Sometimes I think about Harry and Draco getting married, and who would change their name. And I love everyone’s ideas about which one of them would change their name and why. It’s always so beautiful.
But in the end, all I can think is neither of them would. And not because they’d be losing something, losing their name, but because of something important and powerful they can’t explain.
Because to Harry, the other man is Draco first and Malfoy second. But Malfoy is still a huge part of Draco in the same way the Dark Mark is. Something he was that’s also part of who he became, and the beauty in his darkness comes from the strength of his will and determination to change himself for the better. The world sees him as Draco, but Harry sees him as both. Harry loves Malfoy in the same way he loves Draco, for everything he was and everything he is.
And for Draco, well it’s Harry now and Potter second. Potter who died in the forest to save everyone, who was reborn just Harry. Potter who still belongs to the Wizarding World but Harry who will always belong just to Draco. And his name holds so much weight, so many expectations and memories and there is something almost visceral in its intensity when Draco whispers the name against Harry’s skin in the dark of the night. Draco knows Harry has always wanted to be just Harry, but Draco sees them both and he loves him for everything he is and everything he didn’t want to be but was anyway. There is a strength in Harry’s name, in his perseverance that makes Draco feel safe.
And when they join hands and say I do, well yeah they’re becoming a family, becoming something new, but only because of who they were and who they are.
Because it’s Harry now, and yeah it might be Draco first…but Potter and Malfoy are forever.
Okay, I am going to elaborate more on this ask. The thing for me is that I view Cain and Robert as two sides of the same coin. They are both serial villains of Emmerdale who have serious daddy issues and reasons for being emotionally stunted but have found someone who made them want to be better (Moira and Aaron). They both had their stories where everyone wanted them dead, Judgement Day for Cain and Who Shot Robert? for Robert. Both of those experiences allowed them to be brought to their loves of their lives, without actually addressing some fundamental issues in those relationships.
Anyways, this story for Robert in many at the beginning reminded me so much of Cain’s story with Amy. When Cain slept with Amy it was the end of him and Charity. It cost him everything. She then got pregnant and Cain tried to force her into an abortion. She lied about it and hid her pregnancy with the help of Victoria. But when Cain found out Amy had lied and Kyle was his he didn’t instantly fall in love with Kyle, and that was true still when he came back town with Joanie. It’s taken years for Cain to come around to Kyle and be a father to him and that was before they even addressed his daddy issues properly. The show made the conscious choice to make sure Cain was in a good place with Kyle but not suddenly over his daddy issues to do this story with Isaac and Moira. Because they wanted Isaac to be the trigger to finally address Cain’s issues and in the end bring Cain and Moira back together. Because Cain being there for Isaac when Moira can’t will allow her to see she can finally rely on him, which has been the biggest problem in their relationship since day one. Cain has always run away but he’s not running now.
That’s why this story is incredibly frustrating to me. They made the baby the thing that Aaron couldn’t take. They made this kid the reason Robert isn’t with the love of his life. They also never addressed if Robert wanted to be a father. They never addressed if this was something he had thought about in the future. They’ve barely talked about Jack unless it’s some vague assumption to push the plot forward, but it’s not really getting addressed and most of the time it feels very cookie cutter and unnatural. While in contrast, there have been so many discussions of what Shadrach did to Cain over the last year and how that affected him as an adult and his choices. The really cool thing is it just wasn’t in relation to Kyle or Isaac. They made sure to relate Holly’s addiction back to Shadrach so that we the audience could understand why he struggled to support Moira during that time. It’s been bubbling under the surface for so long the flashback episode felt earned and it finally put it all in perspective and the addition of Faith back in the village has allowed this all to finally breathe and be explained. While Jack just feels like a throwaway line at this point they throw in when Robert is feeling emotionally churned up to amp up the angst without really addressing it.
So I look at this and how the show could have really taken it’s time during this pregnancy to address Robert’s POV with fatherhood. That way these stories would also not have been running right alongside each other. It’s not like they were too busy focusing on Rebecca so why not spend the time while Robert is scheming to be addressing the Jack stuff? It would have worked. Why not have him talk to Sarah’s grave? He can’t talk to anyone but imagine he just regularly visits Sarah’s grave and we get a short scene where he struggles but talks to Sarah. It would have shown some conflict. It would have shown a side to Robert that the GA could have related to while he was spiraling out of control and also allowed for an explanation of his behavior. So by the time Seb was born we as the audience might buy that Robert really does just feel the instant bond. Now it just feels like a really cheap lazy plot point and they are still just brushing past the important stuff. The dialogue is soulless and cheap, and you just have to look at Cain see how meaningful and full of purpose the stuff with Isaac and Moira is for his character and Coira. I just can’t say I see what Seb will bring to Robron and their relationship or what he as their child addresses at a fundamental level for them.
He can hear the annoyance in the tone of her voice, the fact that they’re willingly driving through a snowstorm in the middle of the night because of a potential lead. On a case that they’re not even officially assigned to. Because they no longer work for the FBI.
She’s reminded him of that last detail so often over the past few days that it’s become white noise to his ears. No longer with the FBI. That may be the case, and it has been for years, but he still feels an obligation. When someone needs help, he comes to their rescue. He can’t help that it’s in his nature, drawn to the defenseless like a moth to a flame. And he knows she knows it; once he sets his mind to something, anything, he can’t control himself, he goes all in. And this, finding a missing woman, with whom he has no connection, for an agency that more than once tried to destroy his life, is no exception.
Isolation had been hard on him. He knew it was necessary, more for her safety because at some point, he no longer gave a damn about whether or not they found him. It wasn’t fair, though, that she had been cleared by the FBI, no longer a person of interest, not long after they settled into their home. Their unexpected visit from Skinner at the house to tell her almost scared them, her, back into a life of fake IDs and scratchy motel sheets, but Skinner assured that no one else knew where they, he, were. Skinner set up a PO box for them, helped Scully get back into medicine, get her life back, essentially. And then, there was him.
He hated being cooped up in the house all day, still feeling the sting, almost of rejection, of remaining a recluse while she got to move on with the world. But he found things to occupy his time. He rekindled his love for cooking, of which Scully reaped the benefits. When she’d saved up enough, they installed cable and internet, and he spent some time scrolling through UFO forums, finding stories that captivated him the way X-files used to, especially when daytime television became too over-the-top. He stayed active by working on the house. Installing the gate, tightening the plumbing, fixing a loose shingle on the roof here and there, chopping lumber in the backyard for them to use in the fireplace. Scully reaped those benefits, too, his physique healthier and toner than it had ever been.
But he didn’t ever really venture much further than their property. Scully was the one that picked things up for him at the hardware store, or did the grocery shopping, all on her way home from the hospital. She sometimes went days without coming home because of her shifts; on those days, he thought he was slowly losing his mind, her reappearance at the end of the day often the only thing that truly kept him going. Some days he hated her, too, for abandoning him, for staying at the hospital. Logically, he knew that it wasn’t reasonable for him to be so angry with her for going to work, having means to support them. But logic was never his forte, anyway.
So when the request from the FBI for his assistance came, he masked his initial excitement with disinterest, feigning his need to be involved with something important again, because he didn’t want her to think this new normal they had created wasn’t enough for him. He thought that if he could convince her to go with him, to be a part of this alongside him, that she, too, would remember what it felt like, discovering the mysteries of the unsolved, the rush of following a lead. That she would be supportive of his immersion back into the real world, no longer a wanted fugitive. Apparently, he had been wrong.
Instead, she sits begrudgingly behind the wheel, acting as his chauffeur as they make their way to the site Father Joe claims to sense something that will help further the investigation. But he thinks she’s only following him out here seemingly out of a loyalty for him, not to the truth. And it makes him furious, because he thought he knew her better than this.
It isn’t just that she isn’t interested in this case, but he gets the feeling that she wants nothing to do with anything even remotely resembling an X-file. This isn’t my life anymore. Truthfully, it wasn’t his life anymore, either, but he refused to see the harm in dipping their toes back into the waters of the unexplained. There was something more to this that she was reluctant to tell him, presumably that she thinks being involved with this is harmful, and it pisses him off. They rarely kept things from each other anymore, and he can’t understand why she wants to start back up now.
So he delves himself further into this case. To piss her off? Because he’s genuinely curious about Father Joe’s visions? He once thought his motives to be clear, but frustration has perplexing power of clouding his judgments. All this time, and no one can get inside his head, make him question anything and everything, like she does.
Closing his eyes, he refocuses the objectives of his involvement. It’s not simply just the paranormal elements of the case that have drawn him in. Nor is it just fulfilling a need for freedom, to be more than half a mile from their home. Surely, he thinks she realizes that by now.
It’s because every time he closes his eyes, Monica Bannan’s picture haunts him.
When he sees the picture, he thinks of Samantha. How the missing woman’s waved hair matched Samantha’s whenever it wasn’t in braids. How the two of them would be the same age, if Samantha were still alive. How the details surrounding their disappearances are mysterious, eerie. Those similarities are obvious, and he knows that she will call him on it.
What evades her, at least he hopes, is how much Monica Bannan reminds him of her. It’s not the red hair and the blue eyes, though those physical features are not lost on him, in spite of every other difference in their appearances. No, this case, a missing FBI agent, vanished with fairly little trace, is all too familiar. He is reminded of her own disappearances, of how he couldn’t save her. When Duane Barry took her to Skyland Mountain, when the chip in her neck called her Ruskin Dam. He thinks that if he can find this missing FBI woman, he can right all the times he couldn’t find Scully.
This is why he feels the need to drown himself in locating this woman. He wants to prove, both to her and to himself, that he can save someone, especially after he’s failed so many others.
And maybe, just maybe, he can get some part of his old life back. Just as Scully has.
Staring out the passenger window, ignoring her comment so as to not pick a fight, the snow falling furiously with the wind, he thinks of how good it feels to be wanted, to be a part of something bigger than himself. And he doesn’t seem to care that right now, it isn’t Scully that wants him.
This feels different, though, somehow, compared to all the other times they’ve looked for lost souls in the dark. The potential for destruction, both of the only constant aspect of his life, which has weathered for more than fifteen years, and of himself, seems to be at an all-time high. A bomb with a short fuse, waiting to go off; a constant buzzing, a hum that he’s just noticed and if he hears any longer, he fears he’ll snap. If they keep this up, the effects could be disastrous, their promises to each other dissipating with the wind, evaporating into nothingness. But if they fight this out, he’s afraid that one of them may end up resenting the other.
He thinks he’s found himself at a crossroads: Lose himself and keep Scully, or lose Scully and keep himself. He doesn’t know which possibility scares him more.
apparently today is 12 years since jac’s first ep so naturally i’m feeling all emotional over this!!! i always wonder if rosie knew all those years ago just what an iconic character jac would come to be, and if she ever dreamt that over a decade later she’d still be such a central part of the show and more loved than ever
jac is one of those characters who everyone knows even if they don’t watch the show, her reputation precedes her (as always). i only started the show last summer but growing up i always remember knowing who jac naylor was, it’s crazy to think she’s been around since i was only 9 years old!!! and like i said, i didn’t even watch it back then but she’s always been something of a legend in british tv imo
and when i did eventually get into holby, it was because of her. i’ve had a lot of favourite characters in my life so far (as you all know), some of them helping me at different times for different reasons, but i honestly think jac has had a bigger impact on me than just about any of them. she means so much to me in so many ways and i know so many others feel the same, and i think that’s just amazing because most of that is down to rosie making her so human and relatable
basically, i’m so grateful to rosie for 12 years of the most amazing character and the best scenes, and hopefully for many more years still to come. and i really knows how much she and jac have changed so many lives for the better
jesus I’d forgotten how much Ten gets put through the wringer in season 4 but like…. he really goes through it
first there’s Jenny– he’s only just come around to the idea of having a family again and then it’s ripped away from him
then he meets River, and just as he’s beginning to trust her he has to watch her die, knowing that he’ll always know what happened to her whenever he meets her in the future
then there’s fucking MIDNIGHT right afterwards, one of the few times in his life he’s been truly powerless– not only is he trapped in his body and being forced to shout for his own execution, but the humans he’d befriended turned on him
and then there’s freaking Stolen Earth / Journey’s End where after finding Rose again he has to say goodbye (though granted, whether or not that was necessary is VERY debatable) and he loses Donna on the same day
so after that rapid-fire string of traumatising bullshit, is it any wonder he straight-up cracks in Waters of Mars
@prevanon but pansy is so mean! :o don't get me wrong I love YOUR pansy. But canon pansy is nasty af
Yeah, because the way she’s
portrayed in the books is so miserably two-dimensional! It feels as though JKR
was basically, “how can I write a female character in the most obnoxious,
completely unlikeable way??” and I’m not wrong! :) JKR admitted herself that she (unfeministically) put everything she disliked about girls into Pansy’s being. Poor her! Pansy is pretty much the
student Slytherin female lead, it’s such a shame she wasn’t given any
character depth whatsoever, but even though canon Pansy is the flattest
character imaginable, I so very strongly believe in her being more
than that, perhaps deserving more than that, which makes fanon Pansy so much
more appealing, naturally. I get that the Pansy we see in the books is a nasty empty
space, but I kind of just… refuse to see her that way? :)
I’ve been busy with school + having depression lmao + I’m going out of town this week, so I’ve been super lazy with this blog. And yeah I don’t really feel the need to explain myself, but I just want y'all to know that I’m doing alright, and I’ll get to all the asks at some point in my lifetime. I’m not purposefully ignoring anyone, but sorry I’m shit at responding :/
I cant even imagine the amount of pressure that namjoon must be feeling with all these upcoming american interviews…i really hope the people doing those interviews do their research so there arent any dumb, rude, or awkward questions