Sister!Reader x Dean Winchester, Sister!Reader x Sam Winchester
Warnings: Reader Self Harm, Depression
A/N: This may or may not suck but, let’s hope for the best! BTW, I was listening to “Hurts So Good” by Astrid S. while writing this so, go check that out!
Being a hunter, you’re suppose to stay strong through and through.
Being a 20 year old woman who was forced to grow up too soon and has to consistently watch her brothers die over and over again. That’s a different story.
Watching Dean and Sam be hurt, dying, being possessed, going off the deep end, it all hurts. And even though they are right down the hall from me, I still feel like I am completely alone.
They don’t talk to me like we use to. And I stay in my room most times, with no contact on the outside world besides Cas bringing me food every once in a while with a pitiful smile.
But I’m numb. I just want to feel again. I want to be human again.
I walk over to my night stand and grab the switch blade I’ve had since I was twelve. I press the sharp object to my skin, letting the burn settle. It hurt like a bitch, don’t get me wrong, but it was nice that I could feel something again.
But just like that, I was back to being numb. I press the knife into my arm again. And again. And again. Until I was satisfied and had at least seven cuts in.
ONE WEEK LATER
After that night, I felt a little better, knowing I wasn’t numb to the bone. But still, my chest and head ached at times and I have to go to my room again.
I grab the knife and pull my sleeves up. I press the blade to my skin, welcoming the feeling again.
“Hey (Y/N) I need your he-…No.” Dean barges in. I drop the knife from where it was and I just stared at him. He was so heart broken.
Dean walks over and grabs the knife from the floor, closing it and putting it in his pocket. He then grabs my hand and drags me out of my room. Panic washed over me when he took my to the kitchen, where I knew Sam was.
I pulled back a little but his hand gripped onto me. There wasn’t any use in fighting it.
He brought me into the kitchen and told me to sit on a chair while he went and grabbed some disinfectant and gauze from the cabinet. I could feel Sam staring at me, but I kept my eyes to the ground.
Dean comes back over, drenching a piece of cloth in disinfectant and pressing it against my skin, making me hiss at the harsh burn. He held it there and was just staring at my arm.
“How long have you been doing this to yourself?” Sam asks, breaking the silence.
“For a week now.” I inform shortly.
Dean takes the cloth off and then grabs the gauze, wrapping it around my arm and taping it. He sits there and stares down at his shoes.
“Why?” he whispers.
“I can’t stand being alone Dean. It hurts. My head, my heart, it all hurts.” I say loud enough to where Sam can also hear. Tears were rolling down my cheeks. He grabs my hands.
“Look at me (Y/N) Winchester. Now. You are strong, and you are brave. There is no need for you to do this. Sam and I aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. And we are always there for you. So when you feel the need to do this again, come to us. If you can’t, just breathe. You will be alright. We believe in you.” Dean says staring into my eyes. I nod and he pulls me into a hug. I feel a hand press to my back and I pull away to hug my other brother.
“We love you. Always remember that.”