I can't do these things but it was fun to try

aceofalmonds  asked:

Hello! I read (and enjoyed!) the story you posted of your grandpa and his tree disposal methods, and so was looking for the story you mentioned of your other grandpa menacing a peach tree with a baseball bat, but can't seem to find it. Halp?

That would be because I haven’t posted it yet!  Many people have requested the story mentioned in the tags “Grandpa Menaces a Peach Tree With A Baseball Bat”, So here it is, with a side of “Grandpa Menaces The Iowa Relatives With Giant Corn”

**

For the Full Context of this tale, you have to understand how my dad’s side of the family got to America in the first place.  Prior to 1917, they were all farmers of limited success that migrated from county to county, trying not to starve, until a covey of the Fitzpatricks heard that they could be shoveling shit in Grand Americay, far away from the people they owed money to, so they all fucked off to Iowa and somehow made a fortune in the real-estate business in the middle of the depression.  Despite now being comfortably middle-class, they never actually gave up farming, and having a pair of glowing green thumbs was a point of pride in the family.

So, when Grandpa moved out to California, specifically to the Salinas Valley, which is where an absurd percentage of the country’s food is grown because it’s full of probably the world’s most stupidly good soil,  Grandpa had to continue the tradition and set up a garden in the backyard, planted various crops and flowers in January because fuck you this is coastal California, I can start stuff in the middle of winter, and invited his sister Leone and her growing brood of (at the time, 5, later 9 children) out to visit.

They came out in July, to escape the Midwest humidity and Butter fetish for a time, when the corn is typically getting to be around knee-height if things are going well.  Grandpa spent a long time asking how things were back on the farm, plying them with ice tea and grandma’s lethal Angel Food cake, before politely inviting Leone and her Husband Scotty out back to see how his patch was doing, oh its not much really, just a bit of fun for me and the children-

Scotty and Leone stared at the nine-foot-tall goddamn corn which was already setting fruit because it had been going since January.  At the watermelon plant that had taken over the side-yard, and at the other oversize and thriving crops that had taken over grandpa’s yard.  There was a few moments of awed silence.

“Well fuck you Edwin.” Scotty eventually said, before Leone whopped him over the head and the rest of the visit was a pleasant diversion.

the following spring though, Grandpa received a package from Iowa, specifically a small peach tree with a note saying “With Love, Scotty.”

Leone knew better than to engage in such shenanigans, because this is irish-agrarian passive-aggressive Bullshittery at its absolute finest.  “Sure, yeah, you can do corn.  Any asshole can do corn.  TRY THIS FUSSY-ASS PEACH VARIETAL INSTEAD, YOU ASS”  is perhaps a more accurate translation.

Grandpa, not about to be intimidated by a mere tree, planted that sucker in the front yard and proceeded to pamper it- bone meal fertilizer, a brand-new irrigation system, the works.  Hell, he would go out some times and talk to the darn thing.  It flowered, and he borrowed a behive from one of the local farmers to make DARN SURE that it got pollinated, because he was going to mail peaches to Scotty for Christmas, that asshole.

The tree. Did not. fruit.

That fall, grandpa reccived a letter from Scotty, asking after a couple paragraphs of circumlocutions, how that tree he sent was doing?

Grandpa got up, made himself a martini, picked up Dad’s baseball bat, and walked out to the front yard to have a discussion with the Peach tree.  

“I’ve just received a letter.”  he explained, waving the paper at the tree. “Asking when you’re going to fruit.  Now, I think I’ve held up my responsibilities to you as your caretaker, so it’s time for you to start providing.  Do you understand?  This spring, you better start fruiting or I will personally take this bat to you and turn you to into kindling.”

He stepped close to the tree, sticking his face in the branches as though whispering into it’s hypothetical ear. “Do not test me, you little shit.”

The next week, the tree bloomed out of season, and by February, it had set an obscene amount of fruit, which grandpa gleefully turned into preserves and mailed back to Iowa.

My experience with the signs in my life
  • Aries female: so stubborn is incredible. A hot head. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Yells a lot. Cares a lot about her family. Very concerned about her diet. She looks like a cinnamon roll but is a beast inside.
  • Aries male : very intelligent, probably the most intelligent. Can either have a very scientific mind or a very literary mind. Loves to read. LOVES to make puns. Horrible ones. Has the biggest laugh.
  • Taurus female: MY BIGGEST LOVE. Literally the cutest thing. She is so smart and caring and it's true: she loves to eat. Cares so much about everyone, not only her close friends. She almost never get angry but when she does. Ouch.
  • Taurus male: a cutie. Always ready to cheer you up. DOES NOT. BELIEVE. IN. ASTROLOGY. Likes scientific shit. Loves old movies. Always laughs at your jokes. The best friend you can find. Loves Shrek.
  • Gemini female: so strong and independent. Her hair is always on point, so is her outfit. Either very tall or very short. They talk a lot and they love listening to you. Geminis are actually very lovable people. Best companion for a boring class or for lunch break.
  • Gemini male: very bold and confident about himself. Does his own thing. It's not that he is a dick, it's just that he has his own problems to take care of. Except Trump, Trumps is really a dick. Im sorry Geminis that he is in your sign. The cool guy of the class who has a different girl every week. A lil fuckboy but fun to have a chat with. Loves videogames and perfect pal to get drunk with.
  • Cancer female: not a crybaby. Actually HATES to cry in public. More often than you think, very extroverted. Very passionate about what she loves. High ambitions, starts many things and then get bored. So many puns oh god.
  • Cancer male: oh boy. "Nightmare dressed as a daydream". Makes you feel so special. Boyfriend material. Usually dark hair and dark eyes. Not very tall. Adorable. Special laugh. Will do great things in life. Very creative but kinda introvert(?) WILL RATHER DIE THAN CRY IN PUBLIC.
  • Leo female: very close about her private things but she will open up if you demonstrate her she can trust you. Loves everyone. Not that confident about herself. Very confident about the world, tho. Wants to move someplace else and experience. People respect her.
  • Leo male: Stonehead™. Literally smokes all the time to forget about the pain he feels. Hides emotions and then explodes, usually with rage. Either very close to you that he calls you every day, or he'll completely ignore you. Smart even tho it doesn't look like. The lonely wolf.
  • Virgo female: so stubborn and independent. She knows what she wants and she'll get it. Can get very clingy to the people she loves but sometimes neglect other people she loves even tho she doesn't notice. Get mad easily for the little things. The queen. Just listen to her, she knows the shit.
  • Virgo male: cute but doesn't have his own personality. Sometimes gets involved in ugly companies and does things he doesn't want to. Very sensitive but tries to hide it. Actually cares about you even tho he wants to appear a tough boy. Pretends he doesn't care about school, ends up with all A. Probably very good at soccer.
  • Libra female: becomes part of your family if she isn't already. Amazing lipsticks. Always has great stories to tell. Lives in the clouds. Forgets about things easily but won't forget the important things. Has so many passions but get easily distracted when she is studying for an exam. Perfect person to binge watch Sherlock with.
  • Libra male: my everything. Pretends he's a gryffindor but deep down is a slytherin. Stunning. Gets high grade without doing shit. The teacher favorite. The one you can do stupid shit with. Will do anything for you. Listens to you 24/7. Loves tv shows. Very smart. Will probably end up doing something very important. Perfect dad.
  • Scorpio female: actually very sweet and caring, as much as cancer. Never shows off her emotions but you'll know when she cares about you. She's like a mama bear. She'll call you if she feels you are not happy. She'll call you constantly. Extroverted and kind. Best presents ever. Looks naive but very cautious.
  • Scorpio male: ok so my ex fwb was a scorpio and i gotta say they get emotionally attached. Pretend they don't care AT ALL and then calls u at 2 in the morning telling u they love you. Just be careful cause they don't know what they want. Obsessed with electronic things and sex.
  • Sagittarius female: literally on fire. SHE. TALKS. SO. MUCH. I have so many different feelings about her. Either i love completely or I can't stand her. She pretends she knows everything. She's so slow at doing everything, except talking. Laughs a lot. Very sensitive deep down. So loud.
  • Sagittarius male: Pretty introverted. The fire is hidden. He's a freaking badass. If he cares about you, he will show you. Most likely to call you at midnight for your birthday. Very sweet. Goes big or goes home, especially in love. Both a cinnamon and a sinnamon roll. Like if he ain't in the same political party as you, just don't mention politics. That's when the fire shows.
  • Capricorn female: so. she actually cares about you. but she has so much shit going on so she might forget to come at a place you invited her, she won't even apologize but when something happens to you, be sure she'll call. She's absolutely cute and she has been hurt so many times so it's hard for her to trust people completely.
  • Capricorn male: THE FUCKING FANBOY. He loves to travel and to try new things. He is so shy but with his friends he's crazy. Laughs at his own jokes. Extremely sensitive and when he loves, he loves hard. So intelligent and interesting. Absolutely adorable.
  • Aquarius female: the sweetest. she gets clingy to everyone but because she wants to have friends and do things and has a lot of problems but holds everything in and puts her friends first and she's hurt. The most precious human. She needs, she deserves to be loved the most. Learns very quickly and she's very honest.
  • Aquarius male: the devil™. Actually he is funny, like so many jokes, but sometimes it's just too much. He hates when people offend him. Gets on the defensive. Kinda selfish and cares a lot about like 3 people (?). Like he will kill for them. So much drama, boy. Probably failed history and algebra 2 twice.
  • Pisces female: such a badass and a cutiepie at the same time i don't even know how this is possible. she has such a strong personality and loves her friends. Determined and will fight with her teeth for what she loves. You need to have a pisces in your life. She always says she will kill a person but then she just like run away.
  • Pisces male: like just like the pisces female. Cares so much about his family and shows his emotions easily, whether is anger or sadness or happiness. Determined but also insecure about himself, but will do great things.
Shit the Foxes said on talk shows
  • Neil: So Kevin comes in at like 1 in the morning, brand new tattoo on his face, and he's drunk as hell but he's making this surprisingly coherent speech about being the deadliest piece of the board, and I'm just sitting there not saying a word because I don't know a thing about chess.
  • Dan: There's a video on my computer containing cuts from every single time Andrew sent a ball flying into someone's head set to the Donky Kong theme song. It's two and a half hours.
  • Allison: Neil has this thing where bad things happening to him are like a matter of fact. Once, he and I met up for lunch, and when the bill came he asked if he could pay me back later because he got mugged on the way over. As it turns out, what I mistook for Neil being a picky eater was actually Neil trying to eat without upsetting a shallow stab wound.
  • Renee: I don't drink alcohol because you can't account for what you'll do when you're drunk. Though sometimes that turns out fun. About a year ago we found out that Matt knows how to sing Sweden's national anthem backwards by heart, and that was hilarious. But on the other hand I've had Allison and Nicky competing on who can break a glass with their voice at three in the morning, so.
  • Matt: Kevin is definitely seems like everything in his life is about Exy, but get to know him and you realize that he has plenty of interests, it's just that he has no concept of doing things in moderation. So it's less a stick up his butt and more like, I don't know, a pool noodle or something.
  • Aaron: Neil doesn't have a concept of money, a fact which on any given day swings between hilarious and flat out tragic. He refused to pay $15.90 for new pants but said he'd pay for my med school if I stopped making fun of his new haircut. To be clear, both of these things happened in the same conversation.
  • Nicky: I love God, I do. He's always in my heart. But I guess God has abandonment issues because every time I see a commercial for a McFlurry I can just feel him testing me.
  • Andrew: The thing about the Foxes is that the stress level on any given day can fluctuate so wildly you get whiplash. One day you're getting yelled at for not blocking a shot, the next you're getting yelled at for "obstruction of justice" or whatever it is the Feds call it when you remind them that they can't come in without a search warrant. Why Wymack does this willingly is beyond me.
  • Kevin: On the one hand, the Foxes are much less organized, not to mention a smaller team. Every game, we're at an almost immediate disadvantage. On the other hand, Ravens are contractually forbidden from Irish coffee. So overall the decision isn't hard.
Hospital Starters
  • [ Requested by Anon about a week ago. Warnings for blood, suicidal thoughts, and medical stuff. Thanks! : ]
  • "Hey, you're awake!"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "You hit your head. There was so much blood that I got scared."
  • "Don't try to get up. You're safe here."
  • "I hate this place..."
  • "How could you do this to yourself?"
  • "The world didn't give me a choice, and now, I'm suffering even more!"
  • "You really came..."
  • "I told you I would be here when you woke up."
  • "How many tests did they do on you?"
  • "If I wasn't drugged up, I could tell you the names of every test they do in this place."
  • "When are they going to let you leave?"
  • "They said that I'll be here for a few days. Maybe a week."
  • "What happened to you? You have so many things sticking out of you."
  • "That's what happens when you're dying."
  • "It's probably time to change those bandages..."
  • "You aren't in pain, are you?"
  • "You were in an accident. You almost didn't make it."
  • "That would explain why I feel terrible."
  • "I thought you were dead..."
  • "I'm not dead, am I?"
  • "I didn't know it was this bad..."
  • "I may not live much longer..."
  • "I'm dying..."
  • "You can't die! There has to be something they can do!"
  • "I'm too far gone for any surgery to fix me."
  • "I want you to know that I'll miss you most."
  • "Don't say that! I don't like it when you talk like this..."
  • "I just want it to happen so I don't have to think about it all the time."
  • "I wanted to say goodbye to you one more time."
  • "If you don't get some sleep, I'm going to hit this button and tell a nurse you're bothering me."
  • "Don't abuse that call button!"
  • "You know that button only works every five seconds, right?"
  • "Maybe if I push it hard enough, more will come out."
  • "I get to come home today."
  • "Did you fill out the release forms yet?"
  • "They hooked me up with a bunch of prescriptions. I'm gonna be high as a kite."
he’s the beauty; she’s the beast

so i’m sure the remake of a timeless classic that disney is about to roll out is going to be great and all

but here’s another way we could do things:

he’s the beauty

she’s the beast

for a movie who’s central theme is inner beauty, it doesn’t really do anything to support that, you know? so how about this: adam, our prince turned beast, isn’t an inhospitable monster. because this back story doesn’t make any sense – why is the young prince of this land alone, in a castle, only to be caught unaware by a witch?

so how about this – this is pseudo france, right, so these royals do what their real life counterparts did. they flee. the cruel, greedy king and queen flee and leave their young son behind with their staff. their son who is kind and soft hearted and totally unfit to rule any kingdom (never mind that they’re literally running away from their own people). not only that – they trade their son for their freedom, trade their kingdom for their freedom. to the witch.

so the witch comes, and she doesn’t disguise herself as a crone, goes to him looking as lovely and young as her magic keeps her. but our prince adam has a talent, one many cast-aside, neglected children have developed – the ability to see people for who they really are, and he knows this is no kind young woman in need of his help. he refuses to let her in – and there’s this little twist to the magic, that she can only enter the palace grounds and claim her prize if she’s welcomed in a as a guest, and he, the young master of this castle, won’t let her in.

Keep reading

i wish i could do things right and i wish i had motivation to get up

anonymous asked:

so I've been having a really hard time with heads and faces recently, especially the head shapes and eyes. Ive been trying to change it up a bit but I just can't get it how I like it and I was wondering if you had any piece of advice? Idk if its a style thing or what but its starting to really frustrate me (for some dumb reason ;u;) Thanks in advance!!

there’s such a good exercise for that, actually! It works especially well with differing the head shapes, but can work for eyes as well! You take your hand a draw a random shape. Then filling it with features. Say, you draw a potatoe-shaped object. It doesn’t have to be precise of anything, since it’s just your carcass. 

then, whatever comes to your mind about that shape. You can change it slightly if you want to, or you can leave it the way it is and just draw features (and extra volume to the head if necessary)

here’s just a few examples i could come up with 

they are fast so don’t look for too anatomically correct stuff, but you get the idea! Draw a lot of shapes and fill them in.. SOmetimes you should draw many to figure out what fits your character best.

I had the file with quite many shapes somewhere but I’m not sure if it’s on the laptop or pc so..without that. But generally, try it out! It’s not only fun, but can help you decide on the features and differ the shapes. You can do the same thing for eyes as well;) 

First-Meeting Sentence Starters
  • Several different scenarios that can be combined or modified for your pleasure:
  • "Uh, hi there."
  • "I was here first. Go to the back of the line!"
  • "Excuse me, is there any way you could let me go before you? I'm in a hurry."
  • "Service here is TERRIBLE today!"
  • "Is this seat taken?"
  • "Do you have a moment to talk?"
  • "Hi, listen, there's someone following me, and I'm paranoid so can you talk to me for a few minutes to make it look like I'm not alone?"
  • "Here, take this and run with me. I'll explain later!"
  • "Do you have some cash? This vending machine just ate the last of mine..."
  • "Hey, were you going to use this machine next? It gave me a free bag of chips, and I don't need to eat that many!"
  • "Do you work here?"
  • "Look, I'm not an employee, but the ____ are right over there."
  • "Hey, is this yours? It was by your feet."
  • "Are you from ____ or ____?"
  • "Hello, ____."
  • "I swear I've seen you on TV."
  • "Yes, I'm ____, and I can take a picture with you if you want."
  • "Oh my gosh, can I pet your dog?!"
  • "Sorry, there was a hair hanging off of your sleeve, and it was bothering me."
  • "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you!"
  • "Wait a minute! I think they mixed up our orders."
  • "Ugh, this isn't my food. Did anyone here order a ____?"
  • "You look so cold. Do you want to borrow my jacket?"
  • "H-Hey, I'm freezing. Is there any way I can s-stand close to you and maybe get warmer?"
  • "You poor thing, you look like you're cooking! Here, take a bottle of water."
  • "It's so hot I think I might pass out. Can you help me?"
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "Oh, good, you're awake. What happened to you?"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "Get in! You're in danger!"
  • "Please, let me ride with you. There's someone after me!"
  • "Grab the spare helmet and jump on."
  • "Are you playing ____?"
  • "Hey, do you want to trade friend codes?"
  • "Hi, my date just stood me up, so now I have a free ticket."
  • "I'd love to take that free spot as long as you don't mind sitting next to me."
  • "Have you seen a lost child around here?"
  • "I found this child, and by the look on your face, I think they're yours."
  • "That coat isn't real fur, is it?"
  • "If you can't tell the difference between real animal pelt and fake, you shouldn't be harassing people on the street."
  • "Are we locked in here?"
  • "Can I use your phone?"
  • "Here, take my phone. No questions asked."
  • "What's cookin' good lookin'?"
  • "If you're trying to flirt with me, you may want to try again."

anonymous asked:

How do open snoot??? I have so many problems when it comes to drawing open mouthed critters/expressions!! I just can't wrap my mind around how open snouts work with the skull or the circles I use for the skull anyhow.. Do you have any advice on this??

 I’M GONNA TRY MY BEST TO EXPLAIN THIS because, man i feel u but at the same time I know very little about the technical anatomy when it comes to skulls ;;

Let’s do a sorta above ¾ view for this rlly quick, when I start out, I always like to establish one part of the snout at a time, instead of trying to just DIVE RIGHT IN. So I start by putting vague upper muzzle shapes here, just to get the direction goin’

NOW WE GOTTA GIVE THIS THING A LOWER JAW to help keep it symmetrical, I like to pull the lines from the corners of the upper lips. DON’T BE AFRAID TO OVERLAP, OVERLAPPING IS IMPORTANT IN GENERAL BUT ESPECIALLY WHEN DRAWING OPEN MUZZLES LIKE THIS!! See that line that goes from the upper right corner of the lip and through the top half of the muzzle? I basically use that as my guide to keep from pulling the jaw too far out, or too far in. Don’t worry if it looks a bit like they have an underbite either, depending on the angle, perspective will do that..it likes to fuk with ur brain a bit

OKAY NOW we’re bringing back the overlapping line because chins are still hard for me to draw and I change how i do it constantly but this is a good method to get a chin that doesn’t thrust too much outwards or inwards (unless that’s the specific jaw shape you were going for with ur character, then by all means do so!!! ) bring the line from the further corner of the eye, form the cheek, and bring it down (overlapping over the top jaw as we are wont to do) and bring it AROUND TOWN. You see here that it’s kinda boxy and I could probably curve that line some more to give a more slender look but w/e IT WORKS WITH MOST SHAPES

if you’re referring to something like the BND draw I posted recently, it’s pretty much a similar course of action, so let’s use this  asshole as an example because his mouth is obnoxiously wide when it’s open 

Start off with the upper jaw, again, it’s easier to piece these things together vs trying to shove all the shapes together at once (for me it is anyways) 

i’m doing this from profile view this time but you can see the overlapping lines still work!! I roughly places where the otherside of the upper corner of the lip would be on the side we don’t see and used that to help me get an idea of how far down the lower jaw is gonna go~! Don’t worry, it’s gonna look awkward most of the time  and it’s a perfect chance to go in and fix the length of the upper/lower jaw before you start adding in deets like the tongue and teeth! <:

there we go!!!! looks a lot less awkward LOL

you can also do something like this if ur feeling kinda toony (it’s really fun, simple yet effective!)

It can work for a lot of different styles, from realism to toony to my stupid doodles i do a lot when being a Serious Artist ™ is just 2 much for me :^)

BUT YEAH HERE U GO I HOPE THIS HELPS

Hogwarts Headcannons
  • Give me Dean, muggleborn that he is, imitating Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures class, much to everyone's confusion except for Harry and Hermione who are. On the ground. Unable to breathe. And refusing to explain why.
  • Give me Harry, demisexual that he is, realizing that the reason he can't stop obsessing over Draco is because Draco is the one who saw - and subsequently disliked - 'Harry', and not The Boy Who Lived. Realizing that Draco was the only one to first talk to him for HIM, in that robe shop, and not his parents or fame (because even Ron and Hermione did that at first). And thus, leading to him randomly starting crying in the middle of lunch and claiming he's doomed, much to everyone's fear.
  • Give me Seamus, pyro that he is, super happy one Christmas when Hermione buys him a book on fire caution, flammable materials, and elements such as magnesium. Thus afterward, the mysterious fires that have always happened are far more safe and controlled.
  • Give me Luna, wonderful airhead that she is, being stared at as, calm as anything, she waltzes right into the Slytherin common room and starts talking to the mermaids like its absolutely normal. A first year drops a book he's staring so hard, because HOW DID SHE KNOW THE PASSWORD. Draco just sighs, gets up, goes over to her, and offers her tea.
  • Give me Draco. Who looks on as Neville offers Harry rhubarb pie that he made himself, as Harry stares forlornly at his Treacle Tart, and makes and annoyed sound. "Dammit Longbottom he hates bittersweets." The Slytherins stare and Pansy just mutters "How do you even know these things. Merlin, help him realize."
  • Give me Parvati, who is being constantly mistaken for her sister by Ron, who panics and screams "IM A LESBIAN" when it gets to be too much.
  • Give me Ron, who stares wide-eyes from a distance whenever he sees Padma from that moment on for a full week, until Padma flips out too and hexes him. Parvati awkwardly wonders why Ron starts getting scared whenever she tries to approach from then on, since she knows Ron doesn't have problems due to that sort of thing from how he handles Harry.
  • Give me the thirty or so of the school's Muggle-raised, who made the mistake of showing their folks howlers, and react accordingly whenever one of the families sends one that is just a recording of Rick Astley, or High School Musical, or spoilers for Doctor Who. And the Wizard-raised just... staring... in fear... watching their savior and multiple other students as they run around screaming and crying in an absolute panic for some reason even though it was a different student that got the weird howler.
  • Give me Harry, whose hair surprises people by being dark red like his mother's when in direct sunlight. And usually at the Weasley den they're inside, but one day Harry joins them outside for a picnic, and Molly is so confused about where Harry went to then has do do a mental tally of her children.
  • Give me George, who in the midst of the final battle, hit Lucius with an Anaticula curse, so that every spell he tries makes a duck instead. And the Death Eaters are just so confused. "Lucius... is that a duck?"
  • Give me the Gryffindor common room. The new first years suggest Monopoly for game night. The entire room goes dead silent. One first year tries to ask what they did wrong. "Never mention that game again," is the only response they get. "But why-" "NEVER TALK ABOUT SIXTH YEAR. WE NEVER TALK ABOUT SIXTH YEAR." Their brave upperclassman Neville yells, trembling. Hermione starts crying. Harry goes into a panic attack. Ron whispers, "There are many reasons we don't talk about sixth year. If The Incident had been the only thing that happened, we would only not talk about The Incident. Many things happened that year. Thus, we do not speak of that year, or of that game."
  • Give me McGonagall, who struggles to control the cat population, because while students are told to have their cats fixed you know not all 100 students that brought cats did so. Her curling up around a litter that lost their mother to illness. Training them to stalk the corridors. Albus had his ways of getting information, and hers is the spy network of cats.
  • Give me muggleborns singing everything from Phantom of the Opera to Katy Perry in the corridors. Singing We Will Rock You to a pureblood who disses them for it. The purebloods thinking the weird songs and their tunes are some kind of Rite of Passage and fleeing whenever a muggleborn student starts singing. Altering song lyrics. "I throw my ferret in the air some-times, singin EEEEEEEYO, this is DRAAAAAACO!"
  • Give me muggleborns that are really confused about the whole quill instead of pens things, throwing transfigured pokeballs in Care of Magical Creatures, the band students bringing kazoos and harmonicas and the wizrd-raised students that are just so confused as to how those things even work, because it must be some sort of air magic, right??
  • Give me muggleborns making entire conversations out of pop culture references specifically to confuse some Slytherin who just called one girl a Mudblood. "These are not the droids you were looking for." "I'm right on top of that now Rose, I promise." -jazz hands-
  • Give me muggleborns with Patronus that are things like Pikachu, velociraptors, the quiet Canadian transfer student with a moose patronus the size of a SMALL HOUSE, the one whose is a angeled-out Castiel, the one whose patronus is the democrat donkey and another the republican elephant and the two, previously best friends, become mortal enemies rivaling the fame of Harry and Draco.
  • Give me muggleborns hugging each other before break, promising to 'call' each other, trading weird codes, how they can't wait to go for 'sushi' or planning that trip together to 'disneyland' where they can go flying?? But no one's allowed magic?? Or flying?? And the wizard-raised think that somehow, shockingly,<i> these children totally new to our world have developed a way to cheat the system?? Muggleborns are badasses!!</i>
  • Give me muggleborns who are fully aware that the anti-tech wards were made when, like, radios barely even existed, much less cellphone towers and microprocessors, so while they can't turn them on inside the stone school walls there's this group that Harry joins constantly that just sit there in silence staring at these tiny things and sometimes randomly laughing hysterically, and every now and then standing and just running all the way across to the other side of the lake all at the same time with no signal whatsoever. The purebloods are <i>terrified</i> of this frequent happening.
  • Give me Harry, Hermione, Dean, and Justin from the D.A, muggleborns they are, doing a movie night every week to help the D.A. relax and bond. They re-start this after the battles, during eighth year, with several other people such as the returned Slytherins joining in. The entire year they play things like Tangled, The Breakfast Club, Brave, Lion King. But then the last four weeks, they announce they don't want to mislead everyone that everything is all fun and rainbows. The last four movies are My Sister's Keeper, The Shining, Marley and Me, and for the last week, a marathon of the entire Jurassic Park series.
  • Give me Hufflepuffs, who secretly are very relieved to be the 'normal' House. Jocks over there, know-it-alls over there, goth wannabees over there, now lets go camp out by the kitchens we're gonna need it to survive the next seven years like this.
  • Give me Ravenclaws who are so done with the riddles when they stumble back at midnight after having fallen asleep in the Library. "What's the truth?" "THE TRUTH IS THAT I WILL SET YOU ON FIRE IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN."
  • Give me the Trio, who use the Marauder's Map to find the most absolutely ridiculous routes to class, knowing every single one of the shortcuts. It's not odd for them to simply appear out of the ceiling. One day the new first years try to follow them, to learn the school better, but it doesn't go so well because then they try to go through a disappearing wall the Trio just did they instead run headfirst into it, and the next time they do behind a tapestry, down a waterside, around some sort of tower, causally past an entire doorless room full of bats, and somehow come out on the complete other side of the castle.
  • Give me Draco whose just completely had it with Harry's staring and confronts him, like they always do, and Harry just blurts out that he likes Draco's new haircut and can he touch his hair, and Draco so shocked he lets him. "Potter stop treating me like a cat I'm evil remember? Bloody hell have you gone daft?!" "But... it's soft..." "I hate you." But he just can't find any anger over this, so there's like no venom whatsoever in it and Harry can't stop giggling.
  • Give me Ginny, who can't stop giggling as Luna confuses the fuck out of an entire crowd with her way of speaking, and who during seventh year could 100% get away with insulting the Death Eaters because of the way she said things. Who after Luna used said tactic to get her out of a Crucio punishment just clung to Luna, shaking, and realizing that she loves Luna so much for this very reason. That there will never be another person like Luna in her life, ever.
  • Give me Harry, who was not really well educated while living at the Dursleys, who couldn't read very well but was wonderful at sneaking around, little tricks like hiding things, and loved music. He taught himself magic tricks, and MERLIN ALMIGHTY THIS 11 YEAR OLD KID HAS MASTERED VANISHING SPELLS, WHAT, HOW, and Percy, uptight prefect he is, just looses it.
  • Give me Ron walking in on Harry talking to some random snake in their dorm room, laughing like the snake said a particularly good joke, tipping his head and smiling as he responds, the python slowly curling up his arm to rest over his shoulder. Ron freezes, stares, and then slowly backs away, closes the door and stands there staring at it for a full half hour in absolute horror.
  • Give me the rest of the D.A. walking into the Room of Requirement and hearing screaming, Dean shrieking that he's going to murder someone, Hermione crying, Justin cursing like a sailor yelling for everyone to stop, and the rest panic and run around the corner and there the four Muggle-raised students are. With some sort of odd device in their hands. Playing Mario Kart.
Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.

here’s the thing: I liked la la land. It was a cute movie. the dancing was fun. cinematography wise? breathtaking

but you know what really, really bothered me while I was watching it?

all of the diversity in the background

they’re in LA. there’s men and women of every color dancing and singing in the opening number. it really reflects how diverse and wonderful LA really is!

and then the story begins and we zoom in on… two white people falling in love

one of whom is obsessed with preserving Jazz as a musical genre

look me in the eyes and TELL ME WHY a white actor had to play that role

Jazz has DISTINCTLY black roots

we could have had an interracial couple

HELL, we could have had a struggling black musician and a struggling black actress trying to get her big break

and it sucks because while I DO love Gosling and Stone and they did a great job

all I can do is look at the movie and feel the POTENTIAL that it had, had they casted their leads differently

so yeah it bothers me when they act like la la land was “such a feat” and they were “worried it wouldn’t have an audience” when like… come on. two well known white leads falling in love. gimme a break.

what your rising sign needs to hear
  • Aries: You tend to go 100 mph all the time, you are aggressive, rash, assertive, and definitely independent. You are the shooting star in the sky, and no one can stop you from winning the competition. Slow down, before you hurt yourself or others. You need to have patience for those around you. Take a deep breath, everything's going to be okay.
  • Taurus: Unlike Aries, you believe that great things are created by good practice. You take your time, and success never fails on you. You build your own tree, your own garden, but with time in hand. Everything you posses is yours, and no one has the right to touch what's yours. But tame that jealousy, that possessiveness that has control of your heart; because either you or your loved ones are going to end up suffocating.
  • Gemini: You are very talkative, anxious, indecisive and very flexible. You love to seek new travels and adventures, and always ready for something different. To others, you may appear as if you're very confident, and people always tell you how much fun you are. But secretly, you know there are some ruptured dams, and broken pieces down there. So please, take care of yourself and learn how to juggle and control those emotions.
  • Cancer: Your emotions are always going up and down like the tidal waves; but you make sure that there is always security around you even when there's a hurricane occurring. You are sensitive and compassionate, you always love to take care of people gently and kindly. But I am afraid - that one day you will pick up an injured snake and try to mend it back to life, but not knowing that once you have healed it the snake will bite you. Learn to pick the good and the bad.
  • Leo: As Leos are known for, they have big egos and tend to have a more fierce roar than bite. You love the attention, the idea of fame and royalty all just for you. When someone dares to pick and jab with you, you get angry; but not for too long. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you aren't ashamed about it. But be careful, because when someone knows exactly where your scar is, they'll try to poke it until you bleed again. If someone does, learn how to control humiliation, there will be people who will try to embarrass you. If they do, just keep your head up.
  • Virgo: Your eyes are anything but gentle; they are fast, steady and they are quick to pick up a detail and analyze it. You love to gain knowledge just about anything. And nevertheless, you strive for perfection. Though all this careful studying and analyzing leads you to great anxiety and non-existent problems that you create in your own head. Cool down, and stop being nervous so much. Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything will be okay.
  • Libra: As a Libra, it is known for being indecisive. Chocolate or vanilla? Even though there is a life - long battle in your head, you seek to peaceful, balanced, and poised relationships around you. You need friends and affection, and that's okay. But please, don't let that war inside you tear you apart. You're stronger than this. Believe me. Okay?
  • Scorpio: Like Libra, you have a similar dilemma in life. Cool and collected on the outside, but torn and broken on the inside. As a person who is very quiet in general, you like to know everything about yourself. Why you do this, why you do that. It's great that you want to learn more about yourself, but sometimes you look into your mistakes way too much. Learn to forgive yourself and others, because if not, happiness will seem like a more distant memory than a feeling.
  • Sagittarius: You are very fun to be around, you love traveling and interested in learning cultures or ideas. You are a risk-taker, a flame in the middle of the forest. But it is very confusing with you, you either rise high to the stars or sink deep into the depths. There is no in between with you, and that's fine, as long as you are okay with it. Even though you love to explore new things, you tend to procrastinate on what you find boring. Expand your ideas, because maybe you might find something that you absolutely love.
  • Capricorn: You're very hard working, practical, reserved, responsible, and extremely ambitious. You make a goal, and you go for it, no matter how big or small the obstacles you have to face. Life is a game for you, and even though you always end up winning, you never let go the mistakes you made in the process. Being self-critical can be or good, so make sure it is always good. But please, do not concentrate on your ambitions too much, loosen up and have fun. Make sure to always talk with friends, maintain your level of happiness high.
  • Aquarius: You are friendly, unusual, rebellious, and intellectual. You love making your own ideas and making them eccentric, different from everybody else. You want to be enveloped in your own ideas and inventions, in your own bubble of glitter and star dust. You crave freedom, space, and individuality all the time, but when you are put into a cage and you can't fly, you get impatient, angry, and anxious. Even though you are a bit detached, you have very good organizing abilities and can always prioritize. All these traits are wonderful to have, but make sure the half of you is not building a wall between you and your emotions. Your friends and family need you, and so do you to them. Less head and more heart.
  • Pisces: Like Aquarius, you like to spend your day in your head and love to daydream. You are tend to dream life than live it, but please don't end up losing yourself. It's a necessity for you to be alone at times, and that's okay. You are very sensitive and compassionate, and sometimes plastic. But you have the qualities that people desire to have, everyone wants to talk to you and vent about their feelings. You must and want to serve others in life, but do not let yourself be taken advantage of.
5

everybody lives AU | AKATSUKI
• setting — the Last

Akatsuki becomes a mercenary group for hire, as they did in Road to Ninja. 
This is more appropriately named the “everybody comes back to life and somehow things work out AU”… but as promised, 10 Akatsuki members in the timeline of The Last! Designing is fun (esp the village flak jackets) (・∀・)

See more extensive character/AU details below the cut!:

Keep reading

6

Guess what, ASLR found Garp’s suitcase full of Hawaiian shirts :D
Inspired by chapter 47 of Tell it to the Marines, when Sabo wore a Hawaiian shirt! I loved that!

the signs based on people i personally know
  • aries: probably the hardest working and also the best procrastinator. they have no filter. will drop everything to help you. has the wildest almost unbelievable stories and evidence in case you don't believe them. can make you smile even when you feel like shit.
  • taurus: the biggest romantic with the biggest heart. you don't think they care about you? they do. fuzzy blanket enthusiast. no matter how busy they are, how much work they have to do, if you need to talk, they're there. they won't share unless you ask. always watching a new tv show.
  • gemini: probably knows the scientific explanation behind that. not two faced contrary to popular belief, but is just so goddamn charming they can get along with various types of people. will literally wallow in their negative emotions until they burst. humour is their best defense mechanism.
  • cancer: will call you out if you act stupid. wants you to remember all the good times you've had with them because they're scared you'll forget and leave them behind. willing to drive for hours to get some really good food.
  • leo: has the courage to say the things that everyone else was too afraid to say. can be sobbing one second and making jokes the next. has the most random things on their wall, but in an organized way. will drive to your house at midnight because they wanted to be with you.
  • virgo: their room is actually a mess most of the time. likes to avoid their problems a lot. but once forced to deal with them, it didn't even seem like they were struggling at all. more of a listener. often has flashbacks of dumb things they've said.
  • libra: prioritizes the wrong things. it takes a while for their jokes to be understood by the public. has a recognizable catchphrase. has no tolerance for assholes and will literally go off on you and make you rethink your life choices.
  • scorpio: so determined. will do anything to distract themselves from their emotional instability. has hundreds of friends but only considers 3 of them as real ones. sleeps a lot because its the only time their mind shuts up. will remember that one thing you said seven years ago.
  • sagittarius: always thinks of something fun to do. has a lot of doubts and insecurities about themselves and won't believe you when you try to reassure them. very picky about the people they choose to spend their time with. clumsy af and will literally trip on air. you probably owe them money.
  • capricorn: sometimes you can't tell if they're being serious or if they're joking. often questions the validity of their friendships. probably cried the other night. likes to go on roofs. good at looking productive but they are actually just looking at cat videos.
  • aquarius: so incredibly talented. cannot multitask for their life. belts at the top of their lungs in the shower. when they're walking it looks like they're walking to the beat of some 80s funk song. they are the shoulder you cry on. handles confrontation well.
  • pisces: tries to act really tough and independent but in reality they just want a big hug. loves insulated water bottles. has an encyclopedia full of inside jokes they share with their friends. was probably the teacher's favorite. owns books they haven't even opened
4

Team CFVY aesthetics

anonymous asked:

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You’ll be able to complete the surveys and redeem your points for paypal cash, a check, or giftcards. (i’ve gotten lots of PapaJohns & Starbucks so far they a ton to pick from!) Good luck and have fun! I wish someone told me about this sooner :)

anonymous asked:

I can't help but hate levi///han now that levi is a dick to hange and doesn't deserve her I read this theory that questiong thing from this month means they are not even friends anymore bcoz levi doesn't feel comfortable enough to call hange by the nickame he had for her anymore and that's sad and also makes me angry because hange is always so nice to him and levi is a douche

Eh, that’s not how I see it.

IMO him dropping that nickname means 1) he legitimately respects her new position and wants to place an emphasis on that by example (humanity’s strongest soldier respecting the new commander is a big deal), and 2) he’s actively trying not to be a dick by throwing out a nickname that is NO LONGER APPROPRIATE – not just due to her rank, but, you know, the fact that she’s lost/damaged/ruined one of her eyes, now. 

The situation that ruined her eye was extremely traumatic: it got her work assistant killed–not to mention all of her colleagues: people’s she’s known for years of her career. This includes Erwin, whose shoes she has to fill right away. I doubt she wants the reminder of that terrible day spat out of Levi’s mouth like it’s some kind of a funny joke when there’s very little chance of her being able to see it that way anymore. I know everyone thinks Hange would take it with a grain of salt and all that (cracking jokes galore), but she has feelings and again: the situation was very traumatic. You don’t see Levi cracking jokes about his traumatic experiences, do you?

Fandom conveniently forgets that Hange is a person who experiences human emotion because they’re desperate to keep the ship dynamic for levihan the same forever.

And look, until we got this information, I think interpreting Hange as the sort of person who wanted normalcy there to distract from the depressing and painful reality was believable and realistic.

But with this information it seems that’s not actually the case.

And that’s okay! There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s okay for your headcanons to be proven wrong on occasion.

And listen to me, here: people change. They grow, and it’s not always apart. Sometimes they grow together, especially after they’ve been through something rough. The fight in Shiganshina was a rough experience. 

Hange has been through a surprising lot, though she’s barely focused on during those chapters. Almost the entire military branch she works in was wiped out. She lost countless acquaintances and friends. Now she has to lead what’s left of it…and without an eye. I wish fandom would stop laughing it off like it’s a cute “fun” injury because it looks “cool.” It was probably highly traumatic and painful for her, not just in the moment, either. The fact that it took so long for her to get treatment might have even been the real reason she lost it. The eye loss is associated with all kinds of trauma, both physical and mental. She’s a soldier, she’s accepted that something like this could happen, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with; it doesn’t make any of her losses less painful.

So let’s talk about the responsibility that’s instantly clamped down on her shoulders after this, because Hange doesn’t even get a second to herself to just, you know, mourn or be sad. She’s the commander now. And while the SC might have sealed the wall(s), it was at a great price (and still under Erwin’s command almost entirely). Hange is going to have to fight for respect from pretty much everyone. Mission accomplished and all, but now that the walls are sealed, humanity is safe again lmao fuck the Survey Corps do we even need that branch anymore? Hange is going to have to present a case to save humanity and exterminate the titans and she’s going to need all the respect she can get to do that. She’s going to need more soldiers because <10 isn’t going to be enough. She’s going to need money and supplies and gear. I hate saying this, but it might not be something she’s capable of presenting on her own merit because she’s largely unknown by the people. (Her newspaper shenanigans help her case but only in that specific area.) However, humanity’s strongest soldier has pretty much all the respect from everyone in this world. If he has her back and is standing proudly at her side, it probably helps her case immensely. (He believes her, he believes in her, this isn’t some kind of a sick joke.)

I want to remind everyone, too, that when the newspapers start telling “the truth” of humanity’s situation, it’s like a 50/50 split? Lots of people think it’s bullshit. That doesn’t help Hange. Like I said: she needs all the respect and the backup she can get. Literally every ounce.


IMO, Levi dropping the nickname “shitty-glasses” was the best thing that could have happened to the ship. I know people think it means they’re not “equals” anymore, but everyone’s focusing on the wrong thing, here.

Up to this point in the manga we’ve seen Levi treat Hange more or less equally, but even in his attempts to comfort her he’s rough. He calls her by a rude nickname that we’re never sure is supposed to be endearing or not. For all we know, he means it in the way a coworker might call the fat guy in the group “porkchop” or other kids might be mean to a classmate by calling them “four-eyes.” Speculation and headcanons aside, canon hasn’t ever really given us a clear idea of what that nickname meant to Levi, let alone to Hange. She lets him call her it, but that doesn’t tell us much. For all we ever knew, she was used to being treated poorly by her peers.

However, with this new information, it sounds much more like the nickname “shitty-glasses” was, coming from Levi, an awkwardly endearing nickname–one he meant no harm with.

And we see that because he drops it. He goes out of his way to consciously stop a habit of his that would seem disrespectful to other people regardless of what it originally meant between them. Levi respects Hange and this is how he shows it. That’s a big deal.

I’d also like to point out, again, that it’s very likely he does this out of more than just respect for his commanding officer. Levi is hardly one to follow conventions, after all.

Hange is his friend. He cares about her safety and we’ve seen this (beneath the chapel). We’ve also seen him clumsily care about the place she’s in mentally (post-Nick’s death). I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that he cares about her feelings, too. And if this nickname drudges up emotional backlash and trauma for her, then by dropping it he’s showing that he cares about her and respects her as his friend.