I am a strong 20 year old woman

What Hurts

Sister!Reader x Dean Winchester, Sister!Reader x Sam Winchester

Warnings: Reader Self Harm, Depression

A/N: This may or may not suck but, let’s hope for the best! BTW, I was listening to “Hurts So Good” by Astrid S. while writing this so, go check that out!

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Being a hunter, you’re suppose to stay strong through and through.

Being a 20 year old woman who was forced to grow up too soon and has to consistently watch her brothers die over and over again. That’s a different story.

Watching Dean and Sam be hurt, dying, being possessed, going off the deep end, it all hurts. And even though they are right down the hall from me, I still feel like I am completely alone.

They don’t talk to me like we use to. And I stay in my room most times, with no contact on the outside world besides Cas bringing me food every once in a while with a pitiful smile.

But I’m numb. I just want to feel again. I want to be human again.

I walk over to my night stand and grab the switch blade I’ve had since I was twelve. I press the sharp object to my skin, letting the burn settle. It hurt like a bitch, don’t get me wrong, but it was nice that I could feel something again.

But just like that, I was back to being numb. I press the knife into my arm again. And again. And again. Until I was satisfied and had at least seven cuts in.

ONE WEEK LATER

After that night, I felt a little better, knowing I wasn’t numb to the bone. But still, my chest and head ached at times and I have to go to my room again.

I grab the knife and pull my sleeves up. I press the blade to my skin, welcoming the feeling again.

“Hey (Y/N) I need your he-…No.” Dean barges in. I drop the knife from where it was and I just stared at him. He was so heart broken.

Dean walks over and grabs the knife from the floor, closing it and putting it in his pocket. He then grabs my hand and drags me out of my room. Panic washed over me when he took my to the kitchen, where I knew Sam was.

I pulled back a little but his hand gripped onto me. There wasn’t any use in fighting it.

He brought me into the kitchen and told me to sit on a chair while he went and grabbed some disinfectant and gauze from the cabinet. I could feel Sam staring at me, but I kept my eyes to the ground.

Dean comes back over, drenching a piece of cloth in disinfectant and pressing it against my skin, making me hiss at the harsh burn. He held it there and was just staring at my arm.

How long have you been doing this to yourself?” Sam asks, breaking the silence.

“For a week now.” I inform shortly.

Dean takes the cloth off and then grabs the gauze, wrapping it around my arm and taping it. He sits there and stares down at his shoes.

“Why?” he whispers.

I can’t stand being alone Dean. It hurts. My head, my heart, it all hurts.” I say loud enough to where Sam can also hear. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. He grabs my hands.

“Look at me (Y/N) Winchester. Now. You are strong, and you are brave. There is no need for you to do this. Sam and I aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. And we are always there for you. So when you feel the need to do this again, come to us. If you can’t, just breathe. You will be alright. We believe in you.” Dean says staring into my eyes. I nod and he pulls me into a hug. I feel a hand press to my back and I pull away to hug my other brother.

“We love you. Always remember that.”

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

anonymous asked:

Honestly, why do you stan ugly and mean Henry VII?

I, am trying to be more…optimistic in life. I’ve got, what - 20, 30 60??? more years left - and my family history says I have less. Now the old Stanley Hudson Caroline would’ve found something to complain about with this actress medieval king…But that’s no way to live life! Look…at this healthy, sexy, pretty, strong young woman fifteenth century ruler. Come on, people! She He…is…hot.

anonymous asked:

Can I have a ship? I'm a 20 year old woman. I have 5 "2. I have a long brown hair.I am an extroverted person, I love dancing, I love music. I am always cheerful, but sometimes I have mood swings that make me irritate with small things. I have an extremely strong personality. I fight and defend the people I love. I am faithful and totally willing to solve someone's problem. I hate lies and betrayals. But despite being a strong person, I am sometimes sensitive and fragile. I do law school.

Jax! You both have the same feelings about betrayal and loyalty, and being extroverted helps you be Old Lady to the Pres.

Originally posted by wcaohtbltorsoaff

anonymous asked:

Am I the only one that just realized how dangerous capturing cards really are? I started watching CCS when I was like 9 and back in the day I was like "that is so cool! I want magical powers too" and now that I'm in my 20s I realized that they can get seriously injured or worst! And now with this new cards that are more aggressive. Protect my poor daughter! <\3

LET’S NOT FORGET SAKURA WAS ONLY 9-10 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE CAPTURED THE CARDS.

I really admire her! I’m pretty sure she will be ok, she’s such a strong, intelligent and capable woman that can get through anything! <3

Con: In response to the non confession about wanting to hear more stories about surviving the issues black women faced. I wanna say this.
In the 5th grade I first realized that I was being picked on for being too black
In the 6th grade I was constantly called “white girl”, “Oreo” and “not black”
In the 7th grade I couldn’t and rarely looked at mirrors because I thought I was so ugly.
In the 8th grade I started bleaching my skin.
In the 9th I started wearing weave regularly because I hated my hair and (I would cry when I saw my actual hair). I became a walking black stereotype because I didn’t want to continue being an Oreo….I wanted to be a real black person.
In the 10th grade I would have to stop myself from crying in a class filled with white people because “I’m literally the ugliest girl in class” and “their hair is real and mines isn’t and their hair looks good and it’s obvious mines is fake”
In the 11th and 12th grade I just hated being black PERIOD!! I wanted to be Hispanics or light skinned.
BUT….my first year of college I told myself “I’m tired of feeling tired of being black.” From that point on I told myself everyday I’m a beautiful black woman. That I won’t be stopped because I am black and I am a woman, and that I also won’t walk around hating everyone because I’ve been made to believe that NO ONE LIKES ME. I will dislike based off of personal experience and will refuse to generalize out of fear. I will work hard and will not be stopped. I will be a strong black woman. So……
After my first year of college I went natural because it finally hit me that I permed my hair hoping one day it would be long and straight like a Hispanic woman, it WASN’T no matter how hard I wished. It was time to learn to love my own hair. Best decision ever.
My second year of college… I decided I would rather take care of my skin than change it. No more bleaching. I use Aveeno products and my skin hasn’t looked more radiant and clear.
NOW… I sit in a room filled with non black women…I don’t feel insecure.
I hear black men down black women…I don’t feel phased.
I hear what people think about black women…I laugh and keep it moving.
In the end I am a happy 20 year old black woman who refuses to generalize the world as black hating rather I know there is good and bad. I won’t feel bad about how I look nor am I insecure about it. I love my hair, skin, features, body type EVERYTHING.
Sometimes it’s scary and sometimes I feel like the world is against me but you can’t keep a strong one down for long.
Instead of putting down other black women I just support and push us all to be a better version of ourselves.
I’m not lying and telling people my grandfather is mixed with Russian NO IM BLACK.
People think I’m conceited but no I just love myself way more than anyone can even fathom.
I don’t care about others and who they date and what they say because I am a new me. And I love it. I LOVE BEING BLACK!!! I DONT WANT TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN A BLACK WOMAN!! ITS JUST SO SAD THAT IT TOOK ME 18 YEARS TO FIGURE OUT HOW BLESSED I TRULY WAS.
How’s that for a survival story.

They always told me I wasn’t good enough and they always said I’ll never get where I want in life looking the way I do. I was made out to be nothing but “The fat girl” my entire life. When I was 13 I cut for the first time; remember it like it was yesterday. I still have the scar from that night, a night i have burned into my memory. It hurt so much but felt better than the pain I was feeling inside,but that’s not what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to prove them right, it was time for change. I can now say that I am 20 years old, graduated high school straight in to medical school where I’ll be graduating in October of 2014. Best part is that I’ve been self harm free for over 5 years, and I’ve never been happier. I’ve never been so happy to say “yes I am a big woman,but I am a Big, strong, independent, beautiful woman”! I am who I’ve always wanted to be, just because I’m in a bigger body than what society wants me to be doesn’t mean I’m any different.

BE BRAVE! JOIN THE BODY PEACE REVOLUTION!