I HAD TO POST THIS BECAUSE THIS IS MY FAVORITE PHOTO EVER

Reasons to ship Camren…

  • They have matching onesies; Lauren’s one is gray whilst Camila’s is pink.
  • They’re both Cuban.
  • They’re both from Miami, Florida.
  • Both are Latinas.
  • Lauren and Camila got the most solos in The X Factor performances.
  • They are both big fans of One Direction.
  • They both auditioned in Greensboro, North Carolina.
  • They both have a younger sister.
  • They hung out with each other on December 31st, 2012 to January 1st, 2013. They then tweeted a photo of Camila making a funny face and Lauren looking awkward.
  • Spanish was both their first language.
  • They live 15 minutes away from each other.
  • They often switch places with the other girls so they can sit next to each other.
  • They both love to do accents with each other.
  • They often think the same things at the same time.
  • They both have a weakness: Lauren for beanies and Camila for bows.
  • Lauren is the only one who calls Camila Camz.
  • Camila said if Lauren got arrested for something, she would get arrested for being so sweet.
  • They sat right next to each other at a The 1975 concert.
  • They have the same music taste.
  • Lauren said Camila is her “Pink Princess”.
  • Lauren is the “mom”…and Camila is the “father”.
  • Camila thinks Lauren is a “boss of an intelligent opinion”.
  • Camila thinks Lauren “is real”.
  • Camila would switch her mind with Lauren.
  • Lauren would switch her mind with Camila.
  • Camila wanted Lauren to kiss her under the mistletoe.
  • They wear the same “merch” clothes.
  • The way Lauren looks at Camila after she says “Fall, by Ed Sheeran”.
  • Lauren is Camila’s celebrity crush. (Oh … and Camila wants to marry with her celebrity crush ..even if her family doesn’t support the relationship.)
  • Camila would be "Baby Spice” because she is Lauren’s baby.
  • Lauren is the only person who laughs at Camila’s jokes.
  • Camila loves Lern Jerg.
  • Because Lauren helps her when her banana is dead on the floor.
  • Because Lauren helps her when her microphone breaks.
  • Because Lauren ties her shoes.
  • Camila is the sun and Lauren the moon.
  • Because Lauren doesn’t know what else to say but she thinks Camila is pretty fucking Dope!
  • Because Camila has Lauren “written on her”.
  • Because Camila read Lauren’s favorite book.
  • Because Lauren knows that Camila cried reading “Fault in Our Stars”.
  • Because one day Camila and Lauren went to the bathroom together and … that’s the end of the conversation!
  • Because Camila thinks Lauren can sing and is pretty too.
  • Because they have an audience that calls them crazy! (and they call us delusional!)
  • Because both like “so many hot boys”.
  • Because Camila said: “keep the boat floating”.
  • Because Lauren said “It’s Camren, YOOO!.
  • Because Lauren wants someone to love her insecurities…and Camila do!
  • Because Lauren has “the most beautiful emerald eyes in the world”.
  • Because Camila thinks Lauren is “perfect”.
  • Camila tried salmon because Lauren loves sushi.
  • Because Lauren thinks Camila is goofy, not the bad kind goofy, the cute kind goofy.
  • Because Camila loves people from “planet green eyes”.

Extra:

  • I love you. You’re one of my best friends and I feel like I’ve know you forever. You’re one of the smartest people I know and you’re stuning. I’ve learned a lot from you, just know I’ll always be here for you no matter what!” - Camila on Lauren
  • Happy 16th Birthday little one(: thank you for always being you and being one of the raddest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You’re an incredible person and I’m extremely lucky to have you in my life. Thanks for being there to vent with and even though we haven’t known each other for even a year yet, I feel like you’re the sister God forgot to give me. I love you Camzi(: have a good one babe! 💙😘🎉🎈🎁💙#camren” - Lauren on Camila


  • Happy 17th Birthday to this little nugget right here. I thought this picture was cute so I decided it would suffice. Just wanted to let you know that you’re an amazing beautiful person and I’m glad that you’ve been alive for 17 years and that 2 of them have been spent with the girls and I because idk you’re pretty rad and an amazing friend and fun to have around. I hope you have an amazing day and feel as special today as you deserve to feel everyday. Thanks for always being there for me when I need you and for being your wonderful self(: I LOVE YOU CAMZ” - Lauren on Camila


  • AWHHHHH YAAAY I LOVE YOU UR CUTE 🐏🐟💗🎷” - Camila on Lauren


  • The word I’d use to describe Camila is hmm I’m gonna say cutesy, like also goofy. It’s like both, like the good kind of goofy not the weird kind. Like the cutesy kinda goofy” - Lauren on Camila


  • LERN JERGI. ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU ARE 18. THIS IS THE MOMENT YOUVE BEEN WAITING FOR. IF YOU STUCK YOUR TONGUE OUT IN THE AIR RIGHT NOW YOU COULD PROBABLY TASTE THE SWEET AND PUNGENT FREEDOM OF DRAGONFLY TATTOOS, NOSE PIERCINGS, AND VOTING RIGHTS. we’ve been through thick and thin in our friendship, and through those thick and thins I’ve gotten blessed enough to experience you as a person. ive gotten to experience your bomb music taste which I am SO HAPPY YOU INTRODUCED ME TO because we have the best time at concerts bonding over bands and there are so many more to come PRAISE JESUS. i can come to you about anything and expect the pure, honest, rare truth and I’ll always be there tell you it’ll be okay when you cry on my shoulder when you feel lonely or hurt. I’ve gotten to see firsthand your incredible sense of justice, when you see that something unfair or wrong has happened, you’ll raise your voice and fight for that person with a bravery that I, and many other people (although they might not admit it) wish they had. i love how passionately you fight for what you think is right and everyone should remind you today and everyday that it’s a strength and not a weakness. i can’t tell you what a comfort it is to know someone like you will stick up for me and have my back, i hope you know i will too. i love you always” - Camila on Lauren


  • Super cute candids taken by a random stranger always make good birthday post pics. HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY CAMILA CABELLO. YOU’RE LEGAL NOW YAYYY!!!!!! You are such a beautiful person inside and out and I’m so thankful that I get to call you my friend. Thanks for all the laughs, for being my shoulder to cry on whenever I’ve needed a friend, for giving amazing sound advice (even though you’re just now considered an adult by the government you’ve been there mentally for a while which I greatly appreciate) I wish you many more years of amazingness and I hope you had the best day with your family. You deserve all the love and happiness the world has to offer and I wish it all upon you for many many years to come. I LOVE YOU CAMZZZZ❤️❤️❤️” - Lauren on Camila


  • HAPPY 19TH LAUREN!! i remember the day you auditioned for X factor seeing a beautiful green eyed girl belt out an Alicia keys song so perfectly i feared for my life. i remember telling my mom "that girl can sing!! and she’s gorgeous too!!” and then you walked out and i told you i loved your shirt remember? HAHAHA. it’s funny how before we even knew how important we were going to be to each other, something in us knew and something in us will always know. i love how fiercely you defend your opinion, i love your strength, your bold independence, and your desire to live life fully. i love that we crack up at each other’s jokes even when nobody else gets them- and i love those moments where we get caught up in talking about a band or a book and we get lost in the conversation like two normal girls in high school that aren’t about to go do something ridiculous like go to an awards show. i will always be there for you when you need someone to vent to, when you want to talk about the overwhelming underwhelmingness of boys that break our hearts or the overwhelming overwhelmingness of when a kiss leaves your head reeling, when i back you up and you need someone to stick up for you, or when you just need someone to understand- we’ve done that for each other in the last 3 years and we will do that for each other forevermore. i love you so much !!!! happy 19th lern jergi!!!!! camila“ - Camila on Lauren
3

So this handsome fellow is Peter Doyle, longtime partner of the great American poet Walt Whitman. He is often viewed as an enigmatic figure, but what we do know about him tells us that he was quite remarkable in his own right.

Pete was born in Limerick, Ireland, and came to the United States with his family when he was eight years old. After the death of his father, he worked hard to support his widowed mother and siblings. One of his brothers, Francis, became a police officer in Washington DC, where the family lived. Francis ended up fighting for the Union during the Civil War, while Pete served in the Confederate Army. He saw serious action and was wounded, discharged from the army, and promptly arrested when he attempted to go back to DC. He managed to get off the hook by claiming that, as an Irish immigrant, he really didn’t care one way or the other about Union versus Confederacy. True or not, this worked, and he was freed.

It was at this point that Pete took a job as a horsecar conductor. In the nearly empty streetcar, on a stormy night in early 1865, Pete met Walt Whitman. Pete as 21 at the time, while Walt was 45. According to the younger man, it was pretty much love at first sight. “We understood,” Pete said. Walt was the only passenger on the streetcar, and he didn’t get off at his planned stop. Instead, he rode with Pete until the end of the route, at which point the two men spent their first night together.

They were inseparable for the next seven or eight years. They’d often go for long walks together, with Walt reciting poetry or passages from Shakespeare. I am 100% not making this up.

And their letters. Oh my God, their letters. Not many of Pete’s to Walt survive, but Walt’s to Pete are so full of love that they’d melt the coldest heart. A sample quote: “My darling, if you are not well when I come back I will get a good room or two in some quiet place, and we will live together and devote ourselves altogether to the job of curing you, and making you stronger and healthier than ever. I have had this in my mind before but never broached it to you.”

As this excerpt implies, Walt very much wanted to make a home with his young partner. Sadly, this would never be possible. Pete, as the oldest unmarried son, saw it as his duty to provide for his mother and siblings. They – and the society in which they lived – had certain expectations. While Walt was on good terms with Pete’s family, getting them to accept wholeheartedly this same-sex relationship was an entirely different matter. The two men had to do with spending nights together.

Pete was definitely a tremendously positive influence on Walt and his work. He persuaded Walt to delete three poems dealing with themes of despair and unrequited love from the 1867 edition of Leaves of Grass. He may have also influenced one of his partner’s best-known works, “O Captain! My Captain!” The tone deals with the death of Abraham Lincoln and the end of the Civil War. It is unusual amongst Whitman’s works because it is rhymed, rather than written in free verse. Walt noted that Pete had quite the rhyming ability, often rattling off charming limericks. Also, some have argued that the metaphor of the ship on the rough sea is a kind of nod to Pete’s immigrant background.

The young immigrant was also an eyewitness to the greatest tragedy of the day. He was in the balcony of Ford’s theater on the night of April 14, 1865, when Lincoln was assassinated. He recounted hearing the shot, and then seeing Booth leap onto the stage. Later, Walt drew on this account as a source of information for his annual Lincoln lectures. And he wouldn’t have heard any of it, if it weren’t for his boyfriend!

Walt suffered a stroke in 1873, and moved to Camden, New Jersey, to live with his brother. He ended staying there until his death in 1892. Pete was unable to find work in Camden, though he did eventually get a job in Philadelphia. They saw each other only sporadically, and at one point Walt had gone so long without hearing from Pete that he thought the younger man had died. He hadn’t, but he was put off by the presence of a housekeeper and other caretakers in his partner’s house. He stayed away, for fear of rousing suspicion as to the true nature of the relationship. After Walt’s death, Pete expressed regret for his hesitation.

In 1897, Pete allowed Richard Maurice Bucke (Walt’s literary executor) to publish the letters written by Walt to Pete. The result was a book called Calamus. No one who read it would have any doubts as to the nature of the love between these two men. It made Pete the black sheep of his Catholic family, and his sister forbade the reading of the book in her house. I think we have to give the man some serious props here. It had to take a hell of a lot of courage to let something like that hit the presses in the 19th century. Maybe he was proud of himself, his partner, and their relationship, and saw no shame or sinfulness in any of it. I sincerely hope that this was the case, and that there was an element of defiance of social and religious norms that went into the publication of Calamus.

Pete remained a member of the “inner circle” of Whitman devotees until his own death in 1907. He is buried in DC’s Congressional Cemetery. His grave marker is a short walk from that of Leonard Matlovich, which famously reads, “they gave me a medal for killing two men, and a discharge for loving one.” Nowadays, Peter Doyle is usually included on history tours of the cemetery which focus on LGBT figures.

Excellent work has been done by Whitman scholars in order to rescue Pete from the shadows of history. We are beginning to understand just how much he influenced Walt, and what a fascinating man he is. “Pete the Great,” as he liked to call himself, is an enigma no more.

And now, to finish off this already very long post, a quick guide to the photos:

Top: Pete aged about 25 years, taken in 1868. Cool hat.

Middle: Pete aged 57, taken circa 1900. Cool mustache.

Bottom: Pete and Walt, circa 1868, ridiculously in love. This might be my favorite historical photograph of all time.

By Heart [ IV ] [ Final ]

Genre [Rating] : Angst / Some Fluff

Length: 5k

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Summary: Getting over him was the most impossible thing in the world because part of you couldn’t believe it was really over.

Part One: x Part Two: x Part Three: x

Originally posted by kyungsuhos

Everything felt soft around you, the mattress that dipped to the curve of your spine, the feathery pillow cradling your head, the comforter tangled around your legs. The air was quiet around you, fingers splaying out against the sheet as your body shifted onto its side, eyes screwing shut as you fought off waking up to no avail. The sunshine began to peel through your lids til you fluttered them open, squinting into the light pouring through the sheer curtains that framed the window across from you. You deeply inhaled, the smell familiar and calming as your eyes flickered around the bedroom, taking in each and every thing you hadn’t seen in so long. The beaten up dresser that needed replaced, the books that were tattered shoved into their shelves, even the neatly folded clothes waiting for you on the trunk at the foot of the bed.

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Taste The Sweet (Grayson Smut)

Summary: You’re a Youtuber, hanging around the H&M tent at Coachella. Grayson is your biggest fan.
Word Count: 2,861
Warnings: Fingering.
A/N: Thank you to the anon who sent this idea in! This is all your idea, I’m just writing it out. I didn’t want to post the request because it contains “spoilers” but this imagine is basically what the anon requested. Hope you like this one! (title from Don’t Be So Shy by Imany)


“Turn your head a little to the side…” The photographer gestured with her hand, cocking her head to the left so you smiled and complied. “Perfect. Now smile.”

The flash went off a few times as she snapped her photos, and you tried to stay still and let her do the work but you were feeling too excited. Earlier today you had arrived in Palm Springs, ready to head over to the festival and show off your outfit that you had spent three weeks planning beforehand.

You didn’t know how you had gotten so lucky. One minute you had been uploading your pictures on instagram and it had blown up, gaining over a hundred thousand followers the first few months. By the time you had reached five hundred thousand, you had started up a Youtube channel, and a year later you had gained over two million on your channel and been invited to numerous events. Coachella being one of them.

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RFA React to MC looking at Them like They’re the Entire Universe and More in a Photo

ok so this sounds like a dumb scenario but i just took a picture with a few friends of mine a couple hours ago and in the picture i’m looking at my boyfriend while laughing and it looks like i’m in love with him (which i am) and also like he’s my entire world and more so i wanted to make this a scenario of sorts idk man

if you all like this enough i could do v + saeran and possibly vanderwood but it really depends haha. that’s all for now please enjoy!

YOOSUNG:
-y'all went to a fishing trip with the RFA that saeyoung suggested as a way to get ‘closer’
-yoosung was really excited because he got to spend time with some of his favorite people ever as well as you!!! what else in the entire world could he have wanted more than that??
-so you two packed up what little essentials for fishing you had and headed out for the day
-when you finally got there most of the time was spent trying to explain to jumin that no, he couldn’t pay someone else to do this for him and then at other times helping calm down zen after a fish came too close to his 'precious’ face
-even though there were moments where jaehee looked like she was about to kill saeyoung for throwing a fish into her lap it was a fun time
-to commemorate the day together y'all decided to take a picture together with your phone
-while saeyoung was focusing the camera yoosung said something funny that made you burst out in a small fit of giggles while staring at him
-before you could even prepare the picture was taken and you felt yourself grow embarrassed at the outcome
-everyone was smiling and doing cute lil hand poses but you
-you were definitely smiling but you weren’t looking at the camera, instead you were staring at yoosung with this sparkle in your eye that caused a deep red to cover your face
-“the way she looks at him, it’s almost as if though he’s her entire world and more.” jaehee said while hiding a small smile
-“get you a girl that looks at you like MC looks at yoosung.” saeyoung said while choking back a small laugh
-“wow! look at mc you guys, looking at yoosung like she’s in love with him!” zen continued on with a small smile
-“maybe she looks at him like that because they are in love??”
jumin said in a confused tone, obviously not catching onto the jokes
-a few of the members groaned at jumin’s obliviousness as they looked over at yoosung who was smiling at the picture on your phone fondly
-you peeked at his face while trying to calm the violent blush painting your features
-“it’s funny you’re looking at me like i’m the universe and more, when you’re even more than that to me.”
-cue everyone literally blushing and internally dying at how precious their youngest RFA member still is
-yoosung now keeps that photo framed in his office, even after years of taking it, just so he can be able to see your precious face looking at only him like that


ZEN:
-aight so this man loves taking selfies
-it didn’t take you that long to figure that out
-at every moment of every day you were together he would come up to take 'unexpected’ pics of you
-but he was a fool! after a week of surprise selfies you got used to it, and could now strike a cute pose to match zen’s beauty in every picture
-one day y'all were just having a normal rehearsal dinner with his cast when zen (who else would it have been??) declared they should take a group picture that he could post on social media to hype up the release of the musical
-so everybody agreed and begin to come close together to take the picture
-zen unexpectedly put his arm around you and said something along the lines of “smile, my beautiful princess”
-so ofc you were all smiley and blushy while looking over at him
-before you even had time to snap back to reality the flash went off and the picture was taken
-fRICK
-everybody was passing around zen’s phone looking at the picture making vague offhand comments about 'the look in mc’s eyes’ when it finally got to you and zen
-zen stared at it for a second, a wide smile pulling at his features before he looked over at you with a small blush painting his cheeks
-“what??” you finally said
-“look at the way you’re looking at me babe.”
-he handed you his phone and you looked over at yourself
-your eyes were all glazed over because of the flash and a warm smile was on your face all while you stared at a gorgeous zen smiling at the camera looking like the most beautiful man in the world
-“ah, true love.” a co-star commented
-you were beyond embarrassed!! the way you were looking at zen was so precious and whimsical and god it was just so embarrassing
-“do you really love me so much that you look at me like i’m the entire night sky babe??? aahhh that’s so sweet of you. it makes the beast inside of me awaken just a tad-”
-“zEN PLEASE”
-he has the pic as his profile picture on all his social media accounts, each one zoomed in onto your face and eyes, staring lovingly at his gorgeous face

JAEHEE:
-you guys rarely took pictures together since y'all were so busy with the cafe all the time
-but today was a special day!!
-it was the one year anniversary of the cafe opening and you saw it necessary to take a picture to commemorate such a big milestone
-jaehee was a little hesitant but agreed on the terms that some would be professional and others would be silly
-so y'all set up a camera on a stand and put it on a timer and started taking a bunch of silly pics together, some of them being professional
-you didn’t realize even realize it but at one point all you were doing was laughing at jaehee trying to push all her hair out of her face
-when the little photo shoot of sorts ended y'all went into your shared apartment and started looking over them together
-the first few were cute, just mundane peace signs and sweet smiles
-then at one point jaehee’s bangs went in front of her face and you looked like you were dying of laughter
-towards the end of the of the pictures there was one particular one that jaehee looked at for a long time
-it was one where she was laughing while tucking her hair back into place and you were smiling fondly while looking at her with such a loving gaze
-she blushed and said nothing and just continued on to look through them, commenting now and again just how silly some of them were
-the picture was never brought up again but a few weeks later you found out jaehee had not only put it up as her profile picture in the chat room but also printed a copy and stuck it neatly on your bedside table
-you didn’t say anything about it but every time you saw it you were embarrassed but also a little glad to know that it was clear to see just how much you loved her

JUMIN:
-the only pictures that are ever released the public of you two are serious ones or ones of you both looking absolutely gorgeous while getting off your private jet or coming home from the airport
-but there have been dOZENS of pictures of you that jumin has always kept hidden from the world and all of his friends
-pictures only he could ever see.
-these pictures were usually taken during silly photo shoots, a small thing you both did every month
-you let him try to take pictures of you just smiling and he struggles but he’s trying his best to capture your cute lil poses stop teasing him!!
-most of the time you’re the one taking pictures of him struggling to do a peace sign but other times you take pictures of you both doing cute poses or kissing one another
-one time v offered to take pictures as a way to celebrate your wedding anniversary and you both agreed because v was a close friend and jumin wanted a chance to see his beautiful partner in wedding attire again
-so you two began doing the photo shoot with serious and sweet poses
-one photo was of jumin tipping your chin up to meet his gaze
-another was of him wrapping his arms around your waist and laying his head on your shoulder and there were dozens of others alike to those two
-but then in some you both were making stupid faces to each other and then finally, in the last one jumin said something that made your heart curl
-“i love you with all my heart mc, i wish i could marry you over and over and over again, just so i could see your precious face smiling at me while i slipped the ring onto your finger. is that selfish of me? i hope you feel the same, my love. let us spend the rest of our lives together, a life that will hopefully be filled with all your silly jokes and faces. things i fell in love with just as much as i fell in love with you. happy anniversary darling, i love you.”
-you were on the verge of tears and had no words to even explain what you were feeling but you just let out a small chuckle while staring lovingly at him while he looked over at the camera
-next thing you know the flash went off and you were now going over all the pictures together with jumin
-all of them were absolutely gorgeous (what else did you expect of v mc??) but your favorite had to be the one where you were sticking your tongue out at jumin and he was doing the same to you
-his favorite was the very last one
-one where you were looking at him with so much love in your eyes he could practically feel it radiating off the camera
-though you were embarrassed you were really happy
-he soon after put the picture everywhere he could
-in his office, in your office, in your bedroom, in a giant portrait right above the sofa
-everywhere
-though it was embarrassing it made you happy so it was alright

SAEYOUNG:
-he has like a thousand and one pics of you on his phone but little to none of you both
-all the pictures he has of you range from you in sexy lingerie to a bad angle of you sneezing while brushing your teeth
-he loves all of them just the same though
-one day he wanted to do a cosplay photo shoot with you which you agreed to since most of the time it was fun teasing each other back and forth about just how short your maid skirts were
-so he set up a camera you didn’t even know existed and immediately started posing all cute and such
-you tried to follow his lead but fell behind after a while and just stood back basking in all of his cute and over the top poses
-at one point all you were doing was laughing while he made the most ridiculous 'sultry’ faces he could at the camera
-when it was over you two stayed in your costumes and went over the pictures
-you couldn’t stop laughing at all his silliness and he couldn’t stop laughing because you were laughing!!
-it took forever because of your constant giggles and chuckles but you both made it through all of the photos
-you caught what was just a glimpse of one more photo which was just of you smiling at saeyoung while he side eyed you, a smile of his own pulling at his soft features
-you felt your heart leap in your throats as he wrapped his arms around your waist and kisses your forehead
-“thank you, mc. i’m really happy.” was all he said as he pulled you closer towards his torso
-you hugged him back and you both stayed there for a while, just embracing one another silently
-a few weeks later you came into your shared bedroom casually, almost missing the giant portrait of you two that was covering up an entire wall
-“saeyoung?”
-“yeeesss honey??”
-“why, why is there an entire wall covered in a picture of me staring at you.”
-“because the way you were looking at me was just so cute i couldn’t just let the opportunity of your cute smiling face pass by so easily!! look at you!! look at me!! look at our outfits! this is the best picture we’ve ever taken together.”
-“oh. saeyoung?”
-“yes?”
-“i hate that you are the love of my life so much.”

anonymous asked:

!!! I didnt know you liked documentaries! i loooove them and im always looking for good true crime ones. would it be too much to ask if you could recomend me some good documentaries you like? <3

this is the hardest but the best question ever. i’ve been musing over it for the last several days, and i finally just decided to sit down and make out a list. this is by no means a complete list, nor is it a ‘best of’ list. just some that i wanna rec because i think they’re awesome. or at least, the subject is fascinating, and so the annoying narrator/bad quality/etc is worth enduring. let’s go!

♥ autopsy (tv series) - if you have hbo go, it’s better to watch them there because the quality is a lot better, but this is a link to a youtube playlist of episodes. autopsy is a show about (you guessed it) autopsies, but each episode is themed and focuses on several interesting stories about deaths/murders where the cases were solved through forensic evidence found during the autopsies. michael baden is the forensic pathologist who has done several of the autopsies, and he’s the host of the show. i could watch this every single day for the rest of my life. (expect lots and lots of gore)

♥ paradise lost: the child murders at robin hood hills - another thing i watched on hbo go, but here’s a link to a yt vid (there are two other parts to this doc; they should show up in the related videos to the right). this is the story of the west memphis three and the murders of three little boys in arkansas in 1993. it’s a fascinating, heartbreaking, and unbearably frustrating story about the conviction of 3 teenage boys for those murders. there’s another doc called west of memphis that documents the events that occur after paradise lost concludes. i think west of memphis is my favorite of them all. god, what a fucking story. (graphic crime scene photos and video of three little boys.)

♥ mommy dead and dearest - i just watched this doc today on youtube, but hbo already found it and took it down. SO! you can watch it on hbo/hbo go, but because it’s so new, i doubt it’ll be anywhere else for a good while. it’s the story of dee dee and gypsy rose blancharde, a mother and daughter in a toxic, manipulative relationship that is one of the worst cases of munchausen by proxy ever documented, and one that ends in murder.

♥ thin blue line - a doc made in 1988 that digs into the wrongful conviction of a guy named randall adams who ends up on death row for something he didn’t do. it set a precedence for the importance and influence of crime docs. because of this documentary, the case got reopened.

♥ the keepers - another new doc, but this one’s on netflix. it’s a docuseries that follows the story of the murder of a nun, sister cathy cesnik, in 1969, and the unbelievable sequence of events that lead to it. this doc has pedophiles, sociopathic priests, police cover-ups, and a tireless group of retirement-aged women, some of whom are survivors of rape and abuse by the aforementioned priests, who will not rest until sister cathy’s killer is caught.

♥ the witness - on netflix, too. i talked about this one in my last movie post, but it’s the journey of a brother to try and understand what happened the night his sister, kitty genovese, was murdered in nyc in the mid-sixties. it’s absolutely fucking heartbreaking.

♥ cropsey - (i hope this link works??) this is a doc about a boogeyman urban legend on long island. the reason it’s interesting is because the doc is made by two kids who grew up on long island hearing the story, and there’s a really interesting story about an asylum that gets unearthed while they dig around. this guy also made a doc called killer legends which talks about urban legends and the true crimes that may have inspired them. both are really good.

♥ who took johnny? - another one i’ve already recced, but i wanted to put it on this list because it’s a good one. it’s about a boy named johnny gosch who went missing in the early 80s and was never seen again. the pov here is mostly with johnny’s mother, who is still searching for her son. it’s so heartbreaking. </3

♥ most evil (tv series) - i loveeeee this series. dr. michael stone is a psychiatrist who has a ‘scale of evil’ from 1 to 22 where he places different murderers for various reasons, including mental illness, history, and motive. each episode has a theme, and i could seriously watch this show every day forever and ever and ever. <3

♥ karla homolka & paul bernardo aka ken& barbie killers - these two. jesus fucking christ. paul was a serial rapist before he even met karla, and together, they murdered at least 3 girls, including karla’s little sister. the most insane thing? karla basically gets away with it. i can’t watch enough about these two. they’re so fucking horrible.

♥ the black dahlia, aka elizabeth short - okay, i’m in love with betty short, so i’m gonna link to a bunch of docs about her. i don’t have a favorite, and there isn’t one that i would consider definitive. i wish there was more out there, and i wish there was a good doc that had a good budget and a lot of care taken in its creation, but alas. so here are a few docs that at least give you some good info, crime scene pics, and theories:

one | two | three | four

(please come talk to me about elizabeth short. any time. ask me anything. i love her.)

♥ luis garavito aka the beast - ohmygod. luis garavito. colombian serial killer who has admitted to the rape/murder/torture of at least 140 boys, though it could be closer to 300. there have been mass graves of his victims uncovered. what blows my mind is that this happened in the nineties. 

♥ just melvin, just evil - disturbing and sobering doc about a viciously sadistic, horrible pedophile who ruined the lives of so many children in his family. the lives of all his victims were forever changed and ruined by a single man, and what makes this doc so special and painful is that you get to witness them confronting him when they’re grown.

♥ david parker ray, the toy box killer - if you haven’t heard of david parker ray, omfg, are you in for a story. this guy. he built a torture chamber in a trailer outside of his home and kidnapped, raped, and tortured women for years in it. and it all takes place in a tiny place called truth or consequences.

♥ there’s something wrong with aunt diane - a documentary about a car crash in 2009 that resulted in the deaths of 8 people, including 4 children. the events leading up to the crash and the mysteries behind what went on in that car just before and during the crash itself are just… so, so bizarre. a really interesting doc. (graphic crime scene photos at the end)

♥ the boneyard: leonard lake and david ng - just… the story of how the police even found out about these two in the first place is so fucking amazing. what comes out of the ensuing investigation is just staggering. these two fucks tortured and murdered at least eleven people, probably more. and you won’t believe what it takes to get one of them brought to justice (and what happens to the other one).

♥ wild child: the story of feral children - feral children are one of my very, very favorite topics to research. i’m endlessly moved and fascinated and inspired by stories of them. this is a great doc that touches on several instances of foundlings and gives you some names to rush out and do research on and find more docs about. there isn’t enough out there on feral children. not even close.

♥ theresa knorr - okay, i watch a lot of crime docs. a lot. very, very little shocks or phases me at this point. but this woman? holy fucking shit. theresa knorr stuns me. there’s something about women serial killers that fascinates me, and i think it’s that most of them know their victims intimately or are related to them somehow. knorr is the worst. the. worst. what her children have to endure before they’re murdered is unspeakable and beyond what even my warped brain could imagine. my god. 

♥ mary vincent (lawrence singleton) - this is a link to an episode of a show called ‘i survived’ which has two other stories on it, one that’s kinda boring and the other which is almost as astounding as mary’s story. but mary’s story is just… astonishing. she was fifteen when she was picked up as a hitchhiker and raped, dismembered, and thrown over a cliff. and she fucking survived. i love her. i want to hug her.

♥ catching a monster - peter scully - GOD. this fuck. peter scully is the most horrifying human being i’ve ever seen. his story is ongoing and not finished yet, but this doc talks about what he did and how he was finally arrested. scully ran a pedophilic red room/film studio where he tortured, raped, and murdered children for rich people who paid him to do it and film it. just. yeah.

♥ kidnapping of elizabeth smart - mindboggling. just… not only how she was taken, but also why and what happened while she was gone. and how she was found. stockholm syndrome is another thing that fucking fascinates me, and i wish this doc had focused more on that aspect of the story, but i understand why elizabeth is reluctant to discuss it. anyway! such an interesting story.

♥ the murder of james bulger - james bulger was a 2-year-old boy from merseyside who was brutally murdered by two 10-year-old boys. the violence they inflicted on this kid, and the way his body was found is just… a nightmare. there are two docs on this murder that i’ve watched and find interesting in their own rights, so i’m gonna link to both: 

one | two

(after you’re done watching these two, look up the two boys who murdered him and see what they’re up to now. one of them will stun you.)

♥ aileen wuornos - gonna end this with the lady dearest to my heart. i feel such an incredible amount of sympathy and heartbreak for this tragic woman. her life story is almost unbearable, and the journey of her lifelong abuse by men, the series of murders she committed, and how she found love somehow in between all of it will stay with me forever. there are two wonderful documentaries on aileen, both by nick broomfield, and together they tell the whole story, leading up to her execution:

 the selling of a serial killer

 the life and death of a serial killer

this is by no means a (complete) list of my favorite true crime cases! but these are some that i love a whole lot. i hope you find something you like here! ♥

Tyren, Tyren, Tyren................

A shit load of people keep asking for my opinion on Tyren. Instead of answering all the different asks, I’m just going to put it in a post , to answer all the questions about them, at the same time. So, here it is…

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Inside Choices: The Royal Romance, Book 2

Just this spring, The Royal Romance: Book 1 kicked off with a dance in the palace ballroom of Cordonia. The whirlwind romance of the first book ended with a courtly plot against you. Who in the court can you trust? And how will you fight back? All will be answered in Book 2… and The Royal Romance will return at the end of September! To find out more about the upcoming book, check out the interview with The Royal Romance team below:

Soooo… how’s book two of The Royal Romance going? What’s next for our Cordonian crew?

Jeffrey: Well, next I’m probably going to go home, cook some vegetables, listen to a podcast, then socialize with some friends through the interwebs–

Oh, you meant the characters, not us. Well… In Book 2, we want to take the main character’s journey in a more experimental direction where she really discovers who she is and what she wants. First, she was living under the expectations of her role as a waitress in New York, then she escaped into the trappings of high Cordonian society. Now’s her chance to pursue her true self.

Kara: Even though we’re not releasing chapters right now, we actually started Book Two right after we finished Book One! I finished writing the last few lines of the Coronation and then immediately started writing the first chapter of Book Two! We actually had to do most of the planning while we were still working on Book One. We’ve got a lot of fun planned–even though things can get a little dire in the Royal Romance, the fun of being at court and spending time with your friends is still there. We’re going to travel the world, meet new people, build a barn, and probably talk more about hats.

It’s a pretty big understatement to say Book 1 had quite the cliffhanger. Can you tell us a little bit about where this is going?

Kara: I think the most striking thing about the reactions to the end of book 1 are how people interpret what happened differently. It all happens so quickly, and we only gave people a few lines to read into, but it really isn’t very much to go off of. You don’t know exactly how the Prince is feeling, or why he picks who he does. From the writers’ perspective, we jump right into writing Book Two, so there’s not much of a wait. I wish our players didn’t have to wait either, because a few weeks of being in suspense can go a long way! In Book Two, you’ll be able to finally fight back and figure out who framed you and Tariq in Book One.

Jennifer: I don’t want to say exactly where Book Two is going, but questions that were brought up during our brainstorming were: Who sent the blackmail note? Will Olivia come back? Who tried to sell the bachelor party photos?

I need to know. Will we get our happily-ever-after?

Jennifer: I think you can really tell by a writer’s favorite novels what kind of outlook they have on endings. My favorite novel is Pride and Prejudice, so you could extrapolate how The Royal Romance will end from that. On the other hand, Kara likes Wuthering Heights, and Jeffrey really likes Hamlet, so… take from that what you will.

Hm… interesting. Now given Olivia’s ancestry and other factors, Cordonia is essentially the modern day version of Stormholt from The Crown & The Flame, which had quite a bit of worldbuilding. What does worldbuilding look like for The Royal Romance?

Jeffrey: Worldbuilding is a delicate and intricate process. First, I like to devise an economic system because economics answers a few questions on how we organize ourselves. For The Royal Romance, we developed an export market for the Cordonian apple sector by defining the exchange rate between the Cordonian currency versus the Euro. We have spreadsheets, graphs, and everything. It’s very professional. In fact, if you look closely, you can see a subplot where Cordonians attempt to tackle the housing crisis and rising inequality.

Once you have an economic framework which people organize themselves around, you can move on to the stories engrained in the national identity. What do they believe and how do their surroundings and past traditions influence them? What are the dissenting points of view?

With these two pieces in place, you can finally embark on a 10-volume historical record following the rulers of Cordonia, which will prompt a body of work on Cordonian history from the perspective of the common people. When you can recite the third edition of the Encyclopedia Cordonia, the writing can begin.

Jennifer: Jeffrey will be publishing his next novel, “Cordonia: An In-Depth Look At A Glorious Peoples” in Spring of 2028.

Very funny. (Just so we’re clear, Jeffrey is joking. Sort of.) Out of curiosity, who’s your favorite character to write in The Royal Romance?

Kara: I love writing Maxwell. In the first draft of The Royal Romance Chapter 1, he actually didn’t exist, and Bertrand was your only host. But that world felt too flat and un-fun. I realized we needed someone more playful to be opposite of Bertrand, so that’s how Maxwell was born! (He was originally just “Nobleman 2”). Right away, everything in the group felt like it finally clicked, and everything got a lot more fun to write. Even though we had to do a lot of last minute changes to the plot, I think it was worth it. Now he’s such a major part of the book that it’s hard to imagine a world without him! I also love writing Hana and Maxwell together because they’re both very sweet and playful but in very opposite ways. Hana also kind of reminds me of Jennifer and Jessica in some ways… XD

Actually, it’s very striking to me how each of the three Royal Romance writers for Book One has influenced the world and cast. Jennifer gives everything a touch of formality and courtly grace, and Jeffrey brings in a lot of wacky humor about horses and hats and poodles. If I’ve added anything, it’s probably making Bertrand meaner, throwing in more silly group moments with your crew, and probably having Drake drink too much whiskey. (I don’t even like whiskey.) But overall, it’s really thrilling to see the world and the characters that come out of this combination.

Jeffrey: Madeleine. It’s fun to write someone who’s constantly trying to spin a situation to their benefit, and making power plays along the way. I’ve actually been writing for Madeleine since her appearance in Rules of Engagement: Book 2, so we’re practically besties.

And who’s your favorite love interest? *wink* *nudge*

Kara: I love them all! I probably end up writing the most Drake, but I often get to write some of the Prince’s speeches to you, and I love how considerate and loving he is. There’s nothing selfish or mean about him. He’s the kind of person that you’d want to be around in real life.

Jennifer: In my personal game, my love interest is definitely Drake, and I totally make Kara write him just so I can read his scenes and enjoy the romance. =) Writing-wise, I enjoy Hana the most because I feel like we have a lot in common, and some of her struggles with trying to please while simultaneously trying to figure out what will make her the most happy in the long-run really resonate with me.

Is there anything you’d like to tell the fans before Book 2’s release?

Jennifer: We hope you’ll enjoy the twists and turns we have planned for Book Two!

😱 🤔 Well, that’s something to look forward to! To everyone reading along… Check back at the end of September for the start of The Royal Romance: Book 2! And as always, we’ve got more on the way…

-Jessica

Fig chatter! (Q/A)
First off, i just wanna say thank you so much to everyone for all the super nice and encouraging notes! It always makes me to happy to see that my work is making people happy and your notes really help to motivate me to do my best at this comic!

Yep!!! That manga is one of my favorite things in the whole world so it really really influenced my comic.


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30 Days of Autism Acceptance

Welcome to the 30 Days of Autism Acceptance challenge.

As most of you know April is autism month and in an attempt to muffle all the awareness campaigns sure to pop up, I figured we should run an acceptance campaign.  For each day there will be a prompt (or prompts) for you to respond to and post publicly with the tag #30DaysofAutismAcceptance.  Even if you are not out publicly or are not able to complete every prompt, I still invite you to participate; do what you can even if it’s only for a few days.  Please don’t stress about having to complete every day, just do what you can.  With enough people we can drown out at least some of the Neurotypical/allistic campaigns.  

I’d like to give a shout out to Allie from @smartallyk and Casey from @caseydickdanger  Allie gave me the idea from her 31 Days of Trans Visibility campaign and let me reword several of her prompts.  Casey helped me to narrow down and condense my prompts to a workable format.  Thanks to you both.  

Day 1.      Make yourself known.  Tell the world your name and age.  Talk about your diagnosis.  Are you self or professionally diagnosed?  Do you think self-diagnosis is valid?  When did you realize/find out you were autistic?  Post a photo of yourself if you’d like.

Day 2.      Talk about passing and/or being out.  Are you out as autistic?  How have people reacted?  Do they treat you differently after they found out?  Do you attempt to pass?  If you do try to pass have you experienced autistic burnout from trying to pass?

Day 3.      Talk about relationships, both platonic and romantic.  Do you have anyone special in your life?  Have your relationships been affected by your being autistic?  Have you found it hard to make and maintain friendships?  Do you have a lot of friends or very few?  

Day 4.      Talk about your family and support.  Who in your life has helped you?  Have medical and mental health providers served your needs?  Do you feel like your family is supportive of you being autistic?

Day 5.      Talk about employment and your career.  What do you do to support yourself?  Are you on disability?  Was it hard to get or maintain?

Day 6.      Talk about music, art, writing, and other forms of creativity.  Are you a creative person?  What do you create?  Do you include autistic themes in your creations?  Does your creativity help you to deal with your autism?

Day 7.      Talk about community.  How are you treated by your local community?  Do you participate in any online communities?  How have they reacted to you being autistic?

Day 8.      Talk about traditional media.  Have you been influenced by autism themes in the media? Have you had to correct misinformation about autistic people that others got from the media?

Days 9 and 10 are a little different in that they have two prompts.  I know the issues that many autistic people have with autism speaks and with cure culture so for these days there is an alternative prompt should you feel uncomfortable talking about those topics.  You can answer either/both/any combination of the prompts that you wish and I’ve attempted to have the secondary prompts be more fun/lighthearted.

Day 9.      Talk about Autism Speaks.  Do you support them?  What’s your opinion about their policies? And/or  Talk about special interests.  Do you have a special interest?  What is it?  Feel free to infodump.

Day 10.  Talk about a cure.  What is your opinion about seeking a cure for autism?  Do you want a cure?  Why or why not?  And/Or  Talk about stimming.  Do you stim? How?  What are your favorite stims?  Do you have different stims for when you are happy or agitated?

Day 11.  Talk about sensory issues.  Do you also have sensory processing disorder?  What kind of clothes do you wear?  What foods do you eat?  Are you sensitive to light or sounds?  How do you deal with overstimulation?

Day 12.  Talk about ableism.  Have you experienced discrimination?  Have you been the target of hate speech or slurs?  Have you been a victim of abuse or violence?  What’s the rudest thing someone has said to you about autism or you being autistic?

Day 13.  Talk about something funny.  Has anything humorous or ironic ever happened to you because you were autistic?

Day 14.  Talk about role models.  Who are your role models?  How have they influenced you?

Day 15.  Talk about identity.  How do you identify?  Autistic?  Asperger’s?  Person with Autism?  What’s your take on person/identity first language?

Day 16.  Talk about treatment.  Have you been through any therapies?  What ones did you like?  Which ones didn’t you like?  Do you think autistic people need therapy for their autism?

Day 17.  Talk about empathy.  Many people think autistics do not have empathy.  What’s your experience with empathy?  Are you hyper empathic or not empathic at all?  

Day 18.  Talk about functioning labels.  What is your opinion about functioning labels?  Where are you on the spectrum?  If you don’t like functioning labels how would you describe your functioning ability?

Day 19.  Talk about your struggles and strengths.  What things are difficult for you because you are autistic?  What are the positives of being autistic?  Do you have a special skill or talent?

Day 20.  Talk about communication.  Are you verbal? Nonverbal? Partially verbal?  How do you usually communicate?

Day 21.  Talk about comorbid conditions.  Do you have any other disorders commonly related to autism?  Were you misdiagnosed as something else first?

Day 22.  Talk about autism parents.  How do you feel about this section of the community?  Do you feel as if they speak over you?  Do you find the term ‘autism parent’ rude or offensive?

Day 23.  Talk about your living situation.  Where do you live?  Do you live alone or with other people?  Are you happy with your current living arrangements?

Day 24.  Talk about the stereotypes and misconceptions that neurotypicals and allistics have. What stereotypes have you heard about autism?  How do you respond to people who have incorrect stereotypes about autism? What kind of things should people not say to autistic people?  What’s something you wish NTs/allistics knew about autism?  

Day 25.  Talk about meltdowns/shutdowns.  Do you have them?  How often?  What are your triggers?

Day 26.  Talk about echolalia and scripting.  Do you use echolalia?  What about scripting?

Day 27.  Talk about eye-contact.  Do you make eye-contact?  Why or why not?  Does it make you uncomfortable?

Day 28.  Talk about autism as a disability.  Do you think autism is a disability or a difference? Or both?  Do you feel more disabled by society than by your autism?

Day 29.  Talk about executive functioning.  Do you experience executive dysfunction?  How do you deal with it?

Day 30.  Talk with pride. Are you proud to be autistic? How do you show the world your pride?

OKAY BUT WHY: 67 questions that have popped into my head in the past 24 hours

In stream-of-consciousness order:

1. Skull hell.
2. Why kill Mary if she’s good
3. Why was the hospital dedicated in 2044
4. Why is he writing the blog post about the baby being born in an image file befORE THE BABY WAS BORN
5. What the hell was John’s letter to Sherlock and why do we never hear anything about it again
6. Why was the lady Carmichael mirror so perfect we could predict actual dialogue lines (“You promised!”)
7. Why did TAB “PROVE” Moriarty was dead when it only proved you need a friend to help you make the blood splatter
8. WHO WAS TAKING CARE OF THE BABY WHEN EVERYONE HE KNOWS IS AT THE THERAPIST’S HOUSE
9. How did John get out of the stupid well if his fucking feet were chained to the bottom
10. Why does a gun go off at the end of TLD, but in TFP it’s a tranquilizer
11. Why bring up that romantic entanglement “would complete you as a human being” if you don’t return to it
12. How did Mary jump in front of a bullet, and why is her death scene just like the “Hollywood deaths” that they criticized when Sherlock was shot
13. Why did nobody know who John was in TLD when in THoB everyone knew it was his blog (he fucking writes it in the first person)
14. Why is the blog stopped since S4 starts
15. How does EVERYONE know the story of the Merchant of Samarra when it’s not actually that common
16. How does Mary know to call him a Dragonslayer
17. How did Sherlock know that Ghost!Mary was saying he should wear the hat
18. How did John make the deduction about how Sherlock figured out how he knew which therapist he would choose and when he’d be there
19. How did John have an affair with a woman but he DOESN’T RECOGNIZE HER WHEN SHE’S SITTING RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM AT THERAPY
20. Why has Mycroft been so clearly linked to Moriarty
21. Why set up that footage of a shooting can be altered
22. Why have Culverton say that line about revealing your secret to your friends when it’s completely irrelevant thereafter
23. How did Lastrade know about Sherlock killing Magnussen anD MARY’S PAST
24. If Mycroft knew who Mary is then why didn’t he ever say anything
25. What happened to the stupid black pearl
          a. What’s the point of DI Hopkins
26. Mirrors
          a. You will John-style never convince me that these mirrors were a lie
27. Making history? What history
28. Promos
          a. Sitting in the “married ones” room with the burnout in the shape of an                anatomical heart
          b. “Sherlock’s in love, but with who”—is this really just to be cruel
29. How does Mary know where to go when he texts “the curtain rises” but texts John the actual address
30. Let’s talk about the mysterious crypt lair that Sherlock has for ONE SCENE and then never returns to
31. How come the Six Thatchers was already a different case they had done on the blog
32. Vatican Cameos
33. Umbrella sword gun
34. James or John
35. Mrs. Turner next door has got married ones
36. What was Sherlock going to say on the tarmac
37. What couldn’t John tell Ella after Sherlock died
38. And why does Sherlock go to see Ella and talk about a recurring dream in a weird ass attic office but it never comes back around
39. Gerridebs is their favorite case but it’s made into the biggest “no homo” joke
40. Why be obsessed with Sherlock’s sex life
41. Why does the AGRA drive look different
42. How do you survive being exploded from a second story flat with no injuries
          a. You. Don’t.
43. How can you possibly redeem Euros after everything she’s done
44. Why did Euros have a random breakdown in the middle of her grand plan—ALSO THE WHOLE PLANE MAKES NO SENSE
45. Why were people not more worried about how she killed Victor
46. “Drowned Redbeard”—an ACTUAL CHILD was missing and the suspect said this and they didn’t think to check all the fucking wells
47. How did his family all agree to pretend that Redbeard was a dog and never mention his sister ever again
48. WHERE IS MORIARTY’S BODY
49. Euros appears to have super mind-control powers?
50. WHAT ABOUT THE FREAKING MEMORY DRUG
51. Why has every episode been focused on how relationships are more important than the stories, but then Video!Mary is all like “relationships don’t matter because YAY detective stories”
52. Why did Euros just leave John after she tranq’d him
53. Whole episode is about how his childhood is what makes Sherlock who he is but ends episode with “but who you are doesn’t really matter”
          a. Great man -> good man? Eh. Doesn’t really matter.
54. The camera error in TST
55. How did they get onto the boat? A helicopter? Why not just take it to the island? How did Sherlock get inside as a member of the team? They only found John and Mycroft
56. How was the chess game promo a spoiler
57. Why was he using twitter in TST but then John was surprised he was on social media in TLD
58. Lamp hell.
59. What was the lie in TLD
60. Why was the episode called the final problem? The final problem was established to be to burn the heart out of him
61. Why is the static in Sherrinford a weird waterfall
62. Why did Sherlock paste John’s face on the Vetruvian Man (okay this wasn’t S4 but also I CANNOT LET THIS GO)
63. Why wasn’t Euros in the family video and why did noBODY EVER BRING HER UP IN SHERLOCK’S LIFE AGAIN— “Euros may have been my daughter but Sherlock seems to want to forget she existed entirely so let’s all pretend we didn’t have a daughter”
64. Why are all the villains textually queer
65. Who is the woman in the photo who was looking out the window holding an elephant
66. Why did Sherlock say that Mary destroyed the AGRA drive, when it was John
67. 26 pages of dialogue.

Add ur own! 

I dont even know your name

Pairing: Tom holland x reader

Summary: Inspired by the song I don’t even know your name by Shawn Mendes (x). In which Tom meets a cute fan and falls for her, but she is gone before he even realises it.

word count: 1609

Masterlist

Tom was tired. All he wanted was to go to starbucks, get some tea and then get back to his place and rest a little before work, however things were not going as planned. He had arrived next to Harrison, however after a couple minutes there, he realised people were staring.

The Spiderman movie wasn’t out until next week, however many people seemed to recognize him as they approached him for photos. It was always nice meeting fans, but it had gotten crazy.

According to Harrison someone had posted a photo with him on twitter and suddenly a huge crowd was outside the cafe, hoping to get a photo with Tom.

He decided it was probably better to just get over with the drama and get outside, after all, he was nothing without his fans. He stepped out of Starbucks, greeting everyone as they approached him, screaming for his attention. He got a couple photos done before he tried to head towards his car, bumping accidentally into someone.

“Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t looking”

“Don’t worry abo- Oh my god! You’re Spiderman! I mean- Peter- wait no- Tom holland!”

The girl in front of him had turned completely red and stumbled upon her own words, trying to make a complete sentence without making a fool of herself, obviously failing. She was a couple inches shorter/taller than him and had this big expressive eyes, that were a thousand times bigger than usual as Y/n could not believe who was in front of her.

She had just gone for a coffee and to walk out her dog, but as she got closer she wondered why there was a big fuss. Now she knew why.

“The one and only”

“And you’re Harrison!”

“Ohh! You recognized him!”

“Who wouldn’t? He follows you everywhere”

Both guys laughed as Harrison noticed her little dog

“Your dog is really cute! Tom loves dogs”

“Do you?”

“I mean- yes, my dog Tessa is like my best friend”

“Hey!”

Harrison now was acting offended by the comment, he was supposed to be the best friend. As he got his offended act going on he realised Tom was acting very strange, maybe a little nervous. Meanwhile Y/n girl had gotten a lot more relaxed, and was starting to act as her normal self.

Tom felt really comfortable with this girl, however she was so beautiful he felt his heart speed up and his cheeks warm up every time she looked at him. Harrison decided to step in a little and help Tom out, seeing as he was into the girl.

“Sooo, who’s your favorite superhero?”

“Obviously Captain America”

“I knew it- Wait what? Why him?”

Both boys had expected her to say Spidernam, however Tom was the most surprised to hear her answer. He had hoped she would be into him.

“Why not me?”

“Your movie isn’t even out yet! How am I supposed to know if I like it? Besides, Chris Evans? Yes please”

Both Harrison and the girl laughed at the expression on Tom’s face.

“She’s got a point mate- You’ve got nothing on Chris Evans”

The three of them laughed now. The girl was very nervous to ask for a photo, maybe he was in a rush? but she still didn’t wanted to lose her chance. She decided to just ask for it.

“I know you’re probably in a hurry, but could we take a picture?”

“Sure, give Harrison your phone, he’ll take it”

She handed Harrison her phone as she posed beside Tom. She had just expected a friendly photo, maybe a little shoulder touching, however Tom had hold onto her waist and brought her closer to him, giving her a side hug and another from behind for different photos.

“There you go, so, who’s your favorite superhero now?

“Still Captain America” The girl continued talking, seeing as Tom was about to protest again. “But, you come in a close second, maybe after the movie my ratings will change”

“I like the sound of that”

Harrison was getting a little impatient by Tom’s attitude. Why didn’t he just asked for his number? They were both into each other, God, he was a celebrity! He could have any girl he wanted! He decided to help, once again, to try to maybe get heer social media.

“How about I take a photo with Tom’s phone? He could post it and maybe tag you in-”

Harrison was interrupted as a group of giggly girls approached them, surrounding Tom and asking for photos, leaving Y/n outside the circle they made around the boys.

“It was nice meeting you!”

Y/n tried to get her voice above all the noise, however it was pointless. She didn’t want to feel down, however she couldn’t help it. What was she expecting? for them to become friends? He was just being polite. She decided to just head back home and maybe stare at her photos for a while.

Tom and Harrison were surrounded by a group of people trying to get their attention, however Tom wanted to find the girl desperately.

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know! I can’t see her!”

The crowd demanded their attention once more, getting them out of their thoughts. They spend the next 40 minutes taking pictures and talking to fans, until they finally made it to Tom´s car and drove away.

“Man I can’t believe I lost her- Did she just left?”

“I didn’t saw”

“How am I supposed to find her now? Did you see her? She was the perfect girl for me Harrison!”

The other boy rolled his eyes as he listened to his friend comments. Sure, she was really pretty, but why was Tom so into her? He’d never seen him act that way for anyone.

“I’m serious Harrison! She was the perfect girl! Not only is she insanely beautiful, but she is like, sarcastic, and funny and God!She likes dogs! We would be perfect together!”

“If you liked her so much why don’t you just tweet out her name? and like today’s scene? maybe she would see it and message you”

It suddenly hit Tom. He didn’t knew who she was. He had been so blown away by her that he didn’t even thought of asking for her number, let alone her name. He just felt like they new each other from long ago, asking for her name didn’t even cross his mind.

“I don’t even know her name”

“You’re like, the most stupid person I know!”

“Now I won’t ever find her”

The day kept going on as normal as always. He had some shooting left for a new movie. They were supposed to shot a couple blocks from Starbucks, so they headed there.

Tom did some of his scenes, however he kept redoing them. He knew he wasn’t bringing his A game today, but he kept getting distracted. He felt very confused; he knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t stop thinking about that girl.

She had just felt so refreshing. She didn’t try to impress him, or flatter him, she had just been herself. She looked a little nervous and flushed, however it just made her more beautiful to his eyes. She had worn a cute dress and her hair down, still he kept going back to the way her smile made his heart jump, especially as he had hold her in his arms. A perfect fit.

He tried to push away those thoughts as he prepared or another scene. He got outside his trailer and into the street they were shooting when he saw her.

She was giving him her back, and was heading in an opposite direction, however she was wearing the same sundress as earlier. He couldn’t keep his eyes apart from her, not even when the director called for his attention.

He had lost his chance once, he would not do it again. He got on his feet and started running towards her, trying his hardest to get to her. He speed up, losing his breath, but he was just so close.

“Wait!”

Tom screamed trying to get the girl’s attention, succeeding. She looked at him, taken back by the sound, however it was not who Tom expected.

She was not who he was looking for, it wasn’t the girl he had  been daydreaming since the morning.

“Sorry-I just- I thought you were someone else.”

Tom got back to filming and went straight to his home afterwards. He needed to be alone.

He had been so hopeful that it was her, however he was defeated. He didn’t want to think about her any longer, but every girl he looked at he could just see her bright smile and big eyes. He wanted, he needed to hold her once again, and maybe tell her how good it had felt.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t knew who she was, or where to find her, and even if he did, she’d probably think he was a creeper! He was starting to sound like one. But he didn’t care. Not as long as he didn’t had her.

She had just come and punched a hole right through his heart. If he didn’t believe in love at first sight before, he did now.

Probably what hurts the most was, that she wouldn’t even know how he felt, how much she had affected him. She would never know, and all because he didn’t knew her name.

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Bloody Mikaelson’s - Kol x Reader

Originally posted by lovekolmikaelsonstuff

Pairing: Kol x Reader

Prompt: Kol is jealous about you being affectionate with everyone but him. He decides to tag along when you go shopping to try and get you to like him more. Fluff and confessions ensue!

Warning: Smut (?)

ENJOY!!

****

You sat down next to Niklaus on the sleek leather couch, phone in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. As you lent against him, his arm automatically wrapped around your shoulders. You and Klaus were best friends, the kinda of friends that spoon at night and talk about relationship problems. You sighed contently as you sipped your coffee. Despite his psychotic tendencies Niklaus was the biggest cuddle whore ever.

“What the hell! Why do you cuddle Nik like that and not me?” You heard a childish voice ask, looking up you see Kol stood there his arms opened wide like he was waiting for an explanation.

“Because little brother if she did, you’d try something extremely unrefined.” You heard Elijah’s sophisticated voice chuckle. You smiled when Elijah bent down and place a loving kiss on your forehead. To Elijah and Rebekah you were like a little sister.

“More so than you already do.” Nik added smirking to himself as he took a sip of your coffee that you hadn’t even realised he’d taken. You shot him a glare taking your coffee back before glancing up at Kol who was just glaring at everyone.

“Elijah gets to kiss you! Nik gets to cuddle you! What do I get!?” He growled angrily.

“A punch in the face if you carry on Kol.” You grunted as you went back to reading a post you had seen on Facebook. You heard a deep smooth chuckle from behind you resulting in you throwing you head back, hanging upside down to see Marcel stood directly in behind of you. Meaning your face was about 5 inches away from Marcel’s crotch. You stared at the fabric covering his jeans trying to see the shape.

“Are you finished staring at my crotch Y/N.” Marcel snorted making you tilt you head slightly.

“I’m trying to see if the myths about black guys is true.” You replied bluntly before sitting up and turning to Marcel kneeling up so you were looking into his eyes.

“It’s not always true but in Marcel’s case it is.” You heard a smug voice add, you looked behind Marcel to see Rebekah stood there with a smirk. She threw you a wink and walked over to sit with you.

“Jesus Bekah you got the full package huh? Voice that’s makes your panties wet, ripped as fuck, looks to die for and a big dick.” She laughed at your dreamy voice making you smirk.

“Y/N I adore you however if you could refrain from talking with my sister about her boyfriend’s genitals I would much appreciate it.” Elijah sighed shaking his head lightly as he continued to read.

“Sorry ‘Lijah, Nik.” You added knowing he was probably uncomfortable too. You scrolled through your Instagram liking a few picture along the way before you felt someone trying to shuffle there way between you and Klaus. You knew it was Kol straight away.

“Kol what are you doing?” You huffed making him stop moving as he settled down next to you. Earning himself a glare from Klaus.

“I’m coming to cuddle! I deserve affection too!” He exclaimed pairing his enthusiasm with a cheeky grin.

“Really Kol? I mean really?” You deadpanned making him shrug.

He wrapped his arm around you resulting in an eye roll on your part. You weren’t the closet with Kol, mainly because you never really spoke, not because you didn’t like each other. He irritated you and teased you but you knew it was all in good fun. You didn’t move away from his arm but you didn’t snuggle into him like you did Niklaus and sometimes Elijah. Elijah liked to cuddle on occasions, mainly when he was stressed. You continued scrolling through your Instagram, seeing a racy lingerie photo posted by one of the photographers you follow. You smiled and opened the comment box.

‘This is beautiful Jason.’ You commented on the photo before look at the picture again. It might be a lingerie photo but the way it was taken was art not sexual.

“Ooo I think you should do a photo like that and give it me for my birthday!” You heard Kol say from right next to you. You unwrapped his arm from you and moved to the opposite couch were Elijah was sat.

“Dammit come on Darling I was only joking!” Kol whined like a child who had just had his favorite toy taken from him. You didn’t respond instead picking up a pillow from the couch and throwing it at him. He caught it with ease and grinned very much resembling the Cheshire cat.

“Kol what did you do this time?” You heard a soft voice ask from behind you. You knew by the voice that it was Freya but you decided to drop Kol in it.

“He asked me for lingerie pictures for his birthday.” You pouted angrily as you looked at Freya with slight puppy dog eyes.

“Kol Mikaelson! That is no way to treat a lady!” Elijah and Freya shouted at the same time, I smiled at how much they were a like sometimes and turned to Kol who looked like he was ashamed in what he had just said.

“Sorry Y/N.” He muttered softly making you feel bad for ratting him out.

“It’s okay Kol. Anyway I’m going out today so I’ll see you guys later!” You hopped off the couch before you were stop by Niklaus.

“Where are you going?” Nik asked looking up from what he was doing.

“I’m going shopping. I realised I haven’t got much and I’ve been borrowing Rebekah’s clothes since I got here.” You smiled at him sweetly before leaning down and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Can I come with you?” You heard an unexpected voice ask. You looked over at Kol in surprise but nodded anyway because maybe it would do you some good to bond with Kol. After getting ready you met Kol in the courtyard, double checking you had your credit card and phone. Once you were sure you had them you nodded at Kol who offered you his arm. You smiled sweetly and took his arm gently before you both made your way out onto the bustling streets of New Orleans.

You stopped at the first shop and Kol had yet to let go of your arm which you found extremely endearing. As much as he was cheeky he was still a Mikaelson which meant he had to be at least 5% gentleman. You picked up a few different colored pairs of jeans, a few pairs of plain black leggings, some skirts and shorts before handing them to Kol who let go of your arm to help. You next went to get some plain vest tops, some crop tops and a few different types of blouses. You knew you and Bekah would most likely have a shopping spree soon so you only bought things you needs. Next you grabbed things like socks and tights, you tried to pay for them but Kol refused to let me and gave the woman his card. Kol took them bags from you and held them all in one hand before offering you his arm once again which made you grin threading your arm with his once again.

You laid your head on his bicep as you made your way to the nearest shoe shop. You strolled in with Kol and picked up a few different styles of heels and only 2 pairs of flats. One pair was running shoes and the other were a pair of sandals. You usually wore heels so you didn’t usually buy flats. They were only for when it was too hot and you couldn’t be bothered with the strain heels had on your feet. Once again Kol ignored your pleas to stop her paid for your shoes too. The last stop was a lingerie shop which made you snort slightly, remembering Kol’s teasing earlier. When you got inside you made your way to the simple 2 pieces sets. You looked the racks up and down before turning to Kol who unexpectedly looked quite uncomfortable.

You smiled reassuringly and quickly grabbed a few sets that you liked before making your way to the register, arm still linked with Kol’s. You set the stuff down smiling sweetly at the elderly woman behind the counter. Kol took out his card making me whine.

“Kol I can pay for them you don’t have to.” You sighed guiltily. He let out a chuckle grinning at you softly.

“I want to Darling.” He stated his pet name making you blush slightly.

“How long have you two been Married?” The little old lady asked as she accepted Kol’s card. You blushed further and was about to correct her but Kol nudge you and grinned.

“Not long.” Kol replied sweetly making you look at him with slightly widened eyes. After he retrieved the bags you made your way outside before you nudge him angrily.

“Why did you let her believe we were married?” You asked softly yet the hint of anger still evident in your voice.

“Because it’s not like we’re going to see her much and why spoil an old woman’s day by embarrassing her.” Kol stated with a small chuckle.

“So Mrs. Mikaelson how about we go get some food at the pub and then get all this stuff home?” He teased making you grin at his antics.

“Well if you insist Mr. Mikaelson.” You flirted. You grabbed some of the bags so you could intertwine your arms again which made him smile. After ate and laughed together you finally made it home Kol shouted at the top of his.  

“Y/N and I got married while we were out.” He knew his voice would reach everyone in the house and soon Nik and Rebekah came running out with wide eyes which made you laugh so hard you had to lean into Kol for support.

“You did what!?” Rebekah screeched making me laugh even harder.

“Yeah it was great there was sexy lingerie.” He nodded happily you saw the game he was playing and you decided to play along.

“Heels too die for.” I added nodding my head seriously.

“The dress she bought was absolutely beautiful.” Kol sighed dreamily almost making me crack.

“I contemplated getting my hair done but decided there wasn’t much point.” I shrugged.

“Oh and then we had a meal and a glass of wine!” Koll finished.

“Tell me you’re joking!?” Rebekah screamed her voice reaching the higher pitched stage. You looked at Niklaus who looked at you with wide eyes.

“But…But I had everything planned in my head!” Rebekah yelled making me and Kol look at her confusedly.

“Planned? Planned for what?” You asked cautiously.

“Yours and Kol’s wedding! Duhh!” She huffed angrily.

“What!?” You and Kol screamed in unison!

“We were joking Bekah! An old woman thought we were married and we didn’t correct her.” You replied laughing awkwardly.

“Oh okay that’s good because I planned everything.” Rebekah stated more calmly this type.

“Rebekah, Kol and I aren’t even dating…Why would we get married?” You asked looking up at Kol who just shrugged at you with wide eyes.

“I’m a woman that’s been around for 1000 years and I know that Kol is very clea-”

“Okay!!! That’s enough of that! Why don’t we go put your new stuff away?” Kol screamed interrupting Rebekah, his cheeks slightly flushed.

You shrugged it off and decided to follow Kol with the bags you were holding. Once you got to your room you fell forward onto the bed after dropping the bags. Kol fell onto it next to you, his warm brown eyes staring into your Y/E/C ones. You smiled sweetly at him before he reached over and tuck some of your hair behind your ear. You closed your eyes enjoying the feeling of his rough hand against your soft flesh. His hand lingered for a while before he pulled back making you almost whine at the loss of contact. You had been alive for over 200 years but Kol’s touch wasn’t like anything you’d felt before. It was gentle and loving, it undoubtedly made your heart flutter. You opened your eyes to see him staring at you like he had a question on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t find the courage to voice it. Which you found ironic since he was usually so sure of himself.

You smiled at him shyly knowing full well you had a blush covering your cheeks. His hand reached back out but this time it gently cupped your cheek. You nuzzled into his hands before looking back into his eyes. You had both somehow rolled onto your sides in a loose fetal position, knees touching slightly. His thumb circled you cheek gently before he spoke up.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” He whispered softly, looking into your eyes as he spoke. You didn’t respond just looked at him waiting for him to reach over. He sat up leaning on his elbow as he lent down and brushed his lips over yours. You reached between your bodies your hand gently gripping his t-shirt. You finally felt you lips meets and it was like you heart was beating so fast it would leap out of your chest, your stomach was going wild with the strength of the butterfly’s you were currently experiencing. After a few minutes of tender kisses he pulled away slowly. You sighed happily as his eyes met yours once again. He laid back down on his side.

“Y/N I think I’m in love with you.” His voice was timid and scared you would reject him but his confession only made you heart leap with happiness. When you didn’t say anything he started getting up which made you panic.

“Kol…” He turned round to look at you, sadness in his eyes.

“W-Will you please make love to me?” You asked timidly a blush bracing your face once again.

“I know I’m not in love with you yet but you make my heart beat louder than it ever should, when you kissed me I felt like everything disappeared so if you give me time I think I could fall in love you…If I haven’t already…” You whispered your eyes meeting his as he stared at you with the biggest grin you’ve ever seen him were but this time it was filled with love and hope.

He rushed over to you as you knelt at the end of the bed. His lips crushed against yours his emotions bursting out through the kiss. His hands cupped both your cheeks, your hands were gripping his t-shirt as he gently laid you down. He hovered over you, his body on top of yours but not uncomfortable. You gripped his biceps as you whimpered into the kiss, your heart was going a mile a minute. He broke the kiss only to trail soft kisses down your neck causing you to shiver. His hands slid to the hem of your shirt tugging it slightly he looked up at you as asking for permission, you nodded biting you lip which made him groaned.

You both sat up so he could pulled you top off tenderly. You tugged his top off and dropped it on the floor before taking your bra off and letting it join the pile of clothes by your bed. He gazed at you appreciatively before laying you back down. His lips were soon kissing slowly down your neck to you breast before taking one of your nipples into his mouth gently swirling his tongue while using his left hand to caress your thighs. You let out a soft moan as he moved to your other nipple showing it the same affection.

His hand finally made its way to the button on your jeans. He undid the button before pulling away for my breast, pulling down your jeans and plum coloured lace that was under your jeans. He let them poll on the floor before kissing your stomach softly, his hands sliding up your thighs. You gasped as his thumb found its way to your clit, his kiss slowly getting closer to your appending arousal. You hummed in appreciation as his thumb made small delicate circles on your clit.

His lips moved to your thigh before kissing up until it reached your sex. His breath brushed over your dripping heat before it finally made contact. It started of slow and seductive but soon turned so dominant and fast. You were a writhing mess of moans and panting as you felt you orgasm approach. His tongue dip inside you a few time before it continues its assault on your clit.

“K-Kol gonna cum..” You panted as you felt your end coming nearer with every move of his tongue.

“Let it go baby…I got you.” He whispered sweetly his finger slowly entering you, curling to reach your most treasure spot. He went back to kitten licks as his fingers did the rest of the work.

“F-Fuck Kol feels so good…” You whined. You were so close to the edge you would practically taste it. And finally you fell.

“M’ cumming Kol…Holy shit!” You moaned loudly you hand clutching the bed sheets as your back arched up, your mouth falling open in a silent scream of pleasure. Koll pulled back and stared at your with a small smile.

“Good you look beautiful when you cum.” He leaned over and kissed your forehead gently. You were still panting at he pulled back undoing his jeans. You reached over as soon as his member was free but he stopped you shaking his head making you frown.

“Not that I don’t want your hand or mouth wrapped round…It’s just I feel need to feel you right now.” That sentence should have sounded dirty but when Kol said it, it sounded like pure love. You nodded and opened your legs further, he slid in between them. You slid your arms round his neck embracing him like he was breakable. He kissed your lips tenderly and he lined himself up with your entrance. You were panting slightly, gripping onto him tightly. He slid himself into you at an agonizingly slow pace but you knew this wasn’t him fucking you. This was him showing you how much you mean to him and that was better than a quick fuck.

“F-Fuck!” He swore his head resting against the point where your shoulder and neck meets. His breathing was heavy and he was gripping the sheets tightly. You knew he was trying to control himself so you cupped his cheeks and brought him up so you were face to face. You stared into his eyes as if tell him ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re doing so well’. He gave you a shaky smile and began slowly thrusting into you. You gripped onto his shoulders as your breathing started getting heavier as well. He changed his angles so he could hit your g-spot which made you arch up and whimper at the amount of love and pleasure you were feeling all at once.

Once you collected yourself slightly. You move you both into a different position so you could be closer. Kol sat on the edge of the bed, his legs hanging off the bed. You were sat in his lap, your chest and forehead pressed against his as you continued to move your hips. You were thrusting forward instead of up and down so your clit was gently rubbing as his pubic bone with every thrust. You threw you head back letting out a moan, Kol’s lips going straight to you throat placing soft wet kisses on the hollow of your throat. You started to feel yourself building steadily, moaned husky moans and panting getting loud with each thrust.

“Y/N I’m c-close..” Kol panted against your throat making you shutter out a breath.

“Me t-too…Cum with me…” You stuttered before letting out another choked sob. Your pace got slightly fast as your orgasm was finally reaching its peak. You pulled back and look into Kol’s eyes, His left hand cupping you cheek and he stared at you with so many unspoken words. His brows were furrowed and his eyes kept trying to shut as he neared his end. One arm wrapped around his neck and the other placed on his chest.

“I’m c-cumming..” You whispered against his lips your panting loud and deep. He nodded letting you know he was too you gasped as you finally came, your walls clenching around Kol triggering his orgasm.

Once you had ridden out your orgasms, Kol picked you up with shaky legs and laid you on the bed carefully. He crawled under the covers with you and pulled you into his chest, kissing you hair lovingly.

“I love you Y/N and I’ll wait forever if it means you’ll love me back.” Kol’s stated his voice was quiet and spent after earlier activities.

“It won’t take as long as you think…” I muttered into his chest before placing a kiss on his chest bone.

BANG!!

“It’s about bloody time!” Rebekah screamed as she slammed to door open.

“For the love of all that is bloody holy! Rebekah get out!” Kol screamed making you jump slightly which made him look down at you.

“I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to make you jump…” He muttered apologetically.

“It’s okay. Nik! Can you respectfully drag your lovely sister…who I adore…out of my bloody room!” You screamed only making Kol chuckle but also making sure everything was covered before Nik came in. Nik soon came in and pushed Rebekah out the room but turn to look at us.

“I’m happy for you both. Hurt her Kol and I’ll dagger you.” Niklaus threatened before leaving the room and closing the door on his way out.

Bloody Mikaelson’s.

anonymous asked:

Holy shit I love your analysis' of Jimin and Namjoon!! Would you mind doing one for Jungkook as well? I know a lot of people were confused as to why Namjoon put him in Ravenclaw over Gryffindor/Slytherin.

Hello~

It’s really weird for me that you guys actually care about and value my opinions  on this whole business so thank you so much for giving my ramblings the time of day omg

for those who are wondering about my thoughts on gryffindor!namjoon and slytherin!jimin here’s the links to those:

Namjoon as a Gryffindor || Jimin as a Slytherin


So like, I really. really. really. love the idea of Ravenclaw Jeon. (But listen… I used to be a hardcore Slytherin!Jeon person okay, so I understand your feels on this. I do.) 

 here goes nothing

Ravenclaw Jungkook confused a lot of people. And I really get it because Ravenclaw was so fucking shafted in the books. 

We had so many Gryffindors and Slytherins to relate to, and we had a fair share of badass Hufflepuffs (TONKS) to base our opinions off of. But there were only a few Ravenclaws that were given the time of day in the books, and only one of those was a major character. We had Luna, Trelawney, Lockehart, and Cho. Cho’s amazing character was wasted by JK – she was written with the personality of a dish rag and didn’t really get the spotlight she deserved. Trelawney was presented as a crazy old lady who sometimes ?? served a purpose. Lockehart was an idiot. All we really had was Luna.

But it wasn’t just the characters. Ravenclaw has a really weird reputation. Before I wrote this, I asked a bunch of my casual and hardcore HP fan friends to tell me the characteristics they associated with each house. And I got pretty much what I expected:

  • Gryffindor: Leaders, brave, courageous, brash, strong
  • Slytherin: Cunning, resourceful, calculating, perfectionists
  • Hufflepuff: Loyal, kind, hard-working, determination, cheerful
  • Ravenclaw: Smart…?? they are… smart people?? They do things…….smartly……

Like for real. Whenever I asked people what traits they associated with Ravenclaw, all anyone was ever able to tell me was that Ravenclaws were supposedly smart. And that’s got a lot to do with the fact that when the sorting hat sings off about all the houses, it lists all these great traits for the other houses, but when it comes to Ravenclaw it says this:

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind.

And then the books go on to say that Ravenclaws are,

characterised by their wit, intelligence, and wisdom.

So maybe you’re like me, and I am REALLY guilty of this, but when I first read this in the books I kinda just thought these all meant the same thing. So maybe that’s where we got this idea that all Ravenclaws are good for are being smart.

But it wasn’t until I looked up the actual definition of each word that I realized these were all saying really different things:

Intelligence - the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.
Wit - a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humor.
Wisdom - the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.

^^^^this is just webster dictionary definitions here. The bolded words are the ones I want to focus on.

Skill. See – Ravenclaws are supposedly smart. But this doesn’t always have to mean BOOKSMART, and I think that’s where we had a lot of trouble with Jeon. No one is saying he is dumb or anything, but he’s no Namjoon.

Notable examples of this trait include Lockehart, who was pretty shitty at a lot of things, but had the street smarts enough to pass off his big whole scam for years and years, and was especially gifted in certain charms.

Then there’s Luna, who while shown to be really good at solving riddles, was also portrayed as really physically skilled. In Dumbledore’s Army, while being taught how to conjure a Patronus by Harry, Luna was the first to get it right. She was fourteen at the time, and was such a skilled witch that she was able to perform an incredibly difficult charm - that even adults had trouble with - after like…….mere minutes of teaching.

Does this sound like someone you know?? I’ll give you an example: Observe this VERY determined Hufflepuff not give up on his dreams and finally have all his hard work pay off… only for someone to come in and get it right almost instantly.

Or maybe… “Hey guys, this dance move you made up looks pretty cool – mind if I watch you do it like once and a half and then nail it instantly?”

And if you’re ever in doubt about just how skilled Jungkook is… remember that he turned down seven other agencies to join BigHit. That’s how many people were after him and recognized his talent. (This also ties in to my thoughts on the part about good judgement – Jungkook obviously saw a lot of potential in Namjoon and BigHit in general, so much so that he turned down tons of other companies to be there. He saw something a lot of other people did not… and it ended up being the best decision he ever made.)

But I think another really telling aspect of Jungkook’s Ravenclaw personality is that he isn’t always perfect at everything. He’s not always good at something right away – but that won’t stop him working really hard to get good

In Rookie King he was shown to be at the most pretty average at bowling. He wasn’t terrible, but he was about as good as you and I would be after playing a few rounds with a little luck. Well, Golden Maknae Jungkook could not stand to not be the best at something, so he mentions sometime later (13:10) that he’s hired a coach to teach him how to bowl…. and then just a few months later uploads a video of himself getting a strike like it’s no god damn big deal at all. And he looks pretty proud of himself too.

But all the major Ravenclaws were also shown time and time and time again as being a little…. scatterbrained. Luna, Lockehart, and Trelawney especially, and to an extent even Cho. And Jungkook is no exception. He’s… pretty gullible. And DEFINITELY scatterbrained.

But wit, intelligence, and wisdom are not the only three traits associated with Ravenclaw. There are a lot of other traits you may not really know about, because again – Ravenclaws were woefully under-represented in the series. There’s quite a few others listed for this house:

  • Creative
  • Individuality
  • Eccentric
  • Quirky
  • Jealousy/Envy
  • Competitive

So imma just go down the list because I’m really tired and I can’t made good word things rn

Creative

it’s no secret that Jungkook is a pretty talented artist. He’s a pretty damn good photographer too. (This will always be one of my favorite photos ever of Jimin – and Jungkook took it.) And he’s a talented lyricist as well. He’s an extremely good dancer and has a beautiful voice too – but you guys know this already.

Individuality

Take a look at how he expresses his individuality through his song covers.

Eccentric & Quirky

You guys thought the fact that Lockehart, Trelawney, and even heckin Luna were all in the same house was a coincidence? Ravenclaws are NOTORIOUS for being Extra™ . I’m not kidding! This is literally a personality trait of Ravenclaws that we overlook so often from these weirdos. And Jeon fuckin Jungkook invented the word eccentric:


you’d be here forever if i kept going so… you get the point. eccentric is jungkook’s middle name.

Jealousy/Envy

Jeonlous exists in this god forsaken fandom, and I ain’t gonna link it and open THAT can of worms, but if you’re feeling so inclined and care to enter the seventh circle of hell, feel free to look it up… but tread carefully.

Competitive

When I got the first ask about Ravenclaw Kook I had woken up at 3am and sleepily looked at my emails. I saw the ask and immediately had to jot down my ideas to keep for the next day, and all I managed to write in my sleep stupor was this

and then i promptly fell back asleep.

I was referring to this, and if you don’t feel bad for poor Jin in this situation I don’t know what to tell you. Jungkook is intensely competitive, even over small things like board games. He was so intent on winning that game that he literally assaulted someone five years his senior to sabotage them.

And then this is him trying to win a dance-off… doing the most, as usual.

And also?? He was literally banned from the gym because he was getting too buff. And look at him take out that guy in wrestling… and then demolish poor Jimin, the smallest member of BTS in arm wrestling when he could have… you know… let him win or something……

It’s a pretty well known meme within the fandom that Jungkook is competitive and always trying to outdo the others.



But when it comes down to it, Ravenclaws are still known for being smart, right? We can take all these other traits and apply them to Jeon but what about his brain?

He’s actually kinda smart. He is able to cover a song in perfect English even though he doesn’t speak the language all that well (but well enough to constantly correct others’ English and he’s good enough to tell you he’s really not all that interested in participating in English Time anyways)

And I mean…. he can outsmart the other members pretty well…………..


But I think one of the most important things to note about Jungkook being in Ravenclaw is to look at who sorted him, Namjoon: Namjoon himself gave Jungkook the nickname “Golden Maknae”. He is constantly saying that Jungkook can do anything, or watch this Jungkook can do this, or wow look at him go, or he’s so talented this and that. Is it really any surprise that Namjoon would put Jungkook in to a house known for being highly skilled when he believes no less of the kid?

Jungkook has some pretty Slytherin-like qualities – but tons of canon HP characters and the BTS members themselves have traits that are shared by all four houses. It’s just a matter of where he fits best.

I mean TL;DR, Jeon says it best himself:

gif credit: bwiskook

anonymous asked:

Hey this is just a request and I'm not paying for it or anything so feel free to take your time getting to this one but I've always wondered how the RFA would react if MC looked like the female version of Zen. White hair, red eyes, nice bone structure basically if Zen had been born a female he would've looked like MC but they aren't related to each other in any way. Have a nice day

✿ y’know, when i first got this, i had 0 ideas for it and then. and then jaehee’s section just hit me. after that i was so enamored by the image of girl!Zen dating the RFA that it just carried me on from there.

Thanks for the request! 

Yoosung

Yoosung is intimidated, and honestly, a bit overwhelmed.

You’re not quite Zen 2.0 - you’ve got different interests, a different personality, and aren’t quite as self-obsessed - but you really do look like a walking statue, with long, legs, flowing hair, and a fashion sense that could turn a man to stone. And you’re interested in him. Him. Little old plain Yoosung.

To say he’s sweating buckets would be an understatement. It’s like a torrential downpour.

It doesn’t help that he’s… always had a bit of a bro-crush on Zen - drinking together and getting all cuddly does that to you - and having feelings for you lets him express that in an uncomplicated way where he doesn’t have to think about his sexuality too much.

He gets kind of insecure sometimes, thinking that you’re too good for him - that, like Zen, you’re a natural star and should be with someone more suited to you. You laugh when he says that, tapping him on the nose and smiling at him. If you’re a star, than he is, too - your shooting star, your precious little comet that brings joy to the world.

Zen

zen is. zen is real confused.

On the one hand, you’re basically his ideal woman, because you’re athletic and the embodiment of physical perfection (given that you look so much like him and he’s a hot motherfucker). On the other hand, holy shit, you look a lot like him, are you SURE we aren’t related??? 

When you start flirting, Jaehee gets a little… weird about it. On the one hand, this reads like something straight out of those fantasies that she doesn’t want to admit to anyone she has. On the other, if you get together publicly, people might, er… get the wrong idea about you two, and spread rumors that are completely and entirely false.

Zen, in typical fashion, says fuck them. Not only are you smoking hot gorgeous and look amazing by his side, but you’re nice, and kind, and funny, and he’s not letting you go for anything in the world. 

Jaehee

The first time Jaehee sees your selfie, it’s when she walks into a conversation between you and Zen, when you’ve both discovered your uncanny resemblance and are bombarding each other with pictures of yourselves in various costumes and states of undress. You’re not an actor like Zen, no - you’re a gymnast, and much like the RFA’s favorite narcissist, you take absurd pride in your good looks and your elegant, ethereal form.

Oh, and your abs.

Your sweaty, muscley, perfectly formed abs.

(Here lies Jaehee, who imploded after being confronted by her rampant bisexuality.)

After Jaehee recovers (which takes awhile, because HOLY HELL, SO MANY PICTURES OF BOTH HIM AND YOU AND YOU ARE VERY??? VERY FLEXIBLE??? AND MAKE VERY NICE POSES??? AND OH MY GOD??? YOUR NOSE AND YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR JAWLINE ARE PERFECT???) she goes into a period of just. Disbelief. Completely flustered, uncomprehending disbelief because a.) she’s encountered a female version of sculpted perfection and b.) this goddess-like creature is SO NICE TO HER IT’S UNREAL. For weeks she is walking on air and not even Jumin’s workload can bring her down. Her feelings get a little more complicated when you start flirting with her, because this adds a completely new dynamic to the equation that she’d never once had with Zen, but she is So Incredibly and Absurdly Gay For You that she finds herself rendered a giddy schoolgirl when you so much as greet her in the chatroom.

It’s the first time she’s ever gotten to act like this in her entire life - just an innocent girl with a crush - and it’s incredibly endearing to see. Zen is so, so very proud.

Jumin

When Zen realizes that you look like him, he feels a sense of kinship to you, automatically assuming that you’ll think like him too. To his surprise, you don’t… because for some ridiculous reason, you get along perfectly with Jumin.

This takes Jumin off guard a bit, and he’s not entirely sure how to react to this Zen-lookalike getting his sense of humor when he’s so used to bickering with the silver-haired actor. But your fine, flowing locks remind him of his precious Elizabeth, so he decides to focus on that association instead of the belligerent guy who puts a bad taste in his mouth.

Jumin seems unusually interested in the idea of making you wear kitty things - kitty ears, kitty sweaters, kitty shoes - and Zen loudly and angrily complains whenever photos of you in your cat get-ups surface in the chatroom, because it feels like a betrayal of everything he holds dear. Jumin thinks this is amusing, and also finds himself so incredibly into your general aesthetic that he gets genuinely morose that Zen would never join in.

707

His fallen star!!! His angora rabbit!!! His alien from another dimension, who holds the milky way in her hair!

YOU’RE SO PRETTY.

Look, it’s basically canon that Seven thinks Zen is cute - look at how into sharing his photo he is. And now he’s got you? It’s like heaven! He’s so in love! Seriously, looking at you makes him giddy, because you’re just so incredibly striking.

His favorite past-time becomes getting you and Zen to dress up in matching outfits and then taking pictures of the pair of you. it’s endlessly entertaining to you, and you often convince Zen to indulge him because you like seeing Seven so happy.

baby pictures

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

REQUEST: Going to the house of Sebastian’s mum and she shows you pictures of him when he was little (and maybe the same but with you, only if you have time off)💕

WARNINGS: n/a

AUTHOR’S NOTE: n/a

Enjoy!


Parents were made to be embarrassing. You absolutely knew it.

You had finally brought Sebastian over to meet your family and they were ecstatic to finally meet the man who made you happier than ever.

Dinner went over perfectly. Your father approved of him and you mother adored him. They talked amongst each other like they had known one another for years. You couldn’t help but smile proudly as you watched and listened.

After dessert you all headed to the living room. On the way over, Sebastian spotted your high school graduation picture on the wall. He stopped in his tracks and stared at it. He thought you looked cute with your cap and gown on.

Keep reading

“So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. "If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.“ -Scout Burns

A Week in Montreal

Highly requested! This follows Millennial Love, Part 2 in my series I’m calling: “A Modern Love Story”! 

Preface/Summary:  A few weeks after Tom’s initial offer of meeting, you had finally agreed to visit him in Canada. A week of shenanigans ensues. 


“Flight 203 to Montreal, now boarding.” 

You anxiously grabbed your bag and waited in line, fiddling with your passport and boarding pass. Once you got onto the plane, you quickly texted Tom: “On the plane! Excited to finally meet you 😘” 

Wow, you thought. I’m finally meeting him. A wish that so many fans dreamed of was finally coming true. After his first mention of you coming to Canada was implanted into his brain, he asked you to visit weekly. Your refusals were due to your worry that your visiting would interfere with his work, and his rebuttal would always be that he “wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t want to see you.” 

You smiled, butterflies filled your stomach. Bless the internet, you said, really enjoying this feeling. How did this even happen? This is insane. Your phone vibrated with a text from Tom. 

“Perfect! Text me when you land, please. See you soon!!! ❤️ “

A couple hours later… 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

describe how each high school year by semester went for you

9th grade: We don’t call it a play date anymore, it is hanging out, hanging by our toes like wet lipped fruit bats, like jungle gym monkey kids. Young and swollen. Blood, immature blood, pink blood, fresh meat blood pepto bismol up the wazoo, and spit under my bed. Code names aren’t for spies, they’re for 14 year old girls with googley eyes, not that we needed them. Kevin and Grace, Ellie and Joshua, Paloma and Matt which is weird because I’m hot for him, and they kinda look like siblings. Pink shorts, black tights, Jimmy Eat World, pizza bagels and lucky charms under a fresh white linen morning like detergent sealed crust between my eyelids, you tore them open. I mean, not yet. But soon. I discover neon sex scenes, Sky Ferreira, and Skins and this is where the final hopscotch box stops; at the end of the subway platform. This is where I’m supposed to jump. Monkey balls fall on our heads as we walk home, and autumn leaves crunch like drum line snare beats. All godless girls with snakes and cherry lollipops and 9 millimeters pointed at our clits, Bend it Like Beckham under your itchy wool blankets, Alice’s mom thinks I’m cool, and I stay for dinner and crack some risky jokes like a fox among wolves. (I think he looks at me when I look away). Me and Hana FaceTime I take screenshots of her dancing with her cat. The girls who play soft ball in short shorts, the girls who call them sluts, the boys who watch. We dance through rainbows in the sprinklers on the way to the Homecoming dance and pretend we don’t care we don’t have dates. We’re floating in the cytoplasm, floating on the cotton candy overdose cause our parents drop us off at the bowling alley but we are too loyal to sneak out the back. We pool our money every Friday after school for the spring break road trip we’re going on when Hana gets a car, and one of us has lost our virginity, and none of us are scared of the dark.

Miss Budd yelled at me for not standing for the pledge of allegiance, and I was 4 years old again. My English teacher held me back, and held my hand, and gave me a safety pin for my missing button, and told me it would be. Okay.

10th grade: We were on the news that year. Cristo’s curls on KTLA, solemn, and not the boy cross eyed and high with his pants around his ankles. Suddenly we’re all standing up straight, suddenly we’re being told we can’t wear leggings because somebody posted a video of Penelope having sex with Max on Facebook. Suddenly we’re underground in the girls locker room (red varsity knee socks, Dina drowning the spider nests with Victoria’s Secret rose perfume, humid with shame and lesbian suspicion) holding our arms in front of our naked breasts, single file like ants for the syphilis test. The boys who drew penises in fire and salt on the soccer field grass, like druid frat boys, but not the boys who put gorilla glue in the classroom locks, and not the boys who wrote their hit list in the red pen on the back of Mr. Chan’s syllabus and ended up in court, who called in a bomb threat, just to get the test pushed back. We all took turns getting our ghosts exorcized in the principals office. It was pompeii and pandemonium, and nobody was safe, not even us girls sleeping wrapped in the dust of library encyclopedias. You moved away from me like I was illiciting the restless black dreams on your grandmas shitty air mattress. The sheets are clean enough, but this attic is haunted, you keep waking up in the middle of the night to your body sinking like a pirate ship caught by the Kraken, the floor gnawing at your bones again so you just. Got up. And slept somewhere else. My English teacher held me back, and told me I was a good writer but don’t be so angry, and I cried right there, and she gave me a kleenex from her Shakespeare tissue holder and I blew this stupid pain head first out of my nose. I never told you about that. Maybe if I had you would’ve felt bad for me and stayed a little longer. But you hung out with those buckwild kids under the spot by the willow tree, and it was easy. it was just snuffing out an annoyance. A mosquito licking the ruby of your earrings that you shooed away. Our birthstones were both rubies, you know, we were twin cancers with balmy skin and busted appendixes, the aliens took you once and the only explanation was a scar on your spine, and I reckon I should’ve known they’d come back for you.

(You are gonna tell your kids about these cherry cola years of golden suburbia, and midnight blue debauchery snapping teenage knees, and furrow your brow forgetting the name of the girl you spent the first two calling your best friend.) You cheered at football games. You got drunk with them at night, and you were bursting and missing teeth like a watermelon smile, you rubbed up against each other like cats they touched you in all the right places and you didn’t text me anymore. You went to sleepovers and posted photos on Instagram, I wasn’t invited, I thought this bullshit was supposed to stop happening in elementary school. All the things we thought would never happen, lockdown drills, fire drills, earthquake drills and we still weren’t prepared. It was. Pandemonium. It was. Chemical fires in Mr. Dow’s science class. And me and my plans were just. so fucking boring standing next to your cherry blossom hurricane. You didn’t wait for me after class anymore and I just. Looked so stupid trying to catch up. Blood, mature blood, cows blood in the manure for the roses to eat. Black blood, like storm sky, I dish out this milkshake I pick the scab and I lick the blood away. Thomas comes out and dubs himself the gay cliche, we walk home together on the yellow brick road, and we pray a tornado will land the school library on our corpses so we can die with those sparkly shoes on. Those ruby shoes on. The Fates gagged me with a pack of jolly ranchers. I got straight A’s while Rome was falling. Nobody has ever made me feel so small.

11th grade: New school. The kids talk different here. Depression in California is like getting a cold in mid-July. So ironic it’s almost insulting. I’m pretty sure it was raining all year, but don’t count on it, I lived sub-terrestrialy with my mothers tulip bulbs. Today’s Wednesday? I thought it was Friday? I thought yesterday was Sunday? Depression in California is like running after a rabbit in the woods. It doesn’t matter how sunny it is, you will suddenly look up and it’s night, and the trees are not your friends, even when they are as skinny and shaky as you. You will get stuck in the swamp, leave your shoes behind, and not even remember why you were out here in the first place.

Headache. Stomach ache. Lots of those, those are easy to fake. Menstrual cramps, vomiting, gut wrenching, kinda vomiting. A personal favorite. I got to get my hands dirty for that one, I got to reach for the gag reflex like a remote control and press fast forward and feel my arc capsizing, until the static buzzed and I was pale like southern gothic tragedy, I’m not bulimic I just don’t wanna go to school. Depression in California is like an abandoned zoo. Everything echoing animal shrieks. They set them free but the cages were empty long before that. I make some friends, nice ones who laugh at my jokes, and I feel like I should get a sticker for it, but I do more nervous shaking than laughing.

Depression in California is like a badly maintenanced carnival. We’ve gone around the ferris wheel 8 times now and nobody seems to notice. The cotton candy polluting my blood, running slow and globby while the kids below spin, the kids drop, the kids could die, but they just giggle hand in hand with smiling clowns who pump them full of teeth rotting sweets, the winking lights are blurry this far away, and it feels like eons before we’ll get back to the bottom. I’m out of tokens. I think I’m just gonna jump.  

12th grade: Trump won. I think I might like girls. My dad jokes about his own death so I know what it means to be angry now, like femurs forged from the goddamn ring of Isildur. Is this what’s normal now? Fucking boys who are oil slick and easy living, and lose my socks in their dorm rooms? Meet them for diner food and xans on the weekend, and everything just temporary? Is that just what everybody wants now? My brother got a green card marriage, but I guess he loves her for real now. We watch the Walking Dead until the streetlights glaze over our eyes, he asks me if I have a boyfriend, no. If I’ve had any since I last saw him, no. If no is my favorite word, yes. Thing is I’ve never been anyone’s girl cause I’ve got a volcano where I should have a stomach. I know what it is to live on the red planet. But I ignore all that and go to concerts that bleed beer and swoon for boys who drink the blood. I guess we’re used to falling off of things so we do it on purpose now. It’s not over but I know how it’s gonna end. Cracked skull, and police lights. And to the break of dawn on Brandon’s roof, boxers stained with mayonnaise, and Deadpool is probably his favorite movie or some dumb white boy shit like that. I’m not gonna cry when I leave for college, I’m gonna cry at the car rental watching the sun bleed out on the trees. I’m gonna cry in the knothole of an oak tree, hiding from the freshman mixer party in the woods I knew I shouldn’t have come to once the social anxiety starts clawing up soaked in the gallon of strawberry Crush I downed to calm myself down. You know, in some other parallel universe, my parents never divorced and we dispute where the sugar pantry should be at inopportune times, and I don’t straight jacket myself with the echoplex sound of my mother screaming over my dead body just to not inhale the chlorox under the sink. I was so bloody, I just wanted to be clean.

I thought it was like the 80’s, the rusty exhaust pipe of Matt’s car turning the snow black while he’s wasting time daydreaming of my piston pumping sloppy hips, and rumored things that happen in the backseat, and kicking cans in no particular direction, and first love sticky and first love stabbed into your kidney and you never really recover. I thought it was sixteen candles, and say anything, but it’s getting bloodshot squirrelly smoking hash in the disabled bathroom stall. It’s a personality disorder grown up from the ground like a mushroom that is poison to the touch, and thrown away birthday presents, and valentines day balloons stuck in the trees. It’s dropping the last slice of college acceptance celebration cake on the floor for your dogs breakfast, and cartoon rain puddles for eyes talking about how scary it is to drive on the freeway. Karina and Maddie rough housing like pit bulls in fifth period cause we don’t do shit in that class and pretending that we are not all gonna be strangers in 6 weeks before we. Before we. Please don’t make me say it out loud.

My English teacher held me back, and told me to make up the quiz I missed, and that was the only time I will ever be happy that some strangers just stay that way. And Daddy, I will miss you when you leave me, and Daddy I will meet you in the next life you just gotta wait for me ok?

I am not the kind of girl people have crushes on. I am the kind of girl who can survive 18 stealing food from parties, couch surfing, living like a lightning bolt. There one minute, and gone the next.

9

Orangie Sungjong Aesthetic 

(Thanks to @soooldout for tagging me)