I Will Lose Followers Over This

I don’t post much about my weight loss journey but Words can’t describe how proud I am of myself for losing 94 pounds in the last year and 3 months! Seeing the difference in pictures motivates me to keep going. I feel like a whole new person and it feels great to be so confident in myself and wear the things I want to wear without caring what anyone thinks. Never did I ever think posting my selfies through out the weight loss process would get me 20 thousand Instagram followers! But with your help I’ve learned to love my body and my journey ain’t over, I’m still going 😊💖

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I really don’t like Debby. Not because she is/was with Josh. I haven’t liked her since I started looking into her, after loving her on The Suite Life On Deck and Jessie.

I really don’t like how after she and Josh broke up, she posted screenshots of her texts with Camila, where she basically trashed Josh, saying all kinds of things, I truly believe isn’t in his nature at all.

But the main thing that really ticks me off about Debby is how she talks/tweets/snapchats/likes stuff to do with Josh then once people start asking about it and what not she does stuff like

It’s like dont give the ‘ugh, I’m so private, don’t talk about my love life/Josh and I, nothing’s happening’ act, when the whole reason people talk about it and what not is because she brings it up. I’m not saying they have to tell fans anything about their personal lives, but it she doesn’t want people knowing/ isn’t ready for people to know, why does she always bring or hint at stuff to do with Josh? 

l-aurora  asked:

Hi, so yesterday I ate a lot of food with nuts in it, which I rarely do, and I feel -and look- like I've just gained a ton of weight, and I'd just started seeing real progress in toning my body. So I'm just wondering if there's anything I can do, like drink a lot of water, to like "go back", or do I have to start over in losing this fat again..? I did have a week or two of not eating enough up to yesterday so that might be why it shows btw but... it's annoying. Thanks!


Its not healthy to try to correct for one bad meal, what is healthy is educating yourself on a lifetime of good meals.  Keep following the guidelines and increasing your ability to cook, eat out healthy & get ready for our next video that shows the power of empowerment.  

im sorry im really salty right now but i have to go on a gd rant bc im????

  • this fandom is so violently against thinking outside the lovesquare it’s crazy. go through every ship you can think of, count the amount of content in the tags for each, and then come back to me if you don’t believe me
  • like first off let’s start with the f/f ships
    • by far the most popular two are julerose and chlolya, a.k.a. ships that don’t include mari and don’t mess with the lovesquare
    • and before you pull the whole “oh but their dynamic is better”
    • chlonette and chlolya are both rivals to lovers ships in their simplest form. so why is chlolya more popular?
    • alyanette and julerose are both friends to lovers ships in their simplest form. so why is julerose more popular?
    • it takes clawing through alyanette, chlonette, lilanette, etc. tags to find content, meanwhile chlolya and julerose are everywhere bc they’re “safe ships”
  • m/m ships! 
    • this one’s even funnier bc mlm ships in this fandom are practically nonexistent
    • the most “popular” ones are adrinino and adrinath, but guess why you barely see content for them?
    • the only reason they’re more popular than kim/max is bc they either involve the main characters, or they involve nath (the only background character that people seem to give a shit about for reasons unknown????)
  • oh and it gets better bc let’s talk about het ships that don’t get any love
    • i’ve seen marinath used so damn often as a means to an end for lovesquare shippers. like if i had a dollar for every time i saw marinath used as a way for adrien to be jealous/confess his feelings, i could buy a fucking condo
    • nino x marinette? alya x adrien? no?
    • yeah. figured. kinda makes the lovesquare impossible, right?
  • the best part about this is that when you check which pairings get useless comments tagged on about ‘oh are you guys serious?’ ‘yeah but they’re just friends?’ ‘this pairing would never work’ and ‘x person loves y so they can’t possibly like z,’ do you know which ones you’ll see more often than not?
    • pairings that include adrien or marinette

im tired of seeing people be dismissive of alyanette, adrinino, and ninette. i’m tired of having to literally claw through the tags for chlonette or lilanette. im tired of seeing artists and writers get tens of thousands of notes on their lovesquare art and struggle to get 200 notes on art with pairings that disrupt the lovesquare. 

it’s disheartening. it’s annoying. it’s isolating. and it feels like a lot of people don’t even care so i guess im done


Okay, so I meant to post this yesterday but because of that last episode, I decided to wait because I’m still crying over here. Honestly, I’ve been in the mood to do something feelsy/mild angst in this fandom because it needs more of it tbh-,,, but it has a happy ending, so you guys can’t hate me too much, right? ( ;;; ω ;;; ) If you’re wondering what happened, Yuuri got into a serious car accident before the GPF and Viktor never left his side after his surgery.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be dying in the corner until the next episode releases.


ot4 things
  • group chat has to remind mari to eat/sleep/stretch if she’s been designing for too long
    • alya: hi mari this is your hourly reminder to fucking get up and stretch oh my god you’re probably crouched over that chair like a shut in go for a walk gdi
    • adrien: ok so…..i texted you four hours later…..like you told me…..i hope you’re eating. lunch is important.
    • nino: get some h2o up in that bitch or i swear to god dude
  • alya has to call a fucking intervention every time she loses more than ten ladyblog followers overnight
    • one day, just to fuck with her, the three of them all unfollow her the same day and she bursts into class screaming 
    • “we’re not mutuals anymore ????? who the fuck why the fuck ???”
  • when someone’s sick or having a bad day, adrien stops by their house and drops off little care packages bc he’s literally perfect
    • photocopied notes from class, homework, water bottles, snacks, medicine, candy, a get well card, you name it
    • alya takes pictures of all of them and keeps an album
    • mari keeps the cards in a scrapbook for her shitty days
    • nino cries almost every time he gets one
    • the three of them pitch in to do one for adrien when he’s sick but he somehow manages to outdo all three of them consistently
  • nino starts an instagram account that’s literally just videos of mari and chloe fighting. alya and adrien both help moderate it
    • mari has no idea it exists so like sometimes the three of them will be cackling over nino’s phone and try to cover up what they were doing when she walks by
    • she thinks she missed out on a meme or something
    • everyone in school follows it
  • they rabbit a new anime every week bc adrien just keeps finding new ones and he always says “no trust me they’re so good” and they can’t say no to that face, he’s so excited, literally how adrien
    • kid has a good taste in anime, so six hour binges on saturday night are at least entertaining 
    • yuri on ice left mari and nino crying and adrien recorded it for posterity
  • adrien and mari make gym days a thing on sundays bc for some reason they’re fitness freaks and when did that happen they’re also so ripped like how ? ?
    • mari and adrien go through the whole shebang: cardio weights, machines, stretching, you have it
    • alya just stays on the elliptical the whole time watching reality tv on the televisions above her
    • nino stays on his phone the whole time walking on the treadmill instead of actually running
    • adrien: they’re working up to it. 
    • mari: we’re going for a run next week. no technology allowed. 

As of lately, we’ve been losing FNAF fans who have officially either become interested, or have transferred over to a newer game interest. For some loyal fans, such as myself, it is heartbreaking to see another one go. However, if you can, please always let your followers know if you intend on staying in this fandom for a while! I sure am, for years and years to come. :)

Or you could feel free to reblog this post as well if you plan on staying for a long while!


“You look pleased with yourself,” I say.

“I’m pleased to meet you.” He puts his hand up to his glasses and takes hold of them as if he’s going to take them off, but he doesn’t. “That sounds very English, doesn’t it? I’m very pleased to meet you, Nathan.”

And instantly I’m pissed off.

so 2 months ago this happened

not only did i lose all gifs and graphics i’ve made for my anime blog and kpop side blog over the years but i also just hit 20k back then.. but guess what? 2 months later i finally got my 20k back! this is all thanks to my amazing mutuals and followers!! there’s no way i could do that alone! special thanks to @kimdaily @yoongsins @mewchim @yoonse0k @hwangsae @jeon-gguk @taeguk @mangaetteok @chimcheroo @jiminrolls @jjilljj @apgujeon @bangtanbanchan @chimchams @bfjoonie @sosjimin @jminies @yoongles @yoonminnie @mssuga @rapdaegu @holy-yoongi @tahyns @bwipsul @thekookiest @pjmsx @dearmyjimin @cyyphr @chokemejimin @ttaewo @jimiyoong

also i’d like to thank people who only knew me as kanekx/shiggeo/nickiforov and found and followed this blog even tho i didn’t really tell anyone about accidentally deleting ;; 

okay kat nobody even reads these just get to the point

Keep reading

FB Status from Jennifer Tiedt (bolding added by me): If you and I are friends, you probably know that last year I had an abortion. The pregnancy was wanted, it was planned, but it was not to be, because the embryo implanted in my cervix. If HB493 had been in place when I needed an abortion, instead of being able to access adequate abortion care PRIOR to by death being imminent, I would have been forced to wait until I was actively in danger of losing my life. Let me be clear: an untreated cervical ectopic means death. If you are against abortion, great, that’s your choice. But women all over the world who don’t agree with abortion still find themselves in situations where it’s literally their life on the line, and make decisions they could never have imagined prior to being in that situation.

I repeat: If HB493 is signed by Governor Kasich and implemented, women will die. Not “maybe,” not “possibly,” but WILL.

The following is the letter I sent to Governor Kasich earlier today. I encourage all of you to reach out to him as well.

Dear Governor Kasich,

I am requesting some guidance from you on an important issue.
Last year I experienced a cervical ectopic pregnancy. This happens when the embryo implants in the cervix rather than the uterus. It is very rare, but it still happened to me. It’s almost as though even rare complications still occur, even to people in Ohio.

A cervical pregnancy is extremely dangerous, due to the uterine artery passing through the cervix. When a fertilized egg implants, it works to develop a rich blood flow to sustain itself. Unfortunately, doing so right next to the uterine artery means devastating consequences: if the embryo detaches, one is at risk of hemorrhage, so if a cervical pregnancy is not found quickly, the woman can quickly become at risk for losing her fertility if they have to cauterize the uterine artery, losing her uterus if cauterization doesn’t work, and even death due to immense blood loss.

Thankfully, due to a routine visit, my cervical pregnancy was found at 7 weeks. The embryo had a heartbeat, which was the first thing I noticed. I was so happy to see that heartbeat following some spotting a couple days prior. My husband and I had a one year old son, and we had gotten pregnant our first month trying to give him a sibling. I had a moment of relief and wonder. Then the doctor told me what my untrained eyes couldn’t tell: that embryo with a beating heart was located in a place that made it unviable, and deadly. I had to go immediately to the hospital, where I stayed for seven days while they gave me methotrexate to try to and terminate, which was ultimately unsuccessful, forcing me to have a procedure done under general anesthesia where they used a microscopic needle to inject potassium chloride into the gestational sac, which was successful. This was necessary due to the age and development of the embryo, although less invasive procedures were tried first.

My abortion saved my life. I’d like to believe that if this happened again (which is a risk due to the fact that it happened to me previously) I would qualify for the quick and lifesaving care I received. But I don’t believe I would. My understanding is that HB493 makes no exception for the health of the mother, only the life. What statutes like this have been interpreted to mean in other areas is that until the life of the mother is truly at risk, not just potentially at risk, not just theoretically at risk, treatment is withheld. My life wasn’t “at risk” at the time I had my abortion, but that was the inevitable conclusion. Would I be forced to wait until I was hemorrhaging, bleeding out, before I could be treated? What treatment would I then be able to have? Nothing but a hysterectomy would have saved my life at that point. And I may or may not have survived the procedure at that point.

What advice can you give me to make sure the doctors aren’t afraid to save my life BEFORE I’m at that point? Why is there no exception for the health of the mother? How can I be sure I will not die if this happens again? Is your legislature so callous as to assume they don’t need to legislate for this kind of situation? Are you so callous as to not insist they make sure I am able to receive treatment that will preserve my fertility as well as my life? If you value life, why not mine? Why not all women’s lives? Why are women not allowed to make the decisions about their body that they feel are best? I assure you, I’ve talked to many women who have had abortions in all kinds of circumstances, and none of them came to the decision easily or without regret.

Please think of the women in Ohio who will die if you vote this legislation into law. Please think of the millions that will be wasted trying to defend this unconstitutional and invasive legislation in court. Please think of my son, who would have missed his mother if I had died due to my cervical pregnancy. Please think of the future children I hope to have, and am able to have, because I was able to access lifesaving treatment in time to preserve my fertility. Please think of us. We are depending on you and your judgement. Please don’t let us die to score political points.

Advice To Signs
  • Aquarius: Don't be afraid. Don't hold yourself back.
  • Pisces: Remember what reality is, don't lose yourself to something that's not really there.
  • Aries: It's okay to let your guard down and just cry.
  • Taurus: You are the strongest person I know, never give up.
  • Gemini: Somebody loves you, and somebody cares about you.
  • Cancer: Sensitivity isn't a weakness, make sure you don't bottle up your emotions.
  • Leo: Sometimes your too generous, that's why you get trodden over.
  • Virgo: Sometimes you're wrong. And that's okay.
  • Libra: You are wanted by someone special.
  • Scorpio: You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders.
  • Sagittarius: Follow your heart, but make sure your brain is with you.
  • Capricorn: It's okay if your not the best at everything. Do the best you can do, that's all anyone could ask of you.
His eyes were galaxies; a mixture of sorrowful blue, wanderlust purple and altruistic red, followed by the many shades of colours and emotions I had not yet deciphered. But every star loses its shine and dies over time. And so I watched, helplessly, as one by one the glitter in his eyes faded, snatching his love for me and moulding it into something else; leaving me with two brown rings outlining black holes in his, now, expressionless stare.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1139 // @infxxnity

why do all white guys lose their shit over Memento and make you watch it and be all like “are you following it okay? its a lot to follow I know” like the movie’s not that complicated or even that good keep your pants on


Hi old friends! Remember me? I was wondering how many of my followers are still on, starting up, or are interested in weight loss? Like or re-blog this if so! I’m getting my blog together to talk about the picture that grabbed me a lot of positive AND negative attention (top photo from years ago). The second photo is me today. I will also be talking about my ups and downs since then and how I’ve finally learned to lose the weight and keep it off! Also, how my life has overall changed. I am so excited to share it with you!

Head over to my Instagram @parisritchie to be updated on my life, love, and travels.. I’ll soon be sharing a lot of my routine on there! Also I’d love to see what you’re all up to or to get a look at your regimens.. and keep an eye out for my first blog and post coming up this week! I’ve been working on this for a while and drawing up a “how to” guide for what worked for me. I’ll be looking forward to what you all think!

Thank you to all of those on here who have always been so kind. Also, send me updates on your progress or struggles. I want to hear. Talk soon, loves!

I don’t care if I lose followers over this but if you voted for or support Donald Trump, unfollow this blog. This is a safe space for all hufflepuffs, gryffindors, slytherins and ravenclaws, no matter what race, religion, sexuality, gender or nationality

RIP to my old blog. Deleted one year ago today with 112k followers. Lots of love to the people who followed me over here—I thought I was gonna lose all my internet friends! But I didn’t. My followers possess fine taste and a devastating sexual allure. My followers are LEADERS. My followers always smell of honeysuckle and brighten the days of all they encounter. 

Me with my everything
or Maybe me with my curse
or maybe me with my desease
from which i have been suffering
maybe i have been dragged into this for reasons unknown yet or maybe i didnt follow my dreams or maybe I do not have a dream or maybe this is all i have dream for,
Moslty we all dream of something but not live life in pursuit of it. Hence it’s as if we are stuck in a chain which is hard to break. Our thoughts drift to “i wish i could”…. and in the end all that ends up happening is we cross over and lose all the things for which we sacrificed our lifetime and money… our dreams…. why not start living in pursuit of our dreams? Take this life as a journey and make it beautiful and adventurous. Struggle for our dream… because only through those struggles do we get chance to explore ourselves and find ourselves.
I’d like to ask, how many of you out there are living in pursuit of your dreams? And if you are not, what is stopping you from doing so? Reply with your comments to these questions


anonymous asked:

Follow up to the MC being on vacation thing...what if the MC just stops texting/calling for 2 weeks to a month and then suddenly starts to after said period of time?

LOL i feel like if MC went MIA for even over 2 days each member would lose their shit, what precious children


  • he gets antsy after the first few days, but he doesn’t full out panic yet
  • maybe it’s taking you a while to settle down back home
  • after one week is when he starts anxiously chatting zen about your lack of contact
  • poor zen tries his best to calm yoosung down, but none of it’s working
  • 2 weeks later this boy’s a nervous wreck, and ends up going to seven’s place to demand he figure out where you are and make sure you’re okay
  • seven’s totally exhausted from working, but he says he’ll take some time to look when he’s free
  • “no seven, do it now”
  • “yoosung, if i don’t finish this assignment from the agency by tonight, i won’t be alive to help you”
  • “she could be in danger!”
  • “okay… hold on i already know where she is”
  • “WHAT? WHERE?”
  • “….on earth”
  • “SEVEN this is SERIOUS”
  • decides he’ll go find you himself, even if he has to take a plane all the way across the world
  • zen kindly reminds him that he doesn’t even know where you live
  • he don’t care, he’ll just fly everywhere do you even have a plane yoosung
  • good thing you call around then, and i swear he nearly snapped his phone in half trying to answer it
  • he’s so frantic until he hears you apologizing repeatedly about not contacting him for so long
  • something happened with your phone, and it needed to be sent in for repairs and so you had no access to the chat/calls
  • yoosung starts crying (out of relief) and the rest of the call is just you frantically trying to get him to calm down while he goes on and on between sobs about how glad he is to hear your voice


  • it’s only been 3 days and he’s already lost his mind
  • he can’t even focus on practicing lines or dances because he’s so worried
  • did you get lost on the way back? are you alright??? 
  • even worse did a guy try to snatch you away?????
  • jaehee starts to get a tad worried when she notices he isn’t even taking care of himself properly cause he keeps trying to call your phone or text you
  • after a week of him just lying in bed with his phone, she’s ready to call a therapist
  • then to her shock, he calls her asking if he could talk to jumin
  • “jumin, i have a favor”
  • “you’re asking a favor from me?”
  • “…yes, i know it’s strange.”
  • “it’s very strange.”
  • “whatever, i need a plane. or anything that’ll fly me abroad.”
  • “for a vacation? or an acting offer?”
  • “no, i’m gonna look for her”
  • “…. you don’t know where she lives”
  • “that’s my problem”
  • “well, this sounds like it would be a poor investment on my behalf, so i refuse”
  • cue another saltfest between zen and jumin
  • suddenly, another call’s coming through on zen’s phone and he notices it’s your contact name
  • bye jumin 
  • jk he doesn’t even say goodbye, zen just hangs up mid-sentence and answers your call
  • immediately bombards you with questions about your well-being and where she’d been
  • you laugh apologetically and start to explain, but he doesn’t even hear what you’re saying
  • he just feels like an immense weight was lifted off your chest once you started talking
  • you two end up conversing well into the night just catching up and sweet talking each other


  • she doesn’t deny the hint of worry she felt after the first couple of days without you calling or messaging
  • she tells herself not to jump to conclusions, though
  • distracts herself by working in the hopes that it’ll pass the time faster until you finally contact her again
  • alas, it’s been one week to no avail
  • it bothers her to the point that she starts mixing up meetings and not preparing materials for a briefing
  • jumin’s like “someone fix my assistant” and he gives her the rest of the day off so she can get it together
  • now she’s distressed cause she’s messing up during work
  • so she watches some Zen DVDs to calm down
  • in the middle of her marathon, a call comes in
  • she immediately shuts her TV off and answers within milliseconds
  • never has she felt so happy to hear your voice
  • so glad she wasn’t at work so she could talk to you thanks mr. han


  • jumin’s still not used to this phenomenon called Emotionsso he doesn’t know how to deal with this sudden onset of worry when he stops getting calls/texts from you for 2 days
  • staring at his phone 24/7 to the point that jaehee has to quietly remind him that he’s in a meeting and it’s rude to not pay attention 
  • unfortunately for jaehee he keeps DOING it
  • she lowkey mentions it in the chatroom messenger with the other members
  • and zen goes “what happened to ‘killing your emotions’ in order to focus on work, jumin??”
  • jumin’s not amused, but he’s too focused on trying to figure out why you suddenly cut off contact with him
  • declares a self-holiday so that he can determine your location or at least ensure your safety
  • jaehee’s thinking fml more work for me and says “i understand your concerns, mr han, but i’m sure she’s safe. there must be a reasonable explanation as to why she has yet to reach out to you”
  • “… so you’re saying i have to go find her myself”
  • “that is not what i was trying to say at all”
  • real talk ready to bribe seven with a new racing car so that he’d get a general idea of what area you could be in - or even better, a specific address
  • before jaehee comes dashing in the room saying your phone’s ringing, and it’s you calling
  • can’t stop the grin from growing on his face when he hears your voice
  • “-min, jumin! are you there?? hello?”
  • “where are you?”
  • “…home?”
  • “no your exact location. i’m coming to visit you”
  • “what”
  • “message me your address”
  • “jumin it hasn’t even been a week”
  • “i’ll see you soon”
  • nonetheless it’s a cute reunion but you send him back soon before jaehee internally combusts from the stress (also promising again that you’d let him know any other way if something happened to your phone in the future)


  • okay this boy panicked when he didn’t see you for 7 minutes, god knows what’ll happen if you go MIA for over a day
  • will literally hack every server he needs to figure out where your phone is
  • he traces the source somewhere abroad, but he still has no idea why you’re not responding
  • for a terrible terrible moment he thinks you’ve already forgotten about him and moved on
  • he refuses to believe that though, and goes on a nonstop rampage trying to make sure nothing bad happened to you
  • seriously, you’d think he was a serial stalker if you walked into his room while he was trying to find you
  • he’s scrolling through CCTV feeds, airplane flight logs, city maps, GPS tracking
  • when the phone rings, he almost ignores it because he thinks it’s from work or anyone else
  • but when he glances and sees your name he almost knocks over his entire set up diving for the phone
  • “…seven?”
  • are you okay?! where are you?!”
  • “i’m fine, don’t worry! i just needed to set up a data plan before i could call or message y– speaking of which, how did you manage to call me over 70 times and send over 50 texts in the span of a day?!”
  • “i couldn’t find youuuu T____T my genius hacking skills were buffering in the face of panic”
  • “don’t worry, you found me~ i love you, seven!”
  • womp, he blue-screens the second he hears that last sentence
J/C as Exes AU Part Nine: Only If For A Night

Well, after the amazing comments I got about the last chapter, I just couldn’t help myself and dove in to chapter 9. I started talking to @thescarlettpeacock and brainstorming ideas and then well… She got hit by the bus of inspiration. So at least 90% of this chapter is her amazing work. So please please stop by her page and tell her how amazing she’s done. I’m posting it here so that it’s easy to find for those of you who are following it. But most of the credit really belongs to @thescarlettpeacock

And an eternal thank you, yet again, to my amazing chief editor @akb723 for her astounding work in making this thing actually make sense. And for putting up with not one but two authors for this chapter.

Catch up on previous chapters HERE

“And the only solution was to stand and fight, and my body was losing all the satellites. But you came over me, like some holy life. I know the whole story, you’re the only light.”

- Florence & the Machine ‘Only If For A Night’

Jamie knew he had not gotten enough sleep, even after a dreamless sleep he craved a continued oblivion. As he woke, wiping the sleep from his eyes, Jamie realised at once he wasn’t in his own bed. He was lying on someone’s lap, head cushioned by a pillow, with an arm wrapped around him. She was still here, and by the heaviness of her slender arm, deep into her sleep.

Jamie stirred gently in an attempt to sit himself up, not knowing exactly how long Claire had slept for. As he lifted her arm from his chest, she woke suddenly.

“Jamie-” She paused, voice laden with exhaustion and worry. “Are you okay?”

“Feel like I’ve been run o’er by a draught horse.” He sat himself up and rolled his shoulders while she stretched her arms in the air.

“I imagine that’s to be expected,” she yawned, covering her mouth with a numb hand.

He found he couldn’t bring himself to look at her yet; instead he stared down at his hands, picking at the fabric of his couch. There was a part of him that had been exposed the evening before, a person that Claire hadn’t ever seen before. Amidst the fear and the panic of the previous night, she had sworn as he dozed in and out of consciousness that she would be there in the morning. Could she keep that vow? Would she still see the frightened, cowering man or the man she had woken up to mere days ago?

Without thought, the words had slipped from his mouth. “Yer still here.”

She placed her small hand over his, steadying it from his nervous picking. “I am. I promised I would be.”

Jamie gazed up at Claire, her dark eyes heavy and rimmed with redness against her skin. “Have ye no’ slept at all, Sassenach?”

“A little,” she said with a small shake of her head, hesitating briefly. “I was too worried about you.”

“I thought…”

Cool fingers combed gently through his hair, sending waves of calm through his body.

“Thought what, Jamie?”

“That ye were a dream. Or that ye’d be gone before I woke.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice catching in her throat. “I’m not running anymore. I’m here for you through all of it, Jamie.”

“That’s good,” he said.

With a heavy sigh, he stood up from the couch, stretching his arms and twisting his back, various joints popping. Had he really been curled so tightly around her all night?

“What would you like for breakfast?”

“I’m no’ sure I have much to eat here.”

“You don’t-” Claire hesitated again, as if carefully selecting her words before she finished her sentence. “-but I’ve got food back in my flat if you’d like to come over?”

“Aye, I think that would…” he looked around a moment, the echoes of torturous visions haunting the corners of his flat. “That would be a good thing. I canna be here just yet.”

Claire too stretched and got up. He helped her fix the sheets and fold the mattress back into the couch.

“Jamie, I-” she stopped, looking away from him. He waited patiently for her to get her thoughts in order.

“I… I know it’s a little sudden, and you’re welcome to say no. But… If you’re comfortable with it,  you can come stay with me for a little while.”

The offer hung in the air, heavy between them. It wasn’t a small thing she’d suggested, even if
it was for a short while. Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea. Having her near always helped ground him, or it had in the months since they’d restarted their relationship. And now she’d seen him in his worst possible state; surely they could make it work?

“I have a spare room you can stay in, if that would be easier for you. I’m just afraid to leave you alone right now.”

“Aye. Ian came and stayed wi’ me the last time.”

She looked around his flat dubiously. “If you’d rather stay here, I could-”

“No, Sassenach. Though I appreciate ye considering it. I think… If ye really dinna mind it, I think I’d like to stay wi’ you.” Tentatively, he reached for her, feeling absurdly shy about the gesture. Her cheek was soft against his hand, her eyes closing slowly as she leaned into his touch. Then she placed her hand over his, and turned her face to kiss his palm.

“Alright. Let’s pack your bag then, shall we?” Claire began to walk away from him, eager to get back to her apartment, Jamie however reached for her hand once more, confidence growing.

“Aye. An’… Thank ye, Claire. For staying.” His voice was small, filled with a gratitude she knew she could barely fathom.

She stopped on her way to his bedroom and came back over to him. “I promise you, Jamie -“ Claire stepped back toward him, their bodies flush and her eyes filled with sincerity, “I’m not walking away again. Not now, not ever.” Claire leant forward and gathered him into her arms, embracing him with a fierceness of loving. A sudden desire to kiss him, hard  fell over her. She wanted to reassure him that she did love him still, though she knew it was an impulse she could not act on. Instead, she placed a small kiss onto his jaw, brief but tender.

A moment fell between them, of acceptance and adoration for the other. Both knew that had the  circumstances been different, their desire would win and tenderly they’d fall into an oblivion, but exhaustion and the ghosts of fear hung overhead  instead. It was not the time, not yet.

“I treated you terribly and I’m so sorry. But I’m not running anymore. I’m here for you no matter what. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

“Thank you.”

Pulling his head down, she kissed him gently on his forehead and disappeared into his room. Even after sleeping hard, he was still exhausted. It had taken a few days to fully recover after the last episode. Jamie made to leave for his room, but Claire held out a hand in protest.

“I’ll get everything, just you wait here. It won’t take me long.” She smiled at him, lovingly.

Unable to resist, he smirked at her. “Ye still ken where everything is?”

A soft, musical laugh came from her as she moved about his flat. “You’re a creature of habit, James Fraser. Some things will never change.”

With that, Claire disappeared into the depths of his bedroom, leaving Jamie contemplating the impending change of scenery. What seemed like only a moment had passed before Claire reappeared with a weekend bag - one she had bought him years previously for their anniversary. Jamie hadn’t thought about the day she’d given it to him for an age. He’d come over to her apartment, entering the living room as she scurried off into another room. There sat a large white box on her couch with a piece of paper on top, scrawled with his name. He’d shouted for her, and she’d walked into the room wearing a huge smile on her face and wishing him happy anniversary. Jamie had opened the box with excited curiosity, finding the bag inside. “I thought maybe you’d like it, you know, in case we ever manage to take a little holiday.” He’d started to laugh and removed a folded envelope from his jeans pocket, presenting her with an email for a long weekend on Skye.

They’d talked about marriage that night. Kids, the dogs… A home together… of his home, waiting for them. Jamie shook his head, the images flashing before his eyes. He remembered those nights and days, the whispers and the excited promises. He couldn’t remember those, night right now. The irony was not lost on him, and he imagined it wasn’t lost on her either.  

“Shall we?” Her tone was hopeful and bright. She wanted him in the fresh air and away from the blanket of shadows hanging overhead like cobwebs.


He took her hand and followed her out. The simple touch of her hand in his felt like an anchor, keeping him in the present and not letting him drift out into the murky waters of his memories.


It had been a short drive to her apartment, neither particularly speaking to the other. She had pulled into the car park, he’d removed his bag and they had entered the building in silence. For now, all they needed to talk about had been said. Now was the time for contemplation, to understand the choice they had both made and how it would carry them forward. Separately and together.

Jamie remembered the flat like he’d lived there his entire life. He knew where the mugs were kept, where she stored her shoes and even where she kept the clean bedding. Her spare room, once dubbed “the shit hole”, now held a comfortable bed, a wardrobe and a large drawer unit. The room was almost flooded with light from the large window sitting tothe left of the bed, there was also  a lamp that helped illuminate areas that  the sun was unable to reach t on a small side table.

She had cooked as he had unpacked, everything he would need was neatly stored in his bag – even going as far as to bring his slippers. When Claire had finished, she called him into the kitchen;  an almost double sized portion of scrambled eggs and toast sat next to a steaming cup of tea.

“Thought you might be as hungry as I am.” She grinned, putting down a bottle of tomato sauce. He’d pulled out his chair, sat down and taken a mouth full before muttering out words Claire hadn’t heard in a very long time.

“Claire Beauchamp, I will never find another like you.”


The rest of the day had continued on as if the events of the last year, and last night hadn’t happened. She had sat checking her work, making calls to the hospital while  he had read and tried intermittently to sleep. He woke  now to her singing along to the radio as she cleaned the dishes he’d offered to tidy.

Shuffling from the bedroom, he’d appeared behind her and an overwhelming need to wrap his arms around her midriff and kiss her neck flashed over him. Memories of their history flashed before him in succession; kisses by the sink, torn clothes across tables and lying together… He shook his head.

“You missed your physical therapy appointment,” Claire said suddenly over her shoulder, noticing his reappearance.

“Did I? I dinna ken what day it is, Sassenach - let alone the appointments I have.”

“You did. That’s how I came to look for you. Your physical therapist called me, said I was the emergency contact number in your file.”

He turned away from her, attempting to hide his face. If he’d had full control of his faculties, he could have put on the mask that he’d been able to use most of his life when he wanted hide what he was thinking or feeling. As it was, he didn’t have the capacity for it just yet. “Oh… ah… Weel…” he stopped, the fingers on his damaged hand tapping wildly on his thigh. “Aye. I didna change it… I meant to, after we… I didna have the heart. Though I didna think he’d ever call ye.”

“I’m glad he did. Jamie… I want to apologise, properly. For leaving you, for not being supportive… I just… You deserve better than that and I-“

He interrupted her sharply, his knuckles biting against his flesh and he made a fist. “Sassenach – Claire please stop blaming yourself! It wasn’t –“

“But it was!”

The air between them thickened with tension as words of frustration flooded from their mouths and minds. Though, neither blamed the other, not really.

“I thought ye’d be gone, Claire. That ye didna want me anymore! I was afraid!”

“And I did that to you! I want you to say something, anything! Shout! Call me names if you must!”

Jamie stood, his chest heaving, Claire mirroring his movements. They both knew this wasn’t the right time to be fighting, for this discussion to make it to the forefront already.

“I want you, I want you so much I can scarcely breathe. I made you think that I didn’t want you,  that for the first time since we met, you weren’t everything in the world to me, James Fraser! And all I can do is apologise and promise not to go!”

He stood silent, truly shocked at her admission. She was equally shocked and relieved to have finally spoken the words, she was terrified that it was all far too much and entirely too soon. Time passed silently between them, each second longer than the last. Finally, Jamie spoke.

“What happens the next time ye get scairt?”

“I’ll be right here, guarding your weak side.” She said firmly, her eyes staring into his. “If either of us are afraid, we tell the other. We have to if we’re going to survive – together as one.”

Silence cut like a sharp blade, their hearts a bleeding wound. All cards on the table, admissions made. Jamie found himself replying, answering with a warm feeling flooding his limbs, right into the core of his chest.

“‘Til our life shall be done.”