Hurt-Emotionally

I keep a lot of my true emotions bottled up and its not healthy. I act so hard all the time and I’m exhausted. I just need to start getting it out…

After all that has happened to me over the course of my life, my husband leaving me really is the final blow. My past abuse and him leaving me really are the two most traumtic things I’ve ever been through (invlolving men). I love men. I do. There are so many great men doing great things out in the world….

…But I don’t know how to believe there are any of those great men who want /me/. I don’t know how to believe anyone is actually genuinely interested in me. I don’t know how any guy wants me for anything but sex. I don’t know how to believe I won’t get hurt in one way or another. To be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared to get hurt, physically, emotionally, whatever. I have a lot of walls up and its just like my abuser told me all those years ago; “No one will ever really love you”.

I don’t know how to stop getting hurt.
I don’t know how to stop getting left behind.
I thought my husband was the one person who would love me forever and then my whole world fell apart. Even he couldnt really love me.
I just shut myself in and assume everyone just wants me for the wrong reasons.
I give 100% and I’m so loving.
I just want to be wanted too.
For once.

Stuff My Dad Said During Hamilton (Act 2)
  • What'd I Miss: This guy sounds like a pompous asshole.
  • Cabinet Battle #1: That's that line you like. The shoe fitting one. You've said that too much...
  • Take A Break: Where's the third sister? Did she die? Is she okay?
  • Say No To This: ...damn...just...damn...
  • The Room Where It Happens: I want to feel bad for Burr but he's reminding me of those 'try too hard' kids. Like you.
  • Schuyler Defeated: I knew he was gonna turn into a huge dick.
  • Cabinet Battle #2: He sounds like you did in kindergarten. "He was my friend first!" I think you said that word for word.
  • Washington On Your Side: LANGUAGE!
  • One Last Time: If only he had known what was going to happen to our country...
  • I Know Him: And here comes the other George.
  • The Adams Administration: Spiteful little dude...
  • We Know: Snitches get stitches.
  • Hurricane: This guy's life kinda sucks...
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: No one ruining your life? Don't worry! Ruin your own...apparently.
  • Burn: If only she had actually burned him. Like. Revenge bitch.
  • Blow Us All Away: Oh yeah mini Hamiltons.
  • Stay Alive (Reprise): Does...Does everyone die? (Me: Eventually) Okay there's no need for smart ass comments.
  • It's Quiet Uptown: I'm now in like...a state of hurt and anger and...how?
  • Election Of 1800: That first note actually scared me...
  • Your Obedient Servant: Hamilton's disrespect? Doesn't Burr call his mom a whore every five songs?
  • Best Of Wives And Best Of Women: I've never been more emotionally hurt by a musical...
  • The World Was Wide Enough: Ah yes. I shall call this Act, "Stab You In The Heart Repeatedly".
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: ...who the fuck is telling Peggy's story?
What The Signs Are Afraid Of

Aries:
Showing weakness - Anybody who has never been close to an Aries would never know that they are actually very sensitive and emotional people. They hate showing their more emotional side because they see that as showing weakness.
They fear that showing their sensitive side will end in others walking all over them or pitying them.

Taurus:
Not being in control - As a fixed sign, Taurus’ hates not being in control. When things change too fast that they can’t process or really accept the fact that things will no longer be how they were before, they get really depressed. They isolate themselves and try to hold onto what they are familiar with instead of following the stream to the unknown.

Gemini:
Not doing enough - Geminis’ are hard workers, even though they have a hard time focusing on one thing at the time. They always get things done, but they fear that they aren’t doing enough and that everything they do constantly need improvement. They are never 100% satisfied with their own work - even with others admiration.

Cancer:
Being rejected - They are very sensitive people and don’t take things like rejection very easy. They don’t care about who or where they are rejected from, it is the fact that they aren’t wanted somewhere or by someone that they are afraid of.

Leo:
Being forgotten - As everybody know, Leos’ love being the center of attention, so when they get forgotten they start fealing small and unloved. No matter how much confidence a Leo has, they still need some type of validation from others and without that, they start feeling invisible and unimportant.

Virgo:
Not being needed - Virgos want others to need them. Feeling need means a lot to them because it means that someone can’t do something withouth their help. Helping others distracts them from thinking about their own problems, but directs their attention on fixing others problems. So when they aren’t needed, they get sucked into their own deep and dark thoughts.

Libra:
Telling people how they really feel - Libras are always trying to solve other peoples problems or be the shoulder others lean on. This is why they never say how they personally feel about the situation - To uphold the balance they have already established.
They fear saying what they really feel because that might make others look at them diffrent and ruin the balance.  

Scorpio:
Finally opening up only to getting hurt - They are very emotionally closed people which is why it is rare that they open up to others - because they fear getting hurt if they do. That is why they go out of their way to keep their distance to others. 

Sagittarius:
Getting too close to others - They have a fear of getting too close to others and committing. The idea of no longer being able to do whatever they used to do, without considering others feelings is terrifying to them and it makes them feel trapped. This is why they tend to distance themselves from others before anybody gets too attached.

Capricorn:
Having their hard work go to waste - Capricorns put a lot of time and energy into everything they do. They bust their asses to get to where they want to be, so when all their efforts goes to waste, they break down.  Things like this stay in the back of their minds till forever. Even with their will power to start over, they have a doubt in the back of their minds that their abilities to do it all over again won’t be enough…again.  

Aquarius:
Being seen like everybody else - Aquarius hold a certain pride in being different, so when they are generalized or put in a category with others, they start feelings small and insignificant. This is why they often are protective of what they see as ‘theirs’.

Pisces:
Not being able to help someone they love - Watching someone they love hurting is hard because they put themselves in their loved ones place. They make their loved ones problems their problems, so when they can’t help them, they personally feel affected because of how emotionally invested they are in helping.

How to Attract the Signs

ARIES:

Let Aries know that you admire them, they thrive of admiration and followers. Let them know that you love their zest for life and that you find them intriguing, they love compliments more than most other astrology signs of the zodiac.

Compliment them physically and mentally, they like conversations about intellectual topics and engage them in a lively discussion, or a friendly debate. They love the challenge and the stimulation of good, intelligent conversation. Ask them for advice, let them know that you look up to them.

Remember, Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the most forward and independent, they love followers. Do not be a push over, do not keep your opinions to yourself because Aries will quickly get bored if you agree with everything they say. Do not attempt to control them however, they do not like taking orders. Aries are very capable people so if you go with their plans, you are sure to have a good time! If they have a suggestion for something to do, go with the flow, they like to be in control of what goes on.


TAURUS:

Do not attempt to rush into a relationship with Taurus. They are very patient and expect you to be so too. Make them laugh, if they are amused and entertained by you, they will enjoy being with you. The way to a Taurus’ heart is through their stomachs. Cook for them or offer to take them to a fine upscale restaurant. Taurus enjoy talking about finance, business, money and material possessions.


GEMINI:

Love to talk, that is the first rule about impressing a Gemini. Be knowledgeable about that you talk about too because Gemini are intelligent and have lots of knowledge about many things. If you are an expert on a certain topic, teach them about it, you will impress them because this know-it-all sign does not usually know fine details about a lot of things, they are too busy to bother to learn. Speak your mind, engage them in a friendly debate but never be too conservative, they find this dull. Be honest and loyal to a Gemini, once they have had their trust broken they usually will never get it back again. Gemini are easy to date, they will do any activity anywhere. Just have fun, like you would with friends because that’s what Gemini are, a great friend.


CANCER:

You must be direct, Cancer will not. Let your feelings for them be known, this is the first step to initiating a relationship with a Cancer. This way, will not have to risk rejection, one of their biggest fears. If you are looking for a short fling, be straight with them. Do not lead them on to thinking there is long term commitment is there is none because you will hurt these emotionally delicate people.

Trust is the most important. Build trust with them and they will gradually get closer to you. Give them approval and compliments but be careful because they will easily sense when you are complimenting them just for the sake of it. Be sincere. Ask Cancer for advice, share your problems (but don’t burden them), they enjoy helping people and giving advice.

They like culture and lavish experiences. Take them to a play or museum and a fancy, upscale restaurant. Do not force Cancer into a relationship or make them make a decision on the spot. They will shy away from you. Have patience, this is the key to attracting a Cancer. Be physical with them, they love genuine affection. They are very cautious and as time passes, they will slowly grow closer to you and you will have wonderful, fulfilling relationship.


LEO:

Admiration is key. Admire them and they will be yours. Leo is a fairly easy sign to attract they are very receptive to advances and come-ons. Give them compliments, dish them out in handfuls because Leos never think a compliment can go too far. Even if you are faking it, they don’t care, the simply love the attention. Be funny, Leos love to be entertained and they love to laugh. If you can make them laugh, you’re good! Leos like the grand things in life, treat them to a lavish dinner or a cultural upscale event. Always have the best of the best and never try to offer them second rate. They think nothing is too good for them, they like everything posh so dress classy and nice, and have a good night on the town with the charming Leo!


VIRGO:

Virgos need intellectual stimulation. Impress them with facts and details. Always try to come to conclusions when having a conversation, they do not like topics that go nowhere, they like conversations to come to a close or consensus, even if you agree to disagree. They are very conventional people so do not do anything spontaneous or force them to make a hasty decision, they take their time and think intensely in their mind. They are not slow, their brain is working evaluating everything. Do not attempt to probe inside their mind because their emotions are pretty much closed off until the relationship is solid, and they will decide when that time will be. Virgos are natural worriers, do not let this get to you. Do not give them cause to worry because this makes them get wound up like a spring. Let Virgo take the lead, they like to be in control of what is happening. Keep the date tasteful and do not be vulgar, they like calm and classy surroundings and people.


LIBRA:

Libras are easy to attract, they probably have attracted you first with their easygoing nature. First and foremost, admire and flatter them. Treat them like a prince or princess. Libras love to talk, they can talk about anything but are especially interested in themselves. Want to leave a lasting impression on a Libra? Ask questions about them and talk about their interests, hobbies, anything regarding them. Even though Libras are diplomatic, they enjoy seeing things from other points of view. Engage in a light debate about an issue exploring both sides and the conversation will flow. Dress nice, keep the atmosphere posh and upscale and clean your house before they come over for the first time. First impressions are lasting for Libras. Have fun, be yourself, you are almost guaranteed a good time with the easygoing, interesting Libra.


SCORPIO:

Never be fake with a Scorpio, they can see it a mile away. Be genuine with your comments and listen to them attentively, (they always have something interesting to say so this is never a problem!) Do not try to hide things from them or tease them, they always have to know what is going on. Remember, they are the only ones that are allowed to tease and present the mystery and intrigue! They like frankness and honesty, speak your mind they will respect that. Scorpios are interested in almost all activities, so finding something to do should never be a problem. They are unpredictable and could change the course of the date mid-way though so take these last minute changes with a smile and try something different. They like people who are not afraid to ditch a plan and try another. In conversation, do not tell them that their opinions are wrong or shoot them down, they are too proud for this and even if it is a joke, they might not take it with the humour that you meant. Never try to control them but do not be the damsel in distress either, they like strong, real people with driving ambitious personality like theirs.


SAGITTARIUS:

Talk to them, ask them questions about themselves, share stories, make them laugh, but do not pry into intimate details about their life. Keep your emotional distance and they will be attracted to you. Easy. Suggest an outdoor date, something wild and wacky like floating on a boat down the river then having a picnic by the riverside, anything. They love activities. These are the easiest people to get a date with but don;t think that this is written in stone, they are the biggest commitment phoebe of all zodiac signs. Enjoy the time you’ve spent with Sagittarius and be prepared to move on or at least share them with others because they will be doing the same. All in good fun.


CAPRICORN:

Make them laugh, they tend to be melancholy so anyone who can make them laugh is appreciated. Talk about anything but do not pry into their emotions. They do mind listening to yours, however. When Capricorn feels safe, they will let some of their cats out of the bag.

Talk about serious topics, things that matter and avoid unconventionality, they are very conventional people and do not like shock-topics. They like to be connected to on an intellectual level. They like gifts, not gaudy and expensive but practical and useful. Keep it high class, they do not like second-rate gifts or dates for that matter. Plan an upscale date to an art gallery, theatre or fancy restaurant.

Never be late. Capricorns are very punctual and live by a schedule and they do not like to be kept waiting, it shows irresponsibility. Be patient with Capricorn, underneath that aloof, indifferent outside lies a physical, passionate loyal person that will come out when the time is right, once you have proven yourself.


AQUARIUS:

Communication is key. You must be able to stimulate their minds, engage in a friendly, witty verbal battle but do not expect to come to any conclusions, this is not the point. They crave the brain exercise. If you unable to keep up with the intellect and the unconventional ways that Aquarius is known for, you might want to look elsewhere.

Aquarius needs communication compatibility more than anything else. Have variety in your dates, think of interesting things to do like a trip to the zoo, but if you can’t think of any crazy idea, leave it up to Aquarius to make plans but do not be surprised if they change the plan in the middle, be flexible like them. They do not like naggers or complainers so keep the talk positive and all should be well.


PISCES:

Talk about spirituality, the occult, astrology, anything that is out of reach of the real world. They will easily get lost in a good conversation. Although they are attracted to people with severe problems who desperately need help, this actually does more harm them good. Even though Pisces will offer to make everything right, do not allow them to take on all your problems because they will lose their identity in your situation. They need a strong positive partner to make them strong. Pisces like adventure, new situation and social events and will be up to doing almost anything that you suggest. Make them laugh, they are usually melancholy and will be impressed if someone has the ability to make them laugh. They are not very conservative people so do not be afraid to talk about unconventional or strange things and tell them odd jokes, they will be impressed by that. They are suckers for flattery give them compliments and tell them in a roundabout way that you admire them. Be sensitive, generous and gentle, make them feel comfortable with you and make them feel good about themselves and all will be smooth sailing!

Sangwoo’s Feelings for Yoonbum

This is an analysis of Sangwoo’s feelings and thoughts throughout the chapters and how he developed feelings for Bum. This is basically Sangwoo’s POV of the story. It might answer some of the questions I’ve been seeing around about ‘Why did Sangwoo do this or that?’ and etc.

0. Emptiness

I think it’s very obvious that Sangwoo used to be really really lonely before Bum showed up. As a child he was abused and I think he was very attached to his mother so he lost the only person in his life that he truly loved. Imagine how frustrating it is to always pretend to be someone else. Be happy, smile, laugh, joke and hang out with people you don’t even like. You think they’re flawed, shallow, stupid, ungrateful and have ugly personalities (Sangwoo’s words) but this is the only way he can be with people. He has to wear a mask 24/7 that hides his true personality and I don’t care if he’s horrible, he’s still human. He doesn’t whine about it but he’s been subconsciously suffering. He has so many ‘friends’ and yet he’s completely lonely because nobody accepts him for what he really is. He literally does not have anyone.

Now before you blame his behavior and tendencies, I want to point out that I think Sangwoo has Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD), shows signs of BPD and also he’s a victim of abuse so with those in mind, let’s start:


1. ‘A perverted stalker?’

A guy broke into Sangwoo’s house and when he got caught, he confessed to him, telling him that he’s been in love with him. Sangwoo smiles because ‘people are full of shit’ and say anything to save themselves. Let’s trust his words here and say he didn’t kill Bum because he hadn’t kill a man in 3 years but I also think at that moment he feels like he should keep Bum around. Maybe out of curiosity? He’s not sure why yet. He just knows Bum is a different case. To do that, he breaks Bum’s legs to make sure he won’t leave.


2. ‘Can I be attracted to a man?’

He doesn’t know what to do with this guy. Bum is not loud or annoying, he doesn’t disobey him and is powerless. Sangwoo started to rationalize things for himself and figure out if he can be attracted to Bum, a man, in any way, basically he started exploring,

But still, he doesn’t trust this ‘perverted stalker’ so he is thinking, ‘I’ll provoke him and I’ll have a reason to end his life.’ BUT to his surprise, his plan backfires. Bum likes the abuse (or at least pretends to). Despite mocking Yoonbum, Sangwoo is surprised! He loves what he’s seeing. I believe he never got a reaction like that from anyone before when abusing them. And so he takes another step forward and kisses him, still experimenting.

He likes the kiss. He decides to keep Bum for now. He keeps him in the basement for a week. He hurts Bum by cutting him (punishing him) but still Yoonbum doesn’t push him away. Sangwoo realizes Yoonbum really is not a threat and is powerless which is why he took him upstairs and when Yoonbum begged him not to take him to the basement again, despite rejecting him, he considered it.


3. ‘You will hate me!’ First Test

Sangwoo believed Yoonbum will eventually want to leave him. Because I think he is aware of his own wrong actions to some point at least. Why would anyone want to stay with him after everything that happened, right? But the big improvement was that he wasn’t planning to kill him anymore. Why? I believe this is where the feelings started to develop. When he sees his mother (the only person he loved), in Yoonbum. Although he can separate these two people very well in reality.

Yoonbum said ‘I love you!’ AGAIN even after everything and Sangwoo is once again surprised! He slowly starts to trust this person’s feelings. He even gives him a knife but… not because he trusts Bum. That’s a test. I’m not sure if this translation is right but I believe that’s what he means by ‘I have something I want to confirm too’. He’s testing Yoonbum’s loyalty. He wants to know if Bum really means it when he says he loves him.

After that the real abuse starts and I believe he’s copying his father’s behavior while Yoonbum is ‘the mom’. He makes him do house chores, beats him up, etc… Meanwhile he enjoys abusing him and is waiting for an excuse to hurt him badly because he’s not emotionally attached to him yet. He doesn’t care. But Yoonbum is always obedient and finally… Sangwoo lets Yoonbum sit at the table with him because he wonders why Yoonbum is so nice to him, always smiling and listening to him and even made him a really nice dinner. He suspects him and it happens to be the same night Yoonbum uses the rat poison. For whatever reason, the poison doesn’t work on Sangwoo and Yoonbum passes the first test!


4. ‘He really loves me?’

When Yoonbum got sick, is where we can see Sangwoo’s emotions to some point. Sangwoo picked him up and took him to the basement but he looked at Bum and actually felt sorry for him (or maybe he just couldn’t see him as a threat. Either way) He went back up and laid him down on his own mattress. He took care of him and told him to rest. You can see him sitting beside him and staring at him in silence and I love this panel so much because you can see Sangwoo caring. can’t help but feel like he’s worrying for his sick bunny xD His emotions aren’t strong but he doesn’t want to lose Bum.

I think the question Yoonbum asked (whether he really meant it or not) made Sangwoo happy a bit. Chapter 5 is where he finally feels attached to Yoonbum and shows him affection. They started exchanging stories. Sangwoo was actually interested to know about his story, although he was a bit disappointed, saying that it’s ‘boring’ and that he hates weak people like Yoonbum who self pity. “Stop going on about how lonely you are. I hate that shit.” Why? Because Sangwoo is not the type that stay sad and depressed over their misfortunes. He’s the type that wants to get stronger to beat whatever and whoever is in his way. But in a way he thinks Yoonbum is like him. He started comparing himself with Yoonbum which is a big improvement. He told him how Yoonbum made things easier for him. “Why? How? I looked for a reason. And then I saw you.” He told Bum he was glad they were together and Yoonbum’s love made him feel stronger which I believe means Yoonbum’s love and obedience gives him confidence. And by kissing Bum’s wrist he implied that the love can be mutual.
Although he still doesn’t fully trust him (which is probably why he also refused the bj) but he was letting himself believe that Bum’s love for him was real. He’s happy to see someone is still in love with him even after everything that happened and after he saw Sangwoo’s true personality. He has someone now that knows his darkest secrets and still wants him for what he really is.


5. ‘Almost there…’ Second Test

Everything seems to be going well after that. Sangwoo was kind and affectionate towards Yoonbum. He took care of him and joked around. Although I’d like to think he was being too nice on purpose and not really himself and that’s because the second test was coming. He wanted Bum to feel he’d lowered his guards. He reminded Bum not to cross the line then left the house and Bum fails the second test.


6. ‘Don’t be pathetic.’ First Lesson

Even though he was hoping Yoonbum won’t come out, he expected it (considering he had the basement ready for him). He does not trust Bum at all and I think he was trying to kill Bum until he saw him calling his name even in his last moments so that changed his mind. It’s as if you want to let go of someone you like but they keep coming back to you so you can’t make the right decision. He wants Yoonbum. He wants someone to love him and he knows he probably won’t ever find anyone like that again. He was disappointed in Yoonbum SO he decided to make him better! Stronger! Like himself. So after punishing him, first he decided to show him how pathetic he is. He found a guy for Bum to kill (’for practice’), meanwhile insulting both of them to show Bum how 'bad’ it is to be weak.

Sangwoo still cares about him and makes sure Yoonbum knows that. The sick little mind games he played, were only because he enjoys seeing Bum relying on him and trusting him blindly. As I said before, it gives him confidence and makes him feel stronger.

This first murder happened. It was supposedly to make Bum stronger, show him how it feels to kill and… the most important part, help Yoonbum understand Sangwoo and be closer to him (spiritually!?) so they can be together.


7. ‘He left me too! I won’t forgive him!’ The Breakdown

Fear of abandonment. I already wrote a long post and talked about Sangwoo’s fear of abandonment here. The panic that happens after he thinks he’s been abandoned and the roller coaster of emotions. Rage, Fear, Worry, Sadness. He feels betrayed. He goes mad … and I have one thing to add to it all. I think that might’ve been how he felt when his mother ‘left him’ AKA died considering the flashbacks. (I’m not sure if this person is his mother though. She might have been a replacement?) I don’t know if Sangwoo killed her or something else happened but we can be sure that he loves and wants Yoonbum equally.

When he finds Yoonbum… he realizes how valuable he is to him and so he finally decides, “Let’s stay together… forever…”


8. ‘See how disgusting people are’

I’m going to skip a bit to where Sangwoo introduces Yoonbum to his ‘friends’. I think this is all to let Yoonbum get bullied, emotionally hurt, to build up some anger in him and provoke him. To remind him this is how people will treat you if you let them. Sangwoo already knows Yoonbum has been bullied and hurt a lot in his life because in a way he can relate to him. They are the same people. They were both hurt and abused and they have the right to punish these disgusting people. And this is all for Yoonbum and for the both of them. Sangwoo is pulling him up to his level or at least close so that they can be together. Jieun was a gift to Yoonbum and Sangwoo was happy to see Yoonbum accepted that gift.



I tried to keep this as short as possible. I think I understand Sangwoo well and I believe this is also the reason why he kills… but still these are only my thoughts and how I see everything. So they might not be 100% true. Koogi might have more surprises for her readers. But still, I love this character a lot and I can’t wait to see and know more about him and his past. Also I kind of fast forwarded the last chapter because there are so many posts about it already.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to ignore you when you want to talk to him.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to shove you when he’s angry.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to call you a dumbass or a bitch when you’re in an argument.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to threaten to leave the relationship every time you defend yourself.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to invalidate your feelings.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to not tell you who he’s with or where he’s going.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to keep making the same detrimental mistake over and over.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to use your insecurities against you.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to make you feel guilty for having desires and needs.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to tell you that you’re stupid when you cry.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to cheat on you because he’s “just a stupid guy.”

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to rely on you when he doesn’t do a thing for himself.

it’s not normal for your boyfriend to hurt you intentionally.

please stop normalizing toxic romantic relationships. it’s not healthy for your partner to upset you and behave recklessly as long as he apologizes later. apologies mean nothing after he has repeatedly disrespected you. kisses and hugs mean nothing after he has repeatedly disrespected you. public displays of affection mean nothing after he has repeatedly disrespected you. promises mean nothing after he has repeatedly disrespected you. it is not okay for him to hurt you physically or emotionally because he said he’ll change. he hasn’t. he won’t. get out now because THIS! IS! NOT! NORMAL! other couples do not go through this. other couples did NOT have to go through this to be in a happy, wholesome place.

he is manipulative and selfish and he is making you weak every time you agree to stay. even when you feel like “maybe this time, things will be okay,” they won’t – that’s what he wants you to think so you never slip from his grasp. you know as well as i do you’re 50 times overdue for “this is his last chance.” this is not normal.

Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)


The trail mix was gone. 

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone. 

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free. 

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.


kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend. 

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

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this hurts me emotionally physically mentally economically spiritually financially vigorously

you’re telling me we’re not gonna see sana’s worried text to isak asking him if he is okay? or isak replying with a picture of his bloody nose saying ‘i look fucking badass’ and then few minutes later a message saying ‘i’m okay, don’t worry sanasol’ ? or sana finally letting out a sigh of relief and she wants to say something, anything, say sorry for bringing her brother and his friends, sorry that he and even got hurt physically and emotionally, but she can’t find the right words to type, and isak after 5 minutes of watching her struggle to type something, says ‘it’s not your fault sanasol’, just like that, because he knows, he knows her and he knows all the guilt she’s carrying in her heart and sana smiles at her phone, her heart clenching in her chest, because she loves her biology partner?? their friendship is so precious and after all that had happened with the girls she feels like he’s the only one she can trust,  and so she answers back with ‘did you cry isabell?’ because that’s how they are, always teasing each other to make the other smile ? and isak is like ‘me? i’m the master of not crying while getting punched in the face??? hallo? even might have cried though when he saw all that blood haha’ ? and then sana is laughing and promising isak to visit him tomorrow morning, and to bring the shebakia her mother made for even with her!!! so like this is so pure and you’re telling me we’re not gonna see it???

“su would be sooo much better if rebecca sugar storyboarded more episodes”

rebecca sugar is responsible for most of the show’s most reviled mistakes. from sugilite’s concept and design, to the human zoo + it being portrayed as an utopia, pearls obsession w/ rose and abuse bc of it,  to bismuths concept and imprisonment, to the diamonds sympathetic portrayal…

that last part specifically, she said that she disliked how yellow diamond was written in “message received”, so she took it upon herself to storyboard her and blue diamond in “that will be all”. whats the big difference in those two episodes? the first got huge critical acclaim. yd was shown as the cold, focused, ruthless dictator she is, with a pearl (slave) who is afraid of her. the second showed her as poor hurt and emotionally repressed, as suffering through her role as a dictator leader, on the verge of crying. with a pearl (slave) who happily served her. and blue diamond, the homophobic dictator, as a sobbing heartbroken mess whos WOAH suddenly gay.

sugar’s work on adventure time, tho extremely popular, also had a lot of glaring mistakes. she was responsible for the twist in fionna and cake- it was a fanfic written by the ice king. ok, funny..but the joke is that the ice king is writing 13 year old fionna/genderbent finn romancing him. or in “i remember you”, jokes likw marceline getting hit on by her father figure the ice king, or the looooads of ableism in that episode that tbh, as someone w/ mental illness in my family, made it hard to watch. 

and tho she gets credit for starting bubbline in the show, all the bubbline eps by other boarders wrote them as…getting along, being nice to each other. she wrote them as having a lot of hate and repressed feelings. which creates a pretty bad pattern when u look at the gay relationships she writes in su- the unhealthy mess thats pearls love for rose, aforementioned portrayal of blue diamond… yeaaaa

tl;dr: rebecca sugar has some qualities as a writer, but still creates a lot of awful implications in near everything we’ve seen her do for su and at. she is responsible for most of the shows mistakes

anonymous asked:

RFA + V and Saeran react to overhearing MC's family scold her because they despise who she's dating? Maybe they think they aren't successful and responsible enough or not loyal or trustworthy or feel like MC deserves far better than what she's getting our of them? Specifically I'd like to see Saeyoung's reaction given his insecurities.

And we’re back! Did you guys miss some scenarios?

Hope you like this! ^^

RFA + Saeran and V finding MC’s family disapproval

Zen

  • “Sweetie, I just think he’s playing with you.”
  • He heard that coming from your father when you two were washing the dishes in the kitchen, Zen noticed you two forgot a plate and was bringing it to the kitchen.
  •  “And what makes you think that, dad?” “Well, he’s handsome, I bet he has tons of women running after him. Maybe famous women? What makes you think he won’t dump you for some famous actress? He’s a public figure, honey, his image is everything. Plus… he sounds shallow like that.”
  • Shallow? Zen could deal with being called narcissist, workaholic, but… shallow? He was sounding shallow to your father?
  • He wanted to walk into the kitchen, maybe subtly, maybe not. He wish he had some really witty and smart statement to give so your father would realize he wasn’t just image
  • And he was about to step into the kitchen when he finally heard your voice: “If he sounds shallow, maybe you didn’t pay attention enough to what he was saying, dad. Have you listened to his story? His problems with his family? The way he struggled when he started his career as an actor? Have you heard when he told you how much he loves me and how guilty he feels that we’re still not married? Come on, dad. Either you weren’t listening, or you don’t know what shallow means.”
  •  “But, honey…” “His family is broken enough, dad. Let’s not break ours too just because you’re seeing Zen as just another actor, not as the man I chose to share my life with.”
  • Zen could almost cry right there. How did he manage to find someone who can see so deep inside him? Yeah, he definitely likes being known for his looks, but the fact you see beyond them is really overwhelming.
  • When you two are saying goodbye to your father, he gives a firm handshake to the man.  “I hope we can spend more time together, sir.”
  • “I would like that a lot. I see you have a bike, what brand is it?” that goodbye turned into a long conversation about bikes, which was super boring to you, but seeing them bonding was worth it.

Yoosung

  • “I honestly thought it was a joke when you introduced him as your boyfriend, sis.”
  • He heard when you and your sister were in your bedroom trying to find something for you to wear, Yoosung accidentally spilled wine on you.
  • “Shut up.” “No, I’m serious! What are you thinking, MC? He seems like a teenage mama’s boy. Look at what he did to your shirt, he’s so clumsy and… nerve-wracking! You’ll have to play his mommy all the time!”
  • Well, it’s not like he haven’t thought about himself like that before, but listening when it comes from another person, that person being someone who grew up with you hurts a lot more.
  • His first instinct was head out of there without anybody noticing he’s gone. But… then your sister would be completely right.
  • “He just spilled wine on me because his spatial notion is still a little compromised due to his eye. Have I told you he hurt his eye trying to protect me, sis? And yeah, he’s still a little nervous because he doesn’t know my family too well, but your hostility definitely won’t help him calming down. If you’ weren’t such a bitch, maybe you would have noticed by now he’s an amazing smart man that makes me really happy.”
  • “You just called me a bitch because of that guy?” “I did, just so you know how serious I am about him, to the point I’m fighting with my favorite person in the world.”
  • Well, he’s glad he didn’t run and stayed to listen to this. You made him sound like a really cool reliable guy, the type of man he’s trying to be for you.
  • After you and your sister go back to the living room, she makes sure to sit next to you two. “So wait… you asked her to be your pre-girlfriend before you got together? Oh my God, that’s so adorable…”
  • Then you two kept squealing over that photo of his with the roses, and though he’s super embarrassed, he couldn’t help feeling a little smug when your sister said ”Huh, I wish my boyfriend were like this.”

Jaehee

  • “She seems a little cold, MC. Are you sure she really likes you?”
  • She heard when you and your brother were setting the table while she was talking to your parents in the living room, she decided she needed to help as well.
  • “Ugh, don’t even start, bro.” “I’m not saying this to be an ass! Come on, MC, she’s so formal! She’s almost like a granny, you’ll get bored if you stay with her! This if she doesn’t dump you first, she seems cold like that.”
  •  You warned her about your brother’s brutal honesty, but this still felt unexpectedly hurtful.
  • She was really trying to loosen up, and she honestly felt she was doing a good job, at least next to you and to your friends, maybe she wasn’t and people close to you were feeling she wasn’t real about your relationship?
  • “She’s been working her ass off on a very strict company basically since she graduated, she’s still learning to loosen up. You would have noticed this if you weren’t so desperate about finding something to complain about my girlfriend, as you typically do.”
  • “Jeez, MC, calm down! I’m just worried for you.” “I appreciate it, but you’re the one boring me right now, let’s end this before I stop feeling bored and end up getting angry.”
  • She can’t help feeling this warmth growing inside her. Knowing that you are willing to fight for her like this is amazing! Not only because she never had that before, but also because it’s you.
  • Your brother decides to talk a little more to her. “Whooooa, so you’re a judo blackbelt? That’s awesome! You gotta teach me some moves!”
  • Well, giving this guy an ippon after he pissed you off would satisfy her more than she cared to admit.


Jumin

  • “Are you sure this is a healthy relationship, honey?”
  •  Your mother asked you when you two were making dinner while he was setting the table, as you asked him, but he didn’t know where to find the forks.
  •  “What do you mean, ma?” “I mean, he seems so intimidating and, everything is happening so fast, you barely know each other and are already engaged, he seems very intense, for that matter.”
  • Well, he was indeed very intense, but… intimidating? He never wanted to come across as intimidating, not to you, not to the woman who raised you.
  • Was he intimidating you to the point you were feeling pressured to get married?
  •  “Mom, I know what you’re trying to say. He’s not like dad, okay? Yes, he is very intense, just because he never had the chance to express his feelings like all of us do.“
  • “Well, your father wasn’t good at expressing feelings either, then he expressed with actions…” “Ma, Jumin would never hurt me, emotionally or physically. I know you might be thinking I’m on a cycle, that I have daddy issues, but… just give him a chance, okay? Let him prove he is nothing like my father.”
  • He was really sad for you and your mother. Two amazing women were suffering due to a man’s behavior, this was awful in so many levels…
  • He walks into the kitchen, pretending he didn’t hear a thing. “Why don’t you just rest while MC and I cook, maam?”
  • “Oh wow, what a gentleman… nothing like her father.” He smiled genuinely, neither of the women were feeling intimidated by that smile.

Saeyoung

  • “Your mother and I think you deserve better.”
  • Your father says when you were helping him changing a light bulb, Saeyoung decided to help when he heard this.
  • “Why would you think that, dad?” “Sweetie, he’s a train wreck! He’s immature, irresponsible, you told me how rude he acted with you. How can you be sure he won’t start pushing you away again?”
  • Of course he knew how immature and irresponsible he was, but he never really thought about what if he started getting snappy to you again. He promised he wouldn’t, but… was he good at keeping promises? Ask his brother.
  •  If he had any good sense, he would walk away and pretend he didn’t listen to any of this. He was already immature and irresponsible, he didn’t need o be nosy as well.
  • “He just pushed me away because he was worried and pretty sure he would die at any moment back then, dad. He was scared, he’s been scared his whole life! Have I told you what kind of hell he and his brother grew up at?”
  • “Sweetie, it still doesn’t justify…” “It does to me. He is scared and willing to change for me, I know that because I trust him. Can’t you trust the man your daughter loves? Not even a little?”
  • Well, if you asked him anything with that tone, he would oblige without thinking… ugh, you’re so sweet, so lovely, so caring… he can never push you away again! Not right now his life is so great with you and his brother, but it isn’t perfect, since your parents don’t like him…
  • “I’ll be honest with you, son. I still don’t trust you, but my daughter does and she never failed her judgments, that, and only because of that, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” You looked at him and smiled.
  • “Thank you, sir. I’ll prove it will be worth it.” Not so immature and irresponsible right now, is he?

Saeran

  • “MC, listen to me, this guy is trouble!”
  • He heard this through the baby monitor when you and your sister went to check on her son.
  • “Why are you saying this?” “MC, he is… creepy! Are you dating him to punish dad? Look at him, he looks like he’s on the edge of a mental breakdown! Are you sure you want to play his nurse forever?”
  • He wasn’t on the edge of a mental breakdown! At least not now… at least not since you came along, but there were a few says, though…
  • Your sister is so right! He’s so weird and creepy, he doesn’t deserve you at all! Why did he even think he could handle trying to be normal and do normal things with you?
  • “I’m not playing his nurse! I like to help him because I love him, and he had mental break downs in the past, you would have too if you were locked up and forced to drugs after growing up with an abusive mother. All he needs is support and a loving family, not this… judgment from you!”
  • “MC, calm down, I was just…” “I know you’re concerned, but focus your concern on helping me give him what he needs. If you have nothing else nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
  • Saeran didn’t hear any of this, he hid in the bathroom when you two left the bay’s bedroom and kept talking as you walked into the living room.
  • Then you two heard the baby crying through the baby monitor, but he quickly stopped, you two found it odd and went to check on him.
  • He was fine, Saeran was holding him. “Am… Am I doing this right?” Making yours and your sister’s heart explode from sweetness? Yep, he was doing this right.

V

  • “What are you even thinking dating this guy, MC?”
  • Your brother asked you when V went to the toilet, he got lost and tried to get back to ask your brother where was it, exactly.
  • “What do you mean?” “I mean, he’s an old blind man, MC! You’re wasting your youth with a guy like this, he won’t be able to keep it up with you!”
  • V already thought about it, yes, you were so young, did you really need to take such a responsibility by dating him?
  • And that coming from your brother, who sounded so worried… he hated being a burden and provoking this arguing between two family members…
  • “He’s just one year older than you, so chill. And what century are we in? Do you think just because he’s blind, he’s not able to have a normal life? Dude, we’re planning a trip to Italy for my birthday, I think that’s pretty normal, don’t you?”
  •  “MC, take I easy, I’m just…” “You’re concerned, but you don’t have to.  He’s pretty good by himself, and he’s independent, he doesn’t need me, yet he wants me, and I want him, so there’s nothing for you to worry about.”
  • He needed you, maybe not to do things for him, yes. But he needed you because he loved you, and he was so happy that you were so sure about him not being a burden.
  • You were saying goodbye, when your brother said: “I’m sorry, dude.”
  • “If you want to apologize, apologize for stressing her out. As for me, don’t worry, I’ll make sure to bring you a gift from Italy as a peace offer.”
All Too Well (M) | Pt. 1

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue

Summary: You and Yoongi shared a loving relationship with one another until you both agreed to end things and pursue your separate careers. But two years later, Yoongi is a member of the ever growing Bangtan Boys, and you are a new makeup artist for their upcoming tour.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff/Angst/Smut; Idol & Makeup Artist AU
Word Count: 6,061
Author’s Note: I always wanted to try my hand on a Yoongi chapter story, and then I saw this prompt on tumblr and decided to go with it. I also want to note up ahead that I’m not super familiar with how the recruiting process for Kpop groups go and my knowledge only extends to really quick skims of articles just to get the basis. Regardless, I hope I can get to more parts, so let me know what you think.

also idk if this should be considered a prologue or a part 1 but oh well im just leaving it as part 1

.

You suppose that it all starts and ends with a letter.

Dear Mr. Min Yoongi,” Your boyfriend reads across the kitchen counter, fingers curling tightly around the paper in his hands, eyes blown wide with a gaze depicting such rare intensity that you’ve actually stopped fixing your morning coffee just to catch a sight of his expression. You can’t entirely place the feeling weighing itself into your stomach, so you settle with staring at him and trying to keep your own facial features as neutral as possible. “We are pleased to inform you that you have passed the final audition at our label and therefore are officially recruited into our newest group Bangtan Boys. You are going to be one of seven other boys joining our label as trainees and we are excited to finally bring everyone together to prepare for debut. Although training won’t officially start until next week, we ask that you come to the studio tomorrow morning to meet the other members as well as be prepped on our expectations and scheduling. We wish to congratulate you on your hard work and look forward to getting to know you more in the coming years. Sincerely, Big Hit Studios.”

When Yoongi doesn’t react immediately to the positive news, you flicker your gaze up to study him. His eyes, once again, are scanning the paper, quicker and quicker with each line as if he didn’t read it or hear it correctly the first time around. His eyes have grown to the size of saucers at this point, and you would have thought him to be a statue had it not been for the rather loud inhales and exhales coming from the boy. The sight itself would have been rather comical had it not been for the context behind the stare.

So you try for a gentle smile, leaning a little on the counter to try and further gauge his expression. “Yoongi?” You inquire softly, reaching a hand across the space to run your hand along his shoulder blade. “Baby, are you alright?”

Yoongi blinks, snapping himself out of his trance as he shifts his gaze from the letter to you, back to the letter, and back to you. “I did it?” He whispers, the statement sounding more like a question above anything else and you find your lips curling up into a fond smile in light of Yoongi’s confusion—even though he was the one to read the letter multiple times, running over the words in his own mind repeatedly.

Keep reading

*makes a post complaining about how everyone writes Natsu OOC*

“But, Alisha! You don’t write him entirely in character either!”

You’re right! But there’s a difference, you see!

There are four (4) five (5) types of Natsu(s?) popular in fanfiction!

1) (My personal least favorite) Fuckboi player!Natsu. Probably plays football. Is an asshole. Might bully Lucy because I guess that’s attractive in a man. Is failing math class and/or English and Lucy may or may not tutor him for whatever reason. Dates a different girl every week. Lucy magically changes his ways.

Sometimes included, but not required:

  • Lisanna being a jealous bitch because???
  • Sting and/or Rogue’s characterization being butchered and them attacking/assaulting Lucy, thus making Natsu realize how much he cares about Lucy.
  • Lucy being uncomfortable going to sport’s games but her friends (namely Erza and Levy) dragging her to one anyway. Bonus points if something terrible happens at the game and Lucy immediately forgives her friends.

2) The Natsu that’s not smart enough to spell “cabbage.” Doesn’t know what sex is, thus introducing a weird subplot where someone (typically Lucy or Gray) must explain it to him. This is more uncomfortable to the reader than it is for the characters. Usually over-exaggerates the dragon slayers’ dragoness. Lucy is repeatedly emotionally hurt in these fics because the reader has made Natsu too stupid to understand what feelings are.

Sometimes included, but not required:

  • Weird dragonesque Natsu smut. Probably kinky. May be a dragon mating season fic.
  • Lisanna is evil and somehow Lucy ends up leaving the guild (may or may not become a dragon slayer). 
  • If written in canonverse, there will be a mission that Natsu botches. Lucy will probably be injured in some way, and Natsu will realize he loves her, then abandon her because he’s ashamed of hurting her. Bonus points for every chapter this is drawn out.

3) The Natsu that is weirdly snarky and mean spirited. I think the writers are trying to make things sound teasing, but he comes off as an utter dick. Probably a high school!AU. Can be meshed with Natsu #1 to create the biggest douche you will ever see. Is probably sexist and speaks really badly about women, but this is excused because his mother abandoned him as a child.

Sometimes included, but not required:

  • Says something insensitive to Lucy. She cries and is deeply hurt. He never apologizes for this because ??? Potatoes, I guess.
  • If in canonverse, Happy is also probably super mean to Lucy, despite Happy being the most upset about F!Lucy’s death (though, he was roughly on par with how upset Natsu was.).

4) (the Natsu I try to write) This is the Natsu that would exist in canon if Mashima actually gave him character development. Likely pretty close to how he is in canon, though a little more suave and mature. Smarter than the average bear fic Natsu. Still playful and adventurous. Probably still takes Lucy on some kind of adventure. May be a bit rough around the edges.

5) (a la @snogfairy) Dream Boy Natsu. A fantasy man that is perfect in every imaginable way. Is nothing like the actual Natsu. Romantic™. Sophisticated™. An intellectual Man™. Probably reads minds. A fourteen year old girl’s wet dream. Might be a nice guy™.

Sometimes included, but not required:

  • Lucy is a mega blushing virgin. When asked what’s in a guys pants she answers “carrots.” Has no friends.
  • Natsu probably has some hidden piano playing skill. Or, like, the harp or something else that’s sophisticated.
  • Says shit like “cumbersome.”

Thank you @snogfairy.

What The Signs Are Afraid Of

Aries:
Showing weakness - Anybody who has never been close to an Aries would never know that they are actually very sensitive and emotional people. They hate showing their more emotional side because they see that as showing weakness.
They fear that showing their sensitive side will end in others walking all over them or pitying them.

Taurus:
Not being in control - As a fixed sign, Taurus’ hates not being in control. When things change too fast that they can’t process or really accept the fact that things will no longer be how they were before, they get really depressed. They isolate themselves and try to hold onto what they are familiar with instead of following the stream to the unknown.

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