I Will Wait

So I will wait for you. I will wait one day, one week, 7 months, 3 years, hell even a decade. I will wait for you even if you don’t remember my name or the colour of my eyes. I will wait for you even if you claim to not love me anymore. I will try and make you fall in love again. You’re worth all the effort. I will wait for you even if it kills me because I will never ever find a love that burned as bright as ours. I will wait for you, my love. Take your time.
—  i will wait // 11:32 pm
How miserable do you want me to be? You don’t want me to be with anyone, yet you don’t want to be with me. You can’t stand the idea of me moving on, but at the same time you’re not ready to give us a try.
— 

-What do you want? I’m only so patient.

-m.t.t.

It’s getting harder to breathe at night and no matter how hard I try, the thought of you does not ease my mind. I have loved you endlessly, in miles and miles of separation you have always been the one. You are not around, around to hold, around to kiss, around to complain to about my workday and how I wish I could just rest in your arms and forget the world. You are not around, and the miles seem like they are slowly building universes between us but I will not let them break us down. You are not around and people do not understand. They ask why I always look so tired, so sad, so empty. They don’t understand that having you here right now is all I ever longed for. The crave of your lips, your voice as it says, “Good morning,” and your beautiful smile is getting unbearable; never have I wanted something more in my life. Phone calls, facetimes, and text messages to start my mornings but nothing compares to waking up along your side with the sun rays beaming on your pale skin as I bury my face in your neck. It’s getting harder to breathe at night, but I promise you this. No matter where this world takes us, no matter who we meet, or what we learn, you are the one I want the most. Distance can only make us stronger and waiting until the next time I see you again, is only another reason to wake up each day, knowing that I have love, and God, this love is more worthy than life alone.
—  We sleep under the same sky (VIT)
  • I Will Wait
  • Mumford & Sons
  • Babel
Play

“I Will Wait"
Mumford & Sons

I’ve only recently discovered the awesomeness of Mumford and Sons. Most of the time, a song is special because of the way it makes us feel, and if a song is really special, I’ll remember the exact place I was when I first heard it. In this case, I was sitting on my couch, watching the 2013 Grammy Awards.

Some would say this song is about a person waiting for “that someone” to come along. Others might say it’s about waiting for something more—something bigger, better, different.

I’ve been waiting for a lot of things in my life, but mainly, I’ve been waiting for that one thing that is supposed to turn everything else around. I’m still waiting for it, hoping it’ll point me in the right direction. It may be a person. It may be a job. It may be a place. Maybe it could be all three. Regardless of what “it” may be, this song brings a kind of peace within myself, a stillness that says, “Even though nothing makes sense right now, it will eventually.”

And so I will wait.

I’ll be bold, as well as strong, and use my head alongside my heart. So tame my flesh, and fix my eyes. A tethered mind freed from the lies.

This is my favorite part of this song. It says exactly want I want to be able to say, but haven’t been able to yet:

I’ll be bold, and I won’t be afraid.
I’ll be strong when things get tough.
My heart will lead me in the right direction.
I’ll fix my eyes on what I want, and I won’t listen to all the lies telling me I can’t do it, telling me it’s impossible.
I will free myself from those lies, those voices—and keep going. It may take a while.

But I will wait.

Raise my hands. Paint my spirit gold. And bow my head. Keep my heart slow.

Life can be tough. It can push pretty hard. But sometimes, people step up. They rise above themselves. They realize that no matter how compressing the darkness may feel, they can always find that small light, the small flame that I call hope. Even if we can’t see it, we know it’s there. We just have to reach out and look for it.

This song brings me that hope. It reminds me that my spirit is gold and alive with passion. Sometimes it just takes a melody to remember that things might actually be OK or the sound of a banjo to bring joy. Through all the sadness and the dark nights, these melodies are like a morning light, and with their words comes a sunrise. And suddenly, things don’t seem so bad.

Life is about the adventure of finding that one thing that sets you free. I will keep waiting for it—and for you. Wherever you may be, wherever you are, let’s kneel down and wait for now.

—Jaimie