Who're You Calling Pipsqueak?
Who're You Calling Pipsqueak?

Contains: Edward Elric short rants read off by Yuri Plisetsky, what more can you ask for tbh

Yuri, basically, is short. If he was as extra as Edward Elric, then he would probably say a few things along these lines. 

A/N: This was funnier in my head I swear. Basically I had the idea at three in the morning and it left me giggling and I wanted to see how it’d turn out, and I’d say not too bad. I hope you guys enjoy it and that it makes you chuckle at least, thank you for listening!

COMMISSION INFO || PROFILE PIC ARTIST

Let’s Be More Than Friends (uke chords and lyrics)

@shima-draws hi im that anon because im really scared to talk to people

sorry this took so long, but here’s the finished product from my hands. you can change anything you don’t like. ummm, i love your song and I’m prolly gonna cover it soonnnnnn. heere you gooo

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I Have No Idea But Here...

He couldn’t breathe. All the oxygen had been sucked from the room and the little that had occupied his lungs, sat frozen as his fingers clenched the phone in his hand. He felt his hand shaking, making the letters etched across the digital screen hard to read, despite having read the message several times. He tried sucking in a harsh breath but all that came out was a small strangled choking noise that caused Yuuri to glance up from his magazine a few feet away.
“Yurio?” Yuuri asked softly, setting his magazine down on the coffee table gently, his eyes now fixated on the pale teenager. Yurio clenched the phone harder in his hand until he was sure the glass was going to break. He shook his head gently, clenching his other hand, feeling his fingernails digging into the scrapped flesh of his palm. He felt something wet coating his fingers, realizing he was probably bleeding, having opened old wounds. He coughed loudly, trying to force airless oxygen into his deprived lungs, finding it difficult to concentrate, finding it difficult to swallow past the lump forming in his throat. He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder and he flinched, jumping from the couch as the world suddenly came back into a blurred vibrant focus.
He gripped the phone tighter in his hand, shoving it back in his pocket as it vibrated again.  He didn’t have time for this. He couldn’t have time for this. Not now. He stared at Yuuri’s face, concern and worry etched across his face, and Yurio felt tears welling in his eyes as angered frustration clawed at his chest. He needed to leave. He needed to get away from Yuuri and Viktor. He needed to be alone. He looked over at his bag lying haphazardly on the ground next to the couch, and walked over to it stiffly, picking it up, his hand still clutching his phone tightly. The edge of the phone was beginning to dig into his flesh, and Yurio shoved his shoes on his feet harshly as the message flashed across his mind again. He let out a strangled breath, biting his lip harshly, willing the tears that threatened to swell in his eyes to stop from spilling over their tired rims.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Yuuri make a move to stand and turned quickly towards the older skater, “I’m going to the rink.” He winced as the words left his mouth harshly, and let his hand hover over the doorknob slightly, drowning out Yuuri’s endless yammering. He knew Yuuri was worried, but he couldn’t listen to him talk right now. He couldn’t listen to anyone right now. He needed to be alone. Otherwise…
“Yurio? Let me come with you-” Yuuri said softly, searching for his shoes. Yurio shook his head quickly, feeling his phone vibrate again as another message reached the small device. “Nyet! I’m- I’m going alone,” He spat. He unclenched his hand from the phone in his pocket and looked down to see the impression engraved deeply across his already raw flesh, blood was beginning to flow to the surface of the cut and Yurio clenched his hand into a fist, letting his fingernails dig into the exposed flesh; letting himself feel the pain. He needed to feel the pain. He needed to feel something, anything- anything besides the hurt and anger that flooded his mind, anything besides the pain clawing at his heart.
His phone vibrated again and Yurio ripped the door open harshly, biting his lip once more as Yuuri asked if he was okay. He sucked in a sharp breath, feeling the world around him closing in on him, knowing he didn’t have long… he needed to get away… he needed to be alone before he lost it. He slammed the door behind him loudly, pressing his back against the wooden door, slamming his head against the door, and pulled his phone from his pocket roughly. He let out a shaky breath and stared at the message painted across the tiny bright screen as tears swelled in his eyes, dripping down his face. 

       -Hi baby. It’s mom. I want to see you! Love you Yuri!

Yurio wiped roughly at the tears that spilled down his face, unclenching his fist, watching the dark red drip down his fingers, seeping under his fingernails. He sucked in another shaky breath, running a hand through his blonde hair, not really caring if blood was now streaked through his blonde locks. He pushed himself away from the door gently, pushing the phone back into his pocket, and started walking towards the ice rink as Yuuri’s question echoed through his head. Was he okay? No. No. He wasn’t okay. In fact, he was far from okay. He was fucking drowning.

Masterlist

An updated one for the nice anon!

Headcanons:
Pregnant
Spa Day
Halloween
Coming Out as Bi
Endearment Terms

All the Dream Stuff I Wrote (Because Apparently I Hava a Thing for That):
Sweet Dreams
Nightmare
Loving Nightmares

These are Short:
Burning Jealousy
Cold Memories
Make Me A Future
Silver Braids
Chemistry
Gross Misunderstandings
Confession

These are Not (They're Long-ish):
A Maximoff Christmas
Confined
Die To Save You
Catastrophe
Hurt For Fun

This One Is Long:
Angel With A Shotgun

These Have Trigger Warnings, Proceed With Caution:
Till Death Do Us Part - Cancer
We Don’t Have To Talk - Abuse/Assault
Drowning - Abuse/Assault