The 14 Worst Things About Hugh Hefner, as Revealed in Holly Madison's New Book

Note: these aren’t the worst things he’s ever done, but they do convey a useful insight into his character

1. Though they publicly denied it, all girlfriends were expected to participate in Hef’s bizarre bedtime group sex ritual. “I didn’t immediately realize that all girlfriends were required to sleep with Hef,” Madison writes.

2. Hef would take photos of his girlfriends and him every night before they went out, then have them delivered to each girlfriend’s door the next morning. The photos “only amplified the massive pressure to always look perfect and cause the girlfriends to spend hours critiquing their appearances,” Madison writes. (She also describes Hef as a “hoarder” with “endless desire for momentos.”)

3. Hef offered Madison a quaalude out of a crumpled tissue on her first night out clubbing with him. When Madison told him she doesn’t do drugs, she says Hef replied, “Usually I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills 'thigh openers.’”

4. Among his bizarre set of mansion rules, Madison writes, were that the girlfriends change into identical flannel pajamas before the bedtime routine.

5. He would watch porn, smoke pot, and jerk off while his girlfriends and whoever else happened to be joining them that night pretended to get it on around him.Madison says they would take turns pleasuring Hef, but he always finished by himself. Madison reveals that she made her first foray into Hef’s bedroom after a night out with “roughly a third of a bottle of vodka sloshing around in my stomach.” “There was zero intimacy involved,” she writes. “No kissing, nothing. It was so brief that I can’t even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine.”

6. He made his sons Marston, 9 years old when Madison moved in, and Cooper, 10, share a bedroom with a girlfriend. This was Bedroom 3, which came with three beds and a private bath. “Though they never stayed over when I was there, there were still toys scattered across the bedroom floor,” Madison writes, “which made for an incredibly odd and, frankly, creepy juxtaposition.”

7. He would constantly create drama and infighting among his girlfriends by randomly changing his long-held positions or household policies to favor one over the rest of them. Shortly after Madison moved in, she recalls, one girlfriend moved out of Bedroom 5, a small room that was coveted because it was a single, affording whoever occupied it much-needed privacy that was otherwise hard to come by in the mansion. It was assumed that April, who became a girlfriend only several months before Madison, would move into Bedroom 5, but instead she asked Hef if she could have Bedroom 3 entirely to herself. This was seen as unfair by the rest of the girlfriends based on how bedroom hierarchy had previously worked. But Hef approved her request, forcing Madison to move out of the room. Hef was also known to hate red lipstick, Madison says in her book. When Madison came home from the salon after a makeover that included shorter hair and red lipstick, Hef reportedly told her, “I hate the whole look. I hate the makeup and I hate the red lipstick.” He added, “You look old, hard, and cheap.” When Kendra Wilkinson moved in later and appeared before Hef wearing red lipstick, Madison braced herself for his wrath, only for him to tell Wilkinson, “Why, that red lipstick looks absolutely wonderful on you, Kendra!”

8. Hef demanded his girlfriends be in by the 9 o'clock curfew each night. When Madison witnessed two of the girlfriends come in past 9 one night, Madison writes, Hef “kicked his feet, mustered up some questionable crocodile tears (was he really crying?I thought), and told them if they wanted to 'stay out late’ they could move out.”

9. There was no confusion as to what sort of fashion and beauty aesthetic Hef expected his girlfriends to adopt. “He made it abundantly clear that he preferred us in very over-the-top, sort of trashy outfits (think BeDazzled rhinestone bustiers and skirts so short there was barely a point in wearing them),” Madison writes. Compliments bestowed upon one girlfriend’s appearance were noted and that very look would be adopted by the rest of the girlfriends on the next night out. For attiring themselves, Hef provided each girlfriend with $1,000 weekly “clothing allowance” and unlimited beauty services courtesy of his account at the José Eber salon in Beverly Hills. Plastic surgery also came courtesy of Hef, Madison says, the most commonly requested procedures including boob jobs, nose jobs, and liposuction. (Madison writes about working up the courage to ask Hef for a nose job.)

10. The culture of isolation Hef created at the mansion even extended to his infamous parties where, Madison writes, “the protocol was that we stay at Hef’s table all night.” Dancing was permitted so long as it was right in front of Hef’s table. Girlfriends were allowed to leave only to go to the bathroom. When Hef left the party, usually at 1 a.m., the girlfriends “had to go upstairs with him.” But some of the girlfriends snuck back down to the parties to meet men and celebrities. Only, they’d have to avoid the mansion’s in-house video crew, who would place a highlight reel from the party at Hef’s door the next morning.

11. Hef would mansplain movies. “During movie nights” — which were scheduled to occur three nights out of the week at the mansion — “he would lean over to me to explain the plotlines and time periods in the most condescending of ways,” Madison writes. Describing all her dialogue with Hef as “superficial,” she said he refused to discuss books, politics, or current events with her.

12. Madison, Bridget Marquardt, and Wilkinson didn’t get paid for the first order of Girls Next Door, Madison claims in her book. She adds that Hef argued that the money the three got for posing for Playboy, which was filmed for the series, constituted their payment for the show as well. Whereas Madison reports amateur models got $25,000 for a pictorial, reality stars $40,000 to $50,000, and former girlfriends of Hef’s, the Bentley twins, got $100,000, the three Girls Next Door ladies only got $25,000 for their shoot.

13. He once told Wilkinson she looked like she was “putting on some weight,” and warned her to watch her diet.

14. He keeps a picture of every girl who’s ever been to the mansion. A mansion staffer would take photographs of women visiting for the first time, Madison says. The photos (mostly Polaroids) were saved for Hef to review the next day. “He would label them A, B, or C (based primarily on their looks but also on how scantily clad they were) before having them catalogued in his social secretary’s office,” Madison explains. Madison would eventually discover she received an “A.”

multi-shipping-af  asked:

Hi! So CoHF it's mentioned that faeries don't allow other faeries to address them by their real name and I was wondering how that works? Like what's the point of someone having a name that nobody uses? And is there a reason behind that? Also in the interview you recently posted, you said that faeries aren't immortal. So is time going differently in Faerie the reason behind them being centuries old eventhough they're not immortal or is it some magic they have to perform or smth?

“The name is the thing, and the true name is the true thing. To speak the name is to control the thing."— Ursula K. Le Guin, The Rule of Names

The idea that faeries do not allow others to call them by their “true names” is part of faerie folklore (which is why you will also find it in, say, Holly Black’s faerie books.) From the Wikipedia entry on True Names:

According to practises in folklore, knowledge of a true name allows one to affect another person or being magically. It is stated that knowing someone’s, or something’s, true name therefore gives the person (who knows the true name) power over them. This effect is used in many tales, such as in the German fairytale of Rumpelstiltskin: within Rumpelstiltskin and all its variants, the girl can free herself from the power of a supernatural helper who demands her child by learning its name. In the Scandinavian variants of the ballad Earl Brand, the hero can defeat all his enemies until the heroine, running away with him, pleads with him by name to spare her youngest brother. In Scandinavian beliefs, more magical beasts, such as the Nix, could be defeated by calling their name.” 

The point of the name that isn’t used is the power vested in it. You can use it, just as it can be used against you. You can demand entrance using your real name, or a hearing in front of the King/Queen, or rightful ownership of a thing. Kieran isn’t Kieran’s true name; “The Seelie Queen” is obviously not her real name either. Kieran is however still his name, it’s what Mark calls him and what everyone calls him. Kieran Hunter when he’s in the Hunt, Kieran Kingson when he’s in the Unseelie Court. 

Faeries are not immortal, but they are very long-lived and age slowly.

Ok so Lockwood and co might be getting a TV series and well it better not turn out like Percy Jackson

My requirements:
-George has to be chubby
-if George ended up being some hot guy guy who’s a snob I’m not gonna be ok
-lucy can’t be a perfect model
-but she still needs some elegance and beauty, but like I said NOT A MODEL
-Lockwood has to be tall
-and hot
-very charming
-and jawline please
-the skull better have good animation
-as well as any of the other ghosts
-but like not toooo scary, cause like then I’d be to scared to watch the show..
-I’d also like the skull to have Ryan Reynolds with a British accent
-and the skull better the sassy and sarcastic ghost he is
-you gotta start the series with the annoying snobby kipps that we all used to hate
-but then later on show his soft side (like ok the books)
-Holly better be pretty (cause like she is)
-we need like to have parts where you can here Lucy Narrating (like the intro to each episode maybe??)
-then we also need the perspective of Lockwood and George when lucy first talks with skully
-when lucy is experiencing a psychic thingy we need those creepy flash back things
-but then again, not to scary
-actress of Kat needs to have a Pointy chin ok
-and flo
-flo gotta have white teeth
-and she gotta have her blue puffer jacket
-and Barnes has to be like Barnes

Ok guys add on if u like:

A–Z Book Recs

@macrolit’s A–Z book recommendations seemed like a challenge and like a lot of fun, so here we go! I thought it would be hard to find each letter, but honestly it turned out to be more difficult to narrow it down for some of them. Where it was contentious, I chose the lesser-known, under-appreciated of the books up for each letter.

Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman – for people who loved American Gods, read this semi-sequel about the sons of Mr. Nancy. 

The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro – a story about memory and love set in a foggy, post-Arthur England. 

The Complete Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino – a collection of trippy, speculative fiction short stories. 

Dictionary of the Khazars by Milorad Pavić – for lovers of twisty, magical realist, tales who love Borges and are willing to put in some work.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire – a quick novella with excellent world building.

Ficciones by Jorge Luis Borges – my favorite short story collection of all time—the inventor’s spec fic and magical realist tales.

The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker – fans of The Night Circus and American Gods will enjoy this fantastical romance set in New York City.

Hyperbole and a Half: Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem, and Other Things That Happened by Allie Brosh – hilarious and so relatable, especially for anyone who’s been through depression.

Ink and Bone by Rachel Caine – a magnificent, fun alternative world about the power of books and the danger of centralizing knowledge.

Just Kids by Patti Smith – a dark tale of artists falling in love in the artistic backchannels of the Village.

The Last Report of the Miracles at Little No Horse by Louise Erdrich – a magical realist tale by an own voices author.

Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer – rough, but vital—Krakauer picks apart rape culture by telling the stories of women who tried to get justice.

Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman – probably my favorite book of all time. an urban fantasy set in the underground of London.

Orlando by Virginia Woolf – in the 1920s, Woolf wrote a magical realist tale about with a gender-fluid MC. iconic. 

Paradise by Toni Morrison – one of morrison’s most underrated novels. a masterpiece about women sticking together.

Deltora Quest by Emily Rodda I struggled to find a Q ahaha, but I loved these books when I was younger!

The Refrigerator Monologues by Catherynne Valente – interconnected short stories about the women whose stories are refrigerated to further those of men in a comic books setting.

The Shell Collector by Anthony Doerr – short stories that changed the way i think about writing. they’re beautiful, magical realist, and haunting.

Things We Lost in the Fire: Stories by Mariana Enríquez – I didn’t sleep for days after reading these translated gothic horror tales.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik – a magical standalone about female friendship and an ancient power.

Van Gogh: The Life by Steven Naifeh and Gregory White Smith – a magnificent biography that speaks to the genius and madness of the artist.

Who Fears Death by Nnedi Okorafor – brilliant, and was just optioned to become an HBO show!

Yes Please by Amy Poehler – this was a fun and funny memoir by Poehler that encourages the reader to be unabashedly themselves.

Zombies vs. Unicorns ed. by Holly Black – this book was fun. the title says it all: it’s full of stories about either zombies or unicorns. 

storiesaremylife  asked:

Hi! How do you pronounced both Call and Callum? I've been wondering since the first book!

Holly and I always say Call as in “rhymes with Sal.” I know it doesn’t match up with Callum, but “Call rhymes with fall” never worked or seemed natural.

anonymous asked:

Nice comment on Taylor/her piece for the book on country women in this Billboard articles - last paragraph: billboard(.)com/articles/columns/country/7958061/holly-gleason-new-book-woman-walk-the-line-interview

The book also features some of music’s greatest artists speaking of other women who made an impact in their lives and career. Rosanne Cash contributed the moving yet humorous eulogy that she gave at June Carter Cash’s funeral in May 2003, while Taylor Swift – while still a teenager in 2006 – speaks of her respect for Brenda Lee, someone that Gleason says is of like mind and experience.

“Taylor Swift’s essay surprised me. It was something that she had written for the Hall of Fame. I had something else in mind, but they said ‘We think this is the piece. Will you take a look at it?’ It’s a little shorter than the other essays, but the fact that you have Taylor Swift at the moment where she’s about to become a superstar. Nobody could have written that piece in that moment except for her. She wasn’t Miley [Cyrus], whose dad was a superstar. She was a little girl from Pennsylvania who wanted to sing and write songs. She came down here, and they knocked on doors, and she fought her way there. It’s all about to happen, and she’s thinking about Brenda Lee. I get chills thinking about it. It was so much better than what I wanted.”