Pear and fig jam tart (kinda healthy) 🍐

Crust: 1.5 cups flour, 5 Tbsp sugar, ½ tsp salt, 12 Tbsp melted butter. Press into pan and bake at 350° for 30 min.

Filling: 5 pears thinly sliced, melted fig jam, and cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger blend. Brush top of crust with jam and sprinkle with spice. Lay pears in circular pattern in 1 layer. Brush fig jam on first layer and sprinkle with spice. Continue layering pears, jam, and spice until finished (mine was 3 layers). Bake additional 30 min. Let cool completely 1 hour before serving.

I’m trying to put into words how I’m feeling tonight- but I’m having a hard time. So bear with me here.

I have been working on improving my health and physical fitness for MANY years. I’m not sure when the need to be a certain size or to have a certain look became super important for me or even mattered at all- but it did. I constantly find myself silently beating myself up for things that I ate or workouts I didn’t do. It’s exhausting, it really is.

I had an appendectomy 4 weeks ago. And I dropped from 130lbs to 120lbs in about a week from loss of appetite & sleeping the entire week post-op. Since then, I’ve been doing light cardio to stay active as I’m not allowed to lift weights for a few more weeks. You know how happy I was to see 120lbs on the scale?! I was beyond excited. All I could think was “okay hales, you just gotta stay here and maintain it.”

I’m now sitting at around 126lbs. I know I look a healthy weight but I still catch myself thinking that I messed it up. Making a goal to stay as lean as I was during my recovery when I was hardly eating AT ALL- was so unattainable and unrealistic and just plain stupid on my part.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is this- during your fitness journey you will have MANY ups and MANY downs. This could go on for years until you find your groove. Heck, I’ve been religiously working out for over 4 years and I still haven’t figured out this whole healthy lifestyle. Nothing will change over night. You may lose your motivation for days or even weeks at a time (that’s me right now) but it will come back and you will push past it. I’ve had this fitness blog for years and some may follow me and think I’m SO healthy and SO motivated all the time, but that’s so far from true. But, I’m still here. Trying my best and that’s all you can do 🥰