I believe it was the LAST time they were genuinely happy

2.1.2016

I slept really good last night. For the first time in a really long time, I didn’t wake up throughout the night.

I had a dream about you.

You texted me, said you were back and that you didn’t mean to leave. You told me to call you and we talked. I couldn’t believe it was you but then I heard your laugh. I still remember your laugh so clearly. I woke up and I was happy. Genuinely happy about being alive and being awake.

Then I realized, for the one thousandth time, that you’re never coming back.

But I can still hear it. I can still hear your laugh whenever I make a joke that no one else gets. I can still see you smiling at me and shaking your head when I’m trying too hard because you didn’t think I should have to try at all. But you aren’t here anymore, so who’s going to accept me the the way that you did?

I feel so guilty because I want my thoughts of you to make me happy but it only hurts right now.