HE WOULD !!!

enjolras just wants some of that sweet upper body strength

anonymous asked:

is tony a pta dad? i feel like he is. imagine 47 year old tony stark showing up at the decathlon team’s annual bake sale and getting into a fight with “that jackass, linda, and her dry-ass cake pops with the flimsy skewers. peter whens the next one of these? we’re going to crush linda”

BRUH HE TOTALLY WOULD

so he didn’t mean to be 

but flash thompson’s dad is a total asshole

so naturally peter is gonna win first place at the band fundraiser instead of Flash. Tony is a fucking billionaire, he can handle it. Mr. Thompson–his name might be Mike? That’s a dick name–is going to cry in his two-years-ago-BMW, which isn’t that good of a car to begin with. Tony built better cars when he was drunk and eighteen. 

Tony didn’t know how to bake. Keyword: didn’t. After one of Peter’s snobby ass classmates’ moms makes fun of Aunt May’s baking skills for the bake sale, Tony takes it upon himself to beat Linda at her own fucking game. 

“Dry ass bitch tries to tell me her chocolate truffles are better from her grandmother’s recipe from IOWA. Try me bitch, I got ingredients directly imported from France.” 

It should be noted that Peter got this all on video. Including Tony’s ten minute rant about how someone from Iowa wouldn’t know a truffle from a Costco knockoff, and the entire lecture of the invention of chocolate truffles in France. 

Tony’s truffles knocked it out of the park. Linda’s were a fucking NIGHTMARE compared to Tony’s. They’re dry. 

But then she whips out the CAKE POPS.Tony fumes as hers sell for two dollars  “You can’t fake quality,” Linda said smugly. 

“Hammer Industries does it all the time, I wouldn’t be surprised,” Tony says back. 

He doesn’t know how people make cake pops. But he’s determined. 

He hires professional bakers. 

Peter posts about it on his finsta, and it’s the FUNNIEST thing that no one can know about. 

imagine MC ends up with 707, and she leaves the house one day but leaves her phone

*707 sees the phone an automatically has an idea*
*he goes into your bedroom, and puts on your signature sweater and leggings*
*he pulls a wig that almost exactly resembles your hair*
*he takes your phone, poses, and takes a picture in the mirror and sends it in the group chat*
Zen: I hope this isn’t out of line but,,,,, you look so beautiful MC. Seven is a lucky man.
Jumin: Indeed he is, she is a very elegant lady.
Jaehee: MC, weren’t you supposed to be going out today?
Yoosung: *doesn’t say anything because he KNOWS it’s 707. He’s gotten enough of his girl selfies to know.*
*Seven sends another selfie,, but it’s without the wig and he’s blowing a kiss*
*jumin has left the chat*
*jaehee has left the chat*
Zen: SEVEN WHY. WHYY DO Yo u DO THeS E THINGS
Yoosung: I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. YOU C An’T FOOL ME ANYMORE 707

////mission accomplished, agent 707 out////

consider: peter p just taking the window instead of the door in any situation possible

like not even as spiderman. just as peter. he climbs in through the window and anyone who doesn’t know him is like

’???????? this normal?????’

literally all of his classmates who have seen Too Much Weird Shit: oh ya thats just peter he does that

  • Kaz: do you want to know how I actually hurt my wrist
  • Jesper: yes
  • Kaz: I was hula hooping. I attend a class for fitness and fun
  • Jesper: oh my god
  • Kaz: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie-doodle
  • Jesper: why are you telling me this
  • Kaz: because no one will ever believe you
  • Jesper: you sick son of a bitch

Avengers: “we’re going to stop you!” 

Thanos: “you’ll have to do a sacrifice play for that” 

Tony, stepping out despite Avengers trying to stop him and pull him back: 

DID SOMEONE SAY SACRIFICE PLAY

THE BROS: If the Royal Tombs had been left in better condition, we’d have more weapons for the Armiger.

THAT 2,000 YEAR OLD FUCKER WITH HIS 117 WEAPONS ARSENAL: Yes…too bad…(kicks walls)…the old kings…(tears down a pillar)…didn’t know…(pours gasoline)…how to build things…(lights a match)…to last.

WHAT A PITY. “Natural” decay. Pff.

Present mic, whispering: des-pa- cito

Aizawa: bitch I dare you to say that in my ear at 5am for the 45th time

Present mic: that’s so sad Alexa play despacito

Aizawa: Im getting a divorce

Present mic: but babe,,

Aizawa: AND IM TAKING SHINSOU AND ERI

thor is THAT boyfriend who always mentions his boyfriend like “hey have u met bruce banner???? is the moon adn the stars. like that dean martin said, a pizza pie hit my cornea” 

“thor that’s not how it goes” 

“Shut up steve what do you know you don’t have SEVEN DOCTORATES LIKE MY BOYFRIEND–DOCTOR BRUCE–” 

“oh god”