so the past month or so i’ve been having this really scary issue where i’m unable to breathe. i have asthma, and i know how that feels, and this is different. it feels like what i’ve read a heart attack feels like, and it HURTS.
it’ll happen at least three times a day and there’s never anything to trigger it; it just happens. it’s worse when i’m not upright. my heart starts pounding really fast (i even got my parents to check my pulse, and they agreed that it felt like i’d just ran a marathon), and during this time it feels like there’s a Really heavy weight sitting on my chest, and i get really lightheaded and start losing sensation in my hands and feet. they’ll literally go numb. i also have to sit down bc my legs get weak.
sometimes i can’t move my body. the first time it happened i thought i was having a seizure because i was entirely rigid but kept twitching. but it always goes away? i’ve had this issue before, a few years ago, just not as bad. the doctors just brushed it off as stress then, and that’s what they’re doing now.
but it’s to the point now where i’m terrified im going to have a heart attack or something like that because it’s So Bad that i cannot function when it happens. i get tremors, intense pressure in my chest, shortness of breath, dizziness, and i’ve nearly fainted several times. my blood tests are coming back normal, i’m not deficient in anything– they’re only doing basic tests though and won’t do anything more extensive because apparently i’m just stressed and there’s nothing wrong!
my coworker has hypothyroidism (so does my mom; its when your thyroid doesn’t work enough) and suggested that i may have hyperthyroidism (which is when your thyroid is overactive); these are all symptoms of that, apparently, and i’m also unable to gain weight no matter now much i eat. i just keep losing it. thyroid problems run in my family (my mom, and multiple aunts), but again, the doctors won’t send me to a specialist because they don’t think it’s a real problem. (news flash it’s interrupting my day to day life– it’s a fucking problem)
i’m so scared and i have no idea what to do anymore because ER doctors won’t take me seriously, my doctor won’t, i’ve talked to a few nurses too and none of them think it’s an issue. they think i just need to do breathing exercises to calm down– which i try to but it’s literally impossible to do breathing exercises WHEN YOU CANNOT BREATHE. they also suggest using my inhaler regularly. i’m not stupid. i do that. i have 2 of them and i use one every morning and night like i’m supposed to, and the other ever few hours as needed. they help, but only barely.
i have a severe anxiety disorder and asthma and they always seem to relate it back to that, but i’m familiar with the feeling of both of those and what i’m experiencing now is Not Either Of Them. i don’t know what to think and it’s terrifying because it feels like it’s getting worse and my family and coworkers think it’s serious but doctors won’t listen to me.
sometimes, when i check the blogs of my followers, i don’t get why some of you are following me. like we have nothing in common and yet, you’re still following me that silly blog of mine……… congrats on you, pals, really.
who should be cheerleader in the high school? (make with all ggroups you want)
A/N: This was an interesting idea and i wasn’t sure how to do it but i hope it came out okay.In England (where I’m from) we don’t have school cheer squads lol.
Hyejeong(AOA) - Captain of the squad, can’t upstage her cause she knows exactly what she’s doing
Cheng Xiao (WJSN) - Does all the tumbling, pro at everything, basically Hyejeong’s prodigy
Momo & Mina(Twice) - Basically their own team within the squad and do everything together
Lisa(Blackpink) - Coolest squad member that everyone wants to be friends with
Yooa(Oh my girl) - cutest member, enjoys everything, gives up her own time to help less experienced members
Sinb(Gfriend) - isn’t realy sure why she’s in the squad but still shows up and slays, also the memest member and makes everyone laugh
Hyoyeon(SNSD) - Oldest squad member who teaches the young ones everything, will probably have to leave soon due to graduating
Jungwha(EXID) - Hardly shows up but when she does she delivers
Seulgi(Red velvet) - went to cheer tryouts without preparing, is not sure how she got in, is still not sure how hyejeong hasnt kicked her out
Yein(Lovelyz) - Youngest and newest squad member, baby cheerleader
I basically chose who i think are the strongest dancers and Hyejeong who used to be a cheerleader when she was younger. A lot of them have done special stages/dance shows or performances/ISAC rhythmic performances that show off their skill and i think they would be a well put together squad. Cheerleaders should have strength (Leg and upper body strength that is) and i reckon these girls would be perfect!!!
Let me know who you think should be on a cheer squad!!!
Omg okay I'll keep it on 😂 now that I think about it, I don't think I've actually ever read the lyrics for it 🤔 not sure if I should now lmao but I cannot watch any fan cams because I just cringe and hide behind my hands 😱 like yes it is a good song but the dance is so EXTRA bap pls - shower/stairs anon (omg I should just come off anon lol you actually know me)
Whaaat? How have you not read the lyrics? You will truly die but honestly even though it’s a sensual song the lyrics are actually really thoughtful, like I really love how BAP aren’t nasty or demeaning towards women with their lyrics <3 but if you haven’t read the lyrics yet I suggest you do because you’re missing out on quality content such as:
“We just ride tonight” (yall know which kinda ridin Yongguk’s talkin about 👅)
“I love everything about you, even your smallest trembles” (Himchan makin all the girlhoods tremble if you get this reference ily)
“I make you love me, if I have you, all day” (Yongguk’s a freak bYE)
“In a place I couldn’t reach, now it comes closer, I can’t stop now, say my name even more” (THIS IS JONGUP’S 1 FUCKIN LINE BUT GADDDAMMMMNNNN
👅 THEN THEY DO THE CROTCHY DANCE AND THEN THENNNN DAEHYUN RELEASES THE KRAKEN AKA THAT ORGASM SCREAM THAT MAKES ALL THE BITCHES BUST A NUT BYEEEEEEE)
Also same, I legit already have a hard time watching fancams of all their songs because I cry since I couldn’t see them live myself, but Body&Soul is just one that makes me giggle like it’s sooo ridiculous how that’s the only fancam I’ve watched 😂
Also omg??? Fam what are you doin lol come off anon