The Poughkeepsie Tapes

The Poughkeepsie Tapes is a documentary/found footage style horror movie made in 2007. Though this isn’t like any other normal horror movie. Because of the content within the film, the Poughkeepsie Tapes was only released to the public seven years after its filming in 2014.

The plot follows some 800+ tapes found in the empty home of an active serial killer who sadistically tortures his victims in every way imaginable. From psychological torture to physical mutilation the movie depicts the abduction of children, killing of women, abduction of women, rape, bondage, and so much more.

If you have a weak stomach or are sensitive to the utmost realistic depiction of what a sadistic serial killer would do, I suggest you steer clear of this movie. Though if you’re like me, this movie is as close as you’re ever going to get to seeing the world through the eyes of a sadistic serial killer, unless you are one.

Once very hard to find anywhere other that private collections, the movie is now fairly simple to find online, and, interestingly enough, is the source of a few clips found in most scary/deep web video compilations.

The Haunting of Netflix House 4: The Netflix Master

Greetings, boils, ghouls, and gender non-boonaries: it is honeycrisp time and that means there is a bite in the air and a spoop around every corner, so Regular People are finally ready for scary movies, but only if they can be conveniently streamed into their home via a service to which they already subscribe.

For that reason, I have returned to, as I did last year and the year before and the year before, point you in the direction of good, notable, or at least interesting horror and horror-adjacent movies available to stream on Netflix. Hopefully you will find something new and cool that your friends have never heard of and you will win the Halloween Party. This list, though it physically exhausts me to compile, is not actually exhaustive, so if I left off a favorite of yours, I could not possibly be more sorry about that. I am the sorriest I can possibly be.

Normally I post this on October 1, but as the first is a Saturday this year and all you cool #teens are too busy with your regular blood orgies to look at Tumblr on the weekend, I’m posting this a little early. I hope you do not consider this Halloween creep.

NB: This list is being posted on September 29, 2016. If for some reason this list gets reblogged in The Distant Future, some of these movies may have expired. The same applies to previous years’ versions of this post. If you click an old link, that’s on you.

Not everything is to everyone’s taste, so I will do my best to make note of movies that might contain certain turn-offs, like content or sub-genre trappings or being slowly paced or whatever. NB: again, this is by no means an exhaustive list of trigger warnings. I can’t always remember every detail of every movie when I make this list, so something is sure to slip through. Please look a movie up on a site along the lines of Common Sense Media that lists potentially objectionable or triggering content if this is a concern for you.

Okay god shut up and just say some movies holy hell

Classics (this section seems to get smaller every year):

Horror Comedies: 

  • Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (highly recommended)
  • Re-Animator (over the top gross-out humor) 
  • Troll Hunter (not horror in the traditional sense; not a “Halloween” monster; found footage style; subtitled; awesome) 
  • The Host (subtitled; not a “Halloween” monster) 
  • Dead Snow (subtitled; Nazi zombies) 
  • Dead Snow: Red vs Dead (fucking awesome, better than the first one; definitely watch both as a double feature if you want fun times)
  • Burke and Hare (starring Simon Pegg; directed by John Landis if that is a turn on or off for you) 
  • Bad Milo (this is a movie about a butt demon, but check out that cast, wow) 
  • The Double (Richard Ayoade! Jesse Eisenberg! Not horror in the traditional sense; more existential angst) 
  • Housebound (recommended)
  • Deathgasm (the best the best the best; watch immediately)
  • Wolfcop

Haunted House/Ghost shit: 

Vampire shit: 

Werewolf shit: 

  • Late Phases (old blind guy vs werewolves; pretty good)
  • When Animals Dream (hit some similar thematic notes to Ginger Snaps, but completely different tonally; subtitled)

Zombie shit: 

  • Pontypool (not traditional zombies; super recommended)

Witch/Demon/Pagan shit: 

  • Baskin (subtitled; super gory; also, the protags are asshole cops who tell transphobic stories and say homophobic slurs and talk about bestiality at the beginning, so heads up; worth a watch if that doesn’t bother you)
  • Hellions (this is not *great,* but it looks good and is heavily Halloweeny)

Found footage shit:

  • V/H/S (lots of sex, violence, and sexualized violence 
  • V/H/S/2 (same) 
  • V/H/S Viral (same but in a different way)
  • Apartment 143 (kind of cliched and predictable, but I applaud the filmmakers for taking a scientific approach to the storytelling) 
  • The Sacrament (inspired by [edit: notable historical incident]; directed by Ti West; recommended) 
  • The Den (ChatRoulette the horror movie; highly highly highly recommended) 
  • The Taking of Deborah Logan (super highly recommended; EXPIRING OCT 1! WATCH IMMEDIATELY!)
  • Creep (recommended)
  • They’re Watching (not super amazing, but it’s crazy af and I kind of love it; what if House Hunters International renovated a witch house?)

Slasher shit (needless to say, these are gory):

Psychological/other shit (way more “other” than psychological):

  • We Are What We Are (2013) (recommended) 
  • Monsters (really good; not “Halloween” monsters) 
  • Sleepy Hollow (what section do Headless Horsemen go in? Dunno; the movie not the show)
  • The House at the End of Time (highly recommended; subtitled)
  • Honeymoon
  • Starry Eyes
  • White God (DOG REVENGE)
  • Mexico Barbaro (haven’t watched this yet, but on my short list; anthology; presumably subtitled)
  • They Look Like People (this is a slow burn, but super highly recommended)
  • Extraordinary Tales (animated anthology of Edgar Allan Poe stories narrated by famous people; a mixed bag, but cool)
  • Darling (okay, so: this is a really beautiful and atmospheric film that I, generally speaking, recommend; however, it is kind of “artsy,” there is not a lot of dialogue, it is in black and white, there are some light strobing effects, rape does not occur on screen but is implied to have happened in a character’s past)
  • The Hallow (scary fairies)
  • The Invitation (highest possible recommendation)

80s/90s shit:

Non-Supernatural Thriller/Violence shit (these are violent): 

Horror and Horror-Adjacent Documentaries: 

And there you have it. Lots of stuff from previous years’ versions of this list have expired; a frustrating amount, in fact. This might be the year that you should get that free trial to Shudder so you can have an actual selection this Halloween.

Anyway, please do me a solid and only circulate the current version of the list, so people aren’t clicking on dead links and thinking I’m an idiot. Again, this list is not and could not be completely exhaustive, and if I left off your favorite movie, I swear I was not targeting you personally. And, again, some of these movies are more interesting than they are good AND horror is a highly subjective experience, so your mileage may vary on some of these.

If you enjoyed this list, perhaps consider checking out some of my other Halloween-related posts:

Also maybe consider checking out my Letterboxd profile, where I rate and review movies of all types (but primarily horror) all year long and from sources other than Netflix, in case you’re wondering what’s good on Hulu, Shudder, Amazon Prime, or whatever.

Happy Halloween, nerds!

The signs when watching a horror movie...

Aries: Says “OMG” whenever someone gets killed

Taurus: Eats popcorn and hides behind the bowl

Gemini: Is bored so tries to scare everyone every chance they get

Cancer: Peeks up from their blanket every once and awhile

Leo: Yells at the screen telling the victim where to hide (as if they could hear them)

Virgo: Is scared but pretends they’re not

Libra: Falls asleep

Scorpio: Jumps at every sound

Sagittarius: Laughs whenever someone gets killed

Capricorn: Keeps going to the kitchen to get snacks (to avoid getting scared)

Aquarius: Also yells at the screen but suggests different ways that the killer could have killed their victim

Pisces: Blank face (isn’t scared at all)