Hawks

time to book selfie.

I, for one, read in geodesic domes on the tops of buildings when pregnant.

post a photo of yourself reading anything anywhere to support the New York Public Library’s #ireadeverywhere literacy initiative.

(current reading: “H is for Hawk” by Helen MacDonald. highly recommended for those into memoir/Hawks/death/grief).

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Toews does the Kane’s shuffle.

Reasons To Love Jonathan B. Toews, Actual Person

My relationship with hockey RPF fandom has been complicated since I stopped creating and consuming RPF a couple years ago, because so many of my friends focus on the Kaner/Tazer pairing. I always loved both Kaner and Tazer as characters, but as real people, I find Patrick Kane a legitimately despicable human being. (Here’s a primer about that, and here’s some good discussion about Patrick Kane and RPF compartmentalization.)

But Jonathan Toews… well.

Friends. Let me tell you a thing or two about Jonathan Toews, Non-Fictional Human Being.

1. At the age of 4, his father took him to his first NHL game. In response to the offer of a hot dog, Toews said, “Dad, all I want to do is watch the game.” (source)

2. At the age of 10, Toews captained the Winnipeg Junior Jets AAA team to a championship. After the win, he noticed one of the team’s less-talented players standing off to the side. Toews abandoned the celebration, went over to that kid, and told him, “You deserve a medal just as much as everyone else.” (source)

3. At the University of North Dakota, Toews was busted for underage drinking at a bar. He would have escaped the police had he not taken the time to retrieve his hat. (source)

4. At the age of 19, Toews had been to a grand total of two concerts: Boston and Brad Paisley. (source)

5. Before his rookie season, Toews took lessons from a professional actor (the guy who played the guidance counselor in American Pie II) in an attempt to make his body language and facial expressions more interesting. (source)

6. When he’s playing hockey, Toews does not notice anything he’s wearing except the socks. (source)

7. In 2009, Toews was invited to lead the crowd at Wrigley Field in singing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game.” He brought cue cards with the lyrics written on them. “I know the song, but you don’t want to screw up in case you have a brain cramp,” he explained. (source)

8. Toews is so immutably competitive that he once checked an infant. I dare you not to laugh.

9. When asked what animal he would most like to be, he said a tiger, because “they run fast and they eat things.” (source)

10. After winning the Stanley Cup for the third time, he was seen at two o’clock in the morning walking around thanking United Center security guards for their hard work. (source)

In conclusion: Jonathan motherfucking Toews. I wholeheartedly adore the man.

stan bowman: “hey guys i think that we should trade saad. what do y’all think?”

me, my mother, the entire hockey fan base, gary bettman, and stan bowman’s wife:

stan bowman: “cool. let’s do it.”