And I tried. I tried to be beautiful in a way that caught you off guard. I tried to be smart without having to use a calculator. I tried to be funny without having to think of some stupid joke to say. I tried to be sexually experienced for you. I tried to have all my shit together. I tried to figure what I wanted in life. I tried everything just so you could look at me the way I look at you. I tried to be something that wasn’t me and even when I tried all theses things it still wasn’t enough to make you look at me. It still wasn’t enough to make you want me. It still wasn’t enough to make you love me. Never again will I ever be something other than myself for a guy. Never again will I betray the body I was given. The home that I hated for so many years and treated like shit. Never again will I put a mans needs before me because really men ain’t shit. They do not home a person for 9 months just to go through extraordinary measures to bring that tiny human into the world safely. They do not bleed for a week and have extreme pain just because they aren’t pregnant. Women do not open their hearts and hips and birth a child when it feels like every bone in their body breaking and more just so a man can decide if she’s the one he wants for the week. My point is, do not ever settle for a man that does not see you as magic and more. Women are not ordinary. We did not give birth to civilization just so we could be treated like shit.
— You not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself. // love, heartbreak & everything in between.// deeply feeling series