I didn't played it for years

anonymous asked:

I was reading Mako's unboxing story last night (it was amazing and thank you for rescuing her!) and I have to say, I nearly cried. You and Doc are such friendship goals; I hope I can someday find a friend that cares for me as much as you care for one another. Love, DocWolf's biggest fan <3

ANON WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH HORRIBLE HOLLIGAY-THEMED LIES ABOUT ME AFTER ALL I’VE DONE FOR YOU I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BETRAYAL

youtube

I never thought I’d get to see club penguin’s iceberg tip but here we are, probably 10 years since I stopped believing it was possible, and dreams have come true. (Excuse the sniff in the middle - I was holding back tears)

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Naruto Week 2017 // Day Seven
             Free Day // “No matter how far away you are, we will always be under the same sun, moon, and stars.”

Wait for someone who bumps mouths clumsily with yours cos they’re too busy smiling to kiss you properly. Yeah. Wait for that.
—  Azra Tabassum (aka 5000letters)
Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol
  • ok but imagine 
  • Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 
  • and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
  • and he talks about the team a LOT 
  • Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
  • (Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
  • but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend. 
  •  the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
  • Bitty is both confused and mortified

Keep reading

Let's Play: Minecraft – Episode 249
  • *Jeremy kisses Gavin for luck*
  • Gavin: I really didn't expect that. That's like the first pretend gay thing you've ever done to me.
  • Jeremy: It's true, probably in my life.
  • Gavin: Now we're gonna be written about on tumbloid.
  • Ryan: Do you think you're not now?
  • Gavin: Me and Jeremy? I haven't checked Tumblr in three years.
  • Jeremy: I can guarantee we've fucked on Tumblr.
  • Gavin: And I bet I'm receiving.
  • Jeremy: Oh yeah, there's no doubt about that.
  • Ryan: I can guarantee that it's gone both ways.
  • Michael: Ryan knows because he wrote it.
  • Geoff: I definitely see Gavin taking it from Jeremy. And I think Jeremy would be hard and fast.
  • Jack: The question is, who do you see Gavin giving it to?
  • *silence*
  • Jack: That was the correct answer.
  • what she says: i'm fine.
  • what she means: i played 4 fuckin games thinking that by the end of it desmond miles would be this unstoppable badass assassin who would single handedly save the world and turn the tide against abstergo - i thought i would get an amazing modern game where we get to jump off skyscrapers and infiltrate businesses and government buildings in abstergo's pocket and walk around hacking computers and stabbing people and then taking a nap in the animus so we could play as anscestors but noooOOOOooooooOooOoO they had to go and fuckin kill him like i didn't just spend the last 4 games getting emotionally invested in a sarcastic piece of shit bartender i cAN'T BELI E VE

one of my all time favorite things about WW!Ganondorf’s design is that, in a game called Wind Waker, where wind is a central element and theme, his eyebrows are shaped like the symbol for wind within the game

8

[Connor]’s the kind of player that coaches like to coach, and players like to play with.

keep him warm

it’s always sunny in philadelphia sentence starters!

❝ Could we not base our decisions on what does and doesn’t happen in episodes of Scooby-Doo? ❞
❝ Look at me, psychological damage up to here! ❞
❝ I have contained my rage for as long as possible, but I shall unleash my fury upon you like the crashing of a thousand waves! ❞
❝ Am I gay for God? You betcha. ❞
❝ Be gone, vile man! Be gone from me! ❞
❝ Well first of all, through God all things are possible, so jot that down. ❞
❝ Yeah, but we didn’t come here to play with  stray dogs and trash, man. ❞
❝ Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze into a job cannon and fire off into job land where jobs grow on jobbies?! ❞
❝ I’m eating because I’m very uncomfortable. ❞
❝ I’m gonna have a really hard time if we’re both cannibals and racists. ❞
❝ I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong. ❞
❝ Everybody’s dying, bitch. Let’s get you some fruit. ❞
❝ When I’m dead, just throw me in the trash. ❞
❝ I will smack your face off of your face! ❞
❝ Take care of yourself… or whatever people say. ❞
❝ We all have cats we’d like to be playing with right now. ❞
❝ I will eat your babies, bitch! ❞
❝ I’m relaxing, I’m getting blackout drunk, and you’re leaving me alone. ❞
❝ Later, boners! ❞
❝ Do not call these shorts white trash! ❞
❝ If some old boner gives me attitude, I’m gonna spit in his face. ❞
❝ I eat stickers all the time, dude! ❞
❝ I’ve got the stride of a gazelle. A beautiful, beautiful gazelle person. ❞
❝ You know, you light one bitch on fire and everyone freaks out! ❞
❝ Cats do not abide by the laws of nature, you don’t know shit about cats. ❞
❝ If you don’t have car insurance, you better have dental, because I am going to smash your teeth into dust! ❞
❝ I can go from flaccid to erect in a moment’s notice. ❞
❝ I mean, trees? Everywhere trees?! What the hell is this place? ❞
❝ I’ll tell you what’s not cool: crashing my car into a building, exploding a grenade inside of it, and then convincing your friends and family that you’re dead! ❞
❝ Oh my God! She just ate an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! ❞
❝ Hello fellow American, this you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I’m hot. Taxes, they’ll be lower… son. The democratic vote is the right thing to do, so do. ❞
❝ I stepped in front of a bus and it missed me. I can’t even get a bus to hit on me. ❞
❝ I’m having feelings again, like some kind of fourteen year old kid or something. ❞
❝ I don’t think these dogs have masters, I think they play by their own rules. ❞
❝ I have a bleached asshole! ❞
❝ With real power comes real responsibility and I don’t want to do any of that shit. I just want the money… and the illusion of power. ❞

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Happy Easter, everyone!

Tried to remedy the ink disaster, instead you get a half-assed colored Henry oops

owtide submitted:
I am sad and worried and I needed to do something with all of it so I drew this for you. I ran out of time to finish it today (but I will!) but I wanted to say I love you guys, I love you Jet, you are all so important to me. Jet, you have kept me going through some terrible times and you absolutely succeed in being a safe haven and I’m so grateful for you. I wish we could do more. PS, after starting critical role, I now imagine Mako doing Grog’s Rage growl thing.

I LOVE THIS PICTURE

I mean it’s always a good day when we get to hear from you, BUT THIS.

Already the details are extraordinary. Rei and Minako’s joy, the way you worked in how Ami looked to be nearly falling off in my picture, Usagi’s BEST glomphug, MAKO’S ROAR OF TRIUMPH.

And then you have the nerve to be so sweet in the text, what the fuck. It’s not at all that my aggression is covering that I’m too touched to know what to say. Never that.

I love you guys too. So much. AND I LOVE THIS THANK YOU SO MUCH.

justaddcoffeetome  asked:

Sam, I learned tonight that Warren Buffet plays the ukulele, and I felt like you were the kind of person that should know that, if you didn't already. Also, thank you for sharing about how net worth is valuated - that was surprisingly relevant to my current work life and gave me something to talk about with my finance department :D.

WARREN BUFFETT, MY FAVORITE BILLIONAIRE. Oh my god.

Look at this oldmanchild playing his ukulele with the coke-bottle sound hole. 

LET ME TELL YOU SOME SHIT ABOUT WARREN BUFFETT

He lives on coca-cola, Utz potato sticks, and ice cream, because he looked at the actuarial tables and found that six-year-olds have the lowest mortality rate. Also his son Howard is a farmer. Just a straight-up gentleman farmer. Warren’s like “Well yes I hope Howard will take over as chair of Berkshire Hathaway when I die but let’s be clear he’ll be a figurehead because he’s a farmer, not a financial genius, so he’ll be like, the moral compass of the company.” 

This is why I, myself, am the Warren Buffett fandom, a fandom of one. (Unless you count a lot of gross investment advisors which I don’t because they’re not really in the Warren Buffett fandom, they’re in the money fandom, he’s just a BNF in the money fandom.) 

  • Gamegrumps Voltron thing-
  • Lance: oh I know it. I've play regular zelda 1000 times. A- and you kn-
  • Keith: that's impossible.
  • Lance: .... it's DEFINITELY not. *chuckles* um... not all the way through counting as ONE time- uh...
  • Keith: a 1000 times?
  • Lance: yeah-! Y-
  • Keith: that's a ridiculous amount of times.
  • Lance: I was SEVEN when that game came out-!
  • Keith: a THOUSAND TIMES?!
  • Lance: you didn't think I had the fucking free time?! My god my life was DOG SHIT when I was 7.
  • Keith: a THOUSAND. That's a lot of times!
  • Lance: it is. It's every day for like- four years.
  • Keith: i don't think you- really understand...
  • Lance: oh I do~
  • Keith: so how long would you play this game for when you play it like... 30 minutes at least?
  • Lance: yeah.
  • Keith: 30 minutes times a thousand!
  • Lance: yeah.
  • Keith: that's 30 thousand minutes!
  • Lance: yeah.
  • Keith: do you know how much time that is?!
  • Lance: yeah it's a lot a time dude.
  • Keith: THERE'S NO WAY YOU PLAYED ZELDA A THOUSAND TIMES.
  • Lance: you don't think so?
  • Keith: NO!!!
  • Lance: wow. ... you get angry about the weirdest shit.
  • Keith: *bursts out laughing*
  • Lance: *chuckles*