Everybody knows about monsterfuckers and robofuckers and the like, but do you ever see anything about historical figure fuckers? You ever see posts about people wanting to get absolutely rawed by Genghis Kahn? Pounded into a straw mattress by Joan of Arc wearing a strap on? You don’t. I’m tired of historical figure fucker erasure and in this essay I will
Liking the “those musicals” doesn’t make you a bad theatre nerd. If it was Hamilton, Heathers, DEH or BMC that got you into the Broadway community that’s totally okay! If those are your favourite musicals and you haven’t gotten around to listening to others ones that’s okay!
What ISN’T OKAY is thinking those are the only valid/good musicals and refusing to accept the merits of underrated musicals and expanding your horizons
It doesn’t make you cool to hate on overrated musicals, and it doesn’t make you cool to ignore underrated ones
Suprise! I’m writing a Sanders Sides highschool AU fanfiction! And it’s not Gt (WHAT?!) but I hope you enjoy regardless. Also it references the musical Hamilton but you shouldn’t need to know it to read this fanfic.
Summary: Roman Sanders was used to being in the spotlight, so when the nerdy class president swoops in and steals the lead in “Hamilton” senior year, Roman’s world gets turned upside down. Suddenly everyone in the school is fawning over Logan, including Roman’s best friend Patton. Roman can’t seem to understand where it all went so wrong, or why the techie Virgil seems to get such a kick out of Roman’s dethroning.
Roman Sanders was used to being in the spotlight. He had practically grown up on stage; ever since he could walk, it seemed the young actor found somewhere to preform. Roman was the kind of high school theatre kid who spent every summer at a different thespian camp and spent his school year traveling between drama club rehearsals and community theatre productions.
So when Roman waltzed into his last high school auditions, he knew he was a shoe-in for the lead. Things had gotten to the point where the other drama students were too nervous to audition against him, instead fighting amongst themselves to see who would have the honor of being his co-stars.
Given this exposition, imagine Roman’s surprise when he saw another individual’s name on the audition sheet. The thespian rubbed his eyes, checking if he had read that correctly. There was no way the snooty, book-obsessed senior class president would ever step foot into the class auditorium, let alone sing and dance whilst judged by his peers. Roman chuckled at the thought, guessing one of the techies had written the name down as some sort of goof.
“Roman!” Thomas, the director, greeted the young actor as he entered onstage. Thomas got up, going over to greet him with a smile before holding the student by his shoulders. “It seems you’ve got some competition. Another Sanders, eh?”
“No relation.” Roman heard someone answer before he could speak up himself. All heads turned to the auditorium doors, where there stood Logan Sanders himself. Logan began walking down the aisle towards the stage, adjusting his tie as he walked. Roman couldn’t help but notice how out of place the uptight bookworm looked in the extravagant room.
“I take it you’re Logan then.” Thomas went over to greet Logan with a handshake, which was stiffly received. “We’re so happy to have you join our ranks! No matter what you’re cast as, we hope you stick around. I think you’ll find us to be a jolly little family here. Isn’t that right, gang?” He waved an arm to the multitude students sitting in the first several rows, many of which whooped and cheered to prove his point.
“I apologize if I kept you waiting.” Logan said. “I was caught up in an academic matter.” Roman couldn’t hold back a snort. Who spoke like that?
“No, not at all!” Thomas assured him, giving him a small pat on the back. “In fact, we haven’t even started yet. Joan, please hand them the sign-in sheet.” Joan the assistant director came over to stand next to Thomas with a clipboard, handing it to Logan. Logan quickly scribbled his name, handing it over to Roman who did the same.
“We’ll start with the two of you.” Joan explained. “We want to get the lead auditions out of the way so we can test you against other characters and see who will make the best, most cohesive cast. Have you auditioned before?”
“Yes.” Roman said cheekily, knowing the question wasn’t for him. A few of his classmates snickered.
“No, but I’m familiar with the process.” Logan either didn’t hear Roman or chose to ignore him.
“Alrighty then!” Thomas clapped his hands together. “We’ll go in alphabetical order, so Logan goes first.”
“Good luck.” Roman smirked, jumping down and joining his best friend in the front row. “You’ll need it.” There was a mix of chuckles and glares thrown his way, but Roman knew you couldn’t please everyone.
“I don’t think I will, actually.” Logan replied, causing a chorus of ‘ooohs’ to sound through the crowd at his comeback.
“Now, this is an excellent time to remind everyone that this is a judgement-free zone.” Thomas gave Roman a pointed look. “Some of us have been here for years, and some of us it’s our first day, but we’re all equals. There’s no reason to be nervous. We’re all here to have fun and put on a great show.”
As Thomas began prepping Logan for what to sing, Roman couldn’t help but jokingly wonder if he should pull out a camera. This was sure to be comedy gold. What made Logan think he had any chance against Roman in a competition of the arts? The only possible explanation was that Logan had lost some sort of bet and was being forced into this against his will. Roman almost felt sorry for him.
Then Logan started to sing.
Roman’s confidence deflated with every passing note. Logan was…fantastic. He had the singing voice of angel, hidden away behind those dorky glasses. And Logan had more than raw talent; every word was filled with such character, such passion, that even without all the costuming and lights it was truly as though the musical was being performed right then and there. During his performance, a hush fell over the auditorium as no one wanted to miss a second. With a gulp, Roman realized that had never once happened at any of his auditions before.
As the song faded to an end, Logan took a stiff bow. The crowd was silent before all at once bursting into applause. Even some of the techies were on their feet, shouting Logan’s praises.
“Wh-where did that come from?” Roman asked, hands nervously touching his cheeks.
“I have an appreciation for Hamilton.” Logan said with a cocky shrug, causing a round of snickers to sound throughout the room.
Noticing Roman’s anxiety, Patton turned to put a reassuring hand on his arm. “Hey, it’s alright.” He whispered. “You’ve got this!”
But Roman wasn’t so sure. He took a look at the directors, and was discouraged to find them both still in shock. Joan was gazing at Logan in complete awe before scribbling frantic notes on his clipboard.
“Well done, Logan!” Thomas said cheerfully, rising to come pat Logan on the back. “Are you sure that was your first audition? Because you coulda fooled me!”
“Yes, I’m quite sure.” Logan stated, not catching that the question was more rhetorical. Roman groaned quietly. How on earth could that performance just have come from this emotionless robot before him?
“Alright, Roman, you’re up buddy!” Thomas said, guiding Logan over to the stage stairs. Roman found, for the first time in at least eight years, he was actually nervous for an audition. Why couldn’t he have just gone first? Why couldn’t Logan have stayed in whatever academic club he was at before? Why did the world suddenly have it out for him?
“That was your cue, Roman.” Thomas’ voice broke Roman out of his melancholy thoughts.
“Sorry, what?” Roman asked, shaking his head to try and get back in the moment.
“Your cue.” Thomas motioned to the accompanist to start again. Roman braced himself, but the second he opened his mouth the note came out like he was going through puberty all over again. Roman’s cheeks turned a slight pink as a few giggles were heard.
“It’s alright!” Thomas assured him. “Just try again.”
And so began the longest, most humiliating audition of Roman’s life. Every note was a struggle. He forgot the words. Nothing sounded the way he had rehearsed it. Eventually Roman managed to get through the song, and he was so focused on getting the basic music down that he forgot to actually perform in character.
“That was good, Roman!” Thomas praised, but Roman took note of his wording. Good, not great.
“Just one more time, I can nail this, I swear!” Roman begged.
“Sorry, but we have to keep going.” Joan gestured to the many students still waiting in their seats, many looking bored by this point. Logan Sanders seemed to have been answering a text. A text! He didn’t even have proper stage etiquette! Everyone else was wise enough to know that there were no phones out during an audition, and yet no one was correcting him on it.
“Maybe at the end of auditions we’ll have enough extra time to squeeze you in again, if you really think you need it.” Thomas said hopefully, not wanting to be the cause of Roman’s sadness. But the auditions came and went with Roman finding himself leaving disappointed.
“Great job, Roman.” Deceit Sanders said with a sarcastic smirk, his words clearly insincere. Roman vaguely recognized him as the head of costuming and makeup as he bumped into Roman slightly on his way out with the other techs. Roman gave him a small scowl.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it so much, Roman!” Patton told him as the two began walking to the parking lot. “It really wasn’t as bad as you think. Everyone’s flubbed an audition before, it just happens.”
“Not to me.” Roman said, sulking.
“Besides, your audition didn’t count as much as others.” Patton reminded his thespian bestie. “Thomas has known you for years. Even if today was well, today, he can look back on all you’ve done. He knows what you’re capable of; if he thinks you’ll make a better Hamilton than Logan, than you’ve got nothing to worry about. And you would make a great Hamilton! You’re a great actor! Why else would you have been cast so many times before?”
“You know, you’ve got a point there padre.” Roman began to perk up, waving goodbye to his friend as he turned to his car. So he failed an audition, big whoop. Thomas was still sure to cast him as the lead. His director knew more than anyone how important it was to Roman for him to be cast in this production.
After all, it was Roman’s senioryear. Roman’s last production before going off to college as a musical theatre major. Thomas had asked for Roman’s input specifically on what show to do this spring to grant him a proper send-off. After all of Roman’s dedication to the theatre program, all the (occasional) blood, sweat and tears, there was no way Thomas would yank the rug out from under him by casting some newbie trying to steal his thunder at the last second. No, Roman had to stay confident that his director was wise enough to do what was fair. After all, personal bias was one of the best parts of high school casting.
Still, Roman found it difficult to fall asleep. What if Patton was wrong? What if Thomas had a change of heart? What if Logan was secretly Thomas’ nephew and therefore even closer to Thomas than Roman? They did have the same last name, although so did Roman. So did a few of his classmates, actually.
What would he be cast as if he wasn’t Hamilton? Probably Aaron Burr, who was a decent secondary character. In fact, he could be considered a co-lead. But co-leads don’t end up on broadway. Roman shuddered, pulling his blanket closer to himself.
Sometime around five in the morning, Roman’s phone dinged, and he scrambled to grab it off the nightstand. Roman got a group text the next morning from Thomas with the casting list. He frantically began to read: “I hope you all had fun yesterday at auditions! No matter where we cast you, I hope you know- ” Roman scrolled past the obligatory mushy gooshy message, getting straight to the nitty gritty of the list. His eyes widened, and for a long moment Roman found himself completely frozen in shock at the results. It was worse than he had imagined: