I Am Your Sister

honestly fuck kylo ren, if hayden christensen really does return in ep 8, presumably as anakin’s force ghost, i want him to be floating around with luke. i want him to be hovering over luke like ‘look at my son. look at MY SON i love him. luke, padme would love you so much. here are one hundred stories about how awesome your mother was. tell me more about your sister. i am a fucking fool’

If this election has taught us anything, it’s that Americans aren’t engaging with each other enough. We aren’t listening to each other. We aren’t empathizing with each other and holding each other accountable. It has gotten us nowhere, and it’s time to lay it all on the dinner table.

Last month I wrote a message to my white aunt, a Donald Trump supporter. My white father — her brother — had been disowned by their dad in 1979 when my father married my mother, who is black. My aunt’s support for a candidate who retweeted white supremacist social media accounts and advocated racist criminal justice policies targeting blacks was incompatible with her love for her black family, I reasoned.

My aunt responded politely. “I am not a racist and never have been. I love you, [your sister] and your mother,” she said. “I hope you understand my position, and we can agree to disagree, but also still love each other no matter what.”

Then she went to the polls on Nov. 8 and voted for Donald Trump. I applaud that she exercised her right to the franchise. But we’re definitely not done talking about it.

I hope to engage with the rest of my white relatives in the same spirit going forward. I might be uncomfortable, but an open debate about race and politics is worth the friction. Facebook has shown me how wide the gulf is. One of my cousins is a serial fake news sharer and Trump racism truther who refuses to acknowledge anything the president-elect has ever said was bigoted. Another insists that “Black Lives Matter” is a group of racist thugs; she has a 14-year-old son who lectures me regularly about how Martin Luther King, Jr., would despise the group.

It’s a frustrating back-and-forth. But I pop my white family members’ bubble as frequently as they pop mine. Our relationship lies somewhere between symbiosis and masochism — rarely pleasant, but always grounding. I say this to encourage other people to engage with their relatives in the same way. For white anti-racists and non-Trump supporters in particular, a Thanksgiving heart-to-heart might be your best chance to make your voices heard.

This is especially true on the subject of racism. White spaces are among America’s most segregated. Three-quarters of white people don’t have a single non-white friend, according to the Washington Post. White neighborhoods, schools, governments and households remain fortified echo chambers. Don’t let this be normal. Break the bubble. Make people uncomfortable with their racist beliefs.

If Trump’s election has inspired you to pursue anti-racism as a civic imperative, now’s the time to shoot your shot. The best strategies will differ from one family to the next, with some responding well to open confrontation while others need more finessing. But having the conversation is key. Accept that it will take time, effort and empathy, and may not be resolved fully in your lifetime. Arm yourself with facts. But do not shy away from debate. Only silence means defeat.

— Zak Cheney-Rice, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to argue with relatives
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GIRLFRIEND
  • Mila: hold on GIRLFRIEND, I got you this thing I just know you'll look lovely in
  • Sara: thank so much GIRLFRIEND I just appreciate and love you so much
  • Michele: oh look at them being besties, I'm so happy Sara doesn't have men lusting after her for once
  • Mila: oh no you definitely got that wrong, I definitely am lusting after your sister, didn't you hear me explicitly calling her girlfriend earlier? Like this is definitely not platonic at all if that's what you're thinking, it's gay, very gay, so gay that in fact we could give yuuri and victor a run for their money, like that's how gay and unplatonic our relationship is
  • Victor in the background: UNTRUE IM THE GAYEST TO EVER GAY
  • Yuuri: victor please stop this is utterly embarrassing
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This is what I’m gunna miss the most. Gut laughter delirious 2 show days. Leaning on each other just to get through another show. I’m gunna miss your love and kindness my forever sister. I am honored to have shared the stage with you. I love you. @reneeelisegoldsberry ❤️

4

Margaret and Mary Tudor, princesses and later Dowager Queens, the daughters of Henry VII and Elizabeth of York, the sisters of Henry VIII. Born nearly a decade apart, the two knew little of each other after Margaret departed to Scotland, yet shared the same passionate and self-possessed nature, choosing their own mates to the scandal and scorn of others.

for the lovely @margarettudor

You know what I want? 

I want Emma and Killian to get stuck with Neal for an entire day.

And at the end of it, after David and Snow pick him back up, they both collapse on the couch (as much as she loves her brother, he is a bit of a tiny tyrant) and Killian’s like, “Well, that was quite the adventure.” And Emma’s reply is, “Yeah. Good practice too.”

Imagine Kara deliberately interrupting Alex and Maggie every time they do anything more than kissing, but she plays it off as as accident, and Sanvers think its all an accident and they can’t be mad at Kara and they can’t just tell her not to interrupt.  Like it gets to the point where J’onn (who somehow knows Kara’s plans) has to get involve to tell Kara to stop because her plan was affecting his best agent

Alex: **on a mission, thinking about Maggie**

J’onn: Agent? Danvers!

J’onn: **corners Kara** You need to stop

Kara: **all innocent** stop what? What am I doing?

J’onn: Let your sister and her detective …you know?

Kara: Let Alex and Maggie what?

J’onn: You know! do it!

Kara: Do what?

J’onn: Kara!

Kara: J’onn!

J’onn: Agent Danvers’ frustration is affecting the mission, and it can put her and everyone at risk, so please Supergirl

Kara: If she’s frustrated, I can get her a spa appointment, and go buy her favorite food, and some beer

J’onn: I know what you’re doing, but your sister is a grown woman

Kara: What are you talking about?

J’onn:  **sigh deeply** Kara, if you don’t stop, I will **mutters, i can’t believe i’m doing this** I will have to interfere with your plan.  I need my agent at their best

Kara: **narrow eyes** challenge accepted **flies away**

J’onn: That wasn’t a - !

Random agent who overheard: **on phone with Lucy Lane** You’re missing out! Supergirl is sabotaging Agent Danvers’ sex life, and Hank is now trying to sabotage Supergirl’s plan. 

When the desire for definition, self or otherwise, comes out of a desire for limitation rather than a desire for expansion,no true face can emerge. Because any ratification from the outside can only augment my self-definition, no provide it. Nobody telling me I am worthy, or that a poem is good, can possibly match that sense within m self of worthiness, or of having done what I set out to do. And those of us who are Black, those of us who are women, those of us who are lesbians, all know what I mean…

So remember. When they come after you or me, it won’t matter particularly whether you are or I am a Black poet lesbian mother lover feeler doer woman, it will only matter that we shared in the rise of that most real and threatening human movement, the right to love, to work, and to define each of us, ourselves.
—  Audre Lorde, Self-Definition and My Poetry, from I Am Your Sister, 156
Financial Advice for my Sugar Sisters!

Financial advice for building your empire!

I am getting back into the bowl with an old SD after a 4 month hiatus. During this time, I’ve had a lot of time to think about my financials and how I was able to SURVIVE and do everything I’ve wanted to do (travel, shop, move, etc) all because I was financially responsible during the steady allowance flow.


I was able to move into a new apartment, with down payment and 4 months rent, all new furniture and everything because I SAVED and INVESTED my allowance for years.


My general rule was save 60% and spend 40% (on all my expenses and fun stuff!). But it goes even further than that. Within my savings, about 50% was sitting in a savings account that I wasn’t allowed to touch and 10% was in stocks that pay DIVIDENDS! 


What are dividends you ask? They are the life hack to money- stocks that pay you to invest. 


Dividends are usually paid out quarterly (four times a year) and they work like this. Let’s say you’ve invested $30,000 in stocks of a company that pays outs a 5% dividend. That means they will send you a paycheck of $1500 for the year (/4=$375) quarterly, on top of the growing 30k stock investment that you can SELL at any time or hold onto for a few years and then CASH OUT. $375 may not seem like a lot but that steady $ may come in right at the time that a car payment is due and its FREE MONEY. 

Another tip I have ladies, is so not get starry-eyed over the $$ and spend it all on shoes and bags until it your bank account hits zero. You MUST be saving and INVESTING in yourself and your future at all times. In my case, I have dreams to become a Youtube beauty vlogger and get into marketing/social media branding. My allowance has gone toward buying a high-end filming camera, studio lights, photography classes, and anything else that is propelling me toward my dreams and financial freedom. 


Any $$$ from an SD must have a RETURN potential for the future! ( I realize that reselling handbags might do that too, but why not keep your handbags and make MORE money?!)


Sorry for the rant, but I’m just so grateful that sugaring has allowed me to live financially set and happy without a job for these last four months and as I get back into the bowl, my #1 goal is to take another man’s money to invest in MY EMPIRE. Consider your men your primary investors ;)

Sadomasochism is an institutionalized celebration of dominant/subordinate relationships. And, it prepares us either to accept subordination or to enforce dominance. Even in play, to affirm that the exertion of power over powerlessness is erotic, is empowering, is to set the emotional and social stage for the continuation of that relationship, politically, socially, and economically.

Sadomasochism feeds the belief that domination is inevitable and legitimately enjoyable. It can be compared to the phenomenon of worshiping a godhead with two faces, and worshiping only the white part on the full moon and the black part on the dark of the moon, as if totally separate. But you cannot corral any aspect within your life, divorce its implications, whether it’s what you eat for breakfast or how you say good-bye. This is what integrity means.
—  Audre Lorde, “Sadomasochism: Not About Condemnation: An Interview with Audre Lorde” from I Am Your Sister: Collected and Unpublished Writings