Gravity Falls spoilers

what each Gravity Falls episode is basically about (spoilers duh)

S1

1. Tourist Trapped - gnomes stacked on top of one another try to get some with mabel

2. The Legend of the Gobblewonker - kids ditch uncle to find nessie

3. Headhunters - murder mystery but no one actually died

4. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel - plump southern kid tries to get some with mabel

5. The Inconveniencing - dipper thinks acting literally 2 months older will help him get in wendy’s pants and mabel gets possessed by old people

6. Dipper vs. Manliness - unnecessary gender stereotypes  

7. Double Dipper - dipper tries to get in wendy’s pants by making clones

8. Irrational Treasure - mabel solves a mystery by acting her age

9. The Time Traveler’s Pig - dipper goes back in time to get in wendy’s pants 

10. Fight Fighters - more unnecessary gender stereotypes

11. Little Dipper - mabel is taller than dipper in canada

12. Summerween - everything would have been fine if dipper was the fucking peanut butter

13. Boss Mabel - mabel learns to grow a pair

14. Bottomless Pit - episodes too short to be real so everyone just falls down a hole

15. The Deep End - mabel tries to get in mermando’s pants but he doesn’t wear any

16. Carpet Diem - mabel gets a dick and “the talk” while dipper reads erotica

17. Boyz Crazy - mabel tries to get into 5 boys’ pants but they are all stupid

18. Land Before Swine - stan is a dick to pigs

19. Dreamscapers - inception with a demon dorito 

20. Gideon Rises - children literally almost die because the plump southern kid is extra as fuck

S2

1. Scary-oke - the pines family sings so bad that zombies literally explode

2. Into the Bunker - a shape shifter gets dipper to tell wendy that he wants to get in her pants

3. The Golf War - two 12 year olds are suspiciously good at mini golf

4. Sock Opera - dipper freakiNG GETS POSSESSED BY A FUCKING DEMON AND MABEL DOESNT NOTICE BECAUSE SHE HAS A HARD ON FOR A GUY WHO MAKES OUT WITH HIS HANDS 

5. Soos and the Real Girl - soos wants to fuck a dating sim

6. Little Gift Shop of Horrors - more short not real episodes and stan be creepin

7. Society of the Blind Eye - shit is so fucked that people are ERASING THEIR OWN MINDS

8. Blendin’s Game - mabel and dipper time travel some more because they are nosey as fuck

9. The Love God - mabel causes two angsty teens to fuck

10. Northwest Mansion Mystery - an episode of supernatural with a ghost that turns people into wood

11. Not What He Seams - stan becomes a real person, shit gets real, and mabel single handedly furthers the plot

12. A Tale of Two Stans - forget stan’s old backstory. here’s a new one

13. Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons - dipper and ford play d&d

14. The Stanchurian Candidate - stan runs for mayor because mabel and dipper have discovered mind control

15. The Last Mabelcorn - a unicorn tells mabel she isn’t pure so mabel  PUNCHES IT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING FACE

16. Roadside Attraction - dipper still wants to get in wendy’s pants so stan teaches him how to be a douche

17. Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future - mabel has a mid-life crisis while dipper and ford escape death in the vacuum of space

18. Weirdmageddon Part 1 - A DEMON TAKES OVER THE TOWN. post-apocalyptic wendy is hot

19. Weirdmageddon Part 2 - bill traps mabel in HER OWN MIND???

20. Weirdmageddon Part 3 - OK SERIOUSLY A DEMON TRIES TO KILL TWO CHILDREN AND THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT HIM IS BY TRAPPING HIM IN STANS MIND AND THEN ERASING STANS MEMORIES HOLY FUCK. then they have a birthday party

watching Legend of the Gobblewonker the first time: ah, hah ha, this moral about spending time with your older relatives is delivered in an amusingly over the top and contrived manner as befits the tone of this series but I guess it’s nice that they all had a day out together in the end.

watching it again after seeing the whole series: oh my god poor Stan he just wants to spend time with his family and he’s been rejected so much throughout his life and now this and that must have brought up a lot of painful memories thank god they did actually spend time together in the end oh and his boat is named the Stan o’ War so that makes it even worse

watching it the third time: wait wait WAIT A MINUTE they didn’t just abandon him they abandoned him to go chase an anomaly Stan just wanted to go sailing with his family and they didn’t see that as important compared to tracking down monsters THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT FORD DID “you care more about your dumb mysteries than your family” OH MY GOD STAN I’M SO SORRY