Hobbes

how the philosophers are in bed

socrates is loud

sartre is a third wheel

rousseau has a mommy kink

thales is just constantly wet

foucault likes bondage obv

marx rises like the proletariat

aristotle wants you to be what he repeatedly do

hobbes’s one true daddy is the leviathan

william james is softer than his determinism

kierkegaard is into humiliation

nietzsche wants a gay scientist to be his ecce homo

wollstonecraft is a slut for equal rights

augustine is just a slut