Hate It Or Love It

7 Things I Learned Before 17

1. 99% of the time, you feel better when you go out. Don’t turn down social invitations. Meet people and talk to people and try new things.

2. Take pictures of your friends. Take pictures of their feet and their hands and their faces and the landscapes around them.

3. Drink tea everyday.

4. It’s not uncool to be clever. Be clever. Please be as nerdy as you can be, because ultimately they’ll come a point when people realize that clever is actually pretty cool, and life gets better for everyone after that.

5. When you’re sad, talk to people.

6. If you love someone, let them know. Don’t be afraid to tell people how you feel - it saves a lot of hassle to be sincere.

7. Live in the moment. Don’t think too much about the bigger picture. Don’t think about the long run - take each day as it comes and fill it with small things that will make you happy.

—  the person who taught me this is the happiest person i know

When she tilts her head like a bluebird into the nest
of your collarbones and insists on loving all of you,

pretend you didn’t find a boys hair
in the rough drafts of her poems.

When you ask her what she loved
about him, she says I know this is bad

but he was so terrible to me, I never ran
out of things to write about.

You wonder if she wants a lover
or a writing prompt.

In the morning, you wake up holding hands
like otters do. She memorizes how you take
your coffee; no sugar, all cream.

You light peppermint candles in her kitchen.
She feeds you fresh fruit and babybell cheese wheels
while you play with the red wax.

She listens to you babble on about your childhood
and first dog and favorite color and all of the
strange things your parents did growing up.

She kisses you on the nose. Points at your
poetry. Forces you to acknowledge your knack
for dragging art from trauma by the wrist.

She insists on making you watch Star Wars
with her- because apparently it’s a cultural sin
to be eighteen years old and still have never seen
Star Wars-  and then she doesn’t even watch it!

She watches you watching it, to make sure
you are reacting properly.

You insist on reading her daily horoscope.
Even though she doesn’t believe in it,
she at least tries to act interested

in astrology and tarot cards and all the other
hippy dippy trippy shit you believe in, but can’t prove.

You fall in love with her quickly, the way
she wanted you to- all skin and poem and Diet Coke
listening to Regina Spektor on her bed

while she calls you babygirl
and plays with your hair.

One afternoon, she mentions how you’d look so cute
with a gap. That night, you stop wearing your retainer.

When she tells you that she loves you
and that she has a lying problem on the same day,

you know you are completely and utterly fucked.

Because she will never admit that loving you
is the kindest thing she almost did.

She knows you are not stupid enough
to look love in the face and say no.

When she takes you on a date
to the same rink she used to roller-skate
with her last love, do not cry.

When she apologizes for how his ghost
still haunts her mouth like a last meal,

grit your teeth. Kiss the top of her
scalp. Assure her it is no problem.

Do not be jealous of his sheer good fortune.
Do not hate him for being the slam poem

she never stops writing. Do not hate her
for being the flood in your backyard.

Do not hate yourself for falling in love
with a storm dressed like a girl.

Do not hate yourself for falling in love
with feeling loved.

Do not point out the irony as she explains
how unhealthy your relationship is

between drags of her cigarette.

The first time she shouts at you,
your name foams madly at her mouth.

She tells you, I don’t know how
to love anyone with my whole being

and you remind her Well,
I don’t know how to not.

In an effort to get her to stay, you promise
I will be whatever you want me to be.

She tells you that is the problem.

I know how hard it is to deal with these kind of stuff, (im suffering too) and I also know that this is out of my blog type but I don’t care. This is important.

I just want you ALL to try to stay alive, just take one day at a time
Sending virtual hugs to everyone x