anonymous asked:

kara being asked to write an article about superwoman and kara struggling not to crush the keyboard every time she types superwoman.

*Kara brings her article to Lena.*  
Lena: You need to rewrite it. 
Kara: What? Why? 
Lena: Because you were writing about Superwoman but referring to events that Supergirl handled. I need an article about the *actual* Superwoman and…is everything okay? 
Kara: *fists clenched behind her back* Everything is fine, why? 
Lena: Because you’re looking at me like I ate the last potsticker. 

okay so james’ grandfather was named henry, and harry is a nickname for henry, so what if james and lily actually named harry henry and they just called him harry, and petunia and vernon probably never knew because dumbledore didnt give them a birth certificate, so what if like after the war 18 year old harry is trying to fill out all the employment paperwork at the ministry and they keep telling him that they have no record of him and he’s really confused and frustrated and he’s talking to arthur about it one day and molly overhears and she’s like oh well try using your full name dear, and harry’s just like ??? i thought i was?? harry james potter, that’s what i wrote??? and molly’s just like, no henry dear, try henry james and that’s how harry potter finds out that his name isn’t actually harry

i have a headcanon that after the second wizarding war, muggle technology got sort of integrated into hogwarts to allow closer communication with muggle friends and family

so they have like phones and stuff to use to call home

little daisy dursley calls home on her first day of school

Daisy: “Daddy, I made it into Ravenclaw!”

Dudley: “Oh, Ravenclaw, the, um–” [covers receiver and turns to Harry] “What the hell does that mean?”

Harry: “Smart house.”

Dudley: [goes back to Daisy] “THE SMART HOUSE! Oh, I am so proud of you!”

anonymous asked:

okay but Percival Graves is the magical version of Gordon Ramsay, yes? where he yells and curses at his Senior Aurors but talks quietly to the Junior Aurors and reassuring them that they got this, that they can cast this spell and they still have time


Like, can we just appreciate…

Originally posted by fyeahgordonramsay


Originally posted by weeklyspectator



I love this. I love this. Because I can SEE IT. He’s downright motherfucking COLD in his rage to his senior aurors, because those men and women have KIDS. They can hate him all they like, but he’s going to fucking make sure they’ve got balls big enough and smarts quick enough to get their asses home at the end of the day - if that means they fucking hate him, so be it. Plus, they should fucking know better, merlin’s balls.

But his baby Aurors.

They’re babies. They’re new, young, baby-faced children that decided they wanted to use their gifts to shine a light in the darkness - knowing they could die, knowing it’d be worth it to protect their society. He guides them calmly, because they don’t know better yet. He pulls them back when they’re teetering on the edge. He doesn’t shame them if they quit. He doesn’t warn them if they stay. They knew what they signed up for.

He just prepares them as best they can and when they’re old enough, he fucking LAYS INTO THEM BECAUSE Jesus Christ, Abernathy, do you want a second hole next to your anus? Stay belly down on the ground long enough and one of Grindelwald’s flunkies will be more than happy to send an Avada Kedavra right up your asshole - see if it was worth “resting for a second” then!

@tetrisandwanderingowls said “I bet Tony has accidentally kicked off several campaigns…he doesn’t even notice sometimes and is like, “wow, that’s a good cause, what a good idea” and Pepper and Rhodey just sigh because Tony is so good and doesn’t even realize

I can totally see it. Tony being all, hey there are a lot of people wearing the same shirt outside did I miss something?

And Pepper with an eyeroll: It’s a social movement. They’re protesting the über-gendering of objects and products as part of sale strategies.

Tony: Huh. Sounds like a good idea, how can I support them?

Pepper, thinking of the off-handed ‘if I want to buy woman shampoo because they don’t have the right scent in the men section, I’m gonna buy it, it’s fucking shampoo’ comment by Tony that started the ‘Fucking Shampoo’ movement in the first place: You founded it

Sometimes I feel bad for Pepper

headcanon that a modern!R is a stage set designer 

Okay, hear me out. I always see headcanons for him being an artist, or photographer, and careers along those lines, but what if he was a set designer? And strictly for stage plays and musicals. 

  • He’ll paint the backdrops himself, and enlists “starving artist” college kids to help him make the sets and, to a certain extent, design some props, instead of bringing in sixty year old know it alls.
  • He’s really good at graphic design so he works closely with lighting directors to make incredible digital art and shade the sets to the mood of the scene. 
  • He loves to create sets for revivals because he can take what has already been done and put a modern twist on it. Stays true to what the original designer wanted, while putting his own personality in. 
  • The best sets are the simplest sets. He’s minimalistic regarding the amount of pieces in the show, but puts in an incredible amount of detail and work into every single one. 
  • He’s probably gotten fired once or twice for sneaking in a bottle of wine on set. Probably also quit because companies wouldn’t let him pay the college kids who’s help he wants to enlist. 
  • Ah maybe he meets Jehan while working on a revival of Romeo and Juliet on the west end. Jehan’s playing Benvolio and suggests R “uses red carnation’s on Juliet’s balcony because they’re flowers of love.”
  • Bahorel works as a crew member for the company. The two convince him to join their group of merry men at a local cafe. 
  • Maybe Enj is one of the actors and just so happens to have angelic vocals but that could just be slander 

A Tumblr-less friend posted this theory her husband had. I slammed the headcanon button so hard I should have bought it dinner first.

Thor: Banner, I desire to act like a normal human for a time. How should I accomplish this?
Bruce: Well, um, normal people don’t have your speech pattern, for one. They, um, have jobs and hobbies…
Thor: Hobbies?
Bruce: You know, photography, video games, puzzles…
Thor: And how does one acquire a ‘job’?
Bruce: Most people use the inter… you should probably look in the classifieds in a newspaper. Also, try shaving the beard and cutting your hair- you’re a bit recognizable.
Thor: *sees Superman/Clark Kent costume* A disguise? Like that man?
Bruce: Sure, yeah, glasses work.

-later, above a Chinese restaurant-

Thor: Hello? I saw your ad. I’m Kevin.

the discussion about how jiraiya was not the best teacher got me thinking about my headcanons for what naruto learned on his training trip that wasn’t fancy jutsu

(there is absolutely no basis in canon for any of this, I just wish it were true)

  • how to manage a spy network
  • infiltration (+constructive application for his [presumably] unique henge)
  • honestly, a lot of the nastier side of ninja life that doesn’t involve killing people?? it’s implied jiraiya does a lot of dirty work for konoha when he travels so…..
  • how to not look like a ninja in a civilian town
  • how to not look like a ninja in a foreign hidden village
  • seals, because dammit, jiraiya, teach him about his parents even indirectly 
  • he’s an uzumaki he’ll pick it up quickly
  • the fact that he is occasionally a girl (or neither a girl nor a boy, but that’s less common) and is willing to use her gender identity to stop jiraiya perving on the baths (because that’s his goddaughter and he feels creepy and old now)
  • (the other visitors to the baths are v grateful)
  • how to cook (and use poison, but mostly cook)
  • that cute civilians do not take “wow, you’re really scary!” as a compliment
  • (‘but that’s a standard compliment, why did she get angry at me? ow! it was just a question! …what do you mean civilians don’t consider that a good thing?’)
  • that cute civilians will accept (non-poisoned) baked goods in apology
  • how to walk in high heels
  • how to read and write kanji more thoroughly by editing icha icha (and stop it being Porn Written by a Man™)
  • (in konoha, kakashi is crying happy tears)
  • (anko, after stealing one to find out why, is cackling)
  • a surprising amount of formal etiquette from that time she was dragged into the narutoverse equivalent of a finishing school when jiraiya was off doing Research
  • that nice kimono are heavy and hot and too much work, why do we wear them
  • his alcohol tolerance
  • jiraiya’s alcohol tolerance
  • other people’s alcohol tolerance (in general)
  • how to avoid a group of angry drunk missing nin while trying to keep your angry drunk godfather quiet and compliant 

“Tony, you can’t eat so many donuts.”


“Tony no.”

–Since then, Gladiator Captain America and Tony Stark(osaur) live happily ever after :D

Just saw the screen cap of the new event of the Avengers Academy (x and x), and my imagination can’t help but goes wild :D They are so cute heehee

@digdipper09 said ““The villains might just be able to offer him what the Avengers failed to become…” Holy shit don’t test me man don’t drag me into this - but fucking hell if I’m not already there - but imagine Tony actually getting to realize this, and also how much he fits in better with the Villains than his own ‘team’ like I kind of want him to become a villain (and the rest of the game-player villains all try to take credit for 'recruiting’ Iron Man but like) also at the same time I would looooove to see actions 

Tony the hero wrangle the world’s biggest supervillains into a sort of team that save the world occasionally “because they live in this planet too they don’t wan their prospective underlings to die from indirect cause from something other than their own villainy” and I just- cannot- deal

Like I imagine Tony like provokes a villain on television (much to criticism from everyone) and they come with an army and Tony manipulates them with his own [Iron Man, Villains Fave] thing into making that army save the day and like - the Villain might figure it out later as they are saving the day except they don’t even get mad because Tony Stark took off his helmet and smiled so brightly at them and shook their hand and clapped them on the shoulder like they were a team all along and

Tony says things like 'I knew I could count on you (to be the supervillain I trusted you to be)’ and I just… I don’t actually know if this would be possible for other very intelligent villains but like were I a supervillain I would be swooning in my villainous boots trying not to look like I’m swooning.“

I can’t get over the last part. “were I a supervillain I would be swooning in my villainous boots trying not to look like I’m swooning” is the perfect description to describe what would happen here. I LOVE YOU by the way because you brought Tony The Stubborn Villain Wrangler into my life and I will forever be grateful!!

Tony has a talent to convince people (it’s been his job since before he can remember, and really, villains? They want power, they are often selfish, and tend to have low levels of empathy. So basically your average high-up manager. And those? Those are exactly the kind of people Tony knows how to talk to.

And then after he’s convinced the bad guys to–not be good, not do the right thing, seriously Rogers, shut up, they’re gonna run the other way before you’ve finished that sentence–save themselves (and Earth along with them for convenience sake), after the battle when he’s still riding the adrenaline high, Tony high-fives them and smiles brighter than he probably should and thanks them and–

Of course it’s not a patronus-worthy memory. Of course it doesn’t make them smile a tiny bit under their various masks whenever they think about it. Of course not.

They are villains.

When it comes to Iron Man they simply are…occasionally reasonable and practical.

Lamen headcanon #3


But imagine Laurent and Damen getting a CAT

-       The cat waking them up in the morning by jumping on Damen’s stomach

-       And Damen goes “GAH!” and spooks the cat who jumps off and hides under the bed

-       And there we have it: king Damianos on his belly on the floor trying to lure the kitty from under the bed

-       While Laurent laughs his ass off ON the bed and provides unhelpful commentary

-       Laurent – the cast iron bitch – of Vere accepting ambassadors on his throne and regarding them with his ice-cold gaze, all while stroking a purring cat on his lap and giving off the vibe of a supervillain, which makes people super-nervous

-       The cat occupying the throne like it’s its rightful place - a sight to which the servants are pretty used to by now

-       Damen walking around the castle with scratch marks, because the cat likes to climb up his body and sit on his shoulder

-       The guards are given the order to open the doors to the cat whenever it wants in or out of the room

-       So there we have the guards having the loveliest of times opening the doors to the royal kitten all day long and going: “OMG, can you decide already?! Are you going in or not? I’ll close the door, I’ll do it!”

-       The cat bringing dead mice to its masters as a gift

-       The cat sleeping on Laurent’s head

-       And then when Damen gets hurt one day (yet again!) the cat point blank refuses to leave him

-       So when Pascal comes to check on his bandages, Damen smiles at him from the bed with a cat purring loudly on his chest and Laurent sleeping with his head on Damen’s shoulder, and he goes: “I uhh… I’ll come back later”

-       Nikandros getting hissed on by the cat and being convinced it’s Laurent’s fault somehow

-       Important Meeting™ getting interrupted by a cat walking below the table and rubbing whiskers on peoples legs

-       Also the door opening during an Important Meeting™ and a cat walking in and ruining some intense argument

-       Laurent using the cat to ignore people

-       Damen using the cat to apologize to Laurent after having some stupid domestic fight. Like making the cute voice and big innocent eyes, and holding the cat up in front of him, because how can you even say “no” to those squishy faces?

-       (Also the cat is a present from Nicaise, who’s alive and well and lives with his parents and he gave them the cat – shut up)

jesuisunefillemagique-deactivat  asked:

Oh my gosh imagine Athena surprising Apollo with hugs almost everywhere from the agency to the courtroom she'll just hug him at random times


She’d totally do it. It’s more funny to do when he doesn’t expect it.

somanyofthekids  asked:

YA I'LL TALK TO YOU ABOUT TONY STARK, FAVORITE™ OF VILLAINS WORLDWIDE. It probably takes a bit for anyone to even realize. The first clue comes when one day the Avengers are hanging out, chatting, comparing being held hostage, y'know just regular stuff. Steve and Clint are talking about Madame Hydra's containment cells. "Have you been in the one with the orange stuff growing in the corner? What even is that?" "I don't know man. Last time she offered me a pillow and then threw me a ziplock (1/2)

ziplock bag full of gravel.” Tony leans over and frowns. “Madame Hydra? Are you sure? I’d swear I get fresh sheets every time I’ve been held by her.” “Sheets? As in bed sheets?? Madame Hydra gives you a bed???” Tony shrugs. “Yeah. The food’s pretty good too.” “She gives you FOOD??” “She once lectured me about eating a correct balance of protein and green leafy vegetables.” (2/2)

OMG YESSSSSS!!! I won’t even pretend I’m not insanely giggling to myself lol. 

On a slightly less funny note, the more they compare notes on being kidnapped the more the rest of the Avengers understand Tony’s laid-back attitude when it comes to one of them being taken. Suddenly him making jokes about Barton enjoying a nice little holiday with Doom footing the bill makes a lot more sense…cause that literally happened to him once.


“Lent,” Tony corrects slowly. “He lent me an island.”

He eyes them with genuine surprise, like he isn’t quite sure they aren’t fucking with him. “…I take it he doesn’t do that for everyone?”