladyblog (Marinette and Adrien laugh later about how relevant a post that really was).

The pregnancy goes well.  Adrien does not, in fact, propose, though he does discuss it with Marinette, who decides that maybe in the future, but only if they actually have a relationship together.  They get an apartment together, and Marinette has to hide Adrien’s credit cards because he’s a stress shopper and “we really don’t need six cribs.  You need to send some of them back.”

Ladybug disappears around sometime around the third month, Chat Noir fighting akumas on his own and bringing her the butterflies after for purification.  Chat Noir assures the public that Ladybug is safe and sound, and that she’s only disappeared because there will be a new little bug in a few months, and, no, he will not comment on whether or not this bug is also a kitten.

(Alya freaks out because “Marinette, your baby will be the same age as Ladybugs!  They’ll go to school together!”)

Adrien freaks out at every ultrasound, crying and squeezing Marinette’s hand.  He buys her whatever food she’s craving, and sometimes Chat Noir will be found begging at the door of a closing shop because “Ladybug needs pickles and chocolate fudge can you please stay open just another minute?” and because these stores will usually let Chat Noir in but not Adrien.

(Chat Noir also can’t go more than half a block without people giving him baby supplies.  Sometimes he has to refuse because “Ladybug would not be happy if I came home with a seventh crib.”)

(This leads to the rumours that Ladybug and Chat Noir are having sextuplets, which Marinette finds hilarious.)

(Adrien is just relieved that these rumours aren’t true because one baby is stressful enough and it hasn’t even come yet.)

It’s around five months when Chat Noir almost dies in an akuma attack.  Marinette watches on TV and begs Tikki to let her transform to help, but it would be too dangerous for the baby, so all she can do is watch and cry.  Chat stumbles in the window a while later, barely conscious and bleeding all over the floor.  Ladybug cleanses the akuma and it heals Chat, and they both release their transformations as Marinette throws herself at him, crying.

“I almost lost you.  You have to be more careful, Chat.  I can’t lose you.”

Neither of them notice, at first, that she kisses him.  It seems natural.  He almost died.  She was upset.  So of course she’d kiss him.

Of course, they do notice, and both make things awkward for a few hours before they decide that maybe they should try this for real.

The baby comes a few days early, and Adrien was at a shoot on the other side of Paris when he got the call from Nino.  It would take hours to get there, hours he doesn’t have because Marinette is in labour and he isn’t there and he is seriously stressing out.

So he ducks into an alley and transforms and races across the rooftops.

When he reaches the hospital, the nurses and patients in the waiting give him weird looks but he ignores them because he has to find Marinette.

He barges into Marinette’s room with a “Marinette!  I’m here!” and doesn’t know why everyone turns to stare.

Mr. and Mrs. Dupain-Cheng glance between their daughter and the man who barged in, squinting and trying to put the pieces together.

The nurse who had been checking on a machine drops her clipboard.

Nino narrows his eyes and closes the book he had been trying to distract himself with, rising in a defensive stance.

Alya takes a picture.

And Marinette?  Marinette bursts into hysterical laughter.

“You’re an idiot.”

“What?  I got here as fast as I could.  The shoot was on the other side of town.  I–”

“Adrien.  You’re in costume.”

He looks down at himself and groans because he knew he forgot something when he jumped off the roof.  He releases the transformation and goes to the bed, deciding to pretend like it never happened and asking Marinette how she’s doing.

“That means you’re Ladybug,” Alya says, not going along with Adrien’s plan to ignore his mistake.  “Right?  Because Chat Noir hasn’t said that Ladybug’s baby is his, but he also hasn’t been subtle about the baby being his.”

“Can we talk about this later?” Marinette groans out as a contraction hits.  “Preferably when I don’t have a baby trying to rip its way out of me.”

“Fine,” Alya agrees.  “As long as I get an exclusive about Chat Noir and Ladybug’s baby.”

Hugo Michel Dupain-Cheng-Agreste came into the world a few hours later, by which point all of Paris knew Ladybug and Chat Noir’s identities (becuase Chat Noir running through a hospital screaming for Marinette Dupain-Cheng was not very subtle, and it was common knowledge that Marinette was having a baby with supermodel Adrien Agreste, so Chat Noir’s own identity wasn’t a stretch) and the section of the hospital has to be cornered off to keep out the cameras and the fans.

Gabriel Agreste comes to see them later in the day, to visit his grandson.  He takes his son aside before he leaves, apologizing for being such a horrible father.

“I’ll be better to him, if you’ll let me be in his life.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

But Gabriel doesn’t answer, instead handing a small brown box to his son.

“I am so sorry.  I can’t do this anymore, not when it means hurting my family.  I hope you can forgive me, and that you’ll listen to my explanation one day, but I understand if you won’t.  You don’t have to worry about this anymore.”

And with that, Gabriel was gone, leaving Adrien alone and confused in the hallway of the hospital.  He looked down at the box again, it was so familiar but he couldn’t figure out why.  Slowly, he opened it.  Inside sat a purple butterfly broach.

It’s a few months later before Ladybug and Chat Noir make an appearance again, chasing each other across the rooftops and laughing, stopping in alcoves to kiss.

The papers the next morning feature this:  Ladybug with her arms around Chat’s neck, beaming as he kisses her cheek.  A green sling around Chat’s body, one of his arms holding it to his chest, the other around Ladybug’s waist.  And a baby, tucked in the sling, a little head with cat ears sticking out.

All of Paris turned up a year later to the long awaited wedding between Adrien Agreste and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.