Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

  • Me:*wears Harry Potter tshirt daily*
  • Me:*reads Harry Potter as school reading book*
  • Me:*has a Harry Potter fan account*
  • Me:*draws Harry Potter characters*
  • Me:*has Harry Potter marathons at the weekend*
  • Someone:Do you like Harry Potter?
  • Me:No.

Harry Potter AU where Harry is hiding in the cabinet in Borgin and Burkes. And he sees Lucius grab Draco with his cane. And he hears the hiss, “What did I tell you?” And he hears the quiver in the blonde boy’s voice, “Don’t touch anything.”

And Harry knows.

Because he’s used the voice that Draco uses for the past twelve years.

He knows.

Because now that he’s lived with the Weasleys for over a month, he knows that that’s not the way that a father’s voice should be.

He knows.

He’s heard Vernon use that voice over and over again, day after day, year after year.

And he knows.

And he acts.

Because really other than being a spiteful little git, at this point, Draco really hasn’t done anything to truly harm Harry. And Harry’s twelve. He’s still young, still innocent, easy to forgive, easy to let his “saving people thing” get the better of him.

He doesn’t do magic. Not really. At least, he doesn’t mean to. Well, he does. But he tries to stop himself. Though it’s not a very good attempt. Either way, the jars on the shelves all shatter, their contents falling onto Lucius’ head.

And Harry bursts out of the cabinet and he grabs a very startled Draco’s hand and he pulls him out of the shop. And they’re running down the dark, grim, streets. And it’s not long before they get lost since Harry doesn’t even know where they are, let alone where they’re going.

But Draco knows exactly where they are and so he tugs Harry down a road and around the corner and suddenly, they’re in Diagon Alley. And Harry’s shocked and confused because how could such a terrible place exist next to such a wonderful one?

But they don’t have time for that now because Lucius is charging after them, green spells bursting out of the end of his wand. And Draco lets out a scream and Harry (bless him) wonders aloud what kind of spells the green ones are.

And Draco is tugging his arm so hard that he thinks it’s going to come out of his socket. And the boys run as fast as they can, pushing through the crowd, and Harry’s probably apologizing and Draco’s screaming at him to move and apologize later.

And Harry sees the mob of red heads and he’s screaming for their assistance.

Fred and George spot him first, right as their mother is asking, “Where on earth could Harry be?”

“Found him,” the twins say.

Gasps. Screams. School supplies tumbling to the ground.

And Arthur and Molly, oh Arthur and Molly, veterans of the original Order of the Phoenix, drawing their strength from parental love, they don’t even hesitate. They grab Harry and Draco and Ron and Hermione and Ginny and Fred and George and Percy and they shove them into the nearest shop.

And the kids are all huddled together, Percy and the twins standing in front of the younger ones, and it’s Ron who manages to whisper, “What’s Malfoy doing here?” Before Hermione stomps on his foot.

And the duel!

The duel is fantastic.

Arthur and Molly verses Lucius.

Just close your eyes and imagine.

And soon Arthur is able to summon other Ministry workers. Including a strange looking man with a strange eye, a man whose skin is slightly darker than Hermione’s, and a girl with bright pink hair who is barely older than Percy.

The battle’s over before it even begins. These strange new people grab Lucius and Apparate away and of course he’ll buy himself out of trouble in no time but at least the immediate threat is gone.

Gilderoy Lockhart timidly steps out and squeaks that it’s a shame that he wasn’t there to stop the duel, that he knew just the hex that could have finished it.

The crowd falls into the streets, praising Arthur and Molly who are quite flustered by all of the attention. Fred and George are clapping their parents on their back, doing a sort of chant. Ron is bragging about how he managed to get a shot in (he hadn’t). Percy is excitedly talking to his father about the legal procedures that Lucius will face. Ginny and Hermione are going around, collecting all of the school supplies that they dropped. Ginny finds a rather unusual book but she dismisses it as something that her parents bought and stuffs it into her bag.

And Harry and Draco. Harry and Draco are staring at one another, not saying a word but having a conversation nonetheless.

Molly finally says that they ought to get back to the Burrow, away from this post-battle excitement. The kids all groan but she and Arthur push them back to the Leaky Cauldron so that they can use the Floo. Draco shuffles along, not knowing where else to go. It’s not until Molly gestures towards the fireplace with a smile that he realizes that his life is about to change.

From there…well…I’ll let you think of the possibilities…

Okay but technically all of the purebloods were related to one another right? So in a weird confusing way, Harry is also a descendant of Salazar Slytherin.

And I mean seriously they spent all of Chamber of Secrets building up the plot-twist that Harry could talk to snakes and then he’s in front of a giant snake and it’s all, “Oh, no, you can’t talk to it, it only obeys me.”

What kind of lost potential is that?

Like just imagine this twelve-year-old kid racing through the pipes and the Basilisk is following him and he just trips and curls up into a bawl and the Basilisk is ready to strike and Harry just moans, “Don’t!”

And the Basilisk stops.

Because Harry can speak to it and since he really is probably Salazar Slytherin’s fiftieth cousin twenty times removed or something, the Basilisk listens. And she stops. 

And then maybe they have a conversation and Harry just sort of awkwardly asks her to follow him and they head back to Ginny. And Riddle’s furious but he says that it doesn’t matter because in a few minutes, Ginny will be dead and he’ll be back. And Harry just grabs the diary and chucks it at the Basilisk who chomps it between her teeth and swallows it, destroying it and the spirit.

So Harry wakes up Ginny and they tell the Basilisk that she can’t attack people anymore (she never wanted to to begin with) and the snake happily curls up inside the statue.

And Harry ended up saving the day not with his connection to Gryffindor but with his connection to Slytherin.

And then, a few years later, an exhausted Harry opens the Chamber of Secrets and unleashes the weapon in the Battle of Hogwarts. And Voldemort has to look on in horror as he’s defeated by Salazar Slytherin’s own “weapon”.

Ginny Weasley going on several dates with one guy before it just becomes too much.

Ginny Weasley listening to the guy tell her how beautiful she is, how lovely, how smart, all while she’s smiling a tight smile, her fingers gripping the edges of the table until her knuckles are white.

Ginny Weasley excusing herself and walking to the bathroom, appearing calm and collected, to those who don’t know her, for she knows how to hide it well.

Ginny Weasley locking the stall door and breaking down.

Ginny Weasley sobbing because she wants to believe that this newest guy really means it, that he really finds her beautiful, lovely, smart…

Ginny Weasley not believing it.

Ginny Weasley not letting herself believe it, because the last time that she was swept away by a guy’s compliments, horrible horrible things had happened.

Ginny Weasley not trusting a guy for more than a few weeks, certainly not loving them, because there are too many consequences that come with trust and love.

Ginny Weasley moving onto the next guy, trying to find that one guy who won’t make her stomach twist with every compliment, trying to find that one guy who she believes genuinely cares for her, trying to trust, trying to love, failing, failing, failing…

Ginny Weasley having to resist punching her brothers when they tease her about dating multiple guys in a row because can’t they see that she wants to settle down with one? She just can’t, she can’t, because she can’t bring herself to give another guy her heart, not after what happened the last time…

Ginny Weasley truly caring for each and every guy that she dates, but every time she closes her eyes, their faces transform into his and he’s smiling at her, a cold, twisted, smile, and his eyes lack a complete soul, and there’s ink dripping down the front of his robes, and she wants to run away, but she can’t…

Ginny Weasley having a damned good reason for not wanting to date the same guy for very long; a reason that’s overlooked by her brothers and 95% of the fandom.