To some it may take months or years to even realize.
but to the ones who fall in a matter of days, it’s probably the most scariest.
when it honestly hits you like a slap to the face and you go from one moment to barely acknowledging that person to never being able to stop thinking about them. that moment when you never though that person would be the one, never saw it coming, but all it took was a day and time when that person talked to you and you felt as if your world had stopped and suddenly you were feeling things you weren’t sure what they were yourself. that moment when you’ve had other crushes, other little flings, but suddenly all that seemed so insignificant in comparison to what you’re feeling right now. that moment when you had to talk to yourself and ask yourself: what’s going on with you? why does your heart beat so fast like this? why is this happening?
And even you don’t know the answer to it.
But do you know that feeling when you know you shouldn’t feel a certain way because of all the things you know won’t happen and in a way you’re leading yourself on? That feeling that even just thinking of that person brings a giddy smile to your face that it’s low key embarrassing and all your friends are confused as to why your smiling during a stupid math class. And that feeling when you know that person won’t like you back, ever, because there’s just absolutely no way, just no way. And you try not to think about that, because honestly that person itself is enough for you to make you happy, although that person being someone to call yours would be easily the best thing to ever happen to you. The small smiles, the playful winks, the lightest touch of your hands brushing. While every small thing that has happened has imprinted in your brain with nowhere to go, you remember that the other person has probably never even though much about it to the extent that you have. And even worse, if this were to ever happen to you I’m so so sorry, but even worse if that person were to like one of your closest friends, someone who you don’t know what you’d do without either. That feeling when you can’t help but feel obligated to make them both happy and sacrifice your happiness, just because they both mean so much to you in ways you can’t describe.
yea, I may just be a stupid high schooler in love, and this might all seem dumb and childish to me once I grow older. But today, I can’t help but ask just one question, every single day.
In light of the unfortunate recent events, I just wanted to say something. I know on this blog I would occasionally reblog news relating to world events and politics but recently I have decided not to anymore. Life is stressful as it is, and to be surrounded by this bad news all the time is just extremely exhausting. I want my blog to be a place I can come to so I can feel safe, so I can relax and forget about the bad. And I want it to be that for others as well.
I hope no one is upset with me for not reblogging anything. But please know that I do care.