I STARTED LAUGHING AT THIS AND THIS CAME TO MIND

Animal Crossing AU where everything is the same but Commander Peepers is your secretary. 

“kiritsugu taught me more than how to drive a car,” irisviel says. “he taught me how to live. and how to survive!” her wires flash as they fly around her. “and he taught me… how to yodel.” kirei gasps as it takes the shade of a beautifully realistic goat. the major accessory to yodeling. now the set ups are complete. iri gives maiya once glance, and she understands. using the last of her remaining strength, she stands up. and the two of them, united through the knowledge kiritsugu imparted upon them both, yodel. they yodel like they’ve never yodeled before. overwhelmed, with tears in his eyes, kirei runs, runs far, far away and never comes back. it’s just too much for him.

When I was 11 I had this pair of black boots and I loved them so much. One lunchtime I was out in the playground and one of my friends started calling them my ‘emoboots’ I thought it was funny and we had a laugh about it (I wasn’t really informed in what an emo was but never mind) Fast forward a couple of weeks and calling my boots ‘emo’ had progressed into me being called an ‘emo’ So the girl that had first started the whole thing came up to me and said “hey soon you’ll be slitting your wrists cause that’s what emo’s do!“ And then she started laughing! I didn’t find it very funny because I thought slitting your wrists meant killing yourself and I was extremely confused. Looking back on it now I realise that an 11 year old was telling me, another 11 year old that I’d probably start slitting my wrists. We were fucking 11.

So this is in no way a reflection of my views on Batman V Superman, I just find this amusing. 

At work tonight the entire store was in a roar over the Star Wars trailer, they were all talking about how much they loved it and how their minds were blown.

Then an hour later someone said to me “Yeah man, I just had my mind blown by this trailer I just saw.”

Me: “Star Wars?”

Customer: “No man, Batman Vs Superman”

Me: “Whoa, it came out?”

“Customer: “Yeah… and it sucked.”

Me: “Really?”

And then suddenly random customers all over the store started popping up, poking their heads over the back issue bins like gophers or out of corners like guest on Laugh In and going “Yeah man, it stinks.” “Ugh.” “Does not look good.”

And I just couldn’t get over everyone there had seen it but nobody wanted to be the first person to stand up and say what they thought but the moment someone did, the floodgates just opened up. I don’t know why but that made me laugh.

bigdiccdomi asked:

Idgaf I keep it real wit these hoes nigga

You know what? I was really ready to just say some ignorant stuff then I sat back and decided my followers deserve more than that. 

Let me take the time to truly expose this fellow 

ABOUT A day ago I got a mention from bemorelovely about yet another thirsty nigga in her ask box. She’s a really stunning person so I wasn’t surprised but she assured me that this one was exceptional 

Not gonna lie. When i first saw this i laughed. This man was truly bold. He spoke his mind. I’m not one to hate the player, but bemorelovely came back and told me that this sad excuse of a man had posted her avi on his blog as well.

I creep my way through his porn filled blog and guess what I saw guys

This man really did post her avi AND tagged her in it. But wait there’s more! this fuckboy started taking dick pics and tagged her and another female in there as well.  I was taken aback by this complete disregard for human decency. 

SO when I reblogged that particular ask message I did my best to make light of the situation for my friend because I’m sure she was already disgusted. I thought this fool was behind the both of us. I thought wrong.

Yesterday morning I decided to check my ask box to see if I have received any love. Do you know who I see? This Coon of all people saying and I quote

“Idgaf I keep it real wit these hoes nigga”

Again I laughed. This limp dick, no pussy gettin bum had found his way to my asks. I’m getting ready to go in when I accidentally click on his blog and see that YET AGAIN he had posted my friends avi but thus time with a new caption

 It was at this moment I knew it was time for me to show my true colors.

I never go into a battle unprepared so of course I go and discover what his fellow looks like. AND. It. BEGAN.

Y’ALL THIS UGLY ASS, NEVER SEEN A BOTTLE OF VASELINE A DAY IN HIS LIFE ASS NIGGA THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO CLAPBACK

TELL ME WHY THIS NIGGA LOOK LIKE THE LOVE CHILD OF JA RULE AND JAY Z.

ITS LIKE KEVIN GATES IMPREGNATED ONE OF HIS COUSINS AND YOU CAME OUT AS A RESULT

THIS NIGGA’S FACE LOOKS LIKE BAD MUSIC HE LOOK LIKE HOW IT WOULD SOUND IF IGGY EVER DID A TRACK WITH SOULJA BOY

WHY IT FEEL LIKE YOUR LIPS BOUT TO CRACK AND SPRAY MORE BLOOD THAN A GIRL 3 WEEKS LATE ON HER PERIOD

AYE TELL ME WHY I DONT KNOW A DAM THING ABOUT YOU BUT I KNOW BOTH YOUR PARENTS DISAPPOINTED AS FUCK RIGHT NOW

WHO ELSE GET THE FEELING HE MASTURBATE TO LATE NIGHT HBO PORN THEN CRY HIMSELF TO SLEEP.

HIS FACE  AROSE AND SAID YOU KNOW WHAT IMMA MAKE IT MY LIFES GOAL TO MAKE SURE THIS NIGGA SINGLE TILL HELL FREEZES OVER.


moral of the story guys: dont come on tumblr with foolishness like this and think its okay. you’ll mess around catch some real heat that you dont wanna read

Thomas (Gibson). It’s usually Thomas. Everybody is sort of silly. Matthew … I’d say Thomas. The other day, we had to take this big end of the year photo. Everybody. Every department. Hundreds of people were all in the bullpen. Everybody.

We’re all there, and my boss gets up, and she goes, “Okay guys. Actually I have something to tell you. The network wants us to do another episode. Everybody starts whispering, “What?” Then Thomas yelled angrily, “What!” And he storms off. We’re thinking, “What’s going on?” Then I remembered at that moment, it was April Fool’s Day. Thomas came back in, and everybody was laughing. That guy does a lot of kooky things.

Onion is yellow diamond [DEBUNKED]

now here’s my response too the whole yellow diamond is onion. Now at first I thought it was some big joke for laughs but then slowly began to realize it was an actual theory

Now I didn’t pay no mind to it ya know let people have there fun

Then jailbreak came out. At the moment when jasper says “yellow diamond needs to see this” depicting yellow diamond IS STILL HERE AND IS STILL ALIVE!

now the whole onion theory still went around and again…it was cool…but I didn’t get too into it.

They the newest episode “story for Steven” aired and then people started saying vidalia was yellow diamond

Now….here’s were I have to say….thats impossible… It really is cause
If vidalia was yellow diamond and her first child was sour-cream….like Steven rose had to give herself up in order for Steven to be born…so if she was a gem..sour-cream would be her only son and onion would never existed

And thats impossible because both do exsist and yellow diamond is confirmed to still be ALIVE

I’m sorry I just really need to get that out of my system

anonymous asked:

How about a scenario where Bokuto and Kuroo are on a first date with their crush and they have a cute little confession scene that goes totally wrong xD

LOL OMG xD

KUROO was sure it would work, it had to. He bought you flowers, lent you his arm as you guys walked through the city, treated you to dinner, made you laugh and smile, and now it was time for the finale. “Hey _____, I have something to tell you.” You stopped in your tracks and looked at him with a curious glance. “Hm, what is it?” 

Kuroo opened his mouth once more to speak but no words came out, his mind was going blank the minute he looked into your eyes. “I, uh, you know, I happen to really like—” He didn’t even get the chance to finish what he had started when the front door to your house opened, revealing your father glaring at the two of you. 

“Sorry Kuroo! How about you tell me on our next date?” You gave him a wink and a quick peck on the cheek as you rushed to get inside your house. With one last wave from you, you disappeared from his sight as the door closed. He groaned a little once the realization hit him. Next time, he’ll make sure to not attempt to confess to you in front of your house.

BOKUTO was sweating bullets as you two were in line to get on the ferris wheel. He usually isn’t the type to get nervous over anything, but as he waits with you by his side, he can’t help but feel like he’d throw up any minute. “—kuto? Bokuto? Are you alright? It’s our turn to get on.”

“O-oh is that so? Sorry, I must have been day dreaming,” Bokuto said, laughing it off. You flashed him the same smile he grew to adore and Bokuto was starting to feel anxious again. As he helped you get on, he sat across from you and kept counting off the seconds until you two were at the top. Well, it’s now or never, Bokuto. “_____? I like you, and I was wondering if you wanted to go out?”

Silence filled the cart and Bokuto waited anxiously for your answer. He even had his eyes shut, scared of what the outcome would be but there was no reply. “…_____?” You jumped a bit and looked to Bokuto with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, were you saying something? I was a little distracted by the view…”

More silence filled the cart and by the time the ride had ended, a loud voice could be heard from somewhere near the bushes. “HEY BOKUTO, DID YOU CONFESS TO _____ YET?” You whipped your head towards Bokuto with red cheeks matching his own. Of all times, Kuroo had the worse timing.

Stuck babysitting the actual fuckin’ five year olds…

So…that thing I said I was trying to finish before the NSFW ask? This is it.

This idea came about when I was reading chapter 4 of Two Eds and an Ex-con. To summarize VERY briefly, Bro’s come home and is hanging out with Seth and Lucas. Eddy got a cake to celebrate and the trio proceeded to get drunk and have a food fight with the cake. Because why not?

The reason I bring that up is because, as I’m reading this, the first thought that came to mind was ‘holy shit, Edd’s basically stuck babysitting a bunch of actual fuckin’ five year olds. (because Eddy’s not around too much and won’t be for a while, it seems.)’

And then this image came to mind and I started laughing.

So…if I may make one thing clear. This is not meant to show what Bro, Seth, and Lucas actually looked like as young children within this fanon. This is more from Edd’s perspective, how he’s viewing these little brats - hence why Bro has his hat and plaid shirt and why Seth’s hair is darker than what it naturally would be.

And some of this stuff IS taken from that chapter. Such as Lucas being a big fat bubble-blowin’ baby about Matthew getting cake on his shirt. I went pretty literal with that. The thing with Seth…imagining him as lil kid, the idea of him drawing on his arm with markers just kinda…happened. Cuz I thought it was cute and, y’know, he’s the tattoo artist and all that. I thought it was adorable. And it IS Edd’s house so…no shoes, please.

That’s…pretty much it. I had to get it down on paper because it made me giggle a lot just thinking about it.

I will get to the NSFW prolly sometime next week cuz I’m devoting the little time this weekend that I WON’T be at work to finishing my final project for my anthropology class that I have to present next Tuesday.

lucario-theaurapokemon asked:

What usually gives you inspiration?

When i first started tumblr i was appealing to everything that moved and then i got a jerk because i got 100 followers in less of a month, at that point i beleved i was Tumblr famous, but a couple of days later i realized it wasnt that so i lost hope, but then i re started drawing and vectorizing, mde redscarflucario just because i was bored and all this ideas came to my mind from thin air, but after a while i just started losing that, adter i made a huge hiatus i started receiving messages from people that were interested on the blog a lot, telling me that i made them laugh, that i made them feel happy, that just because they saw my art they were inspired to keep going on and improving, my followers keep me inspired because when i receive feedback from them of whatever i can improve or if the update was cool or comical or made them feel something possitive that helps me keep going also the people from the pokemon ask community are so welcoming and lovely, but you know you are doing something that is worth to improve when people start thanking you just for being there for them, answering gracious questions, sharing feelings and doing art, I started as a DICK and only interested on being admired, but i kinda grew mature when people really start looking up to you…

And that is some of the most inspiring and uplifting feelings from them all

I was tagged by hawkeblocke​! Thank you.

Birthday: November 5th ‘96

Gender: wonderfully handsome cis female

Sexual Orientation: the worst heterosexual

Height: 5′10″

Time and Date: 21:35 08/04/2015

Favorite Colour: reds and dark green

Average Hours Sleep: it ranges from ‘I haven’t seen a bed in a week’ to ‘I have opened my eyes once today’.

Lucky Number: 4, and then because I like things in fours my second lucky number is 16.

Last Thing I Googled: worlds’ largest dildo… for references I swear. It came up with porn and my search was unfruitful. (I just wanted to know srsly jesus. Actually, it was because I wanted to see how big it was and if it would actually fit inside a person, and then I had this horrible idea and I couldn’t stop laughing so I had to look it up.)

First word that comes to mind: Snart

How many blankets I sleep under: I start with a duvet and this normally ends in me sleeping on the floor and hugging a pillow.

One place that makes me happy: my desk. It’s a mess and nothing gets done there, but I love it.

What I’m wearing now: my big blue sleeping shirt and my fucking skull boxers hell yeah buddy.

Favorite Fictional Character: Vincent Law from Ergo Proxy. He’s a small scared baby god child with a bad haircut and a cool coat and I love him.

Favorite Book: ‘The Angel’s Game’ by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. I will promote this book forever it’s my all-time favourite and I’ve read it upwards of three hundred times. Seriously. It’s beautiful and crazy and dumb and awesome and everything you will ever want in a book. I’m in love with it.

Last movie I saw at the cinema: Kingsman: The Secret Service. It’s great.

Last book I read: I’m currently reading ‘Room’ by Emma Donoghue. I’ve read it a few times but it’s so sad and horrible and totally worth a read. The book before that was ‘The Burning’ by Jane Casey, because I like crime novels too much.

Favourite drink: watered-down apple and mango juice, or sparkling water.

Favourite food: Greasy Chinese takeaway any day. I don’t care what, I’ll eat it.

Dream Vacation: I’m not sure. I think I’d just like to go somewhere alone and just meet people and just not know anyone for a while. I’d like that.  

Dream wedding: I turn up dressed as Barney the Dinosaur and flip off the guests, eat the cake, steal the rings, kiss the hot groom, and drive off in a bright red Ferrari with £10,000 worth of jewellery. This isn’t my wedding. I gate-crashed. Surprise, fuckers.

Dream Job: I’d love to do something with English, but honestly it’s such a pain to get into, and my chances of getting into uni the way I am is pretty slim. I’m not even sure what I’d do. Probably a professional spoilsport, so maybe a columnist or critic would suit.

I’m going to tag the last few people that reblogged from me. homofaggins, sadisticknives, imothenerdfighter, meganfails, jehaanprouvaire.

You don’t have to do this, obviously. And if I haven’t tagged you but you want to take part, go ahead C:

Today was one of those days where I felt like playing music in the car and dad let me. So we jammed to OLDCODEX, GRANRODEO, Mamo, theme songs from Free!, kpop, and other anime weeb-ness. It was fun. I also started laughing at how speed in Japanese sounds like speedo and then I told my dad the whole speedo glasses thing from Free! and he cracked up. Then I was telling him about Knk (because the theme came on) and how the main character basically has a glasses fetish which is cool because REPRESENT and he was like “Oh is that the speedo glasses guy then??” I LOST IT!!!

Care Package Submission

Give me a quick introduction: I’m Maddy, and I started playing ACNL the first day it came out (June 9th) but I took a long break and I’m recently starting to play again ^ ^

Favorite color: Red!

Desired dream villager: I have a friend who helped me get my favorite villagers, so I don’t need one :)

Favorite flower: 

Favorite meme: Not sure if this counts, but the “Sure Jan” gif that went around awhile ago. I just laugh every time I see that gif on my dash

If you could have a superpower what would it be and why: Mind reading! I have some bad anxiety, and I’m always worried about what other people think about me so I’ve always felt that mind reading would help a lot. Plus, it would just be cool!

FC: 3668-7927-6770

Town mayor and name: Maddy of Juniper

oddeyesight asked:

NOOOO SHISHITOOO!!

You don’t understand, how much I laughed - literally laughed, as in hyena cackling - when Puella Magica came out, because in my head? Shishito = Madoka.

TO TOOK A WHILE FOR THE ASSOCIATION TO BREAK ENOUGH THAT I WOULD NOT CRACK UP LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT ANYTHING MADOKA RELATED.

But yes, baby.

Baby, no.

[The rest of the asks are under a read more, because they’re awesome but spoilery and I do want to answer them all.]

Keep reading

My friend came and stayed at my house for spring break, and the one night we had three of our friends come over to hang out and we all smoked. And let me tell you man we had at least 7 or 8 blunts just to the five of us. 

Anyway at one point we were all fighting over chicken bites. Like really fighting (mind you at this point we only went through like five blunts) so whatever. 

Later that night they left and it was only me and my friend and we decided to order that cheese steak pizza from Papa johns and the guy already knew my name and address. And after the pizza delivery guy came I was so happy and I just laughed like the entire time I was getting the pizza and for some reason I was so happy I started to dance and I didn’t realize it but I apparently twerked and everything . He laughed so hard and I never loved papa johns and weed more then that night in my entire life

The “Silly” thoughts

Lately I’ve been watching “The Crazy One’s” on Netflix… I have to be honest, I can’t get through too much of it before I turn it off. Not because it’s not good, but because it is good and every time I laugh I start to cry.

I keep thinking “I can’t believe I’ll never see a new Robin Williams movie or TV show ever again” it blows my mind. On some level I completely understand why Robin Williams did what he did, on another I can’t understand at all. We’ll never know what was going through his mind.

The loss of Robin Williams came shortly after the much greater and much more personal loss of my cousin last year… which only made things worse. Two men who I never knew well enough that made the world happy smile and laugh… it’s so hard to believe they are gone.

There are things I think about these two events all the time that seem down right silly. The best one though about Robin Williams that my Aunt (and my Cousin’s Aunt as well) keeps saying is “Awe Robin, I know you didn’t know me, but if only you’d have called me! If only you had listened to the millions of people who loved you.”

When it comes to my cousin the “silly thoughts” are much darker. I remember saying to my boss at the time “My cousin was so full of life! Everyone loved him, he climbed mountains, he built snowboards, he had a wife, a sister, and a mother who adored him… he should have lived. I deserved to live more than I do.” I’m not saying I deserve to die, I’m not saying that at all. But if the world were fair it wouldn’t have been him. It would have been the junkie who hit him. The totem pole of life and death fairness he should have been at the top (the living), I’d be pretty damn close to the top, and junkie who hit him would be at the bottom.

This quote from House says it all “Lonely Misanthropic Drug Addicts Should Die in […] Crashes and Young Do Gooders in Love [..] Should Walk Away Clean” He and his wife should have walked away clean.

But then again Robin William’s was a drug addict at many points in his life… but he didn’t hurt anyone… that I know of at least… and what happened to him, he did to himself. 

I’m not sure, my mind has been spinning for days, weeks, or months… round and round. So who knows…

so on Monday(I think) we were supposed to be reading and I had a sort of replica of the Journal that my brother’s gonna use for Halloween and my teacher picked it up and started looking at it(while I was trying so hard not to laugh) and she said “this kid has an evil mind” and I told her that it wasn’t from me it was from a TV show and she replied with “uh-huh,sure” so the kids in my class know me by now and someone yelled “I’s a show about the illuminati!” and I yelled at him THEN THE WHOLE CLASS YELLED AT ME

eventually my teacher came to the conclusion that I was going to take over the world…

ismell-larry asked:

first of all, forgive my bad english, it's not my first lenguaje, second, it's happening again, today it happened twice, the first time i was in school listening to music and suddenly that "And they did." came to my mind and i almost started to cry in front of everyone and now i was lied in my bed and it happened again and omg i need a moment. i have already told you in wattpad but it seems like i'll never be able to get over fetus like neVER I SERIOUSLY NEED HELP GOD I STARTED CRYING AGAIN

I’m laughing but in a sad way. It’s funny but it’s not. I understand that Fetus has destroyed many dreams, mine included. I always wrote it listening to sad music and crying softly so I guess a lot of that despair leaked in the story line. Sorry!