Inktober “fears & feelings” day 21 ✍️
Artistic Identity Crisis of sorts. Growing up, the predominant drawing style at my school was anime-driven. Even though I myself wasn’t super into anime (most people read manga, I read @archiecomics go figure haha), I felt somewhat pressured to conform to that “pretty” aesthetic. It didn’t feel natural to me, &even now I can feel/see those influences in the way I draw, but I fought very hard to get away from that style.
At the end of freshman year of high school, I became associate art editor for my school paper. It was a big deal because the school paper (which publishes monthly, as well as an annual lit mag) was basically one of the only sources of art/exposure to art that we had while at school. It sounds like light years ago, but back then the internet wasn’t what it is now–it was hella slow &we didn’t always have access. So for young artists at my school, we relied heavily on books &our school publications for art inspiration &whatnot.
My co-editor at the time was also an anime-style artist. When she graduated & I became editor, I made sure to try to put focus on more art styles other than manga/anime. I did a super dark lit mag cover (which was in stark contrast to all previous covers, & was surprisingly approved by the school haha), &even though I felt like my skills were still buggy, I was happy that younger students could at least see the school paper &lit mag &know that the anime/manga style wasn’t the only art style out there.
My style developed more, &got darker, in college, &even though I’ve been able to more or less shed the manga elements in how I draw, I feel like I still have a ways to go in terms of really fine-tuning my personal art style. In trying to escape the manga box, I dabbled in so many styles & mediums that I think it actually made it harder for me to find work as an illustrator bec I wasn’t able to present a clear point of view/ aesthetic style.
Then when I started working in corporate after college, drawing kind of fell to the wayside, & it was only this year that I really started back up again, w the dolls! Identity crisis still tho 😂