I FEEL TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE

All of this “Too Close To Call” is a serious punch in the gut. I am not naive, I know there are horrible people out there, but I honestly believed Clinton had this in the bag. I didn’t think it was possible that people who supported Trump could come close to matching her numbers. I am floored that this is happening and my heart is literally breaking. Tears streaming down my face as I type and I feel like I can’t breathe because there are that many people out there who hate me and hate so many wonderful people out there that only want to be loved and treated as equals. This is fucking destroying me. Even if she wins, the numbers are telling me how terrible this country truly is. I can’t…this is too much guys. This is too fucking much. 

I want to be there.

I want to be there so that I can hold you every time you’re sad. I want to be like a dreamcatcher and fight off every bad thought you could have. I want to be the one to make you feel better even in your darkest moments. I want to be there.

I want to be there so that I can feel the curve of your lips against mine. I want to be able to feel your breath on my skin and feel your fingertips against mine. I miss the feeling I got when you pulled me closer to you. I want to be there.

I want to be there so that we can laugh again. I want you to tickle my sides until tears stream down my face and I can’t breath. I want to do something so dumb that your stomach will hurt from all the laughter. I want to be there.

Most of all I want to be there because I miss my best friend. I miss my person. I want to never feel alone because I know you’ll always be there. I want to go on adventures with you that will become the greatest stories. I want to do stupid things with you while we can still get away with it. I just want you.
I want to be there.
—  4am

I usually make very lighthearted silly comics on here to share my new-found life and happiness with you guys and the world, but today, I want to shed light on a very heartbreaking tragedy.

Leelah Alcorn, a teenage girl from Ohio, died on December 28th, she left a suicide note. From the note, I learned that Leelah was transgender, just like myself; she felt very hopeless and alone, just like I’d once felt; her parents were very uneducated and ignorant, just like mine used to be. When I read that Leelah finally realized who she was at the age of 14 (almost a decade earlier than me) and how she cried of happiness, tears started streaming down my face. I remember that liberating and awesome feeling so well, because that was just a year ago for me. Soon after, I began my transition process and started regularly making TransGirlNextDoor comics. However, Leelah never got a chance to transition; she never got a chance to hear a stranger call her by her correct pronouns; she never got a chance to grow her hair out, or decide not to grow them out because she thought short hair rocks better on her…

“The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living… because I’m transgender.” I was absolutely devastated when I read this in Leelah’s note. My heart shattered into pieces. I wanted to give her a giant hug, I wanted to tell her that it isn’t true, I wanted to tell her that she can and will live a happy and wonderful life… but how can I convince a transgender kid that their life is full of promises when there is so little transgender representation on TV? When there are not enough uplifting and positive trans stories in the media? Where there’s still a huge chunk of society that sees us trans people as freaks? Things need to change, classes need to be taught, laws need to be made, and more love need to be shared and passed around. Everyone needs to know that there is absolutely Nothing wrong with being transgender.

I want to end my 2014 with Leelah Alcorn’s story, and with so many stories of other transgender and gender non-conforming kids, teens, and adults just like Leelah’s. I want us to remember them. I want us to keep on fighting for equality and justice for them; and for us, and for everyone else. If you’re transgender/gender non-conforming and you feel hopeless about your future and you want someone to help you or talk to, please call:

Transgender Lifeline (USA): 877-565-8860

Lastly, my name is Kylie, I am a transgender woman. I’m 24 years old, I’m a working illustrator and animator, a surfer, a comic doodler, an avid nap taker, a shameless dirty-joke teller, and I’m a #RealLiveTransAdult.

On days where running sucks, I try to remember all of the reasons that keep me going. This crazy sport is a true test of patience, self-discipline, and heart.
When I feel down, I think of the races where my mom was waiting for me at the finish line, arms wide open, tears streaming down her face because she “had no idea I could run this fast”.
I think of the last 200 meters of my conference championship 10k, and my coach sprinting from one side of the track to the other screaming “Hannah, you’re gunna break them! You can do it!”
I think of hearing my name being called by the announcer as I moved into second place at Raleigh Relays.
I think of the 13 mile runs where I felt like I was flying, that were just me, my crazy mind, and the road.
I think of the feeling of getting my All-American medal put around my neck for the first time. I think about what it was like to hold it in my hands, and take pictures of me wearing it.
I think about the good times, but I think about the bad times too. It’s easy to do it because of all the good times. But remembering the days of mile repeats on the track under the hot summer sun are important too.
I remember collapsing onto the track after a terrible workout.
I remember tempo runs that felt arguably harder than racing a 10k.
I remember how badly and how many times I wanted to stop, but I didn’t.
I never quit.
And no matter what I achieve, or what accolades I earn, none will ever match the tremendous amount of pride I have in the fact that I built myself up to where I am now.
This was all me. I dedicated myself. I spent every single day of the past 3 years working towards this and I never gave up. And that is the greatest accomplishment of all.

You know what? I’m scared you’re are going to leave, and I always will be scared. That’s why I need that text in the afternoon, that’s why I need that like when we do a selfie-challenge, that’s why I will say sorry for every stupid thing I do. That’s why I don’t want you to see me eat, that’s why I don’t want you to see me when I remove my make-up, that’s why I don’t talk to you when you’re with your other best friend (she doesn’t like me, I get that. She is jealous and it sucks), that’s why I will walk away when I feel jealous or when I need to cry. That’s why I say there’s nothing wrong when the tears are streaming down my face. You might say you like me, you might tell me that I don’t know how much you actually love me, it’s not going to help. That necklace you gave me for valentines day? I wear it everyday and I will keep on wearing it. But I’m so scared you will see a side of me you don’t like, that you will realize it’s not worth it. And losing you as a love will suck, but I’m mostly scared to lose you as a friend. I want you next to me on my wedding day, as a man of honor or maybe as my husband. You have a piece of my heart, always.

Imagine being the first person that Loki visits after he escaped from his prison.
He’d just stand in front of you suddenly. You two would look at each other for some seconds in complete silence until he pulls you into a deep hug, you smiling and some tears of joy streaming down your face.
“I missed you, my love”
“I missed you too, Loki”

anonymous asked:

i dont know if you're taking prompts right now but i just found out that my granddad has cancer and he's not gonna make it. i'd just really appreciate the ABSOLUTE FLUFFIEST thing you can think of. if not something new recs would be awesome too. i kinda feel bad asking but it might help idk sorry

[I’m so sorry to hear the bad news, my thoughts go out to you and your family during this time. There’s a fluffy reclist here, but I wrote you something too.]

“BATMAN!" 

It takes Derek a second, then he remembers he’s in costume. He turns, but it isn’t a con-goer who wants to take a picture of his cosplay, but actually what looks like a little girl dressed in a TARDIS outfit with tears streaming down her face.

"Hi,” Derek says as she launches herself at his knees, hugging tightly. He looks around, but he doesn’t see anyone that looks like her parents or a guardian. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“I can’t find my mom and dad,” she says, wobbling. “Batman, will you help me?" 

What Derek probably should do is take the girl to the nearest convention staff, but he can’t see anyone wearing a staff t-shirt near him, and he doesn’t really have anything else to do right now. “Sure,” Derek says, and the girl nods resolutely. 

"I’m Jessie,” she says. “And I know you’re Bruce Wayne, but I promise I won’t tell anyone." 

Derek takes her hand and asks her where her parents were last, what they were wearing, what panels they had planned to go to, hopefully to get a clue where they might be. They end up walking through Artist’s Alley, and luckily Jessie has calmed down and is actually enjoying looking at the various people’s cosplays and the merchandise. 

Derek’s actually having a pretty good time too; Jessie is talkative and funny, and it’s a lot better than waiting in line for a panel that isn’t going to start for hours. 

"Batman, you’re a detective, how come you haven’t put together the clues yet to find my parents?” Jessie asks.

“Um, I— ” Derek is saved from trying to explain he isn’t really Batman and finding two specific adults dressed as Ten and Rose is fairly difficult, since he’s seen about a dozen couples so far.

“Oh, you must need Robin!” Jessie says excitedly. “I see him right there, he can help us!” and she’s tugging him towards a steampunk booth.

Oh.

Derek’s actually seen this Robin cosplayer earlier and was too embarrassed to ask for a picture (either of him or with him); his outfit is sinfully tight, and he’s modified the costume in favor of bootyshorts and the mouth underneath his mask is curled into a bright smile. And then he saw him again with a bunch of other cosplayers taking photos for the Hawkeye Initiative, and well. 

He’s very flexible. And has a really nice ass. 

Keep reading

i swear im not selfish its just that when i ask how you are and you say you’re okay, i probably won’t be and i will probably spill something that doesn’t need to be told and i will probably tell about my greatest fear and how im so scared to let go because the memories and thoughts are climbing up my throat and i cannot keep it in anymore and i have tried swallowing it down but but swallowing down unsaid feelings feels like swallowing glass and the shards are stuck in my throat and i cannot speak how i feel so i spill and blood gushes everywhere and i swear i am not selfish, believe me, i meant to ask if you were okay. i am sorry that when you ask if im okay i will say yes. i will say yes even when the tears are streaming down my face because those pieces will not come out and every time i get so close to speaking how i feel, something inside me breaks even more and i can’t open my mouth. and i swear, i know you’re there for me, i know you want to help me but i can’t let you and i swear im not selfish its just, im so scared to bother you. im so scared that one text is gonna push you away forever. im so scared that i am too much and i swear i am not dark, i try so hard to be the light but its so hard for me to be warm for everyone else when i am so god damn cold and i swear, i would be a flame for you if i had the strength to but i am so god damn weak sometimes that i cannot move without collapsing and i am so sorry for not focusing more on you. i swear to the sun that i am trying. i am trying so hard but with every step i take my whole body creaks and aches and i try so hard to make sure everyone else is okay and believe me, when you smile at me i want to smile back but im so scared there will shards of glass stuck between my teeth and maybe that will gave me away and i can’t have anyone think that i am not okay. because im okay i swear. it’s just things have gotten tough and breathing suddenly feels like too much and i swear i am not selfish but when you ask how i am and i say im okay, please, i am begging you, please ask why i am just okay because i am spilling, seeping, i am a mess brimming over the edge of a breaking point and i need your hands to clean up the mess and hold me tight but no one is around and i am so fucking alone.
—  i swear, i am not selfish, i just need someone. // ig writingmyself
3

JM: Una vez prometí cuidarte y respetarte para siempre, prometí estar contigo en la salud y en la enfermedad y hasta te dije.. hasta que la muerte nos separe. Me cansé de prometer cosas, y esas palabras las dicen solo personas que se aventuran en un solo viaje, en un nuevo viaje que no conoce ni el verdadero amor y que son movidos en ocasiones por la euforia del momento… esas palabras nos dan esperanzas y ya me cansé de vivir de ellas. Y aquí estoy, frente a la mujer que amo con todas mis fuerzas, con firmeza y seguridad.. diciendo que te amo María de Jesús, te amo este día y hasta el último, por eso estoy seguro que tu eres mi compañera ideal, mi amante .. mi mejor amiga. Mi corazón late por ti, y este día en que la vida nos da una nueva oportunidad te entrego mi corazón en tus manos, te entrego mi vida eterna para que viva junto a la tuya.

M: Un beso, una vida, un amor.. eso es lo que te prometo yo. Te prometo el amor sincero de una mujer que da la vida por el hombre que ama. Te prometo un segundo, un instante en el que la vida se vaya.. se vaya entre olas mágicas, te prometo una eternidad a tu lado. Una sonrisa, una lágrima.. el mundo, nuestro mundo. Voy a vivir para amarte, para cuidarte, para levantarte día tras día.. cuando el felices por siempre se nos llegue a escapar sin proponérnoslo. Te prometo calor cuando haga frío, confianza.. y mi arrepentimiento y mi capacidad de perdonar. Te juro Juan Miguel San Román ante este Dios y todos los que nos rodean y nos quieren que .. que te haré el más feliz de todos. Por siempre mi amor.. por siempre.

Today Acchan came to watch us perform☆
Concerned about my physical health
She told me to drink some olive oil, and gave me one as a present (Laughs)
Drinking this, I can do my best tomorrow!!yes!!
— 

Oshima Yuko on Maeda Atsuko’s visit to RH2014 Best 200 Day3

(140125 Yuko’s mobame translated by Sokovo48)

“Do you think he still thinks about me?” She whispered, tears streaming down her face.

I’ve never been the type of person to lie to someone else just to spare their feelings. But in this moment, with my best friend’s head resting in my lap and her face covered in tears, I had to. I couldn’t watch her break anymore.  I couldn’t watch her cry over a guy who wouldn’t cry over her.

“How could he not? You were by far the best thing that had ever happened to him.”

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #8 // S.T.
You’re my best friend,” she choked out, tears streaming down her face. “You’re my best friend. You shouldn’t be doing this to me. I was in love with him and you just came in and took him because you could. You don’t care about how it makes me feel. All you care about is whether or not you’re happy and now you have the audacity to be mad at me for being hurt.
Fighting

“Maybe I have a reason for being this rude!” I shouted at Luke.

He rolled his eyes, “Y/N, don’t start.”

“Hell yeah I’m gonna start, Luke. It just feels like this relationship doesn’t mean anything to you. I bet you’d be happy if I leave you right now.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “Babe, don’t say such things.” His tone was calm and I think that is what made me so upset.

“You know what, that’s exactly what I am gonna do,” I said as silent tears streamed down my face.

He gave me a questioning look and followed me to the door. I took my keys and I heard him say my name one more time before I left.

I walked alone in the street, ignoring the look people gave me. I was so upset with Luke. As my feet were starting to hurt, I decided to go at Calum’s. He was my second best friend (after Luke).

I knocked on the door and a few seconds later I saw Calum at the door.

“I’m just so tired and upset and God…” I mumbled through my tears. My arms went around his neck and he laughed, making me confused. I pulled away and glared at him, “It’s not funny, Cal.”

“It is,” he chuckled.

“No, it’s serious, it’s about Luke.”

He took my hand and pulled me to the living room. On the couch was the tall guy with blonde hair that I called my boyfriend. He was laying on his back, a pillow on his face.

I should have known that we would both go at Calum’s.

My palms went over my face to cover my eyes. I tried to step back but Calum blocked me.

“Luke,” Calum said and I glared at my friend.

“What?” He replied before taking the pillow in his hands. His face turned and he gasped when he saw me.

“Okay so,” Calum placed a hand on my shoulder, “You guys are both stupid so just go back at being happy and yeah.”

I rolled my eyes at Calum.

He started to leave the living room and suddenly it was just Luke and me. I played with my hair, standing there awkwardly.

I stared at Luke. He didn’t look like he had been crying or anything. He looked like he was genuily disappointed and exhausted.

Me, on the other hand, I wasn’t feeling that upset anymore, I was just really tired and ready for a nap.

Luke sat on the couch, “Come here,” he mumbled.

I stepped forward and I was taken by surprise when Luke took my hand and pulled me closer to him. Suddenly, I was sitting on his lap.

My head found its way to the crook of his neck and I felt peace. I liked how he smelled, how warm he was.

“I’m sorry babe. I swear this relationship means a lot to me… Even if it doesn’t seem like it.”

I knew he was saying the truth. And as much as I hated to admit it, I had once again freaked out for nothing.

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and sighed contently.

Minutes later I heard Calum coming back in the living room.

“What happened?” I heard him laugh.

“She just fell asleep,” Luke responded. In fact, I wasn’t asleep, just pretending to be.

“You guys are weird,” Calum stated.

My boyfriend chuckled, “Yeah.”

I CAN’T STOP SMILING AND TEARS JUST KEEP STREAMING DOWN MY FACE!! Watching the new Hope on the Street and seeing the change in scenery reminded me of his all old practice videos when he was in Gwangju Dance Academy 😭😭😭 His little facial expressions about having to train himself to be more flexible, learning something new to extend his dancing 😭😭😭 He has grown so much as an artist 😭😭😭
Jung Hoseok, thank you for working so hard to strengthen yourself and wellbeing!!!! ARMYs love and admire your dedication to dancing and rapping and BTS!! We are ALL so proud of you!! As your fans, we’ll make sure to always be by your side with love and support as you do the same for us. We are all so thankful for your existence. 💕💖💕💖

You said you didn’t know why I fell more in love with you last night and it because when tears were streaming down my face, you put your arms around me without even saying anything. You didn’t have to though, because I got this feeling that I didn’t know how to explain, but now I do, I felt free. I felt like I could let go. I felt like I could let go of control. I try to control every aspect of my life and to finally be able to let that go just made me feel free. In that moment, I didn’t have to pretend to be anything and could just let go and feel. I fell more in love with you because just your arms around me could make me feel all of that.
—  My thoughts (via querquelife)