“Promise me that you will tell him how we met.  And how you used to make me laugh.  He needs to know that you weren’t always so serious, Aaron.   I want him to believe in love.  Because it is the most important thing.   But you need to show him.   Promise me.”

This is loooong rambling.——

One of the biggest reason why I’m so into Hotch/Beth development is, that I know Hotch was once very happy and how his personal happiness turned into hell.  I know what he has been through, not just as his background story but ongoing process.  He was happiest at the beginning of the series and kept going downhill for four seasons and half to hell.  And as if divorce was not enough, his world got almost completely destroyed by Foyet (his confidence and pride and everything he built up).   And in a way I experienced his hell with him (I mean, it was really really hard for me to watch Hotch during season 5,  he was on the edge and tried really hard to keep himself together and…  Morgan/Hotch scene in the end of 5.11 Retaliation was one of the hardest to watch because I cannot help but compare Morgan’s confidence and Hotch’s “barely keeping pieces of himself together” feature.).

I alway think Hotch and Haley’s story was very real.  And always feel sad for both of them because sometimes love is not enough to be together and I feel pain for the fact that’s the case for them.  I think failed marriage destroyed part of him once.    But also I have a feeling at the end of season 4 Hotch started to make some kind of peace with Haley (judging by the way he talked on the phone in Amplification.).  And when I think about this way, Foyet’s ordeal become more cruel for Hotch.  Because Foyet destroyed what Hotch started fixing completely and made sure Hotch would feel guilty over it.  This could have destroyed Hotch completely.  This should have destroyed Hotch completely.  Because that’s exactly what Foyet planned.

I feel, during divorce and Foyet’s attack, at one point he lost hope or even any desire to be happy for himself ever again.  But then there’s Haley’s promise left.  Whatever happened between them, I think this promise was her biggest love for Hotch.  Because she knew this could destroy Hotch and made sure Hotch can move on from this and try to be happy again.  Because she knew him and wanted him and Jack to be happy.  She wanted Hotch to make Jack happy.

And Hotch started to build himself again little by little and started to build his life with Jack.

And Beth comes.  With full of positive energy and brightness.  

And she brings back part of Hotch which he himself has been forgotten ever been existed to life.

I’m just…. so fascinated how Hotch’s story is playing out in the show and just so happy to see he finally starts trying to be happy, not only for Jack but for himself.  

And I think Beth is smart and cute and funny and just perfect for Hotch and Jack.  I can really easily imagine why she can bring this playful and joyous Hotch back to life and their happy life together with Jack.

I welcome and look forward to see coming inevitable difficulty they will face.  I’m so glad TG takes this relationship seriously.  But, the show, please don’t destroy this.  Please make them live happily together when series ends.


- Little Hotch (and Morgan) Moment: 6.05 Safe Haven

This might be a little off the point, but, when I watched this scene this time (after I watched “Through the Looking Glass” and thought about Hotch’s broken marriage again), it hit me that, by this time, Hotch had had his answer, he had understood, why Haley left him.  The way he talked about Ellie’s mom, so so gentle and soft, and the way he spoke for her, I feel that Hotch got some answer.  He understood and accepted Haley’s choice.  And I feel, maybe, maybe if Haley was alive at the time, they could have fixed their marriage.  Maybe he hoped so.  And I feel a little sad.  And this Hotch’s face.  Gentle, but a little sad.

One more thing that hit me is, in this episode, Hotch was never really worried about Morgan for making bad choice for Ellie.  He had no doubt Morgan would handle it the best way for her.  From the beginning.  In the beginning plane scene, Morgan was busy trying to convince Hotch but Hotch was, he sounded more like a little amused that 9 years old girl came all the way to Quantico alone.  I mean, really, you didn’t have to make excuses or bring up Jack to convince Hotch, Morgan.  He knew what Ellie is for you and trusts you whole heartedly.  

I know I have several prompts in my inbox and a drabble challenge to do, but somebody somewhere in the Hotch tag said something about how there should be a scene with Hotch keeping his promise to Haley - telling Jack how they met and how they used to be and whatnot.  Sooo…


He’s seen it coming in the number of candles on the birthday cakes and the slow, steady appearance of posters on the bedroom walls, but Hotch finds himself thoroughly unprepared for life with a teenage son.

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