I do deal with this a lot

anonymous asked:

do you like musicals or theatre?

I doooooo, I mean growing up with Disney movies, they’re all basically musicals anyway. But my dad was actually a theater actor for most of my childhood so we kinda grew up with the “backstage life” and went to a lot of shows locally and around Sweden. So I always liked that sort of world. I would love to go to a “proper” show at some point though, like a real Broadway kinda deal. I’m always so blown away by the set builds and how they make everything work, live, rather than having editing/vfx to rely on. With these big sets that roll around, and stuff that’s built to swivel and be one thing on one side, and another thing on the other side.

I think my first choice would be to see The Cursed Child, if I could. Even though I’ve read it, I just want to see how the hell they do all the magic on stage. I’d also love to see Book of Mormon at some point!

PS. Here’s my dad, at some show, in 1989, love this picture :D

anonymous asked:

up to now i had no sexuality at all and felt quite like a trans man, but recently i found the idea of being a woman and lesbian really... right? i'm worried if i'm like, distancing myself from manhood to avoid having to deal with my misogyny because ive seen lots of posts about it recently. that would seem like a Man thing to do. or if it's transphobia. i don't know if ive experienced enough misogyny to be female and some of my behavior is quite man-like. i also felt like i could be a gay man?

you are the only one who can choose how to conceptualise & articulate your personal relationship to gender. sometimes people with very similar experiences in terms of dysphoria, how they feel about gender & their assignment, etc. can arrive at very different conclusions about how they see themselves; there’s no “right” answer here.

wondering about whether you’ve experienced “enough” misogyny to ‘qualify’ as a woman or whether you ‘act’ like a man is to 1. subscribe to a view wherein gender is innate and internal and just needs to be discovered (which I & many other feminists reject) & 2. to act like gender is a sort of morality play whereby women are more individually pure because of their ‘victim’ status than men are. the truth is that gender operates through external violence just as much as through socialisation, and to try to sort people out based on how they’ve responded to that socialisation (such that everyone who is aggressive or even just assertive must be ‘acting like a man,’ when this is a personality trait and/or learned behaviour that could be due to any number of things) is absurd, not to mention commonly wielded to distinctly transmisogynistic effect.

of course men are socialised to behave in certain ways but to generalise that to the claim that all of this is uniquely “male behaviour” & thus everyone who engages in it has some kind of “male socialisation” (e.g. butch lesbians, as women who have resisted many of the aspects of female socialisation, are exhibiting “masculine” or even violent behaviour when they are assertive or take up space or even when they’re doing nothing at all) is ridiculous. even besides the confirmation bias wielded against trans +/ butch women on this basis it’s just… some women are just rude lmao it doesn’t have to be that deep. in general when you try to take a broad claim about patriarchy & make it a moral claim about specific individuals you’re gonna have a bad time.

if you’re genuinely worried that your behaviour towards women is suspect then you can work through that on your own terms but I think it’s absurd to say that that necessarily has any impact on your experience of gender when like, women receive misogynistic socialisation too & pass that down onto their daughters & police other women & say that they “don’t have female friends” & disbelieve women who are victimised by men & victimise their son’s wives in the same ways in which they were victimised etc. etc.–women can uphold patriarchy too & this is why the ‘moral purity’ view of this falls apart. plus a whole bunch of people change how they conceptualise their gendered experiences–it’s not uncommon at all for especially butch lesbians to have considered themselves transmasculine at some point–& it certainly doesn’t make you evil somehow

tl;dr you’re whatever you want to be

Advice on how to move on

There is something I have realised lately that I think a lot of people on this website need to know. There will always be people who hate the way you do things. There will always be people who judge others. There will always be people who feed off others misery and there will always be times where you feel you are to blame.  Losing great people can be tough and can make you feel as if you are the scum on this planet.  I honestly would sit and think of the best way to kill myself and recently, it seemed more appealing than ever. 

In the past 3 years I’ve made some stupid mistakes and stupid decisions. I stayed in a relationship that I was unhappy in because I craved affection, I focused on self pity and developed into someone that no one wanted to be with and I harmed myself everyday because I felt I deserved. In the last couple of months, I decided to take a break from life.  

In those months; I dealt with a bad breakup in a really unhealthy way, I prepared myself for the day that I would drive my car into a wall, I lost a good friend because of my own selfish ways and I drove everyone away.  The loneliness, isolation, pain and self hatred I felt was well deserved and I hated every second of it.  My friends didn’t speak to me much and I felt that was because they didn’t want me. I lost a lot of them because they had been waiting for me to speak to them first. My depression was at the lowest point it had ever been and I didn’t want to live with my mistakes and guilt anymore.  A small part of me still doesn’t. But let me tell you now that suicide shouldn’t have to be your last option. 

So, here are my top ten tips for moving on and loving life again. 

1. Take a break 

Whether this is by leaving social media, cutting back from social events or just going out for a walk. A break from the real world will help you put things into perspective and the time to yourself will have great benefits. It’s important to not rush the passage of time and to not rush yourself.  The recovery can take a long time. 

2. Evaluate your relationships 

If you are unhappy with someone, miss someone, or feel someone isn’t a good friend then don’t keep going at it.  If things aren’t getting any better, then maybe its time to think about who you’re real friends are.  Toxic relationships of any kind will only make things worse. 

3. If its not too late, reach out to those you really care about

Don’t let people slip away if you can help it. Express your gratitude, make them feel loved and cared about and keep the good ones around.  Whether it’s your parents, your best friend or your sibling.  Losing a great friend is the last thing you want to do. If they don’t reciprocate, then don’t work yourself up over it. 

4. Make a list of your qualities, strengths and the things you love

If you go back and add things to this list everyday then you will eventually feel better about who you are. Write down the little things then work yourself up to the bigger things.  Sometimes, we may feel like there is nothing good about ourselves.  Don’t set up standards or self expectations.  

5. Don’t hide your emotions 

If you want to cry, laugh or scream; don’t bottle things up.  It’s okay to cry and be happy. It’s okay to not understand how you feel. If you keep emotions inside then you will become overloaded and you will release your emotions when it all becomes too much.  This usually makes people feel tired and worse off in the end. You should know that it’s okay to be stuck in a slump.  You are not alone.  

6. Surround yourself with things you love 

Replay that video game, watch that movie series, listen to your favourite music, relish in the things that once brought you joy. The happiness it once gave you will help you rekindle your love and the endorphins it will release will make you physically feel better too. 

7. Celebrate small victories 

If you manage to refrain from self harm, eat that healthy meal or go a day without seizing up. These small changes are a sign of better days to come.  Keep up the good work and feel good about yourself for it. 

8. Let yourself think positively 

Don’t be afraid to say to yourself that things are getting better, that you feel better in yourself and that the future is bright.  The more you say this to yourself and the more you believe in yourself, then the more likely you are to find what you are looking for. Whether, this is seeking redemption or earning self respect, you will achieve your goals and you will succeed. 

9. Self acceptance 

You may have made mistakes, bad decisions and lost good people; but they don’t define you. You are not your mental illness and you are not a failure.  Learning to accept yourself is the hardest step and it can take a very long time. It can be hard to look in the mirror and see someone you are proud to be. You must accept that these things happened and come to terms with what has come because of it. Learning how to heal and love yourself is key to moving on. Only you can do this, I can’t tell you how because everyone is different.  Go at your own pace and don’t let anyone else drag you down. 

10. Reconnect and live your life 

Once you feel that you can get back to the normal grind, make sure to go at your own pace. Reconnect with your loved ones and make new ones. Go outside and watch people go about their day. Learn from your mistakes, make new memories and let people in.  Realise that you are a better person now and that the people around you are happy to be with you. Live life to the fullest and take risks. You will soon come to realise that you are much happier and better off the way you are now.    

If you feel like you want to commit suicide, this is your reason not to; we care about you. Tomorrow can be better if we make it better. Its not easy and it can be hard to move on with life.  Living with mental illnesses is a daily struggle for many people.  If we all help each other and don’t judge others then we can save lives. I don’t want anyone to feel like I did. 

Please reblog for people who may need to hear this right now and for the people who feel like nothing matters anymore. Seek professional help if you need it and don’t hide anymore. 

anonymous asked:

which of the seven deadly sins do you associate yourself with most?

At the moment I think sorrow is what I’m fighting through. I’m not ‘despondent’ but I still have my moments.

There’s been a lot going on at work with my appeal, phone calls from her debt collectors, and bullshit from her lawyers (even though the divorce is final). After I really dedicated myself to her and gave her what she asked for this is what I’m dealing with so when it piles up it really hits me wrong (and rightfully so). I don’t even know if betrayal is the right word anymore.

Presque Vu – Chapter 28

A/N No particular trigger warnings this time, just deep apologies for making you wait so long. I have a lot going on in my personal life right now, and I have been ill and dealing with writer’s block. Thank you for your patience and enthusiasm and thanks for continuing to read, comment and reblog. I do appreciate it. 

   Shannon got Raina settled into the bath before climbing in with her, positioning himself so that she could lean back against his chest. She snuggled into him, enjoying the fuzzy high she was on, while she replayed the day’s events in her head.

   “You need to do that more often,” she told him as he tucked her hair over one shoulder and placed a gentle kiss at her throat.

   “Do what?” Shannon chuckled softly. “Kiss your throat?”

   “No,“ she purred, "talk to me like you did earlier. You are so good that. Holy shit that was hot.”

   Shannon laughed and pulled her in tighter. “You too. That was amazing.” He nuzzled her neck, the stubble on his chin tickling her damp skin and making her giggle. “My girl has such a dirty mouth.”

Keep reading


This may not seem like a big deal but it just boggles my mind that 300 people (or around that; who knows about bots or whatever) are willing to follow this endless page of nonsense, Hunter x Hunter, BNHA, KilluGon and BakuDeku.

There’s like, no variety. What are you guys even doing? 0_0

Seriously, though.

Wow. Um. Thank you? I just. Can’t word? 


anonymous asked:

How to deal with being misgendered in public? I get really upset every time I’m misgendered by strangers, I want to shout at them, I want to tell them I’m a boy. But I can’t, I have to suffer in silence bc I’m not out yet and they won’t believe me, they already see me as a girl. I don’t know what to do, I’m just so angry with myself for not passing

Hey there! Pretending like you’re a girl for show can help. Like act as if you’re playing a part in a movie and that’s why you’re being misgendered. Also telling yourself that one day you won’t have to deal with it can help a lot. We have some tips for dealing with dysphoria and what not in the FAQ. Also be sure to have some coping skills for dealing with all that anger. Fidget toys can help when you’re in public, but at home finding something else like writing or push ups can be a good thing. In the FAQ we have some coping skills toward the bottom in section 10. Hang in there


one thing ive seen a lot of people do to me/others is like. when you go up to someone you are close to and suddenly dump out that you feel bad because theyre hanging out w/ others and having fun. and….. i hate it. so much.

 i understand that people should be honest about their feelings and not hide things but putting all this on someone is so hard to deal with. esp bc most of the time you dont even know what you want them to do other than stop talking to others. 

so…please consider how the other persons going to react, and what they have in their ability to help you. not everyone is your personal therapist who can fix everything and not get overwhelmed by it

anonymous asked:

Love your writing but there’s one issue all of your stories are about ‘plus sized women’ but none of them actually mention it.

Well, a lot of them do mention it I feel but I don’t make a huge deal about it because being a plus size woman is just a thing about a person, a beautiful thing true but not everything that is important. Being plus size should not define a person so I try not letting it. I may be wrong and if you feel I am please let me know but I don’t agree 

Originally posted by americxanhorrorstory

anonymous asked:

Hello, so I started a new job recently and I got invited to this "club" (idk what else to call it) within the company for women in business, and I'm torn about whether or not I should join. I'm an afab demigirl and I do want to support it, but I also don't want to invalidate my own identity. What do you guys think I should do? I love your blog btw, it's helped me a lot :)

Is there anyone associated with the organization that you feel comfortable coming out to? Organizations for women often include and support AFAB trans people as well - see for example Harrison Browne, an out trans man in the National Women’s Hockey League - because they often are fighting a lot of the same prejudice that women do. Asking if their membership is open to demigirls seems like a logical way to deal with at least some of your concerns.

(If you feel uncomfortable using the term “demigirl” in a professional context, I sometimes use “demifemale” as an adjective - something like that might work for you.)

That said, even if they’re explicitly willing to include demigirls in their organization? You still don’t have to join if you feel uncomfortable joining. I’m still not 100% sure what gender is, but a lot of it seems to do with what group you belong in, and if you feel like you don’t belong in a club for women, you don’t need to join.

Good luck!

- mod robin

p.s. If you’re not comfortable asking yet, it’s fine to say, “I need more time to think about it, thank you.” Or, “I’m not sure I want to join - may I sit in on a meeting and get a sense of what you’re about?”

anonymous asked:

Is it normal to feel a lot of anxiety about being trans/presenting how you want? For example I really hate all of my clothes there’s only a few things that I like that I wear but I just can’t work up the courage to go buy the clothes that I want because my mom is only partly supportive she makes it like a huge deal that I prefer to wear boys clothes and it makes me so nervous that I’d rather wear the stuff that I don’t like than go through all the trouble and anxiety of buying the stuff I like

Yeah I think most would feel some or a lot of anxiety regarding this. It’s always okay to wait until you have the confidence, it’s not healthy to force yourself into something you’re not ready for. Try doing little changes to start with. Underwear, tank tops, shirt shapes. Baby steps bud!

- Michael

anonymous asked:

Does the "prison imagery" of 13x02 remind you of the lighting during the confession in 10x16?

Yeah! But I think 10x16 itself was just part of a long tradition of using prison imagery around Dean and his dark arc, as a great deal of it was about him being trapped in these dark mindsets and the underlying issues the Mark was exacerbating. It was why the grenade launcher imagery worked so well in season 12 - because it was about breaking down walls both real and metaphorical. The Bunker itself has prison imagery everywhere, from the aesthetic to the fact there are a ton of bars and grilles so creative directors can overlay the imagery on them in several different rooms. The director of 13x02 is one I’ve seen doing it a LOT, and I just checked 10x16 and it’s a different director but another one I think is pretty competent and has been with the show a long time/the entire time (I don’t really pay too much attention to the directors, or at least, I didn’t and I’m still in the 101 class of the Internet Film Studies part of being in a fandom and over-analysing every inch of a show, while I was at least prepared for the writing part of it :P I don’t have a ton of theories or cross-references themes and images they use, unfortunately.) 

Bringing back the prison imagery here was a great way to show how they are now trapped by their old issues on this new problem, and to represent how they are struggling now. Mostly it just adds extra weight and “pay attention” warnings to the stuff going on, especially when you look at where it was in strongest usage. It’s a good visual short hand to their issues, and adds some extra subtlety to the scene. :D I think I remember talking or reading someone else talking about how in 10x16 the choices about when to show the shadows or to film the characters through the grille or not was a great way to “talk” about the scene with the visuals as it was unfolding. 

“I have the band thing,” Thom mumbles. He pulls a sheet of paper out of his pocket and unfolds it, then holds it up for everyone to see. It’s a poster printed on silver holographic paper, with “BATTLE OF THE BANDS” scrawled on in neon pink ink. There’s a date and contest info written beneath, but Colin can’t quite read it. Gwigsey’s eyes snap to it and her pupils narrow.

“Oh yeah! Can’t believe i forgot about that, that’s important,” Donny says.

“We should enter, the prize is a record deal,” Thom says. “And even if we do shitly, we’ll still get a lot of exposure.”

Gwigsey snatches the flier out of Thom’s hands.

Is shitly even a word?

So I came to the conclusion that I’m not really into Lapidot anymore 😔 I don’t know I just like Jaspidot better, like I don’t mind drawing them together but I just prefer Jaspidot or Amedot. I get a lot of Lapidot requests and maybe a few Jaspidot or Amedot, I don’t really see what’s the big deal about them anymore. I find Lapidot VERY overrated and Jaspidot is so uncommon. But oddly I do ship Malaidot(Malachite and Peridot) Because green pals, where are my Amedot and Jaspidot fans at?? ;u;

anonymous asked:

i just want to ask :)) will you be releasing scans from BTS Japan Official Fanclub Magazine Vol.5? Thank you for working hard btw. Fighting!!! Thanks.

no because even though i see lots of people scanning in the japan fanclub magazine without any issues, i feel like if i scan in fc stuff again i’ll cause drama and i don’t want to deal with it lol

Anonymous said:Hi! A couple of questions about the Japanese version of BTS albums (I’m asking bc I think you order them, if not pls ignore this!): Where do you order them if you live in the US? For the versions that come with DVDs, do they have English subs for those or is it only in Japanese? Thanks in advance!! ^^

japanese dvd’s do not come with english subs, i’ve ordered from a few different places: cdjapan, yesasia, amazon jp

Anonymous said:AHHH I LOVE YOUR BLOG SO MUCH, ^__^ I hope you are doing well wherever and whatever you’re up to now

thank you so much!!~

anonymous asked:

Hey i saw your post about asking for advice and stuff. Umm I dont know how to word it so im gonna just word dump it all here. I have anxiety and depression and I know im smart enough to be doing the subjects im doing but after getting into a good study routine for a month or so i'll always have big breakdowns that last for days because work becomes too much and gets overwhelming to a point where i just drop everything. Any advice for maybe working around or preventing these sorts of things? xx

i struggled with this a lot up until very recently - i know exactly how you feel. your situation might be a little different, but i found i was overworking myself so i didn’t have to deal with a lot of underlying issues i was going through - studying a lot made it easier to distance myself from them.

for me, the thing that helped the most was talking to people about it. i’m always an advocate for visiting therapists or counsellors even if you don’t think you’re “depressed enough” (or have any mental health issues at all tbh), but failing that, even just having a scheduled day out every week where you go out with a friend for coffee helps. study routines need to include breaks for yourself. if you have a revision plan, give yourself time out too, even just in the middle of studying - this post by @samsstudygram is a good place to start.

ultimately, you need to find a balance that works for you. it’s not going to be easy, but i suspect you’re using work as a way to not address other things in your life. in the long term, thinking about what those are and dealing with them will help you more than any schedule.

anonymous asked:

It's kind of funny how you guys and anons think they are having sex alk the time. Like some kind of sex addicts or something. With all the family and work people and kids around them all the time. It's hard to see it happening that often. Gwens house looks full all the time with everyone.

Well here is the deal and why myself and others think along those lines. Gwen and Blake are two people who, by words and actions, are super hot for and in love with each other and the fact that they do spend sometimes up to a week apart means that, when they do come together (pun maybe intended), that time is spent becoming reacquainted if you will. They may not do it every night but I would lay (oooh…another pun) money down that they have sex a lot. A lot


anonymous asked:

Hello! Could I get a hug from Anti? I've been dealing with a lot of physical pain lately that's been hard to manage :(

(Do you have any medication to help?!)

Anti had you cradled in his arms in a bridal carry, “I can’t help if ya don’t tell me where it hurts.” Despite his slight irritable tone he was making sure to move slow and not jostle you too much before laying you down on the couch

aprilthevene  asked:

I figured out I was ace shortly after I posted something along the lines of "I don't get everyone's obsession with sex" on Quizup, and someone replied "boy, do I have something to tell you called asexuality" And after looking into that a bit, I figured that's what I was. Pretty boring, but meh.

That’s not boring at all! No way of finding out your sexuality can be boring!
I think for a lot of ace people it starts with “what is the big deal about sex?” anyway. 😊 And bless that person for telling you asexuality is a thing!

Thank you for sharing!