i keep trying to memorize every detail of the moments i live in. in the soreness of my legs from standing so long at a concert, the chill of the night, the patterns of a tablecloth, the oily texture in my mouth after eating fried bananas. i keep trying to memorize the feelings, the quiet contentedness, the laughter, the excitement. i keep trying to memorize the people, their smiles, the way they speak, what makes them laugh. i’m constantly on the cusp of the next part of my life and that’s just so.. strange. but it makes it so much easier to find happiness no matter what’s happening to me, in a way? because i’m already kind of looking at life with those rose-colored glasses of nostalgia, simply because i know these are times i’ll never be able to live again, and these are people i might not always have, and that makes it so much easier to appreciate everything i might miss later.
I just watched the episode and I may have gotten slightly over-emotional because Steve loves Danny so much and in this episode it was just so unreciprocated. Yet again he had nothing to say to Steve when they both nearly died. There was no explanation for why he didn’t tell Steve about retiring (and you could see how much that hurt Steve). like I love Danny but what the fuck. does he care about him at all?? HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST TOLD HIM HE’D CALL THE RESTAURANT “STEVE’S” FFS
tbh i know i say this all the time in a gaggy way but i really am in a great place and had the best time of my life in japan and learned so much about myself!! i cant remember the last time i had this much self-love and confidence and was making such mature choices!! but still also being the fun bitch i am!!