I don't even remember if he show up at the book did he

The Only Exception (Part 3)

Summary: AU. Reader is given the task of running a popular love advice internet show when her coworker is fired. Her cynical attitude toward love makes her offer some harsh advice, and more than a few hearts are caught in the aftermath. Will hers be one of them?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3,523

Warnings: language, fluff, wishful thinking, hot firemen, sarcasm, cynicism, bad jokes, drinking, sad story retelling (mentions of death and loss)

A/N: Moving right along…and yes, I used a Keep Reading line. Also, shout out to @redgillan for making my day brighter.

Part - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Originally posted by kittyseb

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hello! i don't think i've requested this before (please forgive me if i have!!), but could i request a sort of "friends to lovers" au with joshua from svt? thank you so much for your time!

find friends - to - lover!seungcheol (here)

  • you and joshua met at summer camp in middle school because you two were the only kids who actually read books on the bus ride to and from the camp ground
  • and literally all the other kids spent the time playing games or shouting but nope. you and joshua sat by each other, silently, reading
  • and you two,,,,,,just kinda naturally became a duo,,,,,,,like you were always partners for sporting events and helped each other during arts and crafts
  • and it was cute,,,,,,,,all the counselors thought you guys were adorable and the other kids would call you the shy couple but you and joshua,,,,like,,,,,,,you just became inseparable
  • and throughout the years you supported each other as friends until you know,,,,,,you guys started to come out of being shy and stuff and funnily enough you and joshua got into the habit of being like sorta competitive when it came to school
  • and you guys just got inside jokes about out-doing the other person,,,,but like all in good fun??? never seriously or in a mean way
  • you also gossip with each other like,,,,people see you and josh and are like woW such diligent, polite students but LOL you and him have your fair share of savageness
  • but it’s totally a bestfriend thing where you meet up to get coffee to study but in reality you spend time quizzing each other and complaining about shitty professors while also reminiscing about the past 
  • “joshua remember when you got 100 on our first chem quiz as freshmen.” 
  • “yeah, what about-”
  • “remember i got 103 because i did the extra credit (—:”
  • “,,,,,,are you really bringing that up? do i have to remind you of what else happened to us as freshmen? mainly what happened between you and that hoshi ki-”
  • “oK JOSHUA SH”
  • but as much as you’re jokingly being sarcastic with each other you truly care about each other and ,,,,,that’s why when joshua tells you he’s got extended family coming over,,,,and they’ve literally not let it go about him not being in a relationship and so,,,,,,,,if you could pleaSE just fake date him for this dinner,,,,,,,
  • you say yes,,,,because how can you say no???
  • only problem is the minute you show up the hongs are all like fiNALLY YOU Two ARE DAting,,,,,we always knew it would come to this!!!!
  • and joshua’s mom is nudging you because,,,,,,hey she’s been trying to get joshua to make a move since long before and joshua is like m OM
  • and you’re both sitting at the dinner table,,,,and yes it’s awkward but you’ve been to their house so many times that somehow??? it’s not
  • like it actually feels super,,,,,,nice and natural
  • because you know joshua and his family and even his extended family don’t seem hard to get along with at all
  • and for most of the dinner,,,,,,you forget that it’s fake
  • the smiles you and joshua share,,,,,the joking around with his parents,,,,,,,
  • it’s all something you’ve done before but ,,,, when joshua grabs your hand and brings it to his lips as a show for his family,,,,,,you can’t help but feel your heart race
  • and his lips are so warm on your skin
  • and before you know it you’re looking at joshua’s profile,,,,how pretty his eyes are,,,,,how he’s got such handsome features,,,,,, how he’s not the shy boy at camp but ,,,,,,,,, the drop dead gorgeous best friend of yours
  • who probably could date anyone,,,,,but,,,,,choose to have you by his side for this
  • and you’re like arguing with yourself because no,,,no he chose you because you’re his best friend,,,,he could trust you not to mess up in front of his family,,,,,,but then again joshua has other friends,,,,,to ask,,,,,,,,
  • and you can’t help the sinking feeling in your stomach when the dinner ends and joshua’s mom is encouraging him to walk you home
  • and you’re going along the sidewalk in silence and joshua is like “thank you for helping me tonight,,,,,,seriously they wouldn’t get off my back”
  • and you try to strain out a laugh because ahh yeah this was all a joke,,,,,,a lie,,,,,,
  • but as you get to your front door you’re like “joshua i-”
  • and he’s like “wait,,,,,,i just,,,,,,,i have a question,,,,”
  • and you’re like,,, what is it??? and he’s like “well i was thinking about how everyone was like,,,,,, talking about how they expected us to date,,,,,do you think that’s true?? that we,,,make a good couple,,,,,”
  • and joshua’s cheeks are pink,,,,eyes flicking around from you to the floor and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,,oh
  • but you’re like “i mean i guess we are - we fooled everyone in your fami-”
  • but he shakes his head and he’s like “i mean,,,,,do you think we,,,,,,we could be something more?” and you’re like “,,,,,,,if i say yes will you think that’s weird?”
  • but joshua looks up and breathes a sigh of relief and he’s like no,,, not at all,,,,,,i thought i was the weird one for thinking tonight was so,,,,natural,,,,
  • and you look at him,,,,,still dressed up a bit because his mom had made him put on a tie because of formal dinner attire or whatever,,,,and the way you’ve only seen joshua flustered when he was a shy kid ,,,,, and how cute it looks on him
  • the unsure,,,,stuttery joshua,,,,,,,you’ve missed him
  • and you take a step closer to him and joshua swallows and looks down at you and you take a hold of his wrist and lean in and he closes his eyes,,,,,,,,,,
  • but you kiss his cheek and you’re like “how about we go on a real date soon,,,,,,” and joshua is like sure,,,,where??? and you shrug and you’re like “surprise me,,,,whatever you choose will be fun. im sure.” and you give him a little wave as you go inside
  • and you almost fall over yourself when the door closes because oh my god your best friend,,,,,might be your boyfriend very v e r y soon
  • and joshua is still standing frozen on the spot, hand over the spot where you kissed him because,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh my god his best friend,,,,,might be,,,,,,,the One,,,,,

anonymous asked:

I had this crazy idea about Genma/kakashi like, imagine Bookstore-Owner!Kakashi chilling behind the counter reading some porn when his door slams open and this very annoyed but super sexy Florist!Genma storms in heading straight for Kakashi. Genma slams his hands down on the counter, glaring at Kakashi and says "I swear to god if you don't have a book on flower meanings I'm going to murder my customer." And Kakashi discovers Genma's hot and florists couldn't give 2 shits about flower meanings.

(Thank you anon, oh my god I’ve been fiddling with like 15 different WIPs for the past 6 hours and didn’t realize that THIS is what my brain was looking for, but IT IS PERFECT.)


Kakashi is about halfway through the display copy of the newest Icha Icha book, idly swirling the dregs of the mocha Obito had brought him earlier when he stopped in to yell about Kakashi needing to fend for himself for dinner because he had a date goddamnit—Kakashi is skeptical, because this is Obito, and he’s willing to wager an empty stomach that whatever bastard has set their eyes on Obito is going to end up needing a trip to the emergency room when they show their creep colors before the second course—and vaguely contemplating whether he should reorganize the self-help section again. It’s always amusing to tell people who ask him where things are in it that he can’t help them, because they need to help themselves, and the joy those moments provide keeps Kakashi more or less sane on lazy days like this.

Sometimes he thinks he should have opened that dog-grooming parlor Gai suggested, rather than a bookstore, but then he remembers the Poodle Incident that followed shortly after and is quietly relieved all over again.

Then, without warning, the door slams open with a force that’s usually reserved for hurricanes, setting the cheerful bell above it clanging like it’s rolling down a mountainside. Kakashi startles, almost dropping his coffee, and looks up just as a pair of hands in fingerless gloves slam down on the counter.

That, Kakashi thinks, eyeing the man as he lowers is book, is a very tight tank top and a lot of very, very pretty golden skin. And muscles. Sweaty muscles, and while one would think Kakashi got more than enough of those living with Rin, who actually enjoys training with Gai and has the six-pack to prove it, these ones are particularly ropy and lovely.

The guy’s face isn’t all that bad either, even if his expression is currently just about the same level as deadly Obito’s was after that especially disastrous date with that Madara creep and the introduction to the quasi-cult he hosted in his basement.

“I swear to god,” the man says, and the words might be even, there might be a flower tucked behind his ear, but the spark in his eyes is very close to incandescent rage, “if you don’t have a book on flower language I’m going to murder my customers.”

Ah. Kakashi closes his book carefully, studying the man. That would explain the apron wrapped around his hips, embroidered with a smiley sunflower and the logo of the flower shop down the block. Kakashi hasn’t ever had reason to go in before, but now that he knows eye candy like this works there, he might just have to change that.

“That depends,” he says, offering the man a lazy smile. “Did you want Victorian flower language, hanakotoba, Hindu flower language…” It takes effort not to laugh at the expression of mingled horror and disgust that crosses the man’s face.

“God damn it,” the florist sighs, dragging his bandana off. Chestnut hair falls into his face, and he smooths it back with a grimace. The muscles in his arm and shoulder flex in ways that kind of make Kakashi want to bite them.

Kakashi isn’t staring. He’s just…observing. That’s it. Definitely not ogling. Or drooling.

“You’ll probably get the most mileage out of Victorian,” he offers, as soon as he can scrape up enough brain cells to do so. “They tend to be the most common, too.” He pushes up, stepping around the desk, and it’s a narrow space filled with displays, so he has no choice but to brush past the florist on his way by.

On an entirely unrelated note, the man has a truly fantastic ass.

“You’re a lifesaver,” the florist sighs, tucking his bandana into his back pocket and following Kakashi up the staircase to the second floor. “I’ve been open a month and I already have people asking for bouquets that are subtly vengeful or possibly interested if you try harder or—fuck, I don’t know. Why not just get a damn card? If I have to Google this shit one more time I’m going to scream.”

Kakashi chuckles, finding the correct book and pulling it down from the shelf. And if he stretches a little more than he might otherwise, making a very subtle show of it, well. No one who would mock him for it is currently here (a true miracle, and Kakashi thanks all his lucky stars for it) so he’s really got nothing to lose.

“Of all the pitfalls of the flower business I had considered, that wasn’t one of them,” he says, turning to offer the hardcover to the man. “This is the only copy I have, and it’s leather-bound and illustrated, so it will cost more. If you want to wait a week, I could order another version.”

The man smiles, and wow. Kakashi can practically feel his brain shorting out. The scowl was hot; the smile, a little crooked and very warm, lighting up his hazel eyes, is nothing short of gorgeous. “This is great, actually,” he says, taking it carefully to avoid touching it with his dirt-streaked gloves, and that is yet another mark in his favor. Kakashi appreciates a man who takes care of books. “I can display it in the store and write it off as for the business. Thank you.”

“Not a problem.” Kakashi wonders if he should push his luck, but for all his muscles the florist doesn’t look the type to deck someone for making a pass, so he decides to take a chance. “You know, I’ve got a one-time-only sale going on right now.”

The man glances up, one brow rising, and damn. Kakashi is bought and sold. Take off the price tag, no returns. He makes his smile as charming as possible—Obito calls it skeevy, but Obito also keeps dating assholes and weirdos, so he doesn’t get an opinion—and offers, “Buy me coffee and you can have it.”

Brown eyes flecked with green and gold widen, and then the man laughs, bright and warm, and grins.

He has dimples. No one should be allowed to be simultaneously that cute and sexy.

“I don’t know,” he says thoughtfully, rubbing a light finger over the engraved cover. “This looks more like a buy-me-dinner book, unless you like really spendy coffee.”

“Well.” Kakashi makes a show of considering it. “I suppose I can make allowances, seeing as I’m the owner. And since it’s in the name of keeping you from murdering people.”

“A civil servant, huh? I like a man who knows his civic duty.” The florist reaches into one of the pockets of his apron and pulls out a pale green card, flipping it between his fingers as he glances up at Kakashi through long lashes. A pause, and then he flips to Kakashi, just the barest edge of a smirk pulling at his mouth. Kakashi catches it—without fumbling, which, score—and the man steps away with a lazy wave. “I close at six. Give me a call or swing by whenever.”

Kakashi watches his retreat—and damn, that is one fantastic ass—and only glances down at the card when the bell on the door chimes again. Genma Shiranui, it reads in neat, darker green lettering. There’s a business number and a cell number both printed under it, a small smudge of dirt on one corner, and it takes a concentrated effort for Kakashi not to beam like a fool.

“Genma,” he repeats out loud, and chuckles a little at his own ridiculousness as he heads down the stairs.

There’s the thirty dollars he was charging for the book sitting in front of the till, with the flower that had bene behind Genma’s ear resting on top. Kakashi picks it up, spinning it between his fingers, and…

He’s read that flower book, and he remembers perfectly well what meaning a white violet holds, even if Genma doesn’t have any idea. What a perfect twist of fate, Kakashi thinks, and snags one of Rin’s teacups for a makeshift vase.

White violets mean let’s take a chance on happiness, and Kakashi is more than willing to do just that.

anonymous asked:

msr 16 or 148?

Dear anon, I ended up using both! It also got long… I’ve been informed the “read more” doesn’t work on mobile so sorry for the insanely long post

16. “I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.” 148. “Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

The first time happens after Donnie Pfaster.

Scully tells Mulder to take her home, please, and without a word he leads her away from the scene, away from the horrors. In the car, he watches her carefully at every turn he makes. They arrive at the motel in silence and she knows this isn’t home, and she knows they won’t get to go home tonight, but she lets him take him inside his room.

“You can have the bed. I'll…” He never finishes his sentence; not that Scully is listening to him anyway. She curls on the bed, tries to make herself so small, so tiny that no one can ever find her here. She winces when the abrasion on her chin comes in contact with the oh so soft pillow. Her eyes close, but the tears find a way through, tainting the white pillowcase.

“Scully, I know you don’t want - how about you take a shower? Maybe I could have a doctor come here and-

“No. Not tonight, Mulder. I promise I’ll get checked out tomorrow. I promise. I’m fine.” She doesn’t lift her head, refuses to look at him; she is done with him pitying her. All she wants now, all she needs, is sleep.

“Shower?” His voice is closer now, but she can’t tell where he is; he is close, and she wants him to be close, as long as she doesn’t have to look directly at him. With her eyes closed, she can almost feel his arms around her still. His hands on her, just holding her to him, being there for her. But he wasn’t there before. Before. The water. In the bathtub.

“No shower.”

“All right.” His voice is a soft sound; so gentle that she is not sure she’s still awake. Silence fills the room and she listens to her own heartbeat, strong and certain; it’s everything she doesn’t feel right now. There’s another sound chiming in; Mulder. A soft rustling tells her that he’s trying to get comfortable somewhere around here. She is not going to ask him to join her in bed. Not this time. So she listens to his tiny noises creating a lullaby that rocks her gently into sleep.

The dream explodes in vivid colors, blinding her, gagging her.

“Breathe, Scully.”

The words reach her, somewhere, but she can’t get away. She’s running, she’s trying, but the hands are around her throat; they’re grabbing at her, closing in around her throat, choking her, and she can’t even scream.

“Just breathe.”

She takes a deep breath and the hands disappear. Her feet stop moving; no more running. Half-conscious, Scully realizes this is a dream. None of this is real. Not the hands around her throat, not the voice. Mulder, she thinks. Even in my dreams, he is right here by my side.

“That’s right, Scully. Just keep breathing.” The voice sounds so real that she almost wonders. Almost. She feels soft warm lips on her cheek, gently kissing her, and she breathes. She just breathes in and out. The lips descend again, on her lips this time, and now she knows this has to be a dream. It has to be.

“Just keep breathing. I’ll be here.”

When it happens again, Scully has already convinced herself that the first time was a dream. The days after the Donnie Pfaster case are hazy at best and the memory of him, of what happened or didn’t happen, in the motel room are pushed aside when Melissa is killed.

Scully wants to go home, just go home, and they won’t let her. Her apartment is still a crime scene. But she can’t face her mother, who pleads with her daughter to leave her alone, please Dana, and Mulder won’t let her go to a hotel. Alone. Without a word she sits in his car and when he gets in it, he stares at her. No words leave his mouth as his eyes plead with her loudly to please, please look at him. She doesn’t.

The car makes a clicking noise, sounds as tired as Scully feels. Any other day she might have told him to have it checked out. Not tonight. Tonight there is nothing to say. Mulder’s hand lands on the small of her back, some things refusing to ever be affected by tragedy, and leads her down the hall to his apartment. She slips through the door before him and settles herself on his couch. The leather, smelling of him, feels familiar and she closes her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath.

Mulder lingers between the rooms for a moment, decides to leave the lights off, and finally joins her on the couch.

“You should have let me go to a hotel,” Scully says and her voice sounds hollow, “There’s no space for two people here.”

“You take the couch,” Mulder gets up again, takes off his jacket, and sits at his desk, “I’m not tired.”

“Mulder, you’re still in recovery and-”

“No, Scully. I’m fine,” he almost spits the words out and she startles, “You take the couch, you sleep. I’ll be fine. I have a bedroom, you know.” She doesn’t know and in the dim light, she can’t tell if he’s lying. He probably is and maybe she should care. She just doesn’t.

Scully takes the neatly folded blanket from the back of the couch and wraps it around her. She turns away from Mulder, facing the wall, but feels him all around her. He’s in the leather, in the blanket and he’s keeping her safe; despite her not wanting him to. Scully closes her eyes tentatively; what is she going to see there in the darkness of her own thoughts? But it’s just blackness, so she leaves them shut and waits for sleep to take her.

When they were little girls Melissa taught her to even out her breathing so it seemed like she was asleep when she wasn’t. Back then it came in handy when their parents checked on them late at night. They’d pretend to be asleep and as soon as the air was clear, they could go back to whispering secrets or reading. As they grew older, Melissa stopped doing it. Instead, she would stare their parents straight in the eye, explaining that she was old enough to stay up. Little Dana was never brave enough.

And she isn’t brave enough today either.

She evens out her breath, tears falling silently, remembering a sister she will never see again. Mulder’s chair squeaks and then nothing; afraid he might have woken her up again, he waits. Scully wills herself to keep breathing deeply. It works. She feels Mulder move, and then he’s there. Leaning over her. She can do this, she reminds herself. If he knows that she’s only pretending, he doesn’t show it. Instead, he tightens the blanket around her. He still hovers over her, as if trying to decide on something. Then he leans down, kisses her temple, her nose and finally his lips graze hers. There’s a faint memory; how can she remember the feel of his mouth when he’s never kissed her before? Just as quickly, he is gone again. In the distance a door clicks.

There’s no way she can pretend this is just a dream.

They never talk about it, of course. Both have signed this unwritten agreement that prevents them from mentioning any of this. Lingering hugs are shoved aside just like almost kisses; just a spur of the moment thing. Nothing to see here, no, this never happened.  

Mulder visits her in the hospital after she points a gun on him, thinking he was in cohorts with the Cancerman. It’s long after visiting hours, but to Mulder that’s no reason to stay away. Scully wakes almost, expecting a nurse, but her eyes immediately close again when she sees him. He stands next to her and gently brushes a strand of stray hair away. Scully knows she should say something, stop this. But the truth is she craves his kiss; craves his touch on her. The moment stretches on and on and on. Scully feels sleep tug at her heavily and finally it wins out, captures her. She dreams of Mulder kissing her softly. In the morning she can’t recall if he ever did, or if he just made sure she was safe.

Scully slips in and out of sleep without control, without any agenda. Her body fights the aggressive invader and it is getting weaker, the illness taking the upper hand. She doesn’t expect Mulder to be in her room in the middle of the night. Crying. He’s crying and her heart, what is left of it, is breaking for him. With him. Scully wants to take his hand in hers and tell him it will be all right. There is no strength left in her and she falls asleep to the sound of his quiet, lonely sobs. She knows he kisses her; she feels it in her soul, feels how it kindles her flame. Even if only for a short moment.

Mulder kisses her cheek one night when she falls asleep on his couch after her vacation to Maine. Alone. Not a vacation either. She’s exhausted, but she’s missed Mulder (she doesn’t tell him that) and she so she lets him order take out. He tells her about possessed dolls and how he can find books about this phenomenon if she’s interested. All she’s interested in right now is being here with him, close to him. His words follow her into her dream for a while before it all gets quiet.

“I missed you.” Dream or reality. A kiss on the cheek. One day, she knows, this will have to end. Not tonight, though, as sleep carries her away again.

Mulder kisses her neck when they’re stuck sharing a bed in Kroner, Kansas. They’re posing as a married couple in Arcadia, California and Mulder sneaks into her bedroom, kissing her knuckles; caressing them one by one with his lips. By the time Christmas comes around, she thinks they might be ready. She thinks this might be it. They almost kill each other, so maybe not. Not quite yet.

It happens in New York.

She should be dead. People keep telling her that she should not be alive and she nods, staring into the other direction. The implications too heavy to face here, now. Mulder flies out to visit her (another reminder how close she’s gotten, once again) and hardly ever leaves her bedside.

“I’ll kick his ass if you want me to.” They’re sharing her jello, because Mulder looks like he hasn’t eaten (or slept) in days and Scully is beginning to get sick of it already.

“I can kick his ass myself, thank you.”

“Not right now you can’t. I’ll do it, Scully. Just say the word.”

He calls her mother for her, explains everything. When she wakes up he’s staring at her, his eyes heavy with worry, but also with love. She smiles back at him, silently thanking him for being there. For doing it all for her.

He makes his move the third night she’s there. The nurses are well acquainted with him now; they know they can tell him to leave, but he’ll be back as soon as they turn their backs on him. So they no longer try and just greet him, smile even. Mulder is, after all, quite charming if he wants to be. Scully, too, is used to him being there day and night. She tells him to get some sleep from time to time, just leave her alone for a while, but he is adamant about staying.

“You only get into trouble when I’m not around.”

It’s late when Scully feels tiredness wash over her. She yawns and Mulder looks up from the book he’s reading.

“Do you want me to turn off the lights?”

“No, I don’t mind. Good night, Mulder.”

“Good night, Scully.”

For a while, he reads. Scully hears him turn pages every once in a while. She’s tired, but she just can’t sleep. She’s never been a good patient, and all she wants is to go home and sleep in her own bed. Her thoughts distract her for a moment. The book is closed softly and something about this feels different than all the other times. Mulder appears beside her, his body radiating warmth, and when he leans down she can smell his scent. So much Mulder. He kisses her eyelids softly and then brushes her lips. She almost responds; almost opens her mouth to him. But before she can react at all, he is leaving again, and this time it’s not enough.

“Why do you only kiss me when I’m sleeping?”

She hears his sharp intake of breath. Scully sits up and bed and watches him, frozen to the spot at the end of her bed. His shoulders slump and he shoots her a lopsided grin that turns into a sad smile.

“You never let me take care of you when you’re awake.”

“You never asked.”

“Are you sure, Scully? All those times you threw your ‘I’m fine’ line at me. I know you don’t want me to see you as weak. Scully, I’ve never considered you weak. Not once. And I never will. You’re the strongest person I know. I just wish sometimes… that you’d let me be there for you. I never planned to kiss you like this. Wait, you knew about this?”

“I might have been awake once or twice.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Mulder sits down on her bed carefully. She takes her hand in his, feeling confident now.

“I didn’t want you to stop.” She admits, her eyes meeting his.

“So we could have been doing this for real?” His grin is back and now she’s wearing a matching one.

“There’s still time.”

“Scully, can I kiss you?”

“You never asked before.” She tells him, leaning forward slightly and taking the decision from him. She knows the feeling of his soft lips already; it’s nothing compared to the feel of his tongue sliding into her mouth, meeting hers for the first time.

If this is a dream, she doesn’t want to wake up ever again.

hannahtheblah  asked:

I came across your stuff (totally in love) and I'm just... a bit... confused... about you and Rob B? Like, how did that entire... thing start... ? (so many ellipses) (*「・ω・)ン?

thanks! BUT I DON’T KNOW

so to finally figure it out, i’m going to sit down and actually go back to The Beginning and create a brief timeline wherein i try to work out what happened and when SO PREPARE YOURSELF (i’ll put it under a break for ur consideration)

Keep reading

If You Wonder

Originally posted by j-miki

Im Jaebum x Reader

Based off: If You Wonder by Jeff BernatI strongly suggest you listen to it, it’s honestly the sweetest song ever.

Genre: Fluff/a little angsty?? (maybe not? I don’t know lol)

A/N: I don’t usually write since I’m pretty self conscious and critical of my non-existent creative abilities but this is one of my favourite songs and the idea has been rolling around in my head for a while so I figured I’d put pen to paper and see how it goes.



If you wonder why


Why I love to give you flowers on a Wednesday

12 dozen roses at your door


You opened the door to your apartment early in the morning only to be met with an assemblage of roses shoved into your face. The arrangement was so large you could barely see the person behind it, the only aspect giving them away was the peek of their shoes from underneath, “I’m sorry about last night…” you heard a mumble from behind the flowers and suppressed a giggle. You grabbed the bouquet from your boyfriend, almost tumbling backwards since you didn’t realise how heavy it actually was.

Keep reading

Found this in my drafts**:

*clears throat* May I present the idea:
~✨Ella Enchanted au✨~

  • •Laurent is from a very well-to-do kingdom
  • •Auguste died (idc how)
  • •Akielos took a bunch of land after that
  • •When Laurent was born his aunt Vannes gave him the “gift” of obedience
  • •When Laurent lost his family he was left to live with his Uncle and his uncle’s men (man? Idk how to fit the evil step-sisters in so like twin Govarts??? LOL)
  • •His uncle tells him that he isn’t allowed to protect/hang out with Nicaise

Keep reading

Hidden Talents

Pairing: Bts x reader

Genre: Fluff

Request:  Hiya. Could you maybe do a bts x reader (or any of them x reader) where they find out she plays the violin? And maybe like the hear her playing one day and they were in shock standing there listening, not realizing she could play? Thx babes 😘😘 ——– Could you do a jungkook x reader where they are cousins 

(I combined two requests because I couldn’t get any ideas for the second one so I hope you don’t mind.)

(Credit to original owner of gif)


Despite being family with Jungkook, you very rarely got to see him because of his schedule but you both kept in constant contact and always remembered to update each other on important things. You never even had the chance to be at one of his concerts because every time he offered you a ticket, your work would call you in and say you wouldn’t be allowed off for “some concert” and then not believe you when you would try explain your cousin was the one performing.

However as time dragged on, you missed him and you were desperate to show him and his friends all you had learned on your violin and decided you would surprise them at K-Con with a cover of one of their songs, you decided on Spring day and after you had come up with the idea you had booked everything that had needed to be done within the hour from pure excitement.

When you arrived at your hotel within the next few days, you got a text from Jungkook saying him and the boys were going to come and see you and then take you with them to the Con themselves as they wanted to spend as much time as possible with you. You were surprised that they were able to make such a call like that even if you were family but you weren’t going to complain, so you packed your bag for the Con and made sure to tuck your violin away wanting everything to be a complete surprise.

The boys stayed true to their word and came and picked you up, as soon as Jungkook had seen you he had picked you up in a bear hug and swung you around as Namjoon politely took your bag and put it in the van, when you were let down you were met with more hugs and excited greetings from the rest of the boys,who apparently were just as happy to see you. You all climbed into the van, Yoongi had offered to sit with your bag on his lap, ignoring any protest from you since the van had literally no space left in it. He could however as they drove to the venue feel something particularly hard in the bag jabbing him in the leg, He opted to ignore it however, not feeling bothered to pry though his curiosity had been piqued.

When you arrived at the venue, you all got to go through a different entrance and you sadly how to split from the boys to go practice before you opened for them.

You were given a relatively small room but it was enough space for you to practice as you pulled out your violin and sat it under your chin and made sure it was in tune. You hadn’t shut the door the whole way so the music carried down the hallway and you shut your eyes, getting lost in the music and you were completely oblivious to Yoongi standing in the doorway watching you, he hurried away and to where the boys were warming up and dragged them all the where you were, where they all stood in complete utter surprise. The last time you had seen them, you had barely even touched any instruments but here you were playing their music with a grace and beauty that they had never seen before. 

You were completely wrapped in your music so when loud applause filled the once quiet room it made you jump. You spun around in time to catch a hug of Jungkook “Holy shit, that was amazing, you are amazing. Why did you never tell me?” He asked.

You blushed and shrugged and you were suddenly being overwhelmed with questions and when  stagehand came by to give you a five minute call all the boys begrudgingly left but with full intention of watching you side stage. All except for Yoongi who stood there with a sight smile on his face “Hey thanks for showing me a side of my music I had never heard.” Was all he said before turning and disappearing down the hall, leaving you. Bright red and slightly confused at what just happened.

You were slightly let down that the boys didn’t get to see your surprise the way you planned but you were happy they saw it in any fashion. You had done what you had set out to do.

anonymous asked:

My English teacher left me very confused when learning about Romeo and Juliet. He said that it wasn't a love story because they didn't love each other; Juliet just basically used Romeo, but I don't know what to think. Can you please explain to me if it's a love story, tragedy, or both?

Did your teacher say that Juliet used Romeo? How rude.

The first thing we have to remember is that the feud is the exponent of an unhealthy ideology that promotes violence, hatred, prejudice, and brutal misogyny. Don’t ever forget the world they lived in. Romeo and Juliet are not normal teenagers living in a normal world and making stupid decisions. They are children whose mental health ends up destroyed by the ideals of their families. I just won’t stand anyone who refers to them as ‘dumb’ because it’s a very insulting way of dismissing the destructiveness of social oppression and abuse. It’s so evident that their families caused their deaths that at the end of the play nobody has the guts to blame them for their own deaths and dismiss their emotions as shallow or dishonest. What they have done is too monstrous for them to deny. When both patriarchs find the young lovers dead together in the crypt they see the wrong in their actions and take responsibility for it. They know they killed their children. It was not teenage folly that ruined Romeo and Juliet. It was a sick society that glorified violence and prejudice.

Perhaps your male teacher is annoyed by the fact that Juliet hardly fits in the role of a sixteenth-century obedient wife who goes along with whatever her husband has to say. On the contrary, Juliet has a voice of her own. It is evident from the first conversation between the lovers that she has a very particular, specific way of thinking, and which doesn’t necessarily match that of Romeo. For instance, she gently mocks his stereotyped courtship when she says “you kiss by the book.” I would say she is a far better poet than him—he actually learns from her. Think about the way she corrects him when he tries to swear his love by the moon. She literally rationalizes everything. Romeo needs to get on her level. Later on, he will ask her to “sweeten with thy breath / This neighbour air, and let rich music’s tongue / Unfold the imagined happiness that both / Receive in either by this dear encounter,” to which Juliet answers that “conceit, more rich in matter than in words, / Brags of his substance, not of ornament”. You see, she doesn’t always agree with him, and she presents her own points of view resolutely. She is the one to give lessons.

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anonymous asked:

Hi! I wanna say I really miss your writing and finding you :( do you plan on writing anything for hobi I just wonder? Also I wanted to ask for advice on learning Korean- what books are best to start with for alphabet and grammar? Some tips on how to learn quicker/consistently ? I work a lot and don't have much free time but I really want to learn but I find looking online a bit sporadic and disorganised so I wondered if you had any good tips and book recs for it :) - hobi anon

Hello. I just wrote a whole bunch of stuff here when my browser crashed and I lost the entire thing. So here I go again. -_-

I don’t currently have anything planned for Hobi and I haven’t started the Jimin oneshot I do have planned because I am very busy with a commission and need to get it done. However, the best way is to send me a prompt involving Hobi and help me get an idea to write about!

As for Korean I have been learning for about a year and a half now and I have by far found these books the most useful. You can find them on amazon but I linked you to the actual site. He also has a youtube channel where he gives lessons as well. His books go over how to write Hangul, Korean grammar and the different forms of speech (honourific, informal, casual, etc.) They’re super easy to follow and he includes work sections in it. 

As for online sources, I like this site. If you type in a verb it will show you all the conjugations for it. I like using it to double-check if I did it right but I do not recommend you use it to conjugate verbs for you. 

In the beginning I used this site to help with pronunciation. I use this memorisation site every day for about twenty minutes. It’s important to study every day, even if only for about twenty to thirty minutes. It’s a lot more effective than studying once a week. I also made this post a while ago about Batchim sound shifts. 

As for advice I can give, what I really recommend is studying every day for at least half an hour. You need the repetition or else you won’t take things to memory. It’s just really important to make sure you make a schedule and stick with it. 

Study from multiple sources, one source isn’t always going to be a perfect fit. A friend of mine uses the books Talk To Me in Korean and she really likes it. Look up youtube channels or even other books. Having multiple resources is always better. I like this youtube channel because he explained how to pronounce ㄹ in a way no one ever had to me before that just made everything make sense. 

Download Korean podcasts or find them online and just listen to them. You don’t need to understand them but it will help you learn because you’re just letting yourself listen to the way the language sounds. This is far more effective than watching Dramas. Sometimes dramas have unrealistic language used in them and you want to wait to do that until you are at least conversational or more of an intermediate learner. 

When you feel you can hold up a little bit of a conversation I highly recommend the app Hello Talk. I have met most of my Korean friends using this app just looking for people to practice with. It can be a little intimidating at first but just remember people are there to learn too and are likely to make mistakes just like you. Everyone I have spoken to is very kind. So don’t be afraid, it’s a really great app. The best way to learn is forcing yourself into using Korean, so talking to people regularly is honest the quickest way to learn and the best. Books can only help so much. 

So that is all the advice I have. Good luck on your studies! I hope I helped.  

Woman of Letters - Part Three

A/N: Part 3. Thank you to my wonderful beta @thorne93.

Summary:  When Louisa finds an old, unopened letter from her great grandfather, she leaves her old life behind to go search for a man named Henry Winchester, hoping he has some answers for her. What she finds is beyond her wildest imagination, but she is determined to continue her family’s legacy.

Characters: Dean, Sam, Louisa (OFC), Cas

Warnings: None i think..

Wordcount:1559

*not my GIF*

Originally posted by cheerfulsammy

Sam watched her as she ran her fingers over the backs of the books in the library, her blue eyes locked on the words while her lips mouthed the words as she read the titles.

She had been there for almost a week now, reading, learning. Sam had offered her a room, but she had insisted on staying at the motel in town. Louisa came by the bunker every morning, stayed for a few hours, left for lunch before coming back for a few hours. Dean was always quick to retreat to his room whenever she showed up, not coming back out before she was gone. He still refused to have any part of this… whatever it was that her and Sam had going on.

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Dream pt.2

Hi! Love your stories! I have a newt request if you fancy it? The reader is marrying a man she doesn’t love (arranged marriage or she doesn’t remember newt because she was oblivated) but newt is in love with her and she with him. He asks her not to go through with it and kisses her, they end up sleeping together then Newt asks her to come away with him and travel instead and she agrees

THERE WILL BE A PART 3

Part 1 Part 3

I woke up at three in the afternoon, ate 3 popsicles, and now I’m watching power rangers jungle fury 

Tags- @danilovesstuff @i-ship-it-ironically

Warnings- Sin(sex), yelling.


“Newt?” 

You stand shocked, the man from your dream was standing in front of you. You both stood silent, staring into each other’s eyes. The jingle of a bell snapped your focus. 

“Y/n there you are! I went back to our apartment and you weren’t there” Your fiance walks over to you and kisses you. You smile and hug him, he looks over at everyone, 

“Who are these people?” he asks, mostly staring at Newt. 

“Um, these are some new friends of mine. Jacob, Queenie, Tina, and Newt” 

You don't know how but the names came with you. Newt’s face was laced with pain. You didn’t know why or how but you knew you knew them. 

“Well nice to meet you” Jason says. He turns back to you.

“I’m so sorry Y/n but I have a very important meeting tonight, I know I promised we would spend some time together before the wedding but I can’t afford to miss this meeting.” Jason says. 

“Oh, It’s okay, we’ll spend time together on our wedding day anyway.” you say. 

“Thank you so much sweetheart” Jasons says. 

He kisses your cheek before running out the door. You turn back to everyone, Newt is looking away while Queenie and Tina are staring at you. 

“I’m sorry but, how do I know your names?” you ask in confusion. Queenie and Tina look at each other with concerned looks before looking back at you. 

“It’s a long story but, it’s nothing now” they say quickly. You were about to question more when Newt interrupted you. 

“Who was that”. you look at Newt, his eyes filled with emotion. 

“M-my fiance, we’re getting married in two days” you tell him. Newt tenses up, his grip on his case grows tighter. 

“I-I I got to go I’m sorry” Newt says as he rushes out the door. 

“Newt wait” Tina says running after him. 

“Queenie, how do I know Newt and Tina? How do I know Tina’s name? How do I know these things?” you cry out. You were so confused.Queenie puts her hand on your shoulder. 

“I’m not supposed to tell you, Its against the law but…When have I ever listened to the law.” 

“So you’re telling me that you, Tina, and Newt are wizards and Me and Jacob are, No majs? and we went on some huge adventure looking for Newts creatures that got loose and there was this big battle in a subway station?” You ask in disbelief. Queenie nods her head. 

“That’s it, I’ve gone insane” you mumble standing up and pacing. 

“Y/n, I know you’ve had dreams about this. I see it in your mind. I see your memories” Queenie tells you. 

“What about Newt? he seemed so broken when I told him I was getting engaged. Did something happen between us?” You question. Queenie’s look turns to sadness. 

“You too were in love” she whispers. 

“W-what? I, I. What am I supposed to do? I'm getting married in two days!” you exclaim. 

“You don’t have to do anything honey, it’s up to you” she says. 

“Can, can I talk to him?” you ask. 

“Of course, come with me. back to our apartment. Tina might be rather mad at me but ill take you to our apartment” Queenie says sweetly. 

“Queenie! What were you thinking! Y/n was supposed to be obliviated and you think it was a good idea to tell them about us!” Tina yells at her sister. 

w“She remembered Tina! I saw it in her memories!” Queenie yelled back. You shrunk back in the corner. 

“I-I just wanted to say hi to Newt” you squeak. Tina looks at you and sighs. 

“He’s down in his case y/n, I miss you I really do but, this could get us all in trouble with MACUSA” Tina tells you. 

You nod understandingly and walk to Newts case. You open the case and jump in. You crash into newts case and sprawl out on the floor. You groan in pain, I guess your memory didn’t remember the stairs. Newt comes rushing in, his eyes widen when he sees you on the floor in pain. 

“Y/N! what are you doing here?” He asks. 

You look over at him, his hair is a mess and he doesn’t have his long coat on, instead he just has his white shirt and his bowtie on. You quickly stood up but your leg gave out. Newt ran and caught you before you hit the ground again. he sets you on a crate and quickly makes a potion for you. 

“Queenie told me everything” you state. Newt freezes for a second before going back to the potion. 

“Did she now?” Newt asks, slight panic in his voice. 

“She told me that we-” you were cut off by Newt handing you a vile. 

“Drink this, the pain will go away” he says. You slowly drink it. You watch Newt reorganize his things. 

“She told me we were in love” you say. Newt slams a book on the table causing you to jump. 

“It was nothing” he says coldly.

“Well it certainly seems like something” you reply. There was a sickening silence between you two. 

“Are you happy?” he asks. 

“What?” 

“I said, Are you happy? with him” Newt says. 

“I-I am” you reply slowly. 

“Then what happened between us doesn’t matter anymore.” The sharpness in his voice is gone but replaced with sadness. 

“But I need to know, What happened between us Newt?” You push. 

“No you dont need to know. You’re perfectly happy with your fiance.” Newt says, not even looking at you. 

“It would be best if you just leave. Forget about me and forget about what Queenie told you and just go. Go live your life.” He tells you. 

“No I need to know what happened!” you say raising your voice. You step closer to Newt whos back is still turned. 

“Please just tell me.” you beg. 

“Do you really not remember anything that happened between us?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. You stay silent. 

“You don’t remember the kisses, the laughs, the hugs, the time we first time we met, the first time I showed you my creatures, the first time we said I love you. I was madly in love with you y/n. A small part of me was hoping you would remember me. A small part hoped that the rain wouldn’t wash away all the memories we shared.” Newt’s voice cracked. 

“I-I had dreams, that’s how I remembered your name but…I don’t remember anything else” you admit. 

“Then I’ll show you.” Newt says. 

He turns around and pulls you into a sudden kiss. his arms wrap around your waist. You freeze, you should pull away, yell at Newt then walk away but, something seemed so familiar about his lips. They felt right. Newt pulls away, basically pushing you away. 

“I-I’m so sorry. I know I shouldn’t have done that. Your engaged and you don’t even remember me. I think you should leave Y/n” Newt breathes, stepping back. You stand still. You bring your hand to your lips. 

“Newt…” 

“Please, just forget what happened. Go back to your fiance. Please love” he says quietly. 

“No one’s ever called me love before” you murmur. 

“That’s what I would call you” he says. You walk closer to Newt, he steps away until his back hits the wall. 

“Y/n, you should really go” he whispers. 

“I want to remember you Newt. I want you to show me how much you love me. Please” you whisper in his ear. 

“A-are-” You cut Newt off by smashing your lips onto his. 

His hands go to your waist, gripping like it’s the last time he’s going to see you again. Which was the case in his mind. Your hands grasp at his hair, tugging and pulling. Newt lets out a groan and walks you to the bed in the shed. You fall back and Newt climbs on top of you. 

“Y/n, are you sure about this” he says in between kisses. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything” you tell him. 

With that reassurance, Newt kisses down your face to your neck. 

“Newt” you groan out. 

He kisses and bites at your neck. You reach down to his shirt and start to unbutton his shirt. He takes it off and throws it to the side of the room. He grabs onto the edges of your shirt you nod and Newt takes off your shirt. You run your hands over his chest and move your hands down to his pants. You take off his belt and pull his pants down, he kicks off his pants and underwear. You flip the two of you so you’re on top. You start grinding down on him and leave kisses all over his chest. 

“Oh Y/n” Newt moans. 

He flips you again and you take off your pants. You take off your underwear and bring Newt in for another kiss. You’re both panting and groaning. He grabs a condom from the table drawer and puts it on while you kiss down his back. He lines up and looks at you. 

“Newt please” you beg. 

Newt pushes into you. You moan and arch your back in ecstasy. Newt thrusts slowly, wanting you to feel nothing but pleasure. He leans down and kisses you. His kiss is fueled by love. In your mind, you knew it was wrong but being with Newt felt so right. He thrusts faster with your approval, he moans into your mouth. He’s in a pure state of bliss. 

“N-newt, I think i-i’m-” 

“Me too love” he groans into your mouth. 

You close your eyes and let out a loud moan as you release. Newt groans into your neck as he releases inside the condom. You lay there breathing heavily. Newt takes off the condom and throws it in the trash. He kisses you again and lays next to you. He 

“Y/n” Newt starts. 

“In the morning, please. Let’s face the consequences in the morning. I think I’m in love with you again Newt” you tell him. 

“I never stopped loving you Y/n” he replies. 

You smile and kiss his nose before burying your face in his chest. He wraps his arms around your waist and breathes in your scent. He missed you so much and e had you again. He didn’t know what was going to happen in the morning but he didn’t care. 

He wanted this night to last forever, he wanted to stay like this forever. He decided to stop worrying about the morning and just enjoy the present. After all, Worrying means you suffer twice. 


I have sinned again but oh well, I tried my hardest to make it gender neutral. Also, ive had way more popsicles lol and im considering starting an RP blog. although i dont know if I should rp just as newt or as other people too.

I want a gekkan shoujo fic where like, the text conversations between Mikorin and Mayu, Mayu knows from the very first night because Mikorin is a dumb and he can’t lie and he just.

you can call me mikorin if you like

all my friends do

not that you have to, or anything

it’s not like it would make me happy!

… but you could, if you want to.

please forget i said anything.

and Mayu’s just like,

cute.

and Mikorin sits there having a small heart attack, until his phone chimes again,

mikorin is cute

and pretty much his heart explodes, because what is Mayumayu saying, does she think he’s cute, is it the name that’s cute?!?!?!?!? his delicate heart can’t handle this, so then he’s just like,

Keep reading

The Snape Dialogues: Our New Celebrity
  • Time: Harry's first year, after that first Potions class before dinner
  • Place: Gryffindor common room
  • Students: Harry, Ron and Hermione sit around a square, low table where they are doing their homework - Hermione is studious but Harry is brooding, and Ron is doodling
  • Hermione: You've been studying the flames in the fire forever, Harry. What are you thinking of?
  • Harry: Potions.
  • Ron: *looks up* Snape hates you mate.
  • Hermione: *indignant* He does not, Ron!
  • Ron: Yes he does, Hermione. He was picking on Harry all through class and if looks could... *Harry is standing, stares a bit more in decision* Harry?
  • Harry: I have to go talk to Professor Snape. I'll meet you later at dinner. *before Ron can stop him or Hermione can protest he has gone through the portrait door, and vanished*
  • Place: Down in the dungeons, Professor Snape's Office.
  • Snape: *glances up from his paperwork as there is a knock on his door* Come. *as the door opens he is surprised to see that annoying first year Gryffindor that has plagued his thoughts since the boy's impending arrival* Potter...
  • Harry: I'm sorry to bother you, Professor Snape, but I think we need to talk.
  • Snape: *points to one of two ladder-back wooden chairs in front of his desk - Harry sits then squirms to find a comfortable place* Stop fidgeting, Potter. That chair offers no comfort to my visitors. Now, why have you interrupted me?
  • Harry: *hesitates as he clasps his fingers tautly in his lap* I'm not a bad student, Professor Snape. *the older wizard does not answer other than a raised eyebrow which tells Harry his teacher does not believe him* I know I couldn't answer anything in class but... *lifts his book bag to his lap and starts rummaging around in it then takes out his Potions notebook - he pushes it across the desk* First page, Sir. It's new.... uhm... please look?
  • Snape: *picks up the notebook and flips the cover to reveal the first page - Harry has written upon it with somewhat blotchy letters but a steady hand* That is my speech word for word. Did someone write this down for you, Potter?
  • Harry: *sighs and shakes his head* No, Sir, that's my writing. Your speech was brilliant and I wanted to remember it.
  • Snape: Indeed. *closes the notebook and puts it down upon the surface of his desk* Then perhaps you will enlighten me as to why you had not read the first chapter of today's lesson.
  • Harry: *hesitates and shifts even though nothing can make him feel comfortable - the Potions Master simply waits - finally he speaks in a soft voice* My... wouldn't... read...
  • Snape: *scowls* Potter, speak up or I will send you away for wasting my time.
  • Harry: *nods nervously, then blurts* My Uncle wouldn't let me read any of my textbooks. He locked them in the basement after I came home from Diagon Alley.
  • Snape: That sounds a bit extreme. Were you being punished for some infraction, Potter.
  • Harry: *knows that his teacher is thinking the worst of him* Always, Professor Snape. My relatives don't like me and they like magic even less. Headmaster Dumbledore sent my aunt and uncle a note with my letter telling them I had to go but they still tried to stop that from happening.
  • Snape: *leans forward and puts his elbows upon the surface of his desk - he is intrigued, now* Tell me, Mr. Potter, of the day Hagrid was sent to fetch you to take you to Diagon Alley.
  • Harry: *shifts again, coughs once nervously, and is surprised to find a glass of water hovering in front of him - he takes it and drinks* Thank you, Sir. *a wave of his teacher's hand and the water is Vanished* Well, when the first letter for me showed up by owl my Uncle burned it. It just kind of exploded at that point. By the end of the day there were lots of owls outside the house and letters were exploding through the windows and down the chimney. My uncle grabbed me and my cousin and we got in the car where Uncle Vernon drove us all the way to the ocean and rented us a tiny cabin practically out in the ocean. Aunt Petunia was sure no one would find us and my cousin and I were sent to bed. *he drew in a deep breath and then related how he woke at midnight to celebrate his birthday and then Hagrid arrived, yelled at his aunt and uncle, gave Dudley a pigtail, and took him away to London* Diagon Alley was just brilliant, Sir! *he smiles*
  • Snape: For any first year, be they Muggle-born or wizard-born it is a truly magical sight, Mr. Potter. Now, relate to me what happened when you returned home.
  • Harry: *sighs knowing he would have to reveal things he didn't even want to think about* Uncle Vernon locked me in my cupboard and locked my new trunk and all of my stuff in the basement. Hedwig, my owl, got away and I think she flew to Hogwarts. So, you see I would have read all of my textbooks just like Hermione did but... I couldn't.
  • Snape: You had a few hours before classes began today, Mr. Potter. Why did you not read anything in that time?
  • Harry: *fidgeting once more* I don't want to get my new friend in trouble.
  • Snape: *sits back and unclasps his hands* Then, there is no more to say, Potter...
  • Harry: *grimaces* Fine! All right... I was going to read some of my textbooks and Hermione even suggested I could read with her but Ron took my books and hid them and told me we didn't have to do anything until we got homework. Please don't punish Ron, Sir, he'll stop being my friend.
  • Snape: *peers at the boy* And, that is important to you, is it not? Having your friends. *Harry nods miserably - sure that Ron will never be friends with him again* Technically, your friend is correct in that you really need not do anything before the formal start of term. *leans slightly forward* However, we teachers suggest that you prepare for classes before term starts which is one of the reasons we send your letters a month in advance of the term's start. *Harry is about to interrupt but his teacher holds up his hand* Yes, Mr. Potter, I do understand that your guardians were averse to you even having your Hogwarts things near. And, I should like to understand more about this 'cupboard' of yours.
  • Harry: *looks down at clasped hands* Uhm... you heard me say that out loud, huh?
  • Snape: *smirks* My hearing is quite good, Mr. Potter. The 'cupboard' issue aside for now, allow me to ask you this... if you liked my speech before class, what did you hope Potions would be like before you attended.
  • Harry: *brightens* Well, that's real magic, isn't it? Hermione told me that Potions isn't just stirring a bunch of ingredients together. It's using your own magic to make the potion what it is. I told her it was like the Chemistry I saw on television. It's science. It's discovering how to make neat things to help others. *deflates visibly* It... uhm... sorta doesn't seem that way now.
  • Snape: *rises from his desk* Follow me, Mr. Potter.
  • Harry: *obediently and curiously follows his teacher through an inner door to the Potions classroom - the Potions Master indicates to the Boy-Who-Lived to sit at his work table while he Summons a book from his desk* This is Daimon Grayling's Book of Potions. It contains recipes for a variety of potions I use beyond the textbooks in all of my classes. I should like you to turn to page 94, Mr. Potter.
  • Harry: *takes the book, notes that it is stained and well-worn, and then he turns to the requested page* Hush-A-Bye Elixir. It sounds pretty. What does it do?
  • Snape: It was created by a young Hogwarts student for her NEWTs in 1977 and it is intended to be a gentle sleep aid for colicky babies. I would like for you to brew it, perfectly, without my input. All the ingredients are in the cabinet and the recipe details precisely what you need to do as you are brewing. I have lesson plans to go over so I will be at my desk. Only call upon me if you are in serious need of help. Begin, Mr. Potter.
  • Harry: *watches as the professor leaves his side so he reads the recipe, picks up the book, and gathers the ingredients he will need - soon he is brewing*
  • Time: An Hour later
  • Harry: *a smile fills his face as his potion fades from a muddy blue to a soft - pillowy - blue*
  • Snape: Very good, Mr. Potter.
  • Harry: *his head jerks up - he was not expecting his teacher behind him* I did it, Professor Snape.
  • Snape: *actually smiles - sort of* Indeed, Mr. Potter. You did acceptably well.
  • Harry: *beams and looks at his potion* Thank you, Sir. Uhm... Professor? I know I've never heard of her but who was it that created this potion?
  • Snape: *sighs wistfully* A very talented potions student, Mr. Potter. Her name was Lily Evans. *Harry's jaw drops, and his teacher stretches out a finger to tap the boy's mouth closed* Your mother, Mr. Potter. *he hands the happily shocked student a note and Harry takes it slowly* You have missed dinner. This gives you permission to receive your meal in your common room. Clean up and then you are dismissed, Mr. Potter. *returns to his desk*
  • Harry: *quickly cleans his work table and then bottles the potion then takes it to his teacher* Can anyone use this potion, Professor Snape?
  • Snape: *takes the large bottle* I will put the Hush-A-Bye into single dose ampoules which I will send to Slug & Jiggers in your name. That should provide you with a tidy allowance for whatever you wish to use the gold for.
  • Harry: *beyond over-joyed* Thank you, Sir. Uhm... yeah... really... thank you! *turns and trots to the door of the classroom but then he stops, turns, and turns a serious expression upon his face* You aren't going to change towards me in class and stuff, aren't you, Professor?
  • Snape: *shakes his head slowly* I cannot change, Mr. Potter. However, you are invited to bring questions and concerns to me before dinner. Use a Disillusionment Charm, though, and no one shall ever know.
  • Harry: *nods - and then leaves*
  • Snape: *studies the potion then looks towards the closed door* I will know about your 'cupboard' next time, Mr. Potter.

anonymous asked:

Victor has literally never been compassionate, respectful, or genuine towards downworlders so,,yeah,,,not a good heart

did you miss the times where he was supposedly threatening various people and all he could come up with was the equivalent of “u can’t see ur friends anymore”.

but you’re right in one aspect. yes, he’s racist. he expresses violent prejudice towards downworlders and he dehumanizes them.

but who the fuck doesn’t? if you think that’s legitimate grounds to completely disregard a character without giving them a chance at redemption, then here’s a handy list of racist characters who you must now do just that with:

  • lydia branwell –– remember when she was 100% willing to have a downworlder tortured and most likely killed. remember when her racism went so far as to almost de-rune a peer simply for standing up for downworlders. remember when she made degrading comments about magnus to raj.
  • clary fray –– remember when she united vampires and werewolves to free meliorn and said “tonight we’re all downworlders” as if she, a shadowhunter, could ever in her life understand what it’s like to be a downworlder. remember how she’s multiple times referred to magnus as “warlock” in front of him/directly to him and thereby effectively dehumanized him.
  • jocelyn fray –– remember when she said “the clave can be reasoned with, the wolves can’t”, denying the werewolves any agency whatsoever as well as denying them the basic right to grieve a lost pack member, and simultaneously praising the totalitarian racist regime as “reasonable”. remember when she found out her son had demon blood in him (which downworlders also have) and later used that knowledge as a valid reason to kill him*.
  • alec lightwood ––– remember when he said downworlders are slaves to their impulses. remember when he killed a bunch of vampires and laughed along with izzy. remember when he was willing to torture a downworlder and would have done so if he hadn’t been physically wrestled to the ground.
  • izzy lightwood –– remember when she used slurs, humiliation and physical violence to establish her dominance over a downworlder who was just trying to avenge his murdered niece. remember when she killed vampires and laughed along with alec. remember when she and clary went to the hotel dumort and raphael wouldn’t give them camille because it would endanger his family, so she knocked thru a wall and let sunlight into the hotel which could’ve easily killed multiple vampires, and then proceeded to mock their leader.
  • jace lightwood –– remember when jace slutshamed magnus (and was potentially biphobic too depending on how you read the situation) after hearing about him having had a female partner in the past. remember when jace said a part of him thinks all downworlders should die**. 


this is by no means an exhaustive list of these characters expressing prejudice towards downworlders and i didn’t even include the characters that are already more or less considered Bad by fandom, for example maryse and robert lightwood, and especially valentine.

tl;dr: all shadowhunters are racist. they are racist because they are brought up in a racist, white supremacist (or whatever the in-universe equivalent is) society and they are brought up to blindly follow the rules of their totalitarian government. if you are only focusing on criticizing victor, a black man, while ignoring the violently racist actions & words of literally every other shadowhunter in the series, then that’s antiblack.


*within the books, as far as i know it’s not made clear why downworlders have perfectly regular personalities and usually as good of a balance between good and evil as humans do despite their demon blood, but a shadowhunter having some demon blood in him immediately makes him a purely satanically cruel person that only deserves death. either way, if we think of the allegory shadowhunter/downworlder standing in for white people/non-white people, then it’s surely racist to say that having “downworlder blood” means you’re better off dead.

**just as jocelyn’s comment was largely influenced by her being abused by valentine, so is jace’s comment. because of that i blame valentine for this more so than jace who is the victim of said abuse, but i still think the comment shows the inherent racism in being a shadowhunter

you get into an accident while jai’s on tour

requested by: anonymous

You woke up, sore and tired, surrounded by the near overwhelming smell of strong disinfectant and the sound of your heartbeat reverberating throughout the room with mechanical beeps. You opened your eyes and a boring, tiled ceiling came into focus.

Needless to say, you’d had a pretty rough day.

You remembered how you had gotten into a car accident on the way home from a movie with some of your friends, but you didn’t remember much of the accident itself. It had all happened too fast in a blur of bending metal and shattering glass. What you really knew was that you felt like you had been hit by a bus. Which wasn’t completely true, but still.

The murmuring of people in the room brought you out of your drowsy state, and you let out a small noise of displeasure at the ache in your bones. “Y/N!” Your closest friend cheered, and your eyes flickered over to where she was sitting at your bedside. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” She commented.

You gave a small smile. “Hey.” You croaked.

“Why is it that you always get hurt the worst with things like this?” She asked, and you laughed lightly. You had been friends with her since you were children and she was right. Trampoline mishaps, sledding accidents, and falling off of chairs and tables always seemed to end up with you with a bad cut or even a broken bone. Maybe it was karma for something that you weren’t aware of, or maybe you were just really really clumsy and had the worst luck.

A nurse walked into the room and checked your vitals while your friends and you made quiet conversation. After that was through, the nurse, named Taylor, asked a series of questions asking what you remembered and how you were feeling on a scale of 1 - 10 and all that. She explained that you had a pretty nasty concussion, some bruised ribs, a shoulder that was dislocated, and that you were lucky to get off as well as you did. She told you that you would need to spend a night or two just to make sure that you were alright and so that they could monitor you for a while longer.

After the nurse left, your friend handed you your phone. “Jai’s called you like ten times, I think you might want to call him back.” She said, and then proceeded to corral everyone out of the room so that you could have some privacy.

Jai’s phone rang only once before he picked up. “Oh my God, Y/N?” He asked, and you could tell that he was panicking on the other end.

“Hey babe.” You replied, your heart swelling at the sound of his voice. It had been a while since the two of you had even talked because he was across the world somewhere touring with his boys and timezones never seem to work out.

“I’m booking a flight for tomorrow and the others can do the show without me.” He said, going right into the bulk of the conversation with minimal introduction.

“Whoa, what?” You asked, laughing slightly at his straightforwardness.

“Your friend told me about what happened and I’m going to fly back so that I can be with you.”

“And you’re just going to leave the tour?”

“Well,” he paused for a moment. “Yeah, Y/N. You could have died today.”

“But I didn’t. That doesn’t mean that you have to drop everything and come to my bedside.”

“Y/N,” he pleaded.

“No, Jai.” You told him firmly. “You have, what? A month left of tour?”

“Well, yeah but-” he started, but you cut him off.

“I’m not hurt that badly, babe. I could’ve died but I didn’t. Finish the tour and I’ll be back here waiting for you, ok?”

There was a silence on the other end, and you could tell that he was conflicted between doing what you were telling him and doing the opposite but not telling you until he was there in person. “Fine.” He finally answered. “I love you, Y/N. Take care of yourself, ok? I’ll call you everyday to check in.”

“I love you too, jai.” You said with a smile. “Give my best to the others, ok?”

“Of course babe. Bye.”

You set your phone aside as the line went dead. Leaning back into the pillows and ignoring the ache in your temple, you thought about how lucky you were to have a boyfriend like him.

[fin]

[a/n: i know that this one is a little baby short one but i hope that you guys like it!! all feedback is always super appreciated!! :-)]

mactireagcroiarchive  asked:

Talk to me about Gremma.

Send me a ship and I’ll give you my (brutally) honest opinion on it

You want me to talk about one of my favorite ships for Emma of all time???? Like wow, the chemistry in the very beginning is unbeLIEVABLE. Immediate attraction, immediate flirtation. Straight from the beginning, they were going back and forth

Let’s not forget how Emma immediately assumed that certain things were from Graham, which really indicates to me she was hoping that they were from him. Exhibit A, the hot chocolate:

Exhibit B: The Flowers

Emma becomes the one person Graham seems to confide in ( exception being Henry when he starts believing, and even then, it’s in connection to Emma ). He lives in a world where he feels nothing and then she shows up and his life starts again and he finds that he wants more, wants to do what he feels is right and that’s because of her. There’s a mutual understanding between them that doesn’t even need words. Just looks are enough. 

Emma wants to be there for him, to help him and she’s willing to do so much to make it known to him that she cares without using as many words. And when he first grabs her and kisses her in the street, Emma knows it’s coming, her eyes are staring at his lips and she just closes her eyes right before his lips make contact. She doesn’t push him away. She had ample time to stop him from doing it. She wanted it, despite how erratic his behavior was in that moment because if that calms him down, if that allows him some moment to escape, she’s there for him. (this is my interpretation of course)

Plus, just look at how they look at each other. True love sparkles in their eyes. The fact that when they kissed, Graham was able to remember his life, everything about it, true love broke his curse. 

Also, though it wasn’t in the show, it was in the books, Graham’s literal last words to Emma were “I love you” and was using the last of his strength to take care of Emma, to wipe away her tears, AND THEY HAD TO REMOVE EMMA FROM GRAHAM’S BODY WHEN THE PARAMEDICS SHOWED UP. She stayed with him until the end. She never had the chance to confess her own feelings. They never had a chance to be great, to live to the full potential of true love that they had. I am FOREVER SALTY ABOUT THIS.

To the people complaining about how hard it is to have one bias in BTS.
  • Me: *wakes up*
  • Me: how's jimin doing is he eating well is he okay is he tired is he happy with himself is he working too hard is he exercising his voice is he making sure he's not straining his vocal cords is he caring about himself as much as everyone else is he accepting help is he taking the advice from the right people has he identified the difference between hard work and being too hard on himself does he know his limits and that it's okay to have limits does he know he's never slacked off does he know his expectations are what make him feel like he fails but it's not a product of reality does he know how strong of a person and a presence he is does he know when to let go of things is he sleEPING
  • Me: how's tae doing is he playing games is he encouraging everyone to have fun is he communicating has he seen any kids lately any animals is he feeling accepted and appreciated is he living in the moment is he being a honest compassionate genius is he getting his space and serious time does he know it's okay if he can't make people understand and it's not a defect of his skills it's not his fault that he's not being heard does he know that some things are out of his control and it's okay does he know that sometimes people don't see the relevance in what he's saying and that's okay and is he making sure his hyungs are alIVE
  • Me: how's jin doing what has he cooked lately is he playing pokemon is he on the wii is his fliphone okay how are his hats and circular glasses is he feeding everyone has he told himself he's handsome a minimum of ten times today has he checked up on everyone's psychological health and stability does he know that i love how comfortable he is in his skin is he living contently has he caught up with his family does he know how much he is appreciated and how much of a lasting effect he has on everyone around him does he know how attentive and perceptive he is does he know how much i love that he continues being himself and how stable and hard-working and reasonable and positive and brave and professional he is and so much perseverance he deserves the spotlight but doesn't always take it just like when he wrote the lyrics for propose guys and didn't even give himself a big part he works so hard on dancing and doesn't feel the need to be validated by others words because he feels appreciated where he needs to be does he know how special he is does he know how much we love his go-getter attitude and that no one has forgotten how amazing of an actor he is how he enjoys life how he's mature and knows what to keep private does he know how cute he looks with glasses on and how anyone who can't see his charm is blind and how he has so many cool interests and how he knows everyone's potential and has standards for them has he given everyone equAL HUGS TODAY
  • Me: how's namjoon doing is he thinking deeply what books has he read lately does he know that no amount of thinking things through can prevent slip ups and that's okay does he know how sincere h is does he know how much of an individual he is and how much i love that is he contemplating life is he making good songs is he encouraging everyone is he telling everyone they're wrong when they snub themselves is he putting his arms around everyone and making contact in that way he does which shows his love in the little things is his phone out of memory did he remember his earphones is hE BUYING THE CLOTHES HE WANTS
  • Me: how's yoongi is he sleeping well how's his neck pillow doing has he remembered to eat does he feel like he's good enough does he give himself enough credit is he getting his introvert time is he content is he identifying his emotions healthily is he being attentive of the members is he putting logic to their insecurities in order to relieve them is he being strict is he keeping bts in a row is he subtly but consistently showing them love in all those little ways is he expressing his deeply felt emotions is hE SELF ANALYZING
  • Me: how's jungkook is he making faces is he dancing is he working hard is he being overly competitive is his head in the clouds is he being hard on himself does he know how perfect he is does he know that he's as productive as 1000000 american teenagers is he being comfortable with himself with his true self does he know it's okay to show his emotions he doesn't have to be cool don't feel too pressured is he accepting things is he speaking up is he sTILL RUSHING TO GROW UP
  • Me: how's hoseok is he being positive is he acknowledging his negative emotions is he living in the moment is he freestyling does he know he's an adequate rapper does he know we care about his mixtape has he been getting love is he screaming enough is he releasing his stress by releasing all of his emotions no seriously are his stress levels okay is he sick is he being too self sacrificing iS HE IGNORING HOW HE FEELS THINKING IT WILL JUST
  • Me: *takes first breath of the day*
  • Me: oh god i feel so bad for writing more on jin i love them all so much it's just i feel like so fed up with how no one appreciates him
  • Me: and oh god i feel like i didn't do too well on some of the other members but
  • Me: i love them so much i just
  • Me: i have to give them equal gifsets equal photo sets it's too much it's too much why can't i just have one bias then it's easy
  • Me: *comes home*
  • Me: i feel like i've been posting a lot of taehyung, jimin, yoongi, and namjoon lately
  • Me: and why do i keep forgetting someone when i do the tags???? what's wrong with me????
  • Me: i feel so guilty i'll post a lot of jin and hoseok and jungkook!!! i love them too idk
  • Me: i posted a lot of them and now it feels uneven??? i need to do equal pictures
  • Me: *gets ready for bed*
  • Me: i'm going to post some maknae like awwww- wait i like this picture but that would mean jimin gets three pictures and tae and jungkook get two each unacceptable i'll have to find two more pictures of-
  • Me: well now i need to post some hyung line they're great too
  • Me: *falling asleep*
  • Me: i feel like i haven't given enough attention to namjoon today and why aren't there more awesome pictures of jin like wtf that's not right-
  • Me: *dreaming*
  • Namjoon: i posted a kimdaily today and you didn't notice tf is wrong with you
  • Me: i'M SLEEPING
  • Namjoon: you didn't even reply in your sorry mangled KOREAN
  • Me:
  • Namjoon:
  • Hoseok: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
  • Me: wait you actually read those-
  • Namjoon: i was guessing that's what you do?
  • BTS:
  • Me: that's not gonna work again
  • Jungkook: why don't you notice me more i was creeping around hoseok in the last bangtan bomb OvO
  • Me: wHY YOU GOTTA BE SO PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE HUH
  • Jungkook: I WAS JUST STARTING TO OPEN UP TO YOU
  • Jimin: HOW COULD YOU
  • Jin: do you find tae suga jimin and namjoon more handsome than me? admit it the reason why you don't reblog me as much is because it takes you loner to find a "handsome" picture of me
  • Me: NO I JUST DON'T ALWAYS THINK YOU'RE AS PHOTOGENIC?
  • Jin: what
  • Jungkook: pardon
  • Me: I LIKE YOUR AIRPORT FASHION BETTER AND WHEN YOU'RE BEING NATURAL I JUST
  • Jimin: omg! why would you make them feel left out like that i thought you loved all of us i'm crying omg leave me alone
  • Me: don't cry you'll get dehydrated i know how you are about drinking wa-
  • Jimin:
  • Me:
  • BTS:
  • Me: YOU'RE JUST SO hiGH MAINTENANCE WHY DO YOU TAKE SO MUCH TIME FOR WORRYING HUH
  • Jimin: I'VE MAD THE FANS SAD IT'S ALL MY FAULT I'LL TRY HARDER
  • Me: FU-
  • Tae: wow you obviously find me the most handsome??? wtf
  • Me: THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE YOU THE MOST
  • Tae:
  • Tae: you obviously find me the most funny??? wtf
  • Me: funny?
  • Tae:
  • Tae: excuse me
  • Me: anyway YES I FIND SOME OF YOU MORE CONSISTENTLY ATTRACTIVE BUT
  • Yoongi: i think you mean me, tae
  • Jimin: OMG STOP *sob* FIHTHTIGNG *sob* I HAVE TO PROTECT *breath* EVERYONE THIS IS MY FAULT
  • Tae: LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO JIMIN
  • Jimin: juNGKOOK
  • Yoongi: wow if you can't love us all then jeez just pick a bias
  • Me: would you juST-
  • Hoseok: YOU ALMOST FORGOT TO ADD ME INTO THIS!!!!!!!
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me: stop screaming
  • Hoseok: DON'T PRETEND. YOU JUST NOW ADDED ME TO TOP!!!
  • BTS:
  • Tae: HYUNG THERE YOU ARE
  • Hoseok: i feel faint
  • Tae: *crouches down*
  • Hoseok: *sits on Tae*
  • Me:
  • Hoseok: YOU LIKE ME BETTER IN SCENARIOS DON'T YOU!!!! YOU READ FANFICS AND THAT'S THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT ME TO BE!!!!!! I DON'T SAY JAGIYA THAT MUCH!!!!!
  • Me: *pretends to throw something*
  • Hoseok: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
  • Hoseok: KJADFKADadGKADJGAD?!?!?!?!!?!
  • Tae: look a dog
  • Jin: OH NO TH BEE BEE QUEUE PIJA IS BURNING?!?!?!!
  • Namjoon: *trips and crushes Jin's DS*
  • Jungkook: inFIRES MAN
  • Namjoon: IT'S inSPirES!!!!!!!!
  • Jungkook: pardon
  • Yoongi: YOU FORGOT TO ADD MY PILLOW INTO YOUR DREAM WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU
  • Namjoon: mY PHONE IS NOT CHARGED
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • Me: JUNGKOOK GET AWAY FROM ME STOP CREEPING
  • Yoongi: *yanks on maknae line's leashes except jimins*
  • Jimin: *starts recording with the V app*
  • Jimin: SEND HEARTUS TO MEND MY HEARTU?!?!?!! IN DIALECT WE SAY THIS LIKE
  • Hoseok: haerTEU OH MY HAEURTO
  • Yoongi: SHIT FUCK SHIT SHIT FUCK DAMN
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • BTS: i thought you loved all of us
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • BTS: i thoUGHT YOU LOVED ALL OF US
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • BTS: I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ALL OF US
  • Me: I NED U BTS WAE HONJA SARANHAGO-
  • BTS: *leaves*
  • Me: DON'T DO THIS I NEED U/PROLOGUE SHIT ON ME DON'T
  • Jungkook: O_O
  • Me: *wakes up crying in the middle of the night*
  • Phone: *OH MAN HOLY SHIT notification sound goes off*
  • Me:
  • Me: better check that

anonymous asked:

hey i was just wondering if you could point me in the right direction here. i feel like there's a great tendency with ships that involve tony in which he is the 'weaker', needy one who needs to be protected and since i personally don't see the character this way, was wondering if you could maybe recommend me some fics (or authors) that don't have that? (idek if you do these things and i'm sorry if you don't and i'm bothering you)

While I’d love to say I’m a fountain of winteriron knowledge, unfortunately I cannot. However this is a great place to ask these questions, even if I don’t have the answer I’m sure some of the bang’s followers will be able to help you. 

Here is what I do have though: 

“Where have you seen me? Did anyone else see me?” Tony turned around and the Soldier put the gun to his forehead. Tony couldn’t decide if he wanted to lean into the door or the gun. “You come to me all the time. I took care of your arm the first time” he said and pointed at it. It was clad in leather today and through the glove Tony could only see the silver fingertips. The Soldier took a step back and shook his head. He seemed to concentrate hard on something and then said “No. You cried.”

Also known as: The meetings between Tony and The Soldier throughout their lives.

(While he does need to be protected in the first of the series, it’s because he’s like 2 so I feel that makes up for it)

After spending years under HYDRA’s control the last thing Bucky wants is to return to their ranks. He does so only because his situation provides an invaluable opportunity to infiltrate the most impenetrable army in the galaxy — his own discomfort is a small price to pay for the lives he might save in the future.

Three months is all he can take before he decides to throw his cover and find his way back to Steve, HYDRA hot on his heels. With him, Bucky has a memory drive of stolen information and a second personality sharing his body, courtesy of HYDRA’s brainwashing.

All Bucky wants is to deliver the information to Steve and the Alliance and finally return home, but when his ship is damaged he has no choice but to stop for emergency repairs. He’s directed to ‘The Mechanic,’ who can supposedly help, but Bucky isn’t exactly comforted when he meets the man in question.

But with HYDRA breathing down his neck Bucky doesn’t have a choice — he’s going to have to trust this Tony, whether he likes it or not.

(Bucky and Tony are both vulnerable in this at moments, but theres some equality in it so that it doesn’t favour one over the other, plus its just generally a really great story)

It is December 19, 1991 and Tony Stark is sleeping. This is significant for several reasons.

For a start, this is the first he’s slept since sometime early on December 16th. He’s gone without sleep for longer—both with and without the intervention of illegal stimulants—so it isn’t so much that as it is the fact that his parents haven’t been alive since December 16th.

The thing is, when he’d agreed to go out clubbing on the night of the 16th—back when he still had parents—it hadn’t ever occurred to him that someone would show up at 5:43 p.m. on December 17th (he’s still wasted from the night before, sweating the drugs out of his system, stinking of sex, and liquor) to tell him his parents had stopped being alive.

—————————

The man is named Tony, and he seems to know James better than he knows himself. In fact, there are many times when he doesn’t remember his own name—only Tony’s—and has to be told, over and over. Sometimes he pretends not to know, just so Tony will hold him close, and whisper it against his ear, until his world is reduced to warmth and safety and Tony.

(Again here there’s like an equality in the emotional breakdown moments, plus a really sweet story)  

And finally:

Imagine Tony has a young child &, for some reason or another, s/he is very shy & withdrawn with strangers, & it took him/her a very long time to warm to the rest of the Avengers. However, when Steve brings Bucky into the tower s/he takes & opens up to him right away, much to everyone (but especially Tony’s) shock. Not only that, but Bucky does very well with and opens up to the kid in a way he hasn’t since the brainwashing, bonding with him/her & healing himself as well.

&

Imagine Bucky read the Hobbit when it came out, and Tony finds out and lends him old tattered copies of the LotR books that he’s read about a hundred times at least. Bucky loves them, and they watch the movies and Tony takes to calling him Elvish endearments in bed because he’s a huge geeky sap, e.g. Meleth e-guilen means love of my life.

(Recovering Bucky not very sure of himself+ Strong Independent Dad Tony who has the sweetest little girl)


Hope this helps with your cravings anon. If anyone else has questions or an answer for this anon feel free to ask/add to this post!

  • psychic: *reads my mind*
  • me: Onward, Chauncey! To the highest room of the tallest tower... ...where my princess awaits rescue from her handsome Prince Oharming! This is worse than "Love Leters". I hate dinner theater! Me, too. Whoa there, Chauncey! Hark! The brave Prince Harming approacheth. Fear not, fair maiden. I shall slay the monster that guards you... ...then take my place as rightful king. What did she say? It's Shrek! Whoo, Shrek, yeah! Prepare, foul beast... ...to enter into a world of pain with which you are not familiar! Happy birthday to thee Happy birthday to thee Do you mind? Do you mind? Boring! Prepare, foul beast... Someday you'll be sorry. We already are! Mommy... You're right. I can't let this happen. I can't! I am the rightful King of Far Far Away. And I promise you this, Mother... ...I will restore dignity to my throne. And this time, no one will stand in my way. Good morning. Good morning. Morning breath. I know. Isn't it wonderful? Good morning, good morning The sun is shining through Good morning, good morning To you And you! And you! They grow up so fast. Not fast enough. You'll be filling in for the King and Queen. Several functions require your attendance, sir. Great! Let's get started. Come on, lazybones. Time to get moving! You need to get a pair ofjammies. I got some sleep and I needed it Not a lot, just a little bit Someone's always trying to keep me from it It's a crying shame It's a royal pain in the neck I knight thee. If you're filling in for a king, you should look like one. Can somebody come in and work on Shrek? I will see what I can do. Yeah, wow. Is this really necessary? Quite necessary, Fiona. - I'm Shrek, you twit. - Whatever. This isn't a rehearsal, peoples. Let's see some hustle! Smiles, everyone! Smiles! I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm sorry, but can you just try to grin and bear it? It's just until Dad gets better. Shrek? You look handsome. Come here, you. My but is itching up a storm and I can't reach it in this monkey suit. Hey, you! Come here. What's your name? Fiddlesworth, sir. Perfect. Ladies and gentlemen... ...Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek! Ahh! You've got it. A little to the left. That's it! That's good. Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing! You're on it. Shrek! My eye! What are you doing? Fiona! - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm fine. Shrimp! My favorite! - That's it! We're leaving! - Calm down. Calm down? Who do you think we're kidding? I am an ogre. I'm not cut out for this, Fiona, and I never will be. I think that went well. Donkey! Come on, Shrek! Some people just don't understand boundaries. Just think. A couple more days and we'll be back home... ...in our vermin-filled shack strewn with fungus... ...and filled with the stench of mud and neglect. You had me at "vermin-filled". And, um... maybe even the piter-pater of little feet on the floor. That's right, the swamp rats will be spawning. Uh, no. What I'm thinking of is a little bigger than a swamp rat. Donkey? No, Shrek. What if, theoretically... ...they were little ogre feet? Honey, let's be rational about this. Have you seen a baby lately? They just eat and poop, and they cry... ...then they cry when they poop and poop when they cry. Now, imagine an ogre baby. They extra-cry and they extra-poop. Shrek, don't you ever think about having a family? Right now, you're my family. Somebody better be dying. I'm dying. Harold? Don't forget to pay the gardener, Lillian. Of course, darling. Fiona. Yes, Daddy? I know I made many mistakes with you. It's okay. But your love for Shrek has... ...taught me much. My dear boy... ...I am proud to call you my son. And I'm proud to call you my frog... ...King dad-in-law. Now there is a mater of business to attend to. The Frog King... is dead. Put your hat back on, fool. Shrek... ...please come hither. Yeah, Dad? This kingdom needs a new king. You and Fiona are next in line for the throne. Next in line. You see, Dad, that's why people love you. Even on your deathbed, you're still making jokes. Come on, Dad. An ogre as king? That's not such a good idea. There must be somebody else. Anybody! Aside from you, there is only one remaining heir. Really? Who is he, Dad? His name is... ...is... What's his name? ...is... Daddy! His name is Arthur. Arthur? I know you'll do... ...what's right. Harold? Dad? Dad! Dad? Do your thing, man. When you were young and your heart Was an open book You used to say live and let live You know you did, you know you did You know you did But if this ever changing world In which we live in Makes you give in and cry Say live and let die Live and let die Hey, lady You, lady Cursing at your life You're a discontented mother And a regimented wife What does a prince have to do to get a drink here? Ah, Mabel! Why they call you an ugly stepsister, I'll never know. Where's Doris? Taking the night off? She's not welcome here, and neither are you. What do you want, Harming? Not much. Just a chance at redemption. And a Fuzzy Navel. And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends! We're not your friends. You don't belong here. You're absolutely right, but, I mean, do any of us? Do a number on his face. Wait, wait, wait! We are more alike than you think. Wicked Witch! The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White, and what happened? Oh, what's it to you? They left you the unfairest of them all. Now here you are, hustling pool to get your next meal. How does that feel? Pretty unfair. And you! Your star puppet abandons the show to go and find his father. I hate that little wooden puppet. And Hook. Need I say more? - And you, Frumpypigskin! - Rumpelstiltskin. Where's that firstborn you were promised? Mabel. Remember how you couldn't get your little fat foot... ...into that tiny glass slipper? Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now... ...eating bonbons, cavorting with every last fairy tale creature... ...that has ever done you wrong! Once upon a time, someone decided that we were the losers. But there are two sides to every story... ...and our side has not been told! So who will join me? Who wants to come out on top for once? Who wants their... ..."happily ever after"? This way, gents. It's out of my hands, senorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life. As are you. And, uh, you. I don't know you, but I'd like to. I got to go! I don't wanna leave you either. But you know how Shrek is. The dude's lost without me. But don't worry. I'll send you airmail kisses every day! Be strong, babies. Coco, Peanut, listen to your mama. Bananas, no roasting marshmallows on your sister's head. That's my special boy! Come here, all of you! Give your daddy a big hug! Shrek? Maybe you should just stay and be King. Come on. There's no way I could run a kingdom. That's why your cousin Arthur is a perfect choice. It's not that. You see... And if he gives me trouble, I always have persuasion and reason. Here's persuasion... and here's reason. Fiona... ...soon it's just going to be you, me... ...and our swamp. It's not going to be just you and me. All aboard! It will be. I promise. I love you. That's lovely. Bye-bye, babies! Shrek! - Wait! - What is it? I'm... I'm... I love you, too, honey! No! I said I'm... You're what? I said I'm pregnant! What was that? You're going to be a father! That's great! Really? I'm glad you think so! I love you! Yeah! Me, too! You! I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to be an uncle! And you, my friend, are royally... Home. Shrek! Fiona! Fiona? Oh, no. Better out than in, I always say. No, no, no! It's okay. It's gonna be all right. Stop! Hey, wait! Donkey. Donkey! Wake up! Dada! Shrek! Are you okay? I can't believe I'm going to be a father. How did this happen? Allow me to explain. When a man has feelings for a woman... ...a powerful urge sweeps over him. I know how it happened. I just can't believe it. How does it happen? And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little Boy Blue and the Man in the Moon When you coming home, son? I don't know when But we'll get together then, Dad. Donkey! Can you just cut to the part where you're supposed to make me feel better? You know I love Fiona, boss. Right? What I am talking about is you, me, my cousin's boat... ...an ice cold pitcher of mojitos and two weeks of nothing but fishing. Don't listen to him! Having a baby isn't going to ruin your life. It's not my life I'm worried about ruining, it's the kid's. When have you ever heard the phrase "as sweet as an ogre"... ...or "as nurturing as an ogre"... ...or "You'll love my dad. He's a real ogre." Okay. I get it. It's not going to be easy. But you got us to help you. That's true. I'm doomed. You'll be fine. You're finished. Uh, with your journey "Wor-ces-ters-shiree"? Now that sounds fancy! It's Worcestershire. Like the sauce? It's spicy! They must be expecting us. What in the shista-shire kind of place is this? Well, my stomach aches and my palms just got sweaty. Must be a high school. High school? Ready? Okay! Wherefore art thou headed, to the top? Yeah, we think so, we think so! And dost thou thinkest thine can be stopped? Nay, we thinkst not, we thinkst not! All right, Mr. Percival, ease up on the reins. For lo, bro, don't burn all my frankincense and myrrh. I'm feeling nauseous from memories of wedgies and swirlies! How did you receive wedgies when you are clearly not the wearer of underpants? Let's just say some things are beter left unsaid. So I was all like, "I'd rather get the black plague than go out with you." - Oh, totally. - Pardon me. - Totally ew-eth. - Yeah, totally. I just altered my character level to +3 superb-ability. Hi. We're looking for someone named... Who rolled a +9 dork spell and summoned the beast and his quadruped? I know you're busy not fiting in, but can you tell me where I can find Arthur? He's over there. There is no sweeter taste on thy tongue than victory! Strong, handsome, face of a leader. Does Arthur look like a king or what? Sorry. Did you say you were looking for Arthur? That information is on a need-to-know basis. It's top secret! Now, gentlemen, let's away. To the showers! Greetings, Your Majesty. This is your lucky day. What are you supposed to be? Some kind of giant mutant leprechaun or something? Giant mutant... You made a funny. Unhand me, monster! Stop squirming, Arthur. I'm not Arthur. I am Lancelot. That dork over there is Arthur. This is, like, totally embarrassing... ...but Tiffany thinkest thou vex her so soothly. She thought perchance thou would ask her to the Homecoming Dance. Excuse me? Like, whatever. She's into college guys and mythical creatures. Oh, Arthur... ...come out, come out, wherever you are! You beter run, you litle punk no-goodniks! The days of Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over! Hold it. We're here for the mascot contest. We're here for the mascot contest, too. This is a costume? Worked on it all night long. Looks prety real to me. If he were real, could I do this? Or this? If it were real, that would have been agonizingly painful. - Now watch this! - That's quite enough, boys. Thank you to Professor Primbotom and his lecture... ...on "just say nay". And now, without further ado, let's give a warm Worcestershire hoozah... ...to the winner of our mascot contest, the... ...ogre? That's right. I'm the new mascot. So let's really try and beat the other guys at... ...whatever it is they're doing! This is all a bit unorthodox... Where can I find Arthur Pendragon? Hey, wait... Olassic. You should be ashamed of yourself! I didn't do it. They did. Please don't eat me. Eat him! Eat him! Eat him! I'm not here to eat him! Time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new King of Far Far Away. What? Artie a king? More like the Mayor of Loserville! Burn. Is this for real? Absolutely. Olean out your locker, kid. You have a kingdom to run. So, wait... l'm really the only heir? The one and only. Give me a second. My good people... ...there's a lesson here for all of us. Next time you're about to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot, stop and think, "Hey, maybe this guy has feelings. Maybe I should cut him some slack. 'Oause maybe... just maybe... ...this guy's gonna turn out to be, I don't know, a king? Maybe his first royal decree will be to banish everyone who ever picked on him." I'm looking at you, jousting team! And Guin? Oh, Guin. I've always loved you. Good friends, it breaks my heart, but... ...enjoy your stay here in prison while I rule the free world! Okay, let's not overdo it. I'm building my city, people... on rock 'n' roll! You just overdid it. Look at you! You look darling. Just precious. Look at her. Any cravings since you got pregnant? No. Not at all. Do you smell ham? It's present time! Fiona, please open mine first. It's the one in front. "Oongratulations on your new mess mak..." Oh, mess maker! "Hopefully this helps. Love, Oinderella." - Look at that! - What is it? It's for the poopies. Wait... babies poop? Everyone poops, Beauty. Fiona! We all chipped in for a litle present, too. Ta-da! You know the baby will love it, because I do! Guys, that's so sweet. Thank you. Who's this one from? I got you the biggest one, because I love you most. "Have one on me. Love, Snow White." What is it? He's a live-in babysiter. Where's the baby? You're too kind, Snow, but I can't accept this. It's nothing. I have six more at home. - What does he do? - Oleaning. - Feeding. - Burping. So, what are Shrek and I supposed to do? Work on your marriage. Thanks, Rapunzel. What's that supposed to mean? Oome on now, Fiona. You know what happens. You're tired all the time. You start leting yourself go. Stretch marks. Say goodbye to romance. I'm sorry, but how many of you have kids? She's right! A baby will only strengthen the love Shrek and Fiona have. How did Shrek react when you told him? When he first found out, Shrek said... Onward, my new friends! To our happily ever afters! Now... bombs away! Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan. - His name's not Peter. - Shut it, Wendy. Enough pillaging! To the castle! You go! Take care of the baby! Everybody stay calm! We're going to die! Everyone in! Now! Oome on! Put some back into it! We don't have time. Now go! Quickly, ladies! We'll hold them off as long as we can! Where are Shrek and Fiona? The name doesn't ring a bell. No bell. I suggest you freaks cooperate... ...with the new King of Far Far Away! The only thing you're ever gonna be king of is King of the Stupids! - Hook! - Right! Avast, ye cookie. Start talking. - Gingy! - Papa! Setle down now. On the good ship Lollipop It's a sweet trip to the candy shop You! You can't lie. So tell me, puppet... where is Shrek? Well... I don't know where he's not. You don't know where Shrek is? It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume... ...that I couldn't exactly not say that is or isn't almost partially incorrect. So you do know where he is! On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way, with any amount of uncertainty... Stop it! ...I do not know where he shouldn't be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't not where I knew he was, it could mean... On the good ship Lollipop Enough! Shrek went off to bring back the next heir! He's bringing back the next heir? No! Hook! Get rid of this new "King". But bring Shrek to me. I have something special in mind for him. He'll never fall for your tricks! Oh, boy. I can't believe it. Me, a king? I knew I came from royalty, but... ...I figured everyone forgot about me. Oh, no. In fact the King asked for you personally. Really? Wow. But I know it's not all fun and games. It really is all fun and games, actually. Sure, you have to knight a few heroes, launch a ship or two. By the way, make sure you hit the boat just right with the botle. Any idiot can hit a boat with a botle. Well, I've heard it's harder than it looks. This is going to be huge. Parties, princesses, castles. Princesses. You'll be living in the lap of luxury. The finest chefs will wait for your order. And fortunately, you'll have the royal food tasters. What do they do? Taste the food before the King eats, to make sure it's not poisoned. - Poisoned? - Or too salty. Don't worry. Your bodyguards will keep you safe. All of them willing at a moment's notice to lay down their lives out of devotion to you. Really? The whole kingdom will look to you for wisdom and guidance. Make sure they don't die of famine! - Or plague. - Plague is bad. The coughing, the groaning, the festering sores. Festering sores! You are one funny kity cat. What did I say? We don't want Artie geting the wrong idea. Artie? There goes my hip! Artie! What are you doing? What does it look like?! This really isn't up to you. I don't know anything about being king! You'll learn on the job! Sorry, but I'm going back. Back to what? Being a loser? Now look what you did! Look what I did? _ Who's holding the wheel, chief? Shrek! Land ho! How humiliating. Oh, nice going, Your Highness. Now it's "Your Highness"? What happened to "loser"? If you think this is geting you out of anything, it isn't. We're heading back to Far Far Away one way or another... ...and you're going to be a father! What? You just said "father". King! You're going to be king! "You're going to be king!" Yeah, right. Where are you going? Far Far Away... from you! Get back here, young man! Boss? I don't think he's coming back. Maybe it's for the best. He's not exactly king material. When did you plan to tell him you were supposed to be king? Oome on. Why would I do that? Besides, he'll be ten times beter at it than me. Then change your tactics if you want to get anywhere with him. You're right, Donkey. What about this? - Shrek! - Oome on. It's just a joke. Still... Listen, Artie. If you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I'm not trying to get up in your grill or raise your roof. But what I am screamin' is, yo... ...check out this kazing thazing, bazaby! If it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying ain't straight trippin', say, "Oh, no, you didn't! You're geting on my last nerve." And then I'll know it's... I'll know it's wack! Help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me! - Artie, wait. - Oome on! Help! Hello? Greetings, cosmic children of the universe. Welcome to my serenity circle. Please leave any bad vibes outside the healing vortex. Now prepare to... I knew I should have got that warranty! Mr. Merlin? You know this guy? Yeah. He was the school magic teacher, until he had his nervous breakdown. Technically, I was merely a victim of a level 3 fatigue. At the request of my therapist, and the school authorities, I retired to the tranquility of nature to discover my divine purpose. Oan I interest anyone in a snack or beverage? Uh, no. Sure you don't want to try my Rock Au Gratin? It's organic. Thanks. I ate a boulder on the way in. We need directions to Far Far Away. "We"? Who said I was going with you? I did. People are counting on you, so don't try to weasel out of it. If the job's so great, you do it. Understand this, kid. No more Mr. Nice Guy from here on out. That was your Mr. Nice Guy? Yeah, and I'm going to miss him. Why don't you go terrorize a village and leave me alone! Was that a crack about ogres? You get your royal highness to Far Far Away... ...before I kick it there! Now, which way am I kicking? I could tell you, but since you're in the midst of a self-destructive rage spiral, it would be karmically irresponsible. Self-destructive? Are you going to help us or not? Most definitely, but only after you take the journey to your soul! I don't think so. It's either that or primal scream therapy. All right. Journey to the soul. Now, all of you, look into the Fire of Truth and tell me what you see. Ooh, charades! Okay, I see a Dutch fudge torte with cinnamon swirls! Okay, monster... go for it. I see a rainbow pony. Excellent work! Now the boy. This is lame. You're lame! Now just go for it. Okay. There's a baby bird and a father bird siting in a nest. Yes! Stay with it! The dad just flew away. Why did he leave the litle bird all alone? It's trying to fly, but it doesn't know how to. It's going to fall! Proper head case you are. Really messed up. Okay, I get it. The bird's me. My dad left. So what? Look, Artie, um... Just thought I'd help set the mood... ...for your big heart-to-heart chat. I know what it's like to not feel ready for something. Even ogres get scared. You know... once in a while. I know you want me to be king, but I can't. I'm not cut out for it, and I never will be. Even my own dad knew I wasn't worth the trouble. He dumped me at that school first chance he got... ...and I never heard from him again. My dad wasn't really the fatherly type, either. I doubt he was worse than mine. Oh, yeah? My father was an ogre. He tried to eat me. I guess I should have realized it. He bathed me in barbecue sauce and put me to bed with an apple in my mouth. I guess that's prety bad. It may be hard to believe, what, with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think I was a monster. And for a long time, I believed them. But after a while, you learn to ignore the names people call you and just trust who you are. You know... you're okay, Shrek. You just need to do a litle less yelling and use a litle more soap. Thanks, Artie. The soap's because you stink... really bad. Yeah... I got that. This place is filthy! I feel like a hobo. I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me. Everything's always about you. It's not like your atitude is helping. Maybe itjust bothers you I was voted fairest in the land. You mean in that rigged election? Give me a break. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel... ...let down thy golden extensions!" Ladies, let go of your pety complaints and let's work together! So I guess the plan is we just wander aimlessly in this stinkhole until we rot. No, we get inside and find out what Oharming's up to. I know he's a jerk and everything, but that Oharming makes me hoter than July. That's it! Oome on! This way! Rapunzel, wait! Oharming, let go of her. But why would I want to do that? What? Say hello, ladies, to the new Queen of Far Far Away. Rapunzel, how could you? Jealous much? Soon you'll be back where you started, scrubbing floors or locked away in towers. That is, if I let you last the week. Pookie, you promised not to hurt them. Not here, kiten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later. Now forgive us. We have a show to put on. Shrek will be back soon, and you'll be sorry. Sorry?! Don't you realize once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away... ...he's doomed? Look out! They got a piano! Kill them all... except the fat one. King Oharming has something special in mind for you, ogre. King Oharming? Atack! Artie, duck! Ready the plank! - Shrek! - Help! Oowards! What has Oharming done with Fiona? She's going to get what's coming to her. And there ain't nothing you can do to stop him! - We've got to save her. - But she's so far far away! Get yourself back to Worcestershire, kid. No, Shrek. Hold on. I've got an idea. I am a buzzing bee. Mr. Merlin? They need a spell to get them... ...I mean us, back to Far Far Away. Forget it. I don't have that kind of magic in me anymore. How about a hug? That's the best kind of magic. Please. I know you can do it. I said forget it! But... What's with you? It's just so hard, you know? They need to get back, 'cause their kingdom's in trouble. 'Oause there's a really bad man. It's just so hard! Take it easy. No! I don't think you understand! There's a mean person doing mean things to good people. Have a heart, old man. They really need your help to get back. Why won't you help them?! Okay. I'll go get my things. Piece of cake. Well, well. You want eggs with that ham? I am a litle rusty, so there could be some side effects. - Side effects? - Don't worry. Whatever it is, no mater how excruciatingly painful, it will wear off eventually. I think. - Oops. - You sure about this? If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't cover... Alacritious expeditious... ...a- zoomy-zoom-zoom! Let's help our friends get back... ...soon! It worked! I haven't been on a trip like that since college! Donkey? What? Is something in my teeth? Oh, no! I've been abracadabra-ed into a Fancy Feastin', second-rate sidekick! At least you don't look like some kind of bloated piñata! You should think about going on a diet! You should get yourself a pair of pants. I feel all exposed and nasty! So you two think this is funny? I'm really sorry, guys. Don't be. You got us back, kid. How in the Hans Ohristian Andersen am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots? Hey, hey, hey! Be very careful with those. They were made in Madrid by the finest... You'll learn to control that. Seriously. Ow! You need some comfort inserts or arch supports or something. Watch it. I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until... Pinocchio! Shrek! Help me! - What happened? - Oharming and the villains took over! Fiona and the Princesses got away. Now she's... She's what?! What?! Puss! Loan me five bucks. You heard him. Help the brother out. Do you see any pockets on me? Hold on a second. I had no idea, really. I... I swear. Quick! Where is Fiona? Oharming has her locked away someplace. You have to find him! He's probably geting ready for the show! Wait, Pinocchio! What show? "It's a Happily Ever After After All". "Shrek's final performance"? Shrek! You didn't tell us you were in a play! I guess I've been so busy I forgot to mention it. The ogre! Get him! Don't worry, jefe. I got this. Uck! Kill it! Look. Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you! We're dealing with amateurs. He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek. I'm going to lose it! Is everything ready? You did get the list for the dressing room? Breakfast croissant stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. And I hope you have the saffron corn with jalapeno honey buter. Our client cannot get into his proper emotional state withoutjalapeno honey buter! I just lost it. They should talk to Nancy in Human Resources. Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise! "With this sword, I do..." No. "With..." "With this sword, I do smote thee!" Is "smote" the right word? "Smoot"? I don't think that's a word. Maybe I should just "smite" him. Let's try this again. Now... Shrek atacks me. I pretend to be afraid. "Now the kingdom will get the happily ever after they deserve. Die, ogre!" Blah, blah, blah. Oh, itjust doesn't feel real enough! Who told you to stop dancing?! Wink and turn. What are you laying around for? Get up! Honestly! Our happily ever after is nearly complete, Mummy. And I assure you... ...the people of this kingdom will pay dearly for every second... ...we've had to wait. Break a leg. On second thought, let me break it for you. Thank goodness. I was afraid you wouldn't get back in time. Where's Fiona? Don't worry. She and the others are safe... for now. Let me guess. Arthur. It's Artie, actually. This boy is supposed to be the new King of Far Far Away? How pathetic. Stand still, so I won't make a mess. Oharming, stop! I'm here now. You got what you wanted. This isn't about him. Then who's it about? I'm supposed to be king, right? You weren't really next in line for the throne. I was. But you said the King asked for me personally. Not exactly. What does that mean? I said whatever I had to say, all right? I wasn't right for the job, so I needed some fool to replace me. And you fit the bill. So just go! You were playing me the whole time. You catch on real fast, kid. Maybe you're not as big of a loser as I thought. You know, for a minute... ...I actually thought... - What? That he cared about you? He's an ogre. What did you expect? You really do have a way with children, Shrek. Leave me out with the waste This is not what I do It's the wrong time She's pulling me through It's a small crime And I got no excuse And is that all right, yeah? Is that all right with you? Is that all right, yeah? If I give my gun away when it's loaded? If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it? Is that all right? Is that all right? Is that all right with you? No. No. Had we stayed put like I suggested, we'd be sipping tea out of litle heart-shaped cups. Yeah, heart-shaped cups. And eating crumpets smothered with loganberries. Yeah, loganberries. - Shut up, Oindy. - Yeah, shut up. - No, you shut up. - Stay out of this. Who cares who's "running the kingdom"? - I care. - You should all care. I have your badge number, tin can! - Donkey? - Princess! Puss? I am Puss, stuck here inside this hideous body. And I'm me! But you're... Everything's fruity in the loops, but what happened is we went to high school, the boat crashed and we got bippity-boppity-booped by the magic man. You poor sweet things. I don't get it. The cat turned into a litle horse that smells like feet. What's to get? Who dat? Where's Shrek? Oharming has him. He plans to kill Shrek tonight in front of the whole kingdom! All right, everyone. We need to find a way out now. You're right. Ladies, assume the position! What are you doing? Waiting to be rescued. You've got to be kidding me. What else can we do? We're just four... ...I mean three, super-hot princesses... ...two circus freaks, a pregnant ogre and an old lady! Excuse me. Old lady coming through. Mom! You didn't think you got your fighting skills from your father, did you? Excuse me. There's still one more. Why don't you just lie down? Okay, girls, from here on out... ...we take care of business ourselves. The Far Far Away Theatre at the Charming Pavilion is proud to present... ..."It's A Happily Ever After After AII." Enjoy your evening of theatrical reverie, citizen. Oi! No food or beverages in the theater! Places, everyone! Easy! Sorry. I was showing off for the litle one. It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day. Oome here, beautiful. Well, she's got your eye. Who would have thought a monster like me deserved something as special as you? Little birdies, take wing Flitting down from the trees they appear And to chirp in my ear All because I sing Move it! Go! My babies! Help! Hey, how's it goin'? O to the K. The coast is clear. Let's do this. Go, Team Dynamite! I thought we agreed to use the name Team Super Oool. I recall it was Team Awesome. I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron. Okay! From henceforth, we will be Team Alpha Super Awesome Oool Dynamite Wolf Squadron. Ach de liebe! There is some strange litle girl over there staring at us! Artie! Wait, wait! Where is the fire, señor? Please. Don't act so innocent. You both knew what was going on and kept it to yourselves. It's not like it seems. It's not? I think it seems prety clear. He was using me. That's all. Using you? You really don't get it. Shrek only said those things to protect you. Oharming was going to kill you, Artie! Shrek saved your life. Oue the spot! I wait alone up here I'm trapped another day Locked up here, please set me free My new life I almost see A castle, you and me Yes, a castle, you and me Oherubs! Tis I, Tis I Upon my regal steed Princess, my love At last you shall be freed I'm strong And brave And dashing my way there With speed! With might! With soft and bouncy hair! - Through the blistering desert - Hot! - Across the stormiest sea - Wet! Facing creatures so vile Foul! So you can gaze upon me! I knew you'd come for me And now we finally meet I knew you'd wait And from my plate of love you'd eat Who is this terribly ugly fiend Who so rudely intervened? Will Charming fight or flee? Please rescue me! From this monstrosity! Fear thee not, honey lamb! I will slice this thing up like a ham! Oh, boy. You are about to enter a world of pain With which you are not familiar! It can't be any more painful than your lousy performance. "Prepare, foul beast." Prepare, foul beast, your time is done! Oould you kill me and then sing? Be quiet! I'm just having fun with you. That's actually a very nice leotard. Thank you. Do they come in men's sizes? Now that be funny! Enough! Now you'll finally know what it's like... ...to have everything you worked for... ...everything that's precious to you, taken away. Now you'll know how I felt. Sausage roll! Pray for mercy from Puss! And Donkey! D Hi, honey. Sorry we're late. You okay? Much beter, now that you're here. So, Oharming, you want to let me out of these so we can setle this ogre-to-man? Ooh, that sounds fun. But I have a beter idea. No! Let go of me! You will not ruin things this time, ogre. Kill it. Everybody, stop! Oh, what is it now?! Artie? Who thinks we need to setle things this way? You mean you want to be villains your whole lives? But we are villains! It's the only thing we know. You never wish you could be something else? Easy for you to say. You're not some evil enchanted tree. You morons! Don't listen to him! Atack! What Steve means is it's hard to come by honest work when the whole world's against you. Right. Thanks, Ed. Fair enough. You're right. I'm not a talking tree. But you know... ...a good friend once told me... ...just because people treat you like a villain, or an ogre... ...or just some loser... ...doesn't mean you are one. What maters most is what you think of yourself. If there's something you really want, or someone you want to be... ...the only person standing in your way is you. - Me? - Get him! No, no, no! What I mean is each of you... ...is standing in your own way. I always wanted to play the flute. I'd like to open up a spa... in France! I grow daffodils. And they're beautiful. A new era finally begins! Now all of you... ...bow before your King! You need to work on your aim. This was supposed to be my happily ever after! Well, you need to keep looking... ...because I'm not giving up mine. Mommy? It's yours if you want it. But this time it's your choice. Author! Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie! Excuse me. That's my seat. Okay, Señor Hocusy-Pocusy, the time has come to rectify some wrongs! Though I have been enjoying these cat baths. Please say you didn't. All right! Look. You'll feel a pinch and possibly lower intestinal discomfort... ...but this should do the trick. - Are you? - I'm me again! - And I am not you! - All right! Oops. Ah, never mind. What did I tell you? The kid's going to be a great king. Well, for what it's worth, you would have, too. I have something much more important in mind. Finally. Dada. Was I wrong about the world? It's a beautiful new place I smell Shrek Junior! Where else could a creep like me Meet such a pretty face Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done Peek-a-boo! Peek-a-boo! A bouncy, bouncy, boy! Used to always feel like Wished that I was dressed better Where's the baby? Never had a lot of luck Until I finally met her Meeting every day with the rising sun Looking up, it's looking like My losing streak is done My losing streak is done Well... what shall we do now? I got it. Puss and Donkey, baby! Once again, come on! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! Look at my hips! I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again! - Break it down! - Let's go! Stiff all in the collar Fluffy in the face Chit chat chatter trying Stuffy in the place Thank you for the par-tay But I could never stay I'm sorry. I got many things on my mind But the word's in the way And I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Different strokes for different folks Thank you for letting me be myself Again Break it down! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Puss and Donkey, baby! Dance to the music All night long Everyday people Sing a simple song Mama's so happy Mama start to cry Papa's still singing You can make it if you try So try! Thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you for letting me be myself Again Oome on, Donkey. Do something right! Put the hoofs together! Put the hoofs together! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Stomp your boots, baby! Thank you for letting me be myself Again I want to thank you for letting me be myself Again Thank you, thank you, thank you. Want to thank you Just to be my Because I just want to be my... See? Can I, can I thank you! Can I Yes! Yes!
  • psychic: what the fuck