Hockey Babies

Okay but Bitty making an appearance on of those Real Housewives of…./ “Sport” Wives type shows. He’s not a regular by any means (heavens no) but he’s shown up once or twice because one of the cast member’s husband used to play for the Falcs and got traded but she and Bitty are still pretty good friends. He and Jack are publicly together at this point. People either know him through his baking/cooking or through Jack. Anyway, Bitty is successful on his own merit and he’s going to be in the area on business anyway so he ends up there when they’re filming. The episode airs and it shows the cast members are all having dinner together at some fancy restaurant even though at least two of them are feuding with one another (and the producers are practically foaming at the mouth for this level of drama). Cue some full blown screaming and fighting. Insults are being thrown, people are ready to launch across tables after each other. Others are trying to calm the situation or just watching on in horror. And what’s Bitty doing? Causally sipping wine and looking at the dessert menu. At one point he calls over the server to box the rest of his food and slice of cheesecake to go. Of course they edited out the parts of him asking his friend if everything was going to be okay and looking worried before realizing that he’s watched enough of these shows with Holster and Nursey to know that a lot of these situations are prodded and manufactured by the producers. Also he’s seen some fighting in his days. And he’s not talking about hockey. So yeah, super unimpressed Bitty sipping wine and reading the menu while people are throwing drinks at each other becomes a popular reaction gif.

Bitty and Jack at one point...

Bitty: *sighing* May 18th is such an important day.
Jack: *smiling* Is it because it’s the day we finally got together.
Bitty: Beyoncé and Nicki dropped the video for Feeling Myself. Heavens, it was a complete surprise. Almost missed my flight trying to watch it.
Jack: *frowning slightly* Oh…
Bitty: Also this silly French-Canadian boy ran all the way across campus after his graduation to kiss little old me.

*cue lots of gross heart-eyes and fond*


how many Stanley Cups have we won? 

What if later on when Bitty’s big and successful and he has cookbooks and talk show appearances and maybe a Food Network show most of the non-hockey recognizes Bitty more easily than Jack. But when people find out that Eric’s attractive partner is Jack Zimmermann they freak out because oh my gosh that’s Alicia Zimmermann’s son?? Alicia Zimmermann complete “It Girl” of the late 80s and 90s. Alicia Zimmermann know as much for her charming quick wit and kindness as she was for her gorgeous cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. Alicia Zimmermann who sits on the board of countless foundations and has a scholarship program for young women because hell yes she got a degree in anthropology and a minor in history. She married some hockey player or something. Alicia Zimmermann who even in her early 50s could still work a runaway you’d better believe it. Alicia Zimmermann who still inspires so many people. So yeah, Eric Bittle is dating Alicia Zimmermann’s son.