I have a birthday party to go to

Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best friends in middle school. Ugh, I know right? It’s soooo embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then in eigth grade I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana and Janis was like weirdly jealous of him. Like if I would blow her off to hang out with Kyle, she’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?!” And I’d be like, “Uhh, why are you so obsessed with me?” So then for my birthday party which was an all girls pool party. I was like, “Janis, I can’t invite you because I think you’re a lesbian.” I mean, I couldn’t have a lesbian at my party! There were going to be girls there in their bathing suits! I mean right? She was a lesbian! So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her and it was so retarded and then she dropped out of school because no one would talk to her and she came back in the fall for high school and her hair was all cut off and she was totally weird and now I guess she’s on crack.

Today I got asked

At work one of my co-workers wished me a happy belated birthday before they asked how old I was. When they found out I was 29 they asked the typical question I face so often, “When are you going to get married?”

Do they not realize that a marriage consist of a party of 2! First of all I’d have to actually date some one to get married and second of all why would I want to get married if any of their marital lives are an example of that life style. Thirdly I’m satisfied being on my own anyway. This is not to say that there is no possibility of a relationship in the future but as of now that is something I’m not anticipating. If it happens it happens.There’s no adult age requirement for being married.

I’m quite content being alone and yes I am human. Now and then I feel the urge to be partnered up and sometimes I feel crushing loneliness (especially after listening to songs like Katy Perry’s “Not Like The Movies”) but those feelings fade away and I remember how good I currently have it being alone. I’m kind  of selfish by nature sometimes and I want my “ME” time so being alone means I have all the “ME” time in the world.

12 Tips To Improve Grades And Organization

Written by natuhrist | Edited by merhcy | Saturday August 8, 2015

School, for some, can be the worst period of their lives. Testing, teachers, friends, boyfriends - and sometimes people we wish we had never known can be thanked for that. But here I have whipped up a quick list of ways that have helped me with my organizational study throughout my school years.
If you want better results and better organization, these may be the solution to your problem.

Keep reading

Today, I fucked up... by cleaning my son's room

I was cleaning my 6y.o. son’s room, and doing my annual purge of crap he’s managed to hoard. I have this big pile of stuff to throw out in the living room, when he comes in, pulls some stupid paper butterfly out of the trash pile and tells me I can’t throw this away because it was a present.

He goes to a lot of birthday parties and gets a lot of goodie bags with this sort of thing, so I tell him it’s junk and it’s going in the trash. Besides, it’s all bent up and I tell him (like a douche-dad) that if he values things he should take care of them.

He leaves, and some 5 minutes later he returns, visibly distraught (he’s clearly been thinking hard about this). He says “It was a present…for you.”

“For father’s day.”

I swear at that moment I heard every angel in heaven slow clapping.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

hogwarts house girl gangs (x)

slytherin; they loan out their makeup, show up to every game in support of each other, force each other to study furiously for exams. they fuss a lot about whose stuff goes where, and teach each other neat tricks with their hair or useful charms.they stay in their dorms during every other hogsmeade trip to throw tiny parties, ungodly amount of inside jokes

hufflepuff; they buy each other surprise sweets from honeydukes, put supportive notes in each others bags and textbooks like ‘dont forget to smile’ and ‘youll do great today’. they throw really big celebrations for birthdays and will spend an entire night studying if one of them isnt getting a subject well enough. they give each other flowers and cute little ‘it reminded me of you’ gifts.

gryffindor; they cover for each other constantly and have such a  ‘i am spartacus’ thing going, braid each others hair and do each others make up almost every morning, sleep in each others bed sometimes, share clothes religiously, constant compliments and teasing, piggy back rides in the halls

ravenclaw; they loan out the same book and all add little sticky notes with their reaction to a part for the next reader, when study sessions get dull they start singing songs together in silly voices, lots of hugging and hand holding, they have a really healthy competition going, use pet names a lot

I met a girl for a date who turned out to be much better looking than her photos which is always a nice surprise. The date went well, just dinner and a walk, and we said our goodbyes. The next day she invited me out to a friend’s birthday party downtown as her +1. I wanted to go but I had to work the next day and wanted to be able to drink a little since it was a bunch of people I didn’t know. She said “That’s alright, you can park at my house and sleep over.”(Cha-ching!) So, of course, I said yes.

Fast forward to the middle of the party, I’m enjoying myself chatting it up with her friends and having a good time and next thing I know she absolutely loses it and storms out of the bar leaving me there. Drunk. With her friends. I still have no idea why.

One of them told me “She wants you to go after her!” and I said “Fuck that, it’s our second date.” which not a single person blamed me for. I stayed at the party and switched to water while I continued talking with her friends. That was over a year ago, and I still regularly hang out with them. They have since stopped talking to her.


it’s akaashi’s birthday i’m so happy IT’S AKAASHI’S BIRTHDAY I’M SO HAPPY I HOPE HE IS HAPPY TOO happy birthday happy happy birthday!!!!!!

payback for bokuto’s birthday plus a bonus picture for a bonus smile :)

College Confession #20

I was walking around in the middle of the night with some friends (completely sober at that point) and met an Australian guy who demanded we all find a party to go to.  After 5 minutes my friends and I just wanted to go home so the drunk guy hugged us all goodbye and as he was hugging me, I said, in a jokingly way “your jacket is soft and looks warm, can I have it?”  Without missing a beat he took it off and gave it to me even when I insisted I was kidding. 

A few weeks later I had a huge birthday party with a couple hundred people and he showed up randomly and realized who I was, asked for his jacket back because he didn’t have another one. However, he got really drunk again and forgot his jacket.

I never saw him again so I sold the jacket a few months on and made £20.

The University of Kent

[!] I’m going to upload BTS VLIVE+ episodes for you guys!

So, I’m a bit mad of how we’ll end up watching our boys ‘s trip to North Europe only through vlive+ AND ONLY IF WE HAVE COINS!

Well , I luckily had 200 coins because I’m in Level 2, and together with my fellow ARMY friend, we both purchased all the 8 EPISODES OF BTS BON VOYAGE (each of us 4 episodes) and we are going to hopefully download them though I’m not sure about the quality and subs yet :C and upload them on Dailymotion (acc link will be added) . 

Not only that, But also another ARMY friend of mine purchased BTS BDAY PARTY and she’ll download it as well~~ we’ll upload them all in one Channel ! 

so please guys! don’t be sad! we’re giving you hope now~~ tho i know many will download them for the sake of those who can’t watch :’) ! please share and reblog~~ spread the word^u^)/

ah! and I don’t even care if some will get mad over this, i got my coins for free so i can do whatever i want :’))! also becoz again , i’m pissed off of all this vlive+ new feature….it’s just…stop… taking fans’ money gdi ><


“Your friendships shrink as you get older—unless you have a loose definition of friendship. I used to work with one of the richest guys in Philadelphia. He was seventy years old. He could have dinner with anybody in the city. But those aren’t the types of friends I’m talking about. I mean the people who really know you. I think it’s amplified for me because I’m still single. My friends have gotten married and had kids. They have less and less time to give. More and more people have come into their lives. But the amount of people in my life has stayed the same. I’ll text them to see if they want to go to a Phillies game. And I always get an immediate ‘yes.’ But something always comes up right before the game. They have to reschedule because ‘Ethan’s friend is having a birthday party,’ or ‘Sarah has a soccer game.’ It’s hard to not feel left out. I used to see these guys several times a week. Now it’s five or six times per year.”

Today, I fucked up... by accidentally water boarding myself

So this fuck-up took place last week, at my nephew’s 6th birthday party. We were having this party at my parents house by the lake, and we have this floating divingboard thing like 10-15 meters out from the ‘beach’. So people were swimming, diving, generally just having a blast. My nephew’s favorite thing is Spiderman, he fucking loves Spiderman. So I dressed up in a Spiderman-looking morphsuit. You know the green tight suit 'hilarious’ guys wear, yeah, that kind. So I suited up, and after a while I decided to go swimming in said suit. I swam out to the floating divingboard, climbed up and got ready to jump. Dived into the lake, swam 3-4meters underwater, then resurfaced. When I came up for air, I quickly realized that the morph suit drastically looses its ability to let air through the breathing points when it gets wet. The thing is, the morph suit is really hard to take of, it unzips at the back of your head, which is a tricky spot to reach when you’re basically drowning. So I tried to remove it by taking my hands behind my head, which resulted in me sinking into the water. I repeated this process of going up trying to breathe, and sinking from trying to take of the morph suit. Eventually I had to be rescued by my older brother. TLDR: Dived into a lake with a morphsuit on, couldn’t breathe, had to be rescued by my older brother.

I have this not-so-lowkey desire for Plagg to slowly develop this sort of weird in-his-own-mind rivalry with Gabriel over Adrien. 

Gabriel says no birthday party? WHO CARES IF AN AKUMA THREW IT, WE’RE GOING. Gabriel-approved schedule says it’s bedtime? LEMME SCARF THIS CHEESE NOW LEGGO CLAWS OUT WE’RE LAPPING PARIS TWICE TONIGHT. Gabriel is just in general the neglectful worst? SIT STILL AND LET ME GROOM YOU KID SHUT UP I’M NOT PURRING YOU’RE PURRING fine maybe we’re both purring. 

Basically, Plagg aggressively adopting his chosen as HIS KITTEN DAMMIT and vengefully leaving dead mice in Gabriel’s designer shoes. >> 

We need your help!
As you all may or may not know, we have another younger brother named Sherose. Next month on May 22nd he’ll be turning 18. Sherose may be turning into an official adult, but he will always be a child at heart and mind. Sherose was diagnosed with Autism when he was around the age of 3, however as a family we have never let him feel he was different from others while growing up. Although we have tried our best to give Sherose the most normal lifestyle, we know that Sherose does not have many friends nor has he gotten some opportunities to be social or have close friends like other teenagers. He doesn’t get invited to birthday parties, he doesn’t go out to play sports, basic things that every teenager does. Every birthday, we spend it together as a family, but I wanted something different for Sherose on his 18th birthday.
 Anyone whom has gotten the chance to meet Sherose will know that it is his friendliness and his excitement to meet others is what stands out. He loves to talk to people, he likes to make new friends. Since he was very young, he has had an obsession with receiving items in the mail, with something addressed to him. Even if is simple junk mail, or something I have bought for him online, his eyes will light up when he sees his name on the envelope. He waits for the mailman and personally gets the mail every day. Soha and I want to reach out to our friends, acquaintances and the community. To see if you could write a letter or send a birthday card for Sherose’s birthday. A small “Happy Birthday” letter or card which can take 5 minutes of your time, will mean the WORLD to him. Some of the things that Sherose loves include: Transformers, Disney movies (He is a fanatic about movies), Marvel and etc. If you would like to send Sherose something, the address is below. I will hold all letters and cards until May 22nd and give them to him on his Birthday.
P.O. Box 5037
Springfield, VA 22150
If you can, please share this post!

If you leave in such a place where sending a letter or a post card is not possible or is difficult, I have made an email account for Sherose that I will print out messages from and add them to his collection of cards. It is:


If you come to my birthday party and start talking about “entropy” and “the inevitable heat death of the universe” I’m going to politely ask you to leave because I have a firm grasp of these concepts and have had it since my first (1st) existential crisis at the age of 11. No need to bring it up again.

Some Brooklyn Nine Nine Episode Ideas

-Jake and Amy bring back The Bet in order to decide whose apartment they’ll be moving into.

-Charles and Gina go on a family vacation with their parents.

-Jake meets all of Amy’s brothers and tries to befriend them.

-Holt invites Jake and Amy over for dinner. When they arrive they’re surprised to see they were the only ones invited, and the spend the evening freaking out that they’re basically on a double date with Holt and Kevin.

-Charles and Jake babysit Terry’s kids.

-Jake throws Amy a birthday party, but of course it does not go according to plan.

-Terry, Jake, Charles, and Holt for AC/DC 2.

-Charles, and Amy work a case together. It goes really well. They come back with tons of inside jokes, and Jake is worried he’s being replaced as Charles’s best friend.

-Amy uses the word ‘dope.’ Jake immediately says ‘I love you.’

anyone have any to add…