High School AU

Klance High School!AU wherein Lance tries to pick Keith up (scientifically speaking)

How was all this supposed to work again?

Lance fiddled with the Bunsen burner, hoping he wouldn’t blow anything up in the process.

“You’re supposed to turn the gas on first, genius,” came a cranky voice to his left. His eyes flicked off to the side and he finally noticed his lab partner slinking into class late, hunched over and looking like he was trying to disappear behind the lab bench.

“You’re supposed to show up for class on time, genius,” Lance bit back. Well, they were off to a great start.

The mysterious lab partner had no retort to that, opting to scoff just loudly enough for only Lance to hear.

“Hey, fuck you, buddy–” Lance’s eyes finally landed on the guy sitting next to him, and holy fucking shit, he was pretty. Sure, he was scowling and he was giving off “stay the hell away from me” vibes like he had to supply enough for the entire universe, but his skin was like porcelain and his eyes were the most beautiful violet Lance had ever seen.

Lance hadn’t even realised he trailed off until a dark eyebrow arched upward in confusion. “Yeah?” the guy challenged.

Lance cleared his throat and got the Bunsen burner lit. “Well, would ya look at that? You lit my fire.” He waggled his eyebrows at his lab partner, whose expression grew increasingly puzzled.


“So, you come here often?” Lance tried to assume some kind of casual posture and only succeeded in almost igniting his elbow. He cleared his throat again and leaned a little closer to his lab partner, who was already attempting to ignore him and focus on following their lab instructions. He started mixing the solutions that needed to be heated.

“Uh, this is our first class, so…”

“Right. So uh, you must be a hypotonic solution.”

The dark-haired boy stared at him blankly, beakers poised motionless in his hands.

“‘Cause, y’know, you’ve just increased my turgor pressure,” he finished with a wink.

“Uh, I think we should focus on the lab here. We’re supposed to identify the anions based on–”

“Boy, don’t you worry, I’ll be keeping anion your fine behind!”

By now, there were some mildly interested twitters from their classmates, who clearly had nothing better to do than eavesdrop on the conversation. Lance could feel the way Hunk and Pidge failed at containing their snickers from halfway across the lab. Traitors. If only Garrett and Gunderson could’ve been closer to McClain in the alphabet, then maybe Lance could’ve had one of them for a lab partner and not this cute but prickly kid with bad hair and a nice face.

Who was totally not going for any of Lance’s advances…

“Uh, I… thought we were just gonna mix these solutions, get the reactions going, aim for an A and leave?”

Lance waved a flippant hand in the guy’s direction.

“Sure, babe, but I think you’ve already got some reactions going in my–”

“LANCE!” Shiro warned with a harsh note of exasperation from the bench behind them. Oh, right, Shiro was their upper year student tutor for the class, and he was sitting right there supervising them all while their chemistry teacher popped out of the room to replace… stuff.

“Relax, Shiro, I’m just making friends! See, this guy–”


“See, Keith and I–wait, your name is Keith? What kind of name is that?”

His lab partner crossed his arms defensively and frowned, curling into himself and looking like he regretted supplying his name in the first place. “I don’t know, it’s not like I picked it.”

“Fair enough. Anyway, Keith and I are just science bros. You know, we get some chemistry going on, then I invite him over later to do some hardcore physics with our biology–”

Shiro opened his mouth, probably to reprimand Lance again, but they both froze at the sound filling the room. It was laughter, kind of rough and perhaps unused, but melodic and lovely all the same.

Keith was laughing.

Lance did that. He couldn’t help puffing up a little at the thought.

“Oh my God, you… I can’t believe…” Keith gasped out between guffaws. Lance winked at him.

“It’s okay to be breathless, I have that effect on people.”

Keith swatted at his arm but stopped himself short of actually making contact. “You’re such a moron!” he cried, but he was still laughing and his eyes were watering a little, drops of moisture catching the light on his long, dark eyelashes. Lance’s heart rate picked up more than he’d like to admit.

“Now can I be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves?”

Keith rolled his eyes but he was still smiling as he poured another carefully-measured reagent into their test tube over the Bunsen burner.

“Maybe you should consider being co-linear so you can just touch me all over?”

If Lance had anything in his mouth, he would have had an incredibly unfortunate spit-take. As it was, Shiro looked positively scandalized and it made a wicked sense of glee rise up in Lance’s chest.

“So after school today, I think we have a lot of bonding to do, don’t you?”

Keith looked away coyly but Lance could see the colour staining his cheeks. His already inflated ego was blooming at the sight.

Pidge and Hunk could be heard groaning from their lab bench. Pidge was staring at their precipitate as if contemplating drinking the nasty chemical sludge to spare her Lance’s antics. Hunk was rubbing patient, soothing circles on her back.

Shiro finally barked out, “McClain, Kogane! Detention this afternoon. DO NOT show up together, and keep your damn hands to yourselves!”

I freaking loved high school science. Math I was not as fond of, but I still enjoyed some classic calculus humour. I imagine that Keith would probably not be super warm on initial meetings but he’d crack under Lance’s antics (I mean, who wouldn’t? He’d be the cutest class clown) sooner or later. Maybe it doesn’t seem 100% in character, but that’s the beauty of an AU–we get to explore characterization in settings that allow the same character to follow a different path and perhaps the influences from their environment can really shape their final character development and relationships with other people.

Lance is the cutest nerd. He may not get the highest marks, but what matters is how much he engages with stuff and how much fun he has with it. <3

Happy Lance Month!

Lucky Thirteen

“Dean! Sam! Come ooooooon!”

“What is she going on about now?” grumbles Dean, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He looks at the clock, then groans. “Dammit Charlie, it’s not even noon! On a Sunday!” He pulls the sheet back over his head.

Footsteps pounding on the stairs and then a fist banging on the door let him know that his little sister isn’t giving up easily. “Come on, Dean!”  Her footsteps fade a bit as she stomps down the hallway to Sam’s room, then bangs on his door and yells again, “You too, Sam! Get downstairs! Federer won! It’s almost time!”

Dean is wondering what language his little sister is speaking when his door opens and her freckled face peeks through the opening. Before she can speak he growls, “Twelve year olds should be banished from existence, Charlie.”

She giggles. “You can’t get me down, big brother. It’s almost time! Come on!” Before he can ask what on earth she’s talking about she bounces from the room and down the stairs.

He’s about to settle back into his bed when his phone chirps. A text from Cas.

Did Charlie wake you up yet?

He quickly responds.

How did you know?


Wimbledon finished earlier than expected. The announcement of the thirteenth Doctor is imminent.

Dean can’t help but laugh. That’s what I get for having a nerd kid sister. He grins. And a nerd boyfriend. He sends:

Come over? You can help keep Charlie calm while she waits. Or I can keep both of you calm. ;)


Give me ten minutes.–

Thirteen minutes later the doorbell rings. Dean pushes himself away from the table and his just finished bowl of cereal. Sam look at him quizzically. “Cas,” Dean says. “He’s as crazy as Charlie. They can nerd out together.”

Sam nods dismissively. “I’ve never been able to figure out why the two of you are such good friends.” Sam says. “You’re such a jock. He’s such a…well, a nerd, like you said. He’s really much more like Charlie than like you.”

Dean is thankful he’s on his way out of the room so Sam can’t see his blush. He still hasn’t told Sam that he and Cas have been more than friends for about six months now. Sam is usually too observant for comfort, but he’s been wrapped up in his own stuff–AP classes, playing the lead in Macbeth, and now a summer class at the local junior college–and Dean doesn’t know if he’s grateful or tired of keeping secrets.

His confusion about Sam disappears when he sees the blue eyed boy smiling at him on his front porch. “Dean,” Cas says. Dean smiles and chances a kiss. Cas pulls away after only a moment, and Dean is puzzled, then laughs as realization hits. “You’re anxious to find out about the new Doctor, aren’t you.” It’s not a question.

Cas smiles. “Busted. But you can kiss me later, I promise.”

Dean grins. “I’ll hold you to that…”

In the family room Sam sits at the coffee table surrounded by textbooks. “Sam. Live a little. It’s Sunday,” says Dean.

Sam grunts. “Research. Ten page paper. Due Friday.”

“Ouch,” says Cas. “Didn’t you think of taking a break over the summer?”

“I’m trying to graduate early,” Sam says absently, completely focused on his book.

“Yeah, that’ll be great,” grumbles Dean. “Little brother graduating the same time as me…”

“Um, helloooooo,” interjects Charlie, hands on her hips. “I think we’re missing the big picture here. Biggest announcement of the year? New Doctor? Lucky thirteen?”

Dean reaches out to ruffle her already wild red hair, but she ducks away from his hand. “What are we all doing here anyway? Are we going to gather around your laptop and watch you click on ‘refresh’? It’s not like we can tune in to BBC One.”

Charlie makes a very unladylike noise. “Please. Piece of cake. Or,” she grins, looking at Dean, “maybe a piece of pie.” She attaches a few cables from her laptop to the tv, tap-tap-taps at the keyboard for about ten seconds, then shouts, “Yahtzee!” Sure enough, English accents are suddenly coming through the tv speakers, and Roger Federer’s smiling face fills the screen.

Dean looks at Charlie, eyes wide. “You are the scariest twelve year old I’ve ever seen.”

“And don’t you forget it,” she quips.

Cas, Dean, and Charlie settle onto the couch, but Charlie only sits for a few seconds before she jumps up and starts to pace. She nibbles on a thumbnail, tugs at her hair, and bounces on the balls of her feet, all while striding back and forth across the room. She looks at Cas, sitting calmly, and screeches, “How can you just sit there?!”

Cas grins and his eyes glint with mischief. “I was just like you when they announced Capaldi four years ago. When fourteen comes along someone will be asking you how you can be so calm.”

“I doubt that,” she grumbles. “And why does Capaldi have to go anyway? I love his gruff Scottish accent and his ‘attack eyebrows’!”

“He doesn’t do hugs, he says. Except when he does,” adds Sam.

“Am I the only one who doesn’t speak geek?” Dean asks.

Doctor Who is all about change,” Cas says, pointedly ignoring Dean and answering Charlie instead. “The companions change, the Doctor regenerates, even the TARDIS gets redecorated. But the Doctor’s heart and hope endure. He is always a madman in a box, and he always saves the day.”

Charlie freezes, mouth agape, then flings herself at Cas, wiping away tears. “Thank you, Castiel,” she blubbers into his shoulder. Dean meets Cas’s eyes over the top of Charlie’s head. “Thank you,” he mouths. Cas smiles.

Sam clears his throat. “I hate to break up this little, uh, whatever this is, but I think something is happening,” he says.

Charlie immediately focuses all her attention on the scene unfolding on the tv, lush and green. A hooded figure walking through the woods. A hand. A key. The sound of the TARDIS. The hood is pushed back…

Charlie screams.

“A girl! A girl! The Doctor is A GIRL!!!!” She leaps and dances through the room, high-fives Cas then pumps her fist in the air then climbs onto the coffee table–unmindful of Sam’s schoolwork–just to turn and dive at Dean, tackling him in a tangle of arms and legs and red hair. He yelps and she giggles and jumps up to run and dance some more. “The Doctor is a GIRL!” she shouts again. She runs back to Dean, kisses him on the cheek, and says, “Finally!

“So you’re happy, then?” asks Dean with a straight face.

Charlie fake punches him in the shoulder. “Duh. Twelve dudes. Well, thirteen, really, with the War Doctor. Over fifty years. It’s about time!”

“I think this is going to be great,” says Cas with a smile.

“Ugh, I can’t believe we have to wait until Christmas to actually see her in action! That’s over six months!” moans Charlie.

Dean stands up. “That’s our cue, Cas. Let’s get out of here before she ropes us into making a countdown calendar.”

As they climb the stairs they hear Charlie yell, “You know you can’t get out of watching it with me, big brother!”

Dean laughs. He knows. Charlie always gets what she wants.

“It’s nice to be alone,” Cas says softly, twining his fingers with Dean’s.

Dean kisses him softly. “Yeah,” he says.

They sit on the floor against Dean’s bed, stretching their legs into the long rectangle of sunlight splashed across the floor.

“Are you ever going to tell Sam about us?”

Dean groans. He wants to talk about this now?

“It’s not–I’m not ashamed or anything, you know that. I mean, Charlie knows. Mom and Dad know. Sam’s just…he gives me a hard time about everything. And now he’s taking all these extra classes, so we’re both going to be seniors in the fall…” Dean trails off, not really sure where he was going with the thought anyway. He just knows that he wants Sammy to be okay with this.

Cas squeezes Dean’s hand. “I know. I mean, I understand. It’ll work itself out eventually. I just don’t like sneaking around when I’m here, you know?”

Dean nods.

“Oh, Michael says hi, by the way. He called last night. He asked if you’re starting on the team this fall; he’s going to be in town for a few weeks and wants to come see you play.”

Dean grins. He plays forward on their school’s soccer team. “Hell yeah I’m starting. I’ve been practically killing myself all summer to get ready for the season.

Cas runs a hand up Dean’s arm. “Mmm. I can see that,” he practically purrs.

Dean groans and pulls Cas onto his lap. He falls into those blue eyes as their lips crush together, both of them hungry for the other.

Cas’s fingers are twisted in Dean’s hair when the door opens and they hear, “Can you two do something with Charlie? She’s bouncing around like a pinball, and I re–” Sam comes to sudden stop, mouth hanging open, when he sees the two boys attached at the lips.

“Oh,” says Sam, after an awkward pause. “Well. That explains a lot. You two make a lot more sense as boyfriends. This been going on long?”

Dean is too relieved by Sam’s easy acceptance to answer. Cas says, “A little over six months. We’re sorry we kept it from you. You had so much going on, with school and the play and all, we didn’t want to cause you any distress.”

Sam snorts. “You really think this,” he gestures at them, “is distressing? You should see Charlie right now. I’m concerned for my safety for the next six months. And for my school work. Seriously. Do you think maybe you two could take her out for ice cream or something? Or, I don’t know, take her to the park and make her run outside? I’m never going to get my paper written at this rate.”

“She’s not a puppy, Sammy,” says Dean, laughing.

“Don’t call me Sammy,” says Sam automatically.

“I’m always going to call you Sammy,” says Dean.

“I know,” sighs Sam.

Dean pulls Sam into a tight hug. “Thanks, Sammy…”

When they’re done, Cas puts his arm around Dean. “We’ll be down in a minute, Sam. Tell Charlie we’ll take her to the mall to see if we can find her a sonic screwdriver.”

Sam grins as he turns to walk down the stairs. “Are you trying to become her favorite brother?” he calls over his shoulder, laughing.

When Sam is gone Cas turns to Dean. “Feel better?”

Dean nods. “I guess we should thank Charlie. And maybe the Doctor too.” He smiles, then adds, “I guess thirteen really is lucky after all.”

Cas presses a kiss to Dean’s lips. He can’t argue with that.

This is kind of a gift for @starsinursa, who posted this a few days ago. It sort of got mixed up with a high school au I had in my head, I hope you don’t mind!

OTP- Part 4- Secret

Fic Masterlist

Warnings: Homophobia, joking about depression and suicide

Word Count: 955

“What do we do now?” 

After a full weekend, Dan finally asked the question they’d both been thinking. Since their kiss Friday night, they had both assumed they would be a couple, but neither had a clue how to handle this fact. “I don’t know.” 

“Are we going to tell them?” 

Phil chuckled. “I’d think they already know.” 

‘Them’ was the collective student body in their school. In the last few days, Dan and Phil had learned that information spread quite fast in the school. “They don’t know we’re together. We could lie.”

Phil’s face scrunched up into a disgusted frown. Dan knew he didn’t like lying. “I guess that’s an option.” 

“Even you have to accept that it’s the best choice here. If we tell them we’re not together, maybe the badgering will calm down. If they find out we are, it’ll only get worse.” 

Phil sighed. Dan was right, and he knew it. “Okay.” 

“How’s it goin’ there, faggots?” Dan’s head doesn’t even turn as the boy spews words of hate. 

“We’re not dating.” Dan handles the lie for Phil, who’s doing his best to keep a straight face. 

“Oh, so you got rejected?” The two picked up the pace, walking away from the bully. He ran down the hall to catch up and walk beside Dan. “Got rejected, Howell?” Phil tried not to look him in the eye, but the boy got in his face and forced him to make eye contact. “Pity. What a lonely little gaylord.” Dan’s fist balled up at his side, but he calmed himself down, not wanting to give them away. 

“Actually, I didn’t reject him.” Dan’s stomach tensed up, his eyes widening as the boy turned his gaze to Phil. Was he going to tell the bully their secret? “We mutually agreed that dating wasn’t the best idea.” Phil told the boy coolly. Dan was extremely surprised with how easily Phil lied. 

“My ass,” the boy muttered. Dan simply rolled his eyes and pulled Phil away. 

“I didn’t like that.” 

“Well, you’re going to have to get used to it. This is our lives now.” They each sighed. It would be a long four years. 

The bullying went down once word got out that they weren’t together. Dan got much more flak for being “rejected” by Phil, but he got over it because it meant that Phil would be happier. However, he’d still noticed a change in Phil since they’d started dating. Hiding things was always difficult for him, and Dan really didn’t know what to do to help him. All he knew was that things were better now and they couldn’t let the secret get out. 

“I kinda feel bad, you know?” Phil said as they walked down the hallway. “Keeping this from all our friends.” 

“Phil, we don’t have any friends. We’re just keeping it from all the kids we hate.” 

“I still don’t like it.” 

“But would you rather tell everyone?” 

Phil paused before answering. “I don’t know.” 

“Phil, things are much better for you now. We can’t tell anyone.” 

“But they’re worse for you.” 

“I can handle it.” Phil looked around to see a completely empty hallway, and took Dan’s hand, holding it up and looking at the scars on his wrist. “Those are old, Phil.” 

“I know, but sometimes I worry about you.” 

“Trust me, there’s no need.” Dan put a smile on his face. “I’m fine now.” Dan wasn’t sure if he’d ever be truly fine, in all honesty. Thinking back on the darker days of his life still made him shudder. But Phil was making him as close to fine as he could ever get. 

“Look who it is.” Dan tore his hand from Phil’s and they both pivoted around to see the captain of the school’s football team standing a few feet from them. As freshman, Dan was almost surprised that the senior had found out about them. Almost. “Is that a hand hold I see?” 

“No,” Dan said, but before he could explain, Phil mustered up the bravery to do it himself. 

“I was just looking at his hand,” Phil said shakily. The captain grabbed Dan’s hand and examined his wrist. 

“Gaylord’s depressed?” He paused, putting a quizzical expression on his face. “I wouldn’t mind if you killed yourself.” Hurt rushed through Dan’s veins as the brawny footballer was forced up against the wall. Phil was holding the boy to the lockers, seeming to have a sudden rush of adrenaline. 

“That’s my best friend. Never should you say anything like that to him or to anyone else. You got it?” Despite the adrenaline, Phil simply wasn’t as strong as his muscled counterpart. The boy threw him back against the opposite wall, rearing his fist back to attack. Phil cowered against the wall, closing his eyes and preparing for impact as the fist hurdled forward. After feeling nothing, he cautiously opened one eye. The fist paused right in front of his face before retreating. 

“You’re lucky I care enough not to get kicked off the football team.” The captain straightened his varsity jacket and walked off. Dan tackled Phil in a hug, holding him as tightly as he could. The two only separated as the school bell rang and kids flooded down the hallway to head to their first classes. 

“Turns out keeping secrets hurts both emotionally and physically.” 

Both of their faces were grave as they prepared to head separate ways for first period. “It’s okay. It’ll get better.” 


“Promise.” Phil steered off into his classroom, leaving Dan to climb the stairs to his own. The promise he just made lingered in his mind. It wasn’t just a promise to Phil; it was a promise to himself. 

one cannot have enough of cute and random aus so here have some more
  • “You’re the cute and quiet customer that frequents the coffee shop where I’m a barista and also where my rival barista works and we’re both fighting for your attention in increasingly creative and inconspicuous ways (making foam art, writing cheesy pick-up lines on your napkin etc. etc.)” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate who’s super cute and it’s the middle of the night and you’re cramming for your exams in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and it’s becoming increasingly hard for me not to kiss you” AU.
  • “You’re an Art student and I’m an English major and you keep stealing the papers for my assignment to doodle and I would kill you but you’re really cute and hey that’s actually a really nice sketch” AU.
  • “You’re the perpetual frowner in class and one day as I’m answering the teacher I intentionally make a very cheesy pun and I can hear crickets but you’re laughing out loud and that makes me feel very much accomplished” AU.
  • “The manager says the only reason the restaurant where we work at is popular is because people enjoy eating while watching our relentless flirting with each other but I swear to God we’re not flirting???” AU.
  • “I ditch prom to attend a local poetry slam and you’re also there and I never really noticed what a cute smile you have and hey do you maybe want to bond over our mutual love for ‘Howl’???” AU.
  • “You’re new in town and you seem very intimidating but as it turns out you have an awful sense of direction even with a map and you’re actually adorkable so here let me help you” AU.
  • “It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single and you want to cheer me up but you can’t cook nor bake to save your life so you make me hot chocolate instead and it is delicious and I think I love you???” AU.
  • “It’s gym class and we’re playing volleyball and you spike really well and you manage to hit the ball square in my face and I think I’m bleeding and you’re apologizing profusely and it’s okay but you’re really cute so I guess I’ll take you up on that offer for coffee” AU.
  • “You’re the jerk-face customer that keeps on thumbing through their phone while ordering their drink so I exact revenge by spelling your name wrong on your cup and drawing phallic pictures on your coffee” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us to go shopping with them and it’s kind of awkward and now you’re pushing them around the mall in a shopping cart and you’re both screaming like excited children and I’m paying the cashier and pretending I don’t know either of you” AU.
  • “Our mutual friend invites us for Thanksgiving dinner with their other friends and now there’s a full-fledged food fight going on with potatoes and turkey flying everywhere and we’re both seeking refuge under the table whilst sharing a bag of chips that you brought (just in case)” AU.
  • “You and I are both baristas at a coffee shop and one day I step out of the café to take a break and walk in on you gleefully drawing phallic pictures on the chalkboard outside that no one pays attention to so what are you doing?” AU.
  • “You and I go out to a sushi bar and the sushi chef yells at you for being allergic to a particular kind of fish and now you’re crying and I’m trying to comfort you” AU.
  • “You and I are at a sushi restaurant and you’re continuously snagging sushi off the belt that I have to pay for and you don’t seem to be going to stop anytime soon but you look so cute when you’re eating with that smile on your face what the hell man” AU.
  • “The mailman constantly mixes up your home address and mine together and keeps on sending me your letters and packages and I’m sorry I look through them but your life seems very interesting as well as those books on black magic in one of your packages so wanna talk about it over a cup of coffee?” AU.
  • “We’re both strangers sitting in the same booth at an eatery because all the other booths are full and you’re drawing smiley faces on your plate with ketchup and wow your concentrated frown is cute” AU.
  • “It’s our mutual friend’s wedding and they keep shoving us into each other because we’re the only ones at the ceremony who are single” AU.
  • “You’re my roommate and it’s way past midnight and you’re talking about how Charles Dickens inspired prison reform and how the moon must feel insignificant because it borrows light from the sun and this is all very interesting but will you please shut up and go to sleep” AU.
  • “You’re actually a really friendly and chill vampire and at night you float around outside of my bedroom window to talk with me about the universe and stuff” AU.
  • “You’re going through my sketchbook and giving questioning looks and I swear to God I’m just a deranged artist and not a serial killer” AU.
  • “We live next door to each other and I can see you through the window while you’re dancing to your iPod in your flannel pajamas and disheveled hair and God you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I’ve been standing in line at the coffee shop for hours and you casually cut through for your drink but also buy me my favorite blend and now I’m not so sure what to make of you” AU.
  • “I’m sick so you make me chicken soup and I’m really grateful but I’ve also seen you read books on magical spells and potion-making so I’m not sure if I should drink your soup in case it turns me into a toad” AU.
  • “There’s a scrawny black cat in our neighborhood that hates everyone and everything but follows you around for some reason and I see you pet it and feed it fish fries are you a witch” AU
  • “I’m a perpetual frowner and most certainly not a morning person and I work part-time at a breakfast bar and your disheveled hair and content smile as you eat my waffles and scrambled eggs is the only thing that can get me to smile” AU.
  • “You’re the one in class who has tattoos all over their arms and piercings and everybody’s scared of you and one day I catch you watching cat videos and doodling in the middle of a lecture and wow you’re a dork” AU.
  • “I work part-time as a cashier at the local corner store and you come here regularly to shop and bond with me over the microwavable chicken bites so how about I take you out on a proper date instead?” AU.
  • “I’m the owner of a magic shop and you discover my magics one day when you walk in on my cat flying around inside the shop on a broom and now I have to take you in as my apprentice or turn you into a toad” AU.
  • “You’re the health-conscious med student and I’m the chain-smoking art student who’s also your barista and you leave me notes on smoking and lung health on your napkins and also a 20-page essay on lung cancer tucked under your saucer” AU.
  • “You’re a tea-lover yet you come to the coffee shop where I work at just to see my foam art and you give me hefty tips regularly so I’ve taken it upon myself to master the art of tea-making just for you” AU.
  • “I’m a fashion major and I’m working on my illustrations and maybe I’ve had too much coffee but I swear I just saw one of the mannequins move so here I am calling you in the middle of the night please help I’m scared” AU.
  • “You work at a fast food restaurant and as you hand me my food you lecture me for ruining my health what is this hypocrisy” AU.
  • “I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?” AU.

inspired by this video (sfw, but a sex toy is being used as car repair, so take that as you will)

“Laura’s gonna flip,” Derek says in dismay, looking at the huge dent in the driver’s side door of the Camaro. Her most precious possession, the car she’d been saving up for forever, the car she waxes and washes every weekend, the car that she let Derek borrow to go to the Mathletes competition in San Francisco because Derek had a basketball game on Friday and couldn’t make the official school bus, the car that Laura made him swear his life on, is now forever ruined.

“Damn, if there ever was a good place to curse, that would have been it,” Stiles says, crossing his arms and looking far more attractive than he had the right to. “C’mon, Derek. Just say it. Fuck.”

Derek blushes, watching the word tumble out of Stiles’ pink mouth. “No, I… there’s gotta be a way to fix it. But if I call her insurance people she’s gonna know…”

“It’s totally my fault,” Stiles says. “I was the one who wanted to go to Tastee Freeze on the way back, and let some dingbat hit you in the parking lot. Actually, it’s their fault, whoever can’t drive.”

Derek shakes his head. It’s his fault. He’d been having too much fun this weekend; he’d spent practically all of it with Stiles. He’d had a crush on him forever— in fact, joined Mathletes at his request, and the whole year of practice, of spending afternoons with Stiles poring over math problems, watching Stiles lick Cheeto dust off his fingers— it’s been too much. Coupled with the fact that Stiles actually just plain forgot to catch the bus on Friday, and then caught a ride with Derek, meant hours in the car listening to him sing along to Hamilton and muddle through the rap bits, and sleeping next to him in the four-to-a-room motel Saturday night, and waking up with Stiles’ face smashed into his shoulder.

Derek had been too overwhelmed by it all, too overwhelmed by Stiles. Getting the chance to spend time with his friend this weekend had just intensified his feelings, and he knows there’s no chance that Stiles will ever feel the same, so he’s just drinking it all in, savoring these moments when he can.

It had been a terrible parking job, the Camaro was at a weird angle, that’s why the person rounding the turn had hit him. Derek sighs. He guesses it’s for the best. He’ll just have to pay Laura back. For forever.

Stiles is studying the door, eyes narrowed in concentration. “Actually, it’s not that bad. They didn’t even scratch it. It’s just a dent. With the right amount of leverage…”

“I’m sorry, do you happen to have a magical car-door fixer in your overnight bag?”

Somehow, this causes Stiles to turn bright red. “Okay. I have an idea. But you have to promise not to laugh.”


Derek watches, perplexed, as Stiles pulls his duffle bag out of the back seat, and then rummages around in it.

“Promise not to laugh,” Stiles repeats.

“I promise.” Derek is confused, but sincere.

Stiles pulls a bright blue dildo out of the bag. It’s springy, and jiggles a little with the movement. There’s a thick vein running along the side, and the base even has… balls.

Derek’s brain short circuits, an image of Stiles, naked, working himself on the girth of the toy, his mouth open, panting, as he tries to get the right angle, skin flushed pink from pleasure…

“Fuck,” Derek says.

Keep reading

Dean and Cas meeting in high school, when Dean is shoved hard in a fight and Cas, walking past, grips his arm to steady him. “Urgh, don’t touch him, you’ll catch what he’s got!” yells the guy who doing the pushing. “You’ll start kissing boys too!”

Cas keeping his hold on that arm as he calmly draws back his fist, and punches the guy in the face. Left-handed, the nose doesn’t break, but it bleeds. The guy takes a look at the pair of their murderous faces, and leaves.

Cas keeping his hold on that arm as he pulls Dean into the bathrooms and cleans him up, slopping water messily over his neck and face. Dean, one eye swelling up beautifully, makes faces at Cas in the cracked bathroom mirror.

Cas keeping his hold on that arm as, day after day, month after month, they have each other’s backs. A fight every other week or so, some light shoving in the halls most days. “Shouldn’t have kissed that boy,” Dean says. “It started this mess.” Cas shakes his head. “There’s nothing wrong with kissing boys,” he says. 

Cas keeping his hold on that arm as Dean kisses himself another boy. He’s pretty sure he grips tight enough to leave a handprint. Dean doesn’t seem to mind, though. “Is there anything wrong with just kissing one boy?” he says, softly, lips still brushing against Cas’. “Like, forever?”

Cas keeping his hold on that arm as they walk out of school on graduation day, triumphant. When he moves into his room in college, Dean’s there to help him shift his stuff. And at the end of the year, Dean’s there again to move it all back out. “You guys are so cute,” says his roommate. “What’s your secret?” 

Dean looks over at Cas and raises his eyebrows.

Cas shrugs. “Hold tight,” he says. “And don’t let go.”