I feel like people have been getting this all wrong

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anonymous asked:

Have you ever been in a situation where you saw some racist fuckshit going on but didn't say anything for whatever reason and then got upset at yourself for not speaking up afterwards? If so how did you get over it?

all the time. i’m not a person who feels like i need to speak up everytime i see some racist stuff. for one, it’s not my job to educate people. two, sometimes people need to keep saying dumb shit until they say it to the wrong person and get they ass beat. three, it depends on the circumstances. 

i speak up when it’s affecting my ability to live and function. if it’s hindering my education, or my paycheck, then i speak up. i will also speak up if i see that it’s something that is making things uncomfortable for other people. but if i hear some ignorant shit, and it’s like a white person trying to “play devil’s advocate,” i let em ramble.

racist people don’t upset me. i guess i’m numb to it now. i’ve dealt with so many racists, i see it as a flaw of them, not me, so i don’t get upset. like i said, unless it’s interfering with my learning or work environment, i let ignorant people be ignorant. that’s their issue.

anonymous asked:

there are definitely some things that i don't care for too much re. the novel, but i'm really not comfortable with the idea that temari crying is wrong or portrayed as weak. I have been through some serious abuse in my life, and, when i was finally able to feel comfortable expressing emotions around people i cared about, it meant a lot. additionally, temari isn't like all-out sobbing like Shikamaru has over stuff in the past. (Or Naruto.) she's impatient that she is and she isn't admitting to it

Here’s the rest of anons messages for reference: 

Additionally, there is a huge stigma over crying and expressing emotion in fandom and it’s kind of gross to see sometimes. Yes, she was crying over a guy. But, tbh, what is wrong with that? And why should her emotional moment (with her younger brother who is showing compassion she still doesn’t expect sometimes.) be invalidated? Or any emotional moment that isn’t destructive or harmful be invalidated or treated as weak? Ftr, I’ve enjoyed following your blog a lot, but I’m just really disappointed in how you’ve approached this.

Bear with me because this is about to get looooooong. 

There are a huge plethora of reasons I take issue with Temari crying in that scene, and zero of them have to do with me viewing crying as a weakness. Some of my favorite moments, and some of the most powerful moments in Naruto have been when a character expresses how moved they are through their tears. I have headcanons in which Temari cries. Its the reason she’s crying I find so offputting and out of character. 

I could get into the history of the manga and its treatment of female characters (which I am definitely about to) but right off the bat I’d like to point out the post that you are referencing (aka this one) was written more to illustrate the fact that Temari had so little development in the actual manga that I have formed a very firm and personal standing on who she is and so if something conflicts with that I kind of just pretend it didn’t happen in my own little world. Temari as I invision her would not cry in that situation, and that post was actually referencing a broader understanding I am coming to that a lot of the things I believe about Temari aren’t technically canon because there’s simply nothing there to support them despite what we can infer from her limited panel time. Its making light of the fact that I get so riled up when something happens in canon or canon related material that conflicts with my personal headcanon, even though I technically have no room to talk because my headcanons are just head canons after all. 

That said, I do still think her tears are out of character. Following the sasuke retrieval missions failure, Temari is with Shikamaru. She is confused by his “unexpected fragility” because she has had emotional training and does not understand why he is so easily shaken. When he breaks down crying in front of his father, she stares passively. She was later described as “the cruelest kunoichi” by Shikamaru himself. Most of her appearances paint her as a no nonsense all business type person. This is not a woman who wears her emotions on her sleeve. And yes, crying is not a weakness, but that doesn’t mean everybody expresses emotionally vulnerability by crying either. Temari cares about Shikamaru, that’s undeniable. But he isn’t in immediate danger. He isn’t on his death bed. The only thing he’s doing is acting differently….and….not telling her why? And that means Temari, a stone cold fighter is going to cry over that? There are situations involving Shikamaru in which I could see Temari shedding a few tears, but not over something this menial. She just isn’t that type of person. So that begs the question….why did they decide to have her cry in this scene when it goes against what we’ve been given in the manga. 

And that brings me to my real point. She’s crying because everyone reading this novel knows she eventually marries Shikamaru, and its supposed to be some bullshit representation of how in love with him she is. I hate the fact that they think they have to make every woman in this manga cry in order to illustrate their love for a man. It has happened so many fucking times. I thought Temari would be safe because she’s mentioned so rarely but apparently that was just wishful thinking. They are sacrificing her characterization and reducing her to a teary eyed girl who just “can’t help shedding a tear when she’s worried about her man.” instead of the composed pillar of a person she is. She has never been presented as the type of person who would cry over something like this, literally ever. 

Lets just take a look at the history of tears in Naruto:
-Naruto has cried a lot. He cried as a child after being rejected by the village. He cried over Haku’s death on the bridge. He cried after his fight with Gaara in memory over the way he had been treated. He cried over sasuke at some point. He cried when he had to say goodbye to his mother and father. 
-Shikamaru cried when the sasuke retrieval mission failed. He also cried when Asuma died. 
-Gaara cried as a child when he was completely fucked over by literally everyone. He cried when he realized Sasuke was unsaveable. He also cried when he was told his mother truly loved him.
-Sasuke cried when he realized the truth about his brother and his clan. 
-Itachi cried when he was coerced into killing his entire family.
-Kakashi cried when Obito and Rin died. 
-Sakura has cried too many times to count. It almost always has something to do with Sasuke or Naruto. Occasionally they’ll really play it up and have her cry about how useless she is compared to Naruto and Sasuke, and how she can only sit and watch them duke it out.
-Ino has cried three times. When Asuma died, when her father died, and when she was told the village was putting out a hit on Sasuke.
-Karin cried over Sasuke, someone who has never shown her respect, when he literally left her to die. 
-Tsunade cried when Nawaki, Dan, and Jiraiya died. 
-Kurenai cried when she got the news of Asuma’s death.
-Temari never cried even once during the manga ever at all. She did not cry when Gaara made a change for the better. She did not cry when her father died. She did not cry when her brother was on the verge of death after being poisoned. She did not cry when Gaara literally died. She didn’t cry when anything significant to her personally happened. Yet you expect me to believe she is crying because Shikamaru is “acting strange”. Even I have my limits. 

Now lets analyze the results. I didn’t list every single time a character has cried because frankly I don’t remember all of them, those were just the ones that came to mind immediately. There is a pattern here, wherein male characters cry when they have reached a deep emotional threshold which then spurs them into action or speaks to their character as a whole. Female characters cry when something happens to a male character. Most of the time the fact that they’re crying is supposed to say something about the male character they’re crying over rather than themselves. When Shikamaru failed his first mission as chunin, his tears were a crucial moment for his development. It represented a shift in his motivations and a shift in how he views himself. That moment carried weight for the rest of the manga. I could say something similar about most of the moments where male characters cry. The same could not be said for some of the females. Ino crying over Sasuke was literally just put in the manga so it looked like someone other than Naruto and Sakura actually gave a shit about what happened to him. That moment wasn’t for Ino, it was for Sasuke. 

Now we look at Temari. She never cried in the official manga even though it would have been understandable if she did. If my brother was dying in a hospital I might “get a little sand in my eye”. If my other brother was simultaneously captured by a terrorist organization, I would definitely have “let a single tear slide down [my] face”. But we were never shown this. You could make the argument that it happened off screen but that just further proves my point. They don’t think its worth the time to show her crying over her family members, something that would be significant to her as a character, and not only her, but to the sand siblings dynamic as a whole (showing how they have learned to accept and care for one another after the invasion of Konoha) but they somehow do think its significant to have her cry over Shikamaru. That’s because those tears aren’t there to develop Temari they’re there to develop Shikamaru. 

And a lot of this is admittedly sour grapes in how Temari’s character was treated in the official manga, especially in the last few years of its serialization. Almost ALL of her panel time during the war was in reference to Shikamaru in some way. There was a panel where she lamented on Gaara’s progress, and then a few more when she was fighting the Raikage, but other than that she was mostly there to comment on what a great hokage Shikamaru would make or how much of a genius he had become. I don’t have a problem with Temari supporting or showing concern for Shikmaru. I do have a problem when that’s the only thing she does. I wrote a massive complaint in reference to chapter 700 and Temari which you can view here and a follow up to it here. I just don’t trust the writers intentions with Temari at all after chapter 700, so that feeds into this a lot.  

And I know what you’re thinking “but wait Holly, what if her crying is supposed to show how she’s developed as a person and learned to be more comfortable with showing vulnerability!?” Okay but….that isn’t what’s happening. There have been a number of potentially emotional moments for her in the actual manga, none of which resulted in her crying. Nothing led up to these two scenes at all. And it’s because they really don’t give a shit about her characterization at all, she might as well just be a cardboard cutout of some generic woman crying over Shikamaru because they really only have two criteria here (woman, check. Crying, check) for moving forward the plot and its as easy to make Temari fit that bill as anyone else. 

So if I actually thought Temari crying in those two scenes was supposed to be some example of her emotional development and her finally achieving the ability to express her feelings with those she cares about, I wouldn’t have a problem with it. But that’s not what its there for. Temari is just a plot device being used to further Shikamaru’s development which is so typical of the naruto franchise. And I get it, it’s a novel about Shikamaru so its going to focus around him, but I take issue with Temari’s big character moment being her crying over a man she isn’t even in a relationship with up to this point, when about 400 other shittier things happened to her that were just glossed over in the manga.

I’m sorry if I disappointed you with my take on this novel, I don’t ever want to offend or isolate any of my followers, and I understand where you’re coming from. But I still stand by my statement, and I still hate the direction they’ve gone with Temari in the novel. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but I know there are some that do. It hasn’t been translated in its entirety, so maybe in later chapters something will change. But this is where I’m at with it right now. 

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The main people I get negative comments or abuse from are always white males of angry-nerd persuasion, between 30-50. (God, I love the word “nerd” and I am a huge one so forgive me.) These guys have been validated a lot as adults—told they are misunderstood geniuses. They also feel like underdogs, that the world owes them. Because they had childhood pain, we all now must correct that wrong by worshiping them, by excusing their every bad move. They believe they run the world. “Who’s the bully now, world?” And they believe finally, now as adults, they can capture the princesses.
—  Porochista Khakpour

I’m not feeling the best, even though I might not show it through my art or journals. I’ve been saying and doing stuff that I shouldn’t be doing… I feel like whenever I try to put out a point, people just try and put words in my mouth and they tell me off… it feels like they’re telling me that I’m just being a massive bully and my thoughts are all wrong, even with proof behind it.

Not to mention my dreams have been getting quite weird and uncomfortable over the last month or so. Some might seem ok or even great, but most of the dreams are just roller coaster rides that have me wishing they could end, yet I’m just forced to hold on throughout the whole thing.

I really wish y’all can understand what I’m going through… hopefully things will be ok by the time the school holidays begin… I just want all this anxiety and worry to end…

THAC Fandom Love

So my favorite thing about the Marble Hornets/ THAC fandom is probably how welcoming they are.

Like, I started watching Marble Hornets in 2010, right around when entry 25 was uploaded, but I wasn’t really part of the fandom until a couple months ago (specifically when the 44 tweet came out) for a bunch of different reasons, none of them pertaining to something wrong with the fandom mind you.

But like, I just wandered into the tag, started posting shit and talking to people, and everyone was like “ayyy look at dis gui he p cool” and like never made me feel bad for joining super recently or made me feel out of the loop/ dumb, and even THAC themselves have been especially welcoming too.

So yeah, when I started poking around in here I was super anxious that everyone was gonna sorta ignore me and pretend I don’t exist and I was gonna get all depressed after about a week, so I just wanted to say thank you guys for being amazing

I’m starting to lose hope of getting noticed by taylor. I have tried my hardest for so long and I know it takes time because there is so many people. I really have been staying positive and I keep telling myself “oh it’ll happen, but it happens unexpectedly!” but some people that taylor follow reblog me and I get so excited because I feel like that’s my chance, ya know? all my friends have gotten noticed and don’t get me wrong I’m so so so happy for them!! sometimes I can’t help but think that maybe it just won’t be one of those things I get to experience. I’m still staying hopeful though, and I will until the day taylor notices me or I meet her. that day can’t come soon enough. the feeling of being the person that never gets noticed is the worst but what can ya do. I’m not saying I’m loosing hope 100% and I’m just going to stop trying, heck no if I’m feeling hopeless I will try harder. it’s just hard because it’s all I’ve wanted for 8 years. anyway, I hope the day comes for me on day. if you see this taylor, I’m not in any way, shape or form trying to make you feel guilty. just know I love you with everything in me and I always will.

secretlyastar asked:

As much as I was anti-baby, I think EJ would have been better received because Renesmee seems like a Bella-duplicate. Edward would get some representation (headcanon: he's got green eyes) and I sort of feel all the fuss surrounding Renesmee wouldn't be there. Oh, and his name wouldn't be Edward Jacob because that's just wrong. Anthony seems to be popular in fanfiction.

‘Edward Jacob’ is a very tone-deaf name to pick but somehow very Bella. Like, of course she’d name a boy that, “after the two people I love most in the world” and then Edward has to deal with his child being named after his rival and Jacob has to be like, ‘you love me enough to name your freaking KID after me but not enough to actually BE with me (or let me go)?” She would see it as honoring both of them and be oblivious to how it could be upsetting to both of them. 

Anthony is a good choice, as Edward’s middle name. I see “Masen” sometimes too, which isn’t terrible. I still think a discussion with Carlisle about using the Cullen name for their child would have been really sweet. I mean it’s never really clear how much the others think of “Cullen” as their actual name vs the name they use in their cover story. Edward being like, “Carlisle we would be honored if you would allow us to bestow the Cullen name on our child” would have been kind of great. It’s Carlisle’s name; Edward might consider it his name too, after all these years, but it’s not technically his to give. 

i am kinda bummed out today. because there are 3 ppl at my school who are very qualified to attend an Ivy League and they’re such hard workers and really smart and they were all rejected from their top schools. i can understand why i didn’t get into my top school. my grades weren’t what they should have been in 10th and 9th grade. but these people didn’t do anything wrong like i can’t even begin to understand how that would feel. dreams crushed :’/

Erik Durm 'fans'

Okay Im sorry if this is negative but its something on my mind. Okay so recently regarding Erik Durm getting a new girlfriend a lot of people have been freaking out. Im 100% cool with this. However Ive seen a lot of people posting things like the girls that are freaking out over Erik are so exhausting & sad or ‘fans’/’fangirls’ are being so childish; just condescending things like that. Okay first of all if you don’t consider yourself a fan why are you even on this tag? Secondly whats wrong with people expressing how they feel, so what their fans, it does stand for fanatic. Yes I’m aware some girls might be hating a his girlfriend and that’s not okay. I know I shouldn’t be giving the negativity any attention but honestly it’s really bugging me and there’s really no reason for it cause the girls that say negative things like that are being just as hateful and dramatic. I understand it’s your opinion but if your going to post things like that reword it, make it nicer and less rude and condescending or better yet keep it to yourselves. Again sorry if this brought anyone down I just felt it needed to be addressed..

anonymous asked:

laurel or felicity

okay i get it my url is felicity and laurel but i will admit i wasn’t always laurels number one fan and it’s not due to some HUGE grudge i had against her ??? sometimes as a viewer i connect less with certain characters and i shouldn’t feel obliged to have some list of flaws to pull out whenever i don’t feel like i am connecting with a certain character.

however i am enjoying laurel more this season and i will a 100% agree that the hate she gets is because people feel that liking olicity means hating laurel. which is wrong, lauriver is dead and laurel is just another human/flawed character like all the others, her storyline this season has been a lot more interesting for me :) 

felicity is probably my favourite character on the show and people have been more anti felicity this season because she’s stronger and more vocal. I will love and support her choices always, because all in all her and oliver are my favourite characters. i am not really alternative with my choices haha, but yeah when she cries i cry and i probably fell in love with her the most over the time i’ve been watching arrow. so i am definitely in the defend laurel lance 2k15 squad but felicity smoak has a full time throne in my heart :3 

riverxknight asked:

Hey so I could be wrong, but I've noticed a small handful of people not replying back to me, & you know its fine if you don't have something to say or something but then the second time it kind of makes you question it all you know? Look I don't wanna sit here and tattle tale bc I'm not a child, but can you just remind people that its wrong to reply to only certain people. This is a rpg, and I'm included in it, and well I'd like to continue feeling I am but when I'm being ignored it sucks

Members-

I could not agree more with this. We have been trying to get everyone to reply to each other and we all understand that it is impossible to reply to all 90 members in this role play. But if someone is replying to your starters at least have the decency  to respond back. It doesn’t take long to go through your activity and respond to those whom have took the time out to make you feel included by replying to your starters. Yes our rule is you have to reply to two starters but you also must reply back to that person and carry on a conversation. The last thing we want is for people to feel left out and I can say that people have completely ignored replies from my characters as well and it is infuriating and rude so I see where you are coming from. So PLEASE EVERYONE SCROLL THROUGH YOUR ACTIVITY AND JUST REPLY TO THOSE WHO TAKE THE TIME TO ANSWER YOUR STARTERS Don’t ignore anyone, we all come here for a good time and we can’t do so if people are only talking to their ships.

character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with: Satan or Laila

favorite friendship: Satan, Laila, Felix, Anthea, Pax

general opinions: Honestly I really do like Nat. Like she’s always come off to me as the type that will see the positives in any and all situations and that is a great quality to have and is willing to get to know people before judging them, albeit being just slightly aloof. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. She’s been in some shitty situations, but I feel like she’s the type of person that, instead of blaming others definitely will admit when she’s messed up or has done something wrong.

I’ve made the decision to go back to school, finish a semester, and apply for the DCP.
The last year flew by and I feel like I wasted so much of it. While I don’t like to be made fun of for “not having a life” and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with laying in bed all day, it’s MY decision to do something now.
I can’t handle working fashion retail anymore and I want to get out before I’m stuck there forever.
No more letting anything pass me by or letting people hold me back. I’ve been facing so many of my fears lately and it’s time to take bigger steps.

anonymous asked:

Hey Sarah <3 I think I might be a lesbian .. before I thought I was bi but now I've just been thinking about having a girlfriend ?? Like I don't want a boyfriend I want to date a girl and it honestly terrifies me that I might be a lesbian but I don't know why because I know theres nothing wrong with that but I just feel scared, maybe because I won't ever be "normal" to the people around me //:

i used to feel similar to that. it’s all a journey to self discovery. you will get there. it scares you because you’ve been conditioned to think that being straight is the norm. it sucks :( just keep doing the positive self talk and keep telling yourself that it’s ok, and hopefully you’ll come to truly accept it :) best of luck. and don’t be so hung up on figuring it all out… it’s ok to not really know. you just got to go with what you feel and not always try to label it :) xxx