I am having way too many sherlock feels

How am I supposed to feel about this?

a comment I just received for It’s The Only Way:

I think this is a good start. I hope you take your time writing the aftermath of this incident between them. Sherlock still went back and forth between having feeling for her and saying he doesn’t love her. This must be hard for Molly also because it’s a forced situation. I have read many of your fics, if there is one thing I think you could better your writing is that I think you write the getting back together too easily. Like it’s too quick to buy that they love each other and are ready for more because as you see you set this difficult situation up, now you have to convince the readers to believe they are okay with the consequences and stuff.

I’m not calling you out or anything. I just want to express my emotions about this because you have got such a premise for this story. It could be one of your best. I just wanna make sure you fulfill this story’s potential and also get better as a writer. I have liked a lot of your writings and cant wait to read more from you.

This person has been critical of my pacing before, now this. Normally, a comment that’s two paragraphs is a good thing.

Dear Sherlock Fandom,

I don’t ship Johnlock. And somehow many of you (not most or all, I’m not generalizing) have a problem with that. Let me tell you a story.

When I first heard about Sherlock, I was overwhelmed by the art and fanfiction surrounding Johnlock. I slowly started to ship it (and essentially got the fuck over any and all homophobia, a very good thing seeing who I am now) without even watching the show. It was adorable.

Not long before that though, I had begun to identify as asexual. As in, I do not feel sexual attraction. If you want more info than that I suggest looking in the tag for asexual and educating yourselves. Anyway, I still wasn’t really comfortable with the label even though it felt right, It almost sounded like something was wrong with me, like I was just a late bloomer or hadn’t met the right person.

And then I watched Sherlock.

Sherlock Holmes is asexual. That is how I see him, that is how he is presented, and that is my interpretation of him. This was huge for me. A character I can finally relate to, who values work and the pursuit of knowledge and his few friendships over pursuing any sort of romantic or sexual relationship. Even in A Scandal in Belgravia, he never seemed attracted to Irene, just fascinated with her. He wasn’t staring at her because she was naked but because she was smart enough to  be naked. He couldn’t deduce a thing about her he didn’t already know because most of his deductions come from people’s clothes and such.

Society is obsessed with sex. You probably can’t see it, because you’ve never understood it as problematic. Even kids shows have a focus on romantic relationships and such. Its hard to find a single media without some sort of romance going on between two of the characters, All my heroes… They aren’t like me. They have desires I can never relate to or understand. I am a minority. Society likes to ignore my existence. In doing so they are sending me the message that I am strange, I am not normal, I am different, I am broken, I need to be fixed. These aren’t healthy things for a teenager to think. Characters like Sherlock, Enjolras, and the Eleventh Doctor (how Matt played him, not how he was written) are refreshing and wonderful and help me feel like maybe there’s nothing to fix.

You see, I need these characters to be asexual, at least in my interpretations. But problems arise because so many of the Johnlock shippers have yelled at me or interrogated me for not shipping it. And then they get all up in my face and start telling me my interpretation of Sherlock isn’t right and that I can’t read subtext and am blind and yada yada yada. Please don’t do this. Please. It makes me feel broken again. I understand there is a lot of queerbaiting in Sherlock (although they ruin it for me because they use it as a joke constantly), and you know what? Theres plenty of evidence for asexual Sherlock too! Characters can be interpreted in many ways and telling someone they are wrong kills their experience reading or watching or otherwise participating in the fandoms and can be harmful in situations like mine. Just please. Stop.