I read your DMB letter and was strongly reminded of myself at 13. See at the age of 13 I was getting to grips with my sexuality, self-harming, was onto my 3rd therapist, had attempted “/that/”, had (and still do) a load of illnesses and was being abused by my step-dad (a story for another time). At that time I too thought I was worthless and a burden to everyone around me. I too thought that it was fucked up that I was 13 and having to see ever more specialised therapists to deal with my issues. But let me tell you something; its not! You would be surprised at just how many young teenagers need some help with their mental health; puberty is a tumultuous thing at the best of times.
Now seeing as you revealed your name, its only polite that I do to. I am Mathew, I’m 21 now and although my life isn’t perfect, its a hell of a lot better than it was. Now I can assure you that it does get better, however there is a caveat to that. You will at times get swallowed back into that black cloud where all your demons lie, but my advice is simple; keep fighting. I would say my depression (clinically sever depression) started when I was 11 and I have been fighting ever since. You have to be stubborn and never give in, because believe me life gets a whole lot better down the line. Whenever you feel those demons creeping up on you, fight back, refuse to give in and when it all gets too much make sure you have someone to turn to, to remind you that you are loved and cared for.
Now on the topic of therapy, its always going to seem a little strange that you need it when so many others do. But you have to forget about everyone else and grab hold of any help you can to deal with you problems. I was hugely reluctant to go onto antidepressants and I put that off for 8 years before I finally accepted that I need them. But I wish I hadn’t, if I had had that help earlier on in my life I may have been able to deal with other stuff more effectively. If others judge you for being on them or for therapy, they are not worth your time. At the end of the day you have to think about what is best for you. What is going to help you and what will make you happy.
But after all I have just said my main message is this; mental health issues are incredibly common (more than you might think) and self-harm, although it is talked about very little is quite common among teenagers. So don’t go thinking you are a freak or that you are fucked up because you need this help. You are not! If nobody else had these issues the help wouldn’t be there in the first place.
Finally and most of all this letter was just to show you that even I (A random stranger on the internet), love and care for you. My advice is my own and I have told you a part of my story in the hopes that it will help you. I truly hope it does.
hi becky! two things: 1. I love you and your blog so much and i want you to know that i have seen the drama that you have been dealing with and have been really impressed with the way you have handled things. 2. could you recommend me some good bts blogs to follow? I am new and i only follow you and a handful of others. also do you have any advice on how to make friends and gain followers?
First of all, thank you so much! I really appreciate everyone who has messaged me with kind things to say. It’s made a difference so thank you.
As for blog recommendations, oh god I have so many. I have a lot of friends on here, and follow a lot of people, but to keep this from becoming a full on follow forever, I’m just going to name a few good ones (but they aren’t all bts blogs)
Monday:Jeongkook. He's just as annoying as Mondays, yet endearing because the first day of the week is when you want to start off fresh (hence, "on Monday I'll start my diet/to exercise/to look for a job).
Tuesday:Namjoon. He always works a lot, and Tuesdays is when you deal with the fact the week has officially started and you have to do your best.
Wednesday:Taehyung. Wednesdays are the middle of the week, and you get super hyped because you think, "Hey! The week is almost over!", so you forget how long exactly are two other days.
Thursday:Seokjin. It's almost Friday so you start relaxing a bit, at the thought of weekend. Plus, I don't about other countries, but here in Italy on Thursdays aires MasterChef, and what screams Jin more than MasterChef, seriously.
Friday:Jimin. Fridays are happy days, fluffy days where you usually get to relax with your friends and don't have any thoughts because work is two long days ahead.
Saturday:Hoseok. It's the WEEKEND alright?! You're happy like ever and probably going out to dance and have fun.
Sunday:Yoongi. Who are we kidding here, Sundays are the for lazying around in bed and sleep. Still, anxiety for the upcoming day lingers right next to you, and nothing says *work* more than Yoongi.
today is a very beautiful day and it reminds me of my favourite days when my window is open and its really sunny and kinda windy but not cold? just really fresh.. and my big plant is getting a lot of light and I’m in my veggie blanket and very happy and idk thats where i was last year at this time and a lot has changed and i don’t know if I’m doing better or worse but I’ve changed a lot and i feel different but also the same and usually on a day like this id be talking to someone but they aren’t here anymore and thats a lot to deal with
but anyways idk what this means but i feel really peaceful right now and I’m happy because it almost feels like things are back to the way they were :-)
Some tips on spending actual money in the game and some general things I’ve observed/found useful.
Firstly, a big thank you to @loki-on-mjolnir for making me a part of this awesome community. :)
I was lucky enough to get in on the beta version of the game and have been playing for a few weeks now. I know there are a lot of new people playing the game so I just wanted to impart a couple of observations that I’ve seen and also some tips that I personally found helpful.
First off I’ll address spending actual money in the game:
Of course you’re more than welcome to do what you want in regards to spending/not spending real money in the game. But if you’re worried about spending money my biggest tip would be wait until they have some kind of deal or sale. Recently I got a ‘quest’ where if I bought a ‘stash of credits’ they would give me 1,000 shards for free (I had a google play gift card so I was all over that like Tony on technology). Deals like that are worth taking advantage of if you’re willing to spend actual money. They want you to spend money on the game, that’s why they design it so that you’re constantly low on credits and/or shards. However it is entirely possible to play this whole game free. Things will take longer to save up for, but it is totally doable. I’ve found that the the more I level up the more credits I get for missions and quests. You’ll find that you can actually save up credits pretty fast. If you can save or wait until a quest or a character is less credits/shards to obtain or even free the better.
Secondly, upgrade your buildings when you can:
One thing I found helpful that if you want to save time on quests is to upgrade your buildings when you are able to before they are a requirement. You’ll save time when completing quests and you’ll also unlock skills for certain characters faster. Of course if you can’t then don’t do it, but the buildings I’ve been made to upgrade before level 14 are Star Tower, Avengers Dorm, the Archives, and Blasting Range. If you can upgrade those before then you will be ahead of the game. Also the higher the upgrade the longer it’ll take to complete. My suggestion would be to do this at night while you’re asleep. I know that I just recently upgraded the Avengers Dorm and it took about 11 hours.
Thirdly, until they announce more characters or make it more clear that you can recruit characters such as Vision and War Machine without spending so many shards I would hold off.
That’s just more my personal opinion on it, but I know how much your faves mean to people so if you really want to go for it than do so. One thing I did notice during the beta testing was that their number of shards to recruit them kept changing, which I found annoying. I remember seeing Jessica (Spider-Woman) at over 600 shards and then when I played the ‘official release’ she was only 250 shards, so keep an eye on that. I’m sure the prices won’t change with the official version, but if you see difference in price of shards then something is off.
Fourth, do the smaller missions first:
I’ve found it helpful to send characters on tasks for their quests that require the less time first. If I can send everyone on 1 minute - 15 minute missions before sending them on big long ones that’ll take hours then I find I can complete some tasks a little faster.
Fifth, if you can get it for free, get it for free:
I’m still trying to recruit Cap and it’s taking a long while, but if I can get him for free then I’m doing it. Why spend over 1,000 shards to get him when you can get him for completing missions. It takes a lot longer, but in the end you’ll save your shards and make more credits on the way.
Sixth, and the last thing I’ll suggest:
Contact the developers, give them feedback, give them ideas. I work in the mobile gaming industry and while it’s not the same as AA, I do know that feedback and ideas go a long way. Some ideas and feedback may not be any huge interest to them or even feasible, but if we speak up about what we want in this game then we may see some results. Also if you want more free credits and shards tell them that and tell them to make it easier to either get more credits for completing quests or tell them there needs to be a daily login reward or some kind of reward/bonus system to help people achieve their goals. A lot of games do that or have some kind of reward system. And I should think it goes without saying that please be respectful and polite when sending them stuff like that.
I hope some of this helps people with their gameplay. Also please continue to ask the blog questions and/or send in your own tips. We love hearing from you. :)
I don't know if this is something you would know but I'm Chinese, and I haven't visited China in many years and I miss it. The older I'm getting, the more I want to see what it would be like if I stayed in China, the people, food, etc. so I was wondering if you know any good blogs that are Chinese-centered like people living in China, food, fashion, nature, etc. :)
hmmm i think there are two parts to this question, because i actually deal with a lot of the same problems. in terms of actual blogs, i believe that blogs like fuckyeahchinesefashion and niubibeijing and mingsonjia have generally chinese-exclusive posts, though i do not personally follow them. im not sure about non-chinese sino blogs, though maybe our followers have suggestions. you can also look around weibo and sina blogs and meipai, miaopai, etc for people to follow.
but i do also think that this particular feeling is also something you have to confront, because it’s not necessarily a helpful one. for me personally, i do often wonder what sort of person i would have become growing up mainstream instead of marginalised, but that’s not something i can really change, and so it is ultimately unhealthy for me to fall into this cycle of thought, particularly when i think my marginalisation has opened my eyes to certain things i may not have recognised as part of a hegemonic majority. i do not mean to say that oppression makes you a better person, or that you may not be socially aware as a member of a majority, but i do think it’s helpful to think about the things you have gained as well as the things you have lost.
being part of diaspora does mean that you exist in a liminal space and often have to negotiate between two (or more) identities, but it doesnt mean you have to take sides, it doesnt mean youre less legitimate, and it doesnt mean being in that liminal space means that, for example, you are in flux or placeless or without real identity. i hope this helps!
Hello ~ I'm just wondering, how do you feel about TSent's other artists? BAP is my bias, but for me personally, I still want Secret, Sonamoo, Untouchable to do well in the industry. I don't want TS to ignore them either. I also hope that there's no more hate between the groups' fans, especially Babyz and Sonamoo's fans.
Hi, Nonnie. I honestly don’t listen a lot to other TS artists, but I think that TS has a responsibility toward their fandoms and they’ve neglected them a great deal. I do sometimes fear that they’ll do the same to B.A.P once they’ve debuted their rookie boy group in the future, but then B.A.P is their provider, and also the very reason TS has a name today. I think they’ll always be their Golden Group, (so to speak).
I don’t think that we’ve seen the last of the other artists yet. D-Action released a solo track recently. Hyosung from Secret had a solo release last year. Sonamoo had two releases last year. Possibly some of the artists are focused on working solo at the moment, but I’m certain they’ll be back in the future.
I’ve noticed that TS is trying to nudge Sonamoo into the public light. They were on Boss Is Watching with B.A.P and I heard that they cheered each other on as well as just supported each other strongly. It’s been hard for Sonamoo because of their debut taking place during B.A.P’s lawsuit. Personally, I like the girls and I’m certain that they’ll become a lot bigger in the future than they are right now.
TS has just never been that skilled at promoting their artists, even B.A.P. While most companies buy their idols cover spreads in high fashion magazines such as Vogue, Céci, etc., TS seemingly doesn’t even consider high editorials, which actually has promotional advantages for the artists, because those magazines end up on the street for the general public to view on their way to work, etc.
Most artists have Vlog channels or reality shows through which people are able to follow their daily lives as artists, get to know them, etc. They do actual studio version covers of popular American and Korean songs, collaborate with artists from other companies, appear on mass-enjoyed variety shows, etc.
This is all part of a promotional process to get your artists noticed and loved by the masses. It’s needed because the entertainment industry is not only a super competitive arena, it’s also flooded with rookie artists every month. If you don’t promote in every way you can, you won’t get seen. This is part of the reason I believe that the absence of one popular artist can benefit others.
There’ll always be some hate from some people in a fandom, but majority of our fandom is mature, calm, respectful, and kind. That is why I’m even here.
Your writing is impeccable and someone very rare to find in such a high quality. I'm so sorry you want to finish with this blog, but know that you have really changed lots of people by being such an awesome person. We all hope you feel better soon and do whatever you want to do no one is stopping you. Please take care of yourself and smile :) Thank you for so many incredible stories
Thank YOU. I’ve decided I’m not stopping altogether. I will write. I don’t know how soon, because I’m dealing with so much shit right now. But I will wrote eventually because you’re all so kind and deserve it. I owe you all that much.
i feel really empty all the time, and while ive been diagnosed with a long list of things, its not going away. and i cant take medication for it bc a lot of the medicines for mental health issues give me v bad reactions. how do i deal w/ this emptiness and perpetual morbid loneliness????
there’s really only so much we can do over a service like this. since you can’t take medications to combat the emptiness, you CAN start talk therapy/continue therapy like DBT/CBT in order to learn skills that will help you cope with your mental illnesses. that’s my best suggestion for you. it’s helped me out a lot.
i’m going to link you to some of our posts on isolation/loneliness.
i get far more nice messages on tumblr than i do mean ones, but when i do get one that’s inconsiderate or harshly worded or cruel and critical instead of constructive, it makes me feel awful. anyone who is able to ignore and delete mean messages is a lot stronger than me, because when i get one, it makes me question why i’m here, why i’m writing, why i’m sharing myself with the internet. it makes me question this entire “community.” it makes me want to delete all of my writing and remove myself from this space so that i’ll never be exposed to that kind of harshness ever again.
i know that none of that is logical. i know that the lone voice of one angry individual shouldn’t get to me, shouldn’t strip me of my self-confidence, shouldn’t make me want to give writing up. i know that my self-concept shouldn’t (and most of the time, doesn’t) depend on the way that strangers on the internet perceive me, because i’m good at my job (my real, off-the-internet job, the one that makes me feel like i’m contributing to society and making something of myself), and i know that i’m a good person in ways that you can’t see or understand. i know that the way that people police each other on tumblr so forcefully and finally is only able to occur because the culture of this website allows it. and i know that, in the smallest way, it’s my fault, because i’m putting myself out there. i’m exposing myself to it.
and i hate that. i hate the way you judge me based on the tiniest fraction of my personality that i allow you to see. i hate that you find it so necessary to let me know that you’re judging me. i hate that i’m worried now, as i’m typing this, that you’re going to think i’m overreacting or being dramatic or that i need to grow a thicker skin. that i’m weak, that i can’t take criticism, that it’s just fanfiction and i should stop taking it it so seriously.
and most of all, i hate that you’re making me want to give up something that i love.
because here’s the thing: i love writing. i love it. it’s the closest thing i’ve got to magic, besides teaching. i’m just not sure that, right now, i love it more than i’m scared of angry, anonymous words.
so this is a trial period. i don’t know how much you’re going to be seeing me around here in the coming days/weeks/months while i remind myself that it’s writing that makes me happy, not tumblr. for now, and for the foreseeable future, the anon option in my ask box is going to remain off. if you have something to say to me, good or bad, you have to own it. i own all of my words, and i’m not going to let you get away with dissociating yourself from yours anymore.
Do you have any information on "fantasy living"? It's been one of my biggest coping mechanisms against avoidance for years. Do you know how to stop using it as a way to deal with AvPD? Thanks in advance, I really like your blog. :)
Thank you, I’m glad our blog can be helpful to you!
What fantasy living is varies from person to person. For many, people get stuck living in the past, whereas others have drawn out fantasies about themselves. Some envision themselves as their favourite fictional characters. Fantasy living for avoidants usually involves them being the ‘main role’ of their fantasy and succeeding somehow, or living how they wished they could. There are lots of different ways to get stuck in ‘fantasy living’, though, and no real criteria.
I don’t think fantasy living on its own is harmful. It can be a helpful coping mechanism. It’s just that a lot of us take it too far and don’t know how to separate ourselves from it, or to come back to reality. Because reality sucks.
If you’re having a hard time with it, it might be better for you to focus on doing less fantasy living rather than stopping altogether. It isn’t a bad thing to do unless it’s inhibiting you from living your life. I think it’s perfectly ok to resort to fantasy living when you’re feeling down, as long as the fantasy living itself isn’t what’s causing depressed feelings in the first place.
A good way to prevent excessive fantasy living is to give your mind stimulation. Preoccupy yourself with other things, like reading or playing a game. Social stimulation helps the most, but that can be difficult as it’s kind of the core of the problem. It’s probably better to do things that don’t involve ‘zoning out’.
Things that ground you and make you an active participant of your surroundings will help even more, but can be harder to do because of the low self-esteem we deal with. But it can be really beneficial if you want to start feeling like you are in your life. Reorganize your room to make it feel more like ‘your’ space. Spend some time doing your hair or makeup. Make a nice dinner. Familiarize yourself again with you and the world around you.
This may be an unpopular opinion, but given that this year's crossover has kind of tainted all future ones, I'd really rather they pick a different episode to do it. Despite LOT getting not so great ratings, they'll still be back for a 2nd season, meaning they'll have even more characters to deal with next year's crossover. With the many characters and all of the plot and action that they'll come with, a wedding may seemed rushed. I'd rather it be a different ep (maybe this season finale lol).
I don’t think it’s that unpopular, actually. I’ve seen many other fans who are fed up with the crossovers on any attention given to the other shows, actually. Which I get. A lot of the early part of this season on both Flash and Arrow were consumed by setting up Legends of Tomorrow and that was hugely frustrating.
But I do think there’s some merit in the crossovers themselves. Now that all shows are set up and, as far as I’ve heard, no plans to spin off any others, crossovers would be contained to the event itself. And, generally speaking, the crossovers aren’t bad episodes. The Flash side of the crossover last year was one of my favorite episodes of the season. I also really loved the Flash side this year. And if I wasn’t annoyed by the babymama drama, I probably would have loved the Arrow side this year too.
But the bottom line is (and this is what the EPs and the network really care about): the crossovers mean BIG RATINGS. Big ratings for Flash, big ratings for Arrow… if LoT is involved, it’ll be big ratings for them too. I get what you say about it being rushed… but if a wedding were a huge part of the focus… I’d say it’d get double or even triple the amount of time and attention.
At the end of the day we don’t know when the wedding will happen (or even IF, tho I would say it’s likely). I don’t think the end of this season will happen… but beyond that? It’s anyone’s guess! And, frankly, I’ll be happy regardless of which episode it happens in. Because this is something I’ve waited for for a long time and it’ll be a cause for celebration, not regret.
When you decide on pairing characters how do you decide if they work out or not?
There’s a lot of things that i would find to be good pairings. and i feel their personality plays a big role.
I know a lot of people would like to ship characters that are similiar. but i don’t really find that to be very interesting, nor fun when it comes to roleplaying and making comics. I find characters with different views and personalities to be fun and exciting when it comes to dealing with problems. I can show a few couples i like and have with a friend(s). and some ships i wont agree on…
These are just a few characters actually there are more couples i have with other friends and such. But these are a few of my favorite couples.
ALSO I barely preship characters before roleplaying. I dont actually like doing that and it can be a little awkward. Also, im not saying that the same personality characters arent good entirely. I believe its what happens around them that could make the couple interesting/likeable. for ex:
(wizzy @code-thief) Where these two show a happy puppy love relationship and is always on the same team, its jus their environment they live in influences what happens.
Well if anything, you and the other should just ask questions about each others characters, arrange something and then dive into roleplay? I carry ships with only good friends.
Now what i dont find to be good ships? -Characters that are far to a like that they are basically the same person, i dont think it will be fun. and making lore wouldnt be that interesting, - “perfect” couple. couples gotta fight you know, that seems to inhumane that their lives are to perfect, throw some conflict in there! - random/blind ships, let the characters get to know each other, them some roleplayers are gonna feel weird and even forced to change how there character is. (ex: having a villian be out of character and be “nice” to the other when thats not their nature)
Idk, i think that should be enough, I’m no expert in all this but this is just how ill do it.
Speak Now:Well hi! I hope you enjoy this super extra awesome bonus-stuff album package. It’s been put together with lots of love and Speak-Now ness. Because after all when speaking your mind, I think it’s best to do it, well… now. I love you more than ever.
- Love Taylor
RED:Oh hello! I appreciate the cool thing you did, buying the extra bonus package deal situation. You doing that immediately makes me assume you are A) Nice and B) supportive. So thanks for being those things and for wanting more when it comes to Red. Here’s a poem.
Roses are Red
My album is too
Thank you s are awesome
This one’s for you.
1989:Oh hi there! Look what you’ve gone and done! You’ve pre-ordered my album. I really appreciate you doing so, because I’ve been preparing for this moment for 2 years, hoping you would decide you wanted it. And look, you decided to pre-order it! That means you want this album way more than the normal amount. As a thank you, I’ve included more than the normal amount of stuff in this package. Thanks for making me astoundingly happy for so many years.
Okay so I've met this wonderful guy on POF and he has the personality that I admire the most. He and I share the same interests and have been chatting for several days now. I really really like him. What do I do now? I'd like to go out with him. Idk
If you’d like to go out with him then ask him out :) No point in waiting. Is POF that dating app? If so, be careful. Go somewhere where there’s lots of people the first time you meet, grab a coffee together or something. And make a deal with a friend of yours to have her/him call you after say 30 min. Both to check up on you, but also, if the date sucks and you need an out, you can use her and come up with an excuse to leave, hehe :)
Hey Dean! *waves* just wanna say you're amazing and a strong person with all the crap you've been through and if you can do it (dealing with the family business and all). You've helped me a lot without realising.. Haha I'm getting ahead of myself 😳 anyway my question is if it came down to it would you give up pie for life or give up driving your baby?
Why do people keep trying to make me decide between the two loves of my life? Tumblr is mean.
(It’s okay, Dean. It’s just for fun. *pats shoulder*)