HE'S-SO-OFFENDED

hey uh did i ever share on here what i stumbled upon concerning a homophobic greek guy from the island of lesbos who tried to take greece’s gay community to court in 2008 all because he was so offended about the lesbos demonym ‘lesbian’ also referring to gay women because i was just reminded of it while talking with my wife and i’m losing my fucking mind all over again

i love how Jon didnt even notice or care that she called him Lord hes like :) o good we’re off to a friendly start hello yes our travel was good thanks, and if ya look at Davos’ face hes just so offended like EXCUSE!!!! YOU!!!!!! FORGIVE ME MY ACCENT BUT!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY BROODING BITCH SON!!!!!!!! HE IS AMAZING AND SPECIAL AND HE IS THE KING IN THE NORTH!!!!!!! 

cute couple things — p.p.

summary : extended dating peter would include… ft. a bunch of random thoughts i had about peter being a cute soft boyfriend !!!

  • reads your favorite books and memorizes lines from them that he can sneak into conversations to make you smile :)
  • it’s v hard for him to not look at you when he’s with you he just always wants to be looking at your face
    • “it’s, like, really hard to stop staring at you”
    • “huh?”
    • “you’re so pretty i can’t stop looking wow”
  • lights up !!!! when you walk into a room even if he’s just seen you two minutes ago and you were only in the bathroom for like a second
  • kisses you all of your face whenever he can just infinite amounts of kisses pressed across your cheeks and your nose and your eyelids 
  • he doesn’t really do nicknames like he’s not a darling sort of person
  • if he’s gonna call you anything it’ll probably be babe/baby/pretty girl or something of that sort
  •  (i started the pretty girl trend on the low don’t @ me)
  • sometimes you call him bro and he gets so offended 
    • “listen,,, peter,,, bro,,,,”
    • y/NNNN i’m not bro!!!!!!”
    • “k bro”
    • “you’re the worst” 
  • his face resembles that of a disgruntled pouty kitten whenever you call him bro
  • in school he taps his cheek lightly while facing away from you until you give him a kiss there and does that periodically throughout the day until MJ throws a pencil at him
    • “peter enough she’s kissed you like fifty times in the past twenty minutes haven’t you had enough”
    • “it’s never enough”
  • hands down gives the best hugs ever!!!! sweetest, softest, warmest hugs that you never wanna leave and they leave you a blushy mess for hours
  • nerd who tells you that you’re prettier than any star in the sky
  • will fight for your honor even if it means getting punched in the nose by one of flash’s bigger friends because flash won’t take on peter himself
    • “fuck peter why would you even call flash a giant dick??? like i know he is one but why would you ever you know his friend is like some sort of mutant tree”
    • “he said your butt was nice i can’t just let that sort of comment slide babe it’s unacceptable”
  • always knows he can rant to you about science bc you actually listen!!! and you care!! and you ask questions and you make him SO HAPPy!!
  • asks for permission to do everything
    • “hey would it be cool if i held your hand right now”
    • “yes of course”
    • “oh awesome!”
  • you send him selfies and his replies vary but they’re usually along the lines of
    • “oh my gosh you’re so cute i’m coming over”
    • “i love you you angel let me kiss you tomorrow”
    • “wow i have a real liFE ethereal as the love of my life i love the world”
  • sends a goodnight/goodmorning text every day with each heart emoji he can find 
  • his entire recently used section is just different colored hearts and rainbows and sparkles because he uses emojis obnoxiously
  • he’s convinced that the worst thing in the world is having to leave you after a long day of hanging out on a saturday or something
  • will 10/10 complain for hours to may about going home because he’s not with you anymore and he’s clingy
  • you’re his best friend and he’s not afraid to scream about it
    • “my best friend is dating me!!!!!!! i’m so lucky i love them so much” 
    • “peter we know”
    • “well now you know just a little extra all right?”
  • wishes you were able to fall asleep in his arms more often but you’re still young and he’s like oh well we have forever to do that
  • you insult each other all the time basically but??? you both love it banter is everything
      • “penis parKER flash is clever tbh”
      • “you’re such a little shit i’m actually going to fight you”
      • “seriously i dare you put your fists up now”
  • if you post a selfie and he doesn’t like it right away you’ll text him seven times in a row hinting that he should go like and comment 
  • texts at four am about random conspiracy theories or weird facts that only you two would find interesting 
  • shoulders = pillows on the train/bus most of the time
  • he is such a slut for having his hair played with ngl
  • it makes him so happy n calm he could lie like that, with your fingers just raking through his hair, for hours on end
  • he’s never felt more at home than when you’re sitting with him at his kitchen table eating mushy mac and cheese that he tried to make himself because may wasn’t home to help him out as you playfully make fun of him for ruining pasta
  • listens to ed sheeran songs with you because he’s an ed lover honestly and every song makes him think of you
  • hand massages when you’re cramping up after long tests or in class essays that leave you super stressed n anxious (fuck u ruby thx for the idea that murdered me n my soft spirit)
  • knows how to settle you nerves better than anyone else and vice versa
  • puts his hands on your cheeks before he kisses you 
  • you always joke about spidey in class and no one gets what you’re saying but he does and freaks out
    • “that’s a sticky situation”
    • “y/n” 
    • “don’t worry i found that on the web
    • y/n
    • “do you think spiders are men
    • “oh my gOD”
  • he doesn’t care at all if you take one of his sweaters or all of his sweaters he just gives zero fucks you could take them all and he’d love you for it 
    • “here take this one too”
    • “peter i have too many and it’s almost april”
    • “but you’d look so cute in this one” then he pouts and you’re a goner
  • peter writes you tiny notes in class that are his weird thoughts and ramblings and feelings but you save them all and put them in a memory box
    • there was one and it said here’s a concept : you have a bright future ahead of you, and i’m there. i like that concept.
      • you did, too
  • watches every cheesy romantic movie on netflix with you not just because you want to, but because he does too and he can’t help it that’s just how it is 
  • matching ugly christmas sweaters at christmastime because peter parker is an annoying headass and refuseS to go anywhere without one during the holiday season and if he’s wearing one he’s making you match
  • super spidey strength allows him to give you piggy back rides all throughout manhattan when you guys head to the city 
  • makes you kiss him in the rain even though there’s water up your nose and your hair is matted to your forehead 
  • one text makes your heart go !!!!!!!!! because that’s your boy!!!!! and you love him so much because he’s a lovely beautiful person that deserves the world !!!!!
  • making out is rarely super fast n intense like it’s still intense but you go slowly and you can make out for hours without a c are in the world
  • makes sure his hair looks nice before he goes out on a date with you
  • tells you that he loves you and that he’s happy you’re a part of his life as often as he can manage 
  • just wants to love you unconditionally forever
  • texts you at 11:11 every night and says something cheesy as fuck like “you’re my wish tonight babe” or “11:11 is always for you” and sometimes he’ll @ you on snap and you’re like wow we’re That couple 
  • but honestly???? you don’t care that much he’s so cute
  • knows your order at every restaurant/fast food chain/coffee shop imaginable and if he happens to pass by a mcdonalds or dunkin donuts while he’s swinging around queens he tries to pick something up for you 
  • you love his eyes you could probably get lost in them they’re gorgeous
    • “peter your eyes are so lovely i hate you”
    • “aw i love you more babe you say the sweetest things to me”
  • you think his smile is the prettiest thing ever
  • and when his face scrunches up when he’s super happY???? amazing you kiss him immediately everywhere and he gets so flustered and he giggles and tries to squirm away but not really
  • cause he loves it
  • and he loveS YOU
  • i love my boyfriend goodnight to all

Keep reading

celebrities read mean tweets: exy edition

  • neil reads all of the tweets with the most stoic expression
  • @/andrewminyard03: i don’t get why people hype josten so much, he’s an idiot”
  • neil: same
  • after a while he starts to answer in different languages just to piss the producers off
  • wymack is watching and asking abby why didn’t he let andrew kill neil with that racquet when they first saw him
  • twenty minutes into the show, neil looks up with bored expression and says “can i get some tweets that aren’t from andrew”
  • no, they’re all from andrew
  • andrew refuses to do it at all and asked about it aaron says that it’s because he’s got enough of nicky, the meanest bitch
  • nicky is so offended he doesn’t send aaron a christmas card
  • kevin always gets the meanest ones and he wants to fight everyone
  • @/nhemmick: kevin day can stick his racquet up his ass, he can’t play in a team for shit”
  • kevin: how ‘bout i stick it up your ass, hemmick? maybe if you’d play it like you mean it i would be able to play in a team you fucki-
  • the producer: mr day this is national tv, can you-
  • kevin: FIGHT ME
  • dan and matt do it together but they don’t get any mean tweets because nicky spams with praises about matt’s handsome face and alvarez spams about dan’s body to die for
  • renee and allison do it together too but it’s just renee reading the tweets with the nicest smile while allison talks about neil in jorts for the whole hour because what the fuck i know he lived under a rock but come one josten COME ON
  • (after the show all of the people that sent mean things about renee apologized because she’s a total sweetheart how could they ever tell her something like that also andrew threatened to break their legs so there’s that)
  • nicky fucking laughs at everything he reads
  • @/andrewminyard03: this isn’t hooker convention, this is nicky hemmick’s wedding”
  • nicky: get rekt minyard
  • @/kevinday: nicky hemmick is a brooklyn hipster piece of shit and i’m gonna fight him”
  • nicky: kevin day has a shrine dedicated to jeremy knox and he kisses the pictures before every important game
  • (kevin personally flies from new york to germany two days later and erik has to wrestle him to the ground to stop kevin from breaking an exy racquet over nicky’s head)
  • jeremy knox agrees to do it because he’s sure people won’t be mean to him
  • they are
  • (mostly his former teammates, read: alvarez)
  • jeremy: i didn’t win a team spirit award for five years straight for this
  • jean reads only two tweets
  • “jean moreau sounds llike he has a dick in his mouth all the time”
  • jean: what’s wrong with having a dick in my mouth?
  • jeremy cries behind the scenes
  • “jean moreau looks like this person who doesn’t deserve to be famous but he slipped thru the cracks and ppl were like ‘ok’, i hope he dies”
  • jean slides from the chair to the ground and gets so close to the camera you can only see his mouth
  • jean: god i hope so too
  • that’s it because jeremy drags him out of there
  • no one knows if he was joking
  • kevin calls him ten minutes later to ask if he’s okay
  • jean hangs up on him
  • the producers never ask exy players to do any of it again
  • wymack is glad