I have a birthday party to go to

Hamilton As Things My Girlfriend Has Said
  • Alexander : "You know, come to think of it, coffee is the most pleasurable thing."
  • *I give her an odd look*
  • "Well I love you but coffee helps me stay up till horrible hours to finish my work."
  • --
  • John : "You look hot today. No homo." *Finger guns*
  • "Babe we're dating."
  • --
  • Hercules : "See all my clothes are 100% made by me and my hands. I poured my blood sweat and tears into this - "
  • "It says made in China."
  • "Maybe I made it in China?!"
  • --
  • Lafayette : "Some days when I'm mad at you I want to only speak in another language bug the problem is I only know English and not even very well."
  • --
  • Aaron : "Normally I'm a calm individual but see, Abigail makes me want to drop kick her into a well filled with sharks."
  • "Is...is she not your best friend?"
  • "She is."
  • --
  • Angelica : "See whenever people doubt me I laugh because I'm better than every person in the world and they're just jealous of my feminism strength."
  • --
  • Eliza : "Sometimes I wonder what would happen if you cheated on me."
  • "Well I never would."
  • "No I know. But if you did I'd probably burn everything you love and go Carrie Underwood on you."
  • --
  • Peggy : "How is it my mom forgot to invite me to my own birthday party?!"
  • --
  • Thomas : "See macaroni and cheese is a gift from God. Like he loves it too. Cause who wouldn't?"
  • "Aren't you an atheist?"
  • "A GIFT FROM GOD AJ!"
  • --
  • James : "I swear I've been sick my whole life. Death is trying so hard to get me but they will fail! *coughs for a good five minutes* Fuck off death..."
  • --
  • George : "Why do I have to adopt all the worst fuckers?"
  • "You don't have to - "
  • "No I love them and they are my fucker children."
  • --
  • Maria : "I'm a sexy son a bitch who needs to learn how to make better life choices..."
House Rules (M)

Originally posted by nnochu

Summary: Frustration over recent political changes sets you off, and your loving husband helps you see the error of your ways.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 7,492

Warning: Dom!Yoongi, husband/wife relationship, teasing, punishment, edging, ass play, dirty talk, political themes

A/N: I could probably add more warnings. Rest assured, this is not vanilla. Enjoy!

Keep reading

It’s exam week and I am tired. Instead of coherent content, please enjoy this list of random dialogue that I currently have no context for:



Damian listened thoughtfully until Tim got to the end. “So basically we need your help. Any questions?”

“Yes,” Damian decided, after a few seconds of silence.

“Shoot.”

“When did I give you the impression that I cared?”

“Oh come on.”

“What was my mistake?”

“We’re on a timeline here.”

“No, really,” Damian asked, raising his hands in an exaggerated gesture of confusion. “Where did I go wrong?”


“I’m confused,” Duke told him. “Red Hood Jason or Trophy Case Jason?”

For some reason, Tim didn’t seem to understand the question. He pointed across the cave, to where Hood was sorting through medical supplies. “Jason.”

“So not the Robin that died.”

Tim pointed again, slower this time. “Jason.”

“That’s… the same person?”

“Yeah.”

“He didn’t actually die?”

“Oh boy,” said Tim, biting at his lip. “No, he was definitely dead.”

Was?”

“Short-term. You really didn’t know?”

“It’s not an uncommon name?” Duke could hear the panic in his own voice, but he didn’t feel inclined to check it. “Why would I assume that one person… came back from the dead?? Instead of assuming there are two people named Jason?”

“Oh boy,” Tim repeated. He turned to Damian, who Duke suddenly noticed was smiling in a very unsettling sort of way. “You didn’t tell him?”

Damian shook his head. The smile became downright maniacal. 

Tell me what??”


“It’s a family meeting,” Dick told him. “You have to stay.”

Jason collapsed back into his armchair, glaring. “You know sometimes I think I never actually came back to life? I just died and went to hell.” He crossed his arms. “Because honestly? This could be hell.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

Jason threw him a look that clearly communicated ‘when hell freezes over’ in the most dramatic way possible, or at least that was the goal.

Dick turned away, rolling his eyes. He seemed to get the message. There, Jason thought. Nailed it. He felt better.


“What’s the holdup?” Tim asked, settling onto the couch next to Cass. “Something wrong?”

Dick shrugged. “Bruce says he has an announcement.”

“We have a new sibling?” Tim guessed.

“What? No.” Dick frowned, probably running the odds just to be sure. “Not that I’m aware of, anyway.”

“You had to think about it,” Tim noted, and then turned to face the door as Bruce finally made his entrance.

“I have an announcement.”

“We have a new sibling?”

“What?” Bruce asked. “No.” His eyes flicked upward for half a second, and then he continued, decisive. “No, you don’t.”

“See?” Tim asked. “He had to think about it.”


“I thought you were against this plan,” Duke said.

Damian nodded. “I am, but Todd and I reached an agreement.”

“Yeah?”

“Simple bet,” Damian confirmed. “If it works, I have to go to Drake’s birthday party, but if Todd dies again, I get to put ‘Damian told him so’ on his new headstone.”

“Oh,” Duke told him. “That sounds… fair.”

Damian leaned back against the wall, smirking. “I like my chances.”

[scene break]

At that point, Duke became pretty sure that the plan wasn’t going to work. He looked from Jason, up on the rooftop, to Damian, who was calmly punching numbers into his phone. “Uh. Shouldn’t we go help him?”

Damian raised a finger in a give-me-a-second kind of gesture while he put his phone to his ear. “Hello, Elliot Funeral Home? How much do you charge for gravestones? Midrange. I see. Very reasonable.”

“Damian!”

“Fine,” Damian sighed. “Thank you,” he told his phone. “I’ll be in touch.”


Keep reading

Mother of (No) Mercy

So it’s my second time DMing ever and my 8 year old cousin wanted to have a D&D themed birthday party. I’m familiar with 3.5 so I’m glad to do it. So him and his brothers, the oldest of which is 14, and his parents, both in their forties, all play.

I make up an original Island Adventure scenario that’s basically a fetch mission for a magical item they can trade the locals for a boat to go home in.

So they were deep into the jungle of the island and hadn’t fought anything too damaging. But then I set them up against a Giant Constrictor that started to give them a run for their money. They had it down to less than half health when the monk (the 8 year old’s character) was knocked unconscious.

Me: And the Snake manages to grab a tight hold of Gantea. Thora (the mother’s fighter) is up next.

Fighter OOC: Can I shout a battle cry before I hit it with my warhammer?

Me: Sure, that’s a free action to me.

Fighter: RULES OF NATURE!

*Nat 20*

Table cheers.

Me: Ok, roll to confirm the crit.

*Nat 20 True Critical*

Table goes ballistic.

Me, in disbelief: So with the maternal savagery of a mother bear defending her young, you hit this snake so hard not only is its head taken off, but its entire skeleton is knocked clean from the skin. Gantea is no longer being constricted.

Fighter to Monk OOC: Remember this next time I tell you to clean your room.

?: EID MUBARAK ELIAS

ELIAS: Hey?

?): I need some help. I’m doing research for Sana’s Eid party.

?: What is Eid?

?: Is it Muhammad’s birthday?

?: The interney says it’s a bit like Christmas

ELIAS: maybe

EKLIAS: It’s not Muhammad’s birthday

?: When is His birthday then

?: Do I meet up at Maghrib or Iftaar? Should I bring snacks and gifts? Should I wear flats? A folk costume? Necklaces? Will there be dancing? Should I contribute with songs to a Spotify playlist? Are there Eid stores?

ELIAS: just go down to grønland and ask for a standard Eid package

ELIAS: and remember when you pay in the store, you have to put in your code backwards because arabic countries read from the right

?: Eid package here I come

shiv

///


November 14th.
In the coffee shop,
the man in the
Make America Great Again hat
smiles at me, so I take this
as an invitation.


“Pardon me, but I have to ask—
do you think Trump’s
ideologies keep every person
in this country safe?“


He doesn’t hesitate.


“Ma’am, I can’t get wrapped up
in identity politics, all I can
worry about is how
I’m going to feed my girls.”


///


At my 40th birthday party,
an acquaintance asks
why we have “so much
Mexican art in the house.”

“It might be because I’m Mexican,” I say.

“No,” he laughs, “you’re not Mexican.”

“Yes. I am.”

“No,” he continues, reassuringly,
“and if you are, you’re only, maybe, 17%.“

The winter air stiffens between us.
An old, familiar pain.


///


There was a time when I
would have thanked him.


The early years,
when I wanted only to pass,
to rid myself of my last name—
the dead giveaway,
its muddy lineage


crawl out from the burying shame
that held me down every time
my father picked me up
from school in our shitty car,
his bushy mustache
& brown face
magnified by the sun.


///


A local white woman
posts a photo of her new tattoo:
a Mayan god etched eternal
on her flesh. When I point out
the disrespect, she assures me
she speaks Spanish fluently,
spent three years
in South America.


For the next six hours,
I argue with her friends.
They demand I quit being so
divisive. Judgemental. Close-minded.


“We have a racist running for President,
and you’re complaining about a tattoo?”
asks the white boy, who spray paints
murals all over this city
with impunity.


O, to be permitted the luxury
of only worrying about one thing at a time.


O, to be white in America,
to wake up knowing every god is your god.


///


When you never see yourself,
you search for yourself all the time.


You know the white girl
in the sombrero isn’t you.
The bro dude in Calavera makeup
isn’t either, not the ponchos
and glued on mustaches,
not the lowrider Chevy
in the Disney movie
or the hoochie-coochie
sex pot on the Emmy
award-winning television show.


Maybe you are only this:


the scorched bird pulled
from the chimney,
covered in soot.
Not the actual bird,
its velvet sack
of jigsaw’d bones,
but the feeling
of recognition.


The ash of knowing.


///


A white comedian tells this joke:
“I used to date Hispanics,
but now I prefer consensual.”


The audience laughs.
And you do, too.
Until the punchline hardens,
translates into a stone
in your throat.


You swallow it, like you always do.


You don’t change the channel,
but you also can’t remember
a single joke she tells after that.


A few months later, the comedian’s career
blows up. She’s so real. So edgy.
Such a hardcore feminist.
When someone writes an essay on
her old stand-up routines—
noting her blindspot when it comes to race,


her response is:


“It is a joke and it is funny.
I know that because people laugh at it.”


///


If two Mexicans are in a car, who is driving?
A police officer.


How do you starve a Mexican?
Put their food stamps in their work boots.


What’s the difference between a Mexican and an elevator?
One can raise a child.


What do you call a Mexican baptism?
Bean dip


How do you stop a Mexican from robbing your house?
Put a help wanted sign in the window.


What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?
Grand theft auto


What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed


What do you call a building full of Mexicans?
Jail


How do you keep Mexicans from stealing?
Put everything of value on the top shelf.


What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running downhill?
A mudslide.


Why don’t Mexicans play Hide ’n Seek?
No one will look for them.


What does a Mexican get for Christmas?
Your TV.


What do you call the Arizona man shot to death
by his white neighbor, screaming, “Go back to Mexico!”
Juan Varela


///


November 29th.
For weeks, I’ve avoided
eye contact with strangers.
My face is a closed curtain.
My mouth, the most
decorated knife.
I pay for groceries,
grab the receipt &
let my half-hearted
thank yous trail like smoke.
I no longer want to see
who refuses to see me.


Anyone is everyone.


///


December 1st.
I keep waking up.
There isn’t anyone
white enough to stop me.


Pantomime the living until
the body remembers:
wicked bitch. Bloodwhirl.
Patron Saint of the Grab Back.


Still. Still. Still. Still. Still. Still here.


///


I etch my own face upon my wicked flesh.
I am my own devastating god.

 


Rachel McKibbens, Dec. 2016

SKAMS04E08 Clip 1 - Miss you

[SANA: Hi. There’s something I have to tell you.

Hi. What are you doing today? Can we meet up?

CHRIS: I’m hungover af

VILDE: Magnus and I are talking.

NOORA: How are you doing Vilde?

VILDE: He thinks I’ve cheated on him with Elias.

EVA: We’re gonna kill those who made the hate account. Sana: I’m also hungover af and dad is visiting from Bergen to celebrate my 18th birthday. Yippee!

No Yippee.

Plus fml.

CHRIS: Eva!! Mom said it’s okay for us to celebrate your 18th birthday at my place on Friday!!

EVA: SHE DID?? Fucking hell!!

CHRIS: She asked why you couldn’t have it at your place, and I was like… ehhh.. they’re renovating. After the last party.

EVA: Hahahaha!! Awesome!! Who are we going to invite??

[Elias watching Youtube video of the boys]

SANA: Hi.

ELIAS: Talking to me?

SANA: Sorry for being mad.

ELIAS: So you’re not mad anymore? That’s good. I thought you were going to be mad for the rest of your life.

[YOUSEF: Okay, are you ready?]

SANA: Why aren’t you friends with Even anymore?

ELIAS: No, the guy doesn’t want to be with us anymore, so we can’t make him.

SANA: So it’s not because he.. tried to kiss Mikael? Because I heard Mikael freaked out.

ELIAS: That’s not why. It’s.. A lot happened. The guy just started doing a lot of random stuff. Then he tried kissing Mikael, among other things. And we tried to get him to chill, but it didn’t work. Then he dropped out of school and I talked to Sonja and she told me he was depressed. And when she told us we tried to call him and text him a lot, but.. So it’s his deal if he doesn’t wanna hang out with us.

SANA: You know he’s dating Isak? I think he misses you.. Because he asked about you the other day.

ELIAS: He did? Tell him hi, then. Hey. You know Yousef?

SANA: Just forget about it. I’m over him.

Not So Picture Perfect || Kian Lawley Imagine (Requested)

“Literally all I want to do is go home. I really don’t want to be here,” I told Callie as I worked on the gym elliptical.

“What, why? You love the gym. What’s wrong?”

“Kian flies out with Jc and Dom today for the second half of the tour and won’t be back for 3 weeks.”

“Okay, I know you love him, but it’s only 3 ½ weeks. They will fly by, especially with Maya’s birthday party and Ricky’s “I Hit One Million” Bash.”

Even though I hate to admit it, she was right. It’s just 3 lousy weeks and with the technology we have today, it will be like he never left. 

“Fuck, you’re right. Did you know I hate that about you?”

“Yeah and I love you too, beyotch. Call me later, okay?”

“Alright, bye.”

I finished my 90 minute workout and headed home to see Kian for the last few hours. I grabbed my gym bag and unlocked the door to see Kian’s suitcases against the wall. I let out a sigh and called out to him.

“I’ll be there in a sec!” he yelled back. When he came into my view, I saw that he was on the phone.

“Yeah, Dude. I’ll be there in about an hour. Okay. Bye”

I gave him a confused look,”I thought your flight was at 10 tonight.”

“It was, but there was a screw up with the airline and our flight is 4:40 now.” I looked at the clock behind him and it read 1:27 pm.

“So that means you have to leave now,” I said defeated.

“Yeah, I’m sorry Baby.”

“No it’s fine, it’s not your fault. Did you need me to drive you?”

“I don’t need you to, but I definitely want you to,” he said as he embraced me. 

I helped him load his bags into the car and hopped in. I couldn’t help but think that i wouldn’t have moments like this for 3 fucking weeks. I hated it, but Kian loves his fans and would do anything for them. I would never stand between that.

After what seemed like the shortest ride in history, we pulled up to his terminal. Jc and Dom were already out there waiting for us and I helped unload Kian’s things. We stood there for what felt like forever, just holding each other.

“Ugh, ew! Come on already, Vitaly’s inside!” JC whined beside us. Kian and I decided to gross him out even more and started tongue battling each other.

“God! Didn’t you guys do enough of that before he left?!” asked Dom.

“We actually didn’t,” I said to Kian, looking kind of amused. 

“Well this is going to be one uncomfortable flight,” he joked.

“Speaking of flight, we gotta catch ours!” JC said.

“Fuuuck, I don’t want you to leave.”

“I know, but I’ll be back soon, okay.”

“Okay, have fun.”

“I will, I’ll call you when we land,” he said running into the airport.

“I’ll be waiting,” I said to myself.

When I arrived back to our place I was finally able to take a well needed shower. When I was done, I ordered food off of Postmates and caught up on ‘Are You The One?’ I really hated being here without Kian, but I had to remind myself that I did it during the first half and was (somewhat) fine.

My phone started to ring and I got excited when I saw that it was Kian calling.

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Baby. How are you?”

“Lonely. How was the flight?”

“Pretty good. Some kid threw up though, which made Dom almost throw up.”

“Ew, but kinda awesome, haha.” Our conversation didn’t last long due to the fact that he had a long day tomorrow and it was late where he was.

I decided that it was time for me to go to bed as well and try to not be so bleh.

The next few days were getting easier and easier. Almost two weeks have already passed and Maya’s birthday party was a great distraction. I hear from Kian every night and every night I miss him more. Tonight is Ricky’s bash and I’m really excited. I took me like 4 hours to get ready, but I was almost done. I was applying the last bit of makeup when my phone buzzed. 

I heard Callie come in and we naturally had to capture this moment. 

That night was complete blast. I can’t stress how proud I am of Ricky T for reaching over one million youtube subscribers. Callie and I finally got back to my place and I was about to take a shower when my phone started to ring.

“Hey, I saw your Snap. You look beautiful, how was the party?”

“It was really fun, but tiring. How’s the tour going?”

“It’s good! The fans are amazing, the closer I get to coming home, the more anxious I get to be with you.”

“*Sigh* I can’t wait for you to come back.”

“I know me either, but I’ll let you get some rest and I’ll do the same. Sweet dreams, Babe.”

“You too, Kian. Good night.”

The next few days were quite boring, but Kian comes home in a little over a week and I’m so happy! I had been trying to reach him for the last few hours now, but he wasn’t picking up. I finally gave up on him and tried calling JC, but it was too loud to hold a conversation. My last resort was Vitaly who evidently was asleep and didn’t know anything.

I realized that this was the first night Kian hadn’t called me and I got a sort of uneasy feeling in my stomach. I quickly shook it off and decided to go to bed. 

It was about 7:15 am when I was woken up by the constant vibration of my phone. After about 2 solid minutes, I groggily turn over and check what it is. I see that it is a bunch of Twitter notifications and I decided to open them. I see an assload of pictures of Jc with some random girl wither ass out, but that’s when I see it.

“What the fuck?” I say to myself as I read the tweets. I feel my heart drop as I see my boyfriend cradling another girl’s ass. I immediately decide to call him and of course it goes straight to voicemail. 

Over the course of the next 9 days, I didn’t leave the house. Ricky and Callie came over to keep me company, but I just wanted to be alone. Kian tried calling every 5 minutes, except when he was on stage, but I ignored all of them. Even the rest of the boys were trying to contact me, but I only talked to Vitally since he wasn’t there that night. He tried to get me to talk about it, but knowing that he would relay it all to Kian, I just changed the subject. 

So many people were talking about what happened, even Kian’s ex Andrea. All I could do at this point is cry and look at old photos of Kian and I. 

Kian comes back tomorrow and I had to make a hasty decision. I was in the middle of my thoughts when my phone vibrated over and over again. I thought I shut that fucker off. I go look at it and I see it is the man of the hour once again.

I can’t help but smile a little bit as I cry even harder now. Is it worth letting go? Is it worth staying? Then he said it. 

Those words made my decision so much easier.

anonymous asked:

Modern AU but instead of a dog, Rover is a tiny micropig!!!! :D

an excellent concept. i apologize for how i’m about to ruin it.

  • [keith and pidge sneaking onto a farm for their supernatural-hunting youtube channel]
    keith: what was that noise??
    pidge: !! i bet it’s an alien!!
    tiny pig: [shuffles out from behind a bag] :0)
    keith: damn, false alarm. let’s– pidge, no.
    pidge: [shoving the pig into her messenger bag and opening a bag of chips for it] their name is rover and they’re my new best friend
    • i’m aware that micropigs probably aren’t found on farms, but listen. pidge straight-up stealing rover is an important part of their relationship.
  • matt: katie, what on earth were you thinking?? there’s no way mom is going to let you keep a pig!! that you stole!!
    pidge: ok but dad totally will
    matt: …goddammit. you’re absolutely right. he will.
    • mama holt: don’t be ridiculous, katie. you’re returning that right now.
      pidge: [turns to dad with a sad puppy face]
      dad holt: …now hold on one second, colleen, maybe we should think about this.
    • she gets to keep it
  • [at school]
    hunk: hey, what did you guys do this weekend?
    pidge: trespassed on private property to search for aliens
    lance: oh, so the usual then
    keith: pidge stole a pig
    hunk: you what??
    rover: [peeks out of pidge’s bag] :0)
    hunk: !!!!!
    lance: oh my gosh, hi little buddy!!
    keith: you brought it to school with you?? pidge!!
    hunk: [petting rover furiously] let her live, keith
    lance: [feeding rover his breakfast] yeah keith, back off
  • teacher: katie, where is your homework?
    pidge: my pig ate it
    teacher: you get brownie points for originality, but–
    pidge: [holding up rover, currently chewing on her worksheet] maam i’m serious
    • teacher: …katharyn, you cannot have that in here
      pidge: it’s my seeing-eye pig?
      teacher: please go to the principal’s office
  • [allura’s birthday party]
    lance: [leaving the kitchen with coran] oh man, this is gonna be great
    tiny pig: [passes by]
    lance: oh, hey rover
    lance: wait…where’s pidge?
    • he runs back into the kitchen, but the birthday cake is gone, and so is the mysterious pig
    • hunk and coran have to make a new one
    • lance sulks for a while because he worked really hard on decorating the cake. keith has to hug him to cheer him up.
  • teacher: i finished grading your tests, and all of you did terribly.
    lance: so that means there’s a curve, right?
    teacher: no.
    lance: ???
    teacher: i haven’t entered the scores into the gradebook yet, so i’ll hand them back briefly, but you won’t…
    teacher: …
    pidge: is everything alright, mr. haxus?
    teacher: [lifts up rover and the remaining scraps of the tests] katharyn holt, take your pig to the office for the rest of the day. if you bring it in one more time, you will get a suspension.
    lance: [whispering as she passes] the sacrifices you two have made will be remembered for generations to come
The First Time With Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by jkguks

Genre : Fluff, romance,comedy,implicit language & sexual innuendos 
Pairing:Jungkook x reader
Length: 13002 words
Summary : This is a series based on all of your first times with jungkook, from your childhood till adulthood

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7

Tell me your thoughts in the comments and ask box :)


THE FIRST TIME YOU WERE SENIORS IN HIGH SCHOOL

“Jungkookie” you raised a seductive brow as you slowly pulled onto his uniform’s tie

“What’s up?” his back was pressed against the wall, questioning your little acts

“Isn’t this uniform a little too stuffy?” you commented “This tie seems to be suffocating you”

“I don’t know…” he pulls your waist closer as he eyed your lips hungrily “Maybe it is?”

“What should we do about this, then?” you lift your head to lock eyes with him

“I don’t know, you tell me” Jungkook trails his fingers dangerously close to your skirt

Jungkook groaned as the vibrations of his phone were continuously heard on his night table. The so-called lazy boy wasn’t catching a single break since senior year began. His obligations and future goals were continuously roaming inside his victimized brain. So many things piling up, waiting for him to achieve them, yet the boy was taking his sweet time, sleeping under the soft blankets of love and pulling them closer against his sturdy body.

“Three more minutes mom” He muttered in his sleep

The phone wasn’t vibrating this time but it started ringing which meant that he had an oncoming call. The boy sat up and kicked his blanket in a fury as he hated being interrupted in his sleeping activities. He was having the best dream in a while yet someone had to interrupt his perfect fictional fantasy of getting it on with his long time crush.

He growls before burying his face back onto his pillow as his long fingers reached the electronical device to answer the call. It didn’t take long before he gave a reply that made the recipient’s heart drop and soul’s leave from their body. In fact, Kim Taehyung was always bound to get tangled in a mess when it came to his best friend Jungkook.

“KIM TAEHYUNG, YOU SON OF A DUMB FUCKIDY FUCKIDIDOO, WHAT’S UP?” Jungkook ran a hand through his hair in frustration

“Well damn, seems like someone is not in the mood to talk to me” Taehyung felt taken aback “and what was it? Fuckidy-doo? The fuck is that? You may think you’re being swag right now, but fuckididoo is not happening, just like fetch never happened”

“Look here, you stylish looking brat” Jungkook growled on the other side before clenching his fist “You just ruined the most amazing dream I ever had in my entire life” Jungkook faked a sob

“Did you just call me a brat? I was born before your ass even got out of the oven” Taehyung argued back “What was your dream?! Was it spicy~~~~” Taehyung squealed on the other line

“There’s no way I’m telling you. I’m keeping it to myself so that it actually becomes real” Jungkook rolled his eyes before adding “Sorry to break it out to you but you’re a jinx, Kim Taehyung”

“I’m a jinx? Yeah, you definitely had some sort of kinky dream” Taehyung chuckled “Who was the chick this time? Selena Gomez? Oh!!! Was it Ariana Grande?  You have a thing for brunette girls these days”

“I don’t have a thing for brunette girls, what are you saying? When did I ever say that…” he sighed before ruffling his hair

Jungkook had a type for the past few months and it always changed a few weeks in and out. He was smitten over blonde girls with slim bodies barely three months ago and now he found his new obsession with curvy brunettes. They apparently seemed like the kind of girls who’d teach him a thing or two. All of this was a misconception and even if Jungkook did had a preference for certain hair colors, he never had the guts to ever approach a girl or to stutter a single word if that girl in question wasn’t you. 

Truth had it that Jeon Jungkook was only comfortable around you. He was used to your presence, your scent, your hair color, your clinginess and your comments. Having a type was a thing, but Jungkook tried getting his mind off of you for the past two years, which is why he fell into an ideal type abyss. He didn’t even had an ideal type to begin with , he just wanted to have reason as to why he wouldn’t have to ever develop deeper feelings for you.

“Ayyy…you thought I’d fall for that?” Taehyung shot on the other line “It was definitely a steamy dream. Spill the bean and share the goods with me”

“I dreamt of cows and sheeps running in a field! Happy now?” Jungkook replied

“The fuck? Isn’t that a conception dream? “Taehyung half shouted “Bro, who the fuck have you knocked up? DID YOU MAKE SOMEONE PREGNANT?!”

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Originally posted by henycavil

Warning: angsty

A/N: so this wasn’t requested but its my birthday so this is what became of it.

**********

Waking up seems like a big task until I realize that it is my birthday, which essentially puts me in a good mood. I turn towards where my loving and caring boyfriend, Damon, is, or should be at least as he is not there. Thinking that he might be making me breakfast, I get up walking towards the kitchen only to see instead of seeing Damon I see a note instead.

(Y/n),

Elena needed my help, sorry.

Don’t know when I’ll be back,

Love you

Damon.

I sigh, maybe he is planning a surprise party for me, yeah maybe that’s it, I thought.

All throughout the day no one even once told you happy birthday just talking to me like it was just another day, and maybe it was, it just hurt when my own boyfriend spent the day with another girl, not once wishing me a happy birthday or even wishing for me to have a good day.

It’s 9pm when I get back to the boarding house, thinking that maybe just maybe they did plan a party but it was the opposite of what I was expecting when I walked in. Damon and Elena were making out on the couch in the lounge room not even noticing my presence so I walk out going straight towards the grill for a well-deserved drink. By 10pm Klaus walks in and notices me at the bar, slightly tipsy, he walks up to you

“No why on earth is the birthday girl drinking alone?” he asks, surprising me as no one has talked to me, only the bartender asking what drink I wanted.

“What?” disoriented, I glance up at him. He looks at me worriedly

“You alright love” he asks

“Define alright?” I mumble into my drink, taking a sip

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh a part from the fact that I have horrible friends? Well let’s see, I woke up alone, my boyfriend spent the whole day with another girl, no one besides you, in this god forsaken town, wished me a happy birthday, not my family, no one. I have had a shit day only wanting to come home to spend the night with my loving and caring boyfriend only to find him making out with Elena. But apart from all that I have no idea what you are talking about” I rant, looking to Klaus afterwards with a tired look on my face and a tired smile, he just looks at me, listening to what I have to say.

“well they are idiots especially that Salvatore for ever betraying you like that, that Scooby-doo gang that you hang out with don’t deserve to be your friends or even look at you “Klaus says with the sincerest look on his face

“Really?”

“Absolutely, I haven’t, and wouldn’t lie to you sweetheart” he says truthfully

“You mean that?”

“Of course” he says just as a group of people walk through the door, who just so happen to be my so called friends

“Ignore them love” he says to me, pulling my face away to I was looking at him instead

“Oi! (y/n)! what are you doing talking to him come over here?” Caroline calls out to me, I look over at them and look straight at Damon who has a confused look on his face. I look back to Klaus, seeing him look calm but also worried, for me, and I felt nice because it has been a long time since someone, anyone has looked at me with such tenderness and love.

“Nah, I’m good” I say, they all look surprised at what I said. I turn back to Klaus and grab his arm pulling him out of his chair and pulling him towards the door

“I’ve got a hot date to celebrate my birthday with” I say as Klaus and I pass by them. Klaus made the rest of my birthday the best birthday I have ever had.

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 5)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 773

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: This is where I start to apologize for what’s coming. >.<

Originally posted by yourlipbalm


Mildred looked up at you as you all settled down in the living room, cups of coffee being handed to everyone. She gave you a smile. “Dear, my birthday is next week. Apparently, my family is holding a surprise birthday party during that weekend, Sunday. Would you like to attend?”

“Nana!” screeched Steve and Bucky simultaneously.

She laughed, waving them away. “You people are hardly secretive! I have known for a while.” She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “They’re throwing me this big party like they’re expecting me to die soon. Pah! Not happening.”

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Simmer // Archie Andrews

Summary: Archie and you have a fight when Veronica can’t seem to understand that Archie isn’t single but that doesn’t stop her from kissing him. During ‘Secrets and Sins’ some things you didn’t know are revealed causing a rift but with the sex be enough to convince you how much Archie cares?

Characters: Reader x Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper x Jughead Jones, Veronica Lodge, Kevin Keller, Cheryl Blossom, Chuck Clayton, Dilton Doiley, FP Jones, Jason Blossom (mentioned) and Ms. Grundy (mentioned).

Words: 3126

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Riverdale or the characters involved. Some parts of the dialogue from the episode has been changed to fit the fic.

Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, party, fighting, and smut.

Author: Caitsy

A/N: This was two requests I put into one!

Master List

Prompt List

ASK US A QUESTION LIST

Originally posted by riverdalesource

The minute Archie told you about Betty throwing Jughead a birthday party you knew it would go bad. When you were young Mrs. Jones would babysit you for extra cash, your parents doubled the average pay to her. That meant you grew up close with Jughead as if you were siblings or really close cousins and you knew how much he hated his birthday.

You were shocked when Archie allowed the get together build into a fill fledged high school part with two kegs in attendance. Your boyfriend was acting odd but refused to tell you why and you didn’t appreciated Veronica making eyes at your oblivious boyfriend.

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3

For @ohheylookitsyou…reader is Hotch’s niece as requested. Enjoy!

Y/N’s eyes widened as her jaw gaped as her uncle led her into the BAU. Aaron Hotchner glanced over his shoulder with a small smile. It had been forever since he had seen his niece. So, when she called and asked to visit, he was more than happy to allow it.

The niece slowly caught up to her uncle and latched onto his arm. Her awed gaze returned to Hotch’s smirking one.

“This place looks amazing,” she complimented, “This whole place is probably run on caffeine though.”
Hotch laughed as he nodded. “Let me introduce you to my team.”

Y/N nodded as he led her further into the room. The pair soon slowed down by a clump of desks. Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid glanced up. Having seen Hotch approach, Rossi left his office and made his way down.

“Y/N, these are agents Emily Prentiss and Derek Morgan. This is Dr. Spencer Reid. Everybody, this is my niece, Y/N.”
“I highly doubt that,” Rossi teased holding out his hand. “David Rossi.”
She shook his hand. “Not to sound like a groupie, but I’ve read your work. As well as yours, Dr. Reid.”
Morgan quirked a brow. “Really? I don’t suppose you understood any of it.”
Y/N smirked. “All of it, actually. He explained the content quite well.”

Hotch smirked at a blushing Reid. He stood up and held out his hand. Y/N shook it.

“I-I appreciate the compliment.”

Y/N smiled sweetly at the doctor.


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All For Show Part 2

Pair : Steve Rogers x Reader

8. You ask your best friend to pretend to be your boyfriend for your sisters couples dinner party. Requested by anon. 

Warning : Language
Word Count : 982

Part 1 

Originally posted by imaginesofeveryfandom

It’s been a week since your sisters Valentine’s Day dinner. And the moment you made it to your apartment, you kept your distance from Steve.

The feelings you had for him were not only confusing, but painful. You couldn’t be with him. You couldn’t damage the friendship you two had because of things didn’t work out, you knew everything would change.

You were in love with your best friend. The biggest cliche of them all. Something you would always tease. But here you were.

Steve called you everyday since the dinner. Not knowing what was going on. He even knocked on your door a couple of times. But you never answered.

You were terrified.

He left voicemails on your phone, asking you to call him back. Telling you how much he misses you and wants you to talk to him.

It was the hardest thing to do, to push him away.

—–

“Shit! I’m going to be late!” You yelped as you shot up in bed.

Quickly, you threw whatever you had near you, on and pulled your hair up in a messy bun.

It was your first day back to work since the dinner, and you couldn’t be late.

You were an assistant for one of the biggest fashion designer in New York City. And she wasn’t one to be late for.

As you opened the door to leave, you tripped over something, almost knocking you over. “Ow!”

“What the hell?” You groaned.

Looking back, you felt your breath hitch to the back of your throat. Your body stiffened as your eyes met his.

“Just beat me up why don’t you.” Steve slightly chuckled, pulling himself up off the ground.

“W-What’re you d-doing here?” You stuttered.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest, his stare more intense than it was before.

“I’m making sure my best friend is okay.” He said. “Why haven’t you answered any of my calls? Or texts?”

You swallowed hard and immediately averted your eyes else where as you turned your back to him.

“I’ve been busy.” You lied.

“Too busy to send a quick text back?” He asked. “Did I do something? Did I screw up the dinner? What the hell happened?”

You didn’t want him to find out the real reason why you’ve been ignoring his calls. Which you decided to play it cool.

“You did nothing wrong.” You stated. “I’ve just been busy. My sister had me running around the city with her, planning her stupid wedding.” Part of that was true, but it was always just for a couple of hours.

Steve studied your face for bluff. His brows scrunched together as if he were thinking of something.

Until a smile crept on his lips and his stare softened. “Ok good. I thought I did something.” He chuckled. “I’ve missed you though. I never knew how boring my life is without you until now.”

You playfully rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Stop being dramatic. It was only a week.” You teased. “But seriously, I have to go before I’m late.”

As you were about to walk away, you felt his hand tug at yours.

“Come over tonight. I’ll order Chinese and we can watch pirates of the Caribbean.” He smiled.

You wanted to come up with some excuse. But you had nothing.

“Before you could even say no, im going to leave.” Steve chuckled. “I’ll see you tonight. And say hi to Satan for me.”

And just like that, he was gone.

Your were finally able to let out a long breath, which you didn’t even know you were holding.

A part of you was happy to see him, to feel him again. But the other part wanted to scream.

Today was going to be a long day.

—–
(9 hours later)

“So what’re you going to do tonight?” Riley asked as she swung her purse over her shoulder. Ready to leave for the day.

You shrugged your shoulders and yawned. “Going to Steve’s for some Chinese.”

Riley smiled at the name. Ever since she met Steve at your birthday party last year, she had this small thing for him. But who could blame her?

“That sounds fun.” She stated. “You’re so lucky to have a guy like him. I remember just how funny and sweet he was at your party. How long have you two been dating?”

“What? N-No, he and I are just friends.” You muttered. “Nothing more.”

“Oh wow, I thought you two were together. My mistake.”

“It’s okay. He’s just my best friend.” You reassured her.

Riley bit on her lower lip, her fingers twisting her hair as if she were nervous. “Well if you two aren’t dating, would it be okay if I talked to him?”

Your stomach dropped, a spark of jealousy ignited in you and as much as you wanted to say no. To tell her he’s all yours, you didn’t.

You knew you couldn’t be with him. You knew you had to ignore these feelings.

“What’re you doing tonight?” You asked.

—–

Steve was so excited to spend the night with you. To be with you again.

The entire week, when he was alone he realized just how important you were. He realized how much he wanted to see you and suddenly, his feelings for you grew.

He wanted tonight to be special.

Steve wasn’t someone who acted on his feelings until now. When he saw you today, he wanted nothing more than to pull you in and kiss you again.

But he wanted to do it right. This was the first time he had ever felt this way for someone.

The knock at his door made his stomach flutter. Not only was he excited to hang out with you, he was nervous.

“You got this.” He whispered to himself.

As he opened the door, his smile twitched. “R-Riley?”

“Hey.” She smirked.