Dating Kai Parker would include:

• lots of sex

• him being really confused by his feelings for you

• “why does my stomach feel weird each time i see y/n”

• make up sex would be indescribable

• sex in general with him would be amazing

• a lot of teasing

• “you look beautiful, y/n”

• him always wanting to cook for you

• random presents all the time

• “kai, be nice”

• cuddles from behind

• “tell me again why i can’t kill them, babe?”

• him always wanting to cook for you

• puppy dog eyed kai when you’re angry at him

• him complaining about delena 24/7

• him somehow using his magic to please you in more ways than one

• flirting all the goddamn time

• him tweeting about you and then damon making fun of him

• him calling you babe ashdkdjdnx

• “goodmorning, beautiful” with a sleepy voice 

• you having to teach him about technology and stuff

• hickies everywhere

• Kai making sure the gang knows how good he pleased you the night before

• his cologne would be that cologne that every single hot guy wears. yoU KNOW WHICH ONE IM TALKING ABOUT

• stealing his t-shirts

• you buying him plaid shirts bC WHO WOULDNT WANT TO SEE KAI GODDAMN PARKER IN ONE

• did i already say great sex?

• hand holding whenever he can

• long tight hugs

• cuddling up on the couch watching tv

• “let’s go out and do something”

• jealous kai would be asjxjdjsnxkc

• the gang questioning why you’re dating him and you getting angry at them bc they can’t see that he’s a precious little buttercup that can turn into a sex god in 0.3 seconds

• “they’re just so gross, i want to puke.”

• “if he looks at you like that again, i will literally lit him on fire”

• him making you listen to the 90′s music

• kai asking damon for dating advice

• kai fucking parker, everyone. 

I had the nicest weekend! I drove down to Bristol yesterday and J took me out for pizza (smoked salmon and mascopone, so delicious) and then we set off to Dorset. Arrived at the cutest little bnb ever, got ready and went to the wedding. It was the coolest wedding I’ve ever been to, there were fire eaters, burlesque dancers, a rock band and a hog roast. We had lots of drinks and cake and I met lots of nice new people and it was lovely!!

This morning we got up and the couple at the bnb brought us the nicest breakfast! Then we went back to Bristol, watched telly, J cooked an amazing dinner, and we went to see Inside Out (cutest movie ever). Now I’m home and I just want to replay the whole weekend, it was perfect.

How have I convinced such an excellent man to date me!? He makes me laugh all day long and everything is so easy and comfortable with him. Ahhhhh I’ll shut up now

True story

My ex told me “I would never marry a woman that can’t cook”.. I was like “I don’t wanna marry a man that has a hairline 20 years older than him, but we can’t always have what we want” and that was the end of our relationship *shrugs* I thought he knew about his hairline deficiency lol

mornings with michael would include

•rolling over on top of you so you wouldn’t be able to get up

•running your fingers through his hair

•whining about how tired he still is

•mumbling with his eyes still closed

•kissing him all over his face to get him to open his eyes while he just giggles

•"princess, I love you. But can you please make me breakfast.“

•him pressing on your boob and saying "honk honk” hA

•laughing at his bed hair

•you telling him “i love you”

•"say that again"

•taking an hour for him to really wake up

•"I still want you to make me breakfast.“

•leaning on your back while you cook and ends up falling asleep standing up with his head on your shoulder

•watching him play video games while you eat breakfast

•laughing when he loses

•"you still love me, right babe?”

•"Yes Michael, I still love you.“

•"I love you too.”

•belting out random songs together while getting ready

•brushing your teeth together

•watching him practice his guitar solos

•overall mornings with Michael would be the best because he’s just so lovely and you love each other and aHH

"She Cooks Too"

Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. I’ve been working a lot this summer and have been super busy. BUT this tayvin drought it killing me, so here’s a little thing. Enjoy.

Taylor stood outside in her shorts and button down blue shirt. She swivled her hips to the music as she grilled. Calvin wanted to help with dinner but she refused to let him tonight. He watched her from inside as he got the plates out to set the table. Tomorrow, July 3rd, people would be arriving for their 4th of July bash. But for now it was just them. He smiled as he wondered to himself how he got so lucky. The woman before him had everything any man would want in a woman. She was smart as all hell, funny, kind hearted, a little wild at times, talented, successful, and she cooks too. He knew he was lucky. He knew she was a rare find. The girls he dated before never cooked, ever. They had people cook for them, they went to the fanciest restaurants, but they never cooked for him. And he never minded. It wasn’t a requirement for him, he liked simple foods anyways. But for some reason he loved the way she cooked for him. He wondered how it was that the most famous woman he’s ever dated, the most high profile woman in the world….was also the most down to earth. No house keepers, no personal chefs, she did it all on her own. She found so much joy in doing simple things, like cooking. And the excitement it brought her made him laugh. She loved cooking for them and then waiting to see his reaction like a wide eyed child. He headed towards the back door with love clouding his brain. He had his phone ready as he slide open the back sliding door. Right as her head turned he snapped the picture.

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Grilled Cheese (swazz)

| Requested by kmsmorgan: idk if you do swazz imagines but if you do could you write one where you both are hanging out with the guys and you guys keep kissing and cuddling and the guys tell you to get a room or something 💞


“Sup guys!” I yelled as I walked in John’s house. The boys greeted me back and I found my boyfriend in the kitchen making… whatever kind of creature that was. “Hello.” I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

“Hey babe.” I stood on my toes to quickly kiss him and I smiled at him. “Hungry?”

“Depends on what you’re… cooking? Cooking is it?” I teased him. Swazz was never someone who was a good cooker.

“Ha-ha.” He rolled his eyes and I kissed his jaw. “I’m making grilled cheese. Want some?”

“Oh, so that’s what it is…” He sighed out of annoyance and I chuckled. “No thank you, baby.” I walked back to the living room and found four guys screaming over GTA V.

“Quickie that fast?” Sam commented as he saw me sit next to him.

“I’m good, aren’t I?” I teased. He smirked and I shook my head.

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anonymous asked:

My sister's (now ex) boyfriend got her to cook his meals everyday, which she didn't want to do because she hates cooking and works multiple jobs, but he was very intimidating and threatening about it. He also wouldn't let her talk to any of her male friends or me (even though I'm her brother 0.o) I linked her to this blog and the next day dumped him. This morning he called her while crying, and she just put the phone down without hanging up, put her music on and celebrated. Was great.

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

When It’s Only Me and You

Song: Just the Way You Look Tonight- Frank Sinatra.  

Warm arms wrapped around my waist, a sloppy kiss being pressed to my cheek as I continued cutting the onions I was preparing for dinner.  It was a quiet Friday night in, and while that usually meant takeout and a movie, Harry suggested it would be fun to cook.  I was busy making a pasta with chicken and Harry decided he was going to make a cobbler for dessert.

I smiled, wrinkling my nose. “You’re distracting me.” I hummed, but secretly didn’t want him to move.  

He tightened his arms and I could feel him smile against my neck. “Sorry.  You just look so sexy in that apron.”

I giggled, setting the knife down and turning around so I could kiss him properly.

“I try.”

He kissed me once more, my bottom lip tucked between his before he pulled away, making a face.

He ran the pads of his thumbs under my eyes, catching the tears that had formed due to the onions.

“Wow. I knew I was a good kisser, but you don’t need to cry.”

I shoved him just playfully as he smirked, walking to the other side of the counter.

“Those were the onions you goof.  You’re just alright.”

“Heeyyy,” he whined.

I winked at him before turning back to the onions.  I finished cutting up the vegetables I was preparing for the sauce and set them aside, moving onto the chicken.  We had the radio turned on to an oldies station, and every once in a while I could hear Harry humming along.  

I looked over at Harry and smiled at his cute, concentrated face.  His brows were puckered and his lips were pursed as he continued to roll out the dough.  His hair was pulled up into a bun, a few pieces escaping, tickling his neck, and he was wearing a soft black jumper with the sleeves rolled up.  He looked unbelievingly comfy.

He caught me looking at him and grinned back.

“How’s it going over there?”

I put the chicken in the pan, turning the stove on.

“Good. How’s your cobbler coming along?”

He bit his lip in concentration, carefully lifting the dough from the counter into the pan.

“Pretty well. Can you hand me the peaches, Peaches?”  I rolled my eyes and pushed the jars closer to him as he giggled at his own joke.

“What? I had to.”

A few minutes later Harry finished the cobbler and put in the oven.  I had the chicken done and had the water boiling for pasta as I moved onto making the sauce.

I heard Harry gasp behind me as he turned the radio up.  I could hear him behind me, singing along to the song, his rocky voice filling up the kitchen.

“Someday, when I’m awfully low.”

His hands gripped my hips as he spun me around, into his chest. His eyes were bright and he had on that lopsided smirk that made my insides melt.


“When the world is cold.  I will feel a glow just thinking of you.”

I laughed as he spun me under his arm, pulling me into a dip. He sang the last line of the song against my mouth, his voice vibrating against my lips, causing me to giggle.

“And the way you look, tonight.”

We were both laughing as he pulled me back up, our arms wrapping around each other.

Harry nuzzled his face in my neck as we swayed around the kitchen in time with the music.  

Too soon the timer for the pie went off and I reluctantly pulled away.  

Harry cupped my face in his hands and leaned in, kissing me deep and slow.

I sighed, pulling the elastic from his hair so it fell, curtaining his face.  I tangled it through my hands, both of us trying to catch our breath as his lips moved to my neck.

I hummed, bringing his lips back up to mine, kissing him softly. “Aren’t you a charmer tonight?”

He laughed breathily, kissing the tip of my nose.  “Just for you, beautiful.”

He stepped away, and bent down to take out the cobbler.  

I beamed shamelessly and went back to making dinner.


“Hey Harry, will you try this?”

“Of course.”

I scooped some sauce from the pan and spooned it into his mouth.

I stuck it in his mouth sooner than he was ready for, causing a dribble of sauce to run down the front of his shirt.  

He pulled at his sweater looking down at it and frowning. “This is my favorite sweater.”

He looked back up at me with a glint in his eye, reaching over and pinching some of the leftover flour that was sitting on the counter.  

“Harry, what are you doing?”

He smirked as he lifted his hand, aiming it at me.

I took a step back, lifting my hands.

“Harry don’t, it was an accid-”

Before I could finish speaking, he flicked his fingers, shooting the flour onto my face.

I wiped my eyes and gawked at him as he brushed his hands, looking very pleased with himself.  

I turned and reached for some flour, cupping it in my hand and bringing it up to my mouth, blowing it all over Harry.  

He gasped, looking down at his, now white, sweater and laughed looking back up at me.

“Oh no.”

I turned to run around the other side of the counter, but he moved quick.  

He scooped me up in his arms, and I shrieked, trying to maneuver out of his grip.

I was laughing too hard so my attempt to get away was pointless.

He grabbed another handful of flour and smeared it all over my face and hair.

We were both a mess and laughing hysterically, making a complete disaster of the kitchen.  I saw the leftover bowl of cobbler filling on the counter and reached for it.

“Oh no you don’t”

Harry bent down, wrapping his arms around my knees and threw me over his shoulder.

I cackled and gripped the bottom of his shirt as he carried me back around the counter.

He set me down, backing me up against the counters, kissing me again.

He pulled away and laughed, brushing away some of the flour from my cheeks.

“You’re just not playing fair tonight.”


He grabbed the can of whipped cream that was sitting on the counter and sprayed a trail of it across my neck.


He leaned in and began licking it off, nipping and kissing my skin as he went.

He pulled away chuckling, licking the cream off his lips.

“Ya know,”  He said shaking the can, “We could have some real fun with this.”

I scoffed, my eyes scanning over the mess we had made of the kitchen.

“I think we’ve had enough fun for tonight. And what about dinner?”

He ran his palms across my bum, gripping my thighs and lifting me up on the counter, settling himself between my legs.

I tangled my hands back in his hair as he peppered kisses across my chest and jawline.

“Let it burn.”

I opened my mouth to protest as he pressed a kiss to my pulse point, making me moan.

“Mmm, alright.  You win.”

He smiled, victoriously against my neck before bringing his lips up to meet mine. 

sugalouis asked:

Sterek +13 please?

13. things you said at the kitchen table

“This is great,” Stiles says, surveying the loft. “Very pretty.”

It better be pretty. Derek had gotten Scott to help him set everything up for their date night, from the new drapes to cover the wall of windows to the candles to the rose petals leading upstairs—Scott had pulled a face at that one, saying he didn’t even want to think about what they had planned.

“I picked up some Chinese food,” Derek says, gesturing to where everything is laid out.

“Aw, you spared me your cooking,” Stiles coos. “You really do love me.”

Derek shoots him a glare and Stiles laughs, before both sitting down to eat.

They talk for a while, Stiles going on about his new teaching job and Derek about how the betas are doing, since Stiles has been too busy to hang out much lately.

After a while, Derek asks, “So, how do you like eating at a real kitchen table?”

Stiles has been bothering him for, oh, maybe four months to buy one for the loft. Derek was perfectly content to eat dinner on the couch, letting his plate sit on the coffee table, but Stiles deemed that uncivil. Whatever. 

“It’s nice,” Stiles says around a mouthful of chicken. “Now, if only you had a kitchen.”

J: Hey Taehyung, what are u doing?

V: y/n is coming over today, so I want to make her some cookies!

J: Oh, but why is Jungkook here?

V: I don’t know how to make cookies so I asked Jungkook how he was made

JK: hyung help me please

V: stop whining and just spill it! I know u know the recipe!!

JK: I told u Suga hyung hasn’t given me the talk yet!

V: stop lying!! Suga hyung doesn’t know anything about cooking!

J: Holy fuck, u have to be kidding me I didn’t sign up for this shit… Namjoon is coming home at five bother him, I’m going back to the spa.


JK: but hyung…

J: these fucking kids I swear to god *mumbles while packing his pink limited edition gold studded Gucci bag*

Chain letter email #134

A man owned a small farm in Maine. The Maine State Wage & Hour Department, claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.

“Well,” replied the farmer, “There’s my farm hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board. Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to – the half-wit,” says the agent.

“That would be me,” replied the farmer.

This one is for your mother, who had a beautiful name. I never told you, but I wanted our first daughter to be named after her. She was a woman of spoken dreams and hidden truths. I wanted her soft hands, because she made you with them. I wanted her arms around me teaching me to cook tradition and clean patriotically. I know, she misses her homeland, crying culture and counting the geography. She called me a good girl, and I got drunk on wine made of honey.
—  Excerpt from the poem His Family by Royla Asghar

Seeing those pics of Neymar makes me think of how much mama Nadine probably fed him over his holiday, mumbling about how her boy needs to eat and how she was sure he missed her cooking and idk, I like how Neymar’s stomach looks soft and how his cheeks are little rounder. After the COPA america, I just wanted him to enjoy his holiday and from the number of pics and by his appearance, he looks like he did.

Surprise Parties

Requests: Can you do one where Reid gets jealous of the time you spend with Rossi cause you have a “thing” for older guys but in all reality he’s helping you plan Reid birthday party?

Could you write when Spencer and Reader are dating then they had a big fight and then end up fluffy? Thanks

A/N: I hope that you like it! :)

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Come To Daddy -Baekhyun

Anon: Can you do daddy baek plzzzz

Anon 2: I’m having baek daddy feels !!! 😇

A/N: not sure which daddy baek you meant so this is the smutty version. Leave feedback!!

Saturday’s were Baekhyun’s only off day so it was only natural that he decided to spend it spoiling his baby girl. You woke up to the smell of pancakes and rushed to the kitchen to see Baekhyun cooking for you.

You snuck behind him and wrapped your arms around his middle from behind. “Is this for me, daddy?” You asked cutely. Baek knew pancakes were your favorite breakfast and since you had been a good girl the entire week he decided to spoil you.

“Of course, baby girl. I don’t want you to get burned so why don’t you go sit at the table.” It wasn’t really a question but you decided to test how nice your daddy was going to be with you.

You nuzzled your face into his back and hummed. “Can’t I help you, daddy? I’m a big girl.” Baekhyun always worries for you, being such the clumsy girl you are. His eyebrows scrunched together and he pulled your arms from around his waist.

“That wasn’t a question. Go sit or you’ll be getting a punishment for not listening.” You pouted cutely and stomped towards the table. Baekhyun hated when you gave him an attitude and you knew you would pay for it.

Once Baekhyun had finished cooking, he placed a plate of pancakes in front of you and sat down.He started to cut up the pancakes for you, not trusting you to use a knife.

You were still upset about him not letting you help so you decided to give him the silent treatment.

You were still frowning and Baekhyun paused his cutting you rub your cheeks with his knuckles. “What’s wrong, baby girl?” You didn’t answer, knowing how much he hated that but you hated when daddy would tell you no so you didn’t care.

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrowed and he decided to repeat himself. You contemplated answering and knew you would be in too much trouble to handle if you didn’t answer him again.

“I’m mad at you.” You huffed and crossed your arms.

“Why?” Baekhyun’s voice came out more stern than you were ready for. “You won’t let me do big girl things like help you cook.” Baekhyun sat back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair.

“You want to do big girl things, kitten?” You nodded.

“Do you think daddy doesn’t know what best for you?” His question caught you off guard and you knew daddy was madder than he appeared.

Baekhyun pushed his chair back and tapped his fingers on the table. You knew you were going to be punished but you didn’t suspect it would come so soon.

“Come to daddy and get on your knees, baby girl.” You didn’t hesitate to follow his command and you rested your head against his lap. He usually went easy on you if you acted cute.

Baekhyun ran his fingers through your hair and let out a deep breath through his nose. “How many do you think you’ve earned?” You whimpered as his hand fisted your hair to make you look up at him. His eyes were tinted with lust and you felt it in the pit of your stomach.

“15?” You breathed.

“Only 15, baby girl? You gave daddy an attitude and you don’t trust daddy to take care of you. I think that earns you at least 30.” You whined when he patted his lap for you to lay across.

You placed your body carefully over his knees and he pulled your pajama shorts and panties down to expose your bare ass. He let out a groan from his throat at the sight. He rubbed gently over your ass until you felt safe enough to relax. That was when he landed the first blow. A small yelp fell from your lips and Baekhyun rubbed the reddening skin until he placed another blow to the other cheek. Those actions kept repeating until he has finished counting and tears were pricking at your eyes.

He guided you to sit up and he placed a gentle kiss onto your lips that you easily returned. When the kiss was broken he wiped to tears threatening to glide down your cheeks. “I’m sorry, daddy.” You sniffled. “I’ll be a good girl.” Baekhyun stood up and placed a kiss to your forehead.

“Do you want to finish your pancakes now or later?” Every time you got a spanking from daddy he had to show you that you were still his beloved baby girl. “Later.” You needed to feel your daddy’s hands all over you to make you feel better.

Once you entered the room Baekhyun guided you to the bed and dropped to his knees, placing soft kisses to the skin he had abused before prompting you to lay down on you back.

He rid you of the rest of your clothes then himself. He lowered himself to place kisses over your face before trailing down your neck to your chest.

He tapped your inner thigh for you to spread them and you did. Daddy’s hands were so warm and soft that his gentle rubs up your leg were causing you to let out quiet mewls.

He slowly started inching closer and closer to your heat with each rub until he finally slid his finger up the slit, causing you to moan at the contact.

He entered one finger to warm you up as he bit small marks onto your chest. Daddy loved to mark his territory.

You were more than ready to take him inside of you but Baekhyun was in no rush.

He slid another finger into you and began to scissor your hole open. Soft moans were beginning to fill the room and Baekhyun was growing painfully hard at the anticipation.

After a short time of fingering and marking you, Baekhyun sat up and lined himself up to your entrance before sliding in.

He quickly found a steady rhythm to thrust himself and have you moaning loudly under him. He had trained your body to be extremely sensitive to his touch.

It took no time at all for you to feel your climax spark through your body and begin shuddering. Baekhyun sped up the pace to ride out your orgasm and reach his own and soon enough his thrust became sporadic and uneven.

He pulled out of you and rolled over to your side. You leaned over and rested your head onto his chest as he began rubbing small circled onto your shoulder.

“Daddy loves you, baby girl, you know that.” You nodded against his sweaty skin. “I don’t like punishing you so you have to be a good girl.” You hummed, “Okay daddy,” at his words and slowly drifted into a steady sleep as Baekhyun turned on the tv to watch until you woke up and could eat breakfast.

He ate me out then asked if he could give me a backrub.

This dude is fantastic.

I don’t know how to talk about what we’re doing or if we want to establish a relationship because I’m pretty damn awful at dating and my psychological episodes tend to get in the way but I like him and I want to be with him in the sense that we’d support each other emotionally.

I really don’t romanticize relationships. I’m not looking for love. Just a partner. Something mutually beneficial.

Seriously though. Loves putting his hands all over me. Loves takin’ care of my needs. Likes introducing me to new things like camping and baseball and movies I haven’t seen. Cooks for me! Laughs at all my jokes. Reminds me to take baby steps when I get anxious. Kisses me in public when I smile or laugh because he just can’t help it.


This is pretty great.