I'm sorry

I’m sorry that I hurt you, that I said something to make you leave. But ever since that day I’ve hated myself for everything. But sometimes I realize that our relationship was toxic, it was only benefiting you. You stepped all over me, and over powered me, and I let you do it cause that’s how I thought relationships were like… now i realize that it was good that you left me

Don't Listen To Them

Could you do one where jack has an eating disorder

————————————————

A/N - This one is quite long so I apologise now, but I couldn’t stop writing!

————————————————

Jack had his insecurities. Everyone did. But he was never that bothered by them. He didn’t think about them too often until recently. He knew he what he was getting himself into when he started YouTube. He knew there would be haters and people who didn’t like him, but he wasn’t quite prepared for the hate he would receive. Don’t get it wrong, the positive comments completely outweighed the negatives, but they were so personal and more often that not, hurt.

Jack ignored them. He always had. But he recently started reading them for a bit of a laugh to start off with. There were some really stupid people out there, he thought to himself. But then he read more.
“He’s gotten a bit chubby hasn’t he?”
“I think he’s put on a bit of weight”
“Look at the size of him next to the others”
“He shouldn’t be walking around without a top on. He doesn’t have anything to show off about”
Jack read further and further into the comments, reading more and more comments about his body and weight.
“It’s not true. Just ignore it” he mumbled to himself, willing himself to believe what he was saying.

From that day on, Jack was a bit more careful about what he ate. He made his food pile a little smaller and cut out the snacks in between meals. But it still wasn’t enough. So he went to the gym for longer. He woke up early every morning and went to the gym for a few hours to burn off more fat. It was working, but jack didn’t see that. He just saw too much fat. So he cut out breakfast. He didn’t really need it anyway. And soon enough, he ‘forgot’ to eat lunch as he kept telling himself. Whenever one of the boys asked him to go out for a meal, he would just claim he was busy or already eaten. Eventually he just stopped eating altogether, unless someone forced him. Sometimes he couldn’t get out of it, so he would eat. Then, as soon as possible, he would force himself to throw up. He started to feel good again. He felt better, but it wasn’t enough. So he carried on. He stopped seeing people, worried that they would think he was too fat and he spent his time working out. Although he lived with josh and Conor, the two rarely saw him anymore as he was always too ‘busy’. Conor was worried sick about his little brother and had confided in the rest of the group. They all agreed to come round and see what was wrong with Jack.

The doorbell rang and Josh answered the door.
“Hey!” He said as he opened it to Joe and Caspar.
“Hi” they replied, smiling at their friend.
Mikey arrived next, Oli following soon after. The 6 friends sat in the living room, waiting for Jack to join them.
“Does he know we’re coming?” Joe asked.
“I told him but I’m not sure if he was really listening” Josh admitted.
“I miss him mate” Mikey added, everyone agreeing.
“I’ll go hurry him up” Josh said, standing up and walking towards Jacks room. Conor sighed sadly, rubbing his hands through his hair.
“What’s up Con?” Oli asked.
“Jack. I can’t get through to him. I don’t understand what’s wrong”
“Don’t worry. He’s probably just going through a dodgy stage” Caspar added.

Their conversation was interrupted when Jack came down. He gave a small smile as he sat down besides Conor. Everyone just stared, shocked at how different Jack looked. He had circles under his eyes and his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. His cheekbones were sharper than usual and his clothes seemed far too big.
“So… you alright?” Caspar said, trying to break the silence.
“Hmm yeah” Jack mumbled, nodding his head slightly.
“Right, well lets order this food then shall we” Joe added, trying to change the subject.

An hour later, everyone had eaten their fair share of pizza, apart from Jack. He was forced to eat one slice by Conor.
“I’m not hungry, I ate at lunch”
“I don’t care. You’re going to eat some Jack”
“But-“
“No buts. Eat” Conor said sternly.
“He’s right mate, one piece is fine” Mikey added.
Jacks eyes watered as he lifted the slice to his mouth. He finished his piece then stood up.
“I’m going to the bathroom” he said quickly before dashing off. Conor watched sadly as Jack ran off.
“I need to stop him”
“Go on Conor. Help him”
“Tell him we understand and that he doesn’t need to change ok” Oli added.
Conor nodded and walked off to try and help his brother. Him and the boys knew Jack wasn’t ok and knew Jack had an eating disorder now. He just needed to realise it himself.

“Jack? Can you let me in?” Conor asked as he knocked on the bathroom door.
“Hang on”
“Jack. Let me in. Now”
“One second”
“I’ll break the door down Jack”
“No Conor! Wait a minute!”
But it was too late. Conor had already bashed the door down and gasped when he saw Jack leaning over the toilet.
“Buddy” Conor whispered sadly, his eyes filling with tears.
“I’m sorry” Jack said as he forced his fingers down his throat. Jack gagged just as Conor rushed forwards and pulled his fingers out. He grabbed Jack from behind and pulled him down to the floor so Jacks back was rested against Conor’s chest.
“No! Let me go!” Jack shouted, wriggling about trying to get out of the restraint.
“No Jack. You need help”
“No I don’t! I just need to lose weight and I’ll be ok!”
“Stop it Jack! You don’t need to lose weight! Look at you! You’re practically skin and bone. I can see every one of your ribs. You’re wasting away Jack and I hate it. You were fine the way you were. You were never fat and you let people get to you”
Jack just cried at his brothers words. All the pain and feelings coming out from the last few months. Conor held him, knowing he needed to get it out.
“Shh shh, its fine. I’ve got you buddy. You don’t need to deal with it by yourself anymore. We’ll help you. All of us”
“I’m a mess” Jack hiccuped.
“No you’re not, you just got confused”
“I’m so sorry Conor”
“Don’t be Jack. We all get lost sometimes but I’m here now. And we’ll fix you, we’ll get you back to how you used to be”
“What if I fall back?”
“You won’t. As long as you don’t listen to them and only listen to me. You’re perfect Jack, don’t change for them or for anyone else. Just be you and that’s enough”

3

Anti-Semitic Crime in America: Latest on the hate crimes targeting Jews across the country

  • On Monday, authorities in St. Louis confirmed a local Jewish cemetery’s desecration by vandals.
  •  That same day, the Jewish Community Centers Association of North America reported yet another rash of bomb threats at centers nationwide.
  • And those incidents came only days after President Donald Trump brushed off a question about rising anti-Semitism in the U.S. from an Orthodox Jewish reporter at a White House press conference
  • He told him first to “sit down,” then saying “I am the least anti-Semitic person that you’ve ever seen in your entire life.”
  • A total of 69 incidents have been reported at 54 JCCs in 27 different states, CNN reported on Tuesday, citing information from the JCCA, a national organization of JCCs. 
  • The bomb threats aren’t just limited to JCCs: On Wednesday, Jonathan Greenblatt, the CEO of the Anti-Defamation League, tweeted that the group’s national headquarters was the target of an anonymous bomb threat.
  • And in January, an Orthodox Jewish Chabad center in Florida was evacuated twice, on two consecutive days, after receiving multiple threatening phone calls. 
  • It’s not yet clear whether all of the threatening calls are connected, CNN reported, but the FBI is reportedly investigating the threats. Read more (2/22/17 4:02 PM)