I HAVE A LOT OF MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS

ninapedia  asked:

Your old adorable dnd pattern is gone from weejapeeja! Are you going to make the new one in cute colors? I was all set to by the cute pastel one.

I had a lot of mixed feelings about the old pattern! Not only did it have a beholder in it (which I learned wotc is very aggressive about) but I just didn’t feel like it was a well made pattern. I liked various elements of it but they didn’t add up well. So I made a new one! I might make some color variants in the future, but for now there’s only one color available. http://www.weejapeeja.com/product/dd-by-maya-kern/

(I’ll eventually be getting this pattern on journals, skirts, and other things in my own store as well)

so my birthday is June 27th and I decided to treat myself with a ps4 + mass effect andromeda. I know it’s not the 27th yet, but I didn’t wanna wait anymore. I have to work next week and I wanted to get the ps4 while I’m home.

I’m really excited to play andromeda now! I’m going into this game completely blind, so I have no idea what I’m getting myself into. and I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about this game or don’t like it at all, so I’m really curious if I end up liking this game! 
and I also wonder who I end up romancing..my bet right now is either on Jaal or Vetra. we’ll see~ 

Binged pretty badly last night

It was mostly my safe snacks, at least?? Minus the couple handfuls of cheez-its and the chips and salsa (but the chips were the baked kind at least???)
But I had baked lays, mini rice cakes, chocolate animal crackers (low fat from Trader Joe’s), Capri sun…. a lot of it… all immediately after I ate dinner…. lol I’m honestly still pretty full….

But I have mixed feelings about it! On one hand, I’m kinda freaking out because I feel like I’ve been mini-binging all week and then I weighed myself the other day and gained and then this happened, so I feel like I’m losing control and part of me wants to restrict.
I’m not going to restrict, though. Yesterday I was sooooo fucking hungry and miserable and after binging I felt… happier? like my body finally got the nutrients it was lacking (which caused the binge in the first place)

So instead of restricting I’m going to go on today like the binge didn’t happen and try my best to eat my normal foods, as if it were any other day. I at least got in a good cardio workout yesterday, and I will do the same again today. And I will hopefully not binge… luckily for now I feel like I kind of got it out of my system? So I’m feeling hopeful. Dinner time is always the hardest part of the day for me, though. Gonna try to stay strong!

I’m also kinda freaking out about it all because tomorrow I’m going to Cracker Barrel with my dad for breakfast. I will obviously opt for healthier choices, but the portion size is what makes it all so bad. I’m hoping it will keep me full through dinner though.

Anyways, I’m pmsing and I feel like this shit always happens while I’m pmsing and I freak out every single time but it always ends up okay. After all, in march for my birthday I went to my moms and ate fried chicken/mashed potatoes/the works and then two days later had Korean BBQ for my roommates bday. And I was pmsing then too. And guess what? I bounced back.
Trying to tell myself this isn’t the first or last time I’m gonna binge hard, feel huge, gain, etc. My body will handle it and I’ll be fine…

Anyways… Hope you guys are doing well lol 🍓🍓🍓

anonymous asked:

What's YOUR opinion on the Noah's? Idk. I feel like I'm a mixed bag. I love Road and Mikk but hate Jasdevi and lulubell. When the fandom was smaller I never really thought about the Noah much but I feel I under rated them for a long time. Idk I just want other opinions. AA Anon

I don’t have any special, intense affection for any of them (that’s reserved for Allen, Lenalee, Kanda, and Link - again, sorry Lavi) but they’re really good characters and very interesting! I’m looking forward to seeing more of them.

My favorite is Road - she has a lot of parallels to Lenalee, where family is everything and she doesn’t much care for anyone else at all. (It’s my personal opinion that if the other Noah weren’t into the whole Holy War thing, she’d give it up in a heartbeat.)

The Earl is confusing as shit, but I want to see more of him and learn more about him - about him, the past Earl, Mana, Neah, all of it. I also like him as he is now, and I’d like to see how his love of his family intersects with his apparent desire for destruction.

Jasdevi has a lot of potential too, surprisingly - they’re the most ‘teenager’ this series gets, and I think they’ve got a lot of character growth on the way. (I spilled pretty much all my Jasdevi thoughts in Licorice Rope, lmao. Though some of it was only implied.)

And the rest will need a bit more filling out before I’m real interested - yes, even Tyki. Oddly enough I’m not quite sold on him yet. *laugh*

Doing Your Own Research

Originally posted by teded

Or, more appropriately titled: Doing Your Own Research, Without Just Looking Up Someone Else’s Correspondence Lists. Because while those lists are very handy to get started or have a shorthand reference, it gives us memorization, stopping just short of real understanding. What’s more, most correspondence lists won’t have your local (overlooked) plant life, or whatever niche plant, rock, animal you need. Sometimes, you have to get your hands dirty and figure it out from scratch.

Anyway so here’s some stuff you can do to aid in that.

 The Science
Look into what it physically is. What family does it belong to? If that weird plant growing in your backyard is closely related to say, basil, it will likely have similar properties. Was that crystal formed under heat and pressure, or is it a sedimentary rock? What does this animal do? How does it live and survive? A lot of correspondences come from this level, and it’s the easiest level to research. Physical traits and fun science facts are all welcome here and fair game to use in magic.

The Folklore
Okay, so we know what the Thing is made of, but let’s look into its relationship with humans. There’s nothing demanding that roses be the Official Love Flower, but rather it’s a collective cultural thing. That has worked itself into magic as well. Are there any stories involving your object of choice? Local superstitions? Home remedies? What does this item get used for in wider culture? For some things, there may not be much here. But for those that do have lore, it’s a valuable resource.

The Vibes
The actual, spiritual sensations you get from holding or touching the Thing. (This is going to apply more to rocks and plants… please don’t go out and touch wild animals.) This will give you some better understanding beyond just what it does, but how it does it. Does the energy seem aggressive? Is it fast or slow moving? Does it give you the impression of being related to a certain element? Which brings us into the next…

The Voice
If you communicate with stuff or spirits at all, this is for you. Just ask the Thing for yourself! “Hello. I am ____. Tell me, what sort of things would you be able to help me with?” Prepare an interview, maybe. This will likely be more specific than “love” or “cleansing,” because they’re giving you a pitch and will know themselves very well. It may be “I help someone realize romantic feelings they already have but don’t know about,” or “I help other cleansing items so that cleansed spaces stay cleaner for longer, but I don’t work by myself.” If you get an answer, record it!

Experiment
Use the Thing! If you have a general idea of what it does, throw it into the mix for your next relevant spell and see how it changes the result. You can read a lot about something, but the research doesn’t stop when you start using it! As you discover things through repeated use, make note of that as well!

Happy researching!

I’m bitter AND sticky so let’s get gooey on topic!

People just? forgot that ton of season 3 episode’s visuals are  actually amazing? I mean it could be just me but this season clearly trowed a ton of budget into some scenes an episodes! 

Super Watermelon Island got an amazing fluid fight scene between two giant women and it was as energetic as it sounds 

Gem drill, even tho it was pretty chilly on animation, had ton of detail on Steven’s faces, I find it like such a sweet detail having in mind the episode was focusing a ton on Steven and his connection with the cluster 

(this is my personal favorite)

Hit the diamond had a TON of characters on-screen at the same time, having in mind 5 of them where new characters and they had to design new clothing for 5 of them 

Even though my favorite part of this episode is the bond between Amethyst and Peridot, I think Too Short To Ride was pretty consistent, I am in love every time they put little lines under the eyes of the characters because it usually helps to remark the emotion they are feeling, is personal. 

Stevonnie’s back for Beach City Drift and the thing I like the most about this episode is the backgrounds and the color choices, they are AMAZING and pretty relaxing to watch on their own. 

Monster reunion was pretty harsh to see for me because painful scenes (aka scenes where the character is clearly in pain) make me feel incredibly bad, but I again shot out how they draw emotions and the subtle lines that make it all even better. 

More than for animation itself, I praise a lot Alone At Sea because of writing and atmosphere, and the last one really works, I felt incredibly… tense, when Jasper showed up, how she acted and the way she expressed herself, and how the colors got dark and the rain around it… just gosh

Even tho it was a pretty okay-o episode in general, I really liked Gem Hunt’s backgrounds, the whites and cold tones made a good mix with Jasper’s colors and really helped her to pop out! 

I’ve talked a lot about Bismuth, so at this point everything would feel redundant, so I’ll just say that the first and last scenes have pretty good colors, one being calm pastel tones and the other reddish dark tones #BRINGHERBACK2K17

And finally, Bubbled, which has some on the most beautiful space backgrounds i’ve seen in an animation product, is the feeling of emptiness that makes the most of the episode personally, how is literally just Steven and Eyeball and Eyeball pretty much tries to kill him, in other situations you can think about something going on, but is the fact that they are in space what makes it feel… well… empty, giving more focus to the characters that contrast the most in a sea of dark cold tones and blacks! 

other ways to give feedback for fic writers

as a fic writer and someone who has some form of social anxiety (and therefore is really nervous of commenting), here are other things you can do as a reader:

- reblog! not only is this feedback, it also provides a very much needed exposure for writers and their fics. tagging the post would be even cooler, but if you aren’t comfy with that, just pressing the reblog button can help writers a lot.

- recs! you can make a post about your favorite fics, or find fics to rec when your friends/someone you follow ask for them, or even just randomly drop recs in their askbox (e.g. “i found this lovely fic, here it is if you want to take a look *inserts emojis*“). if you don’t have a tumblr, you can simply share via anon asks. i’m pretty sure every fic writer will squeal or at least internally scream with joy when they realize someone’s rec’d their works. this is also one of the only few ways fics get promoted.

- kudos! i have mixed feelings about kudos, mostly because i’m self-deprecating and (wrongly) view them as ‘you’re good but not good enough’ - but they’re important as well. some people tend to look for fics by the kudos count (min. x kudos, for example), either because they don’t have the time or it’s just their thing (though please try to not do that as much so non-‘big name’ writers have a chance). if you enjoy the fic you’re reading, smash that heart button thingy.

- bookmark and public bookmarks! this shows that you enjoy their fics and would like to keep them (perhaps so you can reread in the future?). some people comb through others’ bookmarks as well, so there’s always a chance they’ll click on the fics you like.

- private or anon messages/asks! if you’re not comfortable with leaving comments publicly, there’s always this option. most writers have their inbox open and will readily get excited with you. (seriously, grab a writer and just yell at them (ง •̀_•́)ง)

pretty dirty pick up lines.

’ you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend. ’
’ are you a drill sergeant? because you have my privates standing at attention. ’
’ do you mix concrete for a living? because you’re making me hard. ’
’ if you’re feeling down, i can feel you up. ’
’ i’m no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight. ’
’ i may not go down in history, but i’ll go down on you. ’
’ are you from the ghetto? cause i’m about to ghetto hold of dat ass. ’
’ you know what i like in a girl? my dick. ’
’ are you a doctor? cause you just cured my erectile dysfunction. ’
’ i lost my virginity. can i have yours? ’
’ hey, you wanna do a 68? you go down on me, and i’ll owe you one. ’
’ you can call me cake, cause i’ll go straight to your ass. ’
’ roses are red, violets are fine. if i be the 6, will you be the 9? ’
’ i’m like a firefighter, i find ‘em hot and leave ‘em wet! ’
’ i’m hung like a tic tac. wanna freshen your breath? ’
’ you smell like trash. may i take you out? ’
’ i wanna floss with your pubic hair. ’
’ let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down. ’
’ you’re so hot, even my pants are falling for you! ’
’ are you spaghetti cause i want you to meat my balls. ’
’ we should play strip poker. you can strip, and I’ll poke you. ’
’ do you like adele? cause i can tell you wanna be rolling in the d. ’
’ do you have a shovel? cause i’m diggin’ that ass! ’
’ damn, are you my new boss, because you just gave me a raise. ’
’ remember my name, because you’ll be screaming it later! ’
’ are you an elevator? cause i wanna go down on you. ’
’ are you a shark? cause i’ve got some swimmers for you to swallow. ’
’ do you work for papa johns? cause you’re a fine pizza ass. ’
’ are you from china? cause i’m china get in your pants. ’
’ why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight? ’
’ baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited! ’
’ i’m looking for treasure, can i look around your chest? ’
’ if i flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? ’
’ would you like a hotdog to go with those buns? ’
’ this may seem corny, but you make me really horny. ’
’ how about you make me the climax of your story? ’
’ that’s a nice set of legs, what time do they open? ’
’ my name is skittles… wanna taste my rainbow? ’
’ you remind me of a crop, because i wanna plow you. ’
Hopeless Hearts

Drabbles

jessicamarcia requested: Jungkook + Idol/Fan AU 
Pairing: Jungkook | Reader
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 17,378
Author’s Note: Tbh I had some apprehension about this request because an idea I stumbled upon that just kept coming back to me was directly from this fantasy I kept about having about what would happen if I ever meet Jungkook and how and this just feels very personal to me as a result. Regardless, I decided to share because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t decide to contribute my pain to the fandom.

ALSO, sentences in italics are being spoken in Korean.

Summary: You never understood the gravity of your position as an intern working Kcon until you fall for one of your favorite idols, Jeon Jungkook—quite literally too.

.

Sometimes you think you have a lot of mixed feelings when it comes to your job.

On one hand, it’s a pretty incredible opportunity, one that you acknowledge not a lot of people get to experience first hand: which is working as an intern in the event operations department for Kcon—the annual Korean convention in which big Kpop groups will travel around the world to bring their music and their joy to the international fanbase. For someone who never actually had the means and the ability to make the trip as an audience member of your own accord, it’s fascinating to witness the back-the-scenes sight of how much effort and how much time goes into planning and organizing an event of this scale.

And because Kcon it in of itself is half a convention and half a concert, there were always many people needed to cover the different subsections of the event, which is where your role as an intern came into play. Given that there were two interns in the department of organizing the physicality of the event, you were put on the team mainly in charge of organizing the convention while the other intern assisted with scheduling of the talents and making sure the performances would go by smoothly.

But on the other end of that spectrum, working with vendors really allows you to see how many people handle responsibility and deadlines and it makes you want to pull the hair out of your roots. You like to think of yourself as a fairly reasonable person, giving a vendor 24 hours to respond to emails at the latest before having to resort to more emails and phone call—but this is absolutely ridiculous.

Keep reading

remember my love when we’re apart by tiedbows

my ultimate sheith playlist (equal parts tender and emo)

the postal service - such great heights // fall out boy - sugar, we’re going down // the boxer rebellion - if you run // run river north - shiver (cover) // shawn mendes - never be alone // vance joy - fire and the flood // little green cars - the john wayne // ruelle - war of hearts // the cab - intoxicated // dashboard confessional - hands down // no doubt - running // run river north - somewhere // gavin degraw - belief // bon iver - skinny love // howie day - collide // of monsters and men - king and lionheart // snow patrol - set the fire to the third bar // coldplay - in my place // the fray - look after you // relient k - must have done something right // bleachers - i wanna get better // the all-american rejects - there’s a place // daft punk - something about us // angels & airwaves - saturday love // brandon flowers - crossfire // keane - somewhere only we know // rudimental - lay it all on me (feat. ed sheeran) // utada hikaru - hikari // coldplay - violet hill // run river north - seven

Honestly I have mixed feelings about stim toys becoming popular among neurotypical people.

I mean on the one hand I am all for stim toys becoming normalised. That something that really does need to happen and it relieves a lot of anxiety about stimming in public. Also the more normalised stimming is the more accepted it’s likely to be and should hopefully reduce some of the stigma surrounding stimming (though for this to be truly effective the less ‘pretty’ and more stigmatised stims need to also be normalised).

However on the other hand for a lot of neurotypicals stim toys are often more of a distraction and are used by them as toys rather than tools to help them focus or anything. Stim toys are becoming popularised as distraction toys and novelties and it’s having serious consequences for neurodivergent people in the form of the stim toys being banned all over the place because of how they are being used as a distraction by neurotypical people. In a way this is actually worse than stim toys being uncommon, at least in my opinion, because teachers tend to be less willing to make exceptions on established bans than they are for items that aren’t banned.

Basically what in saying is its cool that stim toys are being normalised and helping to destigmatise stimming, however neurotypicals need to be considerate of how they are using the stim toys, and of the consequences using them as novelty distractions is having for the neurodivergent people who need stim toys to cope.

Also it’s pretty gross if ur neurotypical and play with stim toys but continue to be ableist and be intolerant towards neurodivergent people for stimming or behaving “weird”.

About Marco’s death in the next episode

So I’ve gotten quite a few asks concerning this topic and decided to put my thoughts down here.

In short, this looks like Bert reacting to Reiner reacting to Marco reactionception. We see the walls of Trost in the background, even the weather fits, this basically confirms that the rather tragic flashback plays next Saturday.

I have mixed feelings about the decision. On one hand, Marco’s demise serves as a parallel to Bert’s fate a few chapters later, and also helps kickstart his more determined persona we can see during the Shiganshina arc. Since his death, despite its presentation, remains an important even in the story, giving him this flashback to contextualize it all a bit more worked really well in 77. So I am slightly worried about what’ll happen once we get Shiganshina animated…but that’s a question for 2000 years from now.

There are many aspect of this I enjoy a lot though. First of all, it brings Reiner’s mental issues full circle right away. Ch 46 does a great job at introducing his split personality issue to the viewers, so seeing its origin gives the whole thing more weight, and adds to the humanization of “humanities enemy”. Furhtermore, I was personally quote bugged by the reminder of the existence of Reiner’s issues in 77, I felt that there was a possibility they might return in some shape or form, and that Isa reminded us of them on purpose (in retrospective maybe dumb, but Reiner’s brain was literally blown to bits at one point…is it too far fetched to make a connection between those events?). So not having that reminder in Shiganshina works wonders for me.

Another thing is that we actually get to see RBA in action once. Though its implied numerous times at that point in the story, 77 is the only time we actually get to see them acting towards their goal, and not overly professional at that. It’s great because A) all three of them are once more humanized, a major theme of the clash arc anyway, and B) gives more context to Bert’s crush on Annie, which becomes an actual plot point in ch 49. Since we actually see them all doing shit together, it feels more organic in my opinion. 

Additionally, both Annie and Marco have appeared in flashbacks this season—gotta pour in the salt while the wounds are still open. The clash arc already is overflowing with tragedy, lets throw in the horrible demise of the fan fav character in there too. Thanks Attack on Titan.

And for what its worth, this isn’t really a disrespect from the anime team concerning the placement of the scene in ch 77. In fact, the anime team went to Isayama requesting storyboards for Marco’s death, bc they were planning on including it there, yet Isayama hadn’t even though about introducing it to the story yet. Only after creating the scene for the anime team did he decide to introduce it in the manga, and it happened to fit in really well. (x)

 Funny thing I realized earlier: remember the titan that ate Marco’s half? He had an eerie resemblance with series director Tetsurou Araki, didn’t he?

It’s because Araki was the one to ask for the scene. Araki was the one who initiated the creation of the death of Marco. Araki was the one to kill Marco.

o.0

nicky forces neil to get a new phone and eventually neil makes an instagram and as he starts getting more followers he gets more comfortable with having social media and does 60 second Q&A’s with the team at the fans request

  • the first one he does is with kevin because of popular demand
  • neil does it on the court after night practice with kevin and he reads a few questions that exy fans have commented on his previous posts
  • ‘kevin, what are you a queen of besides exy? no I’ll answer this, the answer is nothing, kevin sucks”
  • “fuck off neil” kevin gets serious and the rest of the video is kevin extensively and aggressively talking about exy until the timer cuts off
  • he does dan next and it’s the cutest 60 second video out there okay dan is sitting next to matt on the couch while neil is filming
  • he asks her how it feels to be “the best female exy captain in the NCAA” dan gets the biggest smile on her face and scrunches up her nose before she answers
  • ‘oh that’s sweet, who wants to know? I like this person. It feels great! but it’s stressful at times, there is a lot of sexism in the world but I usually ignore it in favor of focusing on how lucky I am to have such a great team.”
  • matt’s looking at her while she’s talking and u can literally see the love and admiration in his eyes, fans are crying in the comments about how cute they are, so am I
  • when he does renee, most of the comments are asking about her hair so she explains how she dilutes the bright colors by mixing them with conditioner to make them more pastel
  • “but that’s the easy part, root upkeep is the worst tho, I hate touch ups.”
  • neil vaguely knows what she’s talking about cause he’ll sit in the room when andrew helps her with her hair
  • nicky manages to tell half his life story in 60 seconds
  • neil uploads a second video of nicky giving advice to queer kids afraid to come out because of strict and religious parents or unsafe home lives
  • aaron walks away when neil tries to do his so instead neil uploads a five second video that’s just him zooming in on aaron sitting in a beanbag chair playing video games “aaron’s a dick.”
  • matt gets asked about his boxing background and he beams at the chance to talk about his mom
  • “she’s so badass, she taught me everything I know, she could kick anyone’s ass” he points at the camera “she’ll kick your ass. better watch out”
  • allison gives fashion tips, she also roasts neil for how he dressed when he first joined the team “god u guys should have seen him, fucking awful. nicky and I fixed him up tho, but it took a lot of work cause neil likes to make things difficult” 
  • when neil gets to andrew nobody expects him to actually upload anything but when he does the results are hilarious
  • neil sits next to andrew with the camera frontfaced so half of neil’s face is in the frame, andrew is curled up on the couch with a pint of ice cream and his glasses on “it’s time for your interview andrew”
  • andrew just stares at him
  • “why didn’t you sign with the rav- wait that’s a stupid fucking question, we’re not doing that one. alright. how many times have you and aaron been mistaken for one another?” 
  • andrew stares at the camera in silence
  • “tragic. next question. how are you so good at blocking goals?
  • silence
  • “incredible. what is your honest opinion about kevin day?”
  • andrew stares for a couple seconds before rolling his eyes and getting up to walk away, neil laughs and nods “I agree” 
  • BONUS: andrew has neil’s phone while they’re on the roof, neil is holding his cigarette and andrew starts filming, pointing the camera so you can only see neil
  • “hey junkie, it’s your turn to be interviewed” “alright” 
  • “how does it feel to finally have a real home?” 
  • neil smiles softly, but he’s looking at andrew not the camera “like I’m finally living, like I’ve got everything I could ever want”
  • there’s a short pause before you can faintly hear “285%” and the video cuts off

stop saying stupid things.

2

I am definitely mixed. Both my parents are mixed. I have white family on both sides. The older I get, the more I experience life, I am identifying more and more with being black, and what that means — being more and more proud of that and feeling connected to my roots and my history. It’s been a really interesting journey because I was always one of the only black kids in any of my schools. I went to private schools full of white kids. I think a lot of that made me want to blend in or not be looked at as black. The white kids are always talking about your hair and making you feel weird. I had this struggle of accepting myself as black and loving that part of myself. And now I’m so in love with my culture and so proud to be black. It’s still ongoing, but a big shift has occurred. My dad especially has always been very connected to his history, and it’s important to him that I understand where I come from.

“Dennis’ Double Life” Defense & Explanations

In this post, I’ll attempt to explain/defend all of the controversial scenes in the Season 12 finale, “Dennis’ Double Life.” This write-up has helped me to appreciate the episode a lot better and it might help some people who have mixed feelings about the episode to view it in a different light.

NOTE: This is a mix of speculation and canon evidence.

Question 1: Why was Dennis a butt to Mac the entire episode, especially after he was so nice to him at the end of “The Gang Tends Bar”?

Answer 1: I will break this answer into three parts:

  • Part 1: I got the vibe that Mandy surprised Dennis with the visit, which explains why Dennis had mere seconds to tell the Gang to pretend that he was someone else. With the flesh-and-blood reality of Brian Jr. on his mind, I don’t think he had the mental energy to consider Mac at all. (In “The Gang Tends Bar,” Brian Jr. wasn’t there, so Dennis didn’t feel that immediate/strong pressure. Also, Dennis was emotionally vulnerable and available after having told the Gang about his “big feelings,” so he was able to react better to Mac)
  • Part 2: I’m not sure Dennis fully comprehends Mac’s feelings for him. I think he knows, to some degree, that Mac is attracted to him, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he sees Mac’s attraction to him as a kind of strange “hero worship.” Dennis verbally confirmed that Mac is gay in “Mac Day,” but he constantly acts weirded out or confused when Mac does/says something that shows that he has feelings for him. For example, in “Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs,” Dennis thought it was weird that Mac would name their dog Dennis Jr. That reaction, of course, mirrors Dennis’ reaction to Mac’s reveal that he perfectly recreated their old apartment. I don’t think he was trying to hurt Mac. He just flat out does not understand why Mac would go through all the trouble.
  • Dennis also doesn’t appear to understand his own feelings for Mac. He has asked Mac to “get off with him” (a “mostly sexual” manipulation game) and tried to get him to participate in a threesome with a male golf caddy in “Frank’s Back in Business,” admitted to Dee that he made his sex tapes for himself and Mac in “The Gang Group Dates,” stated that he has a thing with Mac where he picks out porn for them that he doesn’t want Charlie to join in on (“The Gang Spies Like U.S.”), and danced for Mac when he saw him avidly watching him in “PTSDee,” but he doesn’t see anything strange about this. It’s just par for the course in their relationship.
  • If Dennis has trouble seeing his own feelings, then like hell is he going to fully see Mac’s feelings. And if he can’t see Mac’s feelings, he can’t deal with them properly. 
  • Part 3: In the back of Dennis’ mind, he was seriously considering leaving the Gang and being a father to his son. He knows that leaving the Gang is going to hurt him, so he emotionally pushed them away. When the Gang becomes “lesser” in his mind, it doesn’t hurt as much to leave them.

Summary: Dennis was stressed the heck out about Brian Jr. and didn’t have the energy to deal with his relationship with Mac.

Question 2: Were Mac’s feelings for Dennis treated as a joke?

Answer 2: Not necessarily. Even though Dennis likes to act like he’s the smartest member of the Gang, Mac is clearly more aware and accepting of the nature of their relationship than Dennis is. Mac was 100% fine with them pretending to be a couple and raising Brian Jr. (with or without Mandy), not because he’s super desperate and lovesick, but because, no matter what they call their relationship (lovers, partners, pretend, friends), they’d still be together. Mac just loves being with Dennis and wants to help solve Dennis’ problem, so, of course, that would be his plan. (And it’s actually a good plan.)

It hurts the empathetic audience members to see Mac treated the way he is by Dennis, but it’s normal Dennis behavior that Mac has accepted. Mac has survived his internalized homophobia, his father’s dislike of him, his mother’s indifference to him, and the Gang’s occasional dislike of him. Mac is stronger than we think he is. And if he gets tired of Dennis, he definitely has the strength to walk away from their relationship relatively unscathed.

Summary: Mac was pretty much having fun playing a character (he even wanted his character’s name to be Griffin) and hanging out with Dennis and Dennis was stressed the hell out about Brian Jr.

Question 3: Charlie wanted to have sex? With The Waitress?

Answer 3: Yes. In “Charlie Has Cancer,” Charlie was visibly disappointed when he realized that he missed the chance to possibly have sex with The Waitress. In “Who Pooped the Bed?” a drunk Waitress stated that she would get drunker and bang a random dude and Charlie asked her if it could be him. In "The High School Reunion Part 2: The Gang’s Revenge,” when a drunk Waitress told the Gang that she’d bang the next person who talked to her, Charlie opened his mouth and stepped forward, but Schmitty came out of nowhere and The Waitress went home with him.

Summary: I know some people headcanon Charlie as ace and/or sex-repulsed (I personally headcanon him as gray ace) and that’s fine, but Charlie has expressed interest in having sex with The Waitress in the show.

Question 4: Why did the Waitress have sex with Charlie?

Answer 4: Surprisingly, the possibility of that happening was set up in a previous episode. In "Charlie and Dee Find Love,” (which was written by RCG) the Waitress reacted in an arguably jealous manner towards Charlie’s then-girlfriend Ruby (“Who the hell is this, Charlie?!”). Also, at the end of the episode, the Waitress told Charlie that she needed him in her life and that she was thinking about reducing his restraining order. Admittedly, the Waitress’ strange behavior was after Frank accidentally put rat poison in her shampoo (which made her sick) and hit her with his car (which put her in a hospital), so she could have some kind of permanent brain damage.

In the beginning of the show, the Waitress wasn’t attracted to Charlie, but was concerned about his well-being sometimes. (In "The Gang Gives Back,” she tried to help Charlie with his alcoholism) It’s possible that after “Charlie and Dee Find Love,” the Waitress’ view of Charlie started to change. As the years went on, the Waitress’ problems started to get worse and worse, and, like Cricket (her male counterpart), she still found herself continually drawn to the Gang. Even though she still thinks Charlie’s a mess, a part of her might think that he’s all that she has left. (And that might, sadly, be true) And, if Charlie can help her to fulfill her dream of having a baby, maybe things can get better for her.

Something I noticed as well is that the Waitress never said she loved Charlie back. It’s possible that she still doesn’t love Charlie and never will, but sees him simply as a partner that can help her to take care of her child. (Also, in order to get Frank’s money, she needs to be partnered with Charlie)

Question 5: What’s the deal with The Waitress acting the way she did after having sex with Charlie?

Answer 5: We don’t know that much about The Waitress, but we do know that she sometimes does/thinks weird stuff like the rest of the Gang. (In "Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom,” The Waitress slept with Frank, a man she’s not attracted to at all, in an attempt to get back at Dennis because she thought he was cheating on her with older women. In “Charlie and Dee Find Love,” it’s hinted at that The Waitress might be stalking Dennis because she has his phone number even though he changed it. In “The Gang Group Dates,” after years of Dennis’ mistreatment of her, The Waitress was still excited about possibly being Dennis’ girlfriend.) Also, even though she was kind of aggressive towards Charlie, all of her points were valid, some of Charlie’s responses were dumb, and her dislike of Charlie is totally understandable.

Question 6: What’s the deal with Charlie freaking out after finally getting The Waitress’ attention?

Answer 6: Surprisingly, the possibility of that happening was set up in a previous episode. In Season 9’s "Flowers for Charlie,” Frank paid The Waitress to hang out with Charlie because he was getting worried about him after he started taking “intelligence” pills for an experiment. When the Waitress began talking about her life, Charlie immediately started getting annoyed, started hearing a ringing in his head, and had to leave. We found out at the end of the episode that these pills were placebos. Basically, this was a strong hint that Charlie might be in love with the idea of The Waitress, not the actual person. So, even though he has been stalking The Waitress for 15 years, he might not really want to be with the real her. (The fact that he thought of The Waitress’ negative reactions as a “game between them” is another hint, of course)

Also, even though Charlie fantasized about raising multiple children with The Waitress in “The Gang Saves the Day” (which aired before “Flowers for Charlie”), it was still a fantasy. Charlie might fantasize about having a nice house, a wife, and children, but he still likes living in his unfancy and dangerous apartment and doesn’t handle stress well. There are huge conflicts that he doesn’t see.

Also, keep in mind that he came up with the plan only a few hours earlier and he mentioned that he wanted to get The Waitress pregnant so she would be tied to him for life. (clearly no thought about the actual baby and being a father)

So, with Charlie being Charlie and the reality of the situation crashing on him, he is starting to freak out.

Summary: Charlie freaking out is 100% in character.

Question 7: Why was Charlie a butt to Dee after having sex with The Waitress?

Answer 7: Charlie is an idiot and a misogynist, so he projected his issues with women and The Waitress onto Dee. Also, as Charlie mentioned, Dee possibly tried to have sex with him an additional time after “The Gang Misses the Boat” and he didn’t want that to happen again that night. So, overly-stressed and tired Charlie absentmindedly begged Dee not to be a whore numerous times before immediately falling asleep on top of her because even though he has issues with women, he feels comfortable with Dee.

Summary: Charlie and Dee’s relationship in a nutshell.

Question 8: Why did Dennis want to leave the Gang to take care of Brian Jr.?

Answer 8: I get the vibe that this might have been the first time that Dennis actually held Brian Jr. (or he hasn’t held him in a while?). Holding the child made him really understand that he is a living, breathing being he created and not just an obstacle to overcome to get back to his usual life. And then the child knew who he was, which made everything feel even more heavy. This is the first time in Dennis’ life that he’s been responsible for someone other than himself. He knows that if he stays with the Gang, he’ll feel guilty for whatever happens to the child. He’ll feel guilty that the child knew who he was but couldn’t see him. And the fact that the Gang doesn’t comprehend this at all (Mac, for example, excitedly told him “The plan worked!”) pushed him even further away from them and towards his child.

Question 9: Why didn’t the Gang seem to care when Dennis left?

Answer 9: The Gang has a great track record of unusual responses to deaths and departures.

In “Dennis and Dee’s Mom Is Dead,” Dennis reacted to his mother’s death by partying/hazing guys in his mom’s house and Dee and Frank seriously considered grave robbing her. In "The Gang Gets a New Member,” Mac and Dennis had no problem kicking Charlie out of the Gang and replacing him with Schmitty. In "The Gang Beats Boggs,” Mac’s only response to a drunk Dennis spontaneously leaving their plane was to write the number of beers he consumed on his forehead. In "The Gang Misses the Boat,” the Gang “broke up,” yet everyone just spent the episode doing their own thing. In "Frank Retires,” the rest of the Gang started cheering and clapping after Frank declared that he would be retiring from the Gang. I could go on and on, but you get the point.

It’s very likely that the rest of the Gang is still in shock/denial about Dennis leaving and they are expecting him to come back soon like everyone always does.

Since the highlight of the night was firing Dennis’ RPG, they decided to not let Dennis’ departure stop them. (It also doubled as a nice, fiery distraction)

As for blowing up the Range Rover? They think Dennis intentionally left it and it’s the perfect target to take out any frustrations they had/have with Dennis. (This is also one of the reasons Mac, who gave Dennis his cherished RPG, is the one blowing up the Range Rover, one of Dennis’ most prized possessions)

When Dennis comes back, they can excitedly tell him that they blew up the Range Rover and it was awesome.

Question 10: Why did Dennis leave the Range Rover?

Answer 10: Dennis wants to take care of his child, which is a good thing, but he is clearly going through a crisis and is not thinking clearly. He mentally/emotionally disconnected himself from the Gang (notice that he said “The bar’s done” and turned off the lights even though the rest of the Gang is still there and can run the bar) and left everything that reminds him of the Gang behind (which explains why the Range Rover is still there). He did not even think about packing, called a taxi, and headed straight to the airport to fly to Mandy and Brian Jr.’s location. This is one of the reasons the ending feels so “off.” It mirrors Dennis’ mindset.

Question 11: Why did Dennis name his child after Brian Lefevre?

Answer 11: This was probably Mandy’s idea and Dennis went along with it because he couldn’t think of anything else. He also probably wasn’t in the right headspace to complain since he wasn’t ready to have a child.

My family is going to be moving houses at the end of June, and since I’ve started packing away my books, I thought I might as well share some of my books with y’all and give some book recs while I’m at it!

First up is the LGBTQ+ books I own. Unfortunately, I don’t have very many given it’s kinda difficult to find ones with plots that I like. (I contemplated whether or not to include the wtnv novel in this one, but seeing as it’s not centered around Cecil and Carlos, I decided to leave it out for now).

But anyways, here they are:

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz - A coming-of-age story about two young Mexican boys, Aristotle “Ari” Mendoza and Dante Quintana, who are as different as can be, but who somehow manage to forge an unbreakable connection that spans from childhood to adolescence, and beyond. Ari is angry and confused and from a broken family. Dante is gentle, and emotional, and is “crazy about his parents”. Dante knows he’s gay. And Ari has no idea what to make of his relationship with his best friend.

This one is super sweet and isn’t in the picture because it’s with Natsu at the moment. But it’s really thoughtful and adorable, and I just love Ari and Dante to bits and pieces. Definitely a must-read, guys!

Beautiful Music For Ugly Children by Kirstin Cronn-Mills -  About a young trans teen named Gabe who recently came out to his best friend and parents. The book is about him trying to make peace with who he is. Mostly, he does this through his love of music, and his bond with his next door neighbour, an old man who helps him get his first radio show, where he quickly develops a following of fans who fall for his unique taste in music and his quirky personality. 

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell - A Harry Potter-inspired fantasy book with an absolutely fascinating magic system. We follow an orphaned chosen one who’s just trying to get through the his last school year at his magic boarding school, the Watford School of Magicks, while the entire magical community somehow expects him to save them from the villain who’s been stealing their magic. And not to mention having to deal with his archnemesis vampire roommate who has probably been trying to kill him since the moment they met in first year. But after being broken up with by his girlfriend, and invited to his aforementioned archnemesis’ house over Christmas break, needless to say nothing is going as he would have expected. This entire book reads like some kind of strange, drarry roommates au fanfiction, and it’s absolutely GLORIOUS.

every day by David Levithan -  “A” doesn’t have a body of their own. For every single morning of their life, they’ve woken up in a different person’s body, with no friends or family or life to call their own. And it’s all fine. A’s gotten used to it, made peace with their fate. They’ve learned not to get too attached to anyone, learned not to attract too much attention or interfere too much with the life of the body they wake up in. That is, until they somehow find themselves falling in love with the girlfriend of one of the guys whose body they’re borrowing one day. I actually had to consider for a while whether or not to include this book, because a lot of the most important bodies A inhabits throughout this book are male bodies, and the main female lead is straight. But A themself is nonbinary and pan. They identify as whatever gender the body they’re in is, and are attracted to people regardless of their gender. Loved this book to bits and pieces, really bittersweet. It has a sequel called “Another Day” which is focused mainly on the Rhiannon, the female love interest, but I haven’t read that one yet since I’m not terribly interested in her.

Fan Art by Sarah Tregay - This one is….very juvenile. And by that, I mean it’s one of those idyllic, clichéd ya romances that we all like to pretend we don’t like, but that has all the tropes that we just adore in fanfiction and that we inevitably end up finishing in one sitting. It’s about a high schooler named Jamie who’s recently realized he’s head over heels for his (seemingly) straight best friend, Mason. Cue teen drama and angst and mutual pining. A really cute, light read with an adorable little comic near the beginning.

More Than This by Patrick Ness - Seth attempts suicide by trying to drown himself, and is pretty sure he succeeded. He felt his skull bash against the rocks after all. Only…he wakes up, naked, thirsty, starving, and utterly alone. He has absolutely no clue where he is, but the abandoned, crumbling, overgrown streets seem somehow vaguely familiar to him.

A suspenseful, thrilling, heartbreaking post-apocalypse with a gay protag that absolutely definitely has room for a sequel, though I don’t think the author has any plans to write one.

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg - Rafe Goldberg is openly gay, and has a pretty good life. His parents are super supportive, he’s popular at school and has lots of friends, and no one really cares that he’s gay. But he’s getting tired of always being labelled as “the gay friend”. He just wants to be a “regular guy” and not “the gay guy.” So when he transfers to an all-boys’ boarding school, he decides to become “openly straight” instead. But just when everything was going perfectly for him, it all starts unravelling when he finds himself falling for one of his new friends.

I have mixed feelings about this one. I enjoyed it quite a bit while I was reading it, but the ending left me quite unsatisfied, and after having some time away to think about it, I’m not entirely sure I like the main character very much. He’s kinda really manipulative. Read at your own risk.

Proxy by Alex London - Sydney “Syd” Carton is a proxy. Rescued from the wastelands as an infant, his debt to the city was bought by a huge corporation that sells the lives of orphans like him to various rich and powerful people, who buy them as scapegoats for their own children. Syd’s patron, Knox Brindle, is exactly the rebellious, asshole bad boy that every proxy dreads. When Knox breaks an expensive vase, Syd is beaten. When Knox crashes a car, Syd is forced to donate a dangerous amount of blood to keep him alive. When a girl dies because of Knox’s aforementioned car crash…Syd gets the death penalty. His mad attempt to flee his fate leads to the accidental kidnapping of his patron and has the two of them branded as terrorists, leading to a crazy, cross-country chase that will change their entire world as they know it.

This book. Is literally one of my favourite books in the entire fucking world. Hands down the best dystopia book I’ve ever read. The characters are absolutely fantastic, the character development is fucking amazing (Knox somehow ended up becoming my fav character???), the world is rich and vibrant, and the book is beautiful and thrilling and utterly heartbreaking. If you read just one book from this entire list, let it be this one. It also has a sequel, for those of you interested, though I haven’t read it (and don’t plan on it either), so I can’t really vouch for it.

Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan - When two boys from completely different social circles and personalities somehow stumble across each other on one mutually crappy night, their shared name brings both their lives careening together in a strange, complicated, and downright frustrating way.

This one….was kinda dark. It was funny, because one of the Will Graysons is an edgy lil emo kid who thinks strictly in lowercase and writes angsty poetry and he’s absolutely adorable. But it also addresses some very real hardships and struggles that both gay and straight teens have to face. 

Adventures in Raising a Space Twig: Part 1

Originally posted by forma-lina

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY 2

Post-Guardians of the Galaxy 2

Quill struggles to come to terms with the loss that he’s suffered, the reader and Groot try to be there for him.

Peter Quill x Reader

Words: 1,399


How long does it take to grieve the loss of a loved one?

 It was an impossibly complex question that came to you in the simplest of ways when Groot shimmied up onto your shoulder, peaked through your hair and sighed, “I am Groot.”

You held your hand out to him so that he could jump into it and held him out in front of you, “I know that you want him to feel better Groot but we have to be patient. Quill is going through a lot now; we just have to be there for him. Okay, baby?”

He nodded and you put him back on your shoulder so that he could curl up against your neck as you both watched the empty doorway that Quill had fled through.

It had been a couple of weeks since Yondu had passed, a man that you admittedly had mixed feelings about, but it had obvious to you that there was more to how he treated Quill than the latter understood.
You’d known Yondu since you were small, your father was the Captain of another Ravanger crew and he made a point to see you as often as possible, on occasion he brought others with him like Yondu. But you’d not known about Quil’s existence until many years later and even that was by accident when you’d confused their Ravanger ship for your fathers.

 There was an instant friendship between you, he was cheeky and protective and not afraid to ruffle your feathers just because of who your dad was, maybe that was why you didn’t tell your Dad that Yondu had broken the Ravanger law of no children, because you feared what could happen to Quill if you did.

But you stayed in sparse communication until your Terran friend decided to go out into the Galaxy on his own, you caught up with him and travelled together until you met the rest of your little messed up family.

 Still, however he had felt before, Quill was struggling to come to terms with losing the man who had tried his best to do right by him, even if it hadn’t seemed that way at the time. You’d been travelling towards Xandar when a Ravanger ship passed you; they’d stopped and then released another Ravanger funeral salute. The bright colours in respect to your lost friend had been like a punch to the gut for Quill, he’d quickly made his excuses and left.

 "Big baby.“ Rocket mocked but his voice was heavy with sadness, his heart wasn’t in it.

You leaned down to where he sat next to you and gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving after Quill.

You didn’t bother knocking on Quill’s door, you’d been friends so long that it was an ongoing joke about your lack of privacy with each other. He was sprawled on his bed flicking through songs on his zoon but the headphones dangled idly down beside his arm.

"Room for a couple of little ones?” You asked softly, afraid to break the quiet of the room.

“I am Groot.” Groot added from your shoulder.

He nodded and placed his zoon down on the side table and budged over so that you could crawl onto the bed beside him. You lay on your side so that you could face him and Groot ran down your arm, jumped onto Quill’s arm and ran up towards his face.

“I am Groot.” He said tenderly and patted Quill’s cheek with his tiny hand.

“Thank you Groot.” He mumbled and rubbed his red eyes. It was still guesswork for Quill, trying to understand the things that Groot meant but he was getting better at it, it gave him something to focus on.
“Wanna talk about it?” You asked, even though you were fairly sure on the answer. 

Quill sucked in a breath as he rubbed his finger up and down Groot’s back, “That’s pretty much the last thing that I want.” He said, his eyes welling again. Groot noticed and let out an upset squeak, sometimes it was hard to remember that he was just a baby.

 "C'mon, come here.“ You mumbled and gently maneuvered yourself to lie on your back and pulled Quill until he rolled over and rested his head on your chest. Humming softly, you rubbed his back. His body shook with each sob pressed into your chest; his hands twisted your shirt as he clung to you, tears soaking into your shirt.
Groot sat on his neck, his small hands brushing Quill’s sideburns and offering his cheek a plethora of tiny, loving kissing.

It was a few minutes until Quill sniffed and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt before following the outline of tears that he’d left on your chest with his finger. His voice was thick, "You must think that I’m being such a dork.”

“Oh yeah, the biggest dork.” You teased and hugged him closer, “Star Dork.”

“I am Groot.” Groot chirped from his seat on Quill’s neck.
“Hey! I didn’t deserve that.” Quill said, his voice full of mock hurt and real tears, he reached one arm up so that he could tickle Groot with one finger. Groot giggled, high pitched and childlike, in Quill’s ear before falling from the man’s neck and onto your stomach.

“Well that’s just not fair now is it, Groot?” You asked and his shook his tiny head, “We’re just going to have to get him.”

“Don’t you dare!” Quill managed to choke out before you’d flipped both of you over, straddled him and held him down with his arms across his chest. Groot frantically ran up and down his sides tickling him.

Quill bucked and tried to throw you off, shouting that this was a mutiny but that only made Groot more excitable. You all froze when the bedroom door opened and Drax stood watching you all, you could only imagine how it must have looked, you holding down red faced Peter while Groot squealed excitedly.

“I didn’t see anything.” Drax mumbled, turning ready to leave.
“Sorry we can’t take that risk,” you grinned, “Get him Groot!”

 Groot jumped down from the bed and ran after the giant warrior screaming, Drax for his part pretended to be scared and ran. Drax must have made a wonderful father.
Laughing you fell back off of Quill and onto the bed side him; gently you took his hand in yours and gave it a light squeeze. He’d stopped crying but his eyes were red.

“I bet I look so hot right now.” He joked and wiped at his eyes again.

“Nah you’re pretty much always stomach churning, like just so ugly.” You teased and he squatted at your arm with his spare hand. After a moment in silence you asked, “Do you want me to leave you alone for a while?”

 He shook his head and squeezed your hand back, “We should probably go save Drax from Groot.”

Quill stood, fixed his hair in the broken mirror above his bedside table and threw one of his shirts at you. It hit you in the face and you gave him the finger in response, you stopped his laugher to give him a questioning look and he gestured on his own chest where you had the wet patch from his tears.

You quickly changed, as Ravanger kids and good friends you’d gotten changed in front of one another untold times. The pair of you followed the sounds of shouting around the ship until you found Groot sat on of the chairs crying and holding his hand as though it hurt and Drax and Rocket brawling on the floor.

“You’re Captain, you can deal with those two idiots.” You laughed and sidestepped the fighting to pick up Groot and kiss his hand better. He grinned at you and took residence on your shoulder while you watched Quill threaten to fetch Gamora if Drax and Rocket didn’t behave.

 You never really finish grieving for loved ones, but it helps to have other people that you adore around you, even if they do make a mess of your ship.


Part one
Part Two
Part Three 
Part Four

@hanginwithmanerds @schnusel @melodicantelope @serenity-schuyler @thequeen-ofnerds @pastel-wytch-lord @lokis-mayhem @yjrevolution