I can come here and feel the love and the happiness and joy and forget all about my problems

LEO: You really don’t want to admit it, because it’s a pretty ridiculous thought, but you’re scared of what being fully healed from the heartaches you’ve experienced entails. Because you aren’t sure of who you are when you aren’t hurting and you don’t know how to observe the world with unclouded eyes. It’s okay to be apprehensive of the sides of yourself that you haven’t had many opportunities to become acquainted with. While you may know yourself better than anybody else, that doesn’t mean that you need to be an expert on all things you. It’s okay to still be in the process of meeting yourself and figuring out who you are. You aren’t racing the clock.

VIRGO: You’re finally embracing the things you’ve been talking about doing for so long, but something feels off about it and you don’t know why. Because isn’t this the thing you’ve been working towards? Isn’t this the life you pictured yourself living after pulling yourself out of the gutter and onto the grass? I don’t think it’s right to assume that you’ve made the wrong decision here, but it’s important to remember that not everything you wrap your arms around is going to feel soft and easy to swallow. Sometimes the right decision has to hurt in order for it to be the right decision. Soon you’ll know if there’s anything that needs changing.

LIBRA: I know that trusting your instincts after being led astray so many times is a difficult thing for you to wrap your head around. You’re not the type to forget about the poor decisions you’ve made, or the mistakes you’ve given life to. However, road bumps and wrong turns aside, you are still a person worth listening to. It may seem as though everybody else has a map showing them the route to success and that yours was lost in the mail, but I’m going to let you in on a secret: nobody has a clue, a lot of us are just really good at acting as if we are. You haven’t fallen behind, you’re running with the wolves.

SCORPIO: Everyone assumes that you have a lot of love in your life but, while it’s easy to pinpoint a handful of people that have handled your heart with the utmost care, it’s easier to identify those that haven’t. At the end of the night the latter is what plagues your thoughts and wrings the tears out of your eyes, and admitting to that seems like a sign of weakness. But I want you to know that you aren’t obligated to live up to the expectations that the world holds for you. You’re allowed to make your own goals and visit your own places of interest. And the people that can’t love you for that aren’t people that you need surrounding you, anyways.

SAGITTARIUS: You have a tendency to look for yourself in everybody you meet, stacking your personality traits up like chips in a poker game that you’re destined to lose. The problem here is that in order to do this it involves reducing yourself to the most basic of traits and that isn’t what you are. Just because you can rattle off a list of acquaintances that use humor to detract from a situation in the same way that you do, doesn’t mean that you’re a carbon copy conglomerate of the souls you’ve met and interacted with. You’re unique, and you’re a lot more than simply a list of shared qualities. There are parts of you that cannot be put into words.

CAPRICORN: Has anybody told you lately that they’re proud of you? I know that things have been piling onto your windowsill and that you haven’t had the energy to clean it off yet but you’re still standing tall and you’re still here and that’s something to be happy about. Celebrating the small victories isn’t something that you’re used to doing, but it’s time that you start; it’s time that you open your eyes to all of the things that you do on a daily basis that warrant praise and positive attention. An action doesn’t have to be monumental in order to be important. You do wonderful things each and every day.

AQUARIUS: It’s been difficult to get back into the depths of your passion because there’s a really loud voice in your head saying that it isn’t worth it. A feeling of insecurity welling up in your throat and spilling out of your mouth whenever you open it to speak. Sure, your dream is big. Cynics may have told you that it isn’t worth pursuing. But there’s a reason that you’re chasing what you are, right? It’s because it makes you happy, and it makes you feel whole. And I know that it can be incredibly discouraging to stumble over things you care about, but you just have to keep walking despite all of that. Your goals are worth it.

PISCES: Lately you’ve been haunted by the memories of people that only came into your life to take. The nightmares have become an almost regular guest in your bed, taking the sheets and kicking your shins every night like clockwork. I want you to know that what you need to do in order to gain closure over the unkind past seems terrifying because it is. I also want you to know that you deserve to move on from those that have harmed your growth in the past. It may seem impossible to reach a place of contentment with the situation you’re picturing as you read this, but you’re more than capable of surviving what’s follow you. Allow yourself to thrive.

ARIES: Taking care of yourself still feels foreign, sometimes. Acting adult-like is an oversized jacket that you’re familiar with shrugging off and leaving at home despite the weather that requires its presence. There’s too much societal and social pressure to be fully grown all of the time, in my opinion. Not to say that you shouldn’t be responsible, or that you don’t already take care of the things that you need to, but you’re able to reevaluate what it means to be a successful human being. You aren’t chained to standards or rules or cookie-cutter definitions of “being a grown-up.” Don’t lose touch with the roots that mean so much to you.

TAURUS: Another ending, another heartbreak, another name written through the steam on your shower wall. It isn’t fair that you give so much and still only get apple cores and empty promises handed back to you. I know you’re starting to wonder if it really is a “you-thing,” if the absences you’ve needed to learn to exist around were created by your own hands in ignorance. While most failed connections falter on both sides of a line, that doesn’t mean you’re allowed to be mean to yourself for things that aren’t exclusively your fault. Being kind to yourself is a practice that will benefit you more than you know. It’s okay to give yourself a break.

GEMINI: Happiness is a lover that always sends you postcards but never tells you when they’re coming home. You’ve grown so accustomed to their quick scrawl reading “wish you were here” that you can almost predict each cards’ arrival after every new bout of sadness. It feels like your emotions enjoy mocking you a lot of the time, making you cry over your latest heartache while reminding you of the moments in which you felt nothing but pure and unfiltered joy. I can’t guarantee the continuous presence of bliss in your life, but I will say in confidence that it’ll always come back to you. Even when you think it won’t. Especially then.

CANCER: It’s a lot easier to let the dying embers of a fire fade into darkness than it is to stoke them back to life. I know that you’re tired of crouching next to weak flames, watching them flicker and refuse to glow despite your best efforts, and for good reason. Everybody knows that you deserve better from the world, that isn’t a question. How could you, the big-hearted lover of love, be destined for something as ugly as this? The answer is that you aren’t. Large, beautiful, fulfilling things are on their way, slowly but surely. Don’t forget that it won’t always feel like this. You won’t always view happy moments as a quick reprieve from the norm. Promise.

Mothers’ Weekend

Hello there! Long time, no see (my bad I know) but, here: an Alicia Zimmermann-centric piece as she goes to Parents’ Weekend during Jack’s freshmen year. [focus on Alicia, Jack, and Shitty] 6k


Somewhere, deep in her heart, Alicia Zimmermann knows she is a bad mother.

It started out as a worry, as maybe it does for all new mothers, that she will be a bad mother. That she won’t know what to do with a baby or a toddler that one day she will accidentally drop him or forget to feed him or feed him something he is actually allergic to or maybe she’ll scar him emotionally somehow and she worried but she survived his childhood okay. And then, after he was five or six, she stopped worrying about it. She thought she was doing pretty good. Jack had hockey and loved hockey and, sure, they didn’t have deep emotional talks but she didn’t exactly have any basis of comparison. Television families told her she was doing okay. No teenage boy wanted to have deep talks with his mother. And, look, if Jack didn’t talk to her all that much as he turned 12 and then 13, at least he was still talking to his father. Mostly still about hockey but she… she thought that had counted. Hockey was like French, to her. Another language she could understand but couldn’t quite speak. But Bob could. He was on top of it. Jack was taken care of.

She loved Jack. That was never the problem. The problem was that her love wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. It didn’t alert her to any of the facts and maybe it even blinded her– She loved her son and her son loved hockey and so she loved hockey too. She loved her son and then her son seemed to love a boy named Kent and they never talked about it but she let Kent come over all the time and she figured they would discuss it at some point. She just… assumed everything was okay. Even after he was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder and given pills. It was always… well, that was a little problem but it’s handled and under control and everything is okay now.

See. Bad mother.

A good mother would have known somehow.

A good mother would have pushed and prodded or sensed it without even having to be told.

A good mother would have paid attention to how hard Jack was on himself. A good mother would have made sure her son had interests outside of hockey. A good mother would have known that Jack’s long silences after losses weren’t normal. A good mother would have preached balance and fostered friendships with different types of people and stopped the fucking hockey.

She didn’t though. Stop the hockey. No, not Alicia Zimmermann. She encouraged it. She went to the games and cheered the loudest and she even loved it a little bit because she thought it brought him joy, like his father. She bought into the vision: Jack playing hockey like Bob, the Zimmermann legacy continued throughout the ages…

God, she even used to tease Jack about how it took his father three years to win a Cup and she was sure Jack could manage it faster than his old man.

A good mother wouldn’t have done that. So, see, she’s always been a bad mother. Even now, now that she’s almost lost him, now that she’s promised to do better, now that she’s finally read all the books and online articles about anxiety and pressure and the danger of sports and hockey culture… now she’s still just as bad. Just for different reasons.

Now she is a bad mother because it’s Saturday afternoon and he’s been at Samwell for almost three months and she does not feel like mothers are supposed to feel in this moment.

She glances around. At the sea of other mothers and fathers crammed onto Samwell’s campus for Parents’ Weekend. They are not nervous. They are excited. Happy. Enthusiastic. Overjoyed to see the teenager they had left just a couple months ago again. To her right is a father almost (but not quite) breaking into a run to give his son a hug. To her left, a mother has burst into tears. Happy tears.

And then there’s her. She’s not excited to see Jack. Well, no. No, it’s not that she’s not excited. She is. She is. (She is. She repeats it once more just to remind herself). She is just…

She is nervous too. More nervous than she is excited.

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Fairy Tail Chapter 528 Review

So if people have been keeping up I’ve been spoiling this chapter today and boy was I not happy because this chapter my god.

I really like this cover image. I love the new art style of Erza’s first ever armor and I like the touch that Gray and Erza are front and center because in volume 3 it’s the same thing with them on the cover.

So we open on Acnologia stepping on Irene’s corpse which is still kinda amusing because yeah that Irene stuff still is a pain in the ass.

I guess Wendy would know it’s Acnologia because smell more than power but hey this is leading to the where the shit hits the fan.

Yup Jellal is back. Look a lot of people were happy to see hi back but here’s the problem I have. How? No seriously this will be a running theme about bad moments in this chapter and it’s how? We don’t know how Jellal got here, now people will say that scene against august where he said he’d protect Erza but there’s not a scene of him getting up or anything like that it’s just lazy. He comes out of nowhere without any foreshadowing.

So that was my frustration, how are you here? August left you in a ditch. we never saw you get up or anything like that. You just thought of Erza and that was it. But here’s the thing I’ve always said is Jellal’s greatest problem, he is always forced into an arc haphazardly but this arc lacks that because it’s war, it affects everyone. Also, it’s war against Zeref the character you wanted to fight since the timeskip. Also here’s my biggest problem, where are the oracion Seis? Because it seems you left them behind, that is very wrong, you are basically the guild master crime sorciere but you abadoned your guild to save Erza, which I understand is the wwoman you love but shouldn’t your priorities be focused on your team. Or hell just bring them along, it actually would help make sense because Cobra could hear where erza is.

anyway back to the story…

So Jellal attacks for several pages and…

Acnologia shows why you don’t fuck with Acologia. But again just wait it gets better…

Oh no. Yup people Acnologia eats all magic.Which is kinda cool until we’ve seen this all ready. Irene with Deus Zero and August with his negation, all these final bosses have something to do with “your magic is ineffective against me” it just seems lazy.

And best scene of the chapter. No I’m serious. Wendy is deciding that she is the one who must fight Acnologia because it’s her job as a Dragon Slayer. This is amazing to see that little girl who hid from fighting is now facing the big bad herself. This is what a final arc is, the joy of watching that development come through.

Little problem I have is Erza is concerned but Jellal is and why does Jellal care about Wendy? That was Mystogan who cared. I know Wendy brought him back but they’ve barely established a connection and yet there are times he’s worried about her which makes no sense giving they haven’t made a reason for it other than “you revived me”. I guess he’s concerned in a base sense but still, it feel like it comes from nowhere.

Oh god. This was a moment where I was like “THAT SO COOL” but then I remember it was shot down by Wahl Icht, how it it back, how is Ichiya there? I guess universe one moved him but did he fix this ship? It just doesn’t make sense. Where did it come from.

Okay first off I wasn’t mad that Christina could hold off Acnologia, we saw Makarov in Titan form tank it but why Isn’t shooting it? Why? Even if it’s a fast ship, it’s big, Acnologia could shoot it down.

Second, we need to “lead it to a certain place” we can beat Acnologia. Well, now you are straight up ripping off Rave Master because to defeat Endless he had to be lured into star memory. Also this place where Acnologia may be defeated, never brought up before.

And finally this new character appears, Oh boy with the text putting emphesis on “KEY” you know it’s a celestial wizard and one that could know about Acnologia, it might be Anna Heartfilia. OH WHAT BULLSHIT IF THAT IS TRUE! We don’t know anything about Anna, who is she, no actual alluding to the possibility she came to the future. Did she cross the eclipse gate? That is again bullshit if true. This means nothing, you just pulled this out of your ass. Yes we’ve talked about Anna and what she did but again WHO IS SHE?

But some people have pointed out that because of the hairy and how Anna didn’t have bangs that framed her face it could be Layla… WHAT THE FUCK, THEN? If there one character who had been established to be dead this whole series just to come back as a deus ex machina, what a load of crap. Plus with the next chapter called teacher and we know Layla had students, it could be her. And like Anna, no build up prior.

But hey maybe it’s a brand new character. WOW MASHIMA DID YOU FORGET HOW MANY OTHER CHARACTER‘S WHO YOU’VE INTRODUCED ALREADY AND NOT WORK WITH THEM!? NO LETS ADD THIS NEVER BUILT UP CHARACTER! GOD DAMNIT

Post Chapter Follow up: Ugh this chapter was not good. I know a lot of people thought I’d hate this chapter because Jellal showed up but that wasn’t my problem. My problem with all of those scenes I bitched about had no foreshadowing, at all. Jellal maybe thinking about Erza but even then, not enough at all. The Christina is back, HOW? New character that may be Layla or Anna, HOW? There’s a place where Acnologia can be defeated, HOW? None was built up, scenes like these lose weight because they weren’t built uo, they rely on the amount of shock value and rise it gets out of you. For this chapter to be liked, you have to be sitting there and just keep saying “FINE” FINE” “FINE” to everything thrown at you and that’s not good story telling.

Okay so Acnologia is this all slayer which again builds up there’s no way to beat him other than dragon slayers. But, you add in this place we’ve never been introduced or alluded to. 5 dragon slayer that can beat Acnologia that was the plan you had to mess with it didn’t you hiro?

Also, I know a lot were happy to see Jellal but her’s my question, why is he fighting Acnologia? It’s been built sense the timeskip he’d fight Zeref but this wasn’t built up at all, other than Erza was there.

So any positives? Well… Yes. Wendy’s moment is amazing, she has come far. It’s always good to see development acknowledged. She’s probably the most developed character in this chapter.

Also Acnologia is still on point. He’s taking everything Jellal has and just laughing it off. It’s nice to see him not treated as less. Also I was Glad to see Erza not do something. She shouldn’t be able to given her condition fro just recovering.

Ugh this is the part where I pass final verdict but before I do, I want to say we don’t have much time left for FT. I think we may have only 15-20 chapters left maybe less. And I want all of them to be great but no more like these, Hiro, please this is what you leave people with, it’s time to buckle down and really try. Because this climax could be awful if you stay the course.

Final Verdict: 3/10

  • Foreshadowing “what’s that”
  • Below average pacing
  • Just all around not fulfilling
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Request : “Hi! Can you do 164 for Peter? thank you xx“ @chrislaufeyson

»  “I heard you singing Taylor Swift in the shower this morning, are you okay?”

Characters : Peter Parker x reader

Word count : ~1900

A/N : This isn’t that much long but it’s the longer imagine I’ve done yet lmao. I hope you like it, don’t hesitate to tell me what you thought of it under anon or even in private, I’d be happy to taaalk ! Don’t forget my requests are open, so… GO FOR IT BABES


Oh please, May ! It’d be the best present ever ! I’m a big guy now.”

Peter had been begging May for 2 weeks now, and the aunt was still reflecting either or not it was a good idea. For his 16th birthday, his nephew wanted his girlfriend to sleep with him, but May thought he was too young for that, she didn’t want to be a grand-mother right now, she was even quite young when she had to become Peter’s mother. All was going too fast, and she wished Ben was still there to say no. Ben would have said no. They both knew it, that’s why Pete would have asked May if his uncle was still alive. But she had to say no by herself now, take all the responsabilites.

Stop harrassing me, I can take you to some restaurants or cinema, but you’re too young to sleep with a girl.”

Peter crossed his arms on his chest and sighed. He hated when May treated him like a child, and she recurrently did. “C'mon, many boys sleep with their girlfriends at my age. I won’t do sh- stupid things. May, you know the feeling. You know what it’s like, wanting to wake up to the love of your life.”

It was May’s turn to sigh. Obviously, she knew, it was a feeling she was used to, a feeling she would never get rid of. Someone was missing in her bed just like someone was missing in Peter’s. If one human on Earth knew that you needed to enjoy someone’s presence before it was too late, it was her.

Door open, and if I hear something weird you a dead man, Peter Benjamin Parker.”

He instantly jumped, doing some dance of joy. His heart was beating faster as he ever did. This was it, it was happiness, true happiness. This news had him reaching the nirvana, this estate of maximal pleasure, the plenitude. He kissed his aunt’s cheek, thanking her a good million times. You soon was informed and you both fangirled. Your first night together. This was a brand new step, but everything with Peter seemed natural anyways. You could do everything.

I’m taking your present ! And a toothbrush of course, I can’t wait to sleep in your arms oh my god. I’m taking movies, can I borrow you a new shirt to sleep ? What should I take beside all of this.” Peter could tell over the phone how happy and stressed you were, you barely allowed yourself to breathe while talking. “Happy birthday, love.”

He smiled, the sound of your voice was a music to him, a melody he could never get bored of. “Come here quick to tell me in person.”

Peter !” May called him back to have a quick chat with him. There was no way he could sleep with you before she’d have gave him the talk. He soon hung up, excited as never.

Peter smiled as soon as he woke up, you were still in his arms, your head on his chest, sleeping like an angel. His heart started beating fast again. He had thought right, this was the best morning of his life, this was the way he wanted to wake up everyday, with his love right next to him, stuck to his body like the world out there was spinning and the only thing letting her be safe was his touch. He was his remedy to any problem. Both your bodies were hot, the night had been so soft.

Peter kissed your forehead, pulling you closer to him which woke you up. There was no way you’d feel happier any day, you put your head on his neck and kissed his perfect jawline. “Hello pretty boy.” You whispered in a rough matinal voice before kissing his jawline again. “I’ve never slept that good in my entire life before.”

“Me neither.” He whispered at his turn, and his rugged voice had you shook. You’ve never heard him talking with such a deep tone and it was exciting to discover new things about your dedicated one.

Minutes passed by without doing nothing, just hugging and kissing. You wanted to spend the entire day there, in this bed, wrapped around Peter’s warm arms. But May would have never let you, plus it seemed like the super-hero had a project for the day.

It was super late when you got up, 2pm actually. Peter tried to make you a breakfast as a lunch, but his pancakes were terrible and he had burnt the bacon. His secret talent was surely not cooking. You ended eating ice cream before he went take a shower. You came back in his room, watching the wall where he put some pictures. One particularly kept your attention. This picture was one Peter had taken of you two during your first date. It was all awkward and sweet, and you were glad he had taken pictures of it.

Is it weird if I take photos ? I know it’s the first time we… we… This is a date, right ?” Peter had is cheeks all red from asking this, and you found it super cute. You liked him since you started talking, he was the kindest boy you’ve ever met, way different than all of the others. The day you met was the day your ex dumped you because you didn’t want to have sex with him, but what the fuck you was having sex at 15 anyways ? So not you. Peter found you crying in the school’s hallways and tried to cheer you up, then he asked you everyday how you were feeling, and soon you became friends. But there always were that extra something, this little sprinkle in your eyes telling you he was a man who would change your life. And he really did change you, he made you a better person, he built you.

This first date had been really different than what you already had experienced with other boys. You knew you loved him, you knew he wasn’t some jerk trying to use you. “Of course this is a date.” You held his hand with a big smile on your face. “And take photos, I want to have souvenirs of this evening !”

It wasn’t some fancy going out in a restaurant or cinema, it was just a chill walk, all was about talking and being happy to be together, it was all fluff and natural, it was just all love. Peter took as many photos of you as he could, not afraid anymore to look like some kind of a creep. “I love taking photos, and you’re so beautiful, you… The camera loves you.”

A little smirk took place on your face as you turned to him. “Only the camera, not you ?” He instantly blushed, panicking. Was it a bad thing, were you making fun of him ? His hands started shaking and he shook his head, his mouth wide open just as his eyes. “You don’t need to respond.” You laughed. “I was kidding, this is too soon for all of this.” But deep inside, Peter knew he loved you.

“I shake it oooooff, I shake it oooooff !” Peter’s singing got you out of your memories and you gigled listening to this song. He might be… Really excited for today. “Haters gonna haaate, haaate, haaate !” Well, this was for sure the best shower he had taken in while.

He came back right after his song, his hair damp and curlier than you’d ever seen before. He was so handsome, you were so screwed.


“Look, this is the camera I told you about ! The one May offered me yesterday ! She did such a great job, I missed photography.” He said as he was taking his new camera out of his backpack. You soon took his treasure in your hands with a look of admiration. It was a vintage Leica, and you wished you knew more about photography to understand how awesome it was for Peter to have it. “It has a lil defect on its lens but you know how I love things when they have something unique.” You nodded, and gave the camera back to him. “Okay, now that I can take pictures again, go against this tree and be my model.”

Your nose creased. Be his model ? What ? “No, no Pete there’s nooooo way. I’m not.. I’m so ugly today, I hadn’t brought my makeup to your place, my skin is awfully oily.” You soon pouted, Peter’s eyes wide open.

“You kidding, right ?!” He literally seemed attacked. “You the most beautiful girl I’ll ever get to see, Y/N ! I just want memories, you’re a real muse for me. Please, as a birthday gift, love !”

“I love you, thank you, but it’s still a no.”

Peter rolled his eyes, he for sure needed you to be okay with his idea of taking pictures of you, because it made a long time since the last time he did. “I’ll buy you japanese food.”

And suddenly you chaned your mind, you looked excited and even jumped a little when you heard ‘japanese food’. “Ok, well, Why are we still here ?! C'mon Parker, let’s take photos !” He laughed, fuck he knew you so well, he was sure japanese food was a good compromise. It always had been. Photoshoot session started right away. “You know, I heard you singing Taylor Swift in the shower this morning, are you okay?

Peter rolled his eyes, happy Taylor Swift’s songs was his guilty pleasure and no one was supposed to know. He blushed a little. “Don’t be a jerk honey, be beautiful and pose for me, that’s all I’m asking !”

“This is some kind of song you should be singing to Flash.” You giggled. And Peter blushed even more. He always had that thought that Flash was better than him, he was popular even if he was an asshole. You saw Peter getting lost in his thoughts and grimaced. “Babe, focuse on me !” His eyes immediately met yours and he couldn’t help but laugh. You were ugly, but in a beautiful way, weird. I guess it was just love. He took a picture, and you frowned. “I don’t want this on facebook or I’ll kill you !”

“Love, you know I don’t have a facebook.” He creased his eyes. You harrassed him to do one, but he never understood the utility. He had no friends. “I’ll download them in my phone, so I can show people how pretty my girlfriend is !”

“I’m not, Peter !” You shouted, leaving the tree to get back to him.

“You’re not my girlfriend ?!”

“I’m not pretty you idiot !” You hit his shoulder.

“People don’t believe me when I say I have a girlfriend.” He shrugged while a sad smile took place on his face.

You pouted, a little embarrassed. Yeah, Peter wasn’t popular and all, people thought he was a fucking loser, but they were missing it. “We don’t need people, Peter Parker.”

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Good Girl Ch 34: Under The Table

“Are you being serious?” I beam up at the handsome man in front of me.

“Yes, but don’t forget, there will be a list of rules,” He tries to sound stern but I know he is happy to see me so excited.

“Thank you!” I scream as I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He laughs and swings me around a couple times before setting me down on the marble. “When will she be here?”

“Youngbae will be here with her around ten after a meeting,” He glances at the clock on the wall. “We still have a few hours so do you mind tagging along with me to my work to grab a few things?”

I nod eagerly, “Of course!”

“Okay, let me change quick,” He turns toward the hall.

“Should I change?”

“If you want, you look beautiful like that,” He winks at me before continuing on his way. I look down at my ripped black jeans and t-shirt and decide I should change. After finding my way to the fully stock closet Jiyong so sweetly provided, I glance threw all of it until I find a basic black dress. I pull it on, loving the way it hugs me small figure. Jiyong doesn’t even bother knocking when he comes into my room dressed in a completely black suit. “Wow,” He whistles.

“Who picked all these clothes out?”

“Me.”

I cock a brow at him, “You picked out all of these?”

He nods, “I was very excited to have you all to myself in my home.” I say nothing as he walks over to the dresser built into the wall of the walk in closet and digs threw the first drawer. He returns to me with a golden necklace that he basically demands to put on me. I don’t put up a fight and turn around so he can put it on easier. “Perfect.”

“Thank you,” I hum.

“Grab a jacket, it’s still pretty chilly,” He tells me. I nod and pull on one of the many jackets in the closet. The ride in the elevator in quiet, as well it the walk out of the building. He had told me earlier that his work was only a few blocks down so he usually walks. Like last time he places an arm around my shoulders and pulls me close. My eyes mindlessly wander over the lit up buildings taking in the city life that has become foreign to me since my, um, situation began. We reached his office in no time; passing security and ridding up the elevator was an interesting experience with all the guards staring at me completely dumbstruck. Guess him bringing girls around is rare.

His office is covered in black marble with gold accents. I can’t help but stare out the floor to ceiling windows that stare over the city. In the distance I see a familiar looking building that makes me run up to the window like a child. My hands press up against the clean glass, my nose even gets smashed a bit in my eagerness.

He clicks his tongue at me, “Of course you saw it.”

“So that is their building?”

“Yep,” He hums.

“I had no idea your building was so close.”

“Yea, now when you get bored this summer you can just walk over here.”

I scoff, “You want to start a war don’t you?”

“Of course,” He smirks.

I’m about to scold him when movement on the couch catches my attention. A fat fur ball is sitting up, it’s slanted green eyes mirror my own. In childish excitement I rush over to the cat with a little squeal.

“Kitty!” I grin as I crouch down in front of the fur ball.

“Mojo,” Jiyong tells me.

“Mojo,” I coo at the cute kitty.

“I need to look through some files quick.”

I nod but keep all of my attention on the kitty that looks completely done with me already. It stands up and jumps down, it’s nails click quietly on the marble as it exits the room. I eagerly follow behind.

“Stay on this floor!” Jiyong yells at me as I go.

Like my daddies building, Jiyong is the only person on the whole floor. The massive golden doors that lead into Jiyong’s office are cracked open allowing both Mojo and I to slip threw into the massive lobby. Mojo scurries to the left down a hall. All the way down the hall he turns into a dark room that I blindly follow him into. Flipping on the light I see a long table with chairs lining the sides, it’s a conference room. Glancing around I see Mojo sneaking under the table.

“Come here kitty,” I call quietly as I follow it under the table.

It finally stops and sits, its eyes are fixated on me. He meows loudly, once, then twice. Scooting closer I’m finally allowed to run my fingers threw his amazingly soft black fur. The soft hum of its purr begins to fill my ears making me smile.

“Why is the light on?” A familiar voice asks with a bit of hostility in his voice.

“We were here earlier so we must have left the light on,” Daesung’s calming voice reasons.

“It looked like someone was in the office too,” Another bitter voice snaps.

What are they doing here?

“You guys,” Suho snaps back sternly, “I know we are all irritated about Jooyoung but we need to talk business right now.”

Kai scoffs, “Easier said than done.”

“I was undeniably annoyed when that little girl first started popping up in conversations but now I understand all the fuss,” Seungri teases them. Though what he saying may sound a little dickish, he had said it to my face yesterday so I mind it less.

“Watch your mouth,” Xiumin growls.

Seungri chuckles, “It’s a compliment, I swear. She is a very nice girl.”

“I still couldn’t care less about her,” Seunghyun interjects. I roll my eyes at him, what a cranky man.

“No one cares Hyung,” Daesung chuckles. “Now gentlemen, as much as we would all enjoy continuing this conversation we have things to discuss. Please take a seat.”

Shit, shit, shit! I pull the cat into my lap and curl into a ball, praying that they wouldn’t see me. As much as I am over joyed to be seeing them, well their legs as they sit on one side of the table, I have a very strong feeling they would not be happy to know that Jiyong just let me wander around his building unsupervised. I notice a familiar pair of long legs take the seat next to where I’m curled up. Daddy Yeolie. It takes all of myself control to not reach out and touch him, to not crawl up into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck. I missed them. I still miss them. I never realized how irritating it is to have them so close but not be able to touch them or talk to them. At least I can hear their voices, though they aren’t filled with their normal warmth, or any to be completely honest. The iciness in their voices makes me shiver.

On my other side are the four men I’ve come to know in the last two days. Closest to me is Daesung, then Youngbae, Seungri, and finally Seunghyun. They take up a small portion of their side of the table compared to the twelve men sitting across from them. The more I notice about the whole situation I realize there is no way I can get out of this without someone noticing. Then I remember Jiyong will be looking for me soon. I silently curse the cat in my lap for bring me here and curse myself for being stupid and following it.

“You told us that you found the man who sent the email,” Daesung finally starts their serious conversation. I nibble on my lip as I consider covering my ears but curiosity is tempting me to listen in until Jiyong comes for me.

“We did, it was a bit difficult but after an hour with us in the dungeon we were able to figure out who asked him to research her.”

“I heard about your extraction on the news,” Seungri chimes in. “Another club that will be closed down I guess.”

Another club? Did they shot up another club? I clench my fist as I resist the urge to come forward with my presence but I’ve already kept quiet this long.

“I don’t see how that is any of your business,” Kris doesn’t even try to hide the distaste for the younger man. “We got him and the information, beyond that, what we had to do is none of your business.”

The room is silent for a minute. My mind is racing with thought of what could have happened in the short amount of time I was gone. Luhan had told me about a small problem that they were going to take care of but I was hoping that it wouldn’t be dangerous. I know I’m stupid and childish for thinking that violence was just a rare thing for them. They’re gangsters. They are one of the biggest mafia groups in Asia, I just keep forgetting that or ignoring it.

“I don’t even know why I’m here,” Seunghyun grumbles as he stands up. “I couldn’t care less about that little girl so I’m leaving.”

“Have a good night Hyung!” Seungri yells happily.

“I see Jooyoung’s magic didn’t work on everyone,” Chen says once the older man leaves the room.

Dae chuckles, “He’s the only one. She even has Youngbae hyung wrapped around her pretty little finger.”

“As much as I love talking about how she has us all whipped I would like to know why some bastard was looking into her,” Youngbae finally speaks with a voice a cold as ice. I tense, someone is looking for me?

Suho clears his throat, “We found out he’s actually a member of Block B sent to not only find information about all of our relationships with her but he said he’s supposed to find an opening to have someone take her.”

“Don’t tell me that Zico bastard is seriously trying to fuck with both of us,” Seungri scoffs.

“We are going to be doing some more checking the next couple of days before we have our foot men step in. Are yours’ available to tag along with them as well?” Kris wonders.

Youngbae hums a yes, “That should be fine. Were you able to figure out if he knew anything more about her?”

“He knew a little more about her relationship with us. He wasn’t very good at his job, finding secrets or keeping them. The little that he did have was stuff that he could have gathered just from watching her or asking anyone at her school a few simple questions about her.”

Lay help him answer, “Other than for her birthday, close friends, and school they don’t know much else. I’m not sure how they were expecting this kid to spy on someone protected by both our groups.”

“He could be a newer member they thought was expendable,” Dae suggests.

“We are going to check into him more, he was too easy to catch and too break.”

Dae clicks his tongue, “By the way you’re talking I’m guessing he’s no longer with us.” I guess I’m not the only one who caught on to that.

“You would be correct,” Soo answers.

“A question for you,” Seungri’s voice is laced with mischief and from what I’ve learned from the others is that it means he’s up to something bad. “I haven’t been able to get in on any action lately, mind giving me some gruesome details?”

In a panic of not wanting to hear whatever they had done to this boy, I grab on to Daesung’s leg, finally telling someone I’m here. Where is Jiyong when I need him? Dae tenses under my touch before he slides a hand under the table. I offer up my hand with Jiyong’s ring on it so he can figure out it’s me. As his hand finds mine he freezes, his fingers feel the warm metal before holding my hand. His thumb makes small circles across the back of my hand.

“Seungri,” he says in the warm voice that I know. “We don’t need to hear about that right now. You should get your kicks elsewhere today.”

“Why are you being such a buzz kill today? I’m quiet sure you love to listen to the gore as much as me. Better yet, I have wanted to ask what the Choi’s son did to get such a shitty end. His mother was so heart broken I almost cried,” Seungri chuckles.

Next to me Chanyeol growls, “There was an incident but we handled it.”

“You call sending your friend’s head to his family’s door step handling it? I heard his teeth were ripped out, along with his eyes. Let me guess, you did the teeth. That’s your usual thing and the eyes must have been Xiumin hyung. Sick bastard, I heard he was still alive when you did it.” The amusement in his voice should disgust me but Jiyong warned me earlier about the younger man’s crude mouth.

“It got the message across to anyone.”

“What message is that?”

“Don’t touch our baby,” It’s Xiumin who snarls this time.

Once again the room is silent, Daesung’s hand holds mine tighter.

“Why so quiet now?” Kai sneers. “We’re sick bastards for tearing that boy apart limb by limb until you know that the same kid tried to fuck our baby.”

“He tried to what?” Youngbae mumbles so softly I barely hear him.

Daesung’s words surprise me, “And you only kept him alive for an hour?”

What the hell? Don’t encourage this stuff! I scream in my head at the sweet man I thought was the light in the darkness.

“It was an hour of hell,” Kris barks. “We made sure of that.”

“If it was us it wouldn’t have ended that quickly,” Seungri scoffs.

Kai is on his feet and slams his hands down on the table, “We were much more concerned about our baby being horrified of us and having a full on mental break down. So sorry if we didn’t torture that bastard enough for you but you know damn sure we made that short amount of time was the longest moment of that bastard’s life.”

“Kai,” Soo tries to calm the younger.

Kris makes Kai sit back down with a forceful tug before turning to my new oppas, “You have no right to call us into question about anything we do outside of our business. Even though we are working together to get rid of the mole in our midst, what we do with our baby is none of your concern.”

“You honestly can’t expect us to not worry over her,” Youngbae scoffs.

“You have no right to worry about her after only knowing her for a fucking day,” Tao sneers.

I can imagine the glare Youngbae is giving them, “We don’t need your god damn permission to worry about her.”

“She is safe with us. You have nothing to worry about.”

Daesung holds my hand tighter as if he can sense the panic growing in my chest. I know he wants to help get me out but we both know he can’t without causing some kind of scene. To be honest though, at this point I might not mind a scene as long as it gets me out of this room and away from this horrible conversation. I know my life of rainbows in sunshine won’t last forever but I don’t want it to end right now, not yet. I want so much more time with them. I know I’m not always the little girl they want but I try, I really do try to make them happy and feel needed. But maybe they will get tired of my stubborn big side and get rid of her, get rid of me.

Youngbae’s angry voice takes me out of the thoughts that are beginning to make me shake. “How can we not when her care takers are known for their violent and short records with women. You’ve already kept her for three months, how much longer do you think she’ll keep your attention? Are you going to get rid of her like you did with the other?”

“She is different, we aren’t going to-“ Suho tries to defend them but Youngbae doesn’t even give him the chance.

“You are going to throw her away? Then what are you going to do when you get bored. You guys always get bored. But you’re right, you can’t just throw her aside like the others, she knows way too much. So what are you going to do, kill her, torture her for information about us?”

By now tears are streaming down my cheeks. I try my best not to sniffle but Youngbae’s too truthful words are too much for me. I know the dungeon is the only place I could end up at this point, I’d be an idiot to think this would last forever but a girl can dream. But now this dream is turning into a nightmare as the idea of them not wanting me anymore fully sinks in. I want to reach for them right now. To beg for them not to hate me, to not throw me away. Even though they love me today, what about tomorrow, or next month. Is them planning things for me this summer planning too far ahead?

“Stop!”

“Stop!”

The room is silent.

“What are you doing here?” One of the men on my left yell. I curl tighter into myself, thanking Jiyong for everything. Glancing over my shoulder I see him standing in the doorway, his face is out of view but I can see his hands clenched at his sides.

“Where is Jooyoung?” Baekhyun is up on his feet as I imagine him staring at the doorway expectantly whether he’s happy or worried that I might have over heard, I’m not sure.

“She is safe.”

“Is she with you? Can we see her?” Soo’s sweet voice only makes me cry harder. I’m down here daddy, but I don’t know if I want you know that. I don’t know if I want you to know that I heard what you did. Will you be mad that I was here? Will you be mad that I already know how this will end for me? That I know what’s beyond the world of rainbows and sunshine that you made for me?

“I left her at my apartment,” Jiyong lies. “She’s napping.”

“You just left her? What if she wanders off?” Xiumin is on his feet now too.

Youngbae scoffs, “Afraid she’s going to take the first chance she’s got to run away from you?”

“I’m getting tired of your shit!” Kris roars.

“And I’m fucking tired of Jooyoung being afraid that you could kill her or throw her away because she’s not how you want her!” Jiyong snaps back.

“She told she’s afraid?” My dear Lulu asks.

“We’re leaving,” Suho deadpans. The whole line of men are on their feet now and begin to make their way out. Suho is the last out, he stops in the doorway and turns back to face the room. “Thank you for meeting with us, if you have any information please call us and let us know. Until then we will see you on Tuesday. And one more thing,” The politeness in his voice quickly slips away. “What we do or do not do with our Jooyoung is none of your fucking business. Whether we keep her as our baby for the rest of our lives or throw her away or sell her off or chop her little body into pieces is none of your fucking business. We both know that she is going to be the one to call it off with all of us. She’ll get tired of acting for us, I can already tell she’s not enjoying it as much.

“When that happens, our world will fall apart. We will have to do things we don’t want to think about now but it’s the only option we will have. She’s too well known in our world already, she’ll be come a target. We’ll end it when we have to, not a moment sooner. If she wants to go to you, we will give her the option but if not…” He pauses to calm himself. “Until that moment comes, she is ours. Got it?”

“Got it,” Jiyong echoes.

“Go back to her, to make sure she’s safe, okay? Your time with her is running out so enjoy it while you can because this will never happen again.” Suho’s voice cracks at the last word. I see him turn on his heel and quickly walk away. I don’t know how I feel right now. Tears are still running down my face but I don’t know whether it’s because I want to run to them or because one of them finally admitted it. They are going to kill me. Not now but after this is over, whenever that is, they are going to kill me.

“My love.”

Jiyong’s voice is the new light in my darkness. He must have seen me under the table and figured him kicking everyone out is my only way of escape without my daddies freaking out about me hearing this whole conversation. But now I can’t get myself to climb out from under the table. My mind is swirling its self into a dangerous web of fears and regret and worry. The four men are sitting in the chair in silence, having a mental debate on just dragging me out or letting me get out myself.

After what feels like forever I let out a sigh, wipe away my tears and finally let go of the whining cat that I’ve been holding in a death grip. All the men watch me with soft eyes as I scoot out and look up at them with probably red eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Seungri mumbles softly.

Youngbae hums an apology, “We wouldn’t have said that stuff if we knew you were here.”

“I know most of it anyway,” My voice is barely above a whisper. “I know that they will throw me away. I know that they will get tired of my attitude and that me not being afraid of them will get old. It’s just different hearing it out loud.”

Jiyong helps me up and gives me a tight hug, “Do you still wanna go out tonight?”

I forgot about that. I want nothing more than to go home to my daddies and curl into a ball for the rest of the week. But instead of saying that I nod. I want to go home but at the same time I don’t want to face them. To go home and deal with all the problems I’m constantly trying to ignore. Going out and getting completely shit faced with Jihyo seems like a horribly great idea!

With a deep breath I smile, “Lets do this!” I take Jiyong’s hand and lead him to the elevator with the others on our tail.

“Are you sure?” Dae worries cutely.

“You heard some pretty scary stuff about the people closest to you, it can shake a person up.”

I shake my head, “I knew scary stuff to begin with, I’m just stupid and pretend it doesn’t exist most of the time.”

“You are not stupid for doing that,” Jiyong tries to comfort me in the elevator.

Daesung nods, “You are just doing what it takes to survive.”

“I’m not doing it to survive I’m doing it because I’m fucked up in the head and don’t seem to mind that the only people who care about me are gangsters who kill for a living.” That I have to basically act like a child to get them to love me and to be honest, I don’t mind it that much. I love when they dote on me but at the same time I wish they would love the real me completely. That I will become whatever they want me to be as long as they promise to keep loving me. God what the hell is wrong with me? “I just need a couple shots of tequila and my best friend to be happy right now.”

They just nod. The walk home is quiet until Jiyong’s arm around me tightens, “If you want, you don’t have to go back.”

I’m surprised by his words, “What?”

“You heard me. You don’t have to go back to that house or that school. You can just stay with me forever.”

I don’t respond right away, I seriously consider his offer. Could I stay with him forever? He doesn’t expect anything from me, no baby talk or stupid rules. We could talk for hours about nothing, he would probably let me hang out with Jihyo more and he is always honest with me. But even with those things, I want to go home. I want my daddies, their warmth and comfort. Tonight will be my last hoar before I go back to rules and school and home.

“Maybe not now, but later,” He adds on when I don’t respond. “When you are done playing house with them, when you realize that they only love your little side, when you are ready to have someone love all you, my door is always open to you.” He kisses the top of my head softly.

I say nothing. Not even when we reach his penthouse, I go straight to my room to change into something more risqué than I would normally wear. After pulling on some high waisted black shorts and a crop top. Leaving my air a bit crazy is a lot easier than trying to style it again only to have it be messed up in the club. My make up is pretty basic, gold eye shadow and lots of eyeliner to compliment my cat like eyes. A knock at my door brings me out of thoughts, it swings open to reveal Jihyo in a similar outfit.

“Hello Sexy!” She squeals as she basically tackles me to the floor.

“You don’t look to bad yourself,” I tease as I sit us up.

“I’m beyond jealous right now!” She swats at me, “Where the hell did you get more hotties?” Seungri and Daesung are standing in the door with smiles on their faces.

“Don’t be fooled by their looks, they are wolves in sheep’s clothing,” I warn her.

She grins mischievously and suddenly I’m more worried about what she could do to them, “That’s what I was hoping.”

“You have an interesting friend,” Daesung pipes.

“I get that a lot.”

Ji glares at him over her shoulder, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, just that you weren’t what I was expecting.”

“Are you ladies ready to go?” Seungri beams at us.

“After the rules of course,” Youngbae adds as he joins them in the doorway.

Ji groans, “More rules!”

“Trust me,” I pat her back, “they will be a lot less strict than my other oppas.”

“I wouldn’t guarantee that,” Dae chuckles before leading us to the living room where Jiyong is waiting. They sit us down on one of the couches before taking their own seats either across from us or on the other couch like a bunch of dads.

“So rules?” Jihyo hums.

“I’ve heard you are quiet the trouble maker,” Jiyong eyes her up and down.

Jihyo feigns hurt, “Me? A troublemaker?”

Jiyong ignores her attitude, “No leaving the club without us.”

“Understandable,” Jihyo muses.

“Drink as much as you want, it’s on the house. Do not accept drinks from strangers. If a guy makes you uncomfortable please let me know and it will be handled.” I raise a brow at his words, something he automatically notices, “Depending on the severity of his actions will decide how it’s handled.”

“Sounds good to me!” Jihyo is on her feet.

………………………………………..

Jihyo whistles, “Wow.” We both stand in the middle of the moving club in complete aw. The club is absolutely amazing and beautiful with just as beautiful people crawling all over the place. The dance floor is packed along with the many booths and the bar stools. Of course we have nothing to worry about with the owner holding on to my other hand leading us to the private balcony for VIPs only. With our own private bar and booth we are able to sit back and relax for a little while before Jihyo gets the itch to shake what she’s got.

I’m dragged along without much of a fight, the large amount of alcohol that we just drank seems to encourage it. We are both a giggling mess on the dance floor, spinning and screaming along to the music like the drunks we are. I barely notice the creepy looking guy sneaking up behind me and snaking his arms around my waist. His chest is pressed against my back as he begins grinding with me. Even in my drunken state I know I want nothing to do with this guy, I try my best to push him away but he’s a lot stronger than me. Thankfully that issue doesn’t last long before Jihyo is there trying to pry this bastard off me.

“Hands off,” She growls at him.

“Back off bitch,” The drunk man slurs.

“The lady said hands off,” Youngbae appears next to us and I breath a sigh of relief.

“Try finding your own piece of ass shorty,” The man laughs.

Suddenly the man is ripped off me and is on his knees with his arm twisted behind his back and Youngbae standing over him. “What was that?”

“Nothing man, I’m sorry.”

“Are you alright?” Youngbae pushes the man on the ground and steps over him to get to me.

“I’m fine Oppa, just a little dizzy.”

“How about you sit down for a little while?”

I shake my head, “I want to dance a little more first.”

He seems hesitant to leave, “Are you sure?”

“How about you dance with me to make sure no one else tries to bug us? Get one of your sex friends down here for her!” Jihyo suggests with a hungry look in her eyes.

“I don’t know,” Youngbae is hesitant to place his hands anywhere on Jihyo when she gets close to him.

Glancing around I see Jiyong at the main bar nursing a half empty drink, his eyes are locked on me. I wave him over, he of course rushes over to see what is wrong. The man who had been all over me is now crawling away at the sight of Jiyong, who does not look one bit happy to see any guy near me but what does he expect in a club full of drunks.

“Dance with me,” I demand the moment he’s close enough to hear me over the music. His eyebrows go up as he looks from me to Youngbae and Jihyo, who has somehow convinced the short man to grind with her. “Not like that, just dance.”

“Are you sure?”

“I prefer you to some stranger.”

“That means a lot,” He chuckles.

“You know what I mean,” I roll my eyes at him, “Don’t want me getting another admirer do you?”

He smirks, “Someone’s cocky.”

“Are you doubting me? I might as well look around for some other options for when my daddies get tired of me.” Though my tone is playful Jiyong can hear the pain behind it. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close so we are doing a basic slow dance in a crowd of thrashing bodies.

“You have me, you always have me,” He mumbles in my ear. “Not to mention that you won’t find anyone better then me in here.”

“Now who’s being cocky?”

“I’m not being cocky, it’s the truth. I’m the most dangerous monster in the whole country my Love.”

“I think your wrong,” I counter.

“Oh really? Who do you think could beat me?”

“Me.”

A soft chuckle leaves his lips. “What a smart little girl,” He muses as he leans in close again and rests his chin on top of my head.

We don’t believe what’s on TV - Chapter 19

<<…Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 /  Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 20…>>

Resume: I had an ordinary life, or that’s what I wanted to believe. I lost myself in the TV series that I listened to forget the normal boring life. What I didn’t know, however, was that my life would change completely overnight.

Finding myself in 2013 at Beacon Hills County.

This will be a Stiles x Reader but only further in the story

In this chapter: Talking, finding excuses, hiding the truth. But the truth can’t remain hidden, so are my feelings for someone.

Word count: 2308

A/N: Ugh again a day late I was sure yesterday was Sunday because I watched the new episode yesterday! Again I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think of it! Thanks to @maddie110201​ who proofread it for me (None of the gifs are mine!)


Originally posted by trappixi

It was still raining when Scott and I went home. In the time that it took to walk from Stiles’ car who had kindly driven us home, to the door, we were soaked. All I wanted was to go to my room, go to bed and try to forget what had happened. Forget all the problems I had, the alpha pack, the darach, the classes I didn’t even pay attention to and especially the growing feelings I had for Stiles. Basically, I wanted to forget them. But I knew I couldn’t, I couldn’t let myself love him, I didn’t belong here.

So many questions remained unresolved. Why was I here, what about my world and my family? Did they miss me? Did I only disappear or was my body inanimate in the real world? And why the voice that was taunting me and forbidding me to speak was in my head? I couldn’t afford to love Stiles. It was dangerous, impossible.

Yet I knew it was too late for that.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I need so much angst tbh so RFA gang + V finding out that MC cheated on them (doubts that would happen tho)

*:・゚✧ a|n: so it was my one month anniv yesterday!! even though i thought it was before but lets not get into thisyou wanted angst so here u go ✧゚・: * ++ thank u ssssm for 5k!! we hit it on my 1 month anniv woooo!!

why would you cheat on them? (ps it was hard to add comments to such a sad hc) ++ a read more cos it’s kinda long but prepare to be sad (= ╯︵╰,)ノ

° Yoosung

  • classes were dismissed early and he reALLY wanted to show you his grade on the paper you helped him on
  • practically runs home excited to see you and he rushes into your room
  • “MC LOOK WE DID THIS TOGET-”
  • he quickly quietens down when he sees you playing tonsil tennis making out… with another boy - unaware of the fact  he was standing there
  • he just freezes at the doorway watching you two for a while
  • he even rubs his eyes, pinches his arm, blinks a few times to establish if.. this.. is real?
  • has to bite down on his bottom lip to stop himself from letting the pools of tears spill over his eyes
  • when you hear his sniffles you walk over to him to try explain [bs] but he gives you a forceful push away and looks at you both with his lip quivering 
  • “I-I hope y-you’re both ha-happy, I didn’t k-know I made you so unhappy MC.. I’I’m so so so-sorry”  
  • why are you apologising omg nO STOP
  • picks apart on everything he did wrong and says that’s why you left him.. he was never good enough for you..
  • that one time that he didn’t let you on the computer, when you told him to do the dishes and he didn’t that’s why you left
  • incredibly hurt and confused, the rest of the world is going on it’s business abut he’s in his own bubble of silence picking himself apart
  • he runs into his room before sinking onto his bed and the tears glide over making him a blubbering mess letting them take over
  • the pain seems to swallow him into a deep abyss … why did he have to be so stupid? he wouldn’t be in this stupid position where his heart is heavy and his eyes sting 
  • god damn it get out of my head please please I’ll do anything 
  • plays LOLOL like his life depends on it to drown out the thoughts of you so Saeyoung as to drag him to classes
  • always cooped up in his room: red eyes a l l the time and he’s completely lifeless - his insecurities have rocketed sky high
  • his heart feels hollow - like he’s missing something? it was as if you’d slapped him across the face and said “I need someone better
  • people try get him to dislike you in order to move on
  • but whenever your name leaves his lips his eyes tear up but you can see him visibly fume up .. he can’t hate you..
  • he can’t throw away your photos together, or that silly handmade gift you gave to him - it’s like binning a part of him
  • whenever he sees you at a party - he just gives you a lopsided small smile before walking off again fighting his tears because he’s reminded of how he ‘fucked up’ with you
  • He’s a complete mess but tries to play it off trying to keep his cool but he’d be very formal when you approached him - looking down at his feet apologetically while you talk to him
  • there is no joy, no happiness, no brightness and he is in the center of this deep, choking misery that doesn’t seem to have any end

° Zen

  • wow so you’d both go to an after party to enjoy yourself after his new film premiere and god he’d be so excited eeeeeeek
  • he’d be taking 1000 selfies at the premiere jesus he’s just SO happy
  • he’s going to find you and offer you a drink but he can’t find you??
  • asking everyone where you are he’s extremely panicked 
  • so when he sees you and other guy in the corner of the room the worst comes to mind he’s fuRIOUS AT THE GUY
  • “DON’T TOUCH HER YOU FUCKING DOUCHE”
  • he’s pushed the guy to the wall and is grabbing him by the collar - he’s out for b l o o d.. how dare you touch MC I will ki-
  • “HE DIDN’T COME ON TO ME ZEN, I - I DID”
  • he instantly freezes up and loosens his grasp on the man letting him go and turns to you - ..what did you just say?
  • in those few seconds the world stops and he feels dizzy.. you wanted this?
  • backs away slowly looking from you to the other guy you were making out with - who has a small grin on his face [fuck off]
  • he’s pushing everyone away with angry tears pouring out from his eyes, his his head hurts, his breaths are shorter he can’t believe it
  • he wants to cuss you out, scream at you - but the only thing he is capable of doing is squeaking out
  • “why.. would you..? how? I can’t”
  • runs out of the party pushing everyone away and gets on his motorbike speeding away to just anywhere away from you
  • he’s driving subconsciously to the place where you first kissed - damn it 
  • barely focusing on the road gets beeped at several times but he doesn’t fucking care, he just wipes the tears from his eyes before speeding on
  • nothing matters anymore
  • scrambling off his bike - he runs to the top of the bar rooftop like you both used before falling to his knees and sobbing at the edge
  • he wanted to do so much more than just pathetically sob but that was the only thing he could do
  • taking an old selfie of you both from his wallet he stares at it before furiously ripping up the photo into a million pieces while taking swigs of a drink he found on the way up there [that’s a health haza-]
  • but his hands are shaking and he  can’t help but smash the bottle furiously and screaming before lying down on his back and covering his face with his hands
  • everyone betrays me… I can’t trust anybody.. they’re all the same
  • you were the only person he could confide in & trust but now his heart reflected the shattered bottle - mangled
  • seeing all your missed calls he chucks his phone elsewhere before stealing more drinks from the bar downing them all
  • he hates you, he loves you, he wants you scream at you, he wants to kiss you, he wants to leave you, he wants to make up - his brain is just screaming at him
  • he’s found hours later by Jumin’s search party drunk and passed out :((((
  • but this becomes a regular occurrence as he drinks and smokes to forget about the confusing void you left in his heart as he completely avoids you to try get rid of this damn pain in his chest
  • occasionally you get drunk texts from him but whenever you reply you get no response.. it’s a cycle of pain.

° Jaehee

  • since she rarely invests her emotions on someone else this would be a huge let down for her.. she’s never experienced ‘heartbreak
  • and a reminder she cares for you.. a lot
  • so one day when she arrives to the office and sees your coat outside the manager’s desk she’s confused
  • but where are you?  (´・_・`)ゞ
  • she continues on with her work but she needs the stapler from the managers’ room so she just walks in there - she usually does
  • but what she sees shocks her soul out of her body
  • “Is that.. MC… and my manager?”
  • she doesn’t really react and just blinks a few times before clearing her throat and you can’t help the look of surprise on your face [yes u cunt]
  • but before you can say anything Jaehee just .. ignores it?
  • she just weakly whispers “I’m here for a stapler.. thank you”
  • taking the stapler she runs out the room even though you’re calling for her and even following her [fuck off]
  • heads straight into a single toilet locking the door before leaning on the basin and taking deep breaths recollecting her thoughts
  • her heart was thumping and she felt sick… deep breaths Jaehee..
  • she lied to me.. don’t think about it until work ends.. okay
  • calming herself down and wiping the few tears from her eyes she splashes cold water on her face and she readjusts herself and walks out again looking.. okay?
  • she walks straight past you and everyone else looking fine? everyone’s confused but she just plays it off
  • drowning out her worries with work she overworks.. for days.
  • she doesn’t want to face you at home and the problem so she doesn’t leave the office for about a w e e k!!??!./
  • she’s incredibly snappy to everyone and is extremely sleep deprived surviving on mugs of coffee and her eyes are super red
  • after a few days she’s threatened by Jumin [wow] to actually go home and she reluctantly agrees.. she has to face you now
  • taking a deep breath before opening the door she notices something different.. everything of yours is gone.. 
  • there are no traces of you..
  • her hearts starts ripping again as she absent mindedly  looks around the house.. it was like you never existed - she feels numb from the shock
  • biting her bottom lip to stop herself from crying she returns back into the main room where she notices - your scarf
  • she picks it up and thats when the emotions overwhelm her
  • breathing in your scent she starts to whimper into the scarf quietly hugging it - MC.. why..
  • the pain seems to swallow her before her breathing hitches and she lets loose cradling the scarf
  • theres a hole in her heart and this pit in her stomach.. this is what true heartbreak feels like but she can’t show this to anyone
  • so she continues doing what she does best.. acts as if everything is okay

° Jumin

  • wow cheating on Jumin? how did he not find out earlier is my question
  • him taking you out to dinner was a regular occurrence.. he liked showing you off to people - you were his beloved
  • so when you asked to go outside to take a call but spend over 20 minutes there.. he was worried as H E L L
  • excusing himself to go check he finds you beside the restaurant in a small alleyway and you weren’t alone
  • he manages to clear his throat before walking up to the man you were ‘caressing’ and pushes him to the wall before you start screaming at him
  • “JUMIN PLEASE WAIT NO STOP IT LEAVE HIM ALONE”
  • but he ignores you before giving the guy a swift simple punch across the jaw.. he had to take out his anger somehow?
  • because that’s all he felt in that moment. anger and betrayal.
  • adjusting his suit he grabs your arm before uttering two simple words “we’re leaving” [run]
  • the car ride home is awful.. he can’t seem to gather his thoughts and emotions and did his hand hurt even hurt? he can’t feel a thing now
  • drowning out your apologies in the car he stares lifelessly ahead until you get home and the questions are running and ticking through his brain
  • telling you to get out and go straight to bed he decides to spent the night at a hotel.. he needed a break
  • but thats a horrible idea.. a night alone with his thoughts um no
  • the second he arrives at the hotel he just calmly turns off his phone and sits on the edge of the bed. still lifelessly
  • “..Now what..”
  • it still hasn’t really hit him? the only person he could trust fully.. had .. cheated on him?
  • pacing around the room there was no logical solution for this.. what was he supposed to do?
  • running water over his slightly cut hand he starts to feel the slight stinging sensation and instantaneously he feels an an ache, a deep ache from the core of his body
  • sitting down once more he then flicks over his wallet and stares at the photo of you, Elizabeth and himself 
  • and it triggers an overpowering wave of emotion
  • the room spiraled and he sank to the floor, finally letting the sadness overtake him
  • the world had crashed it shattered to tiny pieces and they were piercing through his heart..all he could think about is how much it hurt.. it hurt so bad he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs
  • he bows his head as his shoulders trembling.. why would you do this?
  •  it gets hard to breathe and he feels lightheaded but the physical pain doesn’t amount to the emotional pain
  • … he changed for you.. you helped him and crushed him all over again
  • throwing the picture away from him he brings his knees closer to him.. all his anger was now gone.. he was just.. tired
  • returning home the next day with red puffy eyes he sees all your stuff gone and he has a fixed mindset. love sucks.
  • immerses himself in work and different women from time to time - he always claims he’s okay. but you’ve destroyed him. another soul tormented

° Saeyoung

  • he’s been through.. S O much with you.. this would almost kill him..
  • one day he came over with flowers for you to surprise you at your house and you had forgotten that you’d given him your keys
  • seeing another man’s shoes at the front door he wouldn’t really care.. he’s an open person tbh
  • but hearing giggling from upstairs and clothes on the stairs? that was..
  • creeping up the stairs slowly he peeked into the keyhole before seeing you and someone else just.. well it was obvious
  • his broken heart was still and for a moment but he clenches his jaw before placing the flowers outside your door and leaving swiftly
  • every breath he took downstairs stabbed him like a knife being plunged into his chest over and over again ripping at him  
  • driving away he only felt numbness but then hatred and dysphoria surged through him with so much power he had no option but to pull over
  • his breath hitched in his throat as he broke down
  • his heart stopped beating, it had only beat for you and now his mind went black, as did his heart
  • he need you so much.. you were the only stability in his life yet you betrayed and left him like everyone else
  • “… Is there something wrong with me? That’s why no one wants me.. or just betrays me”
  • returning home he’d have to let his anger out somehow??
  • frustratedly pulling at his hair he grabs a photo frame of you both together and hurls it at the wall before slumping into his computer chair
  • he would have given his life for you yet you stepped on his heart leaving a deep void and a dull ache
  • he also like Jumin and Jaehee would try to immerse himself in work but he’d be very reckless about it
  • crying himself to sleep as he forces to delete your spam of messages but then he’s all cried out and he’s just numb
  • numb from everything.. everyone and the world
  • he can’t focus as everything he does reminds him of you.. he almost gives out his identity and messes up
  • but strangely enough he doesn’t care? he doesn’t care about anything at all because in his eyes he deserved it
  • he was being too selfish when he wanted you to himself.. when he was just a worthless hacker that everyone should avoid - it was dangerous enough anyway - 
  • it was stupid of him to hope for a future anyway..
  • forcing himself to believe this he isolates himself from everyone now, his remaining family, friends, work.. he had to be alone for everyone’s sake
  • he deserved this constant tugging lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away

° V

  • honestly speaking even if he suspected you of cheating he wouldn’t do anything
  • but when countless people confirmed that you were definitely cheating he’d get over his fears and confront you although he didn’t want to
  • when he was met with silence as your response all he could do was let out a small sigh and a feeble smile before getting up and could only respond with.. “okay”
  • it was clear to him that you didn’t love him anymore but he loved you still.. with every ounce of his being
  • but he just wanted you to be happy.. so he broke up with you right then and there because “if you’re happy with him, please continue to do so.. but I will always love you and I will always wait.”
  • it crushed his soul to say that as he walked away - but sometimes if you love someone you have to let them go [17 agen lol]
  • he needs some time off - so he goes to where he is most at peace
  • an open field where he could try mend his heart
  • but it felt as if world had fallen on his shoulders, feeling cracks of his heart as if it was glass, and they were trying to pry their way out
  • he didn’t even feel resentment.. just an engulfment of sorrow
  • taking out old photo books he quietly sat there flicking through the memories you created together tears dripping onto them
  • “how long was she upset for, I wish I could apologise?”
  • he was silently reflecting to himself but at the same time he couldn’t help but let a smile play on his lips remembering all the happy memories you spent together
  • you were so beautiful
  • he knew while flicking through though that if you needed him, even for a second he’d be there.. he’d give his all for you
  • he missed your presence, his other half, the one who understood him and never judged him for his mistakes
  • but he would feel guilty keeping you in a relationship that you didn’t ant to be in.. that was his main priority.. your happiness
  • so he vowed would stay by your side as a loyal friend no matter how much it hurt him to see you love another person
  • even though a constant nagging pain deep down inside his body would make feel utterly drained.. he would be there for you
  • every day forward he would pick himself up and show everyone he was okay and if ANYONE tried to be rude to you
  • you bet your ass he’d stick up for you.. even more than your current lover
  • but at the RFA party one day, when your new lover proposes to you -  he lets the tears fall from his eyes freely as he finally bursts from his seams
  • you’re not in his grasp anymore.. you’ve completely left him

(i haven’t proof read this I apologise its tired i’m late)

That Faithful Day|| Bill Denbrough x Reader

A/n: Happy Birthday by the way 🎊🎊🎊🎉🎉🎉👌 have a great birthday! 🎂


@trashyemonerd

-


Y/n sat in her porch, the wind peacefully swirled in the atmosphere like a solemn melody.


She gazed up and saw her friends goofing around with eachother with bright smiles.

It was Y/n’s birthday. Her first birthday in

Derry and her coulpe of friends forgot.


You know how sad that can make someone.

“Y/n! Come on! Eddie’s about to cartwheel down the hill!” Richie exclaimed.


Eddie rolled his eyes, but he chuckled in a soft and delighted manner.


“Nah, I’m good. I’ll just, chill here, I guess.” Bev saw the solemnly deep expression Y/n held.


“Are you sure?” She asked, Y/n nodded softly.


“Hm-alright! Let’s go!” Richie didn’t even think twice as he sped down the streets of Derry, maybe to head towards the barrens so Eddie would do his ‘cartwheel’.

As if he knew how to do one.


Beverley, Mike, Stanley and Ben both tailed along side with Eddie as he followed Richie’s receding form in the distance. The started a warm conversation with eachother as they laughed up a storm and walked down the rode.


“You s-s-sseem, ups-set.” Y/n heard Bill’s stuttering voice prowl behind her. Y/n looked over her shoulder and saw Bill sitting down on the wooden porch. The wood groaned under Bill’s and Y/n’s form.


“Do I?” Y/n mumbled. She didn’t want to just blurt out and say:

“Uh- well duh! It’s my birthday!”


She didn’t want to feel too needy seeing that she just joined the name that everyone knew to grow and love (for them that is) The Losers’ Club. Seeing everyone knew Y/n for a year and ever since she moved to Derry and she met the star of them all, Pennywise.

She was an official member of the group.


“Hey, I-I can make you one p-paper boat, G-Georgie loves playing with i-it when he’s u-upset.” Bill injected. He stood up as he extended his sweaty palm towards Y/n for her to grip.

Y/n looked at Bill’s hand. He always had a way for her to smile. She smiled warmly at the idea and stood up as she took Bill’s hand.


-

“Alright. Now, you wanna fold the b-bottom-” Bill said as he stood behind Y/n as she sat in the wooden chair, Bill’s arms were on either side of her, Y/n followed his said instructions and folded the bottom of the paper. But the creases got in the way, making the end of the paper boat tear.


“What the hell! I want another paper!” Y/n complained as she flicked the paper boat away and crossed her arms. Bill clenched his jaw nervously.


“N-no wait, you almost had it. It’s perfect. T-try again Y-Y/n,” Bill said. He placed his index finger on the paper boat and slid it to her.


“Teach me how then.”


“I am-”


“Bill, please, this is too complex for me. It may be easy for you, but not to me.” Bill didn’t reply back. He grabbed Y/n’s hand and led it to the paper. He creased it for her and then flipped the paper. He creased it once again and Y/n saw purple letters bright enough to catch anyone’s eyes.

Y/n was taken back as she read it.


“Happy Birthday <3 -from the losers”

Y/n saw everyone sign their name on paper boat. How did she not notice this?


Y/n felt her heart ache as she grabbed the now finished paper boat. Bill’s hands slowly slid up Y/n’s arms and onto her shoulders.


“Do you l-like it?” Bill asked. Y/n quickly turned around and hugged Bill.


“I thought you guys forgot!” Y/n cried out as the now tears of joy ran down her face.

Bill wrapped his arms around Y/n’s waist and burried his face in the crook of her neck.


“Happy birthday n/n.” He whispered.


“Can you guys kiss already?!” Y/n opened her eyes. She saw Richie and the gang hanging in Bill’s corridor.


“Thank you guys. At first I thought you guys actually forgot my birthday.” Y/n said.


“You’re our new member! We’ll never forget!” Ben laughed out. Mike nodded in agreement.


“Oh! We have a surprise. Come outside.” Eddie said, Everyone walked down the hallway. Bill grabbed his jacket and grabbed Y/n’s hand. The tailed along with the gang.


Outside everyone rounded the back of Bill’s backyard.

Balloons and confetti decorated. Y/n was amazed as some kids come from school was gathered back.


“Happy Birthday, Y/n!” They yelled out. Y/n was surprised she didn’t have enough time to react quick enough as Bill wrapped his hand around Y/n’s waist and his lips so happened to land on hers. A quick light flashed.


A camera.


Bill pulled away. Y/n was in shock. Her heartbeat couldnt even keep up. And that was impossible.


“They love eachother, boom. You guys took to long!” Richie said as he slapped his hands on Y/n’s shoulders.

“Look at these decorations you know who did them?” He asked as he then pushed uo his glasses.


“Uh, you?” Y/n questioned. Bill slowly scratched the back of his head.


“Nope! That thing!” Richie pointed straight ahead. Y/n quickly looked over and saw IT itself. He held many expressions. Hunger, anger and regret.


“I’m only here because he said I can eat his sister.” Pennywise blankly stated.


“No, I said you can eat the cake. Nice try though, Pennyfuck.” Richie glared at the clown. Pennywise narrowed his eyes.


“Now do what normal party clowns do and scare some kids–o o p s-” Pennywise grinned as he slowly backed away over to a crowd of hids by the snack table.

“Wait!” Richie ran after the clown, but Y/n could already hear screaming.


“Y/n you better enjoy this party. I went through hell to get this clown here to make the decorations look just right!” Richie yelled over to Y/n as he had his hands on Pennywise’s torso.


Y/n laughed a little too hard. Bill looked at Y/n and walked over to her.“Thanks for everything Bill.”

“No problem, Y/n.” He smiled and held her hand.

Public Service - One

“You know it’s been better since we broke up,” I looked up and saw Stephanie, a girl whom I had no interest in, yet hearing that sentence made me want to invite her to coffee and have her spill everything to me. “Tom is just so childish, I need someone with a career, someone who can do literally any one thing. Tom can’t do anything.” Truthfully, I had stopped listening to her after hearing her and Tom had broken up.

Stephanie and Tom were forcefully introduced to the parks department through our boss, Sandy. She had made it a personal task to see that Stephanie’s problem had been taken care of. Ever since we’d met them three months ago, I knew Tom and Stephanie weren’t well together. Stephanie didn’t believe in Tom and that’s what Tom needed – a support system.

“You and Tom aren’t together?” I didn’t realize I was talking until the question had already come out. Sandy and Stephanie looked toward me and Stephanie nodded, confused.

“Why?”

“Nothing, I don’t care.”

Keep reading

Daryl x Reader - Do it for her (Request)

MASTERLIST

Daryl x Reader

Requested by anon:  Hey! Can you please write an imagine with where the reader is young and have depression and daryl starts to help her with that because he loves her but he’s insecure about the age difference, sorry if it’s too much!

I hope you like it ;)

P.s: Reader is Beth and Maggie’s sister (and she’s legal)

ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO, SORRY FOR EVENTUAL GRAMMATICAL ERRORS.

She’s gone

How could it be?

Everything were going just fine, she was safe, the trade went smoothly and she was finally into my arms.

“Now we just need Noah”

After those words everything happened so fast.

Beth left my arms and walked toward that police officer, stabbing her with a pair of scissors.

Before I could elaborate what just happened, I hear a shoot and in a moment Beth fell to the ground…dead.

That’s something I will never forget…the death of my baby sister.

———————————————————————————————————————————————–

Since we arrived in Alexandria I wasn’t the same as before.

Everybody do something: Daryl helps Aaron recruiting people, Glenn and Tara go out scavenging…even Maggie, my older sister somehow recovered and start help out Alexandria’s people.

I spend days in bed doing nothing at all.

Every time I close my eyes I see the moment of her death, it was just too much to handle!

Suddenly I hear a knock on the door

“Come in”

“Hey…I thought I could bring you somethin’ to eat”

It was Daryl.

Me and Daryl get closer after Beth’s death…closer than we were before.

Since we arrived here, I closed myself into a room, everybody came to see how I were doing, trying to help me get out of this situation, however the only reaction they obtain from me was just a silent stare. However with Daryl was different.

He came to my room and talk to me about what he and Beth did when we got separated after the prison, he was the first to make me smile, talking about how Beth didn’t listen to him when he told her to not enter an old house but she did that anyway because she heard a dog.

He really understood me and I really enjoy his company.

“Thanks Daryl but I’m not hungry now”
He placed the tray with food on my bedside table

“I’m not going anywhere until you eat all of that, you need to eat”

“I don’t need to do anything”

“Damnit (Y/n)! Do you think that Beth will be happy seeing what are you doing to yourself?”
Somehow those words irritate me: “SHE’S NOT HERE! SHE’S GONE! She’ll never feel happiness or joy or sadness anymore! She’ll not sing or fall in love anymore because she’s dead! She’s dead because I couldn’t stop her and protect her!”

I start sobbing, all my sadness and guilt just came out at once.

I feel strong arms around me and Daryl breathing onto my hair: “sssh it wasn’t your fault, you did your best to keep her safe”

After I calmed down a little I start to realize something: Daryl was by my side since he arrived with the others at our farm, we haunt together, we also drink together but it’s just after my sister’s death that I start to see him as more than a member of our group or a friend.

“Daryl…”
He pull away from me just to looking into my eyes: “Yes?”
“Thank you… you make me feel better…every time you came here I feel happy, that’s something I didn’t feel for quite awhile so thank you”

“Don’t mention it…I really miss our “drunk nights” and hunting” he said smiling, while he caress my cheeks.

We stare at each other for minutes so I took the chance.

I peck him gently on the lips, then I move again and I start to kiss him.

At first he was still but after a little while he kiss me back, putting his hand on the back of my neck for deepening the kiss.

He was so good and I start to moan into the kiss.

Daryl’s eyes snapped open, and suddenly he pull away: “I have to go”.

He start heading to the door, but before he could open it, I take him by his wrist:” What happened? I thought you wanted it”

“It’s not that it’s just…”
I don’t let him finish, too hurted by his reaction:

“It’s just what? Ooh now I get it, for you I’ll always be Maggie’s broken sister that needs help and compassion…you know what? I’m tired of people who just pity me. I thought you were different but here you go, making your way toward my heart and then throw me away and leave me just like everyone else…”

“GOD DAMMIT (Y/N) I LOVE YOU OK?”

That was unexpected, Daryl Dixon was in love with me?
“Do you love me?”

“Yes I do, I love you since I lay my eyes on you”
I let go of his wrist and I start to caress his left cheek: “Then what’s the problem?”

“…It’s just…you’re so young, you could be my daughter, what people would think seeing you with someone like me?”

“Do you mean what people will say after they see me with an amazing and caring man? Do you really think that I care? You stayed by my side until now, helping me go through all of this…and I can do it just if you continue to stay by my side…I love you too Daryl, please, don’t throw our possible future away because people will judge us”.

Daryl didn’t answer, he just hug me tightly.

I hug him back, scared that if I let him go he’ll walk out of that door.

“Please stay with me”.

“I’ll never let you go” he answered kissing me.

I’ve a long road ahead of me, but I’m sure that with Daryl by my side I’ll be able to feel better and be back the way I was before all of this.

I’ll do it for her.

Dance with Devils - Charming Book- Vol. 4 Shiki  (Translation)

Hi!

I translated Shiki’s drama CD from Charming Book series. It’s based on the legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin. Enjoy! ^^

Special thanks to @violet-sin for the opportunity to listen and translate this wonderful drama CD! <3 :D

If you spot any mistakes, please let me know, so I can correct them. Thanks! ;D

And please don’t repost!


Japanese title: アクマに囁かれ魅了されるCD「Dance with Devils -Charming Book-」 Vol.4 シキ / ドラマCD (平川大輔)

English title: Captivating CDs Whispered by the Devil: Dance with Devils - Charming Book Vol. 4 Shiki (CV. Hirakawa Daisuke)


Keep reading

We Make the Kingdom - Pt 10

Image by silverdagger865

Pairing: Yongguk x OC
Genre: Fantasy, with Angst and Smut
Summary:  After a vampire attack leaves you almost dead, you are rescued by a group of werelions, powers long thought to be extinct. Upon discovering the same magic flows in your blood, you join their fight against encroaching vampires and another, very human monster, to save the kingdom.
Previous parts: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ,  8, 9(M), 1011, 12, 13


 Sunlight washed silver by the rain mingles with the muted orange light of the fire inside the shelter. You lie on your side, tucked against Yongguk with your head on his shoulder. His arm hangs low to encircle your waist. The other supports his neck. Yongguk had initially stiffened when you’d pulled him down next to you and snuggled into him. You stayed silent, waiting him out. Gradually, your calm seeps into Yongguk’s body so he is completely relaxed.

           Still, you are afraid he will close in on himself again if you say what you most want to. Like with a skittish colt, you cannot brashly approach Yongguk head on. Instead, you need to carefully and gently come to him from the side until he is comfortable enough not to run away.

           You trace a finger over the ink on his chest, trying to follow a single line through the maze. “Why did you get tattoos when magic has no effect on us?”

           Yongguk wriggles at your ticklish touch. “The king may control my body, but he does not own it. Nor does he own my will. It was more to prove it to myself than anyone else. My own quiet rebellion.”

           “There cannot be many around here who do them.”

           “I had to sneak down to different harbor towns.” Yongguk’s hand hesitantly trails up to your hair to let it cascade through his fingers. When you murmur happily, he starts combing his fingers through your locks. “Lots of sailors get them as drowning protection or luck charms, but others want tattoos to commemorate different voyages. It wasn’t hard to find a charm seller willing to do a tattoo without the magic. Less work, they said.”

           “Sneak?”

Keep reading

3

I have no words my very dear friends! Thank you for your solidarity… sometimes all a person needs is support and kind words; it is my duty to recall my inner force and redirect whatever it is needed to be amended. I cannot conceive any other way to participate in a social net but to be free to share whatever one deem convenient … to have the courage to share not just pictures but feelings is another way of making art and that is the way I understand life. Solidarity is more than a word emptied of contents, or a word one use whenever feel affected by a certain situation but forget when the the problem is other’s; solidarity, real solidarity, is what you, my very dear friends had the kindness of doing today with me by making coments in public or in private or just placing a heart to my post. Thank you very much; I will reply each one of you that made any comment by tomorrow. It is a bit late now here… For now please receive a big THANK YOU and my heart to all of you: @hjs-photography @snowghoul @nurnielfa @henricoudoux @jasonlowder @shinjiaratani @istmos @crinaprida @doortjehannig @madonnacathy @lena-copal-die-dritte @kreflections  (hope I mention all of you <3 )


“And I Am You And What I See Is Me” (from Pink Floyd’s Echoes)
Dear friends; It is very possible that at the beginning of June I can not keep posting for a time that I do not know. If that were the case, I shall return as soon as possible. My life in recent times is a complete mess. My book, the book of my life is running out of arguments, and the letters of the future that I imagined months ago are erasing, as diluted in the water of sadness. I have been so deluded that I came to think that good people have a right to happiness, but in the end, the projects, the plans, the hypotheses are nothing, because people betray and leave the ship when they are needed most on board.
My circumstances, my illness, the fact that a few months ago I left the safe harbor that supported me, to have been brave and courageous in the struggle for my life, all that has led me to an economic impoverishment that I never foreseen. I do not regret anything; I just open my heart because I want to, because I feel like it, because I’m like this, because I’m alone and I need to vent, because if I do not do, something chemical inside would burst to plunge me into the path without return of madness … and I do not want to go crazy; I am already a guy prone to depression, anxiety, hyperactivity and sadness, may be the most imperfect being among all human beings, but my heart is huge, warm, affectionate; All that has made me very strong, but even being a very strong person, I start to be tired …
If I were not able to settle my affairs in the next few days and I would be held without communicating options, I will try to return as soon as possible. I love you all, those who love and appreciate me and those who dance with joy in view of my bad luck and my misfortune. Those who blocked me, including some poor fool who has blocked me without knowing anything about me and my person. I just wish that life brings you all the good things we deserve.
Here I will continue as long as I can and circumstances allow me to remain.
I copy below a fragment of the only prose text that Pablo Neruda wrote; I identify myself fully, and perhaps you, or some of you, can understand, provided you want to read it, this way of exposing my heart to all the issues that life faces me.
I’m not a fool; Although I may be a bit crazy and imperfect to the utmost degree and do not use the calculator when it comes to love affairs, I am a man with heart and balls well put in the place that corresponds to them, and when I commit In some adventure I fight for my happiness to open tomb, without looking back and breaking the bridges that are behind my back. My mother died at the age of 48 and since I was a child I know that life is too short, that it is necessary to live it with the heart, because that is the only thing that will remain of us when we are no longer here: the memory.

—–

Pablo Neruda, prologue to THE INHABITANT AND HIS HOPE

[…] I always have predilections for great ideas, and although literature offers me with great hesitations and doubts, I prefer to do nothing to write dance or amusements.

I have a dramatic concept of life, and romantic; It does not correspond to me that does not reach deeply to my sensibility.

It was very difficult for me to combine this constant of my spirit with an expression more or less own. In my second book, Twenty Love Poems and a Desperate Song, I already had some triumphant work. This joy of self-sufficiency can not be known by the balanced assholes that are part of our literary life.

As a citizen, I am a quiet man, an enemy of established laws, governments and institutions. I am repulsed by the bourgeois, and I like the life of the restless and unsatisfied people, whether these artists or criminals.
(the above is a free translation)

——

      https://youtu.be/53N99Nim6WE

anonymous asked:

Salam. How do i completely stop my addiction to masturbating. Ive tried so many ways. Ive stopped fr a few weeks but every once in a while the desire comes back strong and I keep making dua but i always find myself falling for it. Pls make dua for me

Walaikum Assalaam,

Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala is the most forgiving and merciful. If we sincerely repent He will forgive us. No matter how many times we commit a mistake and after every fall we turn to Him and ask for His forgiveness sincerely He will forgive us. 

The temptation will be there but you have to suppress your desire for the sake of Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. Keep striving and never give up. Keep yourself busy and do productive things that will benefit you in the hereafter. Make dua and ask Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala for help. Cry and beg to Him that He give you strength to fight with your desire and help you abstain from sin. Avoid all the circumstances that trigger your feeling and strengthen your relationship with Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala.

“The more you go against the self, the more light will be put in the heart.”

Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

First of all find out what are the triggers and avoid being in those circumstances. Secondly fast if you are having problem in controlling desires or eat less. Thirdly temptation will always be there, throughout our life. But we have to abstain from the temptation. When you think about the desires and it gives you joy. The first thing you have to do is to repel that thought, before it becomes an action. Try to distract yourself, do something read books, talk to your family or anything that may help you to get distracted from the thought. If you keep thinking about it, it will become a stronger desire and it may happen you may end in doing sin.

Following are some tips that will help you to reduce sin in shaa Allah

1.      Fix your prayers.

Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater. And Allah knows that which you do. (Surat Al-`Ankabūt 29:45)

2.      Being God conscious, always keep in mind that whatever we do, we have to be accountable to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and He’s watching us all the time.

3.      When you get tempted to do sin think of the death because it is the cutter of delights.

The Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said:“Remember often the destroyer and cutter off of delights, which is death.” (Sunnan Trimidhi:2229)

4.    Have friends that remind you of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala not those whose company makes you forget Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.

5.    Strive to get closer to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala. When our connection is stronger with Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala it will be easy for us to fight with the desires.

6.    When you get tempted think of the following things:

·         Allah is watching you

·         Angels are recording your deeds

·         Punishment of the grave

·         You have to answer on the day of Judgement

Here are some tips to get closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala that will help you in shaa Allah.

1.If we want to get closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala, we have to fulfill our obligatory duties and follows the command of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and his messenger (peace be upon him) wholeheartedly.

2.Being God conscious, always keep in mind that whatever we do, we have to be accountable to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala and He’s watching us all the time.

3.Whenever we do a good work, always make the intention that you are doing this to please Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.

4.Be thankful to Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala in every situation and be happy with the Allah decree.

5.Try to do dhikr all the time, it will make us closer to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala.

Following are some dhikr that we can do all the time:

1.  Asthaghfirullah

2.  Subhaanallah

3. Alhamdulillah

4. Allahu Akbar

5. Laa ilaaha illallah

6. LA HAWLA WA LA QUWWATA ILLA BILLAH-HIL ALIYYIL ADHEEM

7. Asthaghfirullah-halladhee Laa ilaaha illa-huwal Hayyul Qayyuumu Wa athoobu Ilay

Or Asthaghfirullah

8. SUB-HAAN’ALLAAHi WA BI-HAM’DIHI SUB-HAAN’ALLAH-IL ADHEEM 

Or SUB-HAAN’ALLAAHi WA BI-HAM’DIHI

9. Subhāna-llāhi, wa-l-hamdu li-llāhi, wa lā ilāha illā-llāhu, wa-llāhu akbar. Wa lā hawla wa lā quwwata illā bi-llāhi-l-aliyyi-l-azīm

10. Lā ilāha illā-llāhu waḥdahu lā sharīka lahu lahu-l-mulku wa lahu-l-ḥamdu yuhyi wa yumītu wa huwa ḥayyu-llā yamūtu abadan abada, ḏū-l-jalāli wa-l-ikrām, biyadihi-l-khayr, wa huwa alā kulli Shay-in qadīr

Or 

Laa ilaaha illal-laahu wahdahu laa shareeka lahu, lahul-mulku wa lahul-hamdu wa huwa ‘alaa kulli shay-in qadeer

We should also recite much of durood e Ibrahim which is the durood that is recited towards the end of Salaah. 

Or the shortest durood is: Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim

6. Dua and Repentence:

Almighty Allah says in the Qur’an: “When my servants ask you concerning me, (tell them) I am indeed close (to them). I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on me.“ [2:186] 

The place of Dua is so high in front of Allah, that the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallim) has said:”Nothing is more honourable to Allah the Most High than Dua.”[Sahih al-Jami` no.5268]. 

Allah loves repentance & loves those who turn to him in sincere repentance: 

Truly Allah loves those who turn [to Him] in repentance… (Qur’an 2:222)

Narrated ‘Ubaadah that the Messenger of Allah said, “Whoever seeks forgiveness for the believing men and believing women, Allah will write for him a good deed for EACH believing man and believing woman.”(Tabarrani) 

Subhanallah this deed can be done in EVERY dua and can you imagine how many rewards can be gained for each and every Muslim you make dua for from Adam alayhis ‘salam until now and the last Muslim on earth. This is the easiest way to earn rewards that go into the billions and the more you make these dua’s then the more your good deed account will get filled!

Ask Allah for the help and try to do dhikr all the time, it will help you in shaa Allah. Recite Astaghfirullah, Durood Shareef and kalma as often you can. Desire will always be there, nafs and shaitan is our enemy and this battle will continue till our last breath. On our shortcomings we should repent to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala sincerely. He is the most forgiving and merciful.

I hope it will be helpful. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make things easier for you.

Allahumma Ameen

INFLICTION

Request Anonymous: “Sorry I’m sending us a. Inch of kids request but I just saw that your a god writer of pre serum Steve so could you possibly do one of reader and preserving Steve have a son together and they find out that there son have some of the same health issues Steve has?”

A/N: Don’t be sorry, I love getting requests! Especially for my fav preserum Steve! Also, AAAHHHH!!!  I’ve accepted the headcanon that Steve’s kids would have the same health problems as him and I’ve been DYING to write a fic about it! And, thank you!  I’m glad you like my writing!

Dad!Preserum!Steve x reader

Word count: 1784

Summary: Steve and (Y/N) were blessed to have a son, but not all is well with the Rogers baby.

Warnings: child-birth, mentioned health issues, self-hate, sad Stevie (of course)

(GIF not mine)

Originally posted by captainbuckybarness

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the problems with Kawoshin fanfiction

Idk i feel kinda bored when i read kawoshin fanfics from shinji’s pov. i mean yeah, i know, he hates himself, he thinks kaworu is perfect and he doesn’t deserve him, he wants to run away… yeah i get it lmao, we’ve seen this 100x in the actual show already. like it’s just not interesting to me anymore? I’m not saying that it’s a problem or anything like that or people should just stop writing about these ideas, it’s just, I wish there was a little more variety.

The fun thing about fanfiction is being able to explore ideas that weren’t fully developed in canon. like give me kaworu’s POV any day. A character who we don’t know that much about - show me the inner workings of his mind. Kaworu as a complex, flawed, “human” character - i’m all over that.

I also think that the kawoshin fandom in general should be more open to more “darker” portrayals of Kaworu. Because it honestly feels like, if you try to write Kaworu as anything but this perfect, all-loving, all-forgiving, messiah boyfriend, you get all this ppl saying shit like: “noooo, Kaworu would never do that!!!!! he’d never hurt Shinji!!!!!! he’s the only good character in the entire show!!!!!!! he can only be innocent and pure uwuw!!!!!!!!!! don’t do this to my husbandoooooo!!!!1!”

And the result of this is that Kaworu gets a very 1-dimensional portrayal in fanfiction where he becomes this gary-stu who can do no wrong and only exists to make Shinji feel better about himself.

One thing that eva fans on tumblr LOVE to criticise about canon Kawoshin is that it’s one of those wish-fulfilment relationships where you get this very  unhappy and insecure protagonist and then suddenly this manic pixie dream guy comes into their life and shows them the joys of living and everything is better. And therefore, it’s “unhealthy” bc Shinji and “expects to be loved unconditionally without giving anything back” or some shit. One day I’ll do a full rant on how much I hate this common belief but I did talk about it briefly here, where I explained that Kaworu actually has a very good reason for become so attached to Shinji, bc Shinji is the only one who treats him with any semblance of “kindness.”

But ANYway, the point is that, this so-called “unhealthy” relationship isn’t something that exists in canon. It exists in FANON. Trust me, I really hate the idea of a the Manic pixie dream guy/girl turns boring mc’s life upside down as much as anyone, but that’s not the relationship they have in the actual show/movies. But since Kawoshin fan fiction tends to keep canon Shinji’s flaws and minimise his good attributes, while emphasising Kaworu’s so-called “perfection” this is the type of relationship that ends up happening!!!! Which makes me think that ppl who complain about Kawoshin being unhealthy are actually confusing canon with fanon….

I’m honestly sick of gary-stu Kaworu. I want to see more portrayals of him as insecure, vulnerable, selfish … I want to see him fighting with the dangers of slipping into insanity or evil just the the other eva character do.

Another thing about fan fiction is that it doesn’t have to always be 300% accurate/canon. You can take things from the source that are a little bit ambiguous and twist them a little to show a new perspective. For example, taking Kaworu’s canon devotion to Shinji and exploring how this kind of intense love can actually be destructive and obsessive. No, I don’t mean go full testu-sabi and have non-con or anything like that.. that’s just.. no. But I mean don’t be afraid to show Kaworu’s love as more self-serving than most ppl perceive it as. 

That’s just an example, i’m not saying this should happen all the time or anything. the loving, gentle bf version of Kaworu is great too and probably more canon, it’s just like, once in a while it’d be nice to experiment w something different, y’know? I don’t mean make Kaworu completely evil or anything bc that’s honestly a really shallow interpretation (&what homophobic dudebros do), he can still be kind-hearted and gentle, just more complex.

For example, showing Kaworu’s struggle between his angelic instincts and his feelings for Shinji. His frustration with his lack of free will due to being controlled by Seele. The contradiction between his need to exert his free will, and his belief in fulfilling his pre-determined purpose and destiny. His martyr complex and how he unintentionally hurts Shinji by forcing him to kill him. His suicidal tendencies as shown in the drafts. His romanticisation of death.  Or wab having an existentialist crisis when he realises that he’s based his entire self-worth on his ability to make Shinji happy and he doesn’t succeed bc Shinji’s already happy? (i know, there’s like a doujinshi with that idea, it’s tetsu-sabi b4 she went overboard with the yandere)

Or what about a more morally ambiguous Kaworu? Someone who doesn’t actually care about humanity aside from Shinji? Hell, maybe he doesn’t even care about Shinji and it’s all just a lie. Or who has been duped by Seele into believing that instrumentality is the best way to go? Or exploring the idea of him actually lying to Shinji in 3.0 for Shinji’s own good? It’s not canon, but it’s a take on canon. This is actually what Sadamoto did in his manga. He took several of Kaworu’s basic traits (desire to understand humanity, etc.) and twisted them to create a character who was more developed and flawed than the original but still fundamentally similar. It’s actually an good challenge for a writer to be able to create a morally ambiguous character and still make them sympathetic/likeable. Kaworu can still be fundamentally good, even if he has flaws.

What about the idea that his love isn’t lit unconditional bc he’s actually relying on Shinji to help him forget his own bloody loneliness, and yes, it is actually canon (check out NGE2 classified files) that Kaworu is lonely af and he would literally rather die than be alone or with ppl who don’t like him and that’s why he seems so self-sacrificing and why he’s so eager to make connections with other people. 

Isn’t that so much more interesting than just “I WANT TO MAKE SHINJI HAPPY AND THAT’S IT”?

i mean, since kaworu is kinda ambiguous, there’s a lot of room for interpretation, right? you can make him perfect or you can make him flawed, technically neither is wrong. it’s just that I personally find the “perfect” interpretation really flat and boring. We always see Kaworu through Shinji’s eyes, so it’s more interesting to see him as a complex character in his own right.

Also, this might just be me, but does anyone else find it kinda condescending when in fics, Kaworu says that the reason he likes Shinji is because of his human imperfections? It takes away any meaning to their relationship bc he might as well just have fallen in love with Asuka, or Misato or fucking GENDO instead, seeing as flaws are apparently the only thing he’s attracted to. Or when ff writers make it seem like it’s Kaworu’s job to help Shinji become a so-called “better-person” … the fuck? Kaworu isn’t some lame-ass school guidance counsellor. Writers try portray him as so magnanimous but honestly it always comes off as so patronising. Like treating a friend or love interest like some kind of project that needs to be improved. Especially that kind of “I won’t help you bc that’s the only way you can grow” bs. Again, this kind of plot stems from the interpretation of Kaworu as a magical perfect person who can do no wrong.

Now I’m not exactly an Asushin shipper, but once I read this really good fan fiction that was both in-character and also added some new ideas and personality traits that weren’t shown in the show but made sense. Both Shinji and Asuka were flawed, but neither of them were demonised. They had to work to understand each other and over come their issues. Not just one person having problems, not just one person reaching out. It was equal

I just wish that more Kawoshin fan fiction could be like this too. 

I mean, yeah I’m sure there are some like that but just not the ones I’ve read recently. 

ALSO. Karlshaun. Why are there so few Karlshaun fics? They’re dysfunctional af and don’t understand each other and have weird sexual tension and I love it. Why isn’t there more????? 

On Borrowed Time - Chapter 8

Summary: Betty took a gap year for relaxation. What she didn’t expect it to include, was a road trip around the country with her best friend in tow.The fact that he was on the waiting list for a heart transplant and that she’s in love with him may have factored into her decision making. Just a little bit.

Find it here on AO3/ Tumblr: C1, C2 , C3 , C4 , C5 , C6 & C7

As December rolls around, bags are packed and the car is refilled to make the trip back down South. It’s not feasible to complete the drive all in one day. So Jughead drives the first portion, stopping off in Manchester. There they meet up with Archie and Veronica. Archie greets them with a large smile and the typical bear hug, whispering “I missed you two lovebirds.” They both receive an equally tight hug from Veronica. Leaving Betty in a fit of giggles, as Jughead pulls an odd face at the intrusion of his personal space. He awkwardly pats Veronica on the back and tries his best to not stare intently at her eyebrows.

They spend the night in another chain hotel, neither of them willing to sleep on Archie’s floor. There’s more than a few questionable stains that they certainly weren’t comfortable asking about, never mind laying on. The following day they fill the car up, including their redhaired friend and continue the journey back home. Veronica set to join them after Christmas to spend New Year’s with Archie. With Archie up front to have command of the radio, Jughead takes the opportunity to stretch across the back seats.

I’m the trouble starter, punkin’ instigator.

Jughead cracks one blue eye open, catching Betty’s gaze in the rear view mirror as he goes in search of the interruption. “I didn’t realise we’d travelled back in time twenty years. I must have been asleep for ages.”

I’m the fear addicted, danger illustrated.

Archie blows out his cheeks. “Betty likes it, don’t you?” Betty’s eyebrows raise, keeping her eyes on the road. Jughead thinks it’s probably more to avoid answering Archie, than anything else.

“Fine. I’ll find something else.” He goes back to scrolling through his phone, allowing Jughead to get a few minutes of peace.

I woke up today with this feeling.

Jughead’s forehead creases. “No.” Betty snorts.

That better things are coming my way.

“Why?” Archie retorts, voice high. He turns round in his seat to look at Jughead.

And if the sunshine has a meaning.

Jughead’s eyebrow quirks. “Do I look like a teenage girl from the early 2000’s?” Archie exhales sharply, twisting back to face the front of the car. The noise of him scrolling filling the air again.

When the world, leaves you feeling blue.
You can count on me, I will be there for you.

Jughead frowns. “Please refer to my previous statement.” Archie looks towards Betty for support, only to find her biting her cheek in attempt to keep herself from laughing.

“This whole you two being together thing, really has some negatives.”

Betty grins, eyes flicking to the passenger seat. “We’ve never agreed with your music choices, Archie.” His nose crinkles in reply, but he can’t hide the small smile on his face that always comes from spending time together. Jughead closes his eyes, enjoying the quiet.

Not a minute later, he finds himself being woken up again. “I’ve found something that I think will appeal to us all.” Archie exclaims excitedly. Jughead braces himself as the tune begins to play through the car speakers.

One, Two, One, Two, Three, Go!

Jughead’s stomach drops as he recognises the song. “Oh god.”

Clap your hands.

Archie turns in his seat again, grinning menacingly. “I knew you’d like it!”

Sleep.

“This is all the childhood memories I try to forget.” Jughead states, making Betty laugh loudly from the driver’s seat as she overtakes a slower car.

Wave your hands.

“This moment right here, this is worse than the illness.” He declares, watching as Archie starts to dance along with the commands.

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Mun/muse respect and appreciation...

*deep breath in*

I think it is very important to remember that there is a mun behind the muse. Since I’ve joined Tumblr a couple of months ago I’ve noticed that from time to time people seem to forget that. These blogs are made to be fun. Let’s keep it that way. Remember that the people who run these blogs are doing it out of the goodness of their own hearts. They take time out of their day to interact with their multiple followers. They do not get paid to do it, but they continue to do it regardless, because they know it brings other people joy.

Try to remember that they have lives outside of Tumblr. They have priorities and problems that arise, and maybe they can’t get back to you right away. And sometimes Tumblr is a mutherfucker and it eats your ask, or maybe (if they have a LOT of followers) it’s possible that your post got buried and they just didn’t see it. Don’t panic and assume they hate you! Jesus Christ!

Try to put yourself in their position. Imagine having hundreds of followers who – on a daily basis – are sending you asks, tagging you, sending submissions, making requests. That’s a LOT of goddamn work! They likely get swamped regularly, and the fact that they can keep up is mind-fuckin-boggling to me. One of the main reasons why I don’t do major RPs is because it seems overwhelming, and I’m not organised enough to deal with that shit! So kudos to anyone who RPs!!

If you are RPing with a person, be respectful. Don’t try godmoding and taking shit in a direction someone doesn’t want it to go in. Communicate with your partner! If you ever get the feeling like maybe they aren’t as into it as you are anymore, shoot them a message! Politely ask if they are still okay with the way things are going. Shit like that! It isn’t rocket-science! Maybe it got a little off track. Whatever. Communication can fix a lot.

Do. Not. Treat. Them. LIKE THEY BELONG TO YOU!!! That’s a person. Not your tool. Not your sex toy. Not your property. A person. And that person has multiple different interactions with multiple different people. Their universe is not centered around you. They have SOOOOO many people to please, and they try their hardest to make everyone happy. Do not get greedy. Do not get jealous. I understand that some people are having a rough go in life, and coming on here and getting away from it all makes them feel better. That is fine. If this is therapeutic, then by all means, have at ‘er! But always respect the people you interact with. To expect them to be at your beck and call and place you on a pedestal is unrealistic and unfair. We are all equally important to them. No one above the other.

Let’s appreciate our muns! Keep it fun for them! Give them a reason to want to keep doing this shit, because unless you own a blog like that, you have no idea how much work it is. Don’t ask them the same question every day. Don’t be needy. Don’t make everything about fucking (and that’s coming from a huge pervert, so you know it’s an issue). Build real relationships. Try to be deep. Send them creative asks. Make it interesting!!!

And do me a favour! If you’re reading this and you think you might be guilty of any of these things, don’t run off to bombard anyone with apologies. Just try to be thoughtful and respectful moving forward. Sometimes we get caught up in shit without even realizing it (I’m guilty of that myself from time to time, and I have enough lady-balls to admit it). Don’t take this personally and disappear. Don’t. You are not a burden. Stop thinking that way. These people are amazing, and they love their followers, but sometimes we can forget ourselves. This isn’t about making people feel bad, this is about reminding people to treat our muns and muses with respect and being mindful of our own actions. This isn’t an attack, this is my opinion. It has been bothering me for so long, and I don’t keep the shit that bothers me bottled up. And if it pisses you off that I’m saying this, then do whatever you’ve gotta do. Unfollow me. Block me. Cuss me out. But keep something in mind. I’m a nice, reasonable person, but when I see people getting mistreated it goes beyond the funny, sarcastic, carefree side of me, and it turns into something a lot more serious. If you’re gunna give me shit for standing up for people, be prepared for my retaliation. I didn’t name my blog ‘rage machine’ to be ironic.

Be respectful!!!

*deep breath out*

Taming the Monster Ch. 3/3

Here we are, at the end of the fic I wrote for @tdgal1’s birthday. I hope you enjoy this last chapter. I’m sorry it took so long - I had a lot of writer’s block on this one. Thank you everyone for your love for this fic. :) And once again thanks to @magda1102 for her wonderful art. Read it on Ao3 or below. Enjoy! 

 Chapter 3: No Choice to Make

Communication was not one of Oliver Queen’s life skills – but damn, could that man kiss.

That’s what Felicity thought to herself as she lay in her bed with him later that evening, with their limbs tangled together and their skin tingling with the afterglow of making love. She was slightly scandalized by her own behavior. Felicity barely remembered them somehow transitioning from making out in her office to having sex in her bed.

Really, really good sex, Felicity thought to herself. While their time in Russia had been fevered and hurried due to her heat, this afternoon’s lovemaking was slow and passionate. Body remembering body. In-depth exploration. New discoveries and familiar territory at the same time.

It was amazing that even though she was not in heat, Oliver awoke something in her that she had never felt before. And that worried her a little bit. She had heard of some mates connecting on a primal level before they even bonded – but she had always brushed that off as an urban legend. She didn’t like the idea of hormones and biology determining her future, but on the other hand, she could not deny how being with Oliver made her feel…complete.  Not in a way that meant she couldn’t live without him (although she questioned whether she could at this point), but rather that her life was so much better now that he was in it.

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