I SWEAR TO GOD

*every destiel fic ever*
  • Dean: I'm so straight
  • Dean: such a ladies man. so many girls. look, boobs
  • Dean: a big hetero hello to all of you
  • Sam: *rolls eyes*
  • Castiel: *enters scene*
  • Dean: ohhh look at them eyes, look at them lips. hot damn
  • Dean: I'm not gay. what kind of sorcery?
  • Castiel: *glances at Dean*
  • Dean: *cheeks turn red*
  • Castiel: *approaches Dean*
  • Dean: *internal existential crisis*
  • Castiel: "hello"
  • Dean: *ends up being such a needy bottom*

This has to do with coffee. 

I promise. 

Just bear with me. 

*deep breath*

I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT WE ARE HAVING TO HAVE THE NATIONAL CONVERSATION THAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING!

Stop. Full. fucking. STOP! entertaining the notion that Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are equally noxious candidates. 

I fucking get it. Clinton doesn’t mark every box on your absurd checklist of ideological purity. She thinks every world problem has an american solution. She’s got money and she’s got friends with money. She’s an unapologetic capitalist. She’s a master at making political sausage and all the ugliness that tends to go with it. 

So fucking what? 

DONALD GODDAMNED TRUMP, Fuckface von Clownstick himself, is her opponent. This dude carries endorsements from actual nazis and the muthafuckin KKK. He’s got goddamned animatronic fuckwaffles at his rallies assaulting black people and threatening the media. 

This bloviating turd storm is threatening to jail his political rival and use the power of the government to litigate against his detractors. If he loses? The election was rigged by his crooked opponent and well, theres some second amendment solutions to that. 

This is an authoritarian wet dream.

But hey man, Clintons just as bad because she deleted emails?

Fuck you.

I aint even tryin to be polite about this anymore. If your heads were any farther up your asses, we’d need to replace your abs with a window so you could see where you were going. 

Clinton is a talented, capable, intelligent and experienced politician. She’s thoughtful and patient. And if nothing else, her emails (if you actually read them) point to a woman who genuinely cares about doing whats right for this country and its citizens. Does her vision of whats right differ from yours? Sure. But she’s provided ample evidence that she’ll listen to, consider and consult with experts when your vision and her vision come to odds. 

Trump? That tumescent, bilious vomit sack (and the people he would empower and validate should he win) poses a real and present danger to everyone in this country who isnt a white christian male. And he doesn’t fucking care. 

So spare us the goddamned pity party and/or the smug appeal to political reductionism. 

“but you said this was about coffee!”

I lied. But hey, global warming is going to destroy the coffee supply and Trump still thinks its a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese to ruin our economy. So there’s that. 

So get off your ass and vote Clinton. 

Because if you dont, when Trump has folks goose stepping on the whitehouse lawn, you dont get to a part of my super cool underground resistance movement. 

We’ll have sweet leather jackets. 

And coffee. 

things i didn't sign up for
  • stay alive reprise 
  • its quiet uptown 
  • the world was wide enough 
  • who lives, who dies, who tells your story 
Me, an age regressor: I dunno I’m just stressed and my head is always spinning and sometimes I just need to relax and act like a child, ya know? I don’t really want to identify with a community because all the drama is just so confusing. I’m just a kiddo, I like toys and bugs and paw patrol-

Anti: Got it. K1nk.

I was looking for Russian names and found out that Georgi and Yuri are both variation of the name George and come from the same root, so technically there are three (3) Yuris in Yuri on ice and I’m so done with this show