How to Stop Being a Loser

anonymous asked:

Hey I saw your other quotes one, thought it was genious . Losers club as "how I met your mother" quotes ?

Bill: Whatever you do in this life, it is not legendary unless your friends are there to see it. 

Stan: Whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Mike: Think of me as Yoda. But instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I’m awesome… Call me Broda.

Beverly: If you’re not scared then you’re not taking a chance. And if you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?

Ben: There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her.

Richie: Guys are like the subway. You miss one, another comes along in five minutes. Unless it’s the end of the night, and then you get on anything.

Eddie: Maybe I want trouble. I haven’t wanted trouble in a long time, but with you, the trouble doesn’t seem so troubling.

Bonus

Henry Bowers: Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.

Reddie first kiss headcanons

- Their first kiss is actually an accident

- Richie is teasing Eddie and being a little shit as usual

- He swoops down to give him a quick peck on the nose

- But he trips and ends up kissing him right on the mouTH

- The ENTIRE Losers Club is there and everyone just fucking STOPS

- They are both SO RED

- Eddie is spluttering and searching around for his inhaler while he tries not to hyperventilate

- Richie is just DEAD

- He stands there like a statue, unable to speak, his eyes wide open

- Stan FINALLY breaks the silence and just deadpans, “Guess we know how to shut Richie up now”

Tips for Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

1. Catch your internal negative critic: People are often hard on themselves. Every time some negative event occurs, and you begin to put yourself down, immediately recognise and stop that thought.

2. Replace your harsh inner critic with a kinder, and more balanced, inner voice: After identifying and discarding your harsh inner critic, make it a habit to regularly thinking good, and affirming, thoughts about yourself. That is, be your own best cheerleader. Say, for example, you do badly on a test and start to describe yourself as a loser, stop and refuse to accept that thought. Instead, deliberately replace it with a more balanced and positive thought.

3. Don’t compare yourself to others: Remind yourself that every person is unique. It doesn’t really matter how you compare to other people. The only thing that matters is whether or not you are good at being you.

4. Seek to love and respect yourself more. Also, remember that if you don’t respect yourself, then it’s going to be hard for other people to respect you. That means choosing to accept yourself for who and what you are - regardless of how you look and feel, or what you have done, or not done.

5. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your permission: If somebody was going to empty a garbage can on top of your head, would you just stand there and let it happen? You have a choice over how to act. In the same way, we can’t stop others from being nasty and mean - but we can choose to reject their comments, and refuse to take them personally. Also, be careful and wise when it comes to accepting advice. Ask yourself if the advice seems reasonable and is actually helping you. If the answer is “yes” then accept the advice. If the answer is “no”, then discard the advice.

6. Hang out with genuine, positive people: That is, with people who encourage you to feel good about yourself.

7. Keep a journal. Write something positive about yourself in your journal every day. Then, when you find yourself suffering from low self-esteem, open up your journal and encourage yourself.

rockerangel9  asked:

Hey,Again I wanted to Resqust another Headcannon of Richie and Eddie. This one is Eddie is out as gay and a kid from school is hitting on him. How would Richie react

~ First of all, Eddie loves telling his coming out story because it is literally one of the funniest things that’s ever happened to him in his whole life and it for sure made the situation less scary and stressful. 

~ He impulsively announced that he had something to say when all the losers were packed into Bills car and he was sitting nervously on the passengers side. He wasn’t quite sure why but this felt like the moment. His mouth spoke before he could stop it. “I have something to tell you guys!” he shouted and instantly regretted it. 

~ He hadn’t even thought about how being packed into a car meant he’d have no way to escape if it all went south. He bit into his lip as his friends quieted to give him attention, even Richie. He swallowed….thinking of all the ways he could possibly back out. “I…well I just wanted to say-”

~ Suddenly, the radio that had been playing some soft song, burst with it’s new loud choice-

~ “I’m Coming Out!” Chimed the radio in Diana Ross’s voice. The car went silent as Eddie took the leap.

~ “That! I wanted to say that!” 

~ “That…you’re coming out?” Beverly asked, a small smile started at the corner of her lips. 

~ Eddie nodded profusely and everyone broke into laughter, Eddie was worried for what felt like an eternity until Bill pats his shoulder and reassures him that they love and support him. 

~With that over with, Eddie walks with his head a little higher in school. He feels so much better about himself. All of the losers notice instantly. 

~ He’s not quite sure why or how, but most of the school just knows too. Eddie notices the decrease in boys comfortably around him. It kills him. His own lab partner seems to have to make sure they sit as far apart as possible. 

~ What quirks peoples eyebrows is the fact that Richie Tozier seems like he hasn’t gotten the memo. Everyone gives him odd looks when Richie throws his arm around Eddie like it’s no big deal. Richie still pinches Eddie’s cheeks like many students saw in passing before. And Richie still sat incredibly close to him. 

~ Eddie secretly adored that he hadn’t changed. He didn’t really think his friends would but he was still thankful that Richie kept on teasing him just the same. 

~ The students though, couldn’t seem to process it. They watched it happen with confusion until Skippy Peterson supplied Richie with smokes in the bathroom. 

“Y’know, Eddie Kaspbrak’s gay right? Aren’t you worried he’ll think you’re flirting with him? What if he thinks he has a shot with you?” 

~ Richie flicked his lighter on and took a deep breath. “I sure hope he does. I’ve been flirting with him since we were like ten. He could’ve had me back then. We could’ve been holding hands at recess if he wanted.” and then he spun out the door, leaving Skippy feeling dumb. 

~ Richie left the bathroom just in time to catch some dude loitering by Eddie’s locker. Which was his job. He started strolling over until Eddie came into view…he could only just hear the conversation.

~ “Hey, Eddie right? I saw you with your friends the other day but I was a little nervous to talk to you then.” 

~ “Why would you be nervous Connor? I have those notes you wanted in my locker, if you would’ve asked I would’ve given em’ to you.” Eddie shrugged as he opened his locker. 

~ Richie rolled his eyes, a little glad that Eddie couldn’t be more oblivious to the fact that this Connor guy was flirting with him. 

~ As Eddie stood on his tip toes to reach, Connor took the chance to look him up and down. That was the last straw. Richie bounded over and slung his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “How ya doin’ Eds?” he ruffled his hair and gave Connor a back off look. 

“Don’t call me that- Oh here you go, Connor.” Eddie handed him the notes and he looked like he might say something else to Eddie but then took another glance at Richie and decided against. 

“Huh, wonder where he’s going so fast?” 

~ “Probably to find some other guy to flirt with.” 

~ “He was not flirting with me.” Eddie rolled his eyes as Richie leaned against the neighboring locker, looking smug. 

“He had his eyes all over you, Eds. His flirting isn’t as good as mine though, Right?” Richie stuck his nose in the air. Eddie gave him a confused look. 

“How would I know?” 

~ “Because I’m always flirting with you…..is this not as clear as I thought?” 

Grover and Annabeth

Listen guys but we don’t focus on the friendship between Annabeth and Grover enough? Like other than Luke and Thalia, Grover is Annabeth’s oldest friend in the demigod world. They know each other so well

  • After Thalia becomes a tree, there’s a time when Luke becomes really distant and focused on training, shutting everything else out. Grover’s the only one Annabeth can talk to
  • Annabeth is the only one who’s always believed that Grover can be a searcher, since the beginning
    Like when the Council of Cloven Elders try and revoke his searcher’s license, she wants to throttle them, and she has to be stopped from doing so
  • Whenever Annabeth’s really, really upset about Luke during the titan war, it’s not Percy she goes to. It’s a complicated subject between them, but Grover understands, because who else would? 
  • Grover being the number one Percabeth shipper since the beginning, like I know Piper being a huge Percabeth shipper is funny and all, but let’s be real Grover’s the biggest
  • Annabeth going to Grover for advice when she first realised she had a crush on Percy because who else would she turn to?
  • When Percy and Annabeth start going out, Grover has separate talks with both of them making sure they don’t plan on hurting the other (even though he really knows he doesn’t need to, but he’s been waiting to do this for years)
  • Annabeth makes a super big effort to be friends with Juniper because she can tell he’s super important to Grover
  • Grover dragging Annabeth to wildlife conservation marches, and Annabeth getting super into it and creating big signs 
  • Annabeth and Grover having inside jokes from the good memories of their time on the run, referencing it 
  • Percy always rolling his eyes when they do so because why does he love these dorks?
  • When Percy and Annabeth sleep together for the first time, Grover totally realises and man, it’s mortifying for everyone involved
  • Whenever someone makes fun of Grover for being the Lord of the Wild because ‘he’s just a weak, runty, satyr loser!’ Annabeth goes mad
  • Percy usually stops her from getting into fights but this time he’s helping her
  • Imagine when Grover’s the best man at Percy and Annabeth’s wedding, he not only tells a bunch of stories about Percy but also about Annabeth, because he has loads from when they were younger
  • Grover being the godfather of Percy and Annabeth’s child
  • Grover totally crying when he sees the baby for the first time
  • Annabeth working with Grover on how to make camp half-blood and camp jupiter greener 
  • Annabeth 100% making sure all the buildings she designs when she’s a leading architect are sustainable and environment-friendly, and you bet Grover’s so proud
  • Just
  • Grover and Annabeth’s friendship

It’s really sad to see super talented artists, like artists who understand light and composition and reflection and textures and whatnot, that don’t know how to draw more then one face on a girl. Like how did you get this far without ever being taught better, who allowed you to do this, you have so much potential but you yourself act like you’re mediocre. Stop being a loser and try a little harder

anonymous asked:

have you seen the things about Robbie from victorious being teenage Richie? Because now I can't stop imaging the losers club at a performing arts school

lol YES I have. And honestly??? Probably accurate based on book Richie, regardless of how similar Ezra and Finn look (because I know that’s the other popular pairing)

Okay but LOOK a CONCEPT

Richie and Bev after she was dared to dye her hair dark for a month

Richie and Bev senior year//college 

Eddie (??) being so done with his friends


Also YES oh my god imagining them at a performing arts school is so sweet. Or, an art school in general. Like, actor Richie?? Bill who spends all day in the art studio doing charcoal and sketch drawings??? Singer Mike?? Designer Bev??? DIRECTOR STAN. Writer Ben?? Photographer Eddie??? Sign me up. 

Richie Tozier: Cat got your Tongue

Request  “ Hi! Can you do a Richiexreader imagine where he has a crush on you (Beverly’s best friend) and the others don’t think it’s serious so when Beverly invites her to the lake Richie is very nervous and the others tease him so much that the reader is confused and uncomfortable so she leaves but Richie goes after her and confesses?” - Anon

A/N  → I can’t tell if it’s too fast paced or if it’s just because i’ve re-read this 100 times. I hope you like it!

Pairing → Richie Tozier x Reader (She/Her Pronouns)

Warnings  → none


“I uh. I’m just gonna go- Bee, I’ll um…see you tomorrow?” You said to Beverly, turning on your heel with a feeble wave.

Without an answer, you hastily shucked your denim jacket over your underwear and made the awkward and quick climb up to the Quarry’s path, leading in and out. Your cheeks burned, and you were awfully hot considering you had just climbed out of the water.

Were they laughing at you? No… Were they?

You had arrived, and clung to Beverly. Her being the only other girl, and the only other person you knew, as you tried to enjoy the day. But every time you turned your back, you heard snickers and bickering and hushed swears. Don’t take it personally. You insisted to yourself. It’s probably just an in-joke you weren’t privy to. Beverly wouldn’t hang out with a bunch of assholes.


“You bunch of assholes” hissed Beverly, smacking Stan and Eddie softly.

Keep reading

Why is the popular characterization of Stanford Pines still this “cold, stuck up science jerk with ambiguous morals” sorta thing…have you seen him??? Sure he’s spent the last 30 years in dimensions with rules and social norms wildly different than ours, and sure he can be standoffish at times and get really carried away with his research, but other than that honestly he’s like… embarrassingly wholesome. Did y'all miss the “gotta do the right thing even when it seems impossible” speech? The part when he pulls out a picture of him and Stan as kids that he’s kept in his pocket for 30+ years? The time where he stops what he’s working on to play a goofy board game with his 12 year old nephew, complete with doing ridiculous hand gestures and poses when he talks about different characters? Or how about how he’s been wandering through dimensions with no home or resources with ppl hunting him down and he like…can’t stop overthrowing evil regimes and being friendly to random people and generally doing good? Its not that the angsty loser of science who gives weapons and mind control ties to children isn’t him, but sometimes i kinda wanna see more Stanford “chronic dogooder with a marshmallow center” Pines in fan work, y'know?

anonymous asked:

headcannon that one time while having their “annual losers sleepover” ,,, richie wakes eddie up in the middle of the night and takes him to the roof to look at the stars

you can pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands (morden au because big hero six jokes)

- the losers had weekly sleepovers because they’re lonely bitches who need healthy relationships

- given how dead inside they all were

- it’s not surprising they went to sleep really early like a bunch of old people

- richie teh king of insomnia could not sleep would not sleep and did not sleep (can’t stop won’t stop)

- and he was a lonely bitch boi who woke up eddie at 2 in the fucking morning

- because tbh he had a fear of being alone at night

- eddie glared at him but got up anyway because at night the gay is at it’s peak and he was a light sleeper

- richie being the hellion he is grabbed eddie’s wrist and led him up to the roof

- ignoring eddie’s tiny sounds of protest because when has he ever done anything that eddie didn’t protest

- when they got the roof eddie just hoped they weren’t here to do some joint suicide type shit

- but then richie blushed like he actually blushed and told eddie he wanted to look at the stars

- eddie didn’t question why he didn’t just do that by himself

- because ya know richie wasn’t being very richie he was being so soft and eddie didn’t want to lose that

- wow that was a soft thought damn eddie was going soft too

- richie wasn’t as good at knowing things about the stars like stan or mike was

- but he bullshitted his way through a lot of stories about how certain constellations were made

- like one that was legit just a retelling of big hero six but eddie went along with anyway

- just because it made eddie smile and even sometimes laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it

- richie thought happiness suited eddie

- it was nice, it felt like it was just them, no anyone else, no problems, no shitty parents, just them and the billions of stars looking down on them

- “hey eds, the stars are beautiful, but you know who else is beautiful?”

- eddie groaned and rolled his eyes because he was blushing and he did not like the sound of that “no richie, who?”

- richie’s smirk was back in full force but that fond smile he wore for the short time they were up here was still there

- “tadashi hamada, too bad he’s dead”

- eddie sighed and fought back a smile

- “goddamnit richie stop with you and that fucking movie you cried when tadashi died”

- “yeah and so did you”

- by the time they had their usual stupid argument it was a couple hours later and it had gotten presumably colder than earlier

- richie said nothing as he scooted closer and gave eddie his jacket

- eddie did the same

- until five minutes later

- “if you wake me up again i’ll kill everything you love”

- “guess you’d have to kill yourself then ;)”

the reason i hate fack

listen jack and finn would be cute af as a couple sure

but besides the fact that they both say it makes them uncomfortable

it also is sort of disrespectful and sort of homophobic????

heres why ok hear me out

y’all ship them bc they hug and say i love you and all that

but u know if it was 2 girls y’all wouldn’t give a flying fuck!!!!

but it’s not 2 girls. it’s 2 14 year old boys. so y’all r like omg they hugged it’s official!!!1!

stop it!!!! let boys be affectionate w each other w/o worrying about gay rumors!!!!! let boys say they love each other and let them kiss each other’s cheek and hug each other!!!!! let them act like how me and my best friends act! let boys be soft and happy and touchy and sweet!!

it just fuckin pisses me off that ppl r like omg boys? soft? GAY! like no!!!! stop it!!!!!!!!!

also this is not to say i don’t ship support the characters being shipped i just mean stop writing 2 real life kids into fan fictions and smuts and shit. let them be kids! let them post embarrassing photos of each other and cuddle and shit without worrying about people bothering them about dating ok

anonymous asked:

guy gets a little too touchy/flirty with eddie while the losers club are at a party. reddie is already together and Eddie is clearly confused + uncomfy. richie, in all his drunken glory, almost gets into a fight with the guy. The losers are confused? Why is richie about to fight this random guy?? when they finally hear what happened, they tell richie to kick his ass. Eddie tells them all the chill the hell out + Stan and mike being the only reasonable ones & Bev + richie are ready 2 fight

they’re college-aged in this hc!!! super duper mild nsfw / non consensual touching / cursing / alcohol / drug mention

– it was just some college party; Ben knew the guy whose house they were in and had invited all the losers to tag along

– Richie just wanted to go outside with Bev because he heard the word ‘blunt” 

– he was only gone for a few minutes but he left Eddie with Stan on the dance floor. Stan was pretty out of it, but Eddie had only had a few drinks and was just a little tipsy

– Richie took a few hits, talked a bit with Bev and the other people that he didn’t know that were outside, but wandered back in when he started shivering

– that’s when he saw Stan without Eddie on the dance floor. he looked around for Eddie, and finally found him in the kitchen with a guy, who looked like a frat douche if Richie had ever seen one, pressing him into the counter. Eddie looked scared and was trying to push the guy away.

– Richie’s blood boiled when heard Eddie tell the guy to back off, but the guy grabbed the waistband of Eddie’s pants and pulled their hips together roughly as Eddie got visibly more uncomfortable and more angry and kept trying to squirm away

– Richie is a protective little shit we all know this it’s canon okay no arguments

– he bursts forward and grabs the guy’s shoulder, yanking him away from Eddie

– “get the fuck off my boyfriend, you prick!!”

– but then Bill and Mike and Ben wander in and see Richie???? grabbing this guy??? looking like he’s getting into a fight????? 

– they run forward and Bill and Ben pull Richie back and Mike stands between Richie and Dickhead (as he will be referred to from now on because “the guy” is getting annoying)

– “let me fucking go guys I need to kick this guy’s ass!!”

– “R-richie what the fuck, man, what are y-you doing?” “dude calm down are you really that drunk?”

– “he toUCHED EDDIE”

– *cue bill/ben/mike looking quickly between richie, dickhead, and eddie only to see eddie nod in agreement to richie’s words*

– Bill and Ben immediately let Richie go and Mike steps away “he’s all yours, Richie”

– ok my boi Richie is protective but he can’t fight for shit so they let him swing a punch at the guy (he gave him a pretty good clock to the jaw, it was respectable) before Bill stepped in and pushed the dude against the counters

– “don’t fuck with anybody else t-tonight, especially not our f-friends. underst-stand”

– Richie is being Richie and still trying to get to him, until Eddie grabs his arm and pulls him to his side

– “guys it’s over it’s fine okay just drop it”

– Mike agreed and herded everyone out of the kitchen, leaving Dickhead to steam by himself

– Richie is in Angry and Protective for the rest of the night and won’t leave Eddie’s side and glares at Dickhead whenever he’s in sight

– when Bev and Stan find out what happened, Stan drunkenly congratulates Mike and Eddie on not being idiots and getting into a fight at a party. Bev and Richie scream with each other about it and talk about how they should find the guy and kick his ass while Eddie snaps at them to shut the fuck up

– “Richie I love you but chill the fuck out you’re gonna get yourself kicked out”

– “he violated you!!!! he deserves to pay!!!” (and then Bev: “LET’S KICK HIS ASS, RICH”)

– Mike and Stan are sitting there grumbling about how extra Rich and Bev are being “will you two FUCKING DROP IT” “i swear to god you can’t fight shit Richie you’re just gonna break your glasses again and we’re gonna get kicked out jesus christ” 

– after Richie finally stops being angry (when Bev goes to smoke again but he won’t leave Eddie alone again) he spends the rest of the night with his arms wrapped around Eddie and muttering how much he loves him and how he’ll gladly get his glasses broken by any asshole that touches his Eddie Spaghetti while Eddie blushes and mutters about not calling him that

So it’s 3 in the morning, but I can’t stop thinking about how uneccessary it was to make Mike an orphan in the movie. Mike probably has the healthiest relationship with his parents out of all the Losers and his father was very influential and inspirational to his son. One of the most moving scene in the novel was in one of the interludes where Mike talks about being a teenager and being by his father’s side as he dies and I’m bitter was fuck that we were robbed of that

the nonsense im seeing with this pennywise shit is mindboggling. like you losers really out here trying to reason why a character that delights in violent homophobia and fascism (amongst other things) and is based on a real life serial killer child molestor rapist being joked about being gay is totally a-okay and not homophobic At All Really Do You Ever Have Fun Lol xD

like do yall ever just stop and think “hm maybe, just MAYBE, for once ill use some fucking critical thinking skills” ? because yall should give it a go. let me know how it was.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any headcanons about what would have happened had Eddie survived?

um what are you talking about?? eddie is fine?? 

-eddie is rushed to the hospital, where the other losers stay with him every moment of the day 

-when eddie is finally given permission to leave, he decides that he doesn’t want to go back to his wife. he never truly loved her. his mother always told him that he should be with a girl, and he no longer wants to listen to her anymore. richie automatically tells him he can stay with him

-all the losers kind of staying over at richie’s (the others staying in hotels), and they all take turns being there for eddie. 

-richie only has one bedroom and one bath, so eddie and richie share a bed. one night, eddie wakes up in sweat, crying over having only having one fucking arm. richie makes small jokes, wrapping his arms around eddie and pulling him closer and kissing his forehead

-eddie remembering how it felt to be with richie, and eddie kisses richie. richie also remembering how it felt to be with eddie, but he stops the kiss cause eddie is not in the right state of mind and he’s not dumb 

-eddie wakes up to richie cooking breakfast, and he goes over and kisses richie to show him it wasn’t just for that moment 

-eddie and richie date for six months, and richie proposes. they are happily married with good jobs and two years later they adopt a kid

HAPPILY EVER AFTER LITERALLY NOTHING EVER SAD HAPPENS TO THEM AGAIN

I literally just had to stop in the middle of my shower because of this but here’s some headcanons thank u for 1.2K followers!

🎈HC that when Eddie dies the losers all still hear his voice

🎈they think they’re just imagining him saying “you’re gonna eat that off the floor, richie, seriously? Do you even KNOW how many germs that has on it?”

🎈this happens ALL THE TIME, they’re mostly just think they’re subconsciously judging themselves for being gross

🎈but then some time goes by and the complaining turns into things like “I wish I weren’t dead” and “I really miss you guys”

🎈and then once or twice hysterical,heartbreaking sobbing

🎈everyone thinks they’re imagining it cause they miss him

🎈until one day at the quarry richie snaps “shut the fuck up, Eds, find someone else to give a TED talk to” after a long monologue on how bad cigarettes are

🎈everybody stops at all once, and Richie goes pale when he realizes what he’s said and starts stumbling over excuses

🎈“you hear him too?” Mike asks, looking relieved

🎈”wait you can hear me?!” Eddie shouts

🎈and it turns out Eddie is in a Danny Phantom situation, stuck between alive and not

🎈eddie makes the most of his invisibility by doing funny shit like beating up the bowers gang

🎈there was also that candy bar richie made him steal (“no Bev & Richie I’m not using my ghost status for stealing u cigarettes if you want lung cancer you’re gonna have to pay for it yourself you fucking dumbasses”)

🎈also Eddie talks to Georgie for Bill, sometimes, like a mediator between the dead and living. Bill never quite manages to look directly where Georgie is, but it’s close enough

🎈feel free to add onto this!

Distance Pt. 2 (Richie Tozier/Reader)

Part 1

(A/N: I cut it up for the sake of not being terrible. this was 7 pages long on my google docs things so like hahahahahah kms. anyways still terrible dont worry. This is the shorter of the two parts I couldn’t slice it real evenly)

Request: “Richie pushes Y/N away because his fear (that he didn’t share w/ the losers is losing her) and he thinks it’ll just be easier if she hates him. And then @ the resolve, there’s a line from her that’s like “I hate it when you’re not around and that you didn’t call. But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you. Not even close. Not even a little. Not even at all” (from the movie 10 things I hate about you) AND THEN SOME DRAMATIC KISS OR SOMETHING. please and thank you ilysm”

Keep reading

Honestly watching people climb the social ladder is so wild. theres this dude i know that went from being a computer nerd that nobody really cared about/liked to hanging with the Popular Kids™ cause he built a reputation on wearing these awesome and colourful shirts and hoodies. people around me are adapting and evolving to fit in by standing out and im still sitting in the drama room playing my gameboy alone every lunch

cancer sticks - a reddie oneshot

summary: Richie Tozier is in love with two things: smoking and a certain Eddie Kaspbrak, a voice of reason in his life.

word count: 1.6k

warnings: uhhhhhh making out(?), cigarettes, death.

a/n: huuuuuge thank you to @wyattsnoodles and @polaroidreddie (who also helped me with the proposal part i am in DEBT to you el) for beta reading i owe you guys !


Richie Tozier shared his first cigarette with Beverly Marsh, sitting late at night on the edge of the quarry, bitching like friends do. He was sixteen, young, scared and sad. And Beverly shared some empathy with him by pulling out her pack of Marlboro’s, letting him use the lighter first.

It had tasted so disgusting. It felt like he was choking but once the initial shock had passed, he laughed drowsily. “We are so fucked up.”

It became their “thing”. Beverly would suck up all her pride and somehow manage to sneak two packs from the pharmacy by complementing the clerk. They would sneak out when Richie’s father was having a bad drunken episode, or when Beverly suffered from nightmares and they’d meet at the quarry and smoke a cigarette each.


Beverly kept her habit under control, worried her aunt would sniff something from her thrift store clothes and she’d never leave the house again. Richie had a harder time. He often stole a pack or two himself, playing the pharmacist’s daughter like a fiddle with his curly hair and soft freckles. Richie started smoking even when he wasn’t at the quarry.

On his seventeenth birthday, Richie had his first kiss in a drunken haze. Eddie Kaspbrak’s soft lips crashing against his as somebody cheered in the background. 

As soon as he pulled away, Eddie frowned. “God, you taste like a fucking cancer stick.” He said, alcohol affecting his ability to filter insults. Richie pouted.

“Eddie, Eddie. You know you love it.” He grinned lopsidedly, but somewhere deep inside of him, he started to swear off his bad habit. Slowly.

The night went smoothly after that, Richie earning more kisses and a boyfriend after it was over. Happiness filled the void it had left a long time ago.

During his last year of high-school, Richie’s father smashed a beer bottle against his son’s head. Richie was out cold for eighteen hours, Eddie holding his hand at the hospital the entire time.

When he finally came to consciousness, Eddie started crying. “Oh my fucking god you asshole,” He sniffled.

Richie had never been more confused as he was enveloped into the biggest, most loving hug of his life. Richie wept into Eddie’s shirt, his head starting to pound with pain.


“I’m sorry,” He whispered. Eddie pulled away from the hug and cupped his face in his hands.

“It wasn’t your fucking fault. Your dad’s an asshole.” He kissed the freckled boy passionately, despite the hospital nurse watching. Despite there being a chance they’d get kicked out for kissing.

“Fuck, Richie, how much did you smoke before you got knocked out?” Eddie said, looking into the melancholic eyes before going back into making out. Richie’s promise to stop smoking started yelling somewhere deep within him. What else have you got in your dumbass life besides this idiot? He thought to himself, hand feeling at Eddie’s soft curls.

When Richie had turned twenty-one, the Losers Club disbanded and they all went their separate ways promising to stay in touch. Only Ben and Beverly, and Eddie and Richie stayed together.

On the final night before they all said their goodbyes, Beverly invited Richie to the quarry to smoke again.

She offered him the first cigarette: “Tradition.” she said, smiling sadly. But Richie declined, surprisingly.

“Fuck, Bev, I love him so much. He’s everything to me. W-when It was rampaging everywhere? I was so fucking worried every single night. I barely slept. That’s what threw me off the whole operation anyway.” Richie wiped his nose hurriedly on his oversized flannel sleeve. “Eddie got hurt.”


Beverly nodded understandingly. “And he told you to quit it?” She asked, lighting her own.

“I can’t disappoint him. He’s all I have.” Richie cried for the first time in a while. The clown’s scars had cut deep. Seeing his missing posters. Being scared every day. But Eddie had been there for him. He couldn’t let his love down.

Little did he know, Kaspbrak had followed the two, worried Richie would start up his habit again with Beverly. Eddie was so pleasantly surprised to hear Richie say he loved him that he almost ran out and kissed him but didn’t want to blow his cover.


Richie looked down at the water below and spat in it. “To the fucking horrifying world.” Bev cheered along with him.

When the millennium changed, he cheered along with Eddie Kaspbrak cuddling to him, and Richie laughed and smiled, seemingly having left the horrors of Derry behind. Eddie grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him into a long kiss as they heard fireworks blasting in their neighbor’s yards.

“I’m so fucking glad I got you.” Eddie smiled. No comment about Richie’s cancerous tasting kisses. He hid it so well, but he felt guilty all the time. But if he didn’t, the nightmares returned and his hands shook and he saw… things.

But Eddie knew. He loved his boyfriend so much, he wouldn’t be oblivious to the reek of tobacco in the bathroom.

When February rolled around, they had a big fight. “I fucking know, Edward.” Richie fought tears. “I fucking know they’ll kill me!”

“Then stop! Please!” Eddie was crying.

“Y-you think I don’t want to? Eddie, Eddie…” Richie paused for breath. “I see It. Everywhere. It’s making me insane it’s making me shake and dream bad things and,” He broke down. “I’m so afraid.”

Richie collapsed into Eddie’s arms and shivered.

“Sixteen more years.” An apathetic joy set into Richie’s voice. He laughed lifelessly.

“What do you mean?” Eddie looked down at him questioningly.

“Times up.” Richie laughed and was silent for the rest of the night. Eddie saw him throw away all his packs the next day though, and when Richie kissed, there wasn’t an overbearing flavor of mint but more chocolate milk which he still liked to drink every morning, and more fresh wind which made his hair flow so smoothly.

There was more happiness in his kisses.

2015. Richie started smoking again. It had been fifteen years since the fateful argument. And only one more year till:

“Time’s up!” He repeated every morning to the mirror after Eddie left for work.

Something changed when he realised he could marry Eddie. They’d spent twenty-three long years together hoping, wishing, they’d get to make it more official than holding hands walking down the street. And now they had a chance.

Richie Tozier wasn’t much of a planner really. He had zero impulse control but he knew he had to make this perfect. Eddie was probably getting impatient. Twenty-three years was a long time to wait for marriage. He bought a ring with money they’d saved over the years. He was proud he could afford one with a wonderful, shimmering emerald.

He picked the perfect date. A calm weekend when he knew nothing would be happening. When he knew Eddie was least expecting it. And then he waited.

On the evening of the day before though, Eddie brought a bottle of red wine home and they drunk it till the last drops had disappeared from the bottom. Richie’s head was spinning as he put on some music and drunkenly asked Eddie to dance with him.

Their big grandfather clock, something Eddie had bought because: “We need to look sophisticated, Richie!” chimed three in the morning. They were both too drunk to dance properly. Richie was just leaning his head on Eddie’s shoulder and swaying offbeat.

“Eddie,” He breathed and took in the scent of his fiance-to-be. “I love you.” His voice was slurred but Eddie still understood and buried his head into Richie’s shoulder, being flustered being one of his key drunken traits.

“I love you too, Richard.” He had once tried to get them.to use formal names but with fail. He still occasionally called Richie Richard which annoyed him endlessly, but tonight was special.

“W-will you fucking marry me Edward Kaspbrak?” Richie asked. Eddie breathed in sharply and then started crying.

“I thought you’d never ask,” He sniffled. Richie fumbled for the ring in his jacket pocket and then got down shakily on one knee and put the ring on Eddie’s finger.

“Fuck, I’m in love with you,” Eddie laughed.

October 17th, 2015. 

The bachelor party was just one big gathering of the former Loser’s Club, successful adults were chattering away excitedly, trying not to touch the minibar, nobody wanting a hangover the next day. When everybody was talking to Eddie and congratulating him, and Richie had a moment of time on his own, he went out into the balcony.

Beverly followed him and they sat on the edge of the rail, talking like old times, imagining there was a lake which reflected the beautiful sky back at them. There was only a parking lot and dumpsters where they were looking, but the moment was there.


“Cig?” Beverly asked. Richie reached out and took the cancer stick and threw it into the night.

“I’m too fucked over and too IN LOVE to fuck with those again.” Beverly laughed and then looked at him for a long time.
In the darkness of the night, Richie couldn’t see her face clearly and started seeing things.

He thought he saw her smile stretch so big it ripped at her flesh and made her eyes bulge out of her head but when he blinked, the vision was gone. He tried to shake it off as an alcohol influenced vision but felt odd for the rest of the conversation (mostly about how brave he was to ask first and how awesome it was that they were finally getting married) and excused himself quickly. He didn’t stay alone with either of the Losers at the party anymore. He was afraid of it happening again.

October 18th, 2015. Beverly tied up his bow tie neatly and patted his shoulder. “It’s going to be fine.”

Richie nodded his head, trying to swallow his nervousness. His mind was going fuckfuckfuckilovehimfuckfuckfuck.

Eddie looked gorgeous as he held his hands and stared into his brown eyes as the pastor made a speech about love and yadda, yadda, let me kiss him.

There was no ceremonious “You may now kiss the groom!”, because as soon as the pastor finished speaking, Richie grabbed Eddie by his tie and kissed him hard.

Eddie looked into his eyes and smiled so that the skin around his eyes wrinkled and creases formed on his forehead. God, they were getting old. Richie thought about the days he’d get to spend with his now-husband, the way the years seemed to stretch out forever in front of them as he had finally been able to quit his addiction for good.

He had it all planned out. They’d die together, holding hands and saying some great last words before passing away, always to be missed.

2016.

Richie couldn’t hold his tears but he was glad the rain was making them invisible.

He started his wobbly speech.

“Isn’t it ironic?” He fumbled for something in his pocket.

“Stop smoking, Richie,” He mimicked his husband’s squeaky voice. “It’ll kill you soon!”
“You always told me that.” He contemplated a moment before continuing. “And then-

A loud sob racked his entire body. “Here you are, dying before me!” He let out a loud wail, crying into the night.

“I fucking loved you. Every second ever spent with you. Every moment I held your hand, every moment you kissed me.”

“I fucking love you, Edward Kaspbrak.” He breathed shakily. “Eddie Spaghetti.” He pulled out the first pack of Marlboro’s he’d bought in a year and brought a cigarette to his lips.

“To a fucked up life.” He reached out and stroked the letters on the gravestone.

Eddie Kaspbrak
Gone too soon.
Fuck you all.
1976-2016

The fuck you all was his addition. Richie chortled with sad laughter as he brought the lighter to his cancer stick.

“Time’s up!” He mumbled as he lit it.