Humanes

9

Ok this blog is not about politics, but somehow it’s about my life.
So here I am, living in Russia, the country with beautiful people: talented musicians, artists, dancers, amazing doctors, teachers and all the other professionals who know how to be a good person and how to do things right.

But the rest of the world judge us just by one politician. Radical, homophobic, aggressive. The world says - that’s their leader as a representation of the nation. So let me show you what our nation is.

Today, on March 26, we had meeting protests against the government throughout the country in 99 (!) cities and towns. People were clamoring against the system and corruption with slogans ‘Russia shall be free’, ‘Russia without Putin’, ‘The criminal has to go to the prison’. In Brazil or South Korea that would end for the government in a fair law court…  But what we got as a feedback? When thousands of unarmed russians went to the street to shout out for justice, thousands of policeman and soldiers started to arrest them. There was no exception for women, children or oldman. I was there, in the heart of Moscow, protesting with others. 

And here I want to say that it literally hurts me when I see in social networks like tumblr all the hatred adressed to Russia. When you are afraid of russians, when you think of us as rude homophobic savages who barely know what civilization and human rights is.

Please
, try to look deeper on what happens here.
We are people. And we need your support. 

As a bonus, photos from another date in St. Petersburg

Humans were classified as dangerous, reasonably so.

Able to eat nearly anything, being able to keep going even after losing a limb, their immense loyalty and uncanny abilities to domesticate even the fiercest of beasts, their powers of deception were unmatched by anyone, thanks to their abilities of being what they named, ‘fucking adorable’.


They were also a highly sought after crew members, due to their extreme durability and bonding instincts.

Lementhar was anxious for the arrival of a human that had wanted to become part of their crew, who was to enter the ship at two Hours past Sun’s Peak.

They had never seen a human in the flesh before, and we’re excited to see if the multitude of rumors were true.

It was nearly time and Lementhar had been preparing the ship the entire day so that it would be a safe and healthy habitat for a human.


A bell tolled throughout the interior of the ship, causing the other crewmates to look at each other nervously, all equally apprehensive of the human’s presence on the vessel.


Lementhar straightened their vest and walked on their double jointed legs to the entry point of the ship, took a deep breath, and pressed the button which allowed the metal door to open with a rush of cold air.


Lementhar looked around. There was no one in sight, and certainly no humans, the intimidating monsters of the galaxy.

A noise sounded from around Lementhar’s legs, someone clearing their throat.

They looked down.

Oh.


A human was staring up at them, one eyebrow raised.

“You’re the captain I presume?”

Lementhar nodded.

“Ah, you are the human, ‘Cassidy’?”

Cassidy nodded, running a hand through her hair.

“I, um, didn’t expect you to be so small?” Lementhar muttered, hoping beyond hope that remarking on one’s size wasn’t rude in human culture, he wanted to make a good impression.

Not to mention he was surprisingly intimidated by the creature, whose head marked a foot under Lementhar’s hip.

To Lementhar’s horror, the human frowned, and their shoulders slumped.

“I didn’t expect you to be so tall. Can I come in?”


Lementhar nodded, stumbling slightly in their haste to step back.

“You stay here, okay? Look around? I’m going to brief my crew that you’re here.”

Cassidy nodded and turned to inspect a potted plant that immediately started snapping at their hand.

They pet it.

Lementhar shook their head to tear themselves away from the odd situation and moved back to where his crew was still waiting, rubbing their hands together in distress.

They all looked up when they heard the door open.

“Well?” Exrilitimis prompted. “What’re they like?”

“Okay, so they are very small, a lot smaller than I predicted.”

The crew gave them quizzical looks and Lementhar took this as a que to explain Cassidy’s size more drastically.

“They come up around a foot under the hip, and are rather petit.”

Lementhar held out his hands to stop the crew from laughing.


“I know, I know, this terrifying creature is very small, but I don’t think it takes kindly to their stature being pointed out, I mentioned how small they were and they seemed upset. So try not to mention it.”


The crew nodded and Lementhar looked back out to the door, remembering in one of his anthropology classes and in the book that had come a week prior explaining how to keep humans safe, had mentioned to never leave humans alone with anything that could either move, or had a face, because they would form an attachment to it immediately, and Lementhar remembered them petting the plant that sat by the door before they left.


“I’m going to bring it back in here to meet everyone, so no one act out, please.”


Once Lementhar had dragged the human into the conference room, everyone started staring at them immediately.

“Do you want to introduce yourself?” Lementhar asked the small creature.

Cassidy nodded, then looked up to the chairs where everyone sat, just over their head, thanks to Levians’ legs taking up more than two thirds of their heights.

“Do you need help, ah, getting up?” By Purity’s sake this was getting more awkward by the minute.

Cassidy’s frown deepened, and they nodded.

Lementhar grabbed them around the middle, their long fingers digging into the soft fabric of the human’s ‘sweater’.

They placed them on the table, where they stood eye level with everyone.


“Hey, my name is Cassidy, she/her, first things first, I know I’m small, I didn’t expect this either, but I swear to god, do not patronize me because I survived a lot more than y'all have, so I better not be treated like i’m less capable.”


Cassidy crossed her arms, glaring at everyone around her.

“Seriously.”


Everyone in the room nodded, and quickly shared their names, all rather intimidated by the cold eyes.

The next day an even taller chair was added to the room, with a stepladder leading up to it.

((PS.I based Cassidy off my wooden bird,,This is probably kind of shitty,, cause this is my first time writing anything with aliens at all,,so…))

Notes to Aliens

When you break a human, make for absolute certain they are dead. Many humans also fail to do this, so do not too bad when you feel blaster plasma on your back.

There is a phrase among humans, “What does not kill me only makes me stronger.”

THIS IS NOT HYPERBOLE. If they are broken, they will heal stronger. If they are not lethally poisoned, they will be immune the next time.

And never leave them for dead either. Others will always find them, and that human will recognize you without fail, be it from your hide, voice, or even walk cycle, they will remember, and they will come for you.

-the last transmission of Bolthak the Betrayer

I can’t believe they literally want to coincide the date Iris is supposed to die with the upcoming break.

From what I hear, after this week, The Flash is on break until April 25th, which would land the 23rd episode (AKA the season finale) on May 23rd, 2017, the date in the future that Barry saw Iris die.

COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.

Fam, it’s gonna be one hell of a season finale.

  • "Here's the thing about humans."
  • "Yeah?"
  • "They don't actually have hyperoptic propulsion."
  • "What?"
  • "Seriously, they have not yet explored photograviton coupling at all."
  • "Not even by accident?"
  • "Nope. Everything they do is at less than seventy five percent of the speed of light."
  • "So how the hell did they colonize four neighbouring systems already?"
  • "They just accepted that it was going to take a long-ass time, and came up with a way to sleep through most of the trip - even though they don't have a hibernation reflex."
  • "That's messed up."
  • "Actually, it's kind of beautiful. They wanted to reach the stars so badly they didn't care how long it took."
  • "Yeah."
  • "Yeah."
  • "So are we going to TEACH them photograviton coupling?"
  • "Oh, fuck no."
  • "Okay, good."
to contribute to the ‘humans are weird’ posts...

Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever

Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death. 

Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing?
Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think? 
Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them? 
Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good.
Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo! 
Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right. 
Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died?
Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really. 
Alien Wiro: … 
Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening. 
Alien Wiro:

@space-australians