Hoes-be-like

Hoe when you're not a hoe

So, there’s a lot y'all don’t know about me. Some things you’re just never gonna no. But let me let you in on this: I am shy as hell, awkward, and this is a post on how to hoe when you’re not a hoe.

Maybe you wanna experiment? Maybe you wanna be a hoe? Maybe you’re ready to hoe but too shy? Maybe you wanna look like a bad bitch? Or maybe you’re a hoe but you’re not but you are but you’re not- either way. I gotchu.

Confidence is key

Of course, the first one I add is on confidence you think. No, but seriously, confidence.

  •  If you don’t have conidence, fake it till you make it. If you pretend like you’re a bad bitch, you will eventually be a bad bitch.
  • Change your walk. yes, your walk. There’s a walk that will not only make you look like a bad bitch, but will make you feel like a bad bitch. Shoulders back, head high (? straight basically) and let your boobs lead the way. You want your arms swinging by your side casually and your hips doing it too, make it look casual. So don’t overdo it.
  • Tell yourself how much you love you every day.
  • Wear clothes that make you feel sexy. For me it’s a variety of things, but put me in skinny jeans, a tank top, adidas and let me put on some highlighter && I’ll be ready for anything.
  • Work  on yourself. Improve constantly. Instead of just being upset about your flaws, write them down and figure outhow to solve them. 

Ways to hoe

This all depends and such, but here you go. You may wanna be a sneaky hoe, a cute hoe, a obvious hoe. It doesn’t matter, these should help in some way.  So you can get that ish.

  • Learn the art of seduction. Seducing is a skill. If you want to seduce someone you should learn it. You can find tons of things online, everywhere. There’s sites with ways to seduce, give blow jobs, eat girls out…etc. Learn. Practice your expressions with random people (not forcing them into anything sexually, yall, just lots of eye contact…etc)  but do it in a way that you seem innocent. Gauge their reactions.
  • Sexting. Alright, this is for those that want to feel good sexually. This is for the one’s that are too shy to do anything up close and personal, but want to hoe. Or anyone, tbh. Sexting is a very common thing. If you want to sext, do your research. Don’t show your face…etc. You can always fake your confidence with sexting.
  • Hoeing that isn’t exactly hoeing. Maybe you like the aesthetic but don’t want dick. Maybe you want to wear racy things and flirt, but not fuck. I gotchu. Your goal is to wear something sexy. I mean sexy. Buy lingerie and wear it every chance you get. Mini skirts are your best friend. Flrit with body language, not just words.
  • Be your best. Be confident. If you want to wear makeup, do it. Girl ya highlighter is poppin.
  • Clubs & parties. Do I need to explain this one? Fuck who you want, boo!
  • The other options, are different. I won’t “recommend” them but I also won’t tell you not to do them. I’m not recommending them because of the struggle…etc. I’ve seen off of just this site alone. You could be an escort, a sugar baby, a stripper, a cam girl…etc But if you even consider this shit. Do your fucking research. Be of a legal age. Know what you’re doing before you go into it. And if you do go into it, have fun, baby.

DON’T. TAKE. SHIT.

I mean that. Don’t let ANYONE put you down for what you wear, do, or want to do. You do you. You wear what you want, do what you want, and take what you want. If they try to pull some bullshit, show them that you are a queen.

To look like a bad bitch:

Wear what makes you confident. But here’s some things I’ve just noticed as I see a lot of them or something.  In general:

  • Get your eyebrows done
  • Make sure your eyeliner & shadow is matching 
  • Highliiigghhhttt, highlight, highlight more highlight yes
  • Matte lips are common
  • So are glossy lips though
  • SPARKLE, GLITTER, YES
  • Chic/baddie/badass clothes
  • Coconut oil ur hair
  • Look at all the clear skin posts yall
  • Shave your legs
  • Smell good
  • Thigh high boot/heels are p common
  • Bbodycon happens a bit
  • But tbh wear what you wanna weat && love yourself

Please remember to be safe doing any of the things. Watch out for allergies when you read hoe tip posts, don’t follow everything you see, carry a self defense weapon, learn some self defense. Get it, boo.

Im tired of all the negative ass hoes trying to act like EXO releasing Power is somehow beneath them or that they expected some sort of emotional masterpiece. It’s a FUN song, the MV is basically a PARODY of their OWN fucking concept, and the song just makes you smile and giggle along, like thats literally IT. And THANK GOODNESS for that, I was getting bored of the same old tumblr aesthetic music video and same old fake deep songs…THIS is why I got into kpop, THIS is what I was looking for….pure, unabashed…FUN

THE SIGNS AS THINGS I'VE SAID BEFORE
  • Aries: People hold hands? Psh I can't relate, I throw hands like a real man.
  • Taurus: [puts on fake glasses] It's time to read some hoes.
  • Gemini: Me actually liking someone? Sounds fake, I just like the validation that I'm not complete trash.
  • Cancer: I'm internally screaming right now because the one day I decide to wear makeup I keep crying. My eyelashes are clumping together and I cannot. I refuse.
  • Leo: Do you ever see the sun and you're like ... Man, I'd love to punch it because same. I want to punch the sun so hard. My only chance to be fist-kissed by a hottie.
  • Virgo: I feel bad that I don't recycle. I just can't be inspired to do it because I still feel terrible about life after doing so. [throws water bottle in recycling bin] Oh look, I still have depression!
  • Libra: I want to have a flowery aesthetic... I need a group of friends that are always willing to take pictures of frolicking through flower fields.
  • Scorpio: I love the fact that no one really knows anything about me, but it also makes me kind of sad at the same time. What is my legacy besides being the mysterious and hot one?
  • Sagittarius: The only person in this world who will never break my heart is education connection lady. She's still in 2009 singing about her education experience and I refuse to believe anything different.
  • Capricorn: I've spent 10 hours of my life listening to the education connection song. If I don't make it to college, then I may as well just die.
  • Aquarius: Other people around me are always like "I LOVE YOU! OMG, I LOVE YOU!" Meanwhile I'm just eating my imaginary popcorn thinking about how much I hate everyone.
  • Pisces: I'm eating five hour old chicken nuggets and I'm sad. I don't think I'll finish them... I have to throw them away... This is probably the worst thing I've ever done in my life.
4

touken/kanetou + hands

By the time my shift is over at work I’m like a greasy mess with no blush or highlighter left to be seen
But this combo…. This drugstore combo right here? Kept my shit beat all day. Like I can’t believe I still see blush on my fucking face right now at 5pm with no touch up. Wild.
Also putting powder on your t zone before foundation is the gift of the gods 💕💞💖

I should probably also mention this stuff is dick appointment proof \(*´ ꒳`*)/ so you can do your makeup like a hoe and stay lookin like a hoe