Mom: Ellen Degeneres is great, but its such a shame that she thinks she’s gay
Me: *Shamelessly flirting with girls* Yeah I know
Mom: Its so sad what must have happened in her childhood to make her like this
Me: *Switches to some Swan Queen fanfic* It really is
Mom: Homosexually goes against nature, why can’t gay people see that?
Me: *Goes on Tumblr and gets that low-down tickle while seeing naughty pictures of women* I have no idea