remember fukkin. late october 2014 when everyone on this website had a feastings pixel family and all people listened to was mystery skulls ghost and the homestuck game over flash literally punted us into a new reality. that was fun

ive been reading the phrase “homestuck fans doxxed dril” all day today so i looked in to it and the reality of the matter is so much more ridiculous than that

homestuck fans didnt dox dril

dril’s name was just in the homestuck adventure game’s credits and people found it there

Homestuck Sizes and Distances

I was procrastinating today and I thought, hey! Why not see just how big the Homestuck Lands actually are? (I was VERY bored).

I started checking John’s house, and assuming his door frames are standard, 6’ 8" ((Or around 2 meters)), I calculated the width of his house at its thickest point. Then I compared it with LOWAS and voilá!

But then I remembered, LOWAS has rivers of tar and clouds! That measurement could have been more than it should. So I took John’s cleaned land from the latest updates and did it again. It was a noticeably much smaller measurement, so to round it a little, as it’s hard to tell sizes when your reference is a 2-7 pixel thick tower, I came up with this.

The Mass and Density of it were taken ASSUMING the Lands and Moons have the same gravity as Earth, because they don’t seem to have it any more easy jumping or anything. Which gives a… Rather small planet, but also I think relatively very heavy and dense?

It makes sense, though, after all the Lands are like Levels of a game. They have things to explore, quests, but they can’t be absolutely massive, and more when each of them is this size. For a single human to explore, and still, full of underground dungeons and with its own landscape? Still a handful! Then…

Skaia’s always seemed a bit bigger than the planets, and it’s quite obvious too since the Battlefield, of the same size as a Land, is inside of it. The measurement was taken from the Double Reacharound pic, assuming the circles that represent the troll planets and Skaia are to scale. Then, Prospit’s size has been calculated from the flash with Infinity Mechanism, the End of Act 6 Intermission 1.

Also, assuming the Gravity in the moons is also like the Earth, as Non-Dream selves have been shown to not float, and Carapacians walk like normal people, this makes the Moons, and the Moons’ Moons VERY heavy, much like the planets. I came out with…

Prospit: 4.193x10^15 kg mass, and 207963.106 g/cm3 density.

Prospit’s Moon: 1.677x10^14 kg mass, and 1039815.53 g/cm3 density.

Which means that nope, Prospit is not literally made out of Gold. Or that you can’t apply real physics to settings like Homestuck.

Once knowing the sizes of the planets, we have the Incipisphere itself. Taking the Double Reacharound picture and this as references, I calculated every planet is 9.7 km away from Skaia, placed at an equal distance from each other in a 57005.69m circumference around it.

Also if you trust that picture, apparently Derse is only 3 and a half km away from the nearest Planet if they are perfectly lined up.

Once I finished this I thought I’d just let it be but I thought- Wait, if I know the sizes and trust this so far, why not go a step further?

So I calculated just how hard the Planets clashed in Game Over.

Aranea spent 2.9 seconds throwing LOLAR towards LOFAF. That’s 1250.91 m/s. It makes me doubt about the Mass of the planets, however, because such an impact would have been EXTREMELY catastrophic. I mean, it was but, 10 thousand million (Or an american billion) times the strength of the most powerful Atomic Bomb ever detonated? That amount also represents the energy from the Sun that arrives to Earth in an entire year. So yeah. That’s a lot. Not sure if I believe that one.

This one’s even more catastrophic. Jane’s planet spent 8.7 seconds moving to LOFAF, and didn’t exactly reach, and Condy flung Dave’s planet, EVEN further away than LOCAH, in just 4.3 seconds. Which means Condy is still badass and much stronger than Aranea, but also, that Dave’s planet was going 4503 km/h towards Jane’s planet. No wonder a chunk came right off it! And that’s not taking into account how Jane’s planet’s speed affected the impact. I’m not too good with Maths, you might have noticed by this point.

I could have left it here but NOPE, since I was doing this I decided to see the strength of Prospit’s moon hitting the Battlefield in [S] Descend.

The result was… Inconclusive. I had two options, either Prospit sped up until it impacted, or it reached some terminal velocity, as it wasn’t being flung, but falling towards the Battlefield.

I checked the time it takes Prospit to hit the Battlefield in the flash, 32 seconds, and if it sped up constantly, it would reach the surface MUCH faster. It also gave the extreme energy released of 2000 Megatons, so I thought that, yeah, maybe a bit too strong.

Its maximum speed would have been around 17 m/s if it had to fall for 32 seconds, so taking that into account…

Yep, 5 Megatons sound like a more believable impact.

I also just noticed I could have calculated the true size of Prospit and Skaia taking how Prospit’s Moon fell right into the Battlefield as seen above. Seeing the size comparison I think either Skaia is bigger or the Lands are smaller… Or Prospite is bigger?

Yeah, I’ve been procrastinating to do this. Gods, what am I even doing.

misc thoughts on troll call

- they read like those tag yourself posts. that’s probably exactly what they’re supposed to be
- how tf are you supposed to pronounce that keymash shit
- ‎holy fuck that’s alot of characters. wouldn’t be a homestuck game without a fuckton of people to keep track of though lmao
- ‎"that’s not coffee" 🤔
- ‎I wonder how many secret fantrolls are in here. I’m 100% certain at least some of these are the team’s fantrolls
- ‎with all these characters what kinda wild typing quirks are we gonna get if each has their own
- ‎it’s gonna be the thing where it takes everyone forever to learn everyone’s names but by the end you have them all memorized all over again
- ‎I wonder what their relation to the protags and to each other is. is this one big network of friend groups? is this a bunch of people on troll social media? both?
- ‎I’m willing to bet at least some of them are solely internet friends because of the different blood castes
- ‎that brings up the thought that, maybe troll internet is like… undermining the caste system? if all these people from different castes are suddenly able to interact alot more. this is interesting to think about
- that ALSO brings up how did they meet. a mutual interest? what interest? we could we getting a snapshot of the alterian furry community for all we know
- anyway ‎I’m here for all these new kids!!!!