"I know I sound like a fucking white person." Japanese exactly act like white people do. You've tried to be white in the past. And you just showed off your hypocrisy again in light of the subject you're trying to push.
‘I’ve tried to be white in the past’ y'all! I’m fucking white! I’m half!! I don’t understand what you want from me. Do you want me to disagree with everything about my heritage? Am I supposed to just listen to racial slurs because I deserve it?? I know I’m defending myself but what do you want me to do? It’s taken so long for me to come to terms with my heritage but whenever I try to stand up for it people are telling me that I’m horrible because of it. I’m stuck in the middle you guys. I don’t understand what you want from me